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He couldn't do this anymore. He always had known that Mathias and him had problems, and he always thought that they could work through them if they tried enough, but maybe that wasn't how it was. Maybe this was reality, and reality was as harsh as they always said it was. Maybe whatever they had, or didn't have, was coming to an end.
And maybe that was okay.
Maybe it was okay that his heart hurt and felt numb all at the same time, and that the tears were slowly falling down his face.
He had finally done it, not even 10 minutes ago. He had called Mathias and told him. Maybe it was a mistake, but what was the point now, it was over. It was in the past.
So why did it hurt so much? Why didn't his heart realize that nothing was going back to the way it was?
Maybe it was the guilt of making Mathias, the happiest person he had ever met, cry. Maybe it was the guilt of making himself cry-again. Because he had issues. Because they had issues. And nothing was going to fix those issues. They couldn't pretend forever. And why not end it now? Before they could get their hopes up even further? Before they could start to believe in the possibility of them existed?
But it was all just maybes. It always had been, and maybe it always would be.
All he knew for sure was that it he couldn't do it anymore, and that it hurt.