Work Text:
Player: Where the hell is this turkey bro, all to do that guy's quest down in some stank ass basement down in Telamon's Maner.
Turkey: GOBBLE GOBBLE!
Player: Oh, well there it is. Aight chicken square up.
Player used Launcher!
Turkey: Oh? Aight bet.
Turkey had enough of this...
Player: WAIT WTF IS THAT A MACHINE G-
The sheer strength of the bullets caused the player to die! Player got eviscerated and reduced to atoms...
Turkey: Gobble Gobble get rekt.
Player: Oh, guess I'm a ghost now.
Kitchen Wizard: Look how the tables turn now that you are one of us.
Player: What are you crapping on me for? You told me to get the Spider Cider and I did. You told me to get some Steamed dust, and you wanted me to get a turkey right?
Kitchen Wizard: Yeah, wait...oh right I should specified it was alive. Sorry about-
Player: I know it was alive, but how tf does it have a machine gun?
Kitchen Wizard: It had a what now? I thought it had a blunderbuss? What did you do to make it that mad?
Player: All I did was tell it square up and took out my rocket launcher. I only fired once! I didn't expect it to turn me into red paste all over the floor!
Kitchen Wizard: To be fair, you did tell it to square up. What did you think was going to happen?
Player: Oh I don't know? Maybe NOT pulling out a massive machine gun from out of nowhere.
Kitchen Wizard: Fair enough. Next time, don't talk crap you can't back up.