Archive of Our Own

The rain caught Yuki by surprise. 

She tended to check the weather forecast in the morning purely out of habit, because she knew no one else in their squad would and she’d rather be prepared for any possibility. This time though, she wasn’t even sure whether she forgot to check it or if it was simply one of those times nature had decided to play a prank on them. 

When the first raindrops fell from the sky Yuki was in her usual spot, sitting on the bench next to the path leading to the arena, intending on spending her free time tinkering with her MePad as she often would. While the device itself was waterproof, getting soaked in the rain still wasn’t particularly pleasant… and she’d look rather dumb if she just stayed there. So, her only option was to relocate. Her first thought was the library, but… because of the weather, a lot of people would probably flee inside, and even that sort of place attracted some noisy individuals sometimes.

So, Yuki directed her steps towards the place she thought would most likely be empty, since the only people ever going there were the members of her squad… that being the studio. It was a little farther away, but if she hurried she could definitely reach it before it started raining even harder.

She’d expected it to be empty but when she arrived at the studio she could see through the glass in the door that the lights were on. If someone was already there, then it meant that Yuki would be the one intruding on them… She didn’t have much choice but to go inside though, even if just to wait the rain out. Well, knowing them, her friends from 31-A generally wouldn’t mind her company… still, she tried to slip inside as quietly as she could-

-but froze the moment she was inside. The sounds of an acoustic guitar and quiet humming filled her ears, and Yuki immediately knew who she had intruded on. 

There’s no way I can just go down there now and announce I’m here! 

It didn’t seem like Ruka had noticed her yet, too absorbed in her own little world to pay attention to anything else. So, Yuki quietly sat down on the first step of the stairs leading down and simply watched and listened. She felt a little bad about it, it was like she was eavesdropping after all, but… she couldn’t bring herself to interrupt Ruka. The girl was sitting on the floor, an open notebook and something that looked like a simple recording device placed within her reach. The melody she was playing was definitely not something Yuki had ever heard before, but it seemed like a work in progress rather than an old song, as Ruka would stop quite often to press some button on the recorder or write something down in the notebook. Her singing was quiet, as if she still wasn’t sure what exactly the lyrics should be, and Yuki couldn’t really make out the words from up there, but… even this was enough to make her simply sit there and admire Ruka, mesmerized. 

Yuki really couldn’t help it. Ruka’s songs were the first thing Yuki ever knew about her after all, before learning that not only her voice was beautiful but also her face, before meeting her and realizing she was nothing like Yuki had imagined her to be. She'd faced that realization with disappointment at first, then looked back on it fondly later, when she came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a bad thing at all, because for some damn reason the cool and collected Kayamori Ruka she remembered seeing through the screen couldn’t even compare to the loud, somewhat childish Ruka she knew now and who was always driving Yuki insane but at the same time never failed to make her smile… because there was so much more charm to her than just her singing voice and good looks.

These thoughts appeared in her head against her will, and she was beginning to think she had some serious issues. But it’s not like she could just delete them off her mind, not when the person causing them was sitting a mere couple of meters away from her. 

Perhaps in her frustration with herself Yuki let out some sound (maybe she’d exhaled too loudly), because suddenly Ruka stopped in her tracks, raised her head and looked right in Yuki’s direction. 

“Oh, Yukkie! How long have you been here?” she asked, her eyes widening in surprise. 

“Just a moment… Sorry, I didn't mean to spy on you or anything,” Yuki mumbled. “It started raining when I was outside trying to do some programming, so I thought I'd hide here for a while… I didn't expect anyone to be here. I didn't want to interrupt you either…”

“No need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong,” Ruka replied with a smile. “You really could've just said you're here though! Come down here, it looks like it's gonna rain for a while and the couch is probably more comfortable than the stairs.”

“Huh? Well…”

“Hmm? What is it?” the girl prompted Yuki when she trailed off. “Are you still worried about interrupting me? It's fine, it's fine. You said you wanted to do some programming, and I'm just doing some song writing. We can both just do our things in the same room.”

“Is this really fine with you…?” Yuki asked hesitantly. She had assumed that since Ruka came there by herself, she wanted to be alone…

“Mhm. I'm always happy to spend some time with Yukkie, even if we're doing different things,” Ruka replied cheerfully, and the fact that Yuki could tell the girl was being genuine made her face feel a little warmer. 

“A-Alright then…” She accepted the offer; it'd be weirder if she didn't after all. So, she got up and walked down the stairs. “You said you're writing a song… something for the band?”

“Nuh-uh. We're always doing that together, remember?” Ruka reminded her. “I like it better that way, being in a band is a group activity after all.” 

“Then…?” 

“Well, you know… Sometimes a girl just wants to make something for herself,” she said, her gaze moving back to the guitar she was holding. There was something in her tone telling Yuki there was more to it, but… asking about it would be prying into things that didn't concern her, right? 

“Then I especially feel like I shouldn't be here…” Yuki sighed, but still sat down on the couch.

“I already said it's fine, so stop worrying,” Ruka repeated. “I love music and Yukkie is also very dear to me, so I'm happy to share my music with you… if you're willing to listen.”

How could I not be willing…? Wait, wait, what was the other thing she just said!? How am I supposed to react to that!?

The smartest thing would probably be to not react to that at all, because Yuki was painfully aware she wasn't good at hiding her own feelings, and Ruka didn't really look like she expected any response aside from Yuki agreeing to listen to her. 

“Okay then…” she muttered, taking out her MePad. Really, if she thought about it, it wasn’t a big deal. She was in the same band as Ruka, she heard her sing and play live all the time, both during practice and on stage. Yuki even contributed to writing the songs too… and she'd gotten quite decent at playing the drums as well. By all means, they were on equal ground now. 

She wasn’t sure if she could ever stop looking at Ruka through the eyes of a fan though, and this… felt much more personal than listening to her as a part of a group or a crowd.

“Time for some BGM then!” the girl said happily, turning her attention back to her instrument, most likely completely unaware of Yuki's dilemmas. 

Then, for the second time that day, an unfamiliar but beautiful melody filled Yuki’s ears.

She really tried her best to focus on the screen of the device in her hands, but the moment Ruka opened her mouth and began to sing, Yuki knew those efforts were futile. It’s not like she never worked while keeping She is Legend’s songs in the background, but when hearing a song by your favorite artist for the first time it was normal to want to listen more closely, right? Besides… It was a rare opportunity to hear Ruka sound like that. Her usual genre was rock after all, and this… was more of a gentle ballad, with even the lyrics sounding soothing and more positive than what they usually made together. Yuki didn't doubt that Ruka was capable of writing a song like that too though– she wasn't deemed a genius for nothing after all. 

So, she gave in, closed her eyes and just listened to the voice she loved so much. 

