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It was one of those uncharacteristically slow days at the bakery. Minho was fidgety and tense for some reason, completely unlike his usual laidback self. He'd slept poorly and wasn't in the mood for much. He had been kneading dough all morning in the back, his hands itching for something to do. He just couldn't get Jisung off his mind today and was starting to get annoyed with himself. He was interested in Jisung, he really was, so much so that he was considering asking him out.
Jisung had never come out to him personally but the backpack he would come to work with after university was adorned by a rainbow enamel pin, as well as a couple of anime ones Minho had recognized when they first met. Jisung had started working at the bakery almost four months ago, and the two of them had clicked immediately. They studied different majors at the same university so they rarely crossed paths on campus and when they did, they didn't have much time to chat. Despite that, they always found something to talk about at work when left to their own devices, but even the rare silences shared between them were comfortable. So even if Jisung turned him down, Minho doubted it would be a big deal. He would be a bit disappointed, sure, but it wouldn't hurt their friendship or their work dynamic. Besides, there was a nonzero chance that Jisung would agree to go out on a date with Minho.
The only reason Minho was still hesitating was the mixed signals the younger had started giving him at some point. Jisung would stay close, sometimes until closing if Minho was also there, he'd keep the mood up, crack jokes and often ask Minho for help, even for simple tasks, all of which Minho interpreted as clear signs of enjoying his company and purposefully seeking proximity. Then Jisung would proceed to run cold and closed off by taking more time off work, choosing to do solo tasks, being on his phone during his shifts, speaking to Minho less and to other coworkers more, seemingly avoiding him. It was confusing. Every time Minho took a step forward, which was already hard enough because of the circumstances, he felt like Jisung took three steps back.
Last week Jisung had said he'd love to take an afternoon shift at the bakery with Minho so the older could teach him how to make the strawberry cheesecake, the one Jisung liked. It had made him a regular customer of the bakery way before Minho had even started working there, but then Jisung had taken a semester abroad in Malaysia, and when he was finally back for his favorite treat, Minho had already been working there for a couple of months and perfected it. The establishment itself had also grown, renting the empty office space next to it. Jisung seemed really excited to learn from Minho in particular, and not just because it was his favorite dessert. He was being given more and more complicated tasks the longer he was working at the bakery. It was a sign everyone there trusted him and invested their time and effort in teaching him because they hoped he would stick around for a long time. It's why it made no sense that he would just dip without a word that afternoon. Aside from being worried that something might've happened, Minho was the one who had to find him a last minute replacement. Thankfully Changbin was still there for some reason, so he just covered for Jisung. Now Minho owed him - something he'd never live down.
The sudden ring of the bell above the front door pulled Minho out of his thoughts. He forced his shoulders to relax. He knew he had to look approachable to clients, even if his frame was barely visible at the back and Felix was the one currently taking the orders and manning the cash register. One of the downsides of being conventionally attractive was that it also made Minho seem intimidating to most people already. Girls would rarely approach him to ask for his number if he happened to be waitering or clearing out tables, but they'd always sneak glances his way and whisper to each other about how handsome he was. He couldn't afford to look angry on top of that but then he heard the signature thud of Jisung's backpack behind the counter and his hands started working with even more vigor. Arms, shoulders and neck straining, Minho was now taking it all out on the poor ball of flour-covered dough.
"Hey.", the younger greeted curtly and walked right past him to the kitchen island to fetch his apron.
Minho hummed in acknowledgement without turning around. If he spoke, he was certain the words would fail him. Not that he wouldn't be able to get them out, but rather that he wouldn't be able to take them back. What would he even say to him? Jisung seemed to be going through the motions blissfully unaware of how his behavior was eating Minho on the inside. And yet, the older was opting to ignore it, battling his own hurt and indignation because he really liked Jisung. Badly enough to forgive him for it, and for way worse if he had to.
