Chapter Text
The first thing I notice is the faint sound of humming, then a faint beep.
As I try to take a good look at my surroundings, I realise that all around me is nothing but a pool of darkness. Yet somehow I can feel my legs and arms as I try to take a step forward. It feels like I’m walking in an ocean, each step sluggish but firm. Where am I going? As I keep trying to navigate or even move around, I notice a faint light of a lamp ahead of me, next to a bed.
As I slowly take one step and another to the bed, the faint sound of beeping from before becomes more persistent. The shape of the bed in front of me becomes clearer, the lamp on the bedside next to it being the only light in the never-ending expanse of darkness. And as I get closer, I see a small figure sitting on the bed, dangling their feet back and forth.
Something about this feels familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it as I slowly inch closer to the bed. The beeping in the background gives me clarity as I sit next to the small figure on the bed; they don’t seem bothered by this at all. I notice their head turns as they seemingly notice my presence, there’s a hint of recognition in their eyes that makes the ever-increasing darkness almost warm.
“Y-You’re here, I-I c-couldn’t f-fall asleep.”
I notice their face turn red as their fingers intertwine together, their eyes looking down on the darkness before turning back and jumping into the bed, pulling the covers aside, before settling in. The sight would be endearing if it weren’t for the creepiness of the whole place, the beeping returns ever so slowly like a beating heart.
“C-Could you t-tuck me in? Mama, w-would do it…b-but she isn’t here.”
I nod as I seemingly place the covers in the right direction. This feels right like I did it a million times before. The kid lets out a sigh of relief, stuffed between all those blankets, he looks a lot smaller than he is. A content smile spreads across his face, as only his head and hands appear out of the blankets. As I stand to turn off the lamp, I feel something grab my hand.
“C-can you s-stay? It gets scary when it’s all dark, and y-you always used to s-stay until I fall asleep…please?”
The beeping gets louder.
“Sure”
I sit on the edge of the bed, I feel a small hand on mine; it’s warm, but it doesn’t feel quite right to me. The kid lets out a yawn, his eyes seemingly always fighting the urge to sleep, but as I feel him slowly drifting away, his lips move once again as he turns around to look at me.
“W-will you p-please read me a story next time before you l-leave?”
The beeping gets louder.
I nod my head feverishly as I feel the kid’s grip on my hand slowly loosening. A smile graced his face, and I couldn’t help but smile back, as I stood up once again and reached for the Lamp. The kid’s lips once again shift before I hear him muttering something, and above all the beeping that ever shifts in the background with its tune, I hear it the clearest.
“G-Goodnight”
I nod with a smile, uttering a similar but a rather faint one in return. As I feel my hand brush against the lamp’s thin string, the whole darkness goes quiet for a moment, as if holding back its breath. Then ever so silently, I feel my thumb upon the lamp’s switch, and with a faint click, the whole world goes dark.
And I can’t breathe.
—---
My eyes snap open with shock, my heart beating heavily inside my chest. I clutch my shirt as cold sweat travels down my forehead. I take another deep breath and shrug off my bed covers. Just a dream, you’re fine, just a dream. I get up from the bed and try to stretch all the soreness out of my body as I prepare myself for a shower.
Got up too early, maybe I can make breakfast this time. Once I’m done with the shower and feeling refreshed, I make my way slowly to the kitchen. The apartment is as small as it is, so it’s about three steps in before I’m staring at the fridge. Wonder if we have any eggs left. Cereal is definitely out of the picture. I gotta run for some groceries later.
I grab four tiny eggs, give them both a slight crack, and soon enough, the sound of sizzling eggs fills the apartment. As I’m finishing up, I hear the all-familiar sound of footsteps coming from the room across mine. Honestly, it was a godsend that we found an apartment that has two separate rooms at a good price; otherwise, we would have had to share a room or a bed.
“Why are you up so early?”
I wonder for a moment if I should tell him about my dream, but instead, I just shrug before making sure the eggs won’t burn as I turn to look at him.
