Work Text:
The storm rolled in as they watched. It was awesome in the old-timey sense, in that it inspired awe, seeing rain fall in waves from miles in the sky, watching the sky darken as it drew close. Feeling the wind pick up a little, feeling the cool air rush in, the herald of the rain to come. Not a downpour, not a drizzle, but perfectly in-between, and no lightning either. Just rain, and rain, and rain. Suletta now knew why her wife insisted they sit out on the porch to watch. She liked it.
The cool crept in again, misty air giving Miorine enough of a chill that she sat in Suletta’s lap and huddled half into her chest, still unwilling to look away from the rain. Suletta understood that. It was beautiful. Not as beautiful as Miorine, yes, but she could look at her wife whenever she wanted. This was the first time they’d been on Earth at the right time for a rainstorm. GUND-Arm and the preparations for the school on Mercury kept them unbelievably busy.
“Suletta.” Miorine said. There was a question implied there, one she knew from almost two years of living with her. It was how Miorine got her attention, it was how she said with a single word ‘there’s something I want to talk about.’ Her wife was a woman of few words, most of the time, but that was okay. Suletta liked the quiet, the calm, and words weren’t a necessity for them anyway. They knew each other too well to really need them.
“Yes?”
“Let’s go out on a date.”
“Um? It’s… raining?” Miorine laughed, holding her arms tighter around Suletta’s chest.
“I can see that, silly. I mean what I said.”
“O… kay? Where do you want to go, then?”
“Nowhere. We’re staying right here,” Miorine answered.
“That’s… I don’t think that makes it a date…?”
“Sure it does,” she laughed, “we can go on our first date in our own front yard.” Miorine got up from her lap, stretching a little bit. Suletta always liked watching her do that. She almost reached for her crutches, the ones her PT had given her a couple weeks ago. They hadn’t been used yet. She wanted to, but they’d told her to take it slow, so she took it slow. Taking this kind of thing too fast would break things, cause pain. Suletta had had more than enough of both.
“You- you want to go on a date, in the rain?”
“Yes.” Her wife said simply. “I’ve… I’d always wanted to feel the rain on my skin,” she spoke with a sigh, resting her arms on the porch railing, staring out into the rain. “No one else can feel it for you.” Suletta could hardly see her face, but she knew she was happy. She could just tell that Miorine was happier than she’d been in a long time. “You know the song, right?” Miorine looked back at her, expectantly, and she nodded.
“If you… you said that in past tense. Like you don’t want it, m- maybe that you haven’t wanted it for a while…?” Miorine tilted her head, then nodded back, motioning Suletta to continue. “If you don’t want it anymore… what happened? What changed?” Now her wife laughed quietly, taking a few steps to the side, a few steps forward. Once in the rain, she turned back, reaching a hand out to her. There was more love in her wife’s eyes than she’d ever seen.
“You.”
“Oh. M- Miorine, I-” she gasped, vision blurring. “I- I don’t- I don’t… know what to say.”
“That’s okay. I just want you out here, with me.” Suletta silently gestured at her wheelchair, at the crutches lying just within arms reach. Questioning without words. She didn’t think the lump in her throat would let her speak that much anyway. “It doesn’t matter, I don’t care which. Just… just come with me. Experience what I gave up in favor of helping you so long ago.”
“And… and do what?” Suletta thought she knew, but she wanted her wife to say it. Words were nice sometimes. Words could be lovely, especially when they came from Miorine Mercury.
“And we can dance in the rain. Together.”
“O- okay…” she said, putting her hands on her wheels. Then she stopped. If I run, I’ll get… the comfort of familiarity. But if I move forward… Suletta wondered to herself, eyeing the unused crutches, then I get confidence in myself. Then I get to dance with my wife. She smiled, and met silver eyes again as she reached to her right with intent to use. Though given that she thinks a dance in our front yard qualifies as a ‘date,’ she probably wouldn’t have any qualms with me dancing in a wheelchair.
“Oh, Suletta you- you don’t have to if you-”
“I want to.” Her hands clutched metal. Calling them ‘unused’ wasn’t strictly accurate: she’d been shown how to use them, had taken a few steps with them in her PT’s office to make sure she understood how, and they’d been there to catch her at every second. But outside of that… she hadn’t worked up the will to stand without someone else’s help yet. The effects of Calibarn ran so deep, Suletta hadn’t been sure she would be able to. Her PT hadn’t been sure either -no one except Eri had gone to that high a Permet score and lived before- but had given her them out of hope.
Whether or not she could do it, now seemed the perfect moment to try.
So Suletta took one in each hand, fingers around the handlebars and elbows against the armrests, whispered move forward gain two, move forward gain two under her breath, and pushed herself off. It wasn’t really that hard, she’d had a little bit of practice. What worried her was the dancing part that she was aiming for, and then she instead started worrying very much about the porch’s uneven floorboards. Moving over perfectly flat concrete or brick was well and good, but the little dips and rises between hunks of wood might trip her up. One of them nearly did before she looked down to situate herself.
Once she was fully out of the chair, Suletta tried putting a little weight on her legs. Nothing hurt, so she tried a little more. Ah, yeah, there’s the pain. So her nerves weren’t fully healed yet. Maybe they never would be. That was okay. Suletta was already lucky to be alive after Calibarn, so she simply counted herself doubly lucky she could do even this. Move forward, gain two. She shifted her arms in small swings, barely half a foot each, and once she knew the ground ahead well enough, looked back up to Miorine with a grin.
“I’m doing it!”