Minho had quickly grown fond of Jisung's shenanigans in the kitchen. Jisung was naturally funny and easily distracted but he also listened well, followed instructions in detail and had excellent memory. He was careful, yet still a bit clumsy but Minho was always there before true disaster struck. The older knew when to hang back and let Jisung handle himself and when to step in just before things escalated. It brought a thrill, a change and an unpredictability to a lovely but otherwise very repetitive, mostly manual job. Minho quickly found himself looking forward to going to work and excited to be there, and not just because he needed to make some money during his studies. He loved his other coworkers dearly too but there was just something so undeniably authentical and human about Jisung. He was a breath of fresh air. He was fun to be around and Minho always felt a strange compulsion to take care of him, but not the way he did of Changbin or even Felix. He'd be lying if he'd said he was satisfied with just being a good hyung to Jisung. He wanted some kind of reciprocity exclusively for himself, exactly because a part of him knew Jisung always got a special, custom-made and bow-wrapped version of Minho. That was the telltale sign for him that he had a thing for the younger.
And there were moments where he thought Jisung felt the same way - his actions had no other explanation to Minho. But before the older could do anything to set the scene, ask the question, say the words, Jisung would retreat and create space between them again. Like last month when Jisung himself had said, in front of everybody, that Minho made the job easier for him, and then chosen to share his morning shift with Felix instead the very next day. Back then, Minho didn't feel like he had the right to be upset, so he got over it. It wasn't like they had talked about taking the morning together. He'd blamed himself for not being assertive enough and not making his intentions clear. This time, though, they had actually planned it. Minho wasn't just upset, he was seething.
A moment after washing his hands, his footsteps indicated to Minho that the younger was approaching.
"Hyung, can you tie this on for me?", Jisung's voice cut through the silence.
Was he trying to break the tension, preparing to broach the topic? Act like nothing had happened because it wasn't a big deal to him? Or was he nervous, sensing that something was wrong but oblivious as to what?
Minho's black apron and his equally black tshirt underneath were still impeccable but he quickly obliged to the sudden urge to wipe the little bit of flour off his hands on them. He turned around to face a messy haired, slightly sweaty and rosy-cheeked Jisung, looking like he'd ran all the way here, and fumbling with the string of his own apron. The sight caught Minho off guard for a moment. Jisung didn't quite meet Minho's eyes before turning his back to the older, silently beckoning him to tie it.
It somehow pissed Minho off even more. This on-and-off thing they had going on, it riled Minho up much more than he'd ever admit and he was realizing it just now. Was Jisung really so unaware of it? He was actively making it harder for Minho to respond to him, to keep flipping the switch between closeness and distance at will, when all he really wanted was Jisung. Minho didn't want to restrain himself, to keep his gazes brief, to clasp his hands behind his back when he wanted to reach out, to choose less caring words, to stop his mind from wandering, to not let himself want.
Well, he wanted. He'd be damned if he didn't. An answer was the least he could get. He put his hands on Jisung's shoulders and spun him back around. The younger bit back a surprised yelp. Minho might've applied a bit more force than necessary, his hands expecting to be met with hard dough again. Jisung's eyes went wide as Minho's arms circled his waist in order to reach behind his back, fully caging him in. He didn't need to see the back to be able to tie it, so why wouldn't Jisung just do it himself if he didn't even want to look Minho in the eyes?
The younger grabbed Minho's arms just above the elbows to steady himself. Minho crossed the ends of the apron first, watching Jisung's face intently. He'd let go at the first sign of discomfort. He'd apologize and never cross the line again. Jisung had an unusually small waist, Minho had noticed. He moved him closer and tightened it so he could twist it into a bow, ignoring how Jisung's chest moved against him with his breaths. His surprise was still evident on his face, while Minho's expression remained focused and neutral. In reality, his stomach was doing backflips, his heart rabbiting. Once Minho was done tying the apron, he waited. For what? For Jisung to say something, to push him away, to shatter his hopes, to bring him down to earth?
