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Ofelia Trevelyan walked slowly but surely toward the east side of the Chantry in Haven. She was trying her hardest not to draw attention to herself, using the hood of her robes to conceal her face.
The fact was, Ofelia was exhausted. And not in the way she liked, like after a day hiking the terrain in the Hinterlands, collecting herbs and fighting red Templars. No, that was the kind of an exhaustion Ofelia loved. That was the kind of exhaustion where no matter where her and her companions were camping, the moment her body hit the bed roll she passed out into a content sleep.
Today Ofelia was mentally and emotionally exhausted. It had been a week since the rebel mages joined the Inquisition and all she could think about was that awful future Alexius had unintentionally shown her. So much death and destruction. She couldn’t shake that image out of her head of Leliana being overtaken by creatures of the Fade and Cassandra and Solas fighting off all manner of terrible creatures. Ofelia couldn’t do anything, just standby and watch while she put her trust in Dorian to take them back to where they belonged. Back to a time when she could prevent it all from happening.
Ever since Ofelia returned to Haven after the horrors of future Redcliffe she was being hounded by what seemed like everyone in Thedas. Messengers would wake her in the middle of the night sending news, Josephine would wake her early most mornings to sign various contracts and letters, the rebel mages were constantly hounding her for everything under the sun. That on top of all the training she was doing with Dorian, Solas, and Vivienne. It was all becoming so overwhelming that Ofelia hadn’t had time to herself at all.
So as Ofelia headed toward the side of the Chantry all she could think was how it will be nice to hide for an hour, to be alone with her own thoughts, a little lunch, and the book she had stuffed in her belt.
The place Ofelia was heading to was her secret spot. It was hidden almost in plain sight. There was a little nook resting between the east side of the Chantry and the hillside. She had found it when she first settled in Haven, using it as a place to catch up on reading, maybe even grab a nap on the hard bench that sat back there. Ofelia loved the spot so much that the idea of anyone else finding it, realizing that was where she often hid was disconcerting. One night while most of the village slept, she stacked logs in front of the area, concealing the entry. Ofelia thought she had been pretty clever doing that and so far it worked out well.
Until today. The worst of all days. The day when Ofelia felt so overwhelmed she might explode. The day of all days that Ofelia needed alone time more than she needed to breathe.
As Ofelia slipped around the stacked logs, checking to see no one was watching her before she did, she realized someone was sitting on the bench hidden in the corner. HER BENCH.
“Commander!?” Ofelia sputtered to a stop, drawing Commander Cullen’s handsome face toward her and away from the letter he was reading.
He was just as shocked to see Ofelia. He reddened at being caught being idle when so much was going on, “Lady Trevelyan!” He stood suddenly, folding his letter and stuffing it in his pocket.
Ofelia let out a harsh laugh, certain the universe was messing with her, “What are you-?”
Cullen took a step toward her, worried something was wrong and she was seeking him out for assistance, “Is everything okay-?”
“No... I mean, yes! Everything is… fine.” She was flustered. Ofelia had resigned to not having to interact with anyone for at least the next hour and yet here someone was. And Cullen of all people, the one person she both loved and hated to see.
Loved, because… well, look at him. He was ridiculously handsome and there was this weird growing attraction Ofelia was constantly trying to ignore. On days when Ofelia wasn’t completely exhausted she even enjoyed a bit a flirtation with the former Templar, taking small pleasure in how flustered he would get.
But hated seeing him because he was such a busy body. He always seemed to make her feel like she should be doing more. That he seemed to always be expecting so much from Ofelia and she was worried about disappointing him. This little bit was exactly why seeing him right now was not a good thing, she didn't have the energy to impress him.
Cullen on the other hand was embarrassed. He hated that the Herald of Andraste had caught him during a very personal moment, as he read a letter from his sister. After finding this little nook behind the Chantry a couple of weeks ago, he was certain it would be a place for solitude, to take a breather from everything going on.
