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Ollie rolled over to look at the alarm clock on his bedside for the millionth time tonight.
5:17AM
fffuck
he’d spent yet another night tossing and turning, flipping his pillow, his blanket, his direction of sleep, nothing seemed to work.
He just couldn’t sleep.
And it was exhausting.
this would be… day three(?) without sleep. That’s his best guess.
His brain is in too much of a thick haze to even remember the last time he was able to doze off. His eyes are glassy, his head is pounding, and he can’t seem to find a comfortable temperature. He’s either too hot, or too cold.
Point is, he’s not going to be sleeping anytime soon. So why lay here?
He grunted, pushing himself up onto his elbows to sit upright. His room was dark, but not pitch black, the beginnings of what was the blue morning hour had started to leak through his blinds.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed, slouching as his socks came into contact with the cold wooden floorboards.
He wiggled his feet for a moment, dreading the thought of even attempting to stand up. He was already dizzy enough slouched over the side of the bed.
He laid his head in his hands, trying one last time to find some semblance of rest before he would throw in the towel. It felt nice yes, but Ollie knew he wouldn’t be sleeping.
He begrudgingly pushed himself off the bed, wobbling slightly before catching himself on the bedside table. His medication bottles rattled, threading to roll off.
It’s not like they mattered. He hadn’t taken them for weeks. They were practically collecting dust.
He remembers when he first told Luke he stopped taking them. The look of concern and confusion stuck with Ollie. He doesn’t understand why Luke cares so much about Ollie’s dumb problems.
No matter how many dose changes, or swaps, or new medications he tried, they never seemed to work how he wanted them to.
Not like he deserved them to work either. He was too far gone.
He picked up one of the bottles. It had been filled months ago and was still pretty much full. It had some weird name that genuinely sounded like he was taking meth.
He felt like a freak.
In a fit of exhaustion and rage, he threw the capsule across the room, watching as it hit the closet, split open, and rained across the floor.
They bounced across the floor, hiding in every corner and every nook. They almost sounded like raindrops in a way. It was soothing, minus the fact that it was his medication that he had just hurled at the wall at 5 in the morning.
The last tablet stopped bouncing and the silence shortly returned to the room. A silence Ollie found weirdly unsettling.
Wait.
Silence? The room was never silent at night thanks to Luke’s snoring.
Luke wasn’t snoring.
Ollie turned to look where he probably should have immidietly after waking up, Luke’s bed.
He was met with a crumbled up bed sheet on the ground, and an empty mattress.
Huh.
It’s only now he realized the door was slightly cracked too. God, how lost was he in his own delusion to not see that?
He stepped through the door, following the warm orange light down the hallway. Past the girls room, past the bathroom, and down the stairs. He wobbled, thanking god for the handrail on the stairs. He would’ve been a pile at the bottom of them if not for it.
Ollie was nearing the bottom of the stairs when the kitchen came into view. He paused, letting his eyes adjust to he light. Standing at the bar was Luke, drinking a steaming beverage out of a mug that looked like it was 10 years old. Must be one of the twins art projects from high school. Ollie liked how sentimental Luke was. Holding onto every little thing. Soda tabs, receipts, rocks, pictures, the whole lot. Was it borderline hoarding? Maybe. Was it cute? Yeah.
“Morning.” Luke said, eyes still fixed onto the table.
How the hell did he see me?
“The loud noises were a good clue.”
Oh. He said that out loud.
“Sorry.”
“No harm. I’m already awake, and you know my sister sleeps with white noise. She’s not waking up for anything before 9am.”
“Yeah. Neither will Sage. That kid can sleep through a hurricane.” Ollie moved to stand across from him, resting his elbows on the counter. “Why are you up?”
“Why’re you up?” Lukas sipped his coffee.
“Couldn’t sleep. Again.” Ollie slouched over the counter, resting his head on his arms.
“Have you tried flipping your pillow?” Lukas smirked.
“Fuck you.” Ollie grumbled. “Got anymore coffee?”
“None for you.”
Ollie stood up straight, taken aback.
“What the hell man?”
“No coffee for you. You haven’t slept in three days. More caffeine will only make this worse.” Luke set his mug down, a stern yet concerned look in his eyes. “I’ll get you hot chocolate though.” He smiled.
