Chapter Text
Shuhrat always felt at peace after talking with his fellow spetsnaz operators, especially Timur and Maxim. They always left him feeling warm afterwards and like a weight was lifted off his shoulders even if nothing had been on his mind previously before. It was just something about their demeanors and dynamics they had together. It never failed to make him feel safe and secure, like the comfort of being under a warm blanket in a dimly lit room with the sounds of laughter coming from the other room.
“Shuhrat,” Maxim nodded at him as he sat down with them around the table in the Hereford breakroom. “Hello Maxim’” Shuhrat replied as he gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that was handed to him. “How’s your work on your entry denial devices going?” Shuhrat asked after he’d taken a sip of it. “Oh fine, and you?” Maxim replied.
“It’s going okay, mostly having trouble with the new method of inserting it onto surfaces but I’m getting somewhere.”
“I’m sure you’ll get there eventually,” Maxim murmured in response.
They had both been recently working upgrades to their signature weapons and had been spending a lot of time together as such. Shuhrat always felt a certain warmth during these times and was excited for later when they’d continue working on them after their shifts were over. Sometimes Timur would join them as well and just observe them while drawing something in his sketchbook, occasionally adding onto the conversation as well. Sometimes he would draw them working on their devices and it never failed to make Shuhrat blush a little that he thought so highly of him to draw him in what he presumed to be some sort of sacred little journal. He just hoped it wasn’t at all noticeable whenever he’d go red.
“So how’s Timur doing?” Shuhrat asked, he always thought it was kind of funny that Timur and Maxim were roommates. It reminded him of those animals who’d become bonded pairs almost, he didn’t know why however. “Good, he’s been doing his usual thing y’know, mostly just helping me out in the kitchen and working on his paintings,” Maxim said as he smiled a little. “Good, good,” Shuhrat murmured, he didn’t understand why but he was a little envious of them, both of their living situation and of their dynamics with each other.
Perhaps it was because he didn’t have anyone living with him besides Nashoba, who while he greatly loved and was good company, wasn’t the same as having an adult over the age of twenty to interact with and do things such as drinking at the pub with. He’d tried to find other people besides Timur and Maxim whom he could befriend but his demeanor and personality were just too different from most of the other Rainbow operators to successfully befriend many of them and have fun interactions with them. He’d just come to accept it at a certain point and ended up just spending every night watching the BBC Historic farm series with Nashoba while he let him explain lore of whatever media he was currently interested in to him.
“Well, I should get going, I have to help out with a training exercise with the recruits soon,” Shuhrat said as he got up and nodded a farewell at Maxim. “Alright, see you later on tonight,” Maxim said as he waved a little goodbye at him
During the training exercise all Shuhrat could think about was the engineering session he’d have later with Maxim and potentially Timur. They were the best parts of his days and he sincerely hoped that these little sessions were the best parts of their days as well. He headed down to the engineering lab afterwards and began working on his cluster charge while waiting for the other two to join him.
He was still working on the mechanics of the device that screwed the cluster charge onto surfaces when he heard two pairs of footsteps walk into the lab. “Shuhrat!” Timur greeted him as Shuhrat looked up from where he was focused on his device. “Hey,” Shuhrat murmured as he was focusing on getting the mechanism on his cluster charge to work just right. To his surprise Timur sat awfully close to him this time, close enough where he could see what he was drawing in his sketchbook. Some wildlife that he’d presumably seen while on a camping trip and some sketches of some of their coworkers that he must have snuck in while they were either not looking or were too tired from working to focus.
Shuhrat looked away quickly, afraid he was overstepping some sort of boundary of some kind just by viewing inside the little black book. Timur noticed this and smiled at him, laughing a little at the notable redness forming in his face. Trying to regain his pride and make it less embarrassing for himself he decided to ask him about what he’d recently been drawing and why he chose the subjects that he did.
While Timur and Shuhrat had their own little discussion on the topic of the arts, Maxim brought out his equipment and began working on his entry denial devices, listening to them while he did so. He sat further away from them, presumably due to concerns about the explosivity of his traps and fearing in case something went freakishly wrong that they’d be safer further away instead. He enjoyed listening to the two talk and found it to be good background noise while he was focusing on not burning his own hand off while working with explosives.
After they were done and headed home, Shuhrat couldn’t stop thinking about Timur smiling at him earlier that evening. It made him feel odd and warm inside. He knew he was attracted to men, given it was the reason he called off his engagement after two years but he certainly didn't want to be attracted to his own coworker and friend. How would Timur feel if he found out? Would he feel embarrassed or violated? Shuhrat didn’t know, but it worried him immensely. There was also the fact that he felt the same way about Maxim as well. Being attracted to one of your close friends was stressful enough, but both of them? He decided to bury this feeling and reflect on it at a later date.