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Chi Cheng had been expecting Gangzi to be waiting for him as he left the prison with nothing but the clothes on his back. He had not expected to see Wu Suowei leaning against the passenger side of a beaten-up old car. They had been broken up for several months and aside from a harsh conversation while he was incarcerated the two had not spoken.
He thought he would never see Wu Suowei again after everything he had said and done.
Instead, there he was stood by the car door no smile and no greeting as he opened the door and gestured for Chi to get in. He hesitated for a moment but climbed into the seat without a word, watching through the window as Wu smiled briefly before climbing into the driver’s side.
The journey home after Chi’s release from prison was silent, thick with tension and a silence that Chi wasn’t sure he was allowed to break. Instead he just sat there, eyes forward.
The apartment he had owned previously had been sold off and his father had all but cut ties with him, made it clear that he was not to contact them. Chi wasn’t sure where he was supposed to go, figured he would have to stay with Gangzi for a time until he could figure something out.
Instead Wu pullls up outside of his mother’s house.
They sit in the car for a few minutes before the sound of Wu’s seatbelt clipping out of place makes him look at him. Wu climbed out of the car and made his way into the house—the door left open. Chi followed after him standing for a second in the doorway his chest heavy. This would be the first time he had been here and Wu’s mum hadn’t rushed to greet him.
“Make yourself comfortable, I have some of your old clothes in my room if you wanted to change.” Wu said, slipping off his shoes and sliding into those annoyingly loud flip flops that use to echo through their home.
Chi only nodded before making his way down the hall to where Wu’s room was situated. The door at the bottom of the hall was closed and Chi knew that it was Wu’s mother’s room. Probably still untouched – too soon for Wu to step inside and clear out. Chi could understand that. He knew Wu was soft, emotional, he probably couldn’t deal with it on his own. He felt it too, he had lost her too not as strong, but his heart ached to know that his stubbornness and anger towards Wu at the time had kept him away.
As he made his way down the hall he stopped to look at the pictures adorning the wall; he had seen them once or twice before when he visited. Some where missing, probably given to Wu’s siblings. His mother was in the centre now, stood next to someone Chi assumed was Wu’s father, young and warm with happiness. There were new additions too, like the rest of the house Wu had put a little of himself on display.
Chi took his time to look through them, fixed to the wall there was a picture of Wu and Shuai, Wu’s arm around his shoulder and sugar figures in their hands. Both smiling big and wide; probably captured after a laugh. There were a few more with Shuai and on the small table underneath in a brown frame was a picture of Jiang Xiaoshuai and Guo—Guo’s arms around Shuai’s chest and his head on the doctor’s shoulder smiling. They looked happy.
In the past Chi would have burned with rage to see Guo Chengyu so happy, to know that he was settled and committed. Instead, Chi smiled faintly; they were still not as close, but Guo had been to see him several times in prison and he’d kept his word and made sure Wu was okay.
Next to that there was a picture of Wu stood with little Jealousy wrapped around his wrist, Chi recognised that one. He had taken it himself, in the background he could see the terrarium Wu had built in the home they had shared. That one hurt a little.
He almost turned away before he caught sight of a large frame at the back, a picture of himself and Wu inside. His breath caught and he lifted it up from the table to get a better look. They were stood on the balcony of the clinic, Wu’s eyes closed, and his mouth open mid laugh as Chi smiled at him—arms around his waist and his own smile genuine and warm. It made his chest feel lighter.
There were a few more like that, a couple of them together in smaller frames but all tucked behind pictures of his friends and family, too painful to look at all the time. When Chi looked up there was a picture of himself hung on the wall, like Wu he had little Jealousy wrapped around him, Chi looked relaxed and soft, he didn’t recognise the picture and from the angle it was clear that Wu had snapped it without Chi noticing.
He smiled as he put the frame back down on the table where he had found it and started making his way down to Wu’s room again. As he entered the room, he noticed the stack of boxes pushed up against the wall; Chi’s name on a few of them while the others had the trademark of their company on the front. He figured those where the clothes Wu had mentioned but as he moved inside to open the box he saw that Wu had laid out some clothes on the bed for him.