She ended up feeling so at peace that she didn't even realize when the other girl fell silent. 

“Yukkie's hands stopped moving a while ago,” Ruka said in a teasing tone, bringing her back to reality. 

“H-Huh? Oh…” Yuki muttered. “I suppose I was caught up in listening once again.”

“Eeh? Seems like this deal isn't working out and I'm making you the opposite of productive,” Ruka replied, not sounding sorry in the slightest. 

“...That's exactly what you were hoping for, isn't it?”

“My intentions were as pure as my heart!”

“That's not very reassuring,” Yuki noted with a frown.

“Even if that’s the case, it's not my fault that Yukkie is so easily distracted. What happened to your willpower? I thought you were stronger than that,” Ruka said, and Yuki really didn't have anything to say in response that wouldn't be extremely embarrassing. Before she could even form any response though Ruka spoke again, smiling at her. “But… it does make me a little happy.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because it means you liked my song just that much. Of course I'm happy.”

Like that’s anything new to you! You know well I was your fan, so you’re just taking advantage of that! Yuki thought, hoping the blush on her face wasn’t too visible. 

“W-Well… Of course I liked it,” she said instead, trying to push her embarrassment aside. “It was different from what I’d usually hear from you, so I couldn’t help but listen closely…”

“Hmm, you might be right. But doesn’t the rain just get you in a mood like this?” Ruka replied softly, her hand returning to her instrument and moving over the strings lightly, making barely audible sounds. “It’s like the whole world falls into a slumber. It makes you want to be gentle, to not disturb that peace.” 

“...Sometimes you say things that make you sound stupidly cool,” Yuki admitted reluctantly. Considering Ruka’s childish demeanor one might think she’d be bored on a rainy day, but at this point Yuki knew better than to expect the obvious from her.

“Well, weaving words into something beautiful was sort of my job after all!”

“Too bad it doesn’t show on a daily basis.”

“Eeeeh? But then it would lose all impact, right? If I was cool all the time you’d get used to it and nothing would impress you anymore, and I still want you to think I'm cool at least sometimes!” the girl complained. 

There’s no way I could just get used to it so easily, so maybe it’s better that it’s impossible.

“Well, whether Yukkie thinks I’m cool or not, I’m still happy you liked my song,” Ruka added cheerfully. “It showed on your face, too.”

“...It sounded like you’re in a good mood, so I guess it affected me too.”

Ruka’s eyes seemed to widen a little at that, but the smile remained on her lips.

“It seemed different than what you were playing when I first entered the studio though…” Yuki continued, a little curious about that. 

“Oh, you noticed that too. That's because I just made it up on the spot.”

“Huh?!”

“I’m in a really good mood because I get to spend time with Yukkie, so I made it up on the spot just for you,” Ruka clarified, but that explanation just made everything even worse.

“What do you mean just for me?!”

“I mean just for you,” she repeated, frowning a little. “What's wrong, Yukkie? I thought you liked it.” 

“Me liking it or not is not the issue…” Yuki said weakly. It's the fact that you're singling me out like this… “Please, tell me you at least recorded it…”

“Nope. Why would I?”

So I'm not really the only one who ever hears it! I'm honored, but I feel like it shouldn't be like that!

“I'm pretty good at memorizing my songs, so if you ever want to hear it again, you only have to ask and I'll sing it for you,” Ruka added, once again, completely oblivious to the reason Yuki was freaking out.

“Why only me?!” 

“Because I came up with it for you. Well, I don't mind if others hear it too, but… Why do you look so upset? Should I have not?” she asked, looking more and more puzzled. “I thought you'd be happy about it…”

“It's not that I'm not happy…” Yuki said awkwardly. It was the truth, she really was. But she also didn't know how to cope with it. “I feel like it's not fair for me to monopolize you like this…”

“But isn't it the other way around? I'm the one monopolizing you, aren't I? Why are you hoarding all the responsibility? Give some to me!”

“What are you even talking about?!” 

“I’m not completely sure, but I’m not sure what Yukkie’s issue is either!” Ruka admitted with unwavering confidence. “Besides, this isn’t even the first song that was for your ears only!” 

“Not the first…?” Yuki repeated hesitantly. “You mean, that time…?”

Ruka said that in the same casual tone as everything else, but… she had to mean that time when they had just found out about… what they really were, and neither of them really knew where they should go from that point. What to do with themselves. Yuki still remembered well how terrifying that feeling was, there was no way she could ever forget… but then, there was Ruka, singing her song, and no matter how much Yuki doubted herself… she simply knew someone who could put so much soul into what she was doing couldn’t be a mere fake, and that meant that she herself wasn’t one, either. 

With something so simple, Ruka had given her the hope she needed to face another day, and another, and another, an endless streak of new days. The hope to believe they’d be fine as long as they had each other. 

Even if back then Ruka at first also had no idea she was even there, that memory was very dear to her heart.

“Mhm,” Ruka muttered. “Remember how we tried to use it for a music video but the girls kept interrupting us? It wasn’t even the first time something like that happened… It made me realize most people simply don’t get it. You know, the type of lyrics I sing sometimes and all… I mean, it’s a form of art? Even if the words are an expression of feelings, it shouldn’t all be taken literally… but it’s hard to explain that sometimes. But, you can write a line about wanting to die without actually planning your suicide, right?! It’s the same as writing love songs without actually being in love! If anything, writing one when you’re in love feels harder to pull off?! It’s the same principle!” 

Yuki perhaps wasn’t the most artistic person around, but she understood as much. Maybe it came with the experience of having written lyrics herself too, but… she had learned it was fine to just go with the flow when it came to something like that. Rather than the literal meaning of the words, music was about the emotions it carried... Yuki was under the impression that the rest of their little band should get that as well; if everything they wrote was to be taken literally they'd probably look like a bunch of lunatics after all. 

Wait, there probably already are people who think of us like that!

“So, I think it’s fine if some songs are only heard by Yukkie. Sometimes it's nice to sing not as Kayamori Ruka of She is Legend, for everyone to hear, but just as Ruka, for someone special to me,” the girl continued, giving her a soft smile. “Because you always seem to get it. Back then, and now too.” 

This… sounded like gratitude. 

Yuki was always doing her best to understand her, of course. She would be lying if she said it wasn't a lot of work, because Ruka could be completely incomprehensible at times and everyone always seemed to expect Yuki to keep her in check anyway, but… it wasn't just that she had to do it, she wanted to. Yuki wanted Ruka to know she had someone she could always lean on. But-

If there was any time she thought she could feel what Ruka felt, it was when she was singing. If she wasn't putting conscious effort into it, did she really deserve this sort of acknowledgement?

