Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Celina hates silence.

Has hated them since she was little.

The eerie stillness of the space when every single sound disappears sends shivers down her spine.

Ever since Blanca died, taking her high-pitched giggles with her, Celina just.. couldn’t stand it.

That’s why she spent most of her nights over at Nolan and Bailey’s before Tamara, Lucy’s previous roommate, moved out and she was allowed to slip into the chaotic space her coworker and friend occupied, leaving silence behind.

Lucy wasn’t a bad roommate, quite the opposite actually. She bought things for Celina when she remembered, made her tea sometimes.

She was just.. Noisy. Bumping into furniture, always singing under her breath, constantly playing some show on the TV or her phone.

And Celina loved it.

There was always something, the uneasy feeling of silence barely ever falling over the small space they occupied together.

And living with Lucy always had an end date, Celina was well aware of that. Fitting into the tiny apartment with their future partners would be close to impossible without stepping all over each other.

However, finding herself in the situation only three years into them living together was just, unexpected.

Well, to be clear, not really unexpected.

After getting back together with Tim, their relationship quickly fell back into what it used to be—just healthier this time—and it was only a matter of time before Lucy came to her with barely concealed excitement and the news of her moving on her tongue.

Lucy was hesitant, Celina could tell that even the happiness couldn’t erase the worries still clouding her mind, however she trusted Tim and them moving in together was the next best step.

That’s how Celina found herself on a rainy morning on a Sunday, bittersweet feelings flooding through her heart as she gets ready for work and ready for saying goodbye to her best friend being her roommate.

The years they spent together in the shoebox of a apartment always felt like one big sleepover, sharing snacks on the couch while they watch their show and now, seeing Lucy moving on, Celina has to try hard to not feel like she’s being left behind.

Lucy is standing by the kitchen island, muttering under her breath as she searches through the cardboard box in front of her, checking she packed everything she needs for now.

A few of her knickknacks are still lying around—a hair clip, a fake plant, a book she never even opened—unimportant enough to wait until she comes to pick up the rest of her belongings.

”You got everything?” Celina huffs out, fingers tapping on the counter. The smooth material feels cool under her fingertips, Celina welcoming the slight shock to her system.

Lucy breathes out loudly, her face twisting, “I guess so? Honestly I can just come back later.”

”Just going to my apartment, uninvited? Rude.”

Lucy gasps out a laugh, hand moving to slap Celina’s shoulder. Celina expertly dodges her attack, snorting out a laugh as she grabs the water tank on their coffee machine to fill it with water.

Might as well make a thermos of coffee if she has to go out in this.

”I’m gonna come in on my day off and burn all your clothes,” Celina laughs, obviously not believing her as she presses the button on the machine, steam immediately escaping with a hiss as the liquid energy pours into the bottle already placed underneath.

It’s then when a knock echoes through the room, interrupting their bickering.

Celina swears she actually hears an echo from how empty it suddenly feels.

The furniture remains in the apartment, Tim’s house already filled, so there’s no real way for there to be an echo, however with Lucy’s stuff all neatly packed up in dozens of boxes and bags, it feels like it.

”You got everything?” Tim questions gently as he steps inside while his eyes flicker between the two of them, clearly waiting for one—or both—to burst into tears.

Lucy hums, grabbing the box she was just rummaging through, walking around the bar chairs to wrap an arm around Tim’s waist.

Celina just gazes at the two of them for a moment, feeling a swell of happiness in her heart.

The idea of living alone, Lucy suddenly a friend she has to schedule hanging out with, it pains her. However, seeing her friends so full of contentment is worth it.

Tim presses a gentle kiss to the crown of Lucy’s head, taking the box from her hands as he takes two steps back into the open doorway, “I’ll let you two, yeah.”

And with that he is gone, just as quickly as he came in, leaving an awkward Celina with a pitiful Lucy behind.

Lucy steps closer to her and before Celina can even blink, brings her into a tight hug. Celina startles a little at the sudden—not unwelcome—embrace, taking a second before she twists her own arms around Lucy in return.

”I’ll see you tomorrow at work, yeah?”

And with that she’s gone, mugs shaking as they usually do from the impact of the doors being slammed shut.

The goodbye feels meaningless and empty, however Celina knows what Lucy is trying to do. Stay as far away from making Celina break as she can.

Especially since she has a 12-hour shift at the station to get to.

Celina sighs, eyes once again following the whole room, suddenly feeling like she’s in a foreign apartment set up for display in the furniture store.

The only noise left behind is the faint hissing from the coffee machine as it finishes making her drink, turning off with a beep.

The uneasy feeling she used to have in her previous apartment returns, not nearly as strong, however she can feel the sharp sting it left in her soul.

The thermos feels warm in her hand as Celina picks it up, twisting the lid on before she tucks it into her already prepared bag

Celina suddenly feels all kinds of exhausted, the crave to just crawl back into her bed full of blankets and pillows almost unbearable.

Nevertheless, the time flickering under the TV shows that she only has half an hour to finish getting ready, postponing her desire to just sleep as well as, fortunately, delaying the need to face what is in front of her.

Or at least that’s what she thought when she was leaving the suddenly unhomey apartment she once felt cozy in.

Celina does feel dramatic for making such a big deal out of it.

It’s not like she’ll never see Lucy again!

They ride together more often than not, spending hours on end gossiping and laughing in the car. Weekly best friends’ hangouts were also promised in their crying session when Lucy first told her she’s moving, so Celina is unsure of what the problem is.

Or maybe she does.

Perhaps the promise of the silence engulfing her like it once used to makes her sick to her stomach.

The silence she left behind in her old apartment, the one she thought would never surround her again.

And although she knew her living situation with Lucy was always temporary, Celina simply just wasn’t prepared for loneliness the silence and absence of another human being brought.

“Celina!”

A sharp inhale fills Celina’s lungs with stale oxygen of the break room, her body going stiff in startle. Her tight grip around her empty coffee thermos gives out, metal sound ringing through the room as it clatters to the table.

Miles stands between the doorframe behind her, his eyes following her features with soft eyes, an easy smile etched on his face.

“You scared me, man!” Celina chuckles, picking up her abandoned thermos. She slides it under the coffee machine, pressing the faded button.

A snort escapes Miles’ lips as he circles the table to move next to her, hand gently patting her back in greeting, “I noticed, surprised you didn’t hit your head on the ceiling with how high you jumped.”

Celina throws her head back in a laugh, the worries haunting her the whole day suddenly moving to the back of her mind.

Her friendship with Miles hasn’t been that long, he’s only been in the station for close to two years, just getting promoted to P2 a few months ago, however his presence always seemed to put her at ease.

Their shared runs—once joined by Seth and later on Rodge before he left for tour—eventually turned into coffees in the park before he walked her home, shared lunch breaks and occasional drinks after shifts.

Lucy took a liking to mentioning Miles around her sometimes, smug smirk on her face provoking Celina into throwing a pillow at her every time.

Her excuse of having a boyfriend and Miles being just her coworker started to sound weak even to her after the tenth time she said it, the inability to hide her reddened face whenever the question about her possibly dating Miles left Lucy’s lips not helping her case one bit.

The relationship with Rodge might not be officially over, not yet at least, however the lack of communication from both parties shows a break up perhaps isn’t far off.

His dreams of being a worldwide superstar might sound inspirational and Celina was happy for him, nonetheless she was a cop. Unable to leave the city for longer periods of time as frequently as he’s gone, travelling around.

And to be frank, Celina doesn’t want to.

Being a cop is everything she’s wanted since being a kid, finding herself in helping random citizens in difficult situations.

Leaving to just, follow her boyfriend around tiny cities in Europe far from what she’d like to do with her time.

And although Celina would never cheat on Rodge—no matter how bad the relationship gets—her heart feels less and less attached as the days go by.

The two of them seriously need to have a conversation.

That’s also the reason Celina has been avoiding Miles a little, getting out of runs and hanging out with him easy as she had the excuse of helping Lucy with packing the past few weeks.

Distance would surely make the weird feeling in her chest when he was close by with his gentle expression leave.

“You okay there?” Miles, observant as ever, tilts his head, his face softening into a lazy smile. His dark eyes flicker around Celina’s face like he’s looking for answers to his question, familiar enough with her inability to ask for help.

Celina shrugs, taking the now full thermos into her hands to twist the lid back on, “yeah, just hate going out in this weather.”

Miles hums with a nod, looking over his shoulder as if he can see outside, the rain droplets running down the window. The sound of distant thunder can be heard even in the break room, Celina dreading the end of her break and another few hours in this.

“Hear that,” a snort escaped Miles’ lips, “to be clear, it might actually suck less than my.. house, so I don’t mind as much.”

Celina turns to him, noting the grimace on his face, “why don’t you come over? We haven’t hung out in a while and now that I have an entire apartment to myself..”

Her sentence trails off, waiting for his reaction.

“Really? That’d be awesome!” Miles chuckles, wide grin nearly splitting his face, “thank you, Celina! I’ll get us dinner before coming over.”

Celina gives his elbow a light squeeze before the two of them walk wordlessly out of the break room, steps steering them towards the garage to get back in their separate shops.

“Excited to have the apartment to yourself?” Miles breaks the silence as they leave the long hallway and find themselves in the bullpen, the space filled to the brim with cops.

Celina gives him a glance, “honestly? Not at all. I hate the silence of being the only living thing in there, makes my skin crawl.”

Something akin to recognition crosses Miles’ features for a moment before he gives her a smile, “I’ll be as loud as you need me to.”

Celina laughs out loud once again, her eyes closing, “you realise what that sounds like?”

“I realised as soon as it left my mouth,” Miles cringes, however his expression is still light, not minding the teasing from her.

By the time Celina finally quiets her giggles the pair already find themselves by their shops, Nolan involved in a heated debate with Harper close to one of them.

“Officer Penn,” Nolan addresses Miles as soon as he spots the two of them, “detective Harper just found an interest detail about our victim from the morning, let’s go.”

Miles, politely nodding, ready to obey although he technically doesn’t have to anymore, turns to Celina one last time, sending her another one of his charming smiles, “see you tonight.”

A nod is all Celina responds with, watching as he folds his tall body into the passenger seat, waving at her through the foggy window before the shop rolls swiftly out of the garage, splashing water around from the puddles everywhere.

The idea of going outside in this, getting absolutely drenched as she chases after a suspect and probably ends up with a runny nose and sore throat tomorrow does not sound appealing at all right now.

However, suddenly the prospect of going home tonight doesn’t seem so bad.

As the hot water runs down her back, Celina holds back the urge to groan out loud.

Her whole body feels sore and stiff, muscles she didn’t know existed suddenly berating her for daring to use them.

Celina’s routine after shift usually involves showering at home and then immediately changing to her pyjamas, ready to lounge around until the exhaustion of the day hits her enough for her to pass out.

Today, though, there’s no way she’s sitting around her guest in the cartoon dog pyjama set, the fabric close to falling apart with how worn it is.

Miles may have seen her in many different stages of being ready, however he doesn’t need to see that.

That’s why she’s currently standing under the spray of water in the locker room’s showers, washing away the layers of mud she managed to bath herself in for the past 14 hours.

It’s when she’s wrapping her towel around herself that her cracked phone buzzes, making her cringe at the memory of the nasty fall she suffered just a few hours ago.

Miles: should i wait for u and we ll go together

Miles: or i can pick up the food and meet u there

Celina raises her eyebrows, contemplating the options for a second before she types out her answer to him.

Me: i’m almost ready so you can wait

Me: i’ll get dressed and just grab my stuff

Miles doesn’t respond, just likes her message and sends her a blurry photo of the chairs in one of the hallways so she can find him.

It’s a habit they implemented after Celina spent 15 minutes looking for him in a park one time, completely missing a turn on the stupid trail.

Celina, despite her better judgment, bites down a smile, chest lighting up at him just waiting for her.

She really needs to have a conversation with Rodge.

The task of getting dressed back into the clothes she originally came in and grabbing all her stuff suddenly feels endless, Celina well aware of her friend waiting for her, disliking the feeling of making him just sit there.

And while it feels like an eternity to her, when she’s finally walking out, Miles—who Celina spots right away—doesn’t seem to mind.

“Cool jacket,” Miles grins as soon as she stands next to him, eyes following her before the two of them falling into comfortable pace next to each other as they make their way out.

Celina looks down at herself, momentarily forgetting what piece of fabric she even put on just a few minutes ago, stumbling over her words, “oh, um, thanks! It’s the only one I have that gets drenched in 10 seconds instead of 5.”

Miles laughs, gentlemanly opening the door for her as they step into the garage, their steps echoing loudly through the hollow basement.

“My car is right there!” Celina points towards the old car, one of the only ones left anyway.

As they’re making their way over to the car, Miles absentmindedly tugs on the strap of his bag on his shoulder, “what would you like for dinner? I was thinking pizza but honestly at this point my stomach would take just about anything.”

