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Does anyone else feel a deep-seated pain of the world with unexplainable anger, sadness, etc.? I just feel like I hold so much deep inside me- I’m definitely one of those people (haha)- but I feel like it’s not even like I’m joking about this. I genuinely feel as though I keep my true sadnesses, and personal wins and losses to myself solely and I just feel really “emotionally homeless” if that makes sense.
Like, for me, I feel as though if you were to go through the list of people you would normally tell stuff about it’s really difficult to convey those feelings to those people.
First would obviously be your mom/dad, but I just feel like those are my parents, and 1., they’re more worried usually about… idk… raising me…. So to me, I don’t want to burden them with my own confused emotions or have them worry about one more thing. And my parents do the thing where they say they’re not ‘mad’ at me for telling them about something and I can tell they are literally VISIBLY bothered, and/or they complain all the time about how I stress them out, so why would I wanna tell you anything then??
Like I feel like they genuinely just dgaf about my problems idk LOL
And I don’t talk about stuff like that with school friends, or my closer friends, because I don’t see them often enough so I don’t want to worry them about something that will probably be resolved by the time I see them again.
OR- teachers??? Like who genuinely talks to their teachers??? Like I feel like they aren’t my friends it feels so wrong. And how would I even go about discussing that?
Part of me thinks that worrying about stuff like that is dumb, but at the same time, I understand that even though people say they don’t care about social rules like that, there are people who DO, whom you risk judgement from, and they’re always adults bro like it’s just not happening.
It just feels like such a non-universal experience to me so it feels stupid to say out loud. IDKKKKK
It just kinda makes me so inconsolable and makes me cry almost immediately so clearly something’s wrong with me in my soul and I have no clue what so i WILL be making it your problem as you read
I bet u all at some point will read some part of this (it will be updated once a day fyi!) and straight up question me
guys. i am most definitely undiagnosed and mentally fucking ill, and i do hella weed (like a 2g a week) so there is NO WAY my chemicals aren’t different now after like 3 months of daily use this summer.
anyway yeah u guys should listen to "Rib Cage" by Zoe Ko because that song is exactly how I fucking feel. like i just have no outlet and it really makes me sad
:(((