Yuki didn't know. She didn't know how to process all the feelings Ruka was making her feel either. She had probably never felt this conflicted in her life. She was happy, but-

“You're making that face again,” Ruka said, her smile turning into a pout. “What's up with you today, Yukkie? Weren't you my fan?”

“It's exactly because I was your fan!” Yuki finally snapped, her face definitely so red that there was no hiding it. “I’m being put in a position a fan could never even dream of being in! You should think about how I feel sometimes!” 

“Well, it’s not like I don’t think about that, but often I just come up empty…” the girl replied with a frown. “It’s not like it could be just any fan? I wasn’t really one to get so close to my fans, you know?” 

“Then-”

“But, Yukkie being my fan makes me happy exactly because it’s you. Like I said, I love both music and Yukkie, so the fact that you love the music I make feels like something that should bring us closer, not put distance between us… am I wrong?” 

Ruka’s voice sounded more and more subdued as she spoke, staring at Yuki like a kicked puppy from under her long bangs, making Yuki feel like she just did something horribly, horribly wrong. It didn’t even seem like Ruka was trying to tease her in the usual manner, so why was Yuki taking her frustrations out on her? Even though this was nobody’s fault but Yuki’s own. Despite all the times Ruka deserved to get scolded, this wasn’t one of them. 

“N-No, it’s just… Look, I’m just a regular person,” she mumbled out weakly. “You can’t say things like that to me and expect me to react normally…” 

“Regular person… but we’re in a band together,” Ruka pointed out.

“That’s because you forced me into it!” 

“But I can tell you’re having fun, just like all of us are. Even if you still complain.” 

“Ngh…” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“...You aren’t. Happy now?” Yuki admitted with a sigh of resignation. 

Yes, at first she really felt like she simply had no other option but to comply with Ruka’s unreasonable idea to start a band if she didn’t want to be left out, but… over time she’d grown attached to this band of theirs. It was fun. It lifted her spirits. Even standing on the stage at some point stopped being just nerve-wracking and turned exciting, despite still stressing her out.

“Mhm. Having fun is what it’s all about after all!” Ruka replied, instantly cheering up a little. “But it also means Yukkie is no longer just a regular person. You’re a rock star too now.” 

“Hah!?”!

“No need to be so surprised, you’ve gotten quite good at playing the drums! Or are you still not satisfied with just drums?”

“No, no, I’m fine with the drums! Don’t come up with anything else to add to my workload!” 

“Hmm…. I know, maybe I can teach you how to play the guitar too!” Ruka exclaimed happily. 

“Literally what would be the purpose of that!?” Yuki snapped back.

“You’d gain a new skill?” 

“I don’t need it though!” 

“Come on, what if one of our guitar players broke a finger and we needed a temporary replacement? Yukkie could do it then!” 

“No, ‘Yukkie’ could not! I’m already on the drums! If you put me on the guitar, who’s going to take care of that, huh?!” 

“What kind of question is that? Of course you’d be doing that too.”

Ruka said that with full confidence, and for a moment Yuki felt too dumbfounded to even respond to that. 

“...Have you gone completely crazy now?” she eventually asked.

“Why? No slacking off, Yukkie, I also do two things at the same time,” Ruka said as if she was scolding her.

“Yes, one with your mouth and the other one with your hands! It's possible. It's physically impossible to play both drums and a guitar at the same time though!” she yelled in response.

“But Yukkie is so capable, I'm sure you'd be able to pull it off if you put your mind to it?”

“No, putting my mind to it is simply not enough, I'd at least need to grow an additional pair of arms!”

For a good moment Ruka just stared at her, as if considering it, then nodded to herself. 

“I think you're fine as you are after all.”

“Just what did you imagine now, huh?” Yuki asked with a glare. 

“Yukkie with an additional pair of arms.”

“Stop it. Don't imagine something so weird. Of course I'm better off the way I am.”

“It’s not even that it's weird… I think you'd probably give really good hugs too. But wouldn't it be so hard to find fitting clothes? It feels like too much trouble. People usually don't have four arms after all!” Ruka said, as if that realization surprised her.

“That's exactly why it'd be weird! I don't even want to imagine the way people would stare at me… I mean, that's the sort of thing you'd see in a circus, and even then it'd be fake?!” Yuki found herself rambling in annoyance… until she heard the other girl laugh. “What's so funny?!”

“Now that's more like the Yukkie I know,” she said with a smile.

“You did all that on purpose!?”

“I mean… It worked? You aren’t making that face anymore, so I’d say it’s a success.”

“Yeah, and I most likely look exhausted instead now.” 

“So, the regular Yukkie.” 

There were many things she could say in response to that, like ‘you expect me to think it's a good thing?’, or ‘I always look exhausted because of you’, but… 

Didn't it seem like Ruka was acting like that… because she wanted to cheer her up?

“Regular Yukkie, you say…” she repeated with a sigh, smiling a little in defeat.

“Mhm! It’s better when you're in high spirits,” Ruka replied, looking pleased with the reaction she had gotten. “Yukkie, come here.”

This can’t mean anything good, can it?

“Why?”

“Because I want to show you how to play a guitar, duh.” 

“We already established I don’t need that. I don’t even know how to hold a guitar properly!” 

“It’s fine, I’ll show you,” the girl kept insisting. “I’m not really planning on turning you into our spare guitar player, so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s fine just for a little bit, right? So, come here?” 

Yuki's first thought was obviously to say ‘no’ and end the topic before it escalated, but… seeing Ruka's hopeful expression made her hesitate to do so. It didn't feel like she was trying to trick Yuki into something with ulterior motives this time… It was obviously pointless to try to teach her to play an instrument she'd never touch again, but maybe Ruka could see some point in it that Yuki couldn't. Maybe she shouldn't reject her like that.

With another defeated sigh, she reluctantly stood up from the couch and walked up to Ruka, sitting down on the floor next to her. 

“Don't expect much from me,” she mumbled awkwardly, completely clueless what she was supposed to do. 

“Relax, relax, I'm not trying to put any pressure on you here,” Ruka replied. “You would be more comfortable if you sat with your legs crossed though.”

“Maybe, but…” 

“Worried about your underwear being visible? Don't worry, it's just us here and it's not like I've never seen your panties. Or you naked, for that matter.”

“You- Where the hell are you looking!?” Yuki snapped at her, her face instantly turning red, but Ruka only opened her eyes wider in surprise.

“Huh? We’ve bathed together countless times, haven’t we? It’d be harder to not have seen anything!” she replied. 

That… was true. Well, a lot of times Ruka stared at her way more closely than the situation required, but there was nothing wrong with that answer itself.

“So I’m just digging my own grave by overreacting?”

“Mhm, pretty much.” 

“Damn! I must look so lame right now!” Yuki mumbled, the embarrassment of that feeling somehow worse than the possibility of Ruka seeing her underwear (again), so she switched her position without complaining any more. 

