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Sasha was her best friend and it was supposed to stay that way… That was the promise, yet now in her shared room with her former best friend and lover she is starting to regret ever thinking they could stay friends forever. Let alone become more…
She had known her since she was 11 years old. That was a long time to know someone, right? 6 years; full of happy and moments filled with laughter and of course some sad ones too. And Anna was certain she hadn't known anyone for such a long time… Unless her family that is… Only Sasha; her once family… Her forever best friend….
Forever best friend… Anna recalled, such a stupid thing to assume… But, well… They were just kids after all…
"You are like the most awesome person I know." Young Alexandra exclaimed while spread down on a bench in Sambo 70 after a long day of practice.
" You are the most awesome person I know." Anna replied with no hesitation and only determination written in her eyes, which made Alexandra giggle before they feel into silence. Not an awkward one but a comfortable one and the only sounds that could be heard were coming from the water bottle Anna was currently drinking from, from the blades in the ice rink just a few meters away and from the gym. It was familiar, reassuring, it felt like home… And maybe just maybe it was why Anna without thinking uttered. "I don't think I ever had a best friend." She admitted before taking a pause to take a proper look at Sasha, who slightly turned her head to look more properly at Anna in the other bench. "That's what we are, right? Best friends?" She questioned and all Sasha could do was to nod with a bright smile on her face.
"Of course." Sasha said immediately as if it was the only answer she could give and maybe at the time it was.
It was the first time she considered Sasha her best friend and knew she saw her the same way. It was nice knowing that from all other people in the world, Anna was the most special to her. Over Zhenya, Alina and Aliona. That she was Sasha's favourite, and Sasha was hers.
However, she dreaded the day that would change and had to confirm with Sasha that whatever happened they would still be friends!
How ironic…
"So, we are best friends?" Anna started, packing her skating bag while waiting with Sasha for their parents to pick them up from Sambo 70 after another exhausting day at practice.
"Of course." Sasha replied, the same reply she gave her the first time she asked and it brought a smile to Anna's face.
"And we will be best friends forever, right?"
"Of course."
"You promise?"
"I promise." And Sasha extended her pinky finger for Anna to interlocking with hers and pinky promise. How ironic indeed… "Anya, whatever happens, we shall always stay best friends!" Sasha declared and the past Anna beamed whereas the current Anna couldn't help but feel bittersweet about that memory.
"I shall always have your back and you mine." Sasha had continued and Anna huffed now.
She knew Alexandra had every right to be mad… She did the impossible! She pushed past her limits and gave an outstanding performance! However, so did she… Yet she wasn't expecting to become Olympic champion after that performance. Wasn't expecting the tears and sobs that soon enough escaped Sasha after she learned that she was in second place, right after Anna. Wasn't expecting winning the Olympics, the supposedly most important competition in her life, and yet feeling so empty when doing so… Wasn't expecting to have to stand in the podium along side her closest friend, her lover, who refused to even look her way, to even come close to her unless forced to for the photographs. Wasn't expecting to then have to share a room with her… Her who now wasn't even here but rather still at the stadium…
If it were any other competition Anna was going to go after her. To stay with her and just stare at the ice with her, comfort her or congratulate her or.. just do whatever Sasha needed… And for a second she thought of doing the same however, this wasn't her Sashenka anymore… This was Alexandra… And Alexandra didn't want to see her or hear from her…
Anna shouldn't be mad, she truly shouldn't… Sasha was expecting to win after that performance and yet against all odds it was her who did so… She shouldn't be angry at Sasha, she is just mad and hurt… However, it wasn't her fault! She didn't ask to win! She just skated the best she could and ended up in first place! And right now she couldn't stop thinking about how if Kamila won, this whole mess wasn't going to be created… Because after all, deep down she knew that if it was Kamila who won, Alexandra wasn't going to react the way she did… No… Anna was the problem…
Sasha didn't even congratulate her on her win…. One could debate she forgot yet Anna doubted that was the case;She knew her better than that… She didn't congratulate her cause she didn't believe Anna deserved to win.
And that's when the tears started streaming down her face and watering her cheeks. She had kept strong throughout the whole Olympics, throughout her whole career. She was the perfect student, obedient, consistent, never tired… And for once she let herself not be any of that and just cry like there was no tomorrow.
She wanted to believe that things will get better! That her body would stop hurting. That people will appreciate her now with a gold medal. That the things between her and Sasha were going to return back to normal yet she knew that this was far from the truth…
However, she couldn't help herself from wanting to go back in time. When the Olympics hadn't happened… When the pressure of being the Iron Fairy and Quad Queen. When they were just alone after a show in their shared dorm. Just Sasha and Anya. Two normal girls.
She just wanted to go back to the moment where it all started…
"Look" Sasha giggled, while pointing at a video of a poodle jumping around and wagging its tail on excitement on her phone. "It's soooo cute! I miss my dogs." Sasha pouted and made Anya laugh who immediately got a shove in her ribs by a fakely annoyed Sasha. "Don't mock me and my dogs or else." She said, tryingto sound threatening which only made Anya snort.
"I wasn't mocking anyone, Sasha." Anya defended herself only to earn a raised brow from Sasha which meant she wasn't buying it. "I just find it funny."
"What do you find funny?"
"The video of course?"
"You weren't even looking at the video." Sasha bluntly pointed out. Which was true; Anya was staring at Sasha the whole time, seeing how she laughed and giggled while scrunching her nose funnily before doing. However, why did Sasha have to point it out?
She couldn’t know what… Couldn't know Anna's feelings about her… Nobody knew. She knew better than to ever let anyone know about her stupid crush on Sasha… Knew better than to ruin her career as people weren't going to react warmly to those news so she just pushed down her crush and tried to act as if everything was fine.
"Yes, I was." Anna said becoming defensive; She couldn't let Sasha know.
"No. You weren't." Sasha chuckled for no particular reason and it only drove Anna more insane.
"Yes, I was! Where esle was I supposed to look at!?" Anna snapped earning a wide eyed look from Alexandra. However before she could apologize Sasha continued.
"I don't know…" Sasha started and fell silent for a few seconds before continuing more determined. "Maybe at me?" She dared to utter and now it was Anna's eyes turn to become wide.
"No, no. I-" Anna stuttered trying to find an excuse while blushing fiercely before she felt lips on being pressed against her own and an arm wrapping around her waist. And before she could fully registered what was happening she felt Sasha pulling back, only then did she double down and pressed her lips against Sasha's while wrapping her owns arms around her neck as if it to draw Sasha closer and surprisingly it worked.
They ended up kissing and even making out the whole night only to get yelled at by Eteri the next day at rehearsals for being too distracted. The lack of sleep and knowledge of what hers and Sasha's relationship now was making her jumps a mess.
And Anna remembered how 15 year old Anya awkwardly pulled Sasha aside in the break room after checking nobody was there for obvious reasons,after another failed attempt at the quad flip and asking her what they were. To which Sasha widened her eyes and immediately for some reason started apologized talking about how she felt Anna liked her and how she liked her back and a bunch of apologies before she was interrupted by Anya's lips on Sasha's, initiating the kiss this time.
After that while both of them were being blushing messes they came to the conclusion of them being a couple in secret for once again obvious reason. And that was how Alexandra became her Sashenka…
Those thoughts only made Anna sob harder. She just wanted her Sashenka back! However, she doubted she would ever get her back after today's events…
And just like that she feel asleep with tears in her eyes and hoping her Alexandra was there to comfort her… However Alexandra wasn't there…
Not until late at night…