Chapter Text
Edward was sitting in my bedroom, his messy bronze hair lying relaxed on my pillow. The only thing keeping us apart? An old quilt that my mom found at a thrift store, half price.
And I was in the bathroom.
It was late, at least about three, maybe four o'clock. The old clock and the bathroom said five, but I couldn't hear any birds yet, so it couldn’t be later than four.
I could hear Charlie snoring in her bedroom on the other side of the wall, watched the mirror shake as she moved, shifting her bed.
It had been eight months since I moved to Forks, six since I nearly died and two since I got rid of my cast.
And life was fine. Safe. No random gangs of men or rogue vans or evil vampires just…peace.
So why was I trembling? Why was I staring blankly into the sink? And why was I thinking about her?
Maybe it is just a human thing, in reality danger doesn't just disappear. But in my reality, I heard mine die and superman watches me sleep.
So why?
It was hard to think, hard to focus, hard to do anything.
I just wanted to get a pill.
If I stayed in here too long Edward would notice.
Shit.
How long have I been in here?
I opened the mirror cabinet, just behind my toothpaste, under my brush. Sleeping pills.
I took two with lukewarm water only to remember I had to be up in about four hours for school. It was worth it I guess.
One hour is better than none. And any sleep was needed.
I didn't need to hide my new habit, at least that was what I told myself. I hid them for the same reason I hide everything—because they don’t need to know.
You never tell a cop more than they need to know and I practically lived with two of them.
Charlie wouldn't be able to understand and Edward… he already had to wait for me in the hospital, help me when I could barely walk.
He didn’t need to help me with this too. I was fine, I can handle this. It was just sleep.
I tiptoed down the wooden hall and slipped back into my room. It was dark, the only real light, the dim glow of the moon through my window but it felt like even that was enough for me to see Edward's pale face as he lazily lay just over my quilt.
“Are you okay?” He whispered softly against my hair as I slipped into bed.
“It was just a nightmare,” I mumbled, folding my arms against myself.
“You were crying,” his lips were on my ear, I could feel the weight of his body shift against my back, hard and heavy.
“S-shut up.” I stuttered making him laugh silently.
It was quiet, it felt quiet. My radio hummed just low enough for me to hear it but I barely noticed it. As his finger left a trail on the outline of my shape and he purred, “Happy birthday,” into my ear.
Minutes, seconds, hours, all of it fainted and disappeared all at once and it was morning.
It was a quiet morning, it took me a while to get up constantly jumping in and out of sleep until I heard the front door slam.
I stretched and sat at the edge of my bed, the house always felt cold when I was awake.
Maybe it was because I was alone.
To be honest I preferred it like this, preferred time to myself but…
Why did I feel so lonely? What was different about me now?
I looked over at my radio, a small white card sat on top with ‘Happy birthday’ written in his perfect handwriting.
I couldn't help but smile, I didn't want him to talk about it. To think about it, but I was smiling and I couldn’t hate it.
Birthdays were tricky for me, not enough friends for a party but enough to notice when nobody remembers.
I hated that feeling, it's fine to know you don't matter but it sucks to hear it being shouted at you.
So I avoided it, stayed home. Went to the movies. Went to bed early. If the world doesn't care about my birthday then I will spend it apart from it.
Charlie left a gift bag in my usual chair in the kitchen next to a box of lucky charms, I bypassed it. Poured the cereal into a cup and then coffee into that.
It was horrible, but I downed it on my way to the door.
It was a nice day, a nice day for Forks at least. It wasn't raining, just gray. Too much to ask for sun too, not that I wanted the sun out.
It didn't click into my head that I was going to school, that I would be around a bunch of people.
That I wouldn't be alone.
I want to go home.
“Are you still tired?” Edward's voice broke me out of my thoughts and suddenly he was there leaning against my window, pressing a cold hand against my forehead.
And the noise of the busy park lot came in all at once, like a gust of wind.
“Not really,” I said quickly, opening the door. “I mean it was hard with a certain someone whispering into my ear while I was trying to sleep.”
He gave a crooked smile, opening it more and slipping into the open door, “who would do such a thing?” He teased.
“A stalker.”
“A stalker,” he mocked in a teasing voice. He said, hinging his hand on the roof and leaning his body nearly between my legs. “Did you by chance catch what he said?”
“Only a little,”
He leaned closer to me and I could feel his breath on my face, “only a little? Sounds as if you need it repeated.”
“Funny because I remember telling him not to say it at all.”
Edward gave me a small kiss on the lips, “such an evil creature.”
For a second it felt like we were floating in a small bubble tight and impossible to see through. It didn't matter that we were at school or that anyone could see us kiss and then I felt a small sliver box slide into my hands.
“What is…?” I mouthed a bit confused.
“It's from Arthur,” he pointed at the spikey boy patiently waiting for us on the other side of the truck.