“Oh, it's white panties today. Nice,” the other girl commented cheerfully, instantly changing that.

“Don't look! Stop! What's wrong with you?!”

“Anyway,” Ruka said, changing the topic like nothing happened and handing the guitar to Yuki. “Here you go.”

“H-Huh? What am I-”

Before Yuki could even finish her question, Ruka moved behind her on her hands and knees, then sat down there, sliding her arms around Yuki’s waist. 

“W-Wait, w-what are you doing?!” she stuttered out in panic, but Ruka simply reached out to take her hands in hers and guide them to an appropriate position. 

“I'm not really good at explaining stuff, so it'll be easier if I show it to you like this,” the girl said softly, pressing even closer to her and resting her chin on Yuki’s shoulder. And Yuki… 

Frankly speaking, Yuki felt like screaming to the point of her mind actually going silent, and all she could focus on was the sensation of Ruka’s hair tingling her cheek, Ruka’s breath hitting the skin of Yuki’s neck as she spoke, her chest pressing against Yuki’s back, her hands gently holding Yuki’s hands, her warmth spreading to Yuki through the places where their bodies touched, her familiar scent reaching Yuki whenever she breathed in…

All of this was… so much. Too much. Her heart was pounding like crazy. Ruka could definitely tell, and the mere thought of her being able to tell was making Yuki wish the ground would open up and swallow her whole. 

She really was pathetic, wasn't she? Even though Ruka didn't even do anything, Yuki was imagining way too much. But she couldn't help it! She wasn't like Ruka, to whom physical contact between friends seemed to come naturally. She wasn't used to being touched like that, by someone she had… certain feelings for. And now they were so close to each other that you wouldn’t even be able to squeeze a hand in between their bodies.

She wasn’t used to having feelings like that in the first place. 

“Rest it against your legs like this, and put your arm like this. Don’t worry about your left hand, I’ll take care of that,” Ruka said quietly. “Here, a pick. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself by accident when I forced you into this.” 

“H-Huh? I don’t know what to do with it…” Yuki muttered in response, painfully aware of how weak her voice sounded, but the other girl didn’t seem discouraged in the slightest.

“It’s okay, just hold it this way. Leave the rest to me,” Ruka replied, guiding her hand confidently against the strings and finally making a sound. “See? We can do it like this.” 

“It’s you who’s doing everything…” 

“No, no, it’s teamwork! These sounds are still coming from under your hand, just look.” 

As if Yuki could look away from where their joined hands hovered over the guitar. Then, Ruka kept going and played another note, and another, and another. 

It was a slow and clumsy process, and all Yuki could do was try to read Ruka’s intentions the best she could to not make it even harder, but… it was beginning to feel like she could see some patterns in whatever Ruka was doing. There was no way she could repeat that on her own even after watching closely, but she could follow Ruka’s movements with more ease. 

And so, these clumsy attempts at two people playing a single instrument began to resemble a melody, one she could recognize without trouble. 

Since then I decided to name it ‘Before I Rise’, she remembered Ruka saying. 

It must be a special song, just between the two of you, Kunimi had said then. Even if back then Yuki had invited herself into the studio, Ruka didn’t deny their friend’s words.

I think it’s fine if some songs are only heard by Yukkie, this girl said now. 

“Look, I told you you could do it,” Ruka hummed next to Yuki’s ear. “With some practice you wouldn’t even need my help!” 

“N-No, that’s definitely impossible…” she muttered, and then, as if testing her own words, Ruka let go of her hand. Startled by that, Yuki still managed to play a couple of the repeating notes she had memorized, but then she stumbled and the instrument fell silent. “Just like I said, I can’t do it on my own…” 

“Hmm. Oh well! It’s nice this way too, right? Isn’t it fun?” the other girl asked, raising her chin from Yuki’s shoulder and leaning forward a bit just so that she could look at her.

Yuki wasn’t sure. She didn’t really feel like she did much herself. But at the same time… that melody did come from under her hand, didn’t it? It felt… as if this beautiful song belonged to her too a little more now. 

She couldn’t help but smile to herself at that thought. 

“W-Well, it’s not like I hated it…” Yuki said, not being completely honest but it was the best she could muster. Then, she glanced to the side, noticing that Ruka was still staring at her. “W-Why are you looking at me like this…?”

“Because Yukkie is beautiful from this angle too,” she replied with a smile. “Whenever I get a chance to look at you up close like this, I can't help but stare.” 

H-Huh?!

“That should be my line!” Yuki yelled in panic, feeling her face turn red in an instant and once again wondering how she had even ended up in this situation. By making her sit in this position Ruka had left her almost no room for escape. 

Ruka, who now looked at her with her red eyes shining bright with joy.

“So you think I'm beautiful too? Yay!”

“What are you so happy about?!” 

“Huh? So you don’t think that after all?” the girl asked, making the kicked puppy face again. 

Of course I do! I’m not that blind! And you know damn well that you're beautiful! What do you gain from forcing me to say it, huh?!

“...That's not what I said…” Yuki mumbled out pitifully. 

“So…?” the other girl prompted, raising her free hand to gently rub Yuki’s cheek with her thumb.

Against any better judgement, Yuki leaned into her touch.

“I-Isn’t the answer obvious? Anyone would tell you you're good looking…”

“Maybe so, but I want just Yukkie to tell me that,” Ruka said.

“W-What’s the point of it?”

“Hmm. It makes me happy?” 

She couldn't understand why though. Ruka was stunning, and since she was a former celebrity Yuki was far from the only person who thought so. Ruka didn't even have to do anything to achieve that and this kind of effortless beauty sometimes made Yuki feel a little jealous, but… more than anything, it made her feel… not worth the attention she was receiving from Ruka. Because she herself was completely average.

“I think you're reaaaaally beautiful, so it makes me happy to know it's mutual,” Ruka said in response to her silence. Then, she let go of her guitar, leaving it in Yuki's hands and letting go of her too. Only for a moment though, as she moved to the side and took the guitar from her, placing it on the floor next to them and, barely giving Yuki time to change her position, returning to holding onto her in a manner that could only be called an embrace. 

She was warm. Well, of course she was. Human or not, she was alive after all, in whatever mysterious way that Yuki was as well. That fact alone was comforting, even if her heart was still beating much too fast for it to be considered normal. Ruka held her closely, but… somehow Yuki felt like if she tried to free herself, Ruka would let her. She did not try though, and only had half a mind to ask Ruka what she was doing. She already knew the answer, which was ‘whatever she felt like doing’.

“Seriously… Even though you're the one who's gorgeous, and I'm as ordinary as it can get,” Yuki mumbled in a self-deprecating manner. 

“Isn't it fine? To be ordinary,” Ruka replied, surprising her a little. 

