Work Text:
Dear Pok,
Our department mandated therapist suggested I try journalling as a better outlet for my “volatile emotions” because apparently beating the stuffing out of the training dummies for the K9 unit isn’t “productive” and actually “terrifying for both civilians and colleagues.” I sewed them up after, I’m not irresponsible.
I don’t see how this can be more helpful than that. I’ll just be better about not having witnesses.
Dear Pok,
I got a stern talking to from the therapist for not keeping up with this.
It feels so silly and pointless, but I want to set a good example for Riz. I can’t just be angry and sad all the time. Because I am sad. And really, really angry. Why’d you have to take that last mission? They can’t even tell me everything about how you died and I don’t trust what they DO tell me. I don’t know what you died for! What am I supposed to do with that? How am I supposed to find closure when there isn’t any? How am I supposed to move on like things are okay? They’re not okay! You’re not here!!
Dear Pok,
Had to take Riz to the healers today. He was trying to recreate that shoot-dive-roll maneuver you used to show him and broke his arm. He wants to be you so badly, even more now that you’re gone. I can’t watch him all the time and I think his new babysitter, Penny, is just teaching him more ways to sneak around and get in trouble (but she’s the only one who will accept a rate I can afford). I never wanted to raise Riz without you. I don’t know if I CAN do this on my own.
Dear Pok,
It’s Riz’s first day of high school at Augefort. He looks just like you with his briefcase (at least he doesn’t have braces) and he even made business cards that are… toeing the line of legality. He’s hellbent on finding clues about Penny’s disappearance. I told him to make friends, that friends are more important than clues, but I think it went over his head.
I still haven’t made much progress on the missing girls case. It’s hard to not feel like a failure when I can’t keep our fridge stocked OR make sure Riz sleeps instead of making conspiracy boards OR solve my cases. I’m supposed to be making sure our kid feels safe, but I’m doing such a piss-poor job that he has to solve the mystery himself. I’m sure you would see something I missed… you were always better at puzzles.
Okay, enough feeling sorry for myself. Something has to change soon, right? I’ll figure it out, I always do.
Dear Pok,
Riz and his new adventuring party were part of a crime scene where the principal apparently shot himself and then the guidance counselor after they were all attacked by cream corn monsters. Riz stayed hidden there until I came with the police, saying he was going to make sure no one (the teachers) tampered with the evidence.
It’s his first day. This is his new adventuring party.
I’m scared he’s too much like you. Like us .
I’m scared he’s going to get himself killed.
I can’t lose you both. I can’t.
Please protect him because I don’t know if I can.
Dear Pok,
I know it won’t bring you back, but Riz and I devoured every last morsel of Kalvaxus’s wretched, husband/father eating body. I wish you could’ve had a bite. I wish you could see what a talented young man our son is.
Thank you for the message you left Riz. I know it means the world to him. You were the best father Riz could ask for.
Ps. I hate to say it, but he looks right holding your old arquebus.
Dear Pok,
Of all the things I’ve written to you, this might be the hardest to say.
I think I met someone?
He’s a father of one of Riz’s friends, Fig. He had been sealed in a gem underneath the old mythril factory, but Fig and the kids managed to release him and he’s been getting settled up here rather than return to Hell and take a big demotion. He’s the new Bloodrush coach since Riz and his friends killed the last one (it’s fine, he was a bad guy).
We’ve just been chatting at the school and a little bit on the phone and he asked me out on a proper date. I want to go. I’m going to go.
I still love you tremendously, but I think I’m ready to open up to someone else again. Now that we know what happened to you, it doesn’t feel like a betrayal to what we had. I want to believe that you’d be happy for me. Please be happy for me.
Dear Pok,
Riz told me everything. Of course you’re still working in Heaven. You’re in HEAVEN and you’re at a desk gathering intel to keep the living safe. To keep me and Riz safe. You are an absolutely idiotic, wonderful, workaholic. I’m so proud to have been your wife and have Riz with you.
Well, I guess now I know I can tell you all this directly and know that you’re listening.
I’ll talk to you soon.
Love, Sklonda