Work Text:
Memories are like fireworks: precious but fleeting, constantly eroded by the passing of time. But no matter how futile it may be, Waka tries to remember everything about Shion.
“I want to see you again…” Waka muttered as she reached out towards the UV lights in her room. These lights were supposedly meant to compensate for the lack of sunlight underground, but they felt inadequate compared to the bright sun she once took for granted.
She closed her eyes after staring at the artificial light for a few seconds, blinded by the luminescence, and then retreated to her memories of Shion.
Waka took pride in knowing more about her than anyone else. Her cute smile, her voice that rang like a bell, her worries, the secrets they shared. She was the sun in Waka’s world.
The ordinary warm days they had lived together were her most important treasures. Waka believes that if she can carry those memories with her, Shion will live on a little longer.
Memories of Shion continued to flash through her mind. They had playfully danced together during winter, seemingly unbothered by the cold air. Shion had loudly laughed at a sleepover, while her face was hidden behind the divider between their futons.
Waka froze upon the realisation that she already seemed to struggle to remember everything, a consequence of how much time had passed since her death, but pushed the thought away in a panic and went back to her memories. In her rush, she suddenly remembered a flash of red blood. Shion’s blood.
It dug up memories that Alula had shared, sides to Shion that she could never have imagined, invading her nostalgic reminiscence. She had been completely unaware of that time Shion spent with Alula. Did she truly understand Shion? Did Alula have a greater comprehension? Was there more she could have done, or did she only make things worse?
Waka rolled over in an attempt to change her train of thought and embraced her quilt. The light from her sun had begun to feel colder, and couldn’t pierce through the darkness.
She searched through her memories again. Doubts begin to cloud her mind as small details continue to fall from her grasp. What clothes was Shion wearing on that day? She searches again. And again. How many bandages covered her body? What facial expression did she have, and what feelings were behind it?
Waka was soon out of breath, her heartbeat far louder than Shion’s soft voice.
Too exhausted to continue her frantic search through memories, she sighed and looked into the darkness. She then felt a strange pang of nostalgia. It was as though she had been surrounded by water, and she unintentionally thought back on a recent memory. One she had been trying to ignore. The time she had fallen into water and met Shion again.
She had met the girl she wanted nothing more than to meet again. She received answers to her questions that shouldn’t have been answerable. Even a god like Alula couldn’t have known. But now, the hole in her chest felt larger than it had ever felt.
Waka clenched her fist tightly as she recalled Shion’s confession: that she wanted to see the girl she liked smile before she died. How she lied about their future together to achieve that. It was clear to Waka that the perfect good girl in her memories was a fabrication of her subconsciousness. But nor was she the pathetic victim Alula seemed to think of her as. She was Kirinuma Shion: a complex and flawed girl who loved Waka.
“We never reached that future, but Shion wanted me to smile,” whispered Waka as she got out of her bed.
She looked back up at the UV lights, the artificiality incomparable to the true light she continues to carry with her. She slowly forced herself to smile. It was a joyful smile, an exaggerated smile, an absurd smile.