“I’d love pizza. The greasier the better,” Celina hums, the idea of the cheesy circle of deliciousness making her stomach growl.

Their journey to the pizza place next to Tesco, the one they visited countless of times already, stays in relative silence, only an occasional question from one of them towards the other about their shifts breaks it.

The low sound of Celina’s playlist playing fills the space enough, both content to just sit and relax after a stressful day.

“I’ll run to the store real quick, just get me the usual one,” Miles grins at Celina when she stops the car at the closest possible parking spot to the run there easier, already unbuckling.

He eyes Celina, seemingly waiting for her approval as if he needs it.

“Alright, just find me when you’re done,” Celina can feel her face twist into a tired smile, absentmindedly following the slope of Miles’ nose before she finds his eyes.

Miles reaches over, confusing Celina for a second before he presses a twenty into her hand still resting on the gear stick and before she has any chance to protest leaves the car.

His figure takes off abnormally fast into the store for how tired he looks, leaving Celina behind.

Dread fills her whole body, suddenly wanting to do anything but get back into the downpour when she’s all nice and comfortable in the warm car.

She should have asked Miles to get the pizza as well, always the people pleaser, who would get it without a single complaint. Yet Celina couldn’t bring herself to do it, putting him into an uncomfortable situation leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

After Celina wills herself to get out into the rainy weather and orders the two pizzas Miles and her like, she finds herself thinking back to the car ride.

Celina doesn’t like silence.

It was all she’s been thinking about since the morning, what she’s been thinking for the past few weeks ever since Lucy started packing up her stuff.

Nevertheless, just sitting in the car with Miles felt, nice.

Comforting.

Sure, it wasn’t fully quiet, there was the general buzz of the city, of the old engine, mumble of the music. However it was enough to make her uncomfortable more often than not.

Those background noises were never enough to make her forget about the shivers running down her spine when she just sat and absorbed.

Not with him, though.

His rhythmic inhales and exhales, occasional sniffles or shuffling around in the passenger seat felt like it belonged there. Like it’s always been there.

And Celina didn’t know what to think about that feeling swirling around in her belly.

“I’m back,” Celina swiftly turns towards the sound of Miles’ voice behind her, shaking her head with a snort.

“You really have to make me nearly jump out of my skin every time you see me, huh?”

Miles grins with a wink, perhaps a little sheepishly, as he pats her back gently, “not on purpose, miss Celina.”

“Don’t know about that,” Celina fights against the urge to lean into the hand previously occupying her back for a moment, the warmth of Miles’ palm pleasant.

“Order for Celina?” The bored teenager—clearly wanting to be anywhere else than here—calls out, holding out the two boxes in his arms.

Celina just about forces her stiff legs to move when she feels the figure next to her step forward, Miles taking the warm cardboards into his hands.

“C’mon, you look like you’re gonna fall over in a little bit,” Miles exclaims, amused smile etched on his face. A completely unnecessary arm is placed around her as if Miles is actually worried she might fall asleep while walking, however she won’t complain.

The feeling of being taken care of feels nice.

Rodge is not much for it, enjoying the pampering of having an independent woman for his girlfriend. Celina the one who protects him more than he does her, her training fascinating to him.

Not that she needs it.

Celina is capable of taking care of herself, has done so for a while.

Nonetheless, feeling someone taking the lead, silently promising the safety without her being on guard, just calms her in a way she wasn’t expecting.

Or perhaps it might have something to do with Miles himself, safe enough to her to completely let her guard down without even thinking about it.

Because perhaps there’s a reason she’s never felt like this with Rodge.

“I’ll drive, if you don’t mind,” Miles breaks the silence momentarily falling over them again, “you really look like you’re about to fall asleep any second now.”

Celina tries to smile, blearily blinking up at him, “sure, you’re a good driver.”

The sudden exhaustion completely taking over her confused Celina, not used to close to crashing before she even sits down at home, hating when she’s not in her pyjamas if she ever falls asleep.

“Well, thank you,” Miles chuckles, gently pushing her towards the glass door full of fingertip smudges with his free hand, “just run towards the passenger side, alright?”

Celina hums in agreement, eyes focused on the blurry image of her car through the window.

Miles’ expression looks competitive, the man appearing to be racing her to the car without even telling her and Celina feels a rush of energy go through her when she notices, her winning streak refusing to end.

The sudden opening of the door and Celina’s rushing figure by him startles Miles, yelling out an offended hey! after her, trying his hardest to catch up to her with full hands and a late start.

Celina, obvious winner of the imaginary race, exhales loudly as she collapses down into the passenger seat previously occupied by Miles as soon as she unlocks the car, head resting on the soft material of the headrest.

The door next to her open shortly after, Miles quickly tucking himself behind the wheel to get out of the rain, “you cheated.”

A loud laugh escapes Celina’s lips, her eyes on his grumpy expression, “we never agreed to race. I just saw your confidence in beating me and I had to show you who’s the better runner.”

Miles just grumbles, although a hint of smile shows on the corners of his mouth. The pizza boxes he was previously holding are suddenly placed on Celina’s lap, the warmth the food providing a nice contrast to the drenched fabric.

A white bag Celina hasn’t noticed before is placed behind the driver’s seat before Miles buckles himself in, the material obscuring her view of what he actually went in for in the first place.

The question of what he got is on her tongue, however Miles starting the car and expertly pulling out of the parking lot is enough to distract her, her head instead turning to gaze out of the window.

The glass is foggy, making things barely recognisable from the inside but Celina doesn’t mind.

Just watching the dark streets drenched by rain is relaxing enough.

“Are you working tomorrow?”

Celina turns towards Miles, who only casts her a quick glance before concentrating on the slippery road again, giving Celina a chance to just watch him.

“Uh, yeah,” Celina clears her throat, turning back towards the window, “one last shift before two day off!”

Miles chuckles, making one last turn into the street Celina lives in, “I have two more and then same. Feels like Christmas is coming early.”

Celina huffs out a laugh of agreement, unbuckling as soon as Miles safely stops on her usual spot he somehow remembers.

The two of them swiftly make their way inside the building, the last few steps nearly killing Celina as she slips in a puddle and stumbles into an unsuspecting Miles, however neither of them fall and before they know it, they’re taking off their drenched jackets inside the apartment.

“Let me just put them in the shower, don’t want to have a puddle by the door.”

Celina grabs the offered dripping piece of clothing from him, feeling the warmth from Miles’ body heat still inside.

They end up tossed into the open shower in the bathroom, just a mesh of drenched mess on the bottom of it.

”I, uh, I got you this,” a voice behind Celina startles her into nearly falling into the shower herself, preoccupied by thinking of what even just the intertwined fabric of her and Miles’ jackets does to her traitor heart.

Miles is standing behind her, sheepish look on his face as he sees Celina jump from startle once again, for like the tenth time today because of him. He’s dressed in just jeans and a t-shirt, an outfit Celina has seen on him a million times, however it feels different this time.

It looks far more home-like than it ever did, clothes he could lounge around in on his day off.

It’s when she shakes off her checking out of his clothing that she notices why he even came into the bathroom in the first place.

Celina’s eyes slide towards the items in his hands, the bag she was previously curious about suddenly pooling around a..

A plant with pink flowers and a smiley face drawn on the pot.

Celina is frozen for a second, unsure of what to say as she gazes at the tiny thing in Miles’ hands, apparently a gift for her.

“You said you don’t like being the only living thing in here,” Miles mumbles lowly, eyes never leaving the plant, “sure, it’s not Lucy but..”

His sentence trails off, giving Celina another moment to try to figure out how to breathe again.

The annoying stinging in her eyes that’s been present for the past few hours is not from exhaustion this time, unshed tears lining her bottom eyelid.

“Thank you,” Celina says finally, voice somewhat croaky as she stumbles towards him with her palms outstretched. Miles gently places the pot in her hands, his warm skin brushing against Celina’s sending a shiver down her spine.

And it’s definitely not from the cold this time.

Miles himself doesn’t seem to understand how big this feels to Celina, his efforts to make her time living here alone more comfortable seemingly insignificant and forgettable to him, not to Celina though.

He just picked up a flower for her, a nice thing to do for a friend. That’s all it really is to Miles, Celina thinks.

However, he will never be able to understand what this small thing does to her.

“Now,” Miles breaks Celina’s train wreck of a thought process and the deafening silence around them as he rubs his hands together, “let’s have some pizza. I’m starving.”

Celina feels her whole body shake with a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief, “only you, Miles, only you.”

They move over to the couch, Miles folding open the already soggy pizza boxes as Celina just stands uselessly to the side with her new flower in hands.

After a quick run to her room to place the pot there, Celina grabs two places before collapsing into the cushion next to Miles, “there you go.”

Miles mutters out a quiet thank you as he in return hands Celina the TV remote, watching as she swiftly finds Netflix.

“What are we watching?”

And as they’re sitting on the couch, their clothed bodies occasionally brushing through the fabric as one of them reaches for another slice of pizza, Celina can’t help but think about how cozy it is.

Sure, she’s hung out alone with Miles before, especially their runs that eventually turned out to be just the two of them.

Never in this setting though.

Never have they sat together, no words flooding between them as they just relax, at home of all places, eyes focused on some crime documentary on Netflix as they stuff themselves full of greasy pizza.

Lucy was always there, if they managed to find themselves here, making the atmosphere into something completely different.

Not bad, just more energetic as she always loudly commented the show they were watching.

Completely different than to what it feels like now.

“You want to stay the night?” Celina finds herself saying before she even thinks about it, head turning towards Miles’ body awkwardly stuffed into the corner of the couch, “better than me driving you home in this, yeah?”

Miles grins at her, the smile bright against his over all tired expression, “that’d be lovely, thanks Celina.”

The show finishes in a few more minutes, the two of them getting up almost immediately as they’re clearly very ready for bed.

While Miles takes his time getting ready and changing in the bathroom Celina prepares the couch, making use of the dozens of blankets and pillows they’ve gathered over the years.

Celina can’t help but notice how in sync they are without even talking about it, both somehow falling into a comfortable routine with who’s going to the bathroom first (Miles) or who’s washing the dishes (also Miles).

And as Celina finds herself in bed an hour later, just saying good night to Miles a few moments ago as he was already tucked comfy under the blankets, she can’t help but gaze at the pretty pot Miles gave her just a few hours ago, feeling the already familiar sensation in her chest.

Oh, she’s in deep trouble.

Chapter Text

”I think we should break up.”

Celina blearily blinks into the blurry room—her eyes barely open—unsure of what day it even is as she scrambles to a sit.

“Wait, what?” Escapes Celina’s dry lips, her unoccupied hand running through her tangled hair, “Rodge?”

A sigh can be heard from the other side, Celina unable to say if it’s more tired or nervous, “c’mon, don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking about it, too.”

Celina can’t say she hasn’t, however Rodge springing this up on her out of nowhere still shocks her to the core, especially as she quite literally just woke up.

“We haven’t seen each other in months, we text like two times a day, call once a week—if that,” Rodge is ranting away, ignoring Celina’s silence, “I really care about you. But this just doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore.”

Rodge pauses his disaster of a speech, either running out of breath or perhaps giving Celina a chance to speak, however she remains frozen, no words forming.

Break up with Rodge has been on her list of to do for a few weeks now, making this a conversation she’s been expecting.

The speech she herself has been preparing this whole time, explaining to him why they need to break up, sounds vaguely similar to what he just said and yet it still feels like something so strange.

“I-,” Celina clears her throat, voice still croaky from not being used for hours, “yeah, I feel the same.”

Rodge lets out an exhale, probably in relief at not having to fight with her, “I’m happy we can agree on that, then.”

An awkward silence falls over the call, Celina holding her breath as her eyes dart around the room, her heart beating loudly in her chest.

She can feel how warm her cheeks are, the whole situation incredibly uncomfortable.

“Is that all?” Celina internally cringes at what just came out of her mouth, the insensitive sentence a sharp slap to her own face, “I mean, I don’t think there’s anything else we need to say.”

“Ah, yeah. Guess not. I guess I’ll see you when I come back home? To—you know—pick up my stuff from your place. And to bring you yours.”

“Yeah; see you, Rodge,” Celina mumbles, voice close to a whisper when she hears the familiar beeping, the call disconnecting.

Her phone gets dropped into the ruffled blankets around her, Celina staying in her hunched position. There is certain stinging in her eyes, the desire to cry present but not strong enough to win.

Celina wanted this.

That’s what keeps playing on repeat in her mind, although it doesn’t quite sooth the sudden pain in her heart.

Breaking up with Rodge has been on her mind for a while and yeah, she might have not been planning it over the phone, preferring to have such a serious conversation in person instead but now it was done.