I gave him a look. He gave me a small, pitiful look. I sighed, calling out, “Arthur I said no gifts.”
Arthur poked His head into the passenger’s window, “Yes, well, I assumed that rule applied only to Edward, given that your father sent you a scrapbook and Charlie has given you a camera,” He admitted plainly.
I looked back at him and he looked back at me with large innocent eyes, “It would be difficult to throw you a party without any gifts.”
I gave him a small look and he corrected, “we have all already brought your gifts.”
I looked at Edward and he gave me an innocent look. “I haven’t spent a dime.”
And I sighed and Edward moved, letting me out.
“Did you like them?” Arthur continued as we walked.
“Haven't seen them yet,” I stretched a bit.
“I apologize for ruining the surprise.”
I shrugged. Of course Arthur knew. And it's not like I wanted the surprise. “Can you help me study tonight?” I said looking over to Edward.
“Again?” He teased me. “You've barely opened the book for yourself.”
“it's easier to understand when you read it,” I mumbled under my breath.
We slid into the back row. Edward on one side, Nia on the other.
Her braids were tied back today. Her hoodie a homemade crop top with a long sleeve shirt underneath.
“Happy birthday, dude,” she whispered, sliding a CD across the desk.
I glanced at it. Britney Spears.
“Seriously?”
“That’s what you get for not telling me,” she said. “Enjoy your day off.”
“Whatever,” I muttered, but I kept it.
I worked at her family’s bakery. Mostly stayed quiet, washed stuff, took orders. It was simple.
At first it was just something to do. Then it became about saving for college. Eventually it just became habit.
I didn't want to go to college, I didn't need the money outside of gas but I liked the time away from everything that mattered.
It was a reminder, a reset, I was human and this is how I would spend the rest of my life.
A character in someone else's day they won't remember.
And that idea was both uncomfortable and tempting, it told me that like Edward, like the Cullens, I could also disappear.
That maybe it was some vampire power, the ability to be breathtakingly beautiful and completely forgettable.
I rubbed the scar on my hand without thinking. Tempting to give up everything just for the chance I wouldn't forget him like the rest.
‘I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel’
The tick of a clock.
‘Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded.’
The sound of birds in the distance.
‘Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.’
The muted hum of the TV.
“Michael?”
“Hmm?” I mumbled, not looking up.
Edward’s wry smile cut through the silence. “There’s no point in me studying this alone.”
There was no point in him studying at all, he didn't even bother to look at the book while he quoted it.
“Right, sorry, I was just, um, thinking?” I said stretching a bit while getting up from the floor.
“Did you understand that passage?” He asked, putting the book down beside him on the sofa.
“Yeah?”
He stretched his arms out pulling me onto his lap, “Really?”
“He was only bad ‘cause the world made him bad?” I said, like I was asking.
He laughed lightly, brushing his cold hand against my cheek before softly kissing my lips, “correct.”
It was so normal, it felt so normal to be close to him like this. But it wasn't not really, I could still feel the unnatural hardness of his body under his jeans, his sweater. Feel his frozen hands tracing down my temple then my jaw.
Part of me hated this feeling, this perfect piece that made my head empty because I hated not being prepared for the worse. But when he was kissing my neck it was easy to forget…everything.
“Mikey?” Charlie's voice felt like it came out of a vacuum. Both loud and muted causing me to jump and look at Edward who for a chance seemed equally shocked freezing in place as I turned to face a very red Charlie.
“H-Hey mom…” was all I could say as I nearly fell off of Edward, who for his credit was still holding me in place.
“I'll just…” She barely got a word out before covering her face and nearly jogging out of the room.
The moment she was out of sight I turned to Edward.
Only for him to cover the smile on his face with his hand and shyly admit, “I was preoccupied.”
I quickly jumped to my feet and jogged behind her to the kitchen, “Sorry we were um, so pizza?” my eyes landed on a pizza box next to a gift bag.
“Yup, happy birthday,” she was staring down at the table.
“Right,” I muttered awkwardly, grabbing a slice, “Thanks.”
She let out another sigh, “Look I know you're…” she paused before finally saying, “you're seve—eighteen I don't expect you to be the pope…”
The pope?
“But, um, be careful and, um…” She paused completely before awkwardly handing me the bag, adding, “I got you a camera, and the rest of the crap is from your dad.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“There’s money in the card,” she said casually before quickly adding, "Your friend Arty picked the camera so it's his fault if it sucks."
“Okay,” I mumbled, taking out the cash. Fifty bucks, not bad. “Thanks.”
She sat down, “So, um, big plans?”
“Not really.”
She frowned slightly. “Really?”
“It’s not like we can get into a club.” I shrugged lightly.
Her face snapped back to me with an anxious look.
“And I wouldn't try.” I teased lightly.