“Couldn’t sleep, may I interest you in some Eggs?”
I hold a chuckle as he snorts and goes to grab the coffee machine. He can’t seem to survive without the occasional coffee in the morning. I flip the eggs before setting two on a plate for me and my roommate. I probably should invest in some bacon. As both of us settle around the old crooked table in the kitchen with three crooked chairs.
Every now and then, I take a glance before reaching for another bite of the eggs. Should maybe add more salt and pepper next time.
“Oh, uh, I was hoping to ask you for a favor.”
I raise an eyebrow before gesturing for him to go ahead with my fork.
“Was wondering if I can borrow your car for today. Alena and I are invited to this party out of town. Now I would love for you to join us, but I probably know your answer by now.”
I nodded, it’s been three years so far since we started coexisting in the small apartment. Finn was looking for a place near his university, and I was looking for a fresh start. Naturally, Finn and Alena are childhood friends, but Alena would rain hell on earth before letting him bunk anywhere near her place. Especially since she has company now.
“You can have it by the end of the day, just bring it back in one piece, alright?” It wasn’t the first time I lent Finn my car, well, I wouldn’t say it’s much of a car, the past three years haven’t been too kind to the poor thing. But the car is as reliable as it gets, and it hasn’t let me down yet.
“Thanks man, you’re the best.”
I give another nod as I stand up and gather our plates, normally by now Finn would rush around the apartment gathering his university belongings while I get prepared for my job. After what seems like forever, we both head down onto the street. After a brief goodbye, we both go our separate ways. I head to my destination, breathing the city air, then I make the mistake of looking into an alleyway on my right.
Standing there is a small figure, a kid like any other in the world, but that’s not what grabs my attention. When he notices me and looks back, it’s where I feel myself freeze. It can’t be, without even knowing it, I rush over. The kid seemingly runs off and turns left, and as I exit the other end of the alley and look around me, there’s no one around. Then I hear the bell of the door of the library right next to me.
I step into the Library, greeted by the smell of paper and dust. An old lady stands behind a counter, she raises an eyebrow but doesn’t ask questions. I have been here before, whether it be for books or study material for Finn’s courses. I head between two bookshelves looking for that brown hair I was so sure I saw. I find myself facing the fiction section, as my eyes roam around, I see a book misaligned from the others. I turn to grab it out of its place and take a good look at its cover. Wonder if I can borrow it.
I keep searching the Library for the kid, but my search ends up fruitless. I go to ask the Librarian if she saw anyone as I seemingly place the book I wish to borrow. The Librarian shakes her head and says that I’m her first customer all morning. After borrowing the book and promising to return it safely, I head out of the library and back to my destination.
Yet, I can’t help but wonder, was it him? The same kid from my dream ?
___
By the time I’m done with my two jobs, the sun starts to set slowly, and I feel my whole body screaming for rest. Gotta grab groceries first , with that thought in mind, I shuffle towards the supermarket. As I near the entrance of the market, I spot a group of kids running ahead of me into the market.
I grab a basket and set out to get the essentials. As I’m checking the date for canned beans, I feel a set of eyes staring at my back. As I turn to see what the fuss is, I see a blur of movement and nothing. I shake my paranoia away and focus on the canned goods in front of me.
Once I’m done with grocery shopping, I start making my way back home. I wonder how much rent will cost this year, electricity and water aren’t cheap- Before I can continue that thought, I feel something barrel into me and I struggle not to fall as I make out the object that ran into me.
“Sorry, Mister, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
The kid apologizes before running off, and he did knock out the book I bought earlier. Damn, it’s gonna be harder to return if it gets dirty, I gotta be more careful. I try to brush off whatever dust I can from the book before placing it alongside the groceries and marching off towards home.