There was no need to worry about it anymore, Rodge doing it for her, as insensitive as it may have been.

He’s always been blunt, it was clear enough from the kind of music that he made.

At the start of their relationship Celina found it mostly endearing, however it started being an issue after a while when he became the villain of the Mid-Wilshire station after he insulted half of them in the bullpen.

So, this was for the best.

Celina was more than aware of that.

And Rodge was right about one thing, this barely felt like a relationship anymore. She hasn’t seen him in months, this break up phone call one after close to three weeks of not hearing him. Their text few and far between.

The reality of it, though, doesn’t make it hurt any less.

It was still a relationship, one she invested a lot of time and feelings into.

And although there was never really any real future for the two of them, Celina realising that a few months into them dating, she still really cared about him.

Loved him, even. At some point at least.

A loud groan fills the silent room, Celina throwing her body back into the messy bed.

What a way to start the day.

Celina is unsure of how much time passes as she just stares at her ceiling, thoughts running wild enough to occupy her.

It’s only 7:24 when she does finally snap out of her trance like state, nonetheless her morning run with Miles is coming up and if she wants to make it on time in a more relaxed manner, she should get up just about now.

That, though, is the last thing she’d want right now.

She wants to go running, the idea of the sport and talking with Miles seems distracting enough, however she really just wants to stay in bed now.

And preferably call Lucy to rant away and eat her weight in ice cream.

Celina looks around for a moment, feeling the sting of tears again in her eyes, rubbing her face with one of her palms.

Lucy surely wouldn’t mind a call at this hour as she might be already getting ready for her shift and while Tim might, that’s his own issue.

Celina ponders if she should call or on, finger hovering over the phone button on Lucy’s contact in her phone.

But before she knows it, her fingertip meets her sensitive display, the grey background of a phone call with Lucy’s number and name written on top appearing on her screen.

“Celina? Everything okay?” A sleepy voice sounds through the speaker of Celina’s phone after a few rings, shuffling following.

“Ah, yeah? Yes. Just, can you talk right now?”

Celina can hear more shuffling and a male voice, Tim waking up from her call as well. She will never hear the end of it.

“Sure? It’s just very early, I’m kind of confused? You’re usually asleep on your days off, is everything alright?” Lucy hums, voice clearer now that she stopped shuffling around, perhaps sitting up.

“Don’t know how to say it,” Celina murmurs, tugging on her hair absentmindedly, “Rodge broke up with me?”

“Hold up,” Lucy pauses, voice getting louder, “the guy you wanted to break up with for like a month now, broke up with you?”

“He called me and just like, sprung it on me. Like right now, woke me up actually.”

Lucy scoffs, “I never liked him, I just knew this’d happen. Over the phone as well, unbelievable. What an asshole.”

Celina laughs, already feeling slightly better only minutes into speaking with her best friend, “no, no, it’s good. It’s better this way. Maybe I’d never get around to actually doing it and then we’d end up married or something.”

“Thank God you didn’t,” Lucy mumbles under her breath, Celina guessing she wasn’t really supposed to hear, “are you really feeling okay? Do you want me to come over?”

Celina shakes her head, well aware of the fact that Lucy can’t really see her, “no, it’s fine. I’ll just watch some TV and eat the chocolate ice cream I bought last week.”

The fact that Miles is the one who bought it for her because he saw her eying it once doesn’t get mentioned.

“I was supposed to go on a run with Miles but,” Celina pauses, breathing out, “guess I’ll call to cancel. I’m not really feeling up for that today.”

“Ooh, your run with Miles,” Lucy aahs teasingly—whole tone suddenly shifting—making Celina immediately roll her eyes with a barely suppressed smile, “and getting coffee with a hot sweaty guy, look at you.”

“Girl, I literally got broken up with like ten minutes ago, I’m not looking at some guy,” Celina laughs, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Miles is not just some guy,” Lucy scoffs, laughing when Tim mumbles something in a background, “he’s like a smitten puppy when it comes to you, no random guy would be doing all that.”

Celina has to agree, although she doesn’t voice it to Lucy directly.

Miles always showing up, somehow remembering everything she says and bending over backwards whenever it comes to her shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Celina certainly doesn’t take it for granted, thanking him whenever she can, the thought of him barely slipping her mind.

“Seriously, though, Celina. Don’t cancel on him. It’ll do you good to go spend some time outside, running. Miles also hardly shuts up, I’m sure he’ll distract you.”

Celina is about to answer when she hears a squeal from Lucy, eyebrows raising, “go on that run with him, do not cancel. He’d be unbearable tomorrow, sulking all day if you don’t go.”

A laugh bubbles out of her chest, Tim’s playful threat bringing her joy. He might have finished Miles’ training a few months ago now, however the two of them still ride together surprisingly often.

Tim might never admit it but he does think of Miles as a very capable cop, trusting him to have his back at all times.

And although Miles still sometimes seems incredibly intimidated by the older man, their gradual bonding over shared interest in football made them something close to friends.

Tim would never say it but all of them see it.

“Yes, parents. I will go, jeez,” Celina rolls her eyes playfully, a smirk playing on her face, “you’re unbelievable.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah, girl?” Lucy’s voice comes back on, softer than a few moments ago, “we’ll get some chocolate and complain about men in the shop.”

Celina just shares her agreement, ending the call as soon as Lucy squeals again, aware of the fact that she doesn’t want to hear what happens next at their house.

She briefly looks around her room, the space suddenly making her feel claustrophobic as she rushes to get up, steps leading her towards the couch on which she wraps herself in Miles’ blanket.

Of course only because that’s the one placed closest to her.

When Celina finally rolls out of her makeshift cocoon on the couch in the early afternoon, her heart feels slightly better, no longer an open wound in her chest.

Lucy’s phone call definitely helped in theory, although it did remind her of how much she actually missed having her only one door away.

Celina’s—nearly a daily occurrence nowadays—run with Miles did get postponed to the same afternoon, ever the understanding Miles immediately offering to move it to a later time rather than cancelling it all together after she first brought it up.

She may not have planned to actually go, however Lucy was convincing.

The weather outside is nice, thankfully not adding to Celina’s already dampened mood, gently caressing her skin with warm light as she gets dressed into her running clothes.

It’s when she’s done tying her sneakers that Celina pauses, hip resting against the counter as she leans against it.

Miles texted her a few minutes ago, saying that he’s already on his way, giving Celina just enough time to have a moment to think, not that she hasn’t had a lot of those already today.

Just the idea of seeing Miles seems to brighten her a day a bit, the dark cloud surrounding her mind torn up by streaks of sunlight peaking through.

Going outside was something she’d be dreading today, really just wanting to stay in bed, wolf down a tub of her favourite ice cream and binge a season of some show.

When Miles originally called after her first text full of excuses—explaining why she unfortunately has to cancel their run today—Celina planned on just asking him to leave her be.

However, when she heard his voice all worried, promises of bringing her soup to make her sore throat feel better spilling from his lips, Celina felt herself melt and before she knew it, the truth was coming out.

Miles, always so sweet, apologised and seemed ready to back off but Celina couldn’t stand that and suggested postponing it.

She wanted to go on their run.

Miles, surprisingly enough, seems like the only constant in her life recently.

Lucy moved out, not only changing their whole friendship, but also Celina’s whole living situation. Now she’s broken up with Rodge.

And through every change, Miles is just right there.

Off to the side, with his gentle smile asking her ridiculous questions in that dumb southern drawl of his just to make her laugh.

Celina decides not to think about what this could mean, to him or to her.

A knock on the door sounds through the room only moments later, thankfully breaking her confusing train of thoughts.

One of things she shouldn’t have been thinking about in the first place.

“Hey!”

Miles grins at her happily as soon as she opens the door, his attitude bright.

He looks unwilling to bring up what she told him earlier today unless she does, nosiness pushed as far down as it goes, although Celina can see some curiosity peaking through in his dark eyes.

“Hello, Miles,” Celina smiles back at him, briefly stepping to the side to let him in. She still has a few things to pick up and he doesn’t need to just stand in the hallway.

Celina takes a sip of her water, moving over to her bedroom to swiftly grab her sport jacket, “you ready to go?”

Getting out of the doors and locking is quick enough and before they know it, the two of them are jogging side by side down the familiar path over to the park.

No words are exchanged between them for a few minutes, only sounds of their feet hitting the pavement and their heavy breathing around them.

“You wanna talk?”

Celina casts a quick glance over at Miles who’s looking ahead, a sigh escaping her lips, “don’t know how to really articulate what I’m feeling right now.”

“Doesn’t have to make sense, just speak about your feelings. I know you need to let it out.”

A laugh bubbles out of Celina’s chest, eyes crinkling up, “I do need to rant, you’re right.”

Celina hesitates for a moment, not used to really spilling all her feelings with Miles of all people; endless ranting was an exclusive just for Lucy as her best friend.

Lucy, however, is currently saving the world somewhere on her shift, too busy to really listen to Celina just complaining and Miles, who’s heard enough of her rants as it is, seems prepared enough.

That’s how Celina finds herself spilling out basically every minuscule emotion that’s been clouding her mind for the better part of today, words flowing out of her mouth without a second thought.

Confusing as the thought process may be—even to Celina herself—Miles looks like he understands, humming when appropriate, not interrupting a single time as he lets Celina just rant on.

“How long have you been together?”

Celina blinks, not expecting Miles to ask anything just as she’s opening her mouth to continue, “well, about a year and a half but honestly, I’d call it a year. I have nothing against long distance relationships, I believe they can work, however we barely even spoke the last six months.”

Miles hums in acknowledgment, not speaking as he expects Celina to continue.

“What we had was barely a relationship anymore, I hate to prove Tim right but honestly, he was correct when it came to us.”

Miles laughs loudly, making Celina smile up at him, “unfortunately, I gotta agree. Happened to me too, although I tried to deny it.”

A moment of silence falls over them, both clearly thinking of how obvious the end of the relationship was, Celina’s clearly more recent however she guesses it still is a sore spot for Miles.

“It’s just, it’s not even the break up itself,” Celina groans, lungs burning as she exhales, “I wanted to break up, was planning it for like a month now. But it somehow still hurts, you know? And that confuses me.”

Miles is huffing next to her, beads of sweat lining his forehead, “I get that, I felt the same way when we broke up with Camilla.”

Celina looks up at him briefly, not used to him bringing up his childhood girlfriend, “was it mutual?”

“Yeah, I realised being in love with her was a part of my past I left behind in Texas and she wanted to stay there. She didn’t belong here, as much as I wanted her to at one point.”

A hum escapes Celina’s lips—a brief silence falling over them—only the sound of their shoes hitting the pavement heard.

“The fact that you’re not in love anymore doesn’t make it sting any less. It’s still an end of something,” Miles smiles gently as they slow down to a walk, the coffee stand they frequent just a few steps away.

“I know, I know, it just.. Sucks.”

Miles looks down at Celina’s grimace, a light chuckle escaping him as he soothingly pats her back, “let’s go get you some coffee, yeah? That’s bound to make you feel better!”

Celina grumbles under her breath however she follows his lead as he steps closer, a crumpled ten dollar bill suddenly in his hand, “it’s my turn to pay, don’t even try it.”

“Take it as a gift for your broken heart.”

A snort is all that can be heard before Miles slows to a halt, mouth open as he gets ready to name out all the details of Celina’s preferred coffee.

Celina still can’t believe Miles remembers her exact order off the top of his head, like he’s written it there personally.

No words flow between them as they wait, only a synchronised thank you before they depart from the stand, both clearly preoccupied with thinking once again.

Their steps steer them towards the already familiar bench that is somehow always empty when they come by, as if waiting for them to just relax, no matter the time or day.

“It’ll get better,” Celina turns towards Miles, taking minuscule sip of her coffee not to burn her tongue, “it takes a little but.. It does. Your heart will heal.”

Heartfelt conversations were never really a thing between them, Miles clearly not one to open up like that too often, so his little confession surprises her.

“I know,” Celina hums, watching as Miles slightly turns towards her, “and to be honest, I wanted it. I truly did. It just surprised me how much it just, hit me, you know?”

Miles smiles, head tilted as his eyes follow Celina’s features, “I do.”

Celina grins back at him, sipping her coffee nonchalantly before she focuses on him again, “good talk, bro.”

A surprised laugh escapes Miles as he throws his head back, his coffee cup sitting on the bench next to his thigh nearly toppling over from his sudden movement.

Their conversation lightens after that, slipping into the usual bickering about nonsense.

The sun is already playing all shades of orange and pink in the sky when they get up, Miles gentlemanly going the extra few steps to throw away the paper cups they previously drank from.

“You wanna run back or we’re walking?”

After Celina confirms that walking is fine, they fall into a comfortable pace side by side, their shadows illuminated in front of them.

“Is living alone any better? It’s been like three weeks, gotta be used to it now, no?”