“You are! Good job, Suletta.” Miorine smiled back at her, took half a step forward. “Do you think you can manage to come out here, or…”
“I’m gonna try.” Her wife nodded, shifting back. Giving Suletta space enough to do it on her own, but staying close enough to catch her if she fell. Left forward, right forward. One step at a time, until the pegs of her crutches sank holes into the wet dirt. Rain fell onto her, running rivulets down her cheeks, her arms, but Suletta ignored it for now. Enjoying that could come later, after she overcame this new terrain.
That ended up being easier than she’d thought it would be, too. Once she got used to the little divots the crutches left, how they continued going down just a little bit after hitting the ground, it wasn’t really that bad. Sure, she probably couldn’t dance dance like this, and she knew if she tried to do it for too long her arms would get tired, but Suletta was doing it. And she was sure she could do it for long enough for a dance, so she wobble-swayed her way out to Miorine, and rested the back of her hand against one of the crutch bars, palm facing up. It was as close as she could get to reaching her hand out in turn.
“Shall we dance, my love?”
“I believe we shall,” Miorine answered, taking Suletta’s hand and putting it back around the handle, lacing her fingers over top. Then she put her other hand around Suletta’s waist, began humming a tune in three, and they danced. At first Suletta stumbled, unsure of how to move in tandem with her wife, but Miorine leaned against her, held her up as she figured it out. It took a second, and not just because of her injuries. She’d never danced with anyone before, ever. Not on Mercury or on Asticassia, though there’d been a dance class elective that sort of served as a supplementary to the fencing class, in an odd sort of way, but she’d opted not to take it. Now she wished she had.
“Hey, M- Miorine, I’m… sorry if I’m not very good at this.” Suletta murmured, only just now getting into what she felt was a proper step pattern.
“Shush, you,” Miorine quavered.
“It’s just that- that I’ve never done this before, and even if I had-”
“Sh- shut up! I said shut up.” Glancing down at her, Suletta saw her wife huddled away in the crook of her neck. Oh, she… she’s trying not to cry? “Just- just dance with me. It doesn’t matter if you’re bad at it. I don’t care. All that… all that matters is we do it together.” So she did, guided into a gentle sway by Miorine’s hand on her waist, the two circling each other. “So dance with me. And… and enjoy the rain. With me.” Miorine’s hand squeezed over hers, gentle and reassuring.
“Miorine… are you crying?” Her hand gripped. “H- hey! I’m just asking!”
“I- I’m not… not crying, idiot. I just… have… rain in my eyes. It’s just the rain.” Suletta smiled, and wished very dearly that she had a hand free to ruffle her wife’s hair.
“Okay. It’s just the rain.” She knew she was lying, but she didn’t say otherwise, didn’t even approach calling her out for it. Miorine had her reasons to deflect like that, and Suletta didn’t want to turn this moment into something else. Oh yeah, she remembered.
The rain.
Suletta looked up to the sky, blinking away the few raindrops that landed in her eyes, and focused on it. In the back of her mind, she was giddy that she could focus on it, that moving and dancing like this already came automatically, but the rest felt the rain. She felt the rain, with her wife, and it was… nice. She’d assumed it would feel like a shower, but no, it was… too arhythmic for that. Not steady. The rain fell when it wished. The rain was… wild, uncontrolled.
Suletta’s appreciation for it grew, and she understood better why her wife was crying, feeling this. She wanted to cry, too.
We’re free, like the rain.
“I’m just…” Miorine started, breaking off into a sob, “I can’t- can’t believe I’m… actually feeling this right now? With you? I’d dreamed about it for so long, longed after it, and then… and then… well, a- and then I was… longing for other things. I’d forgotten the rain, and how much I wanted to stand in it. Because I had something else, someone else to look forward to.” It felt like she was trying to make a point, one Suletta didn’t understand, but it did remind her of something.
“You said, before we started this,” Suletta started, leaning her elbow on her crutch so she could place a shaky hand on her wife's cheek, feeling rain mix with tears, cold mix with warm, “that you… gave this up. To help me. Was that… was it when we first met? When I thought I was rescuing you?”
“Yes- yes, well… no. After that.” Miorine still didn't look up at her. That was okay. She knew her wife didn't like to be seen crying, knew it was a leftover habit from the… environment her father put her in. Knew it was so she could be seen as strong, independent, self-sufficient. They were working on that, but it took a while. Even though both agreed that behavior should change, Suletta still found it sweet, in a way.
“After…? During my second duel with Guel, you mean?” Miorine shook her head.
“It was when you w- were locked away. After the first one, at one point the… people I paid to smuggle me to Earth found me on Asticassia. Because I'd missed the pickup.”
“Oh, sorry…” her wife's head pushed into her chest roughly.
“Don't- don't apologize for that! If you hadn't, I… I… I don't know. I'd be on Earth, I guess. But then I-”
“You could've left!? Why? How? Why didn't you?” Miorine finally looked out of her hiding place, tearful eyes meeting Suletta’s own straight on. She half-wanted to brush those tears away, but she could hardly make them out as they mingled with the rain.
“Because of YOU, you idiot! They- they had another opening, another way to slip me out. And I- I took it.”
“You…! You had it! You had what you wanted!” Suletta had no idea! Had this all really happened when she was stuck in her cell?
“I- I did but… but I didn't want it anymore. And I almost took too long to realize it.” Miorine took a shaky breath, leaning more into Suletta’s body. It almost tipped her over, but her wife was very small, and she was very strong. “I could've been feeling this a long time ago, but then… then I would’ve been feeling it alone. You're right. I could've left. I was leaving. I- I was literally on the very ship whisking me away from my idiot father and his idiot duels.”
“Then why…” another shove. This one really did almost knock her over.
“Didn't you hear me the first time? Because of you!” Miorine reached up to cup Suletta’s cheek, to stroke a stray wet hair back behind her ear. “I was five minutes away from the point of no return, and then I decided to help you. And I never looked back.”