As Cullen watched Ofelia and Ofelia watched Cullen in a moment of awkward silence, Ofelia finally spoke, peeved that her spot had been taken.
“Are you busy or should I just…” She mumbled the last bit, pointing behind her to indicate the direction she could flee to but Cullen wasn’t about to tell her to go away.
“No, no of course not… sit.” He motioned toward the bench and Ofelia reluctantly sat.
She settled herself and watched Cullen do the same, a respectable distance between them, “Do you come back here often?”
Cullen eyed her, taking in that she was clearly agitated. It didn’t take him long to realize that she was expecting to be able to come sit here alone but rather than point it out he said, “Things have really picked up here in Haven, I suppose? I hope you aren’t feeling too..”
“Overwhelmed?” She cut in with a huff.
Cullen simply smiled softly and looked down at his lap.
Ofelia looked down at hers too, not sure what to say. The awkward silence had returned.
Cullen found it strange to be in Ofelia’s presence alone. It has only happened a handful of times and it was always because they were working, looking over the map in the war room, or delivering messages to one another.
“I’m sorry if I seem… grumpy. I just needed some alone time.” Ofelia said softly, breaking the tension.
“I understand.” Cullen stood, not wanting to intrude any longer when Ofelia’s hand snapped out and grabbed his arm.
“No, you should stay,” She looked up at him, her eyes apologetic. Ofelia knew that Cullen was probably just as overwhelmed as her and didn't want to take away his moment to read his letter. She did find it curious that he felt the need to hide to read it. Ofelia wondered who it was from. A lover perhaps? The thought of that left Ofelia feeling uneasy so she shoo'd whatever emotion that came with it away.
Cullen rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “Are you sure? I can-”
“No, it’s okay. I am just going to sit here and read for a little while if that’s okay.”
Cullen nodded and sat back down, again leaving a good amount of space between them. He was always conscious of how far away from her he was. He never wanted to get too close but always hated being too far from her. He knew his feelings about her were silly. That his school boy crush was just a phase, a side effect of loneliness but he felt it all the same. He had originally found Ofelia Trevelyan to be rather aggravating. She never seemed to take anything seriously and always had some clever quip waiting to sprout from her mouth. Cullen had of course learned to appreciate this about her, even looking forward to her humor and affable nature.
But Cullen never wanted to be inappropriate and he never wanted people, his colleagues and those under his command to think his intentions weren’t honorable. After his time at The Circle in Ferelden where he had given his heart to a mage, now the famed Hero of Ferelden, he knew that keeping his distance was important. His feelings were nothing compared the horrors Thedas was facing and it was important for Cullen to remember that.
So he kept his distance and pulled his letter back out letting a comfortable silence fall between them while they read.
A few moments passed before Cullen was pulled away again.
“What are you reading?”
Cullen drew his attention from his letter and looked at Ofelia, “Hmm?”
“I asked what you are reading?” She looked at him with genuine curiosity and she wanted to let Cullen know that she was okay with this. Okay with just sitting here in this hidden nook behind the Chantry with him.
“It’s a letter from my sister.”
Ofelia felt relief at that but tried her best not to let it show, “Your sister? That’s nice that you get to keep up with your family.”
Cullen smiled in a agreement but not wanting to delve into the topic of his family. He didn’t want that reminder.
“What about you?” He motioned toward the book she held.
Ofelia looked down at it and then held it up, “Oh, it’s just this romance serial that I found in the war room, no one claimed it so I figured I might read it.”
“Romance serial? I never thought you of all people would enjoy such a thing.” Cullen teased.
Ofelia let out a laugh, “And I never thought I would see the day where you skipped out on work to hide behind the Chantry.”
“Are you saying I work too much, Lady Trevelyan?”
“Well I’m not calling you lazy,” She laughed.
“I’ve been known to relax, I will have you know. I even napped once.”
