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Redhowl should have awoken curled up between Goldenclaw and Brightjay. She should have been met with the scent of the brush they'd taken shelter beneath the afternoon prior. She should have gotten normal sleep and woken up again to get the group moving in the much cooler night air.
Instead, she woke up alone, in a vast field, under the watchful glow of Silverpelt. Distantly, she could smell Brightjay and a number of both unfamiliar and vaguely familiar cat scents, but all she could make out was the shape of a single cat, tail held high and pelt dusted with starlight. As they made their way towards her, she could make out familiar swirled markings beneath the glow. Realization dawned on her as she processed who exactly had come to meet her.
Redhowl eyed the spirit of her grandmother, Lillydance, fighting back the urge to crumple and bury her muzzle in her fur. StarClan had, thus far, proven unhelpful at best in her efforts to perform as a Warrior and she doubted they would have anything favorable to say to her, now that she had abandoned the Clans.
"I've waited for so long to see you again, little one," Lillydance purred, warmth in her eyes, "I always knew that you'd be ready for this, one day."
"Ready for… what, exactly?" Redhowl said in response, trying not to seem too outwardly suspicious of Lillydance's arrival, "I'm not- I didn't die , did I?"
"Oh, my dearest, no. You'll be fine when you wake, if not a little tired. It's a big night tonight, and I'm thrilled to be a part of it for you."
"Wait, what's going to happen? Why am I here?"
"You'll see, love. Now, come with me."
As she followed Lillydance through the swaying grasses, Redhowl felt horror bubbling in her chest. Assembled were a great many StarClan warriors, faded to various degrees, forming a half-circle around eight assembled cats. Lillydance ushered her before them, taking her place as the ninth and beaming at her.
Frozen in place, she watched the first cat step forward. A ginger molly she recognized from Darksun's tunnel camp, with elegant legs and starlight caught in her whiskers.
"We never were properly introduced. My name is Starlingcall; I was the cat who helped you break free from Blazefall's trap before her patrol found you." The pause in her words implied all that Redhowl needed to know about what had happened to Starlingcall next. "It was worth it, to throw anything back in Darksun's face that I could. I doubt I would have lasted much longer either way."
Redhowl tried to drag words out to apologize, but her voice caught in her throat as Starlingcall stepped in even closer.
"With this life, I give you defiance. Use it well to protect your clan, even when others are determined to tear you down." She pressed her muzzle to Redhowl's forehead, sending a flash of pain and fury surging through her. Redhowl braced herself with claws sunk into the soft ground, even as Starlingcall stepped back into line so the next spirit could take her place.
A young tom padded up to her next, old enough to be a Warrior, but with the lingering ganglyness of youth still clung to him. He was much more immediately recognizable to her, sandy coat and green eyes practically glowing against the twilight of StarClan's hunting grounds. His open posture did little to reassure Redhowl of his intentions, which he seemed to catch onto as he started to speak.
"Thought you wouldn't see me again?" He meowed cheerfully.
"Otterpaw, I-" she managed to croak out, unsure how to finish the sentence even if her voice would let her.
"It's Otterpath now, actually! Honeymask and Hollowsun said that I'd earned it; I was so happy, even if I couldn't tell them. Can you tell them for me, when you see them next? I know they've done bad things, but I miss them and they deserve to know I'm okay."
Redhowl had only a moment to nod in understanding before Otterpath bounced forward, considerably less dignified in his movements than Starlingcall had been.
"With this life, I give you understanding. May it serve you well as you and yours encounter new faces in need of help along your journey. Even in the face of great tragedy."
The flash of emotion that shot through Redhowl as his muzzle met her forehead was bolstering this time, strengthening her resolve as she stood, ready to meet the next cat in the procession.
A shorter, stouter molly padded forwards this time, dried bits of herbs sprinkled in her ashen coat alongside the glimmering spots of starlight.
"My name is Smokewhirl. I was one of Darksun's medics in their central camp. We never met, but you managed to save the lives of a lot of twolegplace cats when you interrupted their plans. My kin included. So, with this life I give you judgement. Use it to know when bridges are better left burned, even at the cost of your own life."
Redhowl felt claws pinning her down by the neck, panic rising in her chest as the brief illusion washed over her. Once the pain and terror faded, she felt her heart stop for a moment as a little grey and white kitten bounded up to her. She was the spitting image of Tumblekit, and the familiarity in her gaze told her that this was Shimmerkit, one of Brightjay's lost kittens.
"Hi Redhowl! Please tell momma we're okay, and that all of the big cats are watching out for us?" A pause while Shimmerkit fished for her lines, and then, "Okay, um, with this life I give you passion! Use it to find joy in the boring bits of leading your Clan, even when things are real bad."
Redhowl leaned down so that the tiny kitten could properly give her a life. The heart-racing energy that surged through her felt like being a brand new apprentice all over again, and she readied herself for whatever the next cat in line would give her.
The next cat was barely a cat at all, a faded ghost so distant that Redhowl could only make out their blindingly blue eyes with any certainty. They slunk forward as if in shame, not quite meeting her gaze.
"My name was Bluebriar," they said with a voice like the wind whistling through a hollow in the trees, "I was a clanmate, before your time, but my name has not been spoken in seasons. With good cause; had I been more careful, perhaps the Clans would not be in such peril today. I give you a life for mentoring. Use it well, and may you never repeat my mistakes."