Miles has been avoiding bringing it up, Celina could tell, however he’s been keeping her company whenever he can without being too obnoxious about it.

“I guess in a way? I got used to being there alone,” Celina looks up at him briefly, feeling her cheeks heat up, “not really alone, Mario is keeping me company.”

Miles laughs in surprise, eyes wide as he looks at her with a grin, “Mario?“

“Do you have something against my plant being called Mario, Miles?”

“It’s just unexpected, I was thinking something like Daisy or something.”

Celina has to stop for a moment as she bursts into giggles, body leaning forward, “it’s not even a daisy, why would that be his name!”

“It’s a flower name!”

“Like that makes it any better! Never name anything ever again, you’d probably call your puppy Cat or something.”

Miles gasps, hand dramatically coming to rest on his chest, “you wound me, Celina, you truly do.”

Celina slaps him playfully over the chest, finally getting their steps to continue down the path towards her apartment.

“Thank you again, though, it really made me feel better,” Celina softly smiles at him, focusing her gaze back on the landscape in front of her rather than staring at Miles, something that’s been happening increasingly more often lately.

“Got nothing to thank me for, I’m happy that Daisy helped.”

“Mario!” Celina laughs again, “you want to stay over again?”

Miles—just as Celina predicted—agrees, his stay over at the apartment nothing new as he’s been sleeping over quite often.

This time, however, he doesn’t follow Celina inside immediately, excusing himself after he watches her walk safely into the building, slipping away, back into the already darkened city.

Celina is unsure of why he decided to leave to shower back home today, a perfectly normal shower present in the apartment, one he’s used countless of times at this point.

However she won’t complaint, happy to get the apartment to herself for a bit before he gets back, giving her just enough time to make herself look like a human being again.

After stripping out of her sweaty clothes, Celina takes a very quick shower, the water barely even warmed up before she’s already jumping out.

It won’t take long before Miles is back, hungry after their run as usual and ready to order some junk, however Celina has a plan today.

She is not much of a cook, nevertheless she decides to put some very easy pasta with a tomato sauce together, preferring to stand by the stove instead of getting lost in overthinking again anyway. It also feels nice to give back to Miles in whatever small ways she can, just like making him homemade dinner.

The vegetables she purchased under the pretence of having a healthy lunch at work for once are already more than ready to eat, as if waiting for this exact moment of Celina’s decision to cook.

The pasta only takes a few short minutes before they’re already being strained, resting under the lid to not get cold while Celina prepares the rest.

Some store-bought tomato sauce is heating up in its separate pot—Celina not above buying it instead of making one from scratch—while she cuts up bunch of different kinds of vegetables, praying they taste good together in the random salad she just created.

All the food looks surprisingly tasty, Celina proud as she places the bowls and pots on the table, the image warming her heart as it reminds her of home.

And as if sensing food is being served, Miles knocks on the door just as she’s turning the stove off once the sauce is hot enough.

“You were cooking?” Celina can hear the delight in his voice, Miles being the biggest food lover she’s ever seen.

“It’s not much.”

“Oh, no, no,” Miles protests, swiftly taking off his jacket before he goes to place his overnight bag near the couch, “it’s amazing! You didn’t have to make anything but look at you, turning into a little cook.”

Celina notices how he always takes the couch, not once complaining that there is a perfectly usable bed in the room next to it, one that’s actually made just for him because Lucy is more than ready to hand it over.

Miles wordlessly folds his tall body into the tiny couch every time he sleeps over, eyes never once even straying over to the slightly ajar door Lucy left a few weeks ago, even though he’s technically sleeping over only because he knows Celina dislikes being here on her own.

It’s for her and she can’t even give him the bed.

Celina is unsure of what the problem is, why it feels so difficult to just tell him to sleep there, have his own space in an apartment he doesn’t really need one in, although it feels like he belongs in here just as much as Celina does.

Or maybe she does.

Lucy has been gone for close to a month now and although even the apartment is now in Celina’s name, letting Miles in, changing the room to his liking feels like erasing Lucy.

“Let’s eat, yeah?”

Celina fills both of their plates to the brim—they’re both clearly starving—as Miles prepares the table quietly next to her, their figures dancing wordlessly around each other as they get ready for dinner, Celina once again noticing how effortlessly they work together.

“Oh and!” Miles suddenly stops, startling Celina into looking at him instead of the plates she’s placing on the table.

His steps move him back over to the bag he previously left by the couch, kneeling next to it as he briefly rummages through it, looking for something.

It takes him only a moment before he’s standing back up, something in his hands behind his back.

“I got something for you!”

Celina raises her eyebrows, a grin brightening her face, “a gift? For what?”

“Take it as a break up gift, kind of make you feel better thing,” Miles smiles, taking a step closer to her, hands still hidden behind him with the unknown item Celina is increasingly more curious about as the seconds go by.

“I thought the coffee today was a break up gift?” Celina laughs, copying Miles’ movement in stepping closer.

“Are you saying you don’t want it?”

“Oh, no, no!” Celinq quickly shakes her head, extending her arms expectantly, “there’s no such thing as too many gifts.”

“Thought so,” Miles doesn’t say anything else, just moves his arm to be able to place the box in Celina’s palms.

It takes a moment for Celina to register what he just handed to her, eyebrows furrowed as she turns it around.

“Is this a speaker?” Leaves Celina’s lips as soon as she reads the words around the box, still turning it around in her hands.

“Yeah, it’s kind of stupid but..,” Miles pauses, eyes not meeting Celina’s as he scratches his neck, “you said yours is broken and, you hate the silence here so. A speaker definitely helps.”

Celina doesn’t know what to say as she just stares at the still packed device, shaking her head lightly at Miles, “it’s not stupid.”

Her voice is kind of breathless, mind clouded by the incredible man in front of her.

Getting her a speaker may seem like a little thing and perhaps it is, however the reason why her got it for her isn’t.

Miles, always so careful to listen to what she’s saying, took a note of her complaining about her broken speaker, unable to just drown out the silence with her music anymore.

Not only did he remember, he then went and bought one for her because he knows Celina’s terrible with spending money.

And now he’s here, standing in front of her sheepishly, looking ten times smaller than his tall stature really is, making Celina’s heart nearly explode in her chest.

Celina doesn’t know how to make him understand her gratitude, opting to instead wrap around him in a tight hug. Miles freezes for a second, however he takes only a moment before returning the embrace.

The warm arms around her make Celina feel giddy inside, enjoying the hug in ways she shouldn’t.

Sue her for liking hugging with another human being when she’s been in a long distance relationship for months and recently also living alone.

“Thank you, Miles,” voicing her thanks doesn’t feel like enough, nevertheless it’s the best she can do right now.

Miles only rubs her back gently, not responding to her sentence with words, only squeezing her in his arms.

“Let’s actually go eat now.”

Celina can feel Miles laugh against her before he lets go, goosebumps suddenly erupting all over her skin when he does.

She refuses to acknowledge if it’s from the cold air of the apartment or from the intimate hug they just shared.

The food is far from hot when they both actually get to dig in, though neither complains as their stomach hardly care.

A light conversation floods between them as they share the dinner, clinking of the dishes the only consistent sound of the room.

“Thank you for the dinner, Celina,” Miles grins at her just as they finish eating, dirty plates lining up the table, ready to be washed, “I could get used to this.”

Both get up, collecting all the items on the table to move them over to the sink to clean them up.

Celina looks over at him with a smile, “you should be the one cooking for me, though, you’re always raving about your barbecue skills and I haven’t even tried your cooking yet!”

Miles places all of the plates in the sink before he turns to her, a suddenly excited expression on his face, “that’s an amazing idea! Next time then?”

For a second they just grin at each other, standing still next to the sink of dishes ready to be washed. Celina feels her eyes flicker around Miles’ face, burning to memory all the little details, from every line to every freckle.

“I wash, you dry?”

They work as a team, the mundane tasks suddenly not as boring and endless as they usually feel to Celina, doing it together making all of it pass quicker.

After the apartment looks spotless, Celina unsure if she’s even in the same one—Miles cleans up surprisingly well—they both collapse on the couch, new episode of the show they started a few days ago playing on the TV.

It doesn’t last long as it is quite late and both have to get up early to get to their morning shift, so after Celina has to force her eyes to open for the hundredth time, the TV gets turned off.

They each take their turn in the bathroom, Miles already owning a toothbrush that found its home in the cup placed on the sink and Celina refuses to talk about it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Miles turns to her from where he’s sipping on his water by the counter, eyes following Celina’s face, “good night!”

Miles just hums in reply, hand coming to gently caress Celina’s shoulder before she turns to leave, leaving her door slightly ajar.

Celina doesn’t know why she does it when he’s around—usually closing her door all the way—however she likes listening to Miles shuffle around, the gentle rustling and his calm breathing lulling her to sleep.

Celina hates how peaceful he makes her feel.

Chapter Text

Celina figured out she was doomed a few weeks after her break up with Rodge.

Unsurprisingly, barely anything changed after they did break up, only the few texts she sent him throughout the day disappeared. Otherwise, her days remained basically the same.

The faint shuffling and humming coming from Miles moving around in the living room wakes her up more often than not nowadays, the man unofficially becoming her roommate the past few weeks.

Later, after Celina forces herself to roll out of bed, they share breakfast, Miles rushing to get back home right after as he, you know, doesn’t live here and doesn’t have all his stuff here and they both need to get to their shift soon, their schedules mostly in sync.

Celina spends her time at work mostly with Lucy, the two of them becoming partners most days as they work great as a team.

It helps a bit as they obviously don’t spend as much time together outside of work as they used to—Lucy living like twenty minutes away from her—so Celina welcomes their shared rides whenever she’s blessed with them.

And then finally, after work is over and she’s free for the day, she either has her weekly dinner at Nolan and Bailey’s, hangs out with Lucy or—surprise, surprise—spends time with Miles. Be it at the apartment, just having drinks, running, it’s just something to do with him.

Doesn’t really matter what they do since as the time went on of them hanging out, they really just do anything to spend time around each other.

And that’s where she messed up, perhaps.

Spending her days with someone like Miles; someone so thoughtful and kind, someone sweet to a fault who remembers everything Celina even offhandedly mentions, was dangerous.

And Celina should have been expecting it.

Miles is annoyingly handsome, she has obviously noticed—just as all the women of Mid-Wilshire had, would have to be blind to miss it really, however lately she found herself staring more often than before, more often than she’d like to honestly.

Tall figure towering over her, his dark skin smooth and flawless, regardless of how terrible his skincare routine is—because water and occasional moisturiser is enough, right?

Somehow it is for him, anyhow.

The soft look in his dark eyes combined with the gentle smile he directs at her whenever he sees her makes Celina’s heart flutter, blood rushing into her cheeks.

Miles either doesn’t notice or he’s gracious enough not to mention it.

Celina thinks she has all the lines and dips of his face memorised perfectly, trying not to picture the image of him whenever they’re not together.

And while lookwise Miles is definitely a sight for sore eyes, his personality makes him infinitely more attractive.

The whole idea of doing little things just to make Celina feel less alone and surrounded by silence is in itself enough to make anyone fall in love.

So surely no one can blame Celina for falling for the Texan, right?

Well, certainly Celina herself can and does so.

Her friendship with Miles is one of the most important relationships she’s ever had, really, and the mere idea of even possibly getting close to losing him makes her sick to her stomach.

So however appealing dating Miles may seem to her, the notion of it bringing butterflies to her stomach, Celina can’t let herself pursue that.

The picturing of what being Miles’ girlfriend would be like has to be enough, although Celina doesn’t allow herself to go there too often as it feels disrespectful towards him.

It also makes her heart sharply squeeze in her chest, knowing it’s so far out of reach, so it’s better when she leaves that thought process alone as much as her mind allows.

Miles, of course, makes her attempts as pointless as he can manage, however, as his doting on her ruins any tries to stomp her feelings back into the ground.

Celina almost thinks she already partially knows what dating Miles would be like as she spends nearly all of her time with him anyway, his caring personality giving her a look into what he’d be like.

Screw him for being such a good friend.

That’s why when Miles didn’t immediately come to the apartment as he usually does that Celina should have been expecting trouble.

Miles, although not an official occupant of this apartment, got used to always sharing his location with Celina, the two of them coming to a mutual agreement of knowing where the other is wordlessly.

That’s why Miles’ absence feels strange basically right away.

Celina is just lounging around on the couch, some random movie playing as she wouldn’t watch their show ahead without Miles present, a permanent scoff on her face as she internally curses the guy she arrested today, body sore in unfamiliar ways after she chased him for like thirty minutes this afternoon.

You would have thought that Celina would be aware of all the muscle soreness, nonetheless it’s basically everyday that she pauses and asks herself how has some new place just spawned on her body to hurt.

