Work Text:
Galinda wakes to the sound of birds chirping and the stream of golden light filtering through her curtains. For one moment as she yawns herself awake and blinks away the sleep from her eyes, there is peace, there is quiet. Until she remembers, like she has been for the past week since her Elphie’s death and then her peace is filled with the almost familiar sorrow and emptiness that she left in her heart. Galinda signs deeply. Before pushing herself up from bed and walking over to her vanity. In her reflection she sees a shell of herself. There are dark circles beneath her eyes. Her usually silky blonde hair has formed knots and frizziness. Her face is pale and colorless from how much she has cried.
Once not so long ago she would have been horrified at the state she is in now, desperately trying to clean herself up and be presentable. But now, for once in her life she doesn't care, not now, not when SHE is gone.
A little later after she has written her letter to Elphaba, tears stain the shaky writing of her letter. She presses her lips to the envelope desperately, wishing that it was Elphie against her lips rather than the cold parchment. Her lips leave a pink stain on the envelope as she puts on her dress and heads out into the heat of summer. Stepping out into the sun makes Galinda flinch, the bright lushness of the morning reminds her of herself now, the fake smiles that don’t reach her eyes, the perfectly performed speeches to the munchkins that she wishes she didn’t have to attend. Everything she does now is but a performance to the people who don't really know her, and frankly never will, not like Elphaba did.
The green trees sway in the wind as she walks to Elphaba's makeshift grave, it's not perfect, but she knows that if no one else will, she will have to. She decided to plant a stone close to one of Elphaba's favorite trees, her name painted on the stone in a pretty green color. The grave read:
Here lies Elphaba Thropp, the truest person I have ever know, my hero
Galinda kneels beside the stone, flowers that she had brought before lay upon the grave. Galinda thinks that it should be the dead of winter, a blizzard of cold, raining upon the world, so that at least one thing would reflect the sorrow deep within her bones. Tears escape Galinda's eyes as she gently rests her letter against the grave’s stone. She sits in the grass for a while, watching the leaves sway in the breeze and the flowers glow in the sunlight. She closes her eyes and pretends Elphie is sitting next to her, her hand resting on her shoulder with a soft smile on her face. Reality is now but a diluted fragment of her life before, and she knows that this loss will be with her until her last breath.
The letter:
My dearest Elphie:
There is so much I should have said, so much I shouldn't have done, and even more what I should have. My greatest regret is not going with you, without a moment's hesitation. I should have wrapped my arms around you and never let go, I should have kissed you, so that you would have understood that I loved you. I’m in love with you, it took me so long to figure out, and once I did, it was too late. You are my greatest love, and my deepest grief. When I wake up in the morning, I have a moment of bliss when I think I will meet you in the halls, or eat breakfast with you like we used to. Until I remember, and then I cry all over again. The only thing I have left is your hat, I sleep with it every night, inhaling the sweet scent of you. I can tell that the scent is fading and I dread the day when I can no longer recall the exact shade of your green skin, or the soothing sweetness of your voice, or the exact pressure of your touch against mine. Everything green reminds me of you, the trees, the grass, the green of someone's shirt, but none of those shades are as beautiful as you, and perhaps nothing will be again. I can still feel you with me, somehow, I know that you are not truly gone. Even if I don’t know what is after this life, I know that whatever it is, I will follow you. You were the bravest, strongest, most vulnerable person I have ever known, god- you were so special Elphie. It was an honor being your bestest friend. It's so hard to pretend to everyone that you meant nothing to me, because you were all that ever really mattered. I love you Elphie, so much, and that will never change.
Forever yours, Galinda
I have been changed, for good.