He had planned this.
Chi smiled, lifting them from the bed and changing. They were looser than he remembered but that was okay.
As he turned, he looked around the room, stood in the corner on a cabinet Chi saw little Jealousy. The snake was looking at him from behind the glass; tongue flickering as if in recognition—the terrarium wasn’t the same, not as large but big enough for the snake inside. Wu had obviously been taking good care of him in his absence Little Jealousy looked healthy surrounded by natural leaves a logs.
He didn’t reach in and touch the snake, even though he wanted to. This was probably the last of his snakes, the only one is father hadn’t sold or disposed of and even then, Chi had thought he would never see his most precious snake again. The last time he had seen little Jealousy he had left him in the hands of Wang Shou and yet here he was in the bedroom of Wu Suowei. Comfortable and happy, like he belonged.
Instead he turned out of the room and made his way back down the hall to where he could hear Wu pottering around in the kitchen. He looked at him, really looked at him this time. He was stiff, moving carefully and trying to keep himself busy. His focus on preparing dinner and not on the fact that Chi Cheng was stood in his living room looking smaller than he used to.
They sat in silence for the rest of the evening, Wu made dinner steamed dumplings using the recipe his mother had passed down and Chi ate it silently; surprised that it almost tasted as good as when Mrs Wu had made them at new years. They didn’t speak but every now and again Chi would look at Wu. Wanting to ask why.
Why had he come to pick him up? Why had he brought him here to his home? Why were there pictures of them and why hadn’t Wu shouted at him for being such a fool?
Most of all he wanted to know why Wu had paid for his release.
But he didn’t. Instead he and Wu sat together on the sofa staring at the TV without really watching it. Close enough that they could feel each other’s warmth but far enough away that they didn’t touch.
When the night rolled around Wu gave him a new toothbrush and pressed a warm set of pyjamas into his hands. Chi was ready to sleep on the sofa but Wu swallowed and took his wrist— guiding him to his room and set him on the bed, Wu’s big eyes soft and his mouth curled into a reassuring smile as if he was scared that Chi would bolt at any moment.
They just lay there, looking at each other for what felt like hours.
“That money,” Wu says his eyes fixed on Chi as they lay beside each other for the first time in months. Fully clothed and both raw with emotion, the tension had faded slightly and Chi felt himself relax for the first time since they had parted ways. “That was money I was saving for my wedding.”
Chi doesn’t look away from him even though he feels like he should. That this could lead to disaster, to further heartbreak. That this was Wu telling him he had moved on. A soft goodbye to their broken relationship, a missed opportunity.
“I’ll pay it all back.” Chi says, voice thick. “You didn’t have to—" he starts but Suowei cuts him off.
“As far as I’m concerned, in my eyes. That now makes you my husband.” Wu says his tone calm but it shakes a little at the word. His eyes are wet and his smile soft and Chi feel like a weight has been lifted and he can breathe properly for the first time in months.
He can’t take his eyes off Wu, so much emotion and need in those big eyes that he had fallen in love with that night at the theatre. His hand moved on the blanket between them wanting to reach out but too scared that it would break the illusion and he would find himself back in his cell or on the sofa. Wu missing.
“From now on, you and me. We trust each other, fully.” Wu continues, “no more lies, no more hiding how we feel. We talk when we have a problem and we share everything. This is our chance to start again. If you want to?”
“Yes.” Chi says quickly, too quick, barely a beat between them before he said it. “I’m sorry. For everything.”
“Im sorry too, we are both to blame. We both hurt each other but from now on we do this right. Together.”
They lay there for a minute, not speaking just looking at each other. Both of them covered in emotions that they probably wouldn’t say out loud. Even after all this time they could see each other so clearly. Every emotion laid out for the other to take, no force. As Wu had said, no more hiding from each other.
“I want to set the record straight,” Wu whispers and Chi doesn’t try and stop him. “I loved you everyday and through every moment we were together, I lied that night because I was scared. I wanted to give you and Wang Shuo a chance. I thought that was what you wanted.” He admits. Chi only shook his head. “I know better now, I know what you did for my mum. I can never repay you for that. But you should have told me, we could have avoided all this if you had just told me the truth.”