Stepping inside the apartment, it’s quite dark as the sun has set a while ago. Finn must have gone to that party with Alena. I hope they have fun. I'd better get started on dinner. Once I have the groceries all set into the fridge and cabinets, I start on dinner. I should make an extra plate for Finn, in case he comes back hungry. Once I’m done, I grab my plate and settle on the ratty couch that Finn and I dragged into the apartment.
The silence sets around me as soon as I’m done with my plate, I let it rest next to me as I take out the book I bought earlier. I try to get comfortable on the couch and start reading. And with each flip of a page, my eyelids grow heavier, and soon enough, I fall asleep.
—--
I open my eyes and find myself in the dark space once more. I’m back here, again? I try to spot the lamp from my earlier dream, this time it’s farther off and it takes me a bit to reach. The setting is the same as last time, except there’s a rug now underneath the bed, where the kid from before is sitting on holding a book; It looks like he’s trying to read it.
“Hey”
The kid seems to hear my voice, and a huge smile appears on his face as he turns to look at me, his eyes shining as well. He stands up and rushes to me with the book in his hand.
“Y-you’re back, c-can you r-read me t-this story before I go to s-sleep?”
How can I refuse? I nod and take the book in my hands as the kid hops onto the bed and motions for me to sit next to him. As I settle next to him, I finally have the chance to take a look at the book. No way, it’s the same one I borrowed earlier, well, isn’t this creepy? Well, it’s just a dream, isn’t it?
I start reading, and my voice fills the empty void. Every now and then, the kid would stop me from reading and ask questions before nodding and letting me continue. Soon enough, I notice the kid’s eyelids getting heavy and his head resting on my shoulder before shaking himself awake. With a sigh, I shut the book and place it next to the lamp.
“Alright, buddy, it looks like this should be enough for today, huh?”
The kids’ eyes widen before his hands latch onto mine once again.
“D-don’t leave, please, it’s s-scary here!”
I tilt my head, now I’m confused, isn’t this a dream? Eventually, I will have to wake up, right?
“What do you mean? I can’t stay here, can I?”
The kid’s head droops before shaking his head.
“N-no, it’s n-not your t-time yet.”
I place my hand gently on his shoulder.
“How about I tuck you in and next time, let’s read more of the story, okay?”
That seems to get to him as his earlier smile returns, and he nods his head before settling once again into the bed. I make sure the covers are placed correctly and the kid’s comfy before taking one last look at him, then at the void around us. Sitting here like this doesn’t make it so scary.
“G-goodnight”
“Goodnight, Buddy, sleep well, alright?”
The kid flashes me one last smile before his eyes close off and he drifts to sleep. I turn to grab the lamp’s switch once again, but not before my eye catches the book, and as my thumb brushes against the switch, I hesitate. This is more than just a dream, isn’t it? As if in reply, the beating from the previous dream returns, drumming heavily all around me.
I back away from the lamp and stare at the kid in the bed, the void all around us, and the beating that only gets louder by the minute. Before I can say anything, a white door seemingly appears next to the bed. I take a few steps until I’m standing in front of it, my hand hesitantly reaches the knob, and pulls the door open. Then I’m falling deeper into the void.
What are you doing?
Do you remember who you are?
Do you realise what you are doing?
Don’t leave us, Don’t leave us again!
“Wake up you idiot, you’re gonna be late.”
I stumble to consciousness and fall off the couch at the same time. When I regain my bearings, Finn is standing over me with a grin.
“Have any good dreams while you slept on that brick called a couch?”
I sigh in relief before debating telling Finn about my dreams.
“No, not really.”
Finn shakes his head, still smiling, before offering me a cup.
“I know you’re not much of a coffee person, so I made you tea instead.”
I hold the cup gently in my hand, its warmth spreading into my palms.
“Thanks”
“Don’t mention it. You know, when we first bunked together, you never really slept much. I could always hear you shuffling about.”
I nod. When I first came to town, I was a mess, and sleeping wasn’t easy.
“Well, all I wanted to say is, get all your beauty sleep while you can. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a boring lecture to attend to.”