Miles is still somehow not really answering, his text messages about his whereabouts maddeningly vague when Celina asked when he’s coming over.

Perhaps Celina really should take Lucy’s advice and just ask him to move in.

Celina is not used to just sitting in the apartment alone anymore, Miles’ constant presence a familiar part of her existence in this space now just as much as her own so sitting on the couch, the whole place eerily quiet as she just waits, makes her feel uneasy.

Miles, similarly to Lucy, happens to be a noisy roommate.

There’s always a song stuck on his mind, nonsense lyrics with no real rhythm escaping his lips basically 24/7.

And for how graceful Miles looks when he’s walking—steps elegantly following his desired path—his feet are always heavily stomping on the ground he’s walking on, hollow sound following after.

His whole presence is loud and Celina loves that.

Loves having this other existence here, always aware of the fact that she’s not alone, silence never penetrating her skin like shattered glass.

Thankfully Miles’ suspicious behaviour doesn’t last much longer as the familiar knocking sounds through the room soon enough, Celina scrambling to a sit quicker than she’d admit.

“Howdy!” Miles grins at her as soon as the door open to him, stepping inside when Celina moves to the side.

“Hey,” Celina snorts, amused by his Texan slang as she always is, “where were you?”

Miles turns to her with a smirk—eyes meeting hers—the expression making blood rush into Celina’s cheeks, “were you worried about me?”

“You text me like every damn minute, whenever you take a step really, so it did make me quite nervous when you suddenly didn’t respond for an hour, yeah,” Celina rolls her eyes, body falling back into the couch.

A sudden thud next to her—Miles getting comfortable in the other corner of the couch—startles Celina slightly, “oh, you like me!”

“Barely.”

“I’ve got something for you!” Miles ignores Celina’s sarcastic comment apart from gently kicking her ankle with his foot, “how long before you can get ready?”

Celina raises her eyebrows, unused to Miles asking for something like that as they usually spend time inside aside from their runs.

The surprises Miles routinely prepares for Celina involve being in the apartment, the man bringing her some items she’s talked about, knowing how those little things matter to her.

Now, though, Miles asking her to get dressed up and expecting her to leave the apartment is new.

“Ready? Ready for what?”

Miles scoffs with a roll of his eyes, shaking his head disapprovingly, “have we learned nothing, darlin’? Surprises are secret for a reason.”

Celina watches him for a moment, looking for any indication that he might crack soon and spill what he’s planned for the two of them, however it’s pointless.

Which is a good thing, Celina supposes, as Miles shouldn’t really break under pressure as a cop.

However this is different. He should definitely break under pressure when it comes to her.

“Fine. But! You’re gonna have to be a little more specific, I don’t know what you mean by getting ready, ready for some fancy restaurant? Ready for shopping? There’s different stages to being ready, Miles.”

Now Miles’ eyes are the ones boring into hers, unamused expression on his face as he gazes at her before he shakes his head, deciding to pick his battles, “nothing too fancy. Just something nicer than what you’re wearing right now.”

“These are my favourite sweatpants!” Celina gasps, offended as she follows his pointed finger to look at the clothing article she’s wrapped in.

The fabric is stretched out, the once vibrant blue faded into some muted version of it from the years of washing, however it’s comfortable and that’s all that should matter, especially at home.

“Yeah, and you look amazing in them,” Miles winks at her, making her heartbeat pick up slightly, “however it’s not really the outfit for the occasion. So is half an hour enough?”

In the end, Celina does get up to follow Miles’ instructions, making her way over to her desk in her room to get started on her makeup.

Miles, ready to just take her place on the couch and watch the movie while he waits for her to get ready, gets instead roped into choosing an outfit, a punishment for his vague description of the surprise.

“It’s not cold outside now but we never know later,” mumbling is all that can be heard from Miles, the man taking his role of a stylist surprisingly seriously, “but like, jeans are too casual.”

Celina finds herself grinning at herself in the little mirror absentmindedly, enjoying the muttering behind her while she does her makeup.

Her relationships were never of the more domestic kind, the whole thing usually feeling unusually fast while still never straying into that territory.

Now, with Miles here—in her room, choosing an outfit for her with the greatest attention to detail and something akin to a real interest, fills her heart with warmth.

Maybe she really does crave a domestic relationship.

Or maybe she just wants Miles.

“Okay!”

Celina turns in her chair—eyelashes squeezed in the eyelash curler—to get a look at what he eventually settled on.

Fabrics is overflowing from Miles’ hands as he awkwardly holds the piece of clothing in front of himself, trying his best to give her a look at his choice.

In his hands rests one of Celina’s longer dresses, the cut and fabric still casual enough with just the right amount of fancy sprinkled in, directly fitting Miles’ previous description.

Maybe he knew what he was talking about, after all.

Miles has told her he likes this dress on her once before, perhaps looking for this specific piece in her dresser the whole time he was rummaging through it.

“It fits your weird description surprisingly well, I will say that,” Celina grins at him, laughing at his weird expression when she curls her lashes some more.

“See, I knew what I was talking about,” Miles gently places the dress on her bed, returning back to her dresser, “would you like to take a bag?”

After picking her purse and shoes Miles walks out of the door, giving her privacy while she gets changed.

Celina notes that he left a tiny gap in the door, not closing them entirely. He used to close her door all the way, however he hasn’t done so once since Celina started leaving it slightly ajar herself to hear the sounds of the living room.

And if that doesn’t make Celina’s stomach flutter once more.

The fabric slides down her body very easily when Celina tucks it over her head, falling elegantly down her hips. The zip on her back stays open, waiting for Miles’ help.

Celina fixes her hair after it got all crazy when she slipped her head through the dress, running her fingers through her waves as she turns her body towards her dresser.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Celina thinks she looks good, the dress Miles picked out very beautiful. It’s tight in all the right places, the slit down her thigh making it just the right amount of sexy.

Celina gives herself a smile, bending down to slide her feet into her platform sandals and then grabbing the purse Miles placed on her bed.

“You look amazing,” is the first thing Celina hears when she walks back into the living room, platforms clicking as she does.

Miles is standing by the kitchen counter, his mug half filled with some of the soda he keeps around in front of him as he slowly sips on it.

Dark eyes roam down the length of Celina’s body, sending shivers all over her body as he pauses on her curves delicately wrapped by the tight fitting dress.

The fact that he chose it himself makes it somehow all the more thrilling.

Celina should perhaps feel self-conscious under his heavy gaze, the man being the one she fancies, however she could never feel like that with Miles, no matter how hard he stares.

It flatters her, actually.

His eyes on her body feel better than they should, the feeling running through her making the room feel hotter than it really is.

“Thank you,” the mumbled sentence slips from Celina’s lips, breaking Miles from whatever trance he was in as he checked the dress he picked out.

A sharp inhale can be heard before his eyes finally move away from her, briefly meeting Celina’s before he turns his back to her, cheeks looking suspiciously dark.

“Can you zip up the dress for me, please?” Miles hums with his back still turned towards her, body rigid for reasons unknown to Celina.

Celina doesn’t wait for him as she turns on her heel, moving her hair over one of her shoulders to expose her bare back to Miles, goosebumps appearing on her skin right away.

It takes Miles only a moment before he’s nearly flush against her, his warm thumb pressed into her spine as he grasps the little clasp just above her butt.

Celina tries to stifle a gasp at the sudden contact, body betraying her as she leans back into him.

Miles doesn’t mention her less than subtle move, only placing his other palm on her waist to steady her so he can actually close the dress, making Celina’s situation all that much worse.

The thumb on the dip of her waist is gently rubbing in circles, Miles—probably not even realising he’s doing it—absentmindedly trying to calm Celina as if he’s not the one making her heart nearly jump out of her chest.

The moment of the extreme tension between them ends, Celina unsure of whether hours or mere seconds went by, her only concern her own breathing.

When Celina finally turns to face him, cheeks on fire, they just awkwardly smile at each other, both obviously vibrating with energy—wanting to disappear on the spot.

“Uh, shall we go?” Miles half smirks, the expression looking unusually stiff. Celina, at the very least, appreciates that she’s not the only one completely thrown off by this situation.

The feelings that started clouding her heart whenever she as much as thinks about Miles may affect her thoughts, however Celina would say that she acts the same way she did even before, not willing to risk her friendship with him.

Now, though, the electricity that runs through her whole body after his touch gets tough to hide.

She can’t afford to have this awkwardness in their friendship, that would ultimately lead to the end of this new way of being friends and Celina might as well perish.

It’s not forever—she realises that—as sooner or later, conversation about what they’re doing is bound to happen.

That, or Miles will one day appear with a girlfriend, shatter Celina’s little fantasy and inevitably leave her behind as he will be this close—planning his surprises and everything—to his girlfriend exclusively.

Celina doesn’t like thinking about that.

“Sure, let’s go!”

Miles leads her over to her car, the car being their vehicle of choice whenever they’re travelling together so Miles doesn’t have to use his house.

“Can you tell me where we’re going now?” Celina starts as soon as she sits down in the passenger seat, buckling herself in. Her purse is tucked between her knees, fingers tapping lightly against the leather.

Miles gives her a glance, starting the car, “nope, you can wait the few minutes before we’ll be there, you survived not knowing so far so you’ll be fine.”

Celina scoffs, turning towards the window to gaze outside as she usually does when they’re driving together.

The drive there takes only like 15 minutes, light conversation flowing between them as they pass the streets full of cars.

Celina starts recognising the houses a few moments before Miles stops, her eyebrows furrowing, “wait, are we-.”

It’s then that Miles comes to a stop with the car, parking in an empty driveway, “yeah!”

Lucy and Tim’s house is in front of them, the light on inside inviting them in. Celina turns briefly to Miles, checking if this the actual stop he intended, however the man is already opening his door and getting out.

Celina follows after him, walking up to Miles who’s sheepishly walking over to her, his face twisted into a smile.

“Is this your surprise?” Celina feels herself grin back at him, stepping closer to place her hand on his arm, “we’re going to Lucy and Tim’s house?”

Miles shrugs, cheeks flushed “you really like family dinners, you’ve said you loved having them as a kid. We’re not a family, sure, but it’s close.”

Celina has to blink a few times to stop herself from immediately tearing up, however she’s unable to refrain herself from nearly jumping into Miles’ arms, arms tightly wound around his neck.

It takes Miles a few moments to react, clearly startled by her arms suddenly wrapping around him, however he easily leans forward, one of his own arms finding their way over to Celina’s lower back, one to her nape.

Recently, they’ve started hugging randomly—not like a daily thing or anything, simply only when one of them feels like it—so falling into a comfortable hold comes to them naturally.

Celina buries her head in his neck, absentmindedly sliding her hands down his back to get into a more snug position, preening internally when Miles starts rubbing the back of her neck with his thumb as he usually does.

“We also said that I have to cook for you and we haven’t done that so far so, I spent the day here preparing.”

Celina leans back in Miles’ embrace—although she still stays in his arms with her own palms pressed to his shoulders—her mouth wide open, “that’s why you weren’t answering?”

“It’s adorable how concerned about that you are,” Miles laughs, head thrown back.

The whole action of him doing so with his body pressed flush against Celina’s makes her own body vibrate with his laughter, her heart enjoying the sensation.

“Let’s go inside, before all your hard work goes to waste. I’m craving something salty right now,” Celina grins, letting her hands fall from Miles’ shoulders, taking a minuscule step back to give both of them space to walk over to the porch.

Once they step onto the path by the decorative bushes around the house, the sensor light turns on, immediately causing a blurry figure to start moving behind the glass in the door.

It takes Lucy only a moment to open the door, stepping aside right away to let them inside.

After a brief hug between Celina and Lucy, both Miles and Celina shed their things by the hanger, Miles excusing himself right away as he steers his steps outside to the garden, Tim’s figure clear by the grill.

Celina’s eyes land on the big table in the centre of the room, usually bare however now it’s already filled with four of everything, from plates to glasses.

“Did you set up the table?” Celina snorts, unused to Lucy ever taking the table manners seriously, “are these table cloths?”

Lucy laughs, collapsing onto the couch with her glass of wine that just appeared in her hands, “nah, that’s all Miles. He’s been here for hours, preparing everything.”

A sudden blush covers Celina’s face, eyes not meeting Lucy’s as she pours herself some wine as well from the opened bottle in the middle of the table.

“Now, I gotta ask, why are we doing this? Not that I’m not happy to have a dinner with you two and eat some delicious food, I’m just not sure.. Why.”

Celina takes her own seat on the couch, throwing hear head back with a sigh, “he’s been doing these little things to—I don’t know, make me feel better? I hate how quiet the apartment is so he’s doing anything he can think of to make it less lonely.”

Lucy doesn’t speak, noticing Celina is not done speaking.