“I know.”
“And I know I’m not blameless either. I should have told you how I felt. I should have told you about Yue Yue and that ridiculous plan.” Wu laughs half-heartedly, tears rolling down his cheeks. “We both messed up, we are both responsible for what happened.”
Chi nodded.
“Do you still love me? After everything I put you through.” Chi asks, his voice timid as if scared that Wu will say no.
“Yes. Why else would I waste all that money to get you out?” Wu laughs, his whole face breaking into a smile that makes Chi’s chest hurt. “You belong to me Chi Cheng and I belong to you.”
Something breaks in that moment and Chi reaches across the bed to pull Suowei against him, his hand in Wu’s hair and their lips pressed. It’s not hurried or charged but soft and thankful, it’s filled with love and longing and everything they have both been missing since they had broken up. Wu smiles into the kiss, his hand curling in Chi’s pyjama top as he kisses back cheeks wet and his eyes closed.
“I will always belong to you Wei Wei.” Chi breathes into Wu’s mouth when they part. His nose rubbing against Wu’s and tears rolling across his own cheeks. “Always yours.”
Wu nods his eyes still closed to keep himself in the moment, his grip on Chi’s pyjamas tight so he doesn’t pull away or disappear. “Everything that happened before is forgotten,” Wu smiles his lips brushing Chi’s cheek with every word. “This is us now.”
Chi doesn’t have to say anything, they both understand what Wu is saying, instead he closes his eyes presses a soft kiss to Wu’s mouth short and tender before resting his head against Wu.
Finally feeling like he was home.
-----
A couple of months later Chi Cheng returned from work, swapping his leather shoes for a pair of warm slippers at the door. He can hear Wu in the kitchen and can smell the unmistakable scent of dinner on the stove. The hallway looks different now, there are several sets of shoes by the door mostly Chi’s and there are more pictures of them together on the wall, some old and some new.
There’s even one of him and Chengyu hung up smiling at each other.
Most of Chi’s stuff had been sold off but there were a few things that Wu had saved for him, mainly clothes and the odd knick-knack. The wooden box with all of Wu’s sugar figures inside and trinkets that Chi didn’t realise he was attached to.
With Chi’s help Wu had finally opened the door to his mother’s bedroom and he had helped him clear out some of the stuff. Wu’s siblings coming down to take what they wanted and to comfort him. Chi felt welcome to their family and Wu was honest about their relationship. He told them proudly that Chi was his ‘Husband’ a playful term they had adopted for each other.
It became a spare room, a room that Guo Chengyu and Shuai often stayed in when they hosted dinners and movie nights. They had settled into domestic bliss over the last few weeks, like nothing had happened before and Chi wasn’t sure what he did to deserve a clean start with Wu Suowei but he wasn’t going to start questioning it now.
He finds Wu in the kitchen, stirring a large pot over the stove and smiling. He looks warm and comfortable and Chi is still having a hard time believing that he’s here. That they are both here together but he’s grateful for every minute of it.
Chi knows Wu’s mum would have been happy.
“You’re home.” Wu says, smiling as he briefly looks up at Chi and then back down at the pot. He always smiles when Chi comes home even if he’s just popped out for groceries or to see friends and Chi never mocks him because he knows that he does the same. Knows that he smiles when Wu walks through the door to their home.
Chi smiles back at him before stepping up to the stove and pulling Wu’s hand away. The spoon falls to the counter leaving a puddle of water under it. He looks ready to protest but stops when he feels Chi slide something along his finger, his eyes not leaving Wu’s as he lets his hand go and raises his own.
Wu’s eyes go wet as he looks at the simple gold band around Chi’s finger. His mouth curling into a bright smile as he looks down at his own hand, the same ring, the same finger as Chi’s. It’s not flashy but it doesn’t need to be, it’s just for them.
Something to remind them that they belong with each other.
“In my eyes, you too are my husband.” Chi Cheng says, smiling when Wu pulls him in for a kiss.