Chapter Text
“Oh, Kurger Burger!” Fai said in a lilt as he rounded the doorway to Kurogane’s study. “Still working?”
Kurogane just grunted, the ‘obviously’ implied.
“Don’t you think you’ve been at it long enough?”
“It’s not done until it’s done.”
The blonde let himself in, gaze avoiding the darkened window.
It wasn’t often that Fai liked what he saw in the mirror. He knew he was attractive on some theoretical level. Back at Clover his appearance had gone through enough focus groups that said as much. But that was really worth fuck all if there wasn’t someone being attracted to you.
“You should get some rest. Look at it with fresh eyes again tomorrow.”
“I’m kind of on a deadline here.”
Things were easier back when there was a team keeping him pretty. He’d been tan. His hair never got shaggy. A twice weekly massage kept his stress under control while a nail technician did the same for his cuticles. Daily work with his personal trainer kept him in a body just this side of unattainable by mere mortals, while his personal chef made sure he never had to count a calorie or worry about eating too little. And sleeping with the boss meant never having to call in when you needed a late morning.
Fai bent over the desk, resting his elbows on the wood with a cheerful smile. “I’m sure it can wait long enough for me to relieve some of your tension.” He gave a saucy wink.
“Tch.” Kurogane swiveled the chair pointedly away.
They were all things he could do himself, really. He could file his own nails. Do sit-ups at home. Eat a vegetable once in a while. Force himself to go out in the L.A. sunshine. But he just…
… didn’t.
And the body it had taken a team of professionals thousands of dollars a week to build and maintain, slowly slipped away.
“Come on, Kuro-pu, don’t be like that.” Fai rounded the desk, coming to kneel before him, blinking blue doe eyes up at him. “I’ll make you feel so good.”
Fai was left with a reflection he hadn’t known since he’d been a teenager. Skinny. Pale. Desperately in need of a haircut. He looked exactly the same, except old.
And minus the ink he’d once drunkenly spent a week’s worth of food money on because Yuuko had wanted their tattoos to match.
(“A phoenix.” He’d told Ashura in hushed tones one night, pulling his long hair aside so he could have a clear view of the back of his neck. “Because I’ll always rise from the ashes.”
“That’s adorable.” He’d answered, planting a smiling kiss to it. “But you know it has to go, right?”)
Fai pressed on. Why was Kurogane so resistant tonight? He’d never seen a guy work so hard to turn down a blowjob. It was almost exciting though. Like a reminder of how things had been in the beginning. How hard Kurogane had resisted. How crazy it had driven Fai. But it had been different then, because then there had been the ever-present secret that the forbidden was something they both desperately wanted. He’d never felt more beautiful.
Now?
If Kurogane was really this repulsed with him, couldn’t he at least spare his feelings and come up with a less bullshit excuse?
“Please, Daddy?” He drug his cheek across Kurogane’s thigh, voice growing heated and looking up at him wantonly. “I’ll let you do anything.”
A foot caught him in the stomach and he fell back with a yelp. It hadn’t been a kick but it still hurt. For a second he just groaned. There was a momentary fantasy of going out in a short shirt and low riding pants, letting people glimpse a mottled bruise and wonder. Not that it would bruise. It hadn’t been anything like hard enough.
Kurogane was standing now, looming over him. The chair was knocked back, lying on it’s side, a single wheel still spinning. “Christ, Fai!” Kurogane snapped, livid. “Learn how to take a fucking ‘No’!”
Fai was smiling, ready to laugh this off. Pretend it had never happened. But Kurogane took another step forward.
“I’m not interested, Ok? You want me to spell it out for you?” His hands were fisted. His mouth a snarl.
Fai winced and crawled back a step, his eyes on the carpet and his chest tight. “Sorry.” Fai said in a rush. Kurogane froze mid-step. “Sorry, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have bothered you. I’m sorry.”
He saw Kurogane sag and offer him a hand to stand up. He took it.
“You know I hate it when you call me that.” Kurogane said as he pulled Fai to standing, still buzzing with anger but holding it in check.
“No. I know. I shouldn’t have.” Fai tried to leave but Kurogane still didn’t let go of his hand. Fai knew better than to fight it.
“Idiot.” He sighed it under his breath.