Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

His boots pounded against the concrete, heart and lungs screaming in his chest as he bounds after the woman the Agency had been tracking. She speeds around the corner ahead of him, fiery red hair billowing behind her as she runs.

He skids around the corner, claws sinking into the wall and propelling him forward. He’s gained on her– but not by much. “Dazai-san,” He growls into his earpiece, legs transforming as easily as breathing. “Do we even know the target's name?”

Dazai’s calm voice echoed in his ears– the sound of traffic quietly in the background, because Dazai-san had decided to wander off instead of chasing after the suspect– which would have been very helpful, considering one of the few things they knew about this woman was that she had an ability.

They still didn't know what it was, but–

“No..” Dazai trails off, obviously not paying too much attention. Atsushi resists the urge to roll his eyes, jumping over a low fence and pouncing forward, missing the woman by an inch. “You’ll be fine, don't worry Atsushi-kun~!” Dazai attempts to soothe, though Atsushi gets the feeling he's actually just teasing him…

“I’m not worried–” He starts indigently, before the space around them turns from city streets to warehouses and dusty roads. “Crap, hang on–” He quickens his pace as the woman runs along a specific path, making her way towards a warehouse located by the water. She dashes inside, pulling the door shut behind her, and Atsushi has a split second to slow down before he crashes into the door.

He hears Dazai ask something through the earpiece, but the metal shaking against its frames drowns out his voice. He growls and pulls the door open with a huff. He steps inside before stilling, hackles raising.

The woman has stopped in the middle of the open space, shoulders shaking quietly. For a moment, Atsushi thinks she's crying– or scared, at least, the tiger can be frightening to some– but then she lurches forward, brown hair falling into her face, arms wrapping around her stomach. She’s not crying, she’s laughing.

Atsushi stills, dropping into a crouch. She doesn't stop laughing, slowly turning to face him, and Atsushi blanches. Her features are completely different– even her hair has changed! She grins, reaching her  hand out towards Atsushi with a cheerful hum. “You should have just—“ he doesn’t hear what she says over the ringing in his ears, a blinding white light filling his vision.

And then the world goes dark.

When Atsushi had first set after the target, Dazai had thought, “Oh well, there he goes. I’ll take the scenic route around!”

Then the chase had gone on for longer than usual, and Dazai had thought, “Oh well, he’ll be fine. I know where he is.”

Then he’d hear Atsushi slam against something. And he’d realised something was probably wrong. Then he’d heard the target laughing, and the unmistakable sound of an ability hitting its mark, and he’d thought, “Oh shit.”

Then Atsushi had gone quiet.

So, instead of walking through the streets of Yokohama, he was walking through the warehouse lot, searching for Atsushi.

He turned around the corner and finally spotted a warehouse with an open door, seemingly empty of all life. Bingo. He stepped through the open doors, hands in his pockets as he hummed a simple tune.

He came to a stop in the middle of the open space, spinning very slowly on his heel as he searched for any visual signs of a fight. Nothing sticks out immediately… “Atsushi-kun~ Where are you?” He drawls out, stepping toward one of the piles of boxes.

Something shifts in the pile and he grins. He pulls his hands out of his pockets as he steps around the pile, setting them on his hips. “Atsushi-kun, shouldn't you know better than to hide from– eh!? ”

The face that gazes up at him is.. Fearful, tear ridden. A child. But why is there a child in the warehouse?  And where is Atsushi?

Dazai takes a moment to examine the situation from a different angle. Actually examine what he was seeing. There was a child, curled up behind a stack of boxes, obviously scared. Their clothes hung off their body, odd bits of black fabric hanging around their arms– like they'd been tearing at their arms and shoulders. Honestly, the kid looks a little like Atsushi, but if he was…

A child wearing an adults clothes.

Honestly, the eyes and hair should have been his first clue. He’ll blame the shock for that.

He steps closer, mouth opening to tease, try regain some normalcy– But Atsushi scrambles back, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks anew. “W-wait– please don't– don't bring me back, I didn't mean to–” Atsushi continues to murmur– about punishment and more apologies– but Dazai doesn't hear him over the rush of thoughts.

…Well, at least they know what her ability is.

Atsushi is still crying.

…what would he do?

Slowly, Dazai sinks to his knees a few feet away from Atsushi, smiling what he hopes is a comforting smile. “Hey, hey, are you alright kid?”

Atsushi doesn't reply– eyes wide and far away as he continues to shake. Dazai resists the urge to sigh in annoyance, smile dropping slightly. He scoots closer, holding a hand out towards Atsushi. 

“Atsushi,” He murmurs quietly, voice tinged with a softness that surprises even him. “I promise you're safe right now. Come here, I’ll even… pinky promise?” He has absolutely no fucking clue what hes doing.

Miraculously, that seems to catch Atsushi’s attention, seeing as his sniffles quieted down, slowly, he peeked up over his arms, sunset eyes wide and tear filled. “..P-promise.?” The boy murmurs, eyes locking on Dazai’s outstretched hand.

He nodded slowly, a smile spreading across his face again. “Promise–” He cuts himself off with a grunt, eyes widening at the sudden weight against his chest. Atsushi had practically thrown himself at him, curling up in his lap and shaking beginning anew.

Dazai stares at the crown of little Atsushi’s head, eyes wide.

He didn't change back. The ability wasn't nullified.

Slowly, he wrapped his previously outstretched arm around Atsushi’s shoulders. He carefully started to card his fingers through Atsushi’s choppy locks, his other arm coming up to stroke Atsushi’s back.

…Shit, what the fuck is he going to tell the agency?

Kunikida had a very tight schedule.

But Kunikida also had a time wasting bastard as his partner, so he’s come to expect disruptions and chaos whenever Dazai stepped into his path with that grin on his face. 

So when Dazai and Atsushi were sent out on a mission to catch a woman wanted by the government, he expected the phone call he received not even two hours later. “This better be good news, Dazai.” He answered gruffly, despite knowing that was almost certainly not the case.

What was surprising was how quietly Dazai answered the phone. “Kunikida-kun,” He started, voice so low Kunikida almost strained to hear him. “Can you come to our location? There's been an… incident.” Kunikida has never heard him speak that calmly unless it was something truly serious.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Kunikida expected a lot when he arrived at the warehouse Dazai and Atsushi were supposedly in. Injuries, an ambush, something rational.

What he found was Dazai, all by himself, trying to coax someone out from behind a crate.

“Dazai!” He called out once he was close enough, slowing to a jog. Dazai was sans his coat, and Atsushi was nowhere to be seen. “Whats the situation? And where’s Atsushi?”

Dazai stood slowly, eyes trained on that crate as he spoke. “The target got away, and she hit Atsushi with her ability.” He explained calmly, continuing before kunikida could process that. “Atsushi-kun, could you come here please? This is the co-worker I was telling you about, remember?”

He wonders briefly why Dazai would need to tell Atsushi about him, but all rational thought leaves him as a tiny child– a tiny Atsushi, wearing Dazai’s missing coat– crawls out from behind the crate, staring at him with uncertainty. 

“Atsushi,” Dazai murmurs again, and Atsushi takes a step closer, clinging to Dazai’s side once he gets close enough. Dazai takes one look at Kunikida, and his shocked expression, and attempts to joke, waving his hands about theatrically. 

“Surprise..!” He cheers weekly, smile strained. Kunikida took a long, deep breath, and released it in a long, suffering sigh.

Well, there goes any hope at maintaining his schedule…

The ride back to the agency is mercifully quiet.

He could not handle more screaming today.

Atsushi was with him in the back seat, sitting still beside him, very clearly trying not to pass out or lean into the warmth he was providing. It's almost funny, really, watching him fight this losing battle.

Still, he can only watch the kid sit upright in a panic so many times before that got boring, so he carefully manoeuvred his arm around Atsushi, pulling the kid against him properly. 

“It's alright, Atsushi-kun” He whispered quietly, hand coming up to rest in the kids' hair. “You can go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?” So many promises today, how many can he really keep in the end?

“..okay,” Atsushi murmured, eyes falling shut a moment after. Slowly, Atsushi’s breathing evened out, weight settling against Dazai’s side firmly. Granted, it wasn’t much weight at all, but…

He’d have to hand Atsushi off to Yosano the moment they got back.

“Kunikida,” He called out, not taking his eyes off Atsushi for some reason. His partner, who obviously wanted to scream and ask a million questions, hummed stiffly in reply. “When will we get to the agency?” 

“Just need to park, Dazai.” Kunikida answered quietly, hands clenching the steering wheel. Dazai tilted his head, peering out the leftmost window of the car.  Hm, seems they were there already. 

Dazai hadn’t noticed.

As Kunikida got out of the car, Dazai was met with a new problem. Getting up without waking Atsushi. He didn’t know why he didn’t want the kid to stay asleep so badly, but he did.

Glancing down at Atsushi, he frowns for a moment before sighing, carefully bracing one hand on his back, the other circling under his thighs. He carefully pulled Atsushi into his arms as he backed out of the vehicle, adjusting the boy slightly as he went.

Atsushi ended up nestled in his arms, head resting gently on his shoulder. 

He sighed, adjusting Atsushi once more in his arms before following Kunikida up the stairs to the agency. He pulled his coat up over Atsushi’s head, shielding him from the setting sun’s light, and the stares of the secretaries as they walked by.

Kunikida took a long look at Dazai, and their currently much younger co-worker, before sighing. “I’ll alert the president, you should get him to Yosano-sensei.” He instructed, turning towards the president's office, leaving Dazai alone.