“He’s been at the apartment more often than not, so we spend basically all of our time together and then he does these things and I-.“

The sentence gets cut off by the glass door sliding open, Miles with Tim in tow appearing back inside. The older man has a smirk on his face, patting blushing Miles on the back.

“Ready for dinner, ladies?”

Lucy was right when she said majority of the things are prepared for dinner, as they only have to take some bowls out of the fridge and Miles—who’s brought a metal one of his own from outside—to place it on the table.

Celina walks around to one side, sliding into a chair she’s sat in the few times she ate around this table.

Lucy, with a clearly hardly suppressed grin on her face, takes the seat opposite of her, immediately kicking her shin when Miles sits down in the chair next to Celina.

The idea of the two of them together has been something Lucy’s been bringing up for ages now, even when Celina still used to be in a relationship.

And now that Celina was single and so was Miles, and she basically confessed to Lucy that they spend time together alone all the time, the dam of her holding back from playing a match maker has broken.

Thankfully Lucy doesn’t bring it up in front of Miles during the dinner, although Celina can tell she talked about it with Tim as she keeps looking to him whenever Miles talks to Celina directly.

The dinner goes smoothly, comfortable conversation flowing between them as they stuff themselves full of the food Miles prepared.

Celina knew he can cook, it being one of his hobbies, however she’s never tasted anything too complicated he has made.

Now though?

Miles will be lucky if they ever order takeout again, he’s created a monster.

“I hope you know that the only food we’re eating from now on is whatever you cook, no way we’re ever touching takeout again when you can make this,” Celina mumbles, eyes not even raising from her plate as she scoops another spoonful of the delicious dish in front of her.

Miles laughs, eyes crinkled on the sides when they meet hers, “you don’t have a grill at your place.”

“I guess we’ll have to hangout in your car since you have one next to it. Or! I’ll buy a house with a garden!”

Everyone around the table laughs and Celina has to stop herself from tearing up again.

This, the whole atmosphere of this dinner, is exactly what she craved and Miles gave her this, not only cooking for everyone but also doing this with Tim and Lucy so it actually feels more like a family dinner as he knows she misses being closer to her best friend.

Her heart feels so full right now, the room filled with people she cares about most in the world.

Sure, some are missing, like Nolan or her mum, however she’s more than grateful for what this is.

Celina definitely needs to hear how he got Tim to agree to use his grill though, the older man still sometimes intimidating to Miles and she’s sure he was close to cowering in fear when he went to ask.

The dinner doesn’t last for much longer as the food disappears faster than ever, only messy plates remaining on the table.

“Thanks, Miles. It was amazing!” Lucy grins at the man next to Celina, starting to stack the plates.

Miles only politely smiles under the attention, mumbling his own thank you’s. For a very confident man, Miles can occasionally be very shy and Celina finds it adorable.

When everyone gets up, Celina and Lucy start picking up the plates when Miles interrupts, “you two relax, go gossip or whatever it is that you do. You need to catch up or something. We’ll clean it.”

It’s clear Miles didn’t ask Tim previously if he’d help with the clean up when the older man shoots him a look, however he does take the dishes from Lucy, pressing a feather light kiss to her head before he walks over to the kitchen.

“Let’s go sit outside, it’s quite nice today.”

Lucy grabs both of their glasses from the coffee table, walking through the glass door over to the back porch when Celina slides it open for her.

“So,” Lucy starts as soon as they both get comfortable in their respective seats, sipping on her drink, “is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

Celina raises her eyebrows, amused by her tone, “no? Do you have something in mind?”

Lucy shoots a look towards the kitchen through the glass, checking if either of the men is listening to their conversation, “yes! What are you and Miles doing?”

“Nothing! He’s just very nice and knew I like big dinners so he cooked! Don’t say you didn’t love the food, I saw you nearly licking your plate clean.”

A scoff can be heard from Lucy, “shush, I did not. It was delicious though.”

Celina grins, opening her mouth to speak again when Lucy continues, “but you’re not changing the subject. I can’t be the only one who noticed that this was basically a double date.”

Celina looks down, licking her lips as she mimics Lucy’s earlier look behind them, making sure the two, especially Miles, are out of hearing distance, “it did feel like that, didn’t it? I didn’t wanna say anything but like.”

“Oh this is gold,” A laugh bubbles out of Lucy’s lips, her head thrown back, “it’s exactly like Tim and I!”

Celina frowns confused, forcing Lucy to elaborate, “before we started dating, when Tim was with Ashley and I just started with Chris, we went on a double date together. Honestly, it did feel like we were there together but yeah.”

“Oh my god!” Celina joins Lucy in laughing, “that had to be the most awkward date ever.”

“Honestly, not for us, no. We just talked with each other,” Lucy’s face melts into something a lot softer, this time her look thrown towards the kitchen for a different purpose, “I’ve never had more fun on a date until then.”

Celina smiles softly at her, once again taking a sip of her drink, “if this is even half of what a date with Miles would be like, I’ll take it.”

Lucy turns sharply to her, probably startled by her sudden confession rather than the confession itself, “so we’re finally talking about this?”

“There was nothing to talk about before!” Celina snorts, giving her a look, “I was in a relationship, I didn’t even look at him.”

Lucy raises her eyebrows, making Celina roll her eyes, “okay, fine, I did look but c’mon, have you seen him? I would have never acted on it though.”

“That’s true,” Lucy nods, “and that’s good, we don’t like cheating. However! Now you can. You’re both single so, what’s stopping you?”

Celina shakes her head, sighing, “I can’t do that. First of all, I don’t think he sees me like that and second, it’s too risky. He’s so incredibly important to me, I can’t do that and risk loosing him.”

“Listen,” Lucy sits up straighter, placing her hand palms up on the table to make Celina hold her hand, “I know, I’ve been there. You’re so scared of what might happen if it all goes wrong but you can’t think like that.”

Celina looks at her, shrugging pointlessly.

“I took the risk and look at where we are now. It took a while and some heartache but now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I found my soulmate and I get to spend the rest of my life with him. Don’t make the mistake of not going for it and then watching as he eventually moves on and finds someone else.”

A sharp inhale is the only noise left on the dark porch, only little lamp above them casting some light down on the space, “it’s scary.”

“It is,” Lucy hums, thumb rubbing over Celina’s knuckles as she stupidly notices how different it feels from Miles’ hand in hers, “but it will be worth it. Trust me. If someone’s to be trusted with your heart, it’s that guy over there.”

Both their gazes turn back over to the kitchen, watching the men who somehow managed to steal their hearts.

“Wait,” Celina’s head snaps back towards Lucy, “what do you mean he’d move on. Is he-,”

Lucy swiftly gets up from her chair, hands raised in surrender, “I didn’t say anything like that!”

“Yes, you did!”

“It’s not my story to tell,” Lucy winks, patting her shoulder lightly, “just believe me when I tell you, you won’t mess anything up if you tell him.”

Celina nods slowly, unsure of what to feel in the moment. She gets up from her own seat, quickly wrapping herself around Lucy to perhaps thank her, maybe to get some comfort, Celina doesn’t know.

After their brief hug, the conversation on the inside moves over to the couch as Miles and Tim turn on the TV, football playing so they decide to step in.

“No, you don’t. We have guests over! Turn it off!” Lucy laments, gently slapping Tim’s shoulder as soon as he’s within reach.

“You’re talking outside! We like watching it,” Tim frowns playfully at her, hiding the remote, “right, Texas?”

Miles, unable to decide who to agree with, just smiles at both of them awkwardly, eyes finding Celina with a plea for help.

“We should go anyway,” Celina decides to save him from the wrath of both of them, stepping closer to his armchair, “we all have a shift early tomorrow.”

A hum sounds through the room, argument over the TV forgotten.

The four of them move over to the shoe rack and hanger, both Miles and Celina grabbing the rest of their stuff.

Both Tim and Lucy stand side by side and Celina notes how domestic they look like that, sharing a home together.

She might have felt left behind, however even just the image of them here, together in their space makes her feelings irrelevant.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow, have a good night!”

With their last goodbyes, Miles and Celina step side by side back onto the now dark porch, steps steering them over to her parked car.

“Did you have fun?”

Miles breaks the silence after a few minutes of it, the two just enjoying the company of one another without the need to fill it with conversation.

Celina smiles fondly at him, hands briefly caressing his hand on the gear stick, noticing how goosebumps appear on his skin, “it was wonderful, thank you so much for doing that for me, Miles.”

“It was my pleasure,” Miles gives her a grin of her own, “it makes me happy when you’re happy.”

Another moment of silence falls over the small space of the car, only rhythmic sound of breathing breaking it.

“Will you stay over tonight?”

The question has transformed over the past few weeks, going from inviting Miles in to basically asking him to stay as she grew used to his presence close to her.

“I’d love to, darlin’.”

Their journey doesn’t last much longer and Celina is partially grateful for that. Not only is it late but she’s also spent a lot of today overthinking and she needs her rest.

Miles parks elegantly in her designated spot as he always does, quickly getting out of his seat to run over to her side to open the door for her.

Celina’s cheeks flush when he offers her his hand, placing her palm in his when she does take it into hers.

Their joined hands don’t separate, the two of them walking hand in hand over to the entrance of the apartment building, only parting when Miles holds the door for her.

They don’t really speak for the rest of the evening, both clearly tired and preoccupied with thoughts.

It’s only when they switch in the bathroom that Celina watches as Miles starts opening his blanket on the couch, eyes flicking over to Lucy’s bedroom door.

“Why don’t you sleep in there?”

Miles raises his head from his careful movements of unfolding the fabric, eyes moving to where she’s pointing.

“Are you sure?” Miles mutters, eyes flickering between the door and Celina, “I don’t want to overstep. That’s Lucy’s bedroom and..”

Miles’s voice trails off, eyes now solely focused on Celina as he watches her reaction.

Celina sighs, absentmindedly tugging on her t-shirt, “it’s not anymore, no. I kind of just kept it there to remind myself that I’m not left behind, that she used to be here, that it’s her space. But after today, I think it just clicked that she’s where she’s supposed to be.”

Celina walks over to where Miles is standing, looking up at him, “she’s happy at their house. And I need to move on. I’ve been forcing you to sleep on this tiny couch because I couldn’t get over myself. You deserve a place of your own here.”

Miles just gazes down at her, dark eyes watching closely for any kind of indication that she’s just saying that, “are you sure?”

Celina nods firmly and before she knows it, she’s back in Miles’ arms.

This time he doesn’t fold forward, only hold her to his chest with his thumb soothingly rubbing on her nape as he always does.

Celina closes her eyes, fighting the reappearing stinging in her eyes, feeling somewhat of a weight lift off of her shoulders.

Lucy’s moving out has taken a huge toll on Celina, hitting her harder than she was expecting. It’s taken her weeks to really come to terms with the fact that Lucy is gone but not really.

She’s still her best friend, still the same person Celina used to live with.

She’s just moving on with her life.

As should Celina.

So now, letting go of the idea that no one can ever be in Lucy’s room, feels freeing.

Miles caresses her hair before he presses a feather light kiss to the crown of her head, “let’s get you to bed, hm?”

With his arm still around Celina, Miles walks her over to her room and then after looking down at her to her bed, helping her get under the blankets.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”

Celina nods wordlessly, eyes never straying from him, “thank you, Miles. For everything.”

“You’re more than welcome, darlin’.”

With that, Miles closes the door behind himself, the tiny gap in it present as always. Celina can hear him shuffling around in the living room for a few extra moments, gathering his things before the door to Lucy’s room hiss from being open, his heavy steps disappearing.

And as Celina falls asleep, the only thought on her mind is of the wonderful man in the now occupied bedroom.

Chapter Text

Celina has always wanted a dog.

When she was a kid, it wasn’t really something that was possible, as her single mum could barely afford food for them, let alone a dog.

Every kid wanted a dog at some point, so her mum ignored it, mostly.

When Celina got older and started making some money herself—from part time jobs—she was busy with school and then eventually when she wasn’t anymore, she didn’t have a place even for herself to live, let alone a dog.

And now?

Well, Celina is unsure of what’s stopping her nowadays, really.

She has a place to live—nice one at that—she has a stable job, friends who could help with the walks and everything.

And yet she just can’t get herself to go to a shelter and adopt one.

It might just be that she’s in general bad at getting for herself or maybe it just feels like too big of a step, she’s unsure.

Although, she should have probably gotten one when Lucy moved out, would have saved Miles a lot of back pain from sleeping on the couch as she wouldn’t feel so alone in the apartment.

Still, she never got around to doing it. And knowing herself, she never might.

So Celina continues to dream about one day hopefully adopting a dog, even the idea feeling foreign and impossible.

And that’s when Miles comes in, as he always does these days.

“Are you ready for today’s surprise?”

Celina looks up from her phone, fork with some cooked vegetables she packed for lunch pausing mid-air to her mouth.

