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Simon couldn't tell what was real and what came from his fevered imagination. Some things were so bad, he could almost believe they were actually nightmares. Others were so amazing, he was certain they were only dreams. And still others just seemed unreal. It was like his mind was rejecting it; nothing like that could possibly have happened to him.
Examples? Group #1: watching a man who had tried to shoot him explode. Group #2: kissing Izzy. Those memories were clearer than the rest. Group #3: being captured by a 14 year old vampire and being forced to play dress up. Ugh.
It was like watching a movie he had seen before, but couldn't even remember the plot.
Isabelle watched her favorite amnesiac from the shadows of the doorway. Simon was in the library of the Institute. He came here a lot. Maybe it was the old book smell. Hodge used to say it stimulated brain activity. She glanced around the room she had never been fond of. She liked it even less now. Every time she walked in, she saw Max sprawled on the sofa, asleep with a comic on his lap.
She looked back at Simon only to see him staring right back at her. She gasped slightly and swallowed. She felt unnaturally shy around this New Simon. It was torture; being near someone so familiar and so unearthly alien at the same time. Her Old Simon would've blushed when he was human. Vampire Simon would've smiled when he saw her. This New Simon just starred, his eyes widened slightly in surprise.
Then she realized something. The look in his eyes right then was the same look in his eyes as he almost told her he loved her in the demon realm. Had he really changed at all?
Simon watched as Isabelle walked slowly from the shadows to him. His heart stuttered as he watched her. He always felt odd around her. He felt as if he should be shy, but that he was past that now, that day at the school was only 3 weeks ago.
He broke away from his thoughts when Izzy sat down next to him.
"Hey. What are doing in here?" Isabelle asked.
"Thinking. Remembering." He paused as he saw the light and pain in Izzy's eyes. Quickly, not wanting to give her false hope, he added, "Just flashes. I'm not even sure they're real."
She tried to hide the disappointment that flashed across her beautiful features, but Simon saw it anyway. She smiled, though and his heart melted a little more.
"Well, what were you remembering just now?" she asked.
He grinned suddenly, he teeth a flash of white in the dimly lit room. "Lord Montgomery."
Isabelle threw her head back and laughed, confirming his suspicion that that had really happened.
They talked for hours. Simon told Isabelle what he had seen in his head and she confirmed that each and every one was true. Sometimes they laughed, sometimes she cried.
Somehow, by the time it was dark, the conversation had moved from flashbacks, to Starwars, to Simon's cat, to Simon's life before the Shadow World (what he could remember), to Izzy's life before meeting Simon and Clary. The two sat in library and started to relearn each other.