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childe was tired. he was finally free for a bit after months of being busy. he scaled your apartment complex and landed on your balcony. he was about to knock before seeing you were asleep. he decided not to wake you. he took out the little key you had given him before. he kept it safe behind a zipper in his fatui coat. he should have probably worn his regular uniform. the outfit had his forehead covered in sweat, it was a hot summer night and it was doing him no favors. he had forgotten about the heat outside of his homeland, he had been busy having his thoughts consumed by you. he used the key and the door cracked open. he came in and locked the door. immediately his big scarf came off followed by his coat. as he undressed he noticed your eyes watching.
"so you were awake?"
"no. i just awoke because my cat got up from bed." a meow is heard along with paws against the door "but here you are..." you watched as childe opened the door a smidge for your cat to get out to your kitchen before closing it again. the red head heard a rustling from your bed.
"don't"
you listened and laid back in the bed. childe came over and you felt the bed sink under his weight. he ran his fingers though your hair "theres no point. i can only stay for so long" childe tugged on the string of the little lamp sitting on the bedside table. "now i can see the frown your sporting" guilt heavy in his words
"why do you come only for a few hours at night? whats the point. i mean, you come though my balcony like some kind of stalker. i wish i was more important to you" you didnt mean to raise your voice but you were angry. well more hurt then angry.
childe looked away and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands "i do this because you are important. i'm a harbinger and if i have a weakness it will be exploited. i put you in danger every time i come, do you know how selfish i am being right now?"
you looked over the tall figure that sat in-front of you. "I'm sorry. i just wish you were more selfish" usually you would argue more but even you knew not to waste time doing something pointless.
childe shook his head "me to."
the ticking of the clock filled the room. each tick closer to childe leaving. everytime he left it could very well be the last time you ever saw him. so you cherished it.
"i got your letters. thank you.."
"good. i was worried my sibling's wouldnt send them"
you remember what childe had told you before he had left
"i'll send a letter to my siblings and on the back of the same paper ill write something