Her hand lowers back onto the sticky table of the break room, Celina cringing when she feels the crumbs left on it stick to her exposed forearm.

Miles, now circling around the table before he sits down in the chair opposite her, gives her one of his gentle smiles reserved just for her as he leans back in the chair.

Celina feels her cheeks heat up, briefly looking down as she swallows, “surprise?”

“Don’t act all shocked, darlin’, you know I like preparing them for you,” Miles chuckles, boot softly kicking into Celina’s, “although this one is a little different.”

Celina raises her eyebrows, closing her Tupperware lunch box before she rests her head on her palm, eyes flickering around his face.

“Different? Different how?”

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna like it,” Miles hums, his hand finding Celina’s to grasp it in his, “at least I hope so. But I think you will.”

Celina holds back the urge to roll her eyes at his doubt as if she would ever dislike something he prepared with her in mind.

Sometimes it makes Celina a little perplexed that Miles doesn’t seem to realise why she likes these different surprises he prepares for her.

Sure, getting gifts and being invited places is nice, however it wouldn’t be half as nice as if say Tim did that for her.

Celina likes Tim, don’t get her wrong, he’s become her friend ever since Lucy and him got back together, nevertheless he’s not.. Someone she’d really appreciate acts like this from.

Miles, however.

From Miles, she both likes and wants these surprises as it really just makes her fall deeper in love whenever she looks at him and his thoughtfulness consumes her mind.

“Of course I’ll like it,” Celina shakes her head with a snort, “as if I’d ever dislike something you prepared for me, you dummy.”

Miles gasps, mouth falling open in faux shock, “you did not just call me a dummy!”

Scrapping sound rings through the break room—Celina getting up from her seat—steps leading her over to the door before she pauses in the doorway, “I think I did.”

Miles’ chair squeaks when he gets up immediately after, the man making his way back over to Celina.

Their boots nearly brush when he stops in front of her, forcing Celina to tilt her head back so she can still face him.

Celina notes how close he actually is to her, if she just reached out slightly with her fingers, she’d be touching his stomach covered by the deep blue fabric.

She swears she can feel his body heat radiating off of him.

“I gotta go,” Celina mumbles after a few moments of them just staring at each other, momentary silence falling over the two of them.

She thinks Miles came so close to say something, tease her perhaps, however he looks just as lost in their closeness as Celina does.

“Alright,” a mumbled reply falls from his lips, though he doesn’t make any efforts to step away, give her space to take her leave. Celina doesn’t really want him to.

For how noisy police stations, especially Mid-Wilshire, are their moment is surprisingly uninterrupted, leaving them to just shamelessly stare at one another.

Celina swears she sees Miles’ eyes fall to her lips for a brief moment, not that she can blame him as she’s doing the same, just to him.

“Hey guys!” Sudden voice breaks them out of the spell they fell under, making Miles nearly hit his head on the door frame when he jumps away from her.

Celina’s gaze falls on Nolan, who’s making his way through the bright hall, his usual enthusiastic expression on his face, though Celina doesn’t miss the fleeting frown before he corrects his face again.

And Celina wants to groan out loud.

Nolan, who’s become somewhat of a father figure to her in the years she’s known him, can be a little.. Overprotective sometimes, and although he plays nice most of the time, he doesn’t let her forget whether he approves or not.

Not directly, yet his expression of annoyance is enough to let her know how he feels.

She hasn’t mentioned a word about her and Miles’ developing relationship to him exactly because of this and now, she might have to.

And while Nolan generally really likes Miles, the younger man becoming someone who’s an important member of their group, he’s still a guy.

One that can easily break Celina’s heart seeing that she basically handed it over to him.

Yeah, Celina is not necessarily excited for that conversation as it didn’t end that well when she introduced them to Rodge months ago.

“Howdy!” Miles grins stiffly, placing his palms on his duty belt around his waist, “well, I gotta go. Tim doesn’t like when I take too long.”

With that, he gives Celina a soft smile, steps quickly moving in the direction of the bullpen, the one Nolan just came from.

“I’d love to know if he ever called him Tim to his face,” Nolan wonders, making Celina laugh out loud.

“Nah, he’s too scared of him still, it’s endearing.”

Nolan walks over to the coffee machine on the counter, setting a paper cup on its designated spot under the spout.

“That was weird, though, right?” Nolan chuckles, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter, “he left super fast. I saw him come here like five minutes ago, he couldn’t have eaten or even gotten a coffee.”

Celina shakes her head, quickly putting on a smile, “oh yeah, he just wanted to tell me something.”

“Tell you something?” Nolan drops his act of casual conversation, eyeing her with a suspicious expression, “are you two?”

“No! No, we’re-,” Celina clears her throat, unsure of how to describe what they’re doing, “we’re not. He just, asked about something.”

Suddenly Nolan’s face brightens, teasing smirk growing on his face, “but you’d like to!”

“What? No! No, we’re just friends!”

Nolan’s laughter fills the break room, Celina checking if someone is hearing their conversation in the hallway in mortification.

“Well, it’s about time,” Nolan’s sentence makes Celina frown, questions written all over her face, “you two have been dancing around each other for months!”

“We have not-.”

Celina doesn’t even get a chance to finish her sentence, Nolan’s coffee ready to go as he immediately takes a sip—Celina is unsure how he can drink basically boiling hot drinks—with his steps leading out of the room.

“Invite him over for dinner when you finally make it official, alright? I need to give him the talk, don’t think he’s off the hook just because we already know him.”

And with that he’s gone, squeezing past her swiftly, leaving a gaping Celina behind.

His whole knowledge of her feelings for Miles comes as a huge shock to Celina, sending a rush of fear down her spine.

If their relationship becomes the talk of the station, Celina can say goodbye to Miles never finding out about this and to their friendship, her secret becoming basically a public knowledge.

How Nolan has found out, she’s unsure, however she hopes he was only observant.

She then thinks about what he actually said, amusement lighting her suddenly scary thoughts.

She’s aware that by the talk he means mostly just talking to him about their relationship in general, no real threatening in sight, so it just makes Celina roll her eyes.

Nolan is the farthest person from being scary, well unless you’re being arrested by him, so she’s not really worried.

Especially because that dinner is not happening like, ever.

Miles being her boyfriend, furthermore one she invites over for family dinners, is a fantasy she keeps locked deep in her heart.

Celina shakes herself out of her thought process, deciding to instead go back to the shop and wait for Lucy there, if she’s still on her break.

The realisation that Miles only really escaped because Nolan came in and not because Tim is waiting for him washes over her, making her chuckle out loud.

The rest of her shift—despite being fairly quiet and uneventful and is spent just chatting with Lucy—feels endless, the desire to just clock out and go check out her surprise growing by the minute.

The promise of spending time with Miles and again finding herself on the receiving end of his gift giving once again sends a rush of excitement down her spine.

And just when Celina thinks her shift might never end, Lucy parks the car in the station’s garage and they can make their way over to the locker room, changing back into their regular clothes.

“You want to go for drinks?”

Celina turns her head, fingers tugging the fabric of her t-shirt down her hips, “sorry, I can’t.”

Lucy raises her eyebrows, sudden smirk appearing on her face, “oh, that’s alright. Where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” Celina might have shared her feelings for Miles with Lucy, doesn’t mean she likes talking about it.

“Mhm, sure. Now,” Lucy grabs her bag from the bench, eyeing Celina as she does the same, “where is Miles taking you?”

Celina groans, though there’s a grin playing on her lips, “shut up.”

“I’m so right,” their steps lead towards the guys’ locker room, “I better be your maid of honour on your wedding with Miles.”

“As if I have somebody else to ask,” Celina mumbles, tugging on the strap of her bag, “and I’m not marrying him!”

“Marrying who?”

Celina nearly screams out loud from startle, unintentionally harshly bumping into the person who just spoke, “oh my god.”

“You always nearly jump out of your skin when I come close, darlin’,” Miles’ deep chuckle sounds above her, forcing her to tilt her head to look into his face, “I’m gonna start thinking you’re scared of me.”

A gentle slap to his bicep is all he gets as an answer, Celina’s eyes instead falling on Tim by Miles’ side.

The four of them fall back into moving out of the station, Celina naturally slipping next to Miles as Lucy and Tim get lost in each other.

“Do you want to drive back to the apartment in your car, I follow you and then we take mine to the actual place?”

Celina glances up at Miles, shrugging, “sure, might as well.”

That’s how they find themselves close to a half an hour later in front of Celina’s building, finding it hard to say goodbye to Lucy and Tim as they all had a very interesting story to share from today.

Celina parks her car in her designated spot, quickly getting out of the car before she walks over to Miles’ car standing on the street.

“Hey!”

Miles grins at her as soon as she opens the door and makes herself comfortable in the passenger seat, “howdy!”

“So, where are you taking me?”

A scoff escapes Miles’ lips, laugh following shortly after, “really? Have you learned nothing? I’m not gonna just tell you!”

Celina raises her eyebrows and tilts her head, “well, I tried.”

Their drive is filled with different stories from their shift, low music playing in the background as it always does.

It only takes Miles like ten minutes before he’s already parking in a tiny parking lot, one Celina has only seen in passing when going on patrol.

When she turns to him, now positive he’s gonna reveal what he actually planned, Miles is already getting out of his seat, forcing her to follow.

“Where are we-,” Celina doesn’t get to finish her sentence, her eyes immediately falling on a big sign as soon as she gets out of the car.

The sign has cartoon puppies and kittens drawn all around it, the name of the actual place barely readable through all the animals.

Celina doesn’t need to read it to identify what this place is, though.

A shelter.

And she has an idea about what they’re doing here.

“You’ve been talking about getting a dog for weeks now,” Miles breaks her thought process, suddenly appearing by her side on the sidewalk, “you’d never get around to doing it yourself, so that’s why we’re here.”

Celina feels speechless as she just stares at the colourful building, seeing the people moving around inside.

“You don’t have to get one if you’re not sure,” Miles adds after a few moments of silence of Celina not saying anything, “we can just walk one, they offer that here.”

“No, no,” Celina quickly shakes her head, hands flying to hold onto Miles’ arm close to her, “this is, just.. Oh my god. I’ve wanted a dog most of my life and now-.”

Her sentence gets cut off by a squeal, Celina nearly jumping on the spot, “I’m gonna have a dog, Miles!”

Miles laughs loudly, his obvious nervousness fading, placing his hand softly on her lower back before he gives her a gentle push, “let’s go in to get your dog before they close, alright?”

And they do.

It’s clear Miles has been before as he leads her straight to the reception desk without looking around, confident in his stride.

“Hello, we’re looking to adopt a puppy?”

An older woman glances at them from the papers in front of her, warm smile tugging at her lips, “well, hello there. You can certainly do that here, love, would you like to go meet the babies?”

After they both nod, Celina clearly the more excited one, making the old lady laugh before she leads them to a door with a cartoon puppies drawn on it, resembling the ones on the sign outside.

Whining and barking can be heard even through the thick material of the door and it makes Celina smile fondly.

“Well, let’s find you your new family member, yeah?” With that, she unlocks the door with the card in her hand, the beeping followed by her pushing the door open.

The entire room the door reveals is filled with dogs of all different breeds and sizes, each one Celina’s eyes fall onto sending her further and further into cuteness overload.

“I think I just died and went to heaven!”

Miles is next to Celina’s buzzing figure, never ending laugh escaping from his mouth. His hand is pressed to her shoulder now—it feels like he himself forgot it’s still there—and Celina has probably never felt happier.

Because now she’s here, getting the dog of her dreams, with the man of her dreams, and she doesn’t know how this could get any better.

Okay, perhaps she does.

If Miles were to be her boyfriend and this was them picking out their dog together, it’d be even more exciting.

However, she can’t get everything, right?

You win some, you lose some.

“Alright, you said a puppy, those are a room over. Would you like to take a look at our older dogs as well, though? They get less love, but they’re absolute sweethearts.”

Celina nods mutely, stopping closer to the kennel on her right, crouching down to get a better look at the animal inside.

A smaller black terrier comes forward, tail bigger than its whole body wagging excitedly behind him.

Celina can’t help the aw that escapes her lips, offering her fingers through the metal for the dog to sniff at.

“That’s Pepper, one active dog, let me tell you,” Celina chuckles, gently petting Pepper’s dark nose, “and that next to her is Salt, her sister.”

A laugh can be heard behind her, Celina turning to see Miles eyeing the two dogs jumping in front of the cage.

Celina can see why they called the sisters Salt and Pepper, as the colours of their furs fit.

Salt is less hyperactive, however she’s still bouncing near the metal bars full of energy, ready to show just how good she can be.

“It’d be better for them to be adopted together, however we know that it might not be possible for most people.”

A pout crossed over Celina’s face briefly, silently asking the God she doesn’t even believe in for a favour, to help the pretty animals in their little lives.