Ofelia let out a laugh and Cullen couldn’t help but smile. She was so cute and when she laughed her whole face lit up. Cullen had the urge to tell her as much. He wanted to tell her that he loved the sound of her laugh and that he loved the way her dark brown hair was always a mess and the way her eyes lit up when she was happy.
But he didn’t. Because that would be inappropriate.
Ofelia watched Cullen too, thinking about how much she liked it when he made jokes because he didn’t do it very often and when he did it was like seeing a side to him that was hidden under all of that honor and duty and awkwardness.
At the mention of him napping, Ofelia wondered what he looked like when he slept and if he took that worried look he seemed to carry everywhere to bed with him. She wondered if he slept well or if like her, often laid awake wondering if tomorrow would be the day it all comes crashing down.
Ofelia reached for the small pouch at her side and opened it, taking out a chunk of bread and breaking a piece off, “Want some?” she offered Cullen.
Cullen accepted it, “Thank you, I haven’t really had time to eat much today.”
Ofelia drew her legs up close her and picked at her piece of bread, “Yeah, things have been rather hectic. Finding time to eat seems to not always be a priority. Though I have to say, I think about food a lot," She laughed.
Cullen laughed too and nodded, eating a small bite of the shared bread. After his smile faded he said softly, “I want you to know, Lady Trev-”
“You know you can call me Ofelia if you want, Cullen. You don’t always need to be so formal.”
Cullen stopped mid-sentence, “I know, it’s just habit I suppose.”
The truth was, it helped. It helped Cullen maintain the distance he needed.
“I want you to know...Ofelia,” He finally said, placing emphasis on her name with a teasing smile, “that if you ever need help with anything. Or if you need someone to talk to, I am here.”
Cullen had noticed how much Ofelia’s demeanor had changed since returning from Redcliffe and recruiting the mages. She didn’t smile as much and she seemed to focus on the task ahead of them in a way she hadn’t before. Cullen knew Ofelia saw things while in Redcliffe, a terrifying future that just hearing about it sent shock waves through everyone who had heard about it. But to live it, experience it? That had to be something else entirely and the way that Ofelia had changed, Cullen knew she was struggling.
“I appreciate that. Thank you, Cullen.” Ofelia said softly, not meeting his eye. She hated feeling vulnerable. She knew that she liked to brush things off and crack jokes but it was often to hide how terrified she was. But lately, since returning from Redcliffe, Ofelia was so terrified of the future that not even making light of it helped and so she had retreated into herself.
She had taken on so many responsibilities because she didn’t want anyone to say she never tried.
Cullen offered a small nod and watched her return her attention to her book.
Ofelia could feel him still watching her, maybe waiting for her to say more. When she didn’t speak, Cullen began reading his letter again.
They spoke little for the next hour and half. They just sat together, separately involved in reading and enjoying the warm sun even though the air was crisp. Both were hyper aware of each other but didn’t draw attention to it. And yet there was nothing about them sitting like this that was uncomfortable.
Cullen would sneak a glance every so often and watch her profile as she read, strands of her hair hung around her face.
And Ofelia would look at Cullen out of the corner of her eye, certain he had just been watching her but she had yet to catch him even though she could see him smiling. That only made her smile.
After Cullen realized he should probably go check on his troops Ofelia looked up at him from her book, seeing that he was closer than she realized. It seemed in that hour and half, they had unintentionally scooted closer to each other and were almost touching.
Cullen realized it too and stood up quickly, “Well, Lady Trev-”
Ofelia cut him off with a stern look.
Cullen cleared his throat and smiled, “Ofelia. I enjoyed our time together even if it was mostly silent. I should probably-”
“I will see you later Cullen,” Ofelia interjected, relieving Cullen of the awkward goodbye.
He smiled and gave her a small nod before turning on his heel and walking away. The whole time back to the training yard all he could think about was how he should have stayed just a little longer.
Ofelia watched him until he was out of sight, thinking to herself that if the world ends before she at least gets to kiss that man, it would be most unfortunate.