"What's gotten into you today? Did the ice cream machine break again?", Jisung laughed nervously, his eyes searching Minho's. It was a pretty sound but not what the older had expected. What did he expect? What words did he want to hear?
"No. The rain ruined my morning run.", Minho answered simply. And it was true. It wasn't all there was to it, of course, but it actually wasn't a lie. He had been grumpy since the thunderstorm had woken him up at the ungodly hour of 5 in the morning The younger's hands fell limp by his side, releasing Minho from his grasp. He used the opportunity to turn his back to Jisung and continue with his mindless task. The last minute kept replaying in his mind.
"So you went to the gym instead?", Jisung's voice came from the same spot. He hadn't moved yet. He'd remembered Minho mentioning his gym membership - a birthday gift from Changbin - last week. The older hummed in the affirmative and willed the small-talk to end.
Minho wasn't embarrassed. He'd do the same move all over again as long as Jisung didn't stop him. But he was still silently fuming. He wore his heart on his sleeve at this point - doing all these things, trying to communicate his thoughts, his feelings, his intentions. To get something across. Anything. And he wasn't any closer to knowing how Jisung really felt. Minho couldn't get a read on him at all.
"I could tell.", Jisung mumbled but this time his feet moved with him and he opened the fridge, taking something small out and closing it right back.
"What?", Minho paused, letting the dough catch a break for a second. He'd probably overdone it long ago anyway, entirely forgetting to replace it with a new batch, and would know have to repurpose it. He was also sure he'd either misheard or misunderstood, Jisung's comment totally lost on him.
"Have you tried my pudding yet?", Jisung sounded like he wanted to add something but he didn't, not until Minho turned around again, this time not meeting his eyes but going straight for the small bowl Jisung had put on the other side of the kitchen island. He sauntered towards the younger like a dark cloud.
"Spoon.", he said calmly but it came out like an order nonetheless. Jisung didn't seem to mind in the slightest and shuffled around to fetch him one, almost dropping it on his way back. Minho plucked it out of his fingers and stuck it in the bowl unceremoniously.
"Changbin said it was one of the best things I've made in this kitchen.", a smug smile briefly grazed Jisung's face, "He said you'd love it."
And Changbin was right. It was good. Scratch that, it was great. Damn. Minho loved pudding, but even if he didn't, he'd still love this pudding. It was chilled right out of the fridge, perfectly smooth and creamy, a slightly yellowy color and a taste of vanilla and something else Minho couldn't put his finger on. It wasn't a lot - clearly a test batch, and the sides of the bowl were clean. Either Jisung had taken the time to wipe them down, or he'd mixed it by hand. Minho reached for a second spoonful.
"Hey! You have to tell me what you think first.", Jisung complained, as he pulled the bowl out of Minho's reach and stood in front of it, indirectly confronting Minho. The older rolled his eyes.
"I'm getting more. Doesn't that say enough? It's really good.", he mumbled a little petulantly before pulling it back and shoving another spoonful into his mouth. He didn't know how to make himself more clear than that.
"I'm glad you like it. You can finish it.", he said shyly and Minho's eyes shot up from the bowl. His questioning expression wasn't prompted by anything to do with his own ability to eat the remaining pudding, but rather by the fact that Jisung had offered in the first place. He'd made it himself, without even telling Minho, and he'd asked Changbin to try it before offering all of it to Minho. Jisung didn't do that a lot. Not at all. It was always Minho who did that for him.
"Listen, I-", Jisung took a deep breath, "I actually made it for you."
The words were like an arrow through the heart and Minho's already looked like a well-loved practice target.
"What have I done?", Minho laughed on an exhale of his own, like he'd been complimented. Others would think he was trying to be humble but he really didn't know what to expect from Jisung anymore.
"It's more so what I've done. You always make those cheesecakes for me.", Jisung shrugged, "And I wanted to say thank you. And sorry. For skipping that shift last week. For making you take care of me so often."
He laughed dryly.