That’s how one by one, Celina—accompanied by Miles and the lady, Judy—gets to meet each and every dog, glad to see that a lot are already reserved for different people.

“And now, for our last member, this is Honey.”

Behind the metal bars is a small Australian Shepard, mostly white however there are grey and black spots all over the dog’s back and some light golden brown on two of its legs and cheeks.

Each eye blinks back at Celina with different colour, one light blue reminding her of the sky, one dark brown, similar to Miles’ eyes.

“She’s only a year old, she escaped from some crime scene when her breeder set the farm on fire to hide a body.”

Celina exhales loudly, feeling her whole face get overtaken by a huge grin as she looks back at Miles, “what a coincidence.”

“We’re cops,” Miles adds helpfully to include Judy in on why they’re chuckling like that, “pretty sure we helped on that case.”

Judy joins in on their laughter then, face wrinkling and yet it makes her look younger, “a coincidence, indeed.”

Celina returns her gaze to the small animal, Honey, in the back of the kennel, the little lady one of the only ones who didn’t come close to sniff at her fingers.

“Honey is really shy, she doesn’t play much with the other dogs or even visitors,” here’s a hint of sadness in Judy’s tone, the woman clearly attached to the dog, “I’m scared no one will ever pick her as she seems to distrust everyone.”

Another exhale falls out of Celina’s lips, dropping the fingers from the gap in the bars, “can I go inside?”

Judy seems hesitant for a moment, however she complies, grabbing a key from the metal hook next to the kennel before she unlocks it, “just be careful, she scares easy.”

Celina nods, feeling determined to show some love to the animal, taking a hesitant step inside the space.

“Hey there, little love,” the whispered greeting seems to startle Honey even though she never let her eyes wander away from Celina, perhaps not used to sharing her territory.

Celina extends her hand, close enough for Honey to sniff at her hand yet far enough to not touch her and startle her further.

Despite the dog’s worried appearance, analysing every minuscule movement Celina makes, she does decide to move a little closer to her finger, doubtfully sniffing.

“You’re doing great,” sounds behind her, Miles’ voice full of wonder as he stares at the two of them.

Honey then decides that Celina can be trusted for a little pet, lowering her head slightly to bump it against her still extended palm.

Celina’s breath hitches, her movements just as unsure as Honey’s but she eventually does make a move, scratching lightly behind her ear.

After a few moments of feather light scratching, Honey deems Celina as trustworthy as can be and loses all hints of being shy.

It all happens so fast, Celina ready to just softly pet her head when Honey jumps up from her resting position, basically running into Celina with a wagging tail.

She’s still soft and careful with her moves, however she lets Celina pet all over her, tail falling into a comfortable rhythm behind her.

“I think she likes you,” Judy laughs behind Celina just as Miles previously had, making both Celina and Honey turn to look at her, “she’s never done that before.”

“She’s so sweet,” Celina finds herself saying, distracted by running her hands down Honey’s back. The dog took its place in Celina’s lap, rubbing her head against Celina’s neck.

“Well, there’s a reason she’s got this name!” Judy reminds her, amusement present in her voice, “now, do you think you two will be able to separate so we can go check out the puppies next door?”

Celina stares wordlessly at Honey for a moment, already feeling tugging at her heart at the idea of leaving her here, “I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I think I found the one.”

And as if Honey can understand what Celina just said, she turns slightly to lick under her jaw, making Celina laugh.

“Happy to hear that,” Judy looks close to tears when Celina manages to get up from under Honey, hand over her heart, “I was so worried she’d never find someone and now look at her.”

Celina does, her heart so full it feels like it might explode in her chest, “yeah, she’s stuck with me now!”

Adopting a dog is surprisingly an easy process, Celina only required to fill out some forms back at the front desk once another worker takes over Honey, getting her ready for going to her forever home.

“I already talked to Lucy about Kojo’s vet and sitter, so Honey is all taken care of!”

Celina has never wanted to kiss Miles more and that’s saying something.

Miles accompanies her over to the pet store across the street after she does sign everything she needs to, the two of them ready to spoil her new dog rotten.

“Oh my god, look!” Celina lifts her eyes from the million different bags of kibble, Reddit post of people discussing best brands pulled up on her phone.

Miles stands on the edge of the aisle—by the dog toys, of course—with a cart full of different kinds of balls and tug toys, holding a plushie in the shape of a honey jar in his hands.

“She needs that,” Miles doesn’t even wait for her answer, throwing it next to the other toys, “it’s gonna be her favourite.”

Celina shakes her head with a smile, shorting fondly, “alright.”

“Good thing you weren’t the one naming her, though,” Miles turns to her in confusion, so she continues, “you’d be buying a cat instead of a honey jar.”

Celina can see the gears turning in his head before a recognition crosses his face, unimpressed expression making Celina snort out a laugh, “is this about the name I suggested for your plant?”

“Yes! You wanted me to name Mario Daisy, instead! He’s not even a daisy!”

“Oh my god.”

After spending an insane amount of time and money at the pet store, the two of them make their way back over to the shelter.

“I’ll go put this in the car, alright?” Miles grins at Celina, his gaze impossibly soft, “you go pick up your girl.”

And Celina does.

She walks through the reception with Judy by her side, this time taking a different set of doors to get to the back, where Honey is already sitting patiently with a worker.

Either she really understands human words or maybe she’s just smart enough to know that her and Celina’s connection cannot be simply broken, so she doesn’t even look sad before she sees Celina.

She knows that Celina wouldn’t leave her behind.

“Hey, little lady! We’re going home!”

Honey’s head sharply turns towards Celina’s voice, jumping to her paws before she runs towards her already crouching owner.

“I hope you two have the best life together,” Judy sends her a smile that reminds Celina of her late grandmother, “I know she’s in good hands.”

And with that the two take their leave, circling the building to go back towards Miles’s car waiting in front.

“Are you excited to go to your new home?”

Celina finds herself mumbling to Honey who’s happily trotting next to her on her new pink leash.

A thought about training Honey so she can run around freely in the park crosses Celina’s mind, however that’s a thought for another day.

“Howdy there, ladies. Would you like a ride?”

Celina laughs when she opens the door for Honey to jump into the backseat, helping her as the dog doesn’t really seem to understand what is expected of her.

“Your humour can be painful sometimes,” Celina answers as soon as she opens her own door before getting in, immediately turning back to check if Honey is there.

“You wound me, darlin’,” Miles shakes his head, driving out of the street, “you truly do.”

“You’ll live.”

Their drive is mostly filled with random questions at Honey in the backseat, as if the dog can answer. She’s too preoccupied with staring at everything around them to pay attention anyway.

Miles parks in front of her apartment building soon after, same spot as the one he stood in just this afternoon.

Before Celina even knew she’d be coming home with a dog of her own.

They divide what each of them will carry—meaning Celina holds Honey’s leash and her new honey plushie and Miles carries the rest—before they lock the car, making their way inside to get to her apartment.

Celina unlocks the door, letting both Honey and Miles step in before she takes the leash off of her, letting her explore her new home.

“Do you want my help in setting in around?” Miles asks, sounding out of breath, as soon as he sets down all the bags, “like placing the bowls somewhere and whatever?”

“It can wait,” Celina finds herself saying, stepping closer to the man by the kitchen counter, “I just want to thank you.”

Miles starts shaking his head but she interrupts him, “no, let me say it. It feels inadequate at this point, however you were right. I don’t think I’d ever get around to going there myself and just doing it so, thank you.”

Celina’s words fade for a moment, eyes finding the animal now trying to paw open the unit under her TV, “I’m so happy to have her here and it’s because of you.”

“You never need to thank me for that,” Miles replies as soon as she stops speaking, unable to help himself in saying this specific sentence, “I do it because I care about you. Because I want you to be happy.”

His own eyes follow Celina’s to look at Honey, who’s still sniffing around the living area, “plus, I get to hang out with a cute puppy, it’s a win-win for me.”

“I knew you couldn’t be so selfless!” Celina laughs, swiftly tugging Miles into a hug, “still, thank you so much. Again.”

Their hug lasts for a few more moments, Celina enjoying the sensation of Miles’ thumb gently rubbing at her neck as he usually does.

And she doesn’t know how it happens.

It all happens so fast.

She’s just leaning back, arms still around Miles’ waist so they only create a small space between their bodies and she looks up into his eyes and it just.. Happens.

Celina gets on her tippy toes, hand flying to Miles’ head to tilt it slightly forward before she’s pressing her lips to his.

Miles’ mouth is warm and soft against hers, overpowering all of Celina’s senses.

She can taste the coffee they got when Celina was filling out Honey’s adoption paperwork, can smell the slightly faded cologne still present on his neck, the one Celina now finds comfort in.

His whole body is so warm against hers, Celina feeling it through all the layers that it makes her slightly insane.

Celina doesn’t register Miles’ hand pressing her closer to himself when she initially moves her lips, however she does notice when he returns the act and proceeds to deepen the kiss.

Miles’ lips always look soft and inviting, addictive even, however looking at them is nothing like feeling them against her own.

She can never forget the heavenly feeling.

The warm sensation of their bodies being pressed so close together makes her head fuzzy, his hand pressed against her waist making Celina feel way hotter than the room temperature of the apartment actually is.

It’s when Celina moves to open her mouth that she realises what she’s doing, jumping away like she just got burnt from being in Miles’ arms.

“Celina-,” Miles immediately starts, taking a step closer to her with his arms reaching for her, however she shakes her head and turns her back to him.

Celina feels like she just got cold water dumped down her t-shirt, goosebumps all over her body for completely different reason now than it was just moments ago.

“No, oh my god, what did I just do!” Celina can feel herself starting to panic, her breathing becoming difficult, “no, no, oh god, what have I done.”

Miles is behind her, Celina can feel his presence, though he doesn’t try to touch her again, “Celina, wait. You didn’t-.”

His sentence gets cut off by Celina’s loud sob, the loud noise startling both Honey and Miles, “I’m so stupid.”

Miles only tries to touch her arm once more, immediately retreating his arm when Celina moves away from his caress, “I’ll, I will go, alright? I’ll leave you alone, Celina.”

Celina hears his footsteps go to the door, her back still turned to him, “I’ll see you at the station.”

And with that he’s gone, the whole apartment suddenly feeling so much colder and quieter than it ever has.

Celina’s knees give out, her body collapsing on the floor next to her kitchen island.

Honey doesn’t waste a second, running as fast as her little legs let her towards Celina on the ground, sniffing to check what might be wrong.

“Oh, I’m so stupid, little lady. I just messed everything up,” Celina murmurs, unable to get the tears to stop.

A whine escapes Honey, the dog seemingly understanding what her owner is saying, rubbing her head against Celina’s face.

“I just did exactly what I told myself I would never do, because I’m greedy.”

It takes Celina another half an hour of just sitting on the floor, still dressed in the clothes she put on this morning, right before she ate the breakfast Miles made for her, pitying herself.

Honey doesn’t seem to mind, happy to receive endless pets and scratches, body pressed tightly against Celina’s leg to show support.

When Celina does finally get up, ready to quickly get through her night time routine and just collapse in bed, regardless of the fact that it’s only like 8 p.m., her eyes fall on a blanket on the back of the couch.

The blanket.

Miles’ blanket.

The one he always uses, even though he now sleeps in Lucy’s room and has an actual duvet to use when he sleep over.

It’s one Celina now associates with him, that has his scent all over it, one that Celina secretly snuggles into whenever he’s not in the apartment.

It’s that it hits her that she hasn’t been alone throughout the night in the apartment for weeks.

Miles is over all the time, she doesn’t even remember what it was like when she had to sleep here alone.

And now.

Now he’s not here.

For the first time in weeks, she’s not close to him.

Celina doesn’t even realise what she’s doing until she’s unlocking the door, overnight back in one hand and Honey on a leash on the other.

The steps they walked with Miles less than an hour ago feel weird now, Celina feeling like they’re laughing at her foolishness.

“Ready for another drive, girl?”

Honey now gets in the car much easier, jumping in almost as soon as Celina pats the seat, the plushie Miles bought for her in her mouth.

Celina drives the familiar drive she’s used to taking once a week, sometimes more, tears once again blurring her vision as she sits in the unbearable silence.

When the neighbourhood she’s so used to comes into view, Celina speeds up, perhaps a little over the limit, but she just needs to get to her destination.

Unloading Honey from the car is easy enough, the dog curious about yet another environment to sniff at so she jumps out willingly, letting Celina tug her through the driveway.

Celina barely holds back her sobs when she knocks on the heavy door of the house in front of her, palm resting on the wood as she looks down sniffling.

It only takes a moment for the door to fly open, worried Nolan revealed once it gets fully open.

“Celina?”

Just his simple way of saying her name with that tone of his makes tears start running down her face, the dam breaking.

“Can I please sleep over tonight?”