Ollie groaned, laying his aching head back down. “And ibuprofen. Please.”
“Got a headache?”
“Mmmhhh.” Ollie groaned in response. “Pretty sure it’s a migraine coming on.”
Lukas hummed, rummaging through the cabinets. “Go sit down on the couch while I’m making this. Turn on something good we can watch.”
“Mk.” Ollie lulled. He didn’t even bother walking around to the front of the couch. He simply opted to fall over the back of it and adjust himself from there. Exhaustion pulled at his limbs as he started thumbing through the channels, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier, yet his head continued to pound. God this sucked. All he wanted was to sleep, but no matter how tired he was he couldn’t.
He settled on some marvel re run. Sage was into marvel stuff but to be honest, he couldn’t care less.
Growing heavier and harder to keep up, he laid his head against the armrest of the couch, blinking away the bleariness of exhaustion. His eyelids weighed down on him, blinks became longer and slower, and the lull of sleep was slowly beckoning him. Maybe he could rest his eyes for just a moment-
Just a moment.
A moment of peace, silence, and sleep-
And he was falling.
Fast.
He was falling into nothing and he had to get up.
The world was spinning, sickeningly fast. He felt like he was on a roller coaster, but constantly going down.
He needed out.
Wake up
Wake up
Wake u-
A full body jolt brought him back to reality, shooting him upright. His head pounded from the quick movement, screaming for him to stop fucking around. It felt like someone was jackhammering behind his head. He moaned, knowing how close he was to sleep only to be rudely awaken by his own petty brain. He didn’t know if it was the sheer exhaustion he was under or the days without sleep, but somehow a tear managed to slip down his face. God, he must look pathetic.
“You uh, you okay?”
He opened his eyes slowly, finding that Lukas was plopped next to him. He didn’t know when or how he got there, but there he was.
“I thought you were finally asleep, so I didn’t wanna disturb you. You were out for a good five minutes.”
“I thought I was too. Then I was yanked back here. Ugh my head kills.” Ollie slurred, riding the fine line between awake and unconscious.
“Yeah. Here.” Lukas dropped two red tablets into Ollie’s hand.
They were sickeningly familiar to the meds he had just thrown across the room.
Without a moments notice, Ollie tilted his head back and tossed them down his throat, drinking sips of the hot chocolate luke held out for him.
“Ugh.” Ollie laid back, staring at the ceiling.
“Try and relax man. You look like shit.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Dizzy. Everything drops and spins when I close my eyes.” He groaned.
Lukas huffed. “You know, you haven’t changed since you were a kid.” He laughed throwing an arm around Ollie’s figure. He pulled him closer, letting him rest against his side.
“What’d you mean?” He yawned, letting his head lull to the side and rest on lukas’ shoulder. The warmth, breathing, and sound of his voice gave Ollie an anchor. Something to ground himself on.
“Remember the first time we had a sleepover? At my dad’s house?” Lukas ran his fingers through Ollie’s hair, smiling softly when he heard a small noise of approval. “Well, that night, you woke me up with the same complaint. You kept falling asleep, then waking up feeling like you were falling.”
Ollie was falling asleep. The anchor of Lukas’ hand running through his hair plus his soft speaking gave him something to hold onto. He was finally calm.
He was warm. He was calm.
He was safe.
“Anyways, I fell asleep, then probably 20 minutes later, I woke up to you completely wrapped around my arm! Hah. You were like Velcro. Wouldn’t budge until the morning.” Lukas laughed, fully aware that no one was listening to his story.
Ollie was lights out. His plan had worked.
“Thank you.” He whispered, raking his fingers through the sleeping boys hair. “Thank you for being the one thing in my life that I know will never change.”
Lukas drifted to sleep soon after, completely disregarding the movie, the time, his phone, or his cup of coffee sitting on the table next to him.
He had all he needed right here.
They slept comfortably for the first time in a while. They slept like they were 9 again. Having a sleepover with no other care in the world than what dad was cooking for breakfast that morning.
In 2 or so hours Sage and Lucia would wake up to find the pair sprawled out on the couch. They would take a picture, laugh silently with eachother, and drape a blanket over the two before letting them rest more.
Lord knows they’ve needed this.