Well, I was planning to do that anyway…

Adjusting his hold on Atsushi once more, he turned down the hallway towards Yosano’s office. He felt Atsushi shift slightly and he slowed his pace, pushing the door of the infirmary open with his shoulder. “Yosano-sensei,” He called out, eyes scanning over the room until he located the woman. “I’ve got a patient for you!”

“Dazai,” Yosano chuckles, setting something down on her desk as she turns around. “You know it's my break– eh?” She pauses, taking in the bundle held in Dazai’s arms. She looked between the concealed boy and Dazai, eyebrows slowly raising. “Dazai,” She starts coolly, stepping closer with an icy stare. “What’s that?”

“Aha, well…” He starts hesitantly, skin prickling under Yosano’s focused stare. He eventually sighed, pulling back the fabric of his coat with no flourish. 

Yosano stepped back, eyes widening at the unmistakable appearance of Atsushi. “Is that..?” she murmured quietly, reaching a hand out to run her hand over Atsushi’s head, pressing gently against his back.

“Yes, and I'd like you to look him over so we know if he’s malnourished or something.” Because kids shouldn't be this light, right? He wasn't sure how old Atsushi even was but surely no child over the age of three should be this light??

Yosano sighed, reaching over and carefully pulling Atsushi to her chest, setting him down on one of the medical beds. Dazai’s hand clenched into fists twice before his arms dropped to his sides, clearing his throat. “I’ll leave you to it, then–?”

The door behind him creaked open, Ranpo poking his head out. “Oh good, you're in here.” He grins, pushing the door open fully and stepping inside. “Shachou called a meeting, ten minutes from now.” He nodded towards Yosano and Atsushi, reaching out and pulling Dazai away by his sleeve. “You can finish up in here Aikiko, I need to borrow this one!”

Yosano hummed in ascent, pulling on her gloves as she prepared for the examination. Dazai didn’t protest as Ranpo pulled him out, whining playfully as Ranpo slowed to a stop. “So, what can I help you with, Ranpo-san?”

Ranpo leveled him with a deadpan stare, grinning despite himself. “You're the best person for this job, no matter what you think.” He stated confidently, pulling a lollipop from the depths of his coat and unwrapping it quickly, popping the sweet into his mouth and offering no other explanation.

Dazai grinned, tilting his head. “Is this your cryptic attempt at being comforting or something? Ranpo-san,” He cooed, pressing a hand to his chest. “Im flattered, really, but–”

“I’m not trying to be comforting,” Ranpo cut in, continuing to smile. “I’m telling you what you're going to do when the time comes.” 

Dazai blinked, smiling blankly for a moment before chuckling, face darkening slightly. “Ah, so this is a command from my superior, then?” He asked rhetorically, laughing when Ranpo just smiled. “Cryptic as always, Ranpo-san. I'll keep that in mind.”

“Dazai, Ranpo-san,” Kunikida calls out, peering around the doorway of the meeting room. He gestures inside, face serious. “Meeting, now.”

Ranpo sweeps past him, ducking behind Kunikida and disappearing into the meeting room. Dazai hesitates for a moment, eyes lingering on the closed door to Yosano’s office for a moment before he turns away, walking towards the meeting room.

Kunikida catches his shoulder, turning him to face the blonde's worried gaze. The man roamed over his face for a moment before sighing, letting his shoulder go and walking to his seat. He watched the man for a moment before sighing, rolling his eyes and walking to his seat as well.

“Is everyone here?” The president asks suddenly, looking around the room. There was a chorus of mumbled “yes’s”  from around the table, and the president nodded once before turning his attention to Dazai. “Dazai, explain the situation.”

“Atsushi-kun was hit by the target’s ability– which we now know de-ages the affected for an unknown amount of time.” He starts firmly, eyes boring into the president’s as his co-workers began to murmur around him.

“Does that mean Atsushi-san is a child?” Naomi speaks up, looking between Dazai and the president with sparkling eyes. Dazai nods once, and she asks another question. “How old is he?”

Dazai resists the urge to cringe, schooling his features into cold indifference. “We’re not sure– he's severely underweight and malnourished, but I doubt he’s older than ten.” The energy in the room becomes somber– everyone knew of the mistreatment Atsushi faced in his childhood, but to have the proof right in front of them was a different matter entirely.

“Can’t you just nullify the ability?” Kenji speaks up, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. Dazai shook his head, shrugging his shoulders. “Already tried that, We have to find the target to nullify the ability.”

“So, who’s gonna look after him until this is all over?” Junichirou asks hesitantly, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. Naomi’s hand shoots up, ready to volunteer before the president shakes his head, mouth set in a thin line.

“You two, Kyouka-chan and Kenji-kun are out of the question,” He states firmly, eyes lingering on the younger members of the agency. “You’re all too young to look after a child. Someone else will do it.”

“I can’t.” Ranpo speaks up, to the objection of no one, focused on building a small hut out of lollipop sticks. “Akiko can’t either, her dorm is full of medical equipment.” He huffs as the hut falls apart, starting again.

“I can–” Kunikida starts, flipping through his ideals book– likely making room in his schedule for a child– when the president speaks up, eyes on Dazai.

“Dazai shall do it.”

“What?!” The room screeched– Dazai included. He leans back against his seat, wide eyes locked onto the president's calm expression. “Boss, surely you misspoke??” He asks immediately, hands straining against the desk.

Kunikida cuts in immediately after him, nearly neurotic as he speaks. “There’s no way you’re serious, sir! Dazai couldn't keep a plant alive, let alone a child!” He gasps in offence, pressing a hand against his chest.

“Kunikida-kun!” He starts, aghast. “How rude! Have a little faith in me, at least!” Sure, he didn’t have a lick of faith in himself, but it's the principle of the matter!!

“Atsushi won’t have control of his ability just yet,” The president explains, shutting his eyes calmly. “Dazai is the only one who can stop the tiger without hurting Atsushi, therefore he should be the one looking after him in his current state.”

Dazai opens his mouth to protest again when he catches Ranpo’s gaze. The older detective is staring at him, a small grin on his face. Dazai is reminded of their earlier conversations and after a moment of hesitation, despite his misbelief, sighs. 

“I’ll do it.”

Atsushi wakes up warm and surprisingly comfortable.

He shifts in place, curling up around himself and sighing softly. He could have sworn he fell asleep in the cage last night but…

…?

Slowly cracking his eyes open, Atsushi is greeted with sterile white sheets and walls. Sitting up quickly, he stares wide eyed at the unfamiliar room. Where…?

Fabric brushes against his neck and he looks down at himself, finally noticing the long brown coat he was wearing over some oversized clothes he didn't recognise. The coat is slightly more familiar, but why?

The man from the warehouse. 

He sits up straighter, eyes darting around the room for the strange man who had leant him his coat and had promised to be there when he awoke. He was met with an empty room. He’d promised he’d be here, didn't he? He wouldn't abandon him so soon, right??

Worthless good for nothing.

No, no, the man said he’d be there, Atsushi just had to wait.

He’s not coming back, he left just like everyone else. Just like your parents.

Atsushi scrambled out of the bed, dragging the blanket down with him. He scrambled for a moment, caught in the sheets before he broke free, backing away from the bed quickly.

He curled up into a ball, covering his ear with his hands as the voices continued to berate him. He squeezed his eyes shut, breathing quickly. He tensed as he heard voices approaching the room he was in. Were they going to send him back? No! He wouldn't let them., he couldn't go back–

Eyes wide, Atsushi dived under the bed, curling into a ball and staring at the door with bated breath.

The door creaked open slowly, and Atsushi watched one person step into the room before shutting the door behind them. They still suddenly, seeming to look over the room before sighing, dropping slowly to their knees. Atsushi watched with teary eyes as–

“Atsushi-kun, are you under there?”

…!

He came back!

Atsushi slowly climbed out from under the bed, eyes wide as he took in the brown haired man. “..You came back.” He murmured quietly, disbelief clear in his voice. 

The man– he still didn't know his name– seemed amused and confused by what he said, eyes twinkling. “Of course I did!” He laughs, titling his head. “I promised, didn't I? And,” he points to the coat wrapped around Atsushi’s shoulders. “You still have my coat.”

Atsushi panicked, practically tearing the jacket off his shoulders and handing it back to the man. “S-Sorry!” He apologised, eyes squeezing shut as he awaited the punishment for stealing.

The jacket was carefully pulled from his grasp and pulled back over his shoulders, causing Atsushi to gasp and open his eyes, staring at the man with disbelief. The man only smiled. “You can keep it for now, Atsushi-kun. You must be cold, right?”

Atsushi slowly nodded, words escaping him at the moment. They sat in awkward silence for a moment before the man coughed, clearing his throat before he spoke. “So, Atsushi,” He starts, clasping his hands together. “Due to some specific circumstances, you’ll be needing to stay with me for a while.. Yayyy..!”

Despite his lackluster cheering, Atsushi felt tears welling up in his eyes. “I get to stay? You’re not sending me back?” He asks hesitantly, hands shaking at his side. The man nods once, and Atsushi feels the tears streaming down his face.

“Oh, Atsushi-kun,” The man coos, reaching out and hesitantly pulling him forward into his chest, warmth enveloping him. Atsushi shakes against the man’s chest, trying not to cry too loudly or stain his nice shirt. The man runs his hand up and down Atsushi’s back haltingly, touch hesitant but firm.

Atsushi slowly stops crying, still shaking in the warm embrace. The man pulls back slightly, peering down at him with a small grin. “So, any questions before I call Yosano-sensei in here?”

Atsushi stared up at the man before nodding slowly, looking down at his hands and staring to fidget.

“Um… what's your name, mister?”