The sensation of betrayal, horror, and grief that ripped through Redhowl's body almost knocked her off of her paws. Somewhere behind her closed eyes, she could see Darksun's cold amber gaze, peering down as if they stood above her. The vision faded as quickly as the others had, however, and by the time her eyes were opened, Bluebriar had all but vanished, leaving a second tiny, grey and white kitten in their place.
This was clearly Brightjay's third kit, Sleekkit, who- much more calmly than their littermate- approached Redhowl.
"Hi Redhowl! I'm really glad I got to see you again, you're still the coolest Warrior ever!" they said brightly, soundly breaking Redhowl's heart in half, "I get to give you a life for love! Lead with all the love in your heart, and know your clanmates love you with all of their hearts, too."
Redhowl would have let out a wail if her voice hadn't been so stuck down in her chest. She let herself buckle to the ground to let another tiny, tiny cat give her a life; Sleekkit and Shimmerkit should be curled up between Brightjay, Goldenclaw, and herself, poking Tumblekit in his sleep. Not wandering so far from the rest of StarClan, short lives marked by so much betrayal. But the life that rushed through her was of being pushed close to her clanmates, of caring for them and being cared for in turn. For a moment, nothing crossed her mind but her little group of cats. Goldenclaw, Foxface, Tumblekit, Brightjay , they all meant the world to her. And for that brief, blinding moment, she knew that she meant the world to them, too.
When she opened her eyes again, body shaking, Sleekkit was looking at her with big, kitten-blue eyes. They bumped their forehead against hers, purring gently, before a cough from one of the assembled cats drew them back to their place in line. Redhowl staggered back onto her feet, the heartbreak washing back over her now accompanied by a bubbling anger. Anger she choked back as the seventh cat padded up to her.
His night-black coat lacked the starry dappling that the others wore; only isolated patches of light glittered around his muzzle and shoulders, and he quite visibly wore the wound that had ended his life on his throat. Something was off about this tom, something familiar that threatened to set Redhowl's fur on end.
"You could not have known me," he rasped, orange eyes locked piercingly on their own, "I was exiled from your clan long before you were born. But you know of what I did to deserve it. And you can see what became of me for my decisions. I was called Frondsnap, and I was among the cats who chose to support Darksun when they betrayed SequoiaClan."
Redhowl did bristle at that, eyes darting around the gathered cats, who remained unflinching as Frondsnap continued.
"With this life, I give you loyalty. Do what you must for your Clan, never at the cost of your clan."
The burning that shot through Redhowl as he touched his muzzle to hers was surprisingly muted, and no vision overtook her. Instead, when he broke contact, Frondsnap leaned forward to whisper into her ear, voice almost a snarl, "And I give you hospitality . A seat around your fresh-kill pile that can be revoked without cause is invitation to treachery."
As he backed into his place, Redhowl struggled to convince her fur to lie flat. What was even at play here? A line of turncoats and murder victims, to crown her leader of the lost? She remained tense as she recognized the distinctive silver coat of Mintpaw, a cat who had been a part of the same group of apprentices as she had been. Mintpaw had been killed in an accident along the Thunderpath, an event that had sent Goldenclaw into a worried frenzy at the time.
They padded forwards, eyes level with her own, and she realized distantly how close Mintpaw had been to becoming a warrior when they'd died.
"It's been a long time, hasn't it? I never thought one of us would live long enough to make it here," they purred, "Kestrelstar certainly pushed us too far. Which is why I give you a life for bravery. It's scary, not knowing what comes after. But your clanmates need you to face it with them."
The eighth life twisted something in her chest, allowing her to straighten her legs as she faced Lillydance head-on. Her grandmother still beamed at her, but the pride in her gaze left a bitter taste in Redhowl's mouth now. She didn't want this. Her friends didn't want this. They were meant to be escaping from the restrictive ways of Clan life, not replicating them. But whatever force kept her silent still gripped her, and Redhowl could only glare at Lillydance as she padded forwards.
"And with this final life, I give you duty. Your duty is to your Clan, and to the world around you. Do it well, with honor and justice, to serve your children, your children's children, and their children in their turn."
The feeling that shot through Redhowl was powerful and all-consuming for a heartbeat; righteous anger like she'd never felt before in her life. But as the initial sensation died down, tendrils remained wrapped around her heart and her lungs as Lillydance began to speak again.
"Redhowl, StarClan has granted you these nine lives and a new name. Your old life is no more. Rise now, as-"
" No ." She cut Lillydance off, to a chorus of soft gasps from the onlookers. "I do not accept the title of Leader. My name is Redhowl, and my life is my own. You cannot tell me to defend my family, your family, and then ask me to sacrifice the safety of those closest to me. I refuse your name."
Lillydance stood, silent and frozen in place for a split second, before collecting herself.
"Very well," she meowed, "Then rise, Redhowl, as leader of your clan. You may reject your name, but you cannot reject your destiny." Her voice changed, strange now to Redhowl's ears, "Three false stars burn the sky. Their light will scorch the earth beneath your paws if strong walls are not woven to shield you. Go, and be ready; a long night approaches."
She felt the ground drop out from under her paws as she plummeted back into her waking body, Brightjay scrambling awake beside her. The look on the medicine cat's face told her that she'd seen it all, too, and the pair pressed their foreheads against each other's, eyes closed and breathing ragged, in the newly falling dusk.