“Huh?”

The girl squeezed her a little more tightly, burying her face in Yuki's neck. If Ruka touched her skin there she'd surely be able to tell how fast Yuki pulse was.

“What I mean is, even if Yukkie was ordinary, which I don't think you are at all… Even if everyone else thought you were ordinary, you'd still be special to me.”

Huh? Huh?! What is this girl saying?! 

“N-No, no, that's not how it-”

“Besides, I don't really like the thought of having rivals! So, isn’t it actually fine if Yukkie is special only to me?” 

Rivals?! What rivals?! 

“Why are you so hung up on me?!” Yuki cried, not really expecting a real answer, but-

“Because I want to be with you,” Ruka said in response, her tone light but certain. 

“Why me?!” 

“Huh? Is that not okay, Yukkie?” she asked, leaning back a little to look Yuki in the eyes.

“Do you even need to ask?!”

“Because you were a fan?”

“What?! W-Well, that too, but…” Yuki trailed off, not really knowing what else to say.

“Then, Yukkie, what kind of person do you think I should want to be with?” 

“Why are you asking me about that?” she replied, annoyance quickly seeping into her tone.

“Because since you said you’re no good, you probably do have some ideas. I only accept answers that are within the realm of possibility though, so think it through.” 

“What kind of image do you even have of me in your head?!” Yuki snapped at her. “I don’t spend my days imagining what your love life would look like with someone other than me! There’s no answer you’ll get out of me here! Give me a break! And what is ‘within the realm of possibility’ even supposed to mean?!” 

She could swear Ruka was holding back a smile as Yuki yelled at her, as if her outburst was well within that bastard’s expectations. 

“So, do you imagine what my love life would look like with you ? I'm so happy.” 

Crap. 

“Don't nitpick my every word! That's not what I meant!”

Maybe it wasn't what she meant, but she couldn't help it if her imagination wandered off somewhere she had no control of sometimes. Most of that was Ruka’s fault anyway, for having no sense of personal space and saying whatever popped into her head! 

“Also, ‘within the realm of possibility’ means exactly that,” the other girl continued. “I mean, we're sorta no longer normal humans, right? Or, I suppose we never were to begin with… So, it probably wouldn't be smart to try to get into relationships with them. Not like that changes much for me, but it sorta already limits my options, doesn't it?” 

That… was true. Suddenly that silly conversation about potentially settling down and starting a family from a while ago seemed completely ridiculous… Not like either of them expressed any desire to do so, but… it was different from knowing it wasn't possible in the first place. Yuki kind of felt embarrassed on the behalf of her past self. But if that sort of normal life not only wasn't expected of them but was genuinely impossible, if they couldn't even grow old like normal people… 

Wouldn't that mean, those options were limited to… only those who were like them? 

“So, Yukkie? What kinda person should that be?” Ruka asked again, staring at her intently from a distance much too short for her liking.

“Uhm… W-Well…”

“Someone who's not a fan?” 

“I-I suppose so?”

“Someone who doesn't care about my music?”

“That's…”

That… didn't feel right. Yuki still remembered how during their very first conversation Ruka introduced herself as someone whose passion for music was second to none. Someone for whom it was a part of her personality more important than anything else. Could a partner who didn't care about that really be good for her? It's not like Yuki had any experience with these sorts of relationships, but… To begin with, people who were close were supposed to support each other, no matter what kind of relationship they had, right? 

Was she looking at all of this from the wrong angle?

“Yukkie?” Ruka’s voice brought her out of her thoughts again. “What did you want to say?” 

“Well… I was wondering, if you would really be happy with that…” she mumbled hesitantly. 

For a moment Ruka stared at her, as if wondering about it herself, then broke into a smile.

“I think just Yukkie would be fine after all,” the girl said. “Look, you’re already thinking about wanting to make me happy.” 

“T-That was purely hypothetical, and I didn’t say anything about wanting to do that myself…” 

But she did want to. Saying otherwise was an obvious lie, but the prospect of saying the truth was so mortifying that even trying to imagine it was making her brain short-circuit. Still, Yuki undeniably wished for this girl to be happy, and if she herself could contribute to that, wouldn’t it be great? 

It didn’t mean it had to be her though, or that she knew how to do that.

“But you’re already doing a good job at that. Don’t sell yourself short,” Ruka said, as if reading her mind. 

“I’m not doing anything! Also, do we really have to sit so close?! Let go of me already!” 

“Eeeh? What’s wrong? Don’t fans usually want to get as close as possible?” the girl replied in a teasing manner, moving her face even closer to Yuki’s, and since she was still holding her, all Yuki could do to escape was turn her head to the side. 

“Just what kind of fans did you have…?” 

“All kinds of them, I suppose? Some could be really scary…” Why does she always have to say such concerning things when it comes to that? Yuki thought, but then she felt a hand on her cheek as Ruka gently made her look at her again. “But if it’s Yukkie, I don’t mind if you want to get closer.” 

“I-I just told you I wanted the exact opposite of that!” Yuki snapped, her face once again feeling so hot it was making her lightheaded. “Goddammit… Why is it always just me getting so worked up when you’re completely unaffected… This isn’t fair…” 

“What are you talking about? My heart is totally beating like crazy right now,” Ruka stated in a perfectly calm manner. 

“That’s definitely a lie!” 

The other girl just shook her head at that, then pulled away from her a little and took one of Yuki’s hands in both of hers.

“No, I’m totally serious. You can check if you want.” 

“W-Wha-?”

Just like that, Ruka pulled Yuki’s hand towards her own chest. 

“Wait, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Yuki immediately tried to take her hand back, but Ruka was holding it surprisingly tightly. 

“Huh? Letting you feel how fast my heart is beating. I just said that?” she replied in a surprised tone, as if she couldn’t see anything wrong with what she was doing. 

This bastard is definitely messing with me.

“If so, just give me your arm and I’ll take your pulse. That’s more than enough.” 

“Eeeh? But my heart is up here. Are you rejecting it?” Ruka responded to her dry request with a pout. “Even though I'm entrusting it to you…”

“Well, then, maybe you shouldn't trust me so much!”

“Because my boobs are up here too and Yukkie is having dirty thoughts?”

SHE'S ABSOLUTELY MESSING WITH ME! SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING! I CAN TELL SHE'S TRYING TO HOLD BACK LAUGHTER!

“That's so not it, you total dumbass, so whatever fantasies your brain is conjuring, stop it!” 

She refused to believe this was her fault, or that her mind was any dirtier than was considered acceptable. She wasn’t that sort of person! Yes, Ruka was stupidly attractive, with a beautiful voice, pretty face and the body a lot of models could be envious of, but any suspicious thought regarding that that appeared in Yuki’s head was against her will, and was usually provoked by no one other than Ruka herself. 

