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“GET IT UNSTUCK”, the tall, hovering red-eyed Irken barked at the poor other extraterrestrial… again. What had started as a simple lunch holiday was now going all kinds of wrong: a mix of horribly misjudged calculations and a lack of common sense led to this situation: The Massive, the pride and joy of the Irken Armada… was stuck. It was jammed quite firmly into a fly thru somewhere on Foodcourtia, its towering, maroon appearance being a blemish amongst the planet’s many colorful restaurants and other snacking facilities.
Red had been screeching at the store manager for well over an hour, saying it was his fault for not making the fly thru bigger, and that it was his responsibility to get the spacecraft unstuck. All any passerby could do was watch as one of the Tallests raged on, as the purple one just tried to defuse the situation.
“S-sir”, the tiny alien whimpered, “I’ve told you, I can’t-”
“Blah blah blah, can’t this, can’t that! Can’t my antennae!”
“If I may, you’re making a scene, I have customers to feed-”
“I DON’T CARE! DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, IMPRISON YOU, ENSLAVE YOU-”
“Uh, Red, I think you’re going a bit too far-”
“CAN IT PURPLE!”
And was how it had been going. Red hollered his threats and obscenities, the manager cowered, and Purple kept trying to calm down his co-ruler without any luck. At this rate, more arguing was being done than problem solving. There really was nothing the short little store manager could do, and Red either didn’t know that or didn’t care.
Purple knew he couldn’t do much at the moment either, so he just shook his head and decided to hover back into The Massive just to get away from Red’s anger.
The inside of the ship was cold and, well, massive as ever. Purple hovered back into the cockpit and groaned, his nonexistent nose wrinkled. “My Tallest, are you alr-” A navigator began.
“Donuts. Now.”
The Navigator saluted, immediately scampering away to The Massive’s snack compartment and coming back with a bag full of the confections not even 30 seconds later. Purple swiped the bag and began to stuff his face out of frustration. In all honesty he was just as mad about the ship being stuck as Red was, but screaming really wasn’t the way to go about solving it. He was at a loss for what to do himself, and it was times like this he really wished Red wouldn’t just go off like that sometimes be it at others or him.
Purple just kept eating, using food as comfort. He levitated over to another Navigator, feeling the need to vent.
“So, Red, he’s such a pain am I right?”
“My Tallest?”
“RIGHT?!”
“With all due respect sir, I must not speak ill of my Tallest.”
“Red’s not here!”
“The law still stands, surely you can underst-”
“Whatever! Ack-”
Purple had been rather stupidly talking between bites, and now he was choking as a result. He flailed around as the rest of the staff came to his aid. He made all sorts of disgusting gagging sounds as the piece of donut was lodged in his gullet, but eventually- “BLEH!”
One of the Navigators got it to come out, and it splattered all over the face of another.
“AHHHHHH”, that one yelled as now it was his turn to panic. In his hysteria, he accidentally pressed a button on his own ship steering interface system…
Back outside, Red was a nanosecond away from getting physical with the manager, when screams began to ring out from around them. He looked behind him, and sure enough something was going down.
The Massive was moving, its thrusters having been activated. As it became unstuck, pieces of the building among several other chunks of other businesses came crashing down, landing on the ground and likely flattening several innocent customers.
Well that was that.
Red relaxed a bit, but not before giving one last glare at the manager, who was understandably horrified.
“You got lucky”, Red snapped as he smugly went back into The Massive himself, leaving the manager and other unfortunate Foodcourtians to clean up the mess.
And that was it. The Massive flew away alongside the rest of the ships that accompanied it, cruelly leaving behind a disaster
almost
Zim worthy. And inside The Massive itself were Red and Purple, who were now sharing a good laugh about it all, eager for more holidays, leisure, and planet conquering.