“...Fuck–”

After finally introducing himself– and making Atsushi swear not to repeat what he said– he called Yosano back into the room to learn what specifically was wrong with Atsushi currently. Atsushi clung to his legs as Yosano came in, peering out from behind his legs at the woman.

“Well, it's like what you said." She starts off, frowning slightly as she holds out a sheet of paper. “He’s malnourished and severely underfed– traumatised, but we knew that already.” She shoves the paper into his hands, gesturing for Dazai to read it. “I didn't have time for a full check up, but I believe he’s about nine years old.”

He hasn’t even hit double digits yet?

He scanned the words written on the page and hummed.“I assume this is all the things I'll need to research to properly look after him?” He asks quietly, and Yosano nods, peeling her disposable gloves off.

“And don’t worry too much about buying clothes or other necessities,” She hums, pulling her usual black gloves on instead. He makes a confused noise in his throat and she grins, laughing slightly. “The agency will handle it.” She says, and Dazai hums.

“Well, Atsushi-kun!” He murmurs cheerfully, looking down at the boy clinging to his leg. “It seems we can finally go home now!” He grins, stepping towards the door in a single long stride.

Atsushi lingers for a moment, staring at Yosano before bowing deeply, squeezing his eyes shut. “Um… Thank you, ishi-sensei!” He rushes out, voice shaking.

Yosano hums, smiling softly at the child. “My name is Yosano, Atsushi, there’s no need to thank me.” She explains gently, crouching down to meet Atsushi’s gaze. If Dazai hadn't seen her tear men apart for breathing too loudly in her general direction, he would have called her motherly.

Atsushi straightens up, shaking with uncertainty. “O-okay, Yosano-sensei…” He murmurs before rushing over to Dazai, little hand coming up to grab his sleeve. Yosano shakes her head, laughing goodnaturedly, while Dazai stares down at where Atsushi is grabbing onto him.

“Goodbye, Atsushi-kun, Dazai,” She concludes, shooing them out of her office politely. Dazai stands in the hallway for a moment before shifting his wrist, catching Atsushi’s hand in his own, carefully tugging him out of the agency without being seen. He doesn't want to overwhelm Atsushi with their co-workers just yet.

“So, Atsushi-kun, are you hungry?” He asks suddenly, making his way down the stairs of the agency, towards his dorm. “I don't have much, but I should have the ingredients for chazuke!” Tea on rice is a light enough meal right?

Atsushi looks up, stumbling over his feet and words before he manages, “I.. If you don’t mind..?” He murmurs hesitantly. Dazai notices that Atsushi is struggling to keep up with his long strides, so he slows to a stop, looking down at Atsushi carefully.

He’s not wearing any shoes, either… “Atsushi-kun,” He starts carefully, trying to sound as gentle as possible. “Is it alright if I carry you? I don’t want you to get lost!” He deflects easily, laughing cheerfully.

Atsushi stares up at him with wide eyes before quietly nodding, starstruck. He bends down and wraps his arms around Atsushi’s middle, pulling up and resting him on his hip, adjusting his hold to carry the kid comfortably. Atsushi is incredibly still in his arms until he’s properly positioned, resting his head carefully on Dazai’s shoulder again.

Dazai hums, tightening his hold on Atsushi for a second before relaxing, stepping over the threshold of the agency and out onto the streets. The agency dorms are, thankfully, relatively close by, so the walk takes no longer than ten minutes.

He has to shift Atsushi around to unlock the door to his dorm, but Atsushi barely stirs. He sets the kid down on the couch Kunikida forced him to buy a year or two ago and makes his way into the small kitchen, looking over the meager ingredients. He’d definitely have to go food shopping tomorrow then…

Chazuke is an easy meal to make, usually made with the leftover rice from prior meals. He has to search for some green tea leaves, and then for his tetsubin to boil the water, his rice cooker– it’s a process that takes longer than it should. 

Atsushi sleeps for another twenty minutes– long enough that Dazai worries if he'll even be tired enough to actually sleep later that night. He finally stirs as Dazai is pouring the sencha over the rice. Dazai leads him over to the kotatsu and plates their food, murmuring “itadakimasu” quietly before digging in.

Atsushi hesitates for a moment before slowly beginning to eat as well. Chazuke is, admittedly, a hard meal to fuck up. Still, Atsushi doesn't complain even if something is wrong with his food– he almost starts to smile as he eats, which makes something in his chest stir.

Atsushi finishes his portion first and is obviously still hungry, but he doesn't ask for more. Dazai is decently sure you're not supposed to eat too much if you were starved– something about the stomach shrinking?– so he doesn't push the topic, finishing off his own meal and dumping their bowls into the sink.

He leads Atsushi into the bedroom and searches through his closet for a shirt Atsushi can borrow, tossing a loose fitting gray t-shirt his way before gathering up his own night clothes and walking towards the tiny bathroom to get changed. 

“You can borrow one of my shirts and get ready in here, okay Atsushi-kun?” He calls over his shoulder, watching Atsushi fidget with the shirt before nodding. Great, at least the kid’s quiet.

Dazai takes a moment to breathe. He does not know how to look after children– look at how Akutagawa turned out! Really, it's a miracle Odasaku let him around the orphans as much as he did. Still, he made a promise to the president, and he wants to prove Kunikida wrong, so he’ll just… Have to learn.

Really, how hard could it be?

Undressing takes a while, and he debates changing his bandages before deciding to do that tomorrow– he wouldn’t– and pulling on his usual night clothes and finally exiting the bathroom.

It's going to be an adjustment, having to share the futon but–

Atsushi was curled up in the corner of the room, shivering slightly with his eyes closed.

…Fuck.

“Atsushi-kun,” He starts hesitantly, kneeling down slowly to meet Atsushi’s gaze. “What are you doing on the floor?” He does his best to keep his voice down, so as to not scare Atsushi… more than he already was, anyway.

“...’cus– because I’m going to sleep..?” The boy murmured hesitantly, lifting his head and shaking his white hair out of his eyes. He didn't seem to understand what Dazai was upset by, causing the boy to tremble slightly. “Sorry..”

Dazai sighed and, slowly, slowly, reached forward and wrapped his arms under Atsushi’s armpits again, pulling the little tiger boy into his arms again. “C’mon, kid,” He stands carefully, wrapping an arm under Atsushi’s knees and walking towards the futon. 

He pulls the blankets back and deposits the young boy onto the futon, climbing in beside him and putting a decent amount of space between them. “You can sleep on the futon with me, okay?” He murmured quietly, shutting his eyes and pulling the blankets up over both of them.

Atsushi remains tense under the blankets for a moment before slowly relaxing, and Dazai assumes that will be the end of this.

It’s not.

As Dazai attempts to fall asleep, Atsushi keeps shuffling, caught between moving away and moving closer towards the warmth Dazai’s body exudes. Dazai sighs suddenly, lifting his arm up. “Come here, Atsushi.” He hummed as Atsushi scooted closer, letting his arm drop and hugging Atsushi to his chest.

He carded his fingers through Atsushi’s messy hair, humming absently. “Sleep, Atsushi,” Hu mumbled, as Atsushi’s small hands came up to grip his shirt tightly. “I’ll still be here in the morning, I promise.”

He feels Atsushi nod against him and he sighs, finally drifting off.

Chapter Text

It’s cold in the cage, down in the basement.

He doesn't know what he did this time to be caged up– his memories of the day fuzzy and just barely out of reach– but he must have done something terrible, because the head master is standing before him, gaze cold and angry.

He presses back against the wall, knees drawing up to his chest as he stifles a whimper. Children who don't have parents don't deserve to cry, that's what the headmaster said.

He expects the headmaster to come closer any minute and punish him– for what, he still doesn’t know. Still, he thinks the silence and isolation is worse than when the headmaster berates him. At least when the headmaster’s yelling, there's something anchoring him to the world.

Wasn’t he somewhere else, before he went to bed? Wasn't he warm and safe, once?

No, he doesn't deserve something as sweet as that.

The stairs leading up into the orphanage creaks under the weight of something far heavier than a human, and Atsushi tenses immediately. The headmaster doent move, but Atsushi knows what he heard was real. .

The stairs continue to creak, whatever was coming down the stairs was doing so slowly, and loudly. Atsushi curls into a ball, ducking his head and peering over his knees. Please, just leave me alone.

Something moves in the shadows to his right, a few small rocks scratching against the floor. It’s the wind, it has to be. The sounds are coming from the stairs, and those are to the left of him. He’s safe in the cage, for once.

A large something lumbers through the shadows from the stairwell, eyes catching the light. Stilling suddenly, Atsushi holds his breath as the creature steps into the light.

It’s a tiger. A beautiful white tigers that makes his stomach drop and his chest light. He doesn’t know whether to be afraid or calm. He’s almost certain that there are no wild tigers in Japan, but that barely crosses his mind as the tiger steps closer to the cage, peering at him through the bars.

Something about the tiger is familiar, like seeing your reflection in a dream. Recognisable, but warped. Changed in some integral way that leaves you waking feeling more tired than before you slept.

The tiger makes a low huffing sound, swiping lazily at the bars of the cage. Atsushi gets the impression the tiger is annoyed about the cage’s presence. The tiger makes that same sound and sits.

Atsushi makes eye contact with the creature for a long while. Why is it so familiar? He’s never even seen a tiger in real life, so why does he—?

A sudden searing pain cuts through his thoughts, hands flying to his face.

The headmaster lears over him, lips pulled back into a snarl. Hammer and nail in hand.

He hears a loud, animalistic growl and then—

Silence.

Dazai rarely sleeps through the night.