“Too bad,” the cause of her troubles said. “If that was the case then we’d at least be even.” 

Yuki was so surprised by that sentence that she stopped resisting, allowing Ruka to succeed in pulling Yuki’s hand flush against her chest.  

…

Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum . She could feel the other girl’s heartbeat right under her hand, strong and fast, faster than would be considered normal, just like Yuki’s own.

“So? How is it?” Ruka asked her quietly, and Yuki sincerely hoped she wasn’t asking about how it felt to touch her boobs. She was desperately trying not to think about that.

“You… weren’t lying,” she muttered in response, and Ruka smiled at her. 

“See? This is the effect Yukkie has on me.” 

Why? Yuki wanted to ask. I didn’t do anything. I can’t even think of doing anything without feeling like I shouldn’t even want it. 

“...You said… you want to be with me, but never explained yourself when I asked why,” she ended up saying out loud. 

Ruka gave her a surprised look. Then, she released Yuki’s hand and leaned closer to her again, wrapping one arm around her neck and raising the other hand to Yuki’s face. She gently traced her fingers over Yuki’s cheek, then moved to her hair, pushing a loose strand behind her ear, all the while looking at her… like she would at something precious. 

Her smile is so beautiful, Yuki thought to herself. 

“You keep asking ‘why,’ but… Yukkie, you only have yourself to blame,” Ruka said. 

“Huh? How so?”

“Rock star or not, I'm still just a huma- Wait, no, maybe that's not the right choice of words… Well, rock star or not, human or not, I'm still just a person, you know?” the girl replied, her gaze wandering off to the side. She seemed… sort of bashful. “Isn’t it normal to want to be with someone who's always so kind to me?” 

Kind. Was that really how Ruka saw her? The gloomy, serious Yuki who had done nothing but complain ever since they first met, and was awful at expressing her true feelings? Kind… 

I'm still just a person.

Of course. Yuki knew that perfectly. Just a person who was always doing her best. Strong, reliable and beautiful, but who could still falter under the weight of responsibility that was forced onto her, still tormented by fear and loss. Just a person who loved music and who loved her friends, who seemed to get lonely easily, who liked to be spoiled sometimes and whose stubbornness and poor sense of self-preservation were on occasion driving Yuki up the wall.

Was it possible… that Yuki was refusing to accept that Ruka could have feelings for her because she wasn’t looking at her properly? Because she was blinded by her own insecurities? 

Like I said, I love both music and Yukkie, so you loving the music I make feels like something that should bring us closer, not put distance between us… am I wrong?

Had Yuki been misinterpreting Ruka’s words of affection the whole time, or was she getting too ahead of herself now? 

“...Even though I do nothing but yell at you?” she muttered hesitantly, making Ruka look at her again. 

“You do it because you care about me. Right?” the girl replied with full confidence and a smile on her face. “So, you have permission to yell at me anytime you want!” 

“I don’t want that sort of useless permission! If you know that, at least listen to me from time to time!” Yuki retorted immediately.

“Come on, I definitely listen to Yukkie more than I do to others.” 

“That’s concerning! What about the commander!?” 

“You listen to the commander, and I listen to you?” 

“So all the work falls on me again?!” 

“Mhm. Because you’re smart and know how to dumb things down for me,” Ruka concluded, her grin growing even wider, and really, Yuki wished she could stay mad at her, but…

She found herself laughing too. 

“I guess I don't have a choice.”

“Yaaay!” 

For a moment they just looked at each other, somehow the lack of distance between them not bothering Yuki so much anymore. 

No matter how much she tried to deny it… she liked the way Ruka looked at her. Yuki wanted her to keep her eyes on herself. Was it really okay though…?

Ruka's gaze wandered from Yuki's eyes down to her lips. She moved her hand back to Yuki's cheek, traced over her jaw to finally rest her thumb against Yuki's lower lip. Then, she looked up again with a nearly pleading look on her face. 

And all Yuki could do was sit there, frozen in place. She knew what Ruka seemed to be asking for, but knowing it didn't make it seem any less unreal.

The girl leaned closer slowly, as if giving her time to stop her- 

And that's exactly what she did, covering her own mouth with her hand in panic. 

She wasn’t sure whether the flash of disappointment she saw in Ruka’s eyes was real or Yuki had imagined it. 

“No?” Ruka asked softly. 

No. Yes. No. Yes. I don’t know. 

“U-Uh… I-I…” Yuki stuttered out but failed to make a coherent sentence.

“You don’t want to?” 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. She just didn’t know how to want it. She didn’t want Ruka to be disappointed with her either. 

“I get it. Okay. Next time then,” Ruka said, and nothing in her voice suggested that she was holding it against her. 

“W-What if next time I can’t do it either?” 

“Then the time after that. I might really be at my limit by then though,” the girl sighed. “But I’ll wait.” 

How long? How long could Ruka wait for someone like Yuki before she’d grow tired of it? Even if her options were limited, surely she had ones better than a girl so pathetically indecisive even when it came to someone she loved. How long-

“As long as you need me to,” Ruka added before Yuki could even say anything, as if reading her mind. Then she frowned. “Though I still really do want to do it… but that’s on me.” 

…

If Ruka really considered her worth waiting for, weren’t Yuki’s thoughts from earlier just an insult to that? If she really wanted Yuki, not someone else- 

It was like something in Yuki’s mind snapped as she, before she lost any of the resolve she managed to gather, leaned forward and pressed her lips against Ruka’s. 

It lasted no longer than a second, and in her nervousness she might’ve missed and only landed the brief kiss against the corner of the other girl’s mouth. It was more nerve-wracking than any battle she’d been through so far. 

It also wasn’t enough. She realized that herself when it was already over. 

After she pulled away, for a moment she just stared on the floor next to them, not having the courage to look Ruka in the face… but when the silence between them went on for too long, she forced herself to look up again.

A pair of wide red eyes were staring back at her. And it wasn’t often that something could shake Ruka like that, but… she was blushing, her cheeks visibly redder than usual.

“This isn’t fair,” the girl muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yukkie, this isn’t fair.”

“H-Huh?”

“I’m holding back with all my might, because you always make a face like you don’t want me to do it, but then you just go ahead and do whatever you want,” she said with a hint of desperation in her voice, bringing both her hands to the sides of Yuki's face, cradling it. 

“I-I didn't want it to come off like that…” Yuki replied weakly, but it was the undeniable truth that… it was exactly what she did. “I'm sorry…”

“Don't apologize. I’m happy you did this. Just hurry up and kiss me properly, or let me do it. Either is fine. Just… Please, Yukkie?” 

How could she say ‘no’ to that voice? A small part of her still wanted to do that out of her own cowardice, but… wouldn't it be a cruel thing to do after coming this far, when Ruka was looking at her like that? Like she really wanted her? After Yuki already started it herself… 

She really dug her own grave this time, didn’t she? But it's not like she was agreeing against her own will. 

