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“Come on, Lottie,” Laura Lee giggled, “We need to get moving. You're going to make us late to practice!”
“I just need to grab something from my locker real quick, just give me one-” Lottie's tongue caught in her mouth when she saw that her locker had been gratified. She let out an involuntary whimper when she saw the word written on it. SCHIZO.
“Lottie, hey it's just some graffiti," Laura Lee reassured, “Whoever wrote it probably doesn't even kno-”
“Don't say it,” Lottie snapped, before turning to Laura Lee with tears forming in her eyes, “Did… did you tell somebody”
“No, of course not,” Laura Lee reassured, "It's probably just a stupid prank. Come on, the janitors will take care of it, just grab your stuff and we can go to practice.”
“I don't want to go to practice,” Lottie grumbled, “I might just go home.”
“If you're going home then I'm going with you,” Laura Lee rebutted.
“No,” Lottie huffed, “You already missed practice for being sick last week, Martinez will kill you.
“I'm not leaving you, Lottie,” Laura Lee affirmed, “This sucks for you, and I want to be nearby, just in case.”
“Just in case what?” Lottie bit back. She knew what. Knew that what was a breakdown. Or an episode. Or spiraling. “Fine, I'll go to practice.”
“Then hurry up before we're late,” Laura Lee teased.
“Do you think you could sleepover after practice?” Lottie sighed.
“I mean my grandparents don't really want me out on school nights but…” Laura Lee looked over to Lottie's pleading eyes. It was clear that she wasn't in a good headspace. Laura Lee hated the idea of her going home to the big, empty mansion like that, “but I'm sure just this once I can talk them into it.” Lottie breathed a sigh of relief at that.
Lottie was still on edge all of practice. Somebody found out. They must have. There was no way it could have been a coincidence right?
“Matthews, focus!” Coach Scott shouted across the field just in time for Lottie to zone back in and settle the ball Shauna had just lobbed with ease. It was hard for Lottie to concentrate. Was it somebody here that had found out? By the next water break it was obvious to Laura Lee that Lottie was still very distracted by the graffiti.
“Lottie,” Laura Lee panted, “It's okay, if you still want to go home now.”
“No, it's fine,” Lottie puffed out, “We're almost done anyways.” After a short scrimmage that proved to be true, but it may have felt much longer than Lottie wanted it to. She felt beyond antsy, she felt paranoid. Lottie shivered as she even thought of the word, it sounded the same in her head as it did when her therapist said it paranoid schizophrenic.
“Lottie, you look freaked,” Jackie interrupted her thoughts as everybody walked back to the locker room sweaty and exhausted.
“I'm not,” Lottie snapped, too quickly.
“Is it about your locker?” Jackie asked. Lottie froze.
“How do you know about what was on my locker,” Lottie said accusingly, her brows furrowed.
“Chill,” Jackie scoffed, “I just saw it after class, it's not like anybody thinks you're actually some serial killer psycho. The same spray paint was on Shauna's locker last week calling her a dyke, that doesn't make it true.”
“Has anybody else on the team had this problem?” Lottie asked, “Or anybody not on the team?”
“Somebody wrote ‘major loser’ on Melissa's locker a couple days ago,” Jackie added, “Guess I didn't realize this was a pattern.”
“Fucking freaky pattern,” Lottie grumbled, entering the locker room to find a commotion had broken out.
“It was you!” Gen pushed Ally hard on her chest. Jackie put herself in between the two.
“What was Ally?” Jackie asked, although she had a feeling it was related to the conversation her and Lottie had been having a minute ago.
“She has red speckles all over her high tops!” Gen grunted, “She called Melissa a loser!
“That one was just a joke!” Ally scoffed, “I just thought it was funny how worked up she'd gotten over it.”
“Yeah? Well it wasn't, “ Shauna spat, “Why would you even say that stuff about us?”
“Because it was funny and Danny said if I did it-”
“Danny Meers?! What the hell,” Mari scoffed.
“Ally, you know we're telling Coach about this right?” Akilah asked, “Don't make it worse.”
“It's not my fault Shauna was literally checking out Jackie's ass before I wrote that,” Ally bit back, “Akilah maybe leave this to Varsity, okay?”
“Ally, not cool,” Jackie grumbled, “Akilah is just trying to help.”
“So what, you guys are all turning on me for one stupid prank? It's not my fault Lottie left her open bag.” Lottie's heart sank.
“And you're snooping through our stuff?” Van asked, “Not cool.” Ally stormed off, grabbing her bag with a huff. Lottie's lower lip was twitching, the room felt too cramped. Laura Lee's hand reached for her, but she pulled away. Lottie grabbed her bag and exited the door opposite the one Ally had taken.
“Wait up,” Shauna called after her.
“I've- I've really got to go,” Lottie choked out, it was already obvious she was crying.
“I'm sorry she did that to you,” Shauna said, hustling to Lottie's side, “... is it true?”
Shauna's face softened in a way Lottie rarely saw. Lottie started sobbing and pressed her back to the exterior of the locker room to support herself.
“It's okay, Lot,” Shauna hushed.
“No it's not,” Lottie cried, “because that stupid shit isn't even true.”
Shauna sighed, “It's okay if you need medicine. You're still you.”
“No- I don't need medicine,” Lottie's voice cracked, “I'm not crazy. I'm not.”
“Okay,” Shauna conceded, “You're not.” Lottie continued to her car and saw Laura Lee had exited the locker room and jogged to catch up with her.
“Do you still want me over tonight?” Laura Lee asked.
“Yes please,” Lottie sniffled, “I don't… I don't want to be alone right now.” Laura Lee wrapped Lottie in a hug and gently rubbed her back.
Laura Lee spooned Lottie in her bed, they were both wearing Lottie's expensive silk pajamas. Lottie had tear streaks running down her face.
“I'm sorry you've had such a bad day,” Laura Lee hummed, “But it's just us right now, and you know it doesn't make me love you any less.”
“But everybody else is going to freak,” Lottie choked, “Jackie said I was a serial killer.”
“I don't think you even have time to kill people between soccer, your history museum volunteering, and those fancy galas,” Laura Lee purred, “Jackie was just being dumb.”
“I wish I wasn't like this,” Lottie sniffled, “I don't like being like this.”
“I know, baby,” Laura Lee hushed, “but you are doing such a good job at taking your meds and going to therapy.”
“Nobody else had to take fucking pills to just… just see what's real,” Lottie tried to curl further into herself, “I feel like a freak.”
“You just need a little help sometime,” Laura Lee reassured, "That's nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Lottie offered, wanting to change the subject.
“Sure, whatever you need,” Laura Lee cooed, “maybe something romantic?” Lottie finally smiled at that and flipped over to face Laura Lee.
“Yeah, I'd like something romantic.”