He either can’t sleep for hours until it’s six in the morning and it’s too late to get any meaningful rest but he’ll pass out anyway and wake up at eleven, or he actually manages to go to bed at a decent time and wakes to nightmares that haunt him both in sleep and waking.

Tonight, however, he doesn’t wake from night terrors. Tonight, he wakes to the quiet whimpers of fear, not unlike a wounded animal might make, coming from the other side of his futon.

It takes him a moment to peel his eyes open, lashes sticking together and making it all the harder to stay awake long enough to see what was making that sound—

He opens his eyes to a small body, curled up and shaking a few centimetres away from him. It takes him a moment to remember what happened yesterday. Why there was a child in his futon with him.

Atsushi.

Dazai has never been good at emotional things– comforting a child, while easy in theory, was much harder in practice. Especially when that child was severely traumatised and terrified of being a burden.

He remembers once, when he was younger, accidentally scaring one of Odasaku’s orphans. He doesn't even remember what he did specifically, just that he scared her.

…what did Odasaku do to comfort her?

“Atsushi,” he murmurs after a deep breath, sitting up slowly. There's a crick in his neck that makes him cringe, but he powers through the discomfort until he’s sitting upright. Until he's staring down at Atsushi’s shaking form.

He hesitantly reaches out, setting a hand on Atsushi’s shoulder. “Atsushi,” He repeats, firmer as Atsushi continues to shake. His hands squeeze the flesh of Atsushi’s shoulder for a moment before he leans forward onto his knees, shaking Atsushi carefully. “Atsushi, wake up.”

Gentler, something in his brain urges quietly, and he sighs, settling back onto his shins. He tugs Atsushi closer with one hand, the other coming up to card through Atsushi’s hair slowly. “Atsushi-kun…” He coos, willing his voice to sound soft and playful. “It’s alright, I'm right here, you know?”

“Ne, Atsushi-kun~” He hums, pulling Atsushi closer. He stills as Atsushi scoots closer of his own volition, the young boy now resting pretty firmly in his lap. The hand that was trailing through Atsushi’s hair stills for a moment and the boy whines in response, kickstarting his brain back into working order.

“..Ah, Atsushi..” He sighed, slowly resuming his ministrations. He looks down to see Atsushi slowly blinking awake, eyes wide and panicked. “Are you awake now?” If Atsushi was awake, it would… probably be easier to calm him down. 

…probably.

Still shaking, Atsushi carefully nods. He hums, looking off to the side. What would Odasaku do?

“Atsushi,” He starts slowly, hesitant. He’s never been good at comforting people, and the sight of tears has always made him uncomfortable. “Did you have a bad dream?”

He feels Atsushi nod slowly again and he continues. When he was younger, he hated people pushing him for his feelings– he’d never wanted to talk about anything serious. “That must have been scary, but you shouldn't feel too afraid!” He’ll offer Atsushi that grace. For now, at least.

Atsushi makes a quiet sound, apparently not up for speaking at the moment. He laughs quietly, trying very hard to appear genuine and soft and safe. “I’m here now, Atsushi. I won't let anything hurt you now, alright?”

Atsushi shifts in place, looking up at him with wide, teary eyes. “...Promise?” He murmurs quietly, holding his pinkie finger out hesitantly. Dazai feels his gaze soften, and something in his chest stirs. “I promise, kid.” He smiles, locking their fingers together.

Atsushi hums quietly, slowly closing his eyes and settling firmly against Dazai’s chest. Dazai looks down at the boy for a long moment before slowly laying back down, holding Atsushi against him.

He wants to lay awake, analyse what just happened– what he just promised– but it’s late. And the feeling of Atsushi clinging to him, the warmth they are sharing, is making him drowsy.

For once, he will rest. For once, he won't lie awake, analysing every move and word and thought.

For once, he will allow himself the illusion of being good.

He drifts off to sleep easily.

Dazai awakes before Atsushi does. Awakes before the alarms kunikida set for him, awakes well before the agency even opens its doors.

It takes him a moment to pull himself out of bed– and subsequently let go of Atsushi. He manages, eventually, and busies himself on his phone for a bit, eyes catching on a message from Yosano, sent late last night… or early this morning?

Dr. Yosano: When you come into work tomorrow, come by my office with Atsushi for another check up.

And, then, another message sent shortly after,

Dr.Yosano: And don’t worry too much about buying stuff for Atsushi. I’ll handle that ;)

He stares at the messages blankly before finally getting up to get dressed. He’s not awake enough to worry about that right now.

He finds his clothes easily, seeing as it's practically the only thing he wears, but Atsushi had his coat last night and he can’t find it immediately. He considers searching the dorm for the coat before looking very pointedly in Atsushi’s direction. He didn't want to wake the kid up and have to deal with… emotions.

Stepping around the futon and into the bathroom is easy. Changing quietly in the cramped space is not. He avoids looking at his reflection, buttoning up his vest with slow fingers. He runs a hand through his hair in a pathetic attempt to tame his hair before stepping out.

Atsushi is still asleep.

There’s not much he can do without risking Atsushi waking up, and work doesn’t start for another few hours. And he doesn't want to come in too early– Kunikida would be too organised then! Or, would seeing Dazai come in before him set him off schedule?

Focusing on that train of thought instead of the tiger shaped problem in his futon, he absently searches for his coat, picking up empty glasses of sake as he goes.

He finds the coat sprawled across the couch, where Atsushi was napping last night and cringes as he picks the fabric up. It's wrinkled, but he’s never particularly cared about that. He glances at his phone’s clock while he shrugs the coat over his shoulders. Almost seven in the morning–

He's struggling with the sleeves of the tan coat when he hears movement from his tiny room. He almost trips over himself in his rush to see Atsushi waking up. The kid freaked out last time he woke up and Dazai wasn't there, he doesn't want a repeat performance in his apartment.

Atsushi was sleepily blinking at the blankets around him as Dazai steps into the room, coat finally settled properly over him. “Ne, Atsushi-kun!” He calls, tone far too bright for six in the morning. “It’s so early, don’t you think?”

Atsushi simply stares up at him, sunset eyes glazed with sleep. It reminds Dazai of a cat that’s just woken up– he half expects Atsushi to practically unhinge his jaw to yawn like a cat, too. His eyes catch on the heap of– surprisingly neatly folded– clothes Atsushi had discarded last night.

Ah, right. That might be an issue, actually.

Those clothes were far too big for Atsushi currently. And, due to Atsushi’s young age and size, neither Kenji’s or Kyouka’s clothes would fit him either. Although, Dazai didn’t think Atsushi would care too much..

He drags his eyes over to his own closet. Almost all of his clothes would be too big on Atsushi, but he couldn't very well wake anyone up at this time to ask for better fitting clothes. And Atsushi didn't seem to mind wearing his coat yesterday and his shirt to bed last night.

Atsushi was still sitting in bed, blinking slowly at him while he dug through his closet for a shirt and some shorts. Dazai finds a pair of shorts that definitely aren't his and laughs triumphantly, grabbing a simple shirt and tossing them at Atsushi with a grin. “Here, Atsushi-kun! Put these on for me while I make breakfast!”

Atsushi clutches the fabric to his chest slightly, eyes following him as he leaves the room.

Stepping into his kitchen, his grin drops as he scours the cabinets for something edible. Apparently, that tea on rice was made of everything in his apartment, meaning he’d have to buy groceries today, alongside proper clothes for Atsushi.

Still, that was a problem for Later Dazai, Now Dazai had to worry about breakfast. They’d have to eat out or something, but Dazai wasn't sure if anywhere would be open this early… Anywhere kid friendly, at least.

He pulls out his phone, eyes catching on those messages from Yosano again. “Don’t worry too much about buying stuff for Atsushi. I’ll handle that.” What stuff specifically?? The intentionally vague wording was noted and very annoying…

He thinks for a moment before exiting the app and typing the name of a local cafe into the search bar. It opened decently early… early enough to be in full swing when Kunikida grew tired of waiting and simply dragged him to work.

“Alright, Atsushi!” he calls out cheerfully, stepping back into his room before pausing.

The clothes, like he expected, were much too big for Atsushi at his current size. What Dazai didn't expect was just how little Atsushi looked. He knew Atsushi was small– the kid weighed less than an office chair– but it was startling to see just how much he had shrunk.

If the Adult Atsushi had borrowed his shirt, it would have been baggy on him, sure, but Child Atsushi was practically drowning in the fabric. The hem of the shirt went down to his knees . Something stirred in his chest again, a feeling Dazai couldn’t recognise.

He stared for a moment, oddly caught up by the sight before snapping out of whatever trance he was in. “Awh, Atsushi~!” Dazai cooed, drawing out the syllables in Atsushi’s name. “Don't you look cute!” He teased, leaning down to meet Atsushi’s much more aware gaze.

Atsushi’s eyes widened, embarrassment obvious. He tugged at the fabric for a moment before looking up at Dazai again with some unfamiliar emotion clouding his gaze. “..Really?” He asked– Hopefully, Dazai realised– eyes shining.

Dazai’s gaze softened, just for a moment, reaching out to ruffle Atsushi’s choppy hair. “Yep!” He hums, popping the p with a smile. He leans back, standing in one fluid movement. “Now, how would you feel about going out for breakfast?”

Atsushi tilted his head. “..Both of us?” He asks quietly, and Dazai knows what he’s really asking. I get to eat as well? His blood boils, and he tries very hard not to let the irritation show on his face.

“Thats right! I know just the place, and–” His gaze catches on Atsushi’s still shoeless feet. “..I have to carry you to get there!” He leans closer, grinning playfully. “It's top secret, y’know?” He stage-whispers, winking dramatically.