Minho was still processing the words and despite that he felt himself begin to nod slowly, "At least you're self-aware."
Minho thought this was it, that the conversation was over and that little would change after it. But he was almost ready to turn a blind eye for now. Jisung surprised him by continuing.
"I just get really nervous around you and start making stupid mistakes in the kitchen-", Jisung settled on scratching the back of his head and staring at his shoes.
"And why is that?", Minho furrowed his eyebrow, now nervous himself.
"I almost dropped the mixer when you asked me to bring it to the big table a few days ago. I put way too much sugar in the last batch of cookies you were helping me with. Forgot to take that blueberry pie out of the oven on time.", Jisung started rambling and Minho wondered if he was just imagining the faint blush grazing the younger's ears. Jisung had been very clumsy these days, Minho just hadn't paid much attention to it because he didn't mind. But what he did notice was Jisung ignoring his question.
"Why, Jisung?", he repeated, making himself clear.
"I don't want this to sound like I'm blaming you for me being a mess, because that's all my doing but... I really love working with you, you help me patch things up when I mess up. You make it all okay. Chan would've fired me halfway through my second week if it weren't for you.", his head hung low as Minho tried to recall the events of that particular week and came up empty, "I just got cold feet about the shift last week. I thought I would say or do something stupid in front of you again. But me totally dipping without any kind of notice was worse and unfair to you. I asked Changbin to stay. I already made it up to him too."
"Okay-"
"You're just really kind and hot and you're so good at baking and you do nice things for me all the time and I- I lose my shit around you for some reason.", he blurted.
Minho's brain was buffering and then he was saying, "I like you too, Jisung."
"Sorry, what?", Jisung rasped out and his eyes shot up to Minho's. For a second it crossed his mind that he might've misunderstood Jisung again, but it didn't matter. He had to say it eventually, why not in a moment of honesty and vulnerability?
"I like you.", Minho repeated firmly. And to his own surprise, the effect was instant. He watched Jisung stop in his tracks - rare for the younger. His eyes widened ridiculously. Something began insistently tugging at the left corner of his lips. He shook his head in disbelief, messing his hair up in the process, as if trying to wake up from a trance.
"I like you too. Oh my god. Shit, you're great. Really.", he swore under his breath, "I've never wanted to be a piece of dough so bad."
The older's eyebrows shot up, "What?"
"I can't believe I said that out loud.", Jisung hid his face in his hands, "That's literally what I was talking about!"
Minho laughed and Jisung thought himself blessed to be able to hear it, to be the cause of it.
"There's a free afternoon shift this Friday. Wanna take it with me? For real this time?", Minho asked with his best puppy eyes.
"Yes. I'll warn Changbin I might break something.", he considered it before adding, "Please take me out afterwards."
"We can't eat baked goods all day anyway.", Minho couldn't help the smile creeping up his face but this wasn't the only resolution he'd wanted so he kept going, "Don't worry about slip-ups, okay? I don't care. As long as you're here."
"Felix said you'd say the same thing.", he pointed out and Minho's face split into a wider grin.
"He knows me well, then... But seriously, though? We've all messed up and I promise you it's only embarrassing in the beginning. Anything will turn into a funny story within a few weeks, tops.", he leaned closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You know how the smaller coffee machine in the breakroom sometimes starts whirring super loudly for no reason? And Changbin jokes it'll take off and fly away? That was all me, knocking it over in my first month on the job."
"No fucking way."
"The cash register only closing when you push it in with full force now?", Minho continued, "Felix hit it with his head on his way up because he dropped a quarter like three days ago."
"I knew it! It was so much easier to push before!", Jisung beamed, then turned jokingly serious, "Come to think of it, Felix's head was also shaped differently..."
Minho snorted.
"I like your company and want you around. Don't grow cold on me like that, okay?", and Jisung was nodding vigorously before Minho made sure to add, "Now go get the milk from the fridge while I finish this pudding."