I stand up, still holding warm tea, and I settle on the couch before texting Gloria that I will be late for my shift. She won’t be happy, but hopefully she won’t be mad either. I set my focus on the tea in front of me before I notice Finn preparing to leave. He takes one look at me before giving a small salute and leaving. I think I got quite lucky with having him here.
Once the heavenly warm tea is finished, I scramble to get ready and rush out to my shift. Thank heavens it’s only a walk away, god bless Gloria for taking me in. Really hope she doesn’t berate me much for being late. I cut my thoughts short as I make it to the restaurant’s entrance, where I see waiters and waitresses cleaning and setting tables.
As I rush into the back, hoping against all hope I don’t run into Gloria, I put on my job outfit. Once I’m all set, I run into one of my coworkers, who gives me a nod as I scramble to start my shift. The afternoon settles upon us, and I can feel exhaustion creeping up on me. I skipped out on breakfast again. Finn’s tea helped, but I think I’m gonna need food soon-
“Hey, can I place an order?”
I turned around from where I was cleaning the counter and see-
“Alena? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I was wondering when I would eventually run into you.”
I see Alena sigh as she sits in one of the chairs in front of me. She places an order, and I get set to make it as she starts talking.
“So, do you know what’s going on with Finn lately?”
I turn my head to ask what she means before she skips me to it.
“Like, okay, nothing’s wrong, he’s just being weird. I invited him to this party the other day, and he said he would show up, but then he didn’t. And this isn’t the first time he bailed out on me either, every time I try to hang out with him, he’s always busy. Like he can have his alone time all he wants, but I can’t help but feel suspicious, you know what I’m saying?”
I nod as I serve her the milkshake she ordered before replying.
“He has also been borrowing my car more often. It could be nothing, I mean, he’s our friend, right? If he wants to tell us, he will eventually.”
Alena's shoulders slump for a moment, then with vigorous speed, she starts sipping her milkshake. When she comes up to catch her breath, she sighs before looking at me and pointing a finger at me.
“What about you? How are…well, how are you adapting, I guess.“
“It’s been fine so far, people here are nice.”
Alena nods before finishing the remains of her milkshake. With another sigh, she starts talking again.
“Would you like to come to one of those parties? I know you aren’t much of a people person, but I can introduce you to someone nice. Old stiff board Finn is probably no fun anymore, is he?”
I chuckle before remembering how Finn made me tea earlier this morning, and a small smile appears on my face.
“No, Finn is great, I really couldn’t ask for a better roommate.”
Alena raises an eyebrow before passing me her order’s due.
“Well, I’m just saying. You need more than Finn in your life, you gotta have friends and whatnot. Eventually, old Finn will probably move on somewhere. Who are you gonna rely on then? Hm?”
I know where she’s coming from. I have been trying harder to make more friends, but between my two jobs, it hasn’t been easy sailing.
“I will think about it, alright? Thanks, Alena.”
Alena takes one last look at me before shrugging and standing up.
“Whatever, you have my number if you change your mind about it.”
I watch Alena leave, her offer is still ringing inside my head. Am I really that lonely? But before I could answer that question, I see the last face I wished to never run into today. And they’re angry? Pissed? Upset? Happy? No, with Gloria I can never tell, her lips start moving.
“Did you have breakfast this morning?”
I feel my throat closing up before shaking my head. Suddenly, I feel a hand grab me by the collar and drag me into the employee’s resting area. Gloria gestures for someone inside to go out and take my shift before she shoves me into one of the chairs. She places a wrapping in my hands and I realise it’s a sandwich, I take a glance at Gloria-
“Eat”
I nod, hoping I don’t push my luck further as I swallow the sandwich.
“So, why were you late?”
I gulp the sandwich down, and as I turn to speak, I shake my fear away.
“I-I overslept.”
Gloria takes in my reply before nodding and standing up.