Atsushi’s eyes widen for a split second before he nods, determined. Dazai almost laughs at how serious he looks. “Fantastic,” He cheers, scooping Atsushi up carefully– telegraphing his movements, for once. “Lets head out now then!”

“Now?” Atsushi asks, stunned. Dazai nods seriously, shutting his eyes as he walks towards the front door. “Yes, yes! We have to leave before anyone can spot us! You also have to be very quiet until we’re out of the dorms.”

He shoots Atsushi a smile, adjusting his hold on the kid as he grabs his wallet– containing Kunikida’s credit card, of course. “Can you be a sneaky tiger, Atsushi-kun?” He teases, cracking the door open slowly, voice hushed.

Atsushi nods confidently, covering his mouth with a thumbs up. “Mhm!” He hums, kicking his feet slightly. Dazai smiles again, softer this time, as he sneaks out of his dorm and towards the cafe.

The cafe is, blessedly, open. The food is decent– nothing to write home about, even if he had someone to write too. Despite that, Atsushi ate the food with no complaint. Dazai almost assumed that Atsushi would eat anything at the moment, and the thought made him…

Hm.

Still, they manage to waste a solid two hours in that cafe. And then they stumble across an empty playground and Dazai spots the swingset at the back, and…

Well, the agency is certainly open now.

Dazai dreads looking at his phone– even just imagining the amount of missed calls and unanswered messages sends shivers down his spine!

“Uhm– mister Dazai.. Sir..?”

Atsushi’s quiet voice brings him back to the present. The young boy kicks his feet quietly, slowly swinging back and forth on the swing. He tilts his head, reaching out and pushing Atsushi carefully. “Hm? What's up, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi tenses for a moment as Dazai touches his back before relaxing as he swings quicker, giggling quietly. “I was just wondering, um… how long are we gonna stay here?” he asks  quietly, looking around the still empty playground.

Dazai almost sighs but refrains, pulling out his phone with a grimace. He clears the countless messages from Kunikida carelessly, checking the time. They could stay here for another thirty minutes, at least , but– 

He should let Yosano look over Atsushi again.

“Not much longer, Atsushi-kun,” He sighed dramatically, putting his phone away quickly. “The agency will surely want to meet you like this.”

He and Atsushi walk into the agency and the room erupts into chaos.

Perhaps it's seeing just how young– and small, but why does his brain keep latching onto that fact – Atsushi really is. Or maybe it’s Dazai carrying Atsushi that sets them off.

Either way, his co-workers surround them quickly. Naomi coos, reaching out to touch Atsushi. “Awh, he’s so little! Look at his little face~!” She smiles, hand hovering over Atsushi’s head–

Atsushi whines, pressing his face into the fabric of Dazai’s shirt.

He steps back immediately, turning away from the young girl. His eyes dart around the room for a moment before he clears his throat and untenses slightly. He forces a smile. “...Perhaps we should let Atsushi adjust before crowding him, Naomi-chan?”

The teen stares blankly at the now hidden boy before nodding, stepping back and smoothing down her skirt. “Yeah, that's– I’m sorry, Atsushi-kun! I didn't mean to scare you,” She bows, expression forlorn.

Atsushi peers over Dazai’s shoulder, eyebrows furrowed with wide eyes. “I- It’s okay, miss– uh..” He glanced over at Dazai with wide eyes, scrambling. He smiled and tilted his head down, whispering against Atsushi’s hair, "That's Naomi-chan, Atsushi.”

Atsushi nods and smiles. “It's okay, Naomi-san!” The boy cheerfully hums. So forgiving… too kind for this world, Dazai thinks with hollow amusement. 

Yosano steps out of her office, raising an eyebrow at the crowd around Dazai and Atsushi. “Whats going on here?” She hums, setting her hands on her hips. “I thought this was a detective agency, shouldn’t you all be working?”

Kunikida straightened up, pushing his glasses up. “Yes, all of you! Back to work!” A chorus of whines and groans rose from the crowd. “You can all coo over Atsushi later, he needs to adjust.” The crowd, now sufficiently calmed, disappeared and Dazai was free to walk over to Yosano.

“Ah, Yosano-sensei,” He saunters over, grinning. “My knight in shining armour, truly.” He teases, stepping past her towards the infirmary.

She rolls her eyes at his antics, falling into step beside him. “Oh hush, you charmer.” She gently nudes him away, opening the door for him and Atsushi. “You looked like you were ready to start swinging. I just did you a favour.”

He carefully set Atsushi down on one of the beds in the infirmary, expression fixed on casual indifference. Was he? Did he truly look like that? Because– what, because Atsushi flinched?

He ran a hand through Atsushi’s hair before stepping away, leaning back against the wall. “Should I be here for this, doctor?” He asks cheerfully, tilting his head with a grin.

Yosano looks over at him with an amused grin, eyes glinting in the low light. “That depends.” She trails off, frustratingly vague. Is this how people feel talking to him? She turns her gaze onto Atsushi, visibly softening. “Atsushi, would you like Dazai to be here for your examination?”

Atsushi looks over at him with wide eyes again, searching for the “correct” answer. Dazai shrugs, smiling in what he hopes was a comforting manner. Atsushi stayed silent for a moment before hesitantly nodding. “..can he stay?” He asked quietly, fidgeting with his fingers.

Yosano chuckled, slowly reaching up to pat his head. “Of course he can, as long as you're comfortable.” She hummed, walking off to get the necessary tools– her stethoscope and the like, Dazai would guess. He tried not to think too much about the tools doctors use. Less stress that way.

Atsushi nods again, slowly kicking his legs with a small smile. “Yeah,” He mumbles, watching Yosano move through the space. “Feel comfy with Dazai-san here.”

…Ah, there's that stirring in his chest again.

Dazai blanks for most of the check up, only checking back into the real world to comfort Atsushi when things got too scary for the boy. The little tiger freaked out over the sight of needles and he ached in familiarity. Even then, he was more preoccupied with what Atsushi had said.

“I feel comfortable with Dazai here.”

It was an objectively silly thing to say– no one was comfortable around him, not truly. No one should feel safe next to him, especially not someone as kind and nice and good as Atsushi.

But that's exactly why he feels that way, isn't it?

Atsushi is, for all intents and purposes, a good person. Maybe not at his core– he's seen the boy be selfish and mean and almost pathetic at points– but he chooses to do good. And he chooses to trust Dazai.

“Alright, that's everything I needed to check.” Yosano calls out suddenly, guiding Atsushi to step off the scale. “Thank you for being so brave, Atsushi.” She smiles, ruffling Atsushi’s hair gently.

The moment he was free to do so, Atsushi scrambled over to him, hands coming up to catch the hem of his coat. He reaches down, almost instinctively, to pick Atsushi up again. It’s only kindness, He reasons. He’s still barefoot and very small, I'm just helping him not get lost, He deflects.

Yosano writes down his weight on her clipboard and nodded. “I’m gonna look over some studies– I'll send over some refined instructions by the end of the day.” She addresses Dazai, setting the clipboard to the side. “You're free to leave, I'm sure everyone out there is excited to see you again~”

Dazai rolls his eyes, chuckling playfully as Yosano struts across the room to open the door for him again. “I’m looking forward to it,” He murmurs coolly, stepping into the hallway. “Thank you, Yosano-sensei.”

She hums, leaning against the doorframe. “If you need anything–” She starts, and Dazai tenses up, laughing loudly.

“I’ll be fine, Yosano-sensei! Don't worry..” He stretches out the syllables of the words, calling out behind him as he walks away. “I’ll see you in a bit!”

He reaches Atsushi’s desk, setting Atsushi down in his chair and flopping down beside him. “Here, you can draw on these for a bit!” He cheers, handing Atsushi some random documents from his desk.

“Dazai–!” Kunikida starts, shoulders hunched. Whoops…

Atsushi liked it here, surrounded by these strange people.

Dazai-san was especially nice to him– he hadn't yelled or hit him, even when he misunderstood things. And, and– he tried to get Atsushi away from Noami-san when she scared him, and he gave good hugs.

He was a little scared when they walked in and were surrounded by the loud and overwhelmingly curious people– but then Yosano-sensei got them to go away for a bit and even if he had to sit through all those tests it was okay because he got his head pat again– twice!!

He kicked his feet, carefully drawing whatever came to mind, chewing on a yummy gummy snake– given to him by Ranpo-san to hold him over until lunch.

Yeah. Atsushi liked it here.

Chapter Text

It’s about halfway through the working day when Dazai becomes aware of the whispering.

It's not Atsushi– the kid’s been nearly silent since he sat down, and while that may be concerning, for a multitude of reasons, Dazai’s mostly glad for the lack of crying. The Tanizaki’s and Kyouka had been doing a good job of keeping Atsushi entertained.

But whenever he looks around to spot whomst the fuck  is whispering behind his back, the conversation stops. Still, he’s a detective, a pretty good one too, so he decides to sit quiet for a moment and simply listen.

Kunikida is across from him, diligently working. He’s taken some of Atsushi’s work for the time being– apparently not trusting Dazai to actually fill out the paper work. He doesn't seem to be aware of the whispering, but Dazai can see his jaw twitching, like he’s grinding his teeth.

Naomi, Junichiro and Kyouka are all settled around Atsushi– careful not to crowd the kid. He can see Atsushi shooting him looks every now and then, like he’s asking for permission, but that had gradually lessened throughout the day.

Kenji’s out on a “mission”– it's really just getting snacks for Ranpo. Speaking of Ranpo, Dazai keeps his head low as his gaze moves towards the older detective.