“...Okay. Do whatever you want,” Yuki mumbled, watching Ruka's eyes light up at that.

“Are you sure?” she still asked. 

Stop stalling and do it before I lose any confidence in this being a good idea that I could possibly have! 

Yuki nodded, not trusting herself enough to speak. 

Wait, should I take my glasses off? What should I do with my hands? How should I-

All logical thought was purged from her mind instantly the moment Ruka leaned in and kissed her for real this time. Yuki instinctively shut her eyes, but that might’ve only strengthened the sensation of Ruka’s soft, warm lips meeting her own and Ruka’s arm moving to wrap around Yuki's waist to pull her closer, making a shiver run down her spine. 

Perhaps the other girl misinterpreted her reaction because Yuki could feel her begin to pull away, so, without even meaning to, she raised her arms and grabbed at Ruka's clothes to keep her in place. If she was in her right mind she'd probably be dying of embarrassment but right now the only thing that mattered was that she didn't want this to be over yet.

“It’s okay,” Ruka whispered, kissing her softly and Yuki could feel her smile against her lips. “Give me a second, Yukkie.” 

Yuki opened her eyes slightly to see Ruka pull away just enough to be able to take her glasses off and gently place them to the side, near the guitar which had been abandoned earlier, then immediately return to her. Even with her vision blurred, seeing Ruka’s face so close was making her feel lightheaded, but… there was no mistaking how flushed that face was. It was because of Yuki, wasn’t it? It made her feel a little proud. 

But then she was once again left with no space to be thinking of things like that, with Ruka’s lips pressed against her mouth, and all Yuki could do was cling to her and clumsily try to kiss back the best she could. 

Did it feel this good for Ruka too? If the strength with which her arm was wrapped around Yuki meant anything, if the way she didn't even stop to let Yuki breathe meant anything… it probably did. 

This was beginning to get dangerous though. Forcing herself to gather the remains of her sanity, she pushed against Ruka's shoulders weakly, hoping the girl would get the hint.

She did, but seemed reluctant to let Yuki go. Even after breaking the kiss she remained close, resting her forehead against Yuki's, tracing her nose against Yuki's cheek, smiling the whole time. 

“You're so out of breath like you just ran a marathon,” Ruka whispered. 

“W-Whose fault is that? And why is it just me again…?”

“Don't underestimate a pro vocalist’s lungs!” she replied cheerfully.

“So you could keep going?! Have some consideration for me!” Yuki cried, letting her embarrassment win and resting her forehead on Ruka's shoulder so she didn't have to keep looking at her, the reality of what they had just done slowly catching up to her. The other girl just held Yuki close and laughed. 

“You're very welcome to try to get back at me next time,” she said. 

“There’s no way I could do that!” 

Wait. Next time.

She was planning on there being a next time. It wasn’t just a one time thing because she was curious about what it felt like… Ruka was letting Yuki know she wanted to kiss her again. 

What did that mean for them? Maybe she just liked it enough and thought it’d be a shame to not have a repeat. But then, it wouldn’t have to be Yuki… 

She loves you, a small voice at the back of her mind said. You. Not just as a friend. 

And that's what was so hard for her to believe. Ruka loved all her friends and was affectionate towards most, Yuki included, that much she had already accepted. It didn't make her special in any way though, and… believing Ruka had the same kind of love for Yuki that Yuki had for her was too much, because if that ended up being just a delusion… 

“Yukkie? Are you okay? Did you not like kissing me after all? Am I that bad at it? It’s true that I have no experience, but I’m a fast learner, you know?” Ruka asked in a concerned tone, pulling away from the hug to look at Yuki's face.

“H-Huh? No, that's not…”

“Then what's wrong?”

How did she even sense something was wrong?

“It's just…” Yuki began hesitantly, unable to look her in the eyes. “This isn't really something people who are just friends do. Do you…”

“...Love Yukkie? I do. A whole lot,” she replied confidently, albeit sounding a little confused. 

…

Wait, was this supposed to be this easy?!

“Haven't I already said that though? Even today?” Ruka added, a familiar pouting expression appearing on her face. 

“W-Well, it's hard to tell when you're joking and when you’re not…” Yuki mumbled, her voice becoming quieter with every word. 

“I’m serious about you though... I thought you finally realized it and that's why you kissed me first, but that wasn't it?! And, are you really saying that after I just made out with you?!”

“H-Huh? I-”

“Just what kind of person do you see me as?! Someone who just goes around kissing people they don't even love?! Just for fun?!” Ruka rambled, looking incredibly offended now. “Not that I have anything against people like that, but hearing this from the girl I just gave away my first kiss to kind of hurts!”

“W-Wait, wait, hold on, I never said that!” Yuki protested. 

“But you had to think something along those lines! Ruka-chan is beyond shook!”

“I didn't think that! It didn't even cross my mind! And are you seriously mad at me now?!” she asked, starting to feel irritated too, but then the angry pout on Ruka's face disappeared as the girl switched back to looking concerned.

“Not really, because I'm still really happy I got to kiss you, but you were making that face from earlier again, and I figured it had to be because of something I did so I had to do something about it…” 

“So you decided to piss me off instead, huh?!”

“Well, that's at least something I'm good at, and anything is better than you looking at me like you're about to cry! But of course I'd prefer you to smile at me in a moment like this, so smile! Smile, Yukkie! Or else it'll really feel like I'm forcing you into something you don't want…” 

She spoke that last sentence in a tone so pitiful that it made Yuki reflect on what she was really doing. 

Ruka had no way of knowing what was going on in Yuki’s head, even if sometimes it seemed like she could see right through her. All she knew right now was that she just kissed a girl she liked, but that girl still looked unhappy about something, so what was she supposed to think? Yuki understood where this was coming from. Ruka wasn’t at fault. 

But how was Yuki supposed to tell her ‘it’s not you, it’s me where the problem lies’? What would explaining that change? Ruka would probably try to reassure her somehow, that she was worrying for nothing, but… Now what she thought about it, there wasn’t much Ruka could tell her that she hadn’t already said before. Sure, sometimes she could make rather insensitive jokes, but… she praised Yuki far more frequently, for about anything. How great would it be if Yuki could just believe it all without constantly questioning it? 

Ruka wasn't a liar. She didn't always say everything that was on her mind, Yuki knew it, but she was honest with what she did say. If she called Yuki beautiful, smart and capable… she meant it. 

Ruka meant it. Maybe if Yuki couldn't believe in herself, she could believe in Ruka's sincerity.

“...I guess I just gotta follow your lead,” Yuki muttered, taking a deep breath and suddenly feeling like it was easier to smile now. 