“Finish the sandwich and be back there pronto, I want those floors clean before your shift is over, understood? ”
“Understood”
Gloria leaves me with the sandwich, and I gobble it up, not realising how hungry I was before getting up to clean the floors. Once I’m done, I feel my arms begging for mercy, but I still feel a bit of energy left. Gotta get my last shift done with before heading home , I quickly change and head to my next job down the block.
My entrance rings the bell and alerts the florist behind the counter, a kind lady by the name of Clara. She was the first to take me in when I first arrived here. I murmur a faint greeting as I place the gardening gloves and the apron provided. Clara, as always, drags me around certain areas of the shop, telling me a fun fact before showing me what to do.
“These are Carnations, they are rich with symbolism, birth, death, and even love. You gotta make sure the soil’s right, don’t overwater it now.”
Even when I’m exhausted, I can never tire of listening to Clara talking about flowers. Honestly, I would help her with the shop for free if she didn’t insist on paying me.
“You are an excellent helper and a better company.”
But eventually my shift ends, and I have to head home. The sun sets sooner than I expected, and as I head out, it’s nighttime already outside. How long was I scrubbing floors for Gloria? I sigh before marshing off home, my whole body has been wrung dry, and if I didn’t have a bed, the couch would be extremely tempting by now.
I enter the apartment and notice the kitchen lights are on. I find Finn blacked out on the table. Wonder what he went through today. I take a look at the messed-up clock in the kitchen before sighing in relief, knowing tomorrow is a holiday. I try to shake Finn awake, but that only gets me a groan as he shifts around to look at me.
“What time is it?”
“It’s not midnight yet if that’s what you’re asking.”
I busy myself with making tea, knowing fully well this could be a long night, and I’m exhausted to hell and back, so tea it is.
“So what’s got you so down that you blacked out on the kitchen table?”
Finn lets out a sigh before rubbing his face and staring into nothing.
“Look, I lied to you. The past few weeks, I have been using your car to go out with…a date.”
I nod, gesturing for him to continue, as I place the boiling water in a cup.
“Things were going well, no, they were perfect actually. I was…happy, and I was planning on another date tomorrow. But then they came up to me today after my lectures were done and told me that it’s not working out for them anymore.”
I grab the tea before subconsciously making another cup for Finn, I place a cup in front of him as I sit across him with mine.
“Did they give you a reason?”
Finn sighs as his shoulders slump once more, but then he straightens himself up and stares at the tea I made him. There seems to be some anger and bitterness in his voice, but mostly sadness.
“I don’t know, I did try harder this time to make it work, and I did think it would work, but I guess I was wrong. Nothing seems to go right for me.”
I stare at Finn for a moment, choosing my next words carefully.
“Finn, you know as much as I do that you did your best. Anyone would be lucky to have you; maybe you just haven’t found the right person for you yet. So it means you gotta keep looking and if it doesn’t work out, you have me and Alena to talk to, alright?”
Finn seems to ponder my words for a moment before grabbing the teacup and drinking it all in one sip. He gags for a whole minute before looking at me like I killed his newborn child.
“How do you manage to make it taste more bitter than coffee? You’re insane, I’m never allowing you to make tea again, that was awful.”
“Hey, it’s simple and it gives it flavour.”
“Flavour? This could kill someone, I’m sure of it.”
“Well, then you would never be able to prove it.”
Finn shakes his head at me as he heads down the hallway. I see a faint smile as he’s gone. Well, that went well. I should get changed. I stand up, grabbing both teacups. And once I’m done cleaning them, I head to the bathroom, but not before taking a peek at Finn’s bedroom. It looks like he was drained; he fell asleep so quickly, or my tea killed him...
Shaking my murderous thoughts aside, I get cleaned up and drop like a sack of potatoes on the bed. I spot the book I bought yesterday on the nightstand next to me, and I start reading until I fall asleep again, like yesterday . When my eyes open again, I’m standing in the darkness once again. But this time, there’s a white door in front of me.
“Do you still wish to remember? Then go ahead.”