Ah, seems he’s found the source. But not the cause.

Both Ranpo and Yosano are huddled around Ranpo’s desk, sending pointed looks towards Atsushi. Dazai glances towards his phone– lying face down on the desk– reminded of the cryptic texts Yosano sent him earlier that morning.

Could they be–

“Atsushi,” Yosano calls out from across the room,voiced edged with a leading tone. “Are you feeling bored over there yet? I can’t imagine Dazai’s been entertaining you that much over there.” She teases, the corners of her lips pulling up as she catches Dazai’s offended gaze.

Atsushi fidgets with his hands, kicking his feet from where he sits in his swivel chair, and Dazai is briefly struck with the urge to grab his cheeks and shake him. “Uhm… Mr. Dazai isn't boring, he’s very silly!” Atsushi defends him, looking very upset at Yosano’s words.

Yosano shakes her head with a quiet laugh and Ranpo speaks up instead. “Well, are you getting bored just sitting in the office?” The older detective speaks up, somehow more bored than Atsushi.

Atsushi hums noncommittally, eyes darting to the side. He shrugs slightly. It’s a little disconcerting to see a child at that age so silent– Dazai hasn't met many children, to be fair, but he assumes most nine year olds are louder. Take up more space or something.

The office is silent for a moment before Yosano hums, tilting her head. “Me and Ranpo were planning on going shopping, would you like to come with us? We can get you some clothes that fit you?” Her gaze drops to Atsushi’s borrowed clothes pointedly.

Atsushi hums again, looking over at him a few times before hesitantly speaking up. “Can.. can mister Dazai come too?” And oh, Dazai needs to figure out what's wrong with his heart these days, because Atsushi’s going to give him a heart attack.

He wants to shake this child.

Affectionately.

Ah, his brain can’t express anything in a normal way, can it?

Yosano coos and looks toward him with a small smile. “That depends, does ‘mister Dazai’ want to go?” She stresses the words, pointedly staring at him with a mild expression.

Dazai hummed, tilting his head to the side as if considering. “Ah, I’d take any chance to get out of work!” He cheers, standing up and pulling Atsushi from his seat and setting him on his hip. “Let's go Atsushi-kun!!”

Atsushi looks up at him with wide eyes before nodding. “Okay, mister Dazai!” He hummed happily, half finished doodles happily forgotten in favour of an adventure.

“Not so fast, Dazai.” Kunikida huffed, standing from his seat a moment after them. “I will be accompanying you four to keep everything in check.” He states coolly, pushing his glasses up his nose, hand resting over his ideals book.

He picks the book up and flicks through it, stopping on a page and holding it out for Dazai to see. “Ive made an itinerary detailing what we’ll need and where to get it, including the differing prices from various stores–”

“That's so boring!” Ranpo whines, spinning in his chair as he complains. “Can we at least stop by a sweet store on our way back?” 

“No, Ranpo-san—”

“Atsushi!” Ranpo calls suddenly, chair stilling as he leans forward to meet Atsushi’s wide gaze. “Would you like to go to a sweet store on our way back?” The older detective questions, green eyes piercing.

It’s clear Kunikida wants to say something– about using Atsushi as leverage to get out of work and get more snacks– he restrains himself as Atsushi hesitantly nods. “If– If that's okay with everyone…?”

“I’m sure nobody will mind too much, right kunikida-kun?” Dazai coos, teasingly grinning over Atsushi’s head at kunikida’s enraged glare.

“Let's go already!” Ranpo groans, standing with a small huff. He walks towards the entrance and sets his hands on his hips when no one immediately follows after him. “Well? We havent got all dayyy!!”

“You heard the man,” Yosano hums, wrapping an arm around Kunikida’s shoulders and pulling him along. “Let’s get moving!”

Atsushi shifts in his hold– and Dazai worries that he wants to be put down or something– but he only turns to peer over Dazai’s shoulder and wave goodbye to the remaining detectives with a small “byeee!”

Dazai hums and follows after Yosano and a irate Kunikida, Atsushi in his arms.

Fifteen minutes or so later, and Dazai is standing in a grocery store a street away from the shopping mall Yosano had directed Ranpo and Kunikida in.

“We’ll worry about Atsushi’s necessities,” She had called over her shoulder, gloved hand digging into the fabric of Kunikida’s shoulders as she dragged him along. “You go buy groceries!”

He supposed there was a point to having him– and Atsushi, he amends as the kid kicks his feet in the seat flap– go get groceries. He knew what was missing in his apartment– practically everything.

Still, grocery shopping is, and always will be, a boring experience. Having Atsushi there makes it slightly more entertaining, of course– watching Atsushi marvel over the sheer amount of food the store held was both funny and depressing, for numerous reasons.

“Alright Atsushi-kun!” He cheers, placing a carton of milk into the cart. He gestures around the aisle, the choices near endless. “If you see anything you like, don't be afraid to ask! It’s all on the agency's card~” He grins, grabbing various packaged meats and tossing them into the cart behind him.

He knows there's a system to show stores like this display product– psychology was a surprisingly common tool used in marketing– but he just wants to get in and out as soon as possible. 

It’s midday on a Wednesday, so there’s not too many people in the store, but Atsushi is already getting overwhelmed, hands frequently coming up to cover his ears.

He doesn’t expect Atsushi to speak out about what he wants too much– but he’s pleasantly surprised when Atsushi reaches out to tug on his sleeve. “Hm? What is it, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi’s wide eyes peer up at him, before flicking over to a shelf of–

Ah, of course.

The shelf is piled high with matcha tea– he doesn't know if it's Atsushi’s favourite tea, but it's on sale and it's green tea. Awh, even as a child, Atsushi-kun’s so money-conscious!

…thats probably not a good thing.

Dazai smiles and ruffles Atsushi’s hair. “Alright, Atsushi-kun, we’ll get a few boxes for dinner tonight– not too many!” He chides, grabbing three boxes off the shelves. “You need to eat other food too, you know?”

“Awh, you're great with him.”

Dazai whirls around to find an older woman smiling warmly at Atsushi and him. “Eh? What do you mean?” He asks with a laugh, keeping a hand on the cart absently.

Her smile widens and she laughs lightly, covering her smile with a hand. “It’s not often you see a young father so involved with his children!” She coos calmly, like she hasn't rearranged Dazai’s world view. “You're a good role model for him, eh?”

He makes a few odd sounds in response and the woman laughs, beginning to walk down the aisle past him. She stops to whisper conspiratorily to Atsushi, raising a hand to her mouth. “You be good for your dad now, alright sweetheart?”

She hums and walks away, pushing her cart down the aisle leisurely.

Atsushi looks over at him with furrowed brows. “...Dazai-san?”

Dazai clears his throat and pushes the cart to the other end of the aisle. “Let's go Atsushi– we've got more foods to buy!” He cheers, slightly strained. He doesn't want to think about the implications of that… interaction.

Not in a grocery store, at least.

Thankfully, there are no further distractions while they shop for food.

Now, another twenty minutes later, he’s standing in the middle of a small park across from the shopping mall Yosano, Ranpo and Kunikida are still inside.

There's bags all around his feet, some beside him on the bench as he watches Atsushi explore the grass. He was hesitant to play in the grass at first, but he’d started rolling around like a cat in the sun soon enough.

It was adorable, Dazai took many photos.

Still, Atsushi was bound to get bored soon enough– or Dazai would get bored and drag Atsushi into his antics. Yosano and the others better get here soon–

“There you two are!”

Speak of the devil– or angel, he supposed.

He turns his head towards the entrance of the park and watches with mild amusement and Yosano and Ranpo walk towards him holding a few bags, while Kunikida carries the heaviest of the bags.

“How many things did you buy?” He wonders aloud with awe, peering into one of the bags Yosano is holding. A blanket with little chibi tigers on it, how cute.

“Enough,” Yosano smiles, shifting the bags around in her arms to pull a box from one. “Atsushi?” She calls out sweetly, crouching slightly. The boy looks over and perks up, bounding over with a smile. She holds the box out. “Theres some proper shoes in there for you, so Dazai won’t have to carry you as much.”

Atsushi takes the box with a small frown and Yosano chuckles. “I’m sure he’ll still carry you if you ask nicely, Atsushi-kun,” She teases and Atsushi flushes, grumbling and pulling the box open and attempting to pull the shoes on.

Attempting being the key word.

Dazai sighs and sinks to his knees, reaching his hands out to pull Atsushi’s foot closer. He pulls the velcro over as tightly as he needs to, and leans back. “There you go, Atsushi.” He hums, standing with a muffled groan.

He ignores the muffled laughs behind his back, picking up the bags of groceries. “Shall we get going then?” He smiles, looking over his shoulder.

Ranpo hums. “Not yet!” He grins, pulling a small bag from his coat with a flourish. “These are for you, Atsushi-kun!” He insists, pushing the bag into Atsushi’s hands.

Atsushi tilts his head and peers into the bag, peering inside and pulling to balls of flush– one green, one white.

Atsushi gasps quietly, staring with awe at the chameleon and tiger plushies Ranpo had apparently found somewhere in the shopping mall. He hugs the toys to his chest with wide eyes, whispering in awe. “For me? Really?”

Ranpo huffs and nods. “Yes! No take-backs!” Ranpo insists, stepping past them– in the general direction of the dorms. “Now let's go! The food's gonna get warm in this weather!”

Dazai huffs, adjusting his hold on the bags and resolutely ignoring the feeling in his chest at the sight of Atsushi marveling over the stuffed toys softness. “Alright, let’s go.”

They all cram into Dazai’s small dorm and unpack. 