“Actually do you mind if I borrow Michael for the evening?" Edward asked Charlie as he walked in.
Charlie looked over at me and I shrugged before she answered.
"My show’s on tonight.” She tossed Edward the camera from the bag, “make some use of it.”
"Yes ma'am," Edward responded like a boy scout making Charlie roll her eyes.
He smiled, sliding the camera into my hand and I turned it to him, snapping the first picture. "It works."
“Okay, have fun.” Charlie said dismissively, walking towards the living room. “And common sense,” she added absentmindedly.
I waited until she was out of sight. I put the camera down , “So what are we doing?”
“Nothing too much, Arthur wanted to have a small get together to celebrate the occasion.”
“What occasion?” I asked, grabbing a slice of pizza, “Did Emma and Oliver come back from Africa?”
“Yes, they did.” He said slowly, picking back up the camera. “And they wish for you to be there specifically.”
I laughed awkwardly, “Emma maybe.”
“Oliver included,” he corrected lightly. “They came back early just to assure they wouldn't miss the day.”
“The day of what?” I folded my arms.
He gave me a small, patient smile. “Michael.”
“I said no parties.”
“You said no gifts,” he corrected gently.
“Parties are included.” I bit into the pizza.
Edward didn’t respond right away. His fingers began to tap softly against the side of the camera, just once, then again, a quiet rhythm that didn’t match the calm in his voice.
“I’ve done nothing but what you’ve asked all day—no gifts, no acknowledgment,” he said lightly, though his tapping continued for a few more beats before stilling as he stepped closer. He lifted a hand, cold fingers brushing through my hair before letting it fall again.
“I don't want a party.”
“It will be nothing but a small gathering, full of only familiar faces,” He pressed.
“Is it a party?”
“Barely.” He let out an exasperated sigh.
“Then I don't want it—”
“Is it selfish for me to want to value you?” He interpreted me.
“Don’t try to-” I started but he cut me off again.
“It is just one day Michael, a few hours of your time, when it is over we can do whatever you wish.” He leaned down pressing his cold forehead against mine, “only this once I give you my word.”
Then he leaned down and kissed my ear and whispered, “Please.”
I wanted to talk but my voice felt tight in my chest, he seemed to notice this running a cold finger down my neck making me shiver.
“S-stop,” I finally got out in one breath.
“Then will you come?” He sounded excited.
“You really want this...”
“We haven’t celebrated a birthday since nineteen-thirty-five,” he smiled.
It was hard to say no, even hard with Edward. He was perfect.
So I could go to the party, I could smile and I could act like I give a damn just long enough that we could spend the rest of the night together and I can forget about all of this for another year.
The drive felt long, we always took my truck mostly because the sixty miles per hour cap limited the amount edward could speed.
Of course, he still tried making my engine scream in pain with every mile.
“Hey!” I yelled.
“You know what you’d love?” he ignored me. “An Audi coupe. Quiet. Powerful. Working radio.”
“My radio works,” I folded my arms and he turned it on, drowning out the engine with static before cutting it off again.
“It works, maybe it's the crappy oldies station.”
Edward scoffed, “that station has worked perfectly since nineteen-sixty-eight.”
“Then…” I started for a second before quietly saying, “you're messing with me aren't you?”
“Of course not,” he smirked. “Simply making conversation while you prepare for a birthday party as if it's a funeral.”
“Shut up,” I grumbled.
“If I knew you would be this unhappy I wouldn't have pushed.” He continued.
“If you knew I didn't want to go, why did you push?” I shot back.
He stayed quiet for a while before softly admitting, “They were very excited.”
“Then I didn’t have a choice,” I sighed.
He tapped the wheel. “I would not have physically forced you.”
In other words he wouldn't have let it go.
I sighed, “Look, can we just drop it? I don't care about this but if you need it to be a big deal then it's fine, let's just get this over with.”
“Have you always hated your birthday?” He asked suddenly.
“I wouldn't say, hate it.” I said under my breath.
“What would you say then?” He pressed.
“It's just…” I couldn't get the words out and finally asked, “why do you want to celebrate it? I mean you haven't celebrated since the thirties right?” What makes this so special?
He paused for a while before quietly admitting, “I simply don't want to miss the opportunity.”
‘Miss the opportunity’
In other words, our time was limited. It's funny, we never had a lot of time. I never once had the benefit of assuming we could be like this, forever.
But since phoenix, since Jane… it feels like everything we do is just a silent request to make saying goodbye easier.
Nine months, maybe twelve. A shelf life of eighteen.
I just ran my hand down my seatbelt on the slightly jagged side of the door handle before thinking about it and moving it to the soft mesh net stapled to the door.
“Michael,” his voice sounded like a whisper, a soft coo that always made me melt.
“What?” I mumbled under my breath.
“What's on your mind?” He asked in the same voice.