“Yukkie…? 

“It's nothing,” she replied with a quiet laugh, taking Ruka's face in her hands and gently kissing her again, this time not missing. It seemed like Ruka's first instinct was to respond with the same, and when Yuki pulled away too fast the girl tried to chase after her just to steal one more kiss. 

“...So you did like it after all,” Ruka said, sounding so relieved that Yuki thought that maybe fighting that battle against herself was worth it, then embraced her tightly, burying her face in Yuki’s neck and mumbling something out. “Thank you, rain.” 

“Huh? Why the hell are you thanking the rain?” 

“Because it created an opportunity for me to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” 

“You can’t even hear it inside the studio. Maybe it’s already stopped raining.”

“It still brought Yukkie my way!” 

“Okay, okay, whatever you say…” 

For a moment, they just sat there like that, glued to each other. Despite the silence there was really no way to hear anything from the outside, so all she could focus on was the quiet, regular sound of Ruka's breathing as Yuki absentmindedly stroked the back of the girl’s head. She seemed completely relaxed in Yuki’s arms.

“Hey, Ruka. What now?” she finally asked, knowing she eventually had to do it. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You know… about us…” 

“I don’t really know,” Ruka said, squeezing her a little. 

“You don’t know, you say…” 

“Mhm. It’s my first time being in love after all, so I don’t know.” 

…

“Woah, it’s like your heart started beating a whole lot faster the moment I said that! I could feel it! Amazing!” the girl exclaimed, pulling away from her with an excited look on her face.

“Shut up! Don’t say things like that out loud! It’s embarrassing!” 

“I wanna do it more often if anything! It was so cute!” 

I would die. I would explode and die.

“Don’t even think about that! I’ll never let you anywhere near me again!” 

“That would be way too cruel of a punishment?!” Ruka whined. “Fine, I promise to only do it when we’re alone, so don’t punish me like that! Please!” 

“You wouldn’t listen to me anyway, so don’t act like you’re actually worried about it!” 

“I already said it, I listen to Yukkie more than to anyone else, but if you tell me not to get anywhere near you, that’s just impossible?! I'd become so heartbroken I'd die!”

“People don't die from that, you'd survive,” Yuki responded to her complaints in a deadpan tone.

“No, no, I'd become so depressed I wouldn't be able to focus on anything and then die to some random cancer.” 

“Don't do that! Some leader of the elite assault squad you are! 31-A still needs you!” 

“But, Yukkie,” that menace said, now smiling again. “Don't you remember what the rest of the girls said? 31-A gets stronger and stronger the closer me and you become. So, let's do our best to make 31-A the strongest we can, so we can eventually defeat all those freaky aliens and then just live together happily.” 

In hindsight, Yuki felt a little silly for asking Ruka ‘what now.’ It was the same Ruka who hugged her in public whenever she felt like it, who not only didn't mind sharing a bed with her but also seemed happy about it, who said it'd be fun if they could always be together. What did she expect, to be dramatically asked out like in a romance manga? What did dating in the kind of world they lived in even entail, other than things they probably already did? Frankly speaking, she didn’t even know what dating entailed normally… and Ruka probably didn’t either.

So, what now? Not much would probably change. It didn't have to. Yuki would actually prefer it if it didn't… Being affectionate didn’t come naturally to her like it did to Ruka, but… Against all logic, Yuki didn’t wish for Ruka to suddenly become aware of everything she was doing. Wouldn’t it make things awkward? She didn’t want to tie Ruka to herself either, so… Yuki would prefer to be treated the same as always. 

But maybe she was just overthinking it again? Maybe this wasn’t meant to be that complicated.

“Do I even have any say in this matter?” she said with a sigh. 

“Nope. 31-A needs you too, Yukkie. And so do I,” Ruka replied happily. “So, don’t worry! Together we can figure out the parts we have no idea about.”

Ah. She wasn’t avoiding answering.

“I-I suppose…” she mumbled, her face feeling warmer again. “Let’s keep the rest of 31-A out of this though...” 

“Mhm. Yukkie prefers to only get lovey-dovey with me privately, got it,” Ruka agreed obediently. “Besides, I don’t really want you to show the kind of face you show to me to anyone else.” 

Just what kind of expression was I showing to her?!

“A-Anyway, we really should check if it stopped raining already! It’ll be dinner time soon, w-we can’t be stuck here for much longer,” Yuki stuttered out. “Right, glasses, where are my glasses…” 

Before she could find them herself, Ruka reached out to get them from where she had placed them before, then gently put them back on Yuki’s face. 

“Hmm, as expected, the glasses just feel right. Let’s not take them off next time,” she muttered.

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Well, you’re pretty with or without them, but I still really like them!”

“You like the fact that I can’t see properly?” Yuki asked with a frown. 

“Huh? No? I just think they suit you. Of course I’d prefer you to be able to see well!” 

“So if I could get my vision corrected and didn’t need them anymore, you wouldn’t complain?” 

“Come on, Yukkie, I’d be happy for you! And I’m sure it’d still be possible to get fake glasses somewhere.” 

“...Enough with your nonsense. I’m going to go check the weather,” Yuki concluded, finally pushing the other girl away and getting up. 

“Nonsense? No, no, it’s about your charm point! It’s like Cappy’s hat, you can’t get rid of what appeals to the fans!” Ruka kept insisting as she watched her walk away and climb the stairs. 

“Once again, what fans? This isn’t a game.” 

“Me! It appeals to me!” 

“Well, it’s not like it’s actually happening, so there’s no need for your whining,” she sighed, pushing the door open to be greeted by pleasant evening air, still smelling of the rain that seemed to have already passed. “Looks like we’re free to leave… Ruka? You coming?” 

“Mhm, in a moment,” the girl replied, and when Yuki glanced back in her direction she could see her scribbling something in the notebook from earlier. “You can go ahead, I’ll catch up to you. I just need to write it down before I forget…” 

A sudden spark of inspiration? Well, she was working on something before Yuki invited herself into the studio. Now that she thought of it, neither of them got anything done that afternoon, did they? Just thinking of that was making her feel embarrassed again… but considering that, she should probably at least give Ruka time now. 

“Alright. If you’re not back by dinner time, I’ll send you a message.” 

“It shouldn’t take that much time, but thanks, Yukkie,” she said with a smile. Seeing this as the right moment to leave, Yuki turned around, but then Ruka called out to her again. “Wait! One more thing…” 

“What is it?” 

“If I ever want to sing something just for you again, will you listen to me?” she asked with a hopeful expression, and Yuki really didn’t want to be connecting dots she wasn’t sure were there, but- 

Her eyes wandered from Ruka’s face to the notebook on the floor as she recalled everything she was told that day. Then, she smiled at Ruka again. 

“Anytime you want.”