The food gets put away first, then the clothes and toys end up all over his apartment…

Eventually, it all gets packed away.

Kunikida looks at how exhausted Atsushi is and folds, allowing Dazai the rest of the day off to clean up. “Only because Atsushi is tired! Don't get any ideas Dazai!” He scolds, but Dazai knows he would absolutely fold if Dazai claimed Atsushi was sleepy and needed a nap.

Speaking of Atsushi, the boy had scampered off pretty quickly after everyone left– to examine his new clothes, Dazai assumed. It was a lot of change in a very short amount of time, so Dazai couldn't blame the kid for being overwhelmed.

Still, he’d take the time to himself to… mentally unpack.

Atsushi didn't know what to think about all this.

Atsushi had never had this much stuff, ever. He didn't know what to do with himself.

He knew Dazai said he wasn't going back to the orphanage, but he couldn't help but wait for… something. The other shoe to drop or something.

Kids like him didnt get good things, didnt get happy endings. The headmaster had made that very clear.

It was only a matter of time before Dazai left him too, he knew that. He knew the man would get bored of him eventually and bring him back to the orphanage. 

But.

Was it so bad that he wanted to stay? That he wanted to cling onto every ounce of affection Dazai gave to him?

Maybe.

But Atsushi had always been told he was selfish.

Chapter Text

“Mr Kunikida?”

The small voice startles Dazai out of the daze he’d been in, causing him to sit up and peer over his computer. He’d been thinking about…

About..

“It’s not often you see a young father so involved with his children!” She coos calmly, like she hasn't rearranged Dazai’s world view. “You're a good role model for him, eh?” 

She stops to whisper conspiratorily to Atsushi, raising a hand to her mouth. “You be good for your dad now, alright sweetheart?”

Well, something, for sure.

Kunikida sets his pen down, turning slightly in his seat. “Yes, Atsushi?” There's an edge of confusion in his voice– Atsushi had been quiet all day, only talking to Dazai and the younger members.

Atsushi fidgets with his fingers for a moment, teeth digging into his lip. “Can.. What are you working on?” He asks hesitantly, standing on his tiptoes to peer over the desk. 

Kunikida’s face softens minutely. “I’m filling out a form for the president, detailing how much money is being spent for our jobs.” Including what they bought Atsushi, but Kunikida was smart to not mention that. “Would you like to see?”

Atsushi nods slightly and Kunikida reaches down to slowly pull Atsushi up into the chair with him. “Alright, this part here refers to–” And Dazai watches with horror as Atsushi soaks up every word Kunikida says as he explains how to fill out a balance sheet.

“Nooo…” He whines dramatically, lying flat across the desk and reaching towards Atsushi. “Kunikidaaaa-kunnn, you can't force a baby to workkkk!” He reprimands, smiling to himself as Atsushi giggles and reaches out to grasp Atsushi’s little hands.

Kunikida huffs. “Atsushi is nine years old, Dazai. He can–” Dazai cuts the blonde off, shaking his head firmly.

“Nope! Look at him, he’s so little! He's a baby!” He states firmly, gently tugging Atsushi’s hands towards him like he means to pull Atsushi across the desk. Atsushi continues to laugh slightly, shaking his head to deny Dazai’s claims.

Kunikida sighs fondly, slapping Dazai’s hands away with a small frown. “Shut up, Dazai.” His new partner sighs, picking up his pen again and scratching down more tedious numbers. “Really, I don't understand how Atsushi puts up with you–”

Kunikida is cut off, again, by Atsushi this time. By him hacking up his lungs, to be more specific.

Kunikida stills as Atsushi shakes, coughs racking his tiny body. Dazai’s up before he can blink, arms coming up to pull Atsushi to his chest. A hand comes up to stroke through Atsushi’s hair, rub circles onto his back.

Junichiro looks over from his desk, Naomi’s worried gaze peeking around his shoulder. “Is- Is Atsushi okay?” He asks quietly, eyes darting between Atsushi’s tiny form and Dazai’s face.

Dazai sighs as Atsushi’s coughs turn into wheezy breaths, hand cupping his neck. “He will be.” He states firmly. He has to be okay, Dazai promised he wouldn't hurt anymore. Did he?

“I’m going to see Yosano, don’t worry too much, okay Tanizaki-kun?” He forces a smile, cheering happily as he stalks down the corridor leading to Yosano’s office. He’s been there more often than usual this week.

Atsushi sniffles sadly and Dazai hums soothingly, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s okay, Atsushi.. Have you been feeling sick all day?” He murmurs worriedly, pushing Atsushi’s hair back to check his temperature with the back of his hand. Fuck, he’s burning up.. Does he have a fever?

Atsushi nods his head, voice hoarse as he speaks. “‘M head felt f’nny when I w’ke up, didn't wan’ to b’ther you…” Atsushi slurs, hands fisting the fabric of his jacket tightly.

Dazai resists the urge to sigh, knowing that would only upset Atsushi more. “You wouldn’t have been a bother, Atsushi,” He murmurs quietly, cupping the back of Atsushi’s head to press his face into the crook of his neck. “If you're feeling unwell, you have to tell me next time, alright?”

“Mhm…” Atsushi mumbles miserably, hiding his face further in Dazai's shoulder. Dazai sighs and bumps open Yosano’s door with a shoulder.

“Yosano,” He calls out, voice strained for a reason unknown to him. She peers around the corner and frowns at the sight of Atsushi, striding towards them with purpose.

“Oh dear..” She murmurs, leading Dazai towards one of the medical cots. “I had hoped our check up would have highlighted the signs, but..” She sighs, stepping back.

“I’ll be back in a moment, I'll need to grab some specific equipment and charts. Try to calm him down before them.” She instructs carefully, pushing Dazai to sit down with Atsushi in his lap. She looks at him for a moment before nodding and striding off.

He’s glad she’s still level headed, he can’t seem to find any words at the moment.

Atsushi whines again and Dazai shushes him as best he can, bouncing his kid carefully in his arms to distract him. “Mh, I know, I know it hurts, Atsushi..” He murmurs, pressing his lips to Atsushi’s hair.

Yosano comes back quickly, armed to the teeth with charts, a clipboard perched precariously atop a stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff– many things Dazai can’t even begin to name them, brain capacity currently taken with the child clinging to him.

Yosano sets her equipment to the side and crouches down to Atsushi’s height. “Hello again, Atsushi,” She smiles warmly, eyebrows furrowing at Atsushi’s state. “You’re in here more often than I thought you would be, huh?”

Atsushi nods slightly and Yosano hums, reaching over to grab her clipboard from its precarious perch. “I’m gonna ask you a few questions, okay? You just need to nod or shake your head for me.”

“Has your stomach or stomach area been hurting recently?” a shake of the head, no.

“Have any of your joints felt swollen, or your skin felt flaky?” No again.

“Have you noticed any hair falling out?” No.

Yosano breathes a sigh of relief. “Not Kwashiorkor then, good.” She flips the page and scans the next few questions.

“Have you felt tired, dizzy, or weak for short periods of time after movement?” Atsushi thinks for a moment before nodding slightly.

Yosano hums, looking troubled. “Have you experienced shortness of breath, or sudden chills?” Atsushi shakes his head.

Yosano smiles then. “Not anaemia either, but I'll still check your blood pressure, just to be sure.”

She stands with a hum, reaching towards the cuff. “This will allow me to check your blood pressure, it’ll slide over your arm and squeeze for a moment. It might feel uncomfortable, but it won't hurt you.” She explains carefully, sliding Atsushi’s sleeve up and settling the cuff on his upper arm.

She squeezes the bulb at the end and checks the gauge with deadly focus. She hums after a moment and releases the cuff, pulling it away and setting it to the side once more. “118 over 76… higher than average but not by much.”

She pulls the stethoscope around her neck and leans down to Atsushi’s height again. “Now, I know I checked your heartbeat before, but I'm going to check your lungs now. It's the same process, but I’ll need you to breathe in and out slowly.”

Atsushi shifts as Yosano guides him to, shifting uncomfortably at the cold metal sliding under his shirt. He takes a few deep breaths as Yosano instructs him to, shutting his eyes. Yosano pulls away and he starts to cough, turning back to cling to Dazai.

Yosano frowns but doesn't seem to be concerned. “It's likely just a cough, I'll prescribe some anti-inflammatory meds and some pain medicine, but if his condition worsens, you’ll need to come right back to me so I can prescribe antibiotics.” She pulls the stethoscope off and makes her way back to the backroom. “Thankfully, it's all medicine I have in stock…” She mutters as she disappears into the back.

Atsushi shifts in place. “Dazai-sann…” He mumbles, looking up with misty eyes. “‘M throat h’rts…”

Dazai sighs and gently presses Atsushi’s head back down. “I know, Atsushi, Yosano-sensei is getting you something that will help with that cough, okay?”

Atsushi whines sadly and hides his face in Dazai’s coat. Again.

He huffs in amusement, eyes falling shut. Atsushi was so quick to seek him out for comfort, like a small animal curling behind something taller, stronger. Like a kitten, curling up against its mother.

“Is my jacket that comfortable?” He asks after a moment, looking down at the mop of white hair against his chest. Atsushi wiggles in place, indecisive, before he shakes his head. “No?” Dazai asked mildly, feigning shock with a scandalised gasp. “Whatever could you mean, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi mumbles something quietly, muffled by the tan fabric. He ducks his head to listen closer. Atsushi flushes and repeats, slower this time, “...Dazai-san is safe.” He whispers, pushing his face back into the worn material.