I stayed quiet for a while and he started to tap lightly.
“Nothing,” I said flatly.
“You are a terrible liar,” he teased.
“And you're terrible at reading a room,” I teased back.
“And what is the room thinking?”
We turned the corner and I saw the house.
It was glowing. Like—glowing. Light poured out of every window like they’d been waiting all day for this exact moment. The smell of roses hit me like a brick wall. Lanterns flickered between the trees, making me wonder if W.B. Yeats had been talking about vampires instead of fairies.
“I want to go home.” I said sarcastically.
In that second Arthur appeared, “You came!”
“Arthur, you were meant to decorate for a small party, not a village,” Edward said mocking anger, as I opened my door.
“Yes and you were meant to be here at seven it's nearly eight.” he replied with a pout.
“Are you Elton John?” Edward held the bridge of his nose, “I could smell the decor from mainstreet.”
“Cora said it smells heavenly.” He stuck his tongue out.
“Can we just go in?” I finally said defeatedly.
They both smiled, dragging me gently toward the house.
As soon as we walked in I knew I’d made a terrible mistake.
They all sang, “Happy birthday, Michael!” like a choir.
I flinched. The camera slipped, but Edward caught it—and me, before I walked back out.
Arthur, because of course it was him, had covered every flat surface with blue candles and crystal bowls overflowing with roses. Too many roses. The table, absolutely covered with silver-wrapped presents and a cake in the center with very familiar hand writing on it.
So Nia made it great.
Edward never let go, moving me from person to person while I smiled when I was supposed to. I couldn't tell if he thought I was going to crack or just liked dragging me around, maybe both.
Cora smiled, giving me a soft hug, “we truly apologize for all of this.”
Ezra came to her side, “we truly did try to stop him.”
“But he looked so happy,” Cora looked over at Arthur who was adding more roses to a bowl. “He even came with me to get the cake from your job.”
“You didn't have to,” I mumbled under my breath and Cora just softly petted my cheek with a cold hand before disappearing into the kitchen.
While I slid into the first seat I could find, the small stool by the piano.
“Are you going to play?” Edward whispered into my ear, as he handed me a small cup of water from the kitchen.
“No,” I laughed.
“A shame, I would have loved to hear your rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” he teased lightly, sitting beside me and playing a few soft notes.
“You're an asshole,” I leaned back on him, he chuckled lightly, playing Für Elise before it slowly transitioned to Happy Birthday, making me jump up.
Just in time for Emma and Oliver to walk in.
Emma appeared in front of me in seconds, “You haven’t changed a bit,” Emma said, petting my head with a smile. “I was hopin’ for a growth spurt, but you’re still just a squirt.”
“How was Africa?” I asked with a small laugh.
"I bagged me a croc," she whispered, showing all of her teeth.
“Cool?” I raised an eyebrow unsure if that was good or not.
“It tasted like piss,” Oliver added walking over.
“I told you reptiles were disgusting.” Edward said mockingly to Emma.
“It was a challenge,” Emma smirked, smacking her bicep.
“It was the waste of a life,” Ezra added, folding his arms.
“Remember that time Arthur drained a snake?” Edward leans over to Hazel and they both laugh lightly.
“Enough of that,” Cora said, clapping her hands, “Michael can't stay all night, time for gifts.”
They all disappeared in seconds and Edward softly guided me to the table with the cake and gifts.
“Jeez, um, thanks?” I said looking at all of the stuff. “You really didn't have to.”
“I know,” he beamed, pulling me into a quick hug. “But it was necessary.” He swapped my camera for a big silver box. “Open it.”
It was so light it barely felt like anything. The tag said it was from Emma, Oliver, and Hazel. I peeled the paper off slowly, trying not to rush it.
Mostly because I was scared I might drop or break it. I had no clue what it was, there was no picture, not even a hint, just a string of numbers.
I opened the lid.
Empty.
“It’s a stereo system,” Edward whispered into my ear, making Oliver laugh for the first time that night.
“We put it in.” He added with a small smirk, “to assure you can't return it.”
I nodded. “Right. Thanks.”
“That was my suggestion,” Arthur said beside me.
“It wasn’t that bad,” I mumbled.
“It was,” Edward said flatly. He handed me a smaller box. “Open mine next.”
I glanced up at him and he looked away.
“Edward…” I muttered under my breath.
Edward kissed the top of my head and tucked a hair behind my ear, “I didn't spend a cent.” He whispered, cold fingers brushing my skin.
I exhaled slowly and turned back to Arthur. “Alright, give it here.”
My fingers were clumsy. I peeled the tape carefully. Not because I cared about the gift. Just to give them their moment.
Then—sting.
I didn’t even feel it at first.
Then I saw the blood.
Of course.
Of course it would be something this small. One paper cut, and everything started spiraling.