Dazai stares downwards for a moment before he forced a strained hum in lieu of a response. “How sweet.” He muttered mildly, eyes locked on the door Yosano had exited through.

As if summoned by his stare, she stepped through the doorway holding a white paper bag. She walked close enough to toss the bag into his lap with a hum before stepping back and crossing her arms. “I’ve written out the instructions for all those pills– when to take them, how long between doses, that sort of thing.”

She levels him with a dark glare, mindful of the child attached to his side. “That medicine is for Atsushi, he needs to take all of it or he could get seriously sick– pneumonia is a deadly enough disease in healthy children.”

She glares for a moment longer before softening, pushing her hair away from her face. “Just– Atsushi needs you right now, you can’t joke around about–”

“I won’t,” Dazai cuts in, arms tightening around Atsushi’s frail frame. “I’ll make sure he gets better, I–” He takes a breath, picking up the paper bag. “I won’t let him hurt.” He finishes lamely, voice losing strength.

He stands slowly, careful not to jostle Atsushi too much as he makes his way to the door. “Thank you for your time, Yosano-sensei, I’ll be taking the day off it seems,” He says sternly, the paper crinkling quietly in his grasp as he tugs the door open.

“...For what it's worth, Dazai-san,” She speaks up, facing away from the door still. He pauses his departure, looking over his shoulder at her. “I think you're doing a good job. You're good for him.”

Dazai hums low in his chest as the door swings shut behind him. He glances down at the boy held securely in his arms, tightening his hold slightly. Oh, please. Him? Doing a good job? Yosano-sensei must be misguided. Besides, if anything..

Atsushi is the one who’s good.

Atsushi felt floaty, as they walked back to the dorms. Or rather, as Dazai carried him back to the dorms.

That had happened a lot– Dazai carrying him. It was nice, Atsushi thought, to be held like this. Like he was something fragile. He can't remember ever being carried in the orphanage– or any of the other kids, for that matter.

Unless they were sick. But Dazai had carried him before he was sick. And Dazai hadn't seen to mind as Aysushi sputtered and coughed on the walk back, only muttering soothing words and running his knuckles up and down his back softly.

The caretakers at the orphanage always got angry when the kids coughed or sneezed near them, even if they covered their noses and mouths.

…Atsushi felt like the caretakers would get mad no matter what happened with the other kids. Or maybe that's just his view of things.

The headmaster always said he was too stupid to know what was good for him. For the people around him. If he knew what was good, he used to say, he'd have died during the winter and stopped making them waste resources on him.

But Dazai-san never said that. Never said anything close to that! Atsushi doesn't know if he’s just trying to be nice, Atsushi doesn't deserve nice– or if he just hadn't noticed how bad and wrong and bad Atsushi really was. But Dazai-san was really smart, he should have known by now. He was just being polite.

“...Atsushi, are you still awake?” oh! There was Dazai-san’s comforting voice, rumbling right next to his ear. He shifted in place, pressing further towards the noise with a contented sigh.

Dazai laughed, and Atsushi felt it more than heard it. He liked Dazai’s laugh, it was warm and bright and playful and good.

“Alright, alright, but you need to have some medicine, okay?” The voice murmured again, slender fingers coming up to card through his hair. The fingers scratch at his skull and he sighs again, melting against the warmth.

“And a light meal.” The voice decides, shifting Atsushi aside to fiddle with something unseen. Something clicks and Atsushi is being moved again. The hands holding him try to pull him away and he clings tighter, whining quietly.

He’ll be good, he’ll be quiet. Don’t leave him alone again, please.

Someone sighs and the hands shift him around again, one arm cradling his back as the warmth moves about. Atsushi settles into the warmth again.

He hears water running and the quiet ticking of switches being turned and the heavy pots being set down on the stove.

He hears the water boiling and things being poured into the water and then he smells soup cooking and vegetables being fried and.

And Atsushi is so warm.

The warmth doesn't leave or put him aside for a single moment, even if it would be easier, right up until the end. After the food has been plated he’s shifted around for a moment until he’s set down on the couch.

He can’t even begin to feel cold as the warmth plops down right beside him, pulling him right up against that warmth. That warmth.. That was speaking to him.

“–suhi, but you need to eat a little, alright?” Atsushi forces his eyes open, blurry vision focusing on a spoon being held in front of his mouth. The warmth coos encouragingly as he opens his mouth, gratefully gulping down the offered food.

“Slowly, slowly.. There we go, good job, Atsushi!” The voice cheers, pulling the spoon back and dunking it into the soup again. “Just a little more, okay?”

The process repeats on like that– the warmth offering food and celebrating when he eats. Eventually, he turns his head away from the offered spoon, nestling into the warmth again, pleasantly full and warm and safe.

“Hmm? Are you full, Atsushi?” The voice chuckles, setting the spoon down with a clink! and then there's a hand running through his hair again. “You still need to take that medicine, y’know?”

The warmth chuckles as Atsushi whines. He can't remember ever being given medicine before but the other kids at the orphanage all said it wasn't a pleasant experience.

“I know, Atsushi,” The voice murmurs, the dorm being filled with the quiet sound of paper crinkling. Atsushi strains his ears to hear what’s happening, but the voice speaks up again. “But you need to get better, and the only way that can happen is if you take the medicine.”

“It’s just two pills, you just need to drink them down.” The voice hums, pressing a glass into his hands carefully. He pouts but complies, allowing the warmth to push the pills into his mouth and press the glass to his lips.

He doesn't like the taste, face scrunching up in response, but the warmth scoops him up again, pressing him in close, so ‘the ends justified the means’. That’s what the headmaster used to say when he was in the cage.

“There we go, now you can go to sleep, okay Atsushi?” The voice speaks, but Atsushi is already gone.

Atsushi settles against him like a comfortable weight. The sight of the sleeping boy is enough for him to want to wrap Atsushi up in all the blankets he can find in his dorm, but.

But, Atsushi is still wearing what Dazai would consider “outside clothes,” so that would need to change. Now, he could wake Atsushi, hand him some pyjamas and be done with it. 

But Atsushi was sleeping.

Now, Dazai is not unused to changing his co-workers' clothes. In both his lines of work, it wasn’t uncommon for injuries to render someone unable to properly undress– or exhaustion causing someone to pass out before they could reach home.

And, it wasn't unusual for children’s parents to assist them when getting changed.

Not that he was Atsushi’s parent, of course, but he was technically his legal guardian. Illegal guardian?

He keeps Atsushi in his arms as he searches for loose fitting pyjamas. It would certainly be easier if he set Atsushi down, but having Atsushi fall asleep on him was similar to having a cat fall asleep on him.

He makes quick work of Atsushi’s outside clothes and pulls the pyjamas on just as quickly. He even finds a pair of fluffy socks in one of the bags Yosano had left!

His Child now sufficiently dressed for sleep, he moves over to the futon and carefully toes his shoes off before spreading out across the sheets, Atsushi’s little form nestled against his side and over his chest.

He was right, he thinks dazedly as he pulls the comforter up over Atsushi’s shoulder. This is like a cat falling asleep on him. A small, warm form settled against him like a tiny heater, lulling him to relaxation.

With Atsushi asleep, Dazai is free to doze off until his next dose of medicine.

So that's what he does.

Dazai awakes to the sound of coughing and retching.

Sitting up so suddenly black spots cloud his vision, he can barely make out Atsushi’s little form twisting and caught in the blankets as he scrambles for the bathroom.

Stumbling to his feet, he untangles Atsushi from the blankets and carries him into the small bathroom, setting him up by the toilet.

He shushes Atsushi as he whines and cries, rubbing a hand up and down his back in slow circles. “Oh, my poor boy,” He soothes, tucking the boy against his side as much as possible as he retches into the toilet bowl. “It’s alright, I'm here, I'll keep you safe, remember?”

Atsushi only manages to cough up bile and acid before he’s slumping over into Dazai, eyes half lidded and cheeks tears stained. He whines quietly as Dazai shifts him around to wipe away the tears and residual throw up with some toilet paper.

“There, there, Atsushi,” He murmurs lowly, lifting Atsushi into his arms with a quiet groan. “I think it’s been long enough to give you more medicine anyway.”

Atsushi, obviously, doesn't respond, eyes fluttering shut as he winds down from the stress. Dazai finds the medicine he left discarded on the counter– thank god none of it needed to be refrigerated– so it's easy to shake some pain medicine from the bottle.

Atsushi is a child so he can only take one capsule every four to six hours, and, according to the clock on the oven, it's been close to seven hours since his last dose. He’ll need to take the anti-inflammatory meds again soon.

He should ask Yosano to find some nausea medicine too, if Atsushi continues to throw up.

“Here, Atsushi,” He sighs, holding the pill up to Atsushi’s mouth as he moves towards the half empty cup of water from earlier. “You remember last time? Swallow this down with a sip of water.” He instructs carefully, holding the cup up to his mouth next.

Atsushi swallows the pill with no complaint this time, settling down against him again like dead weight.

Dazai…

Dazai takes a moment to examine the situation.

All of that, his actions from the past thirty minutes, had been near instinct. He hadn't second guessed himself or hesitated, even when Atsushi was throwing up into his toilet. Speaking of…

He’d have to deal with that. Later, probably. 

If it had been any other kid, he wouldn't have stepped in like that. He would have called someone, anyone else to deal with it. Wouldn't have carried the kid around or soothed them as they cried, but–

But.

This wasn’t just any child. This was Atsushi.

But why did Atsushi make him act so out of character? What about Atsushi’s current state of de-aging make his long dead instincts screech incoherently whenever Atsushi so much as frowned?

And, perhaps more importantly…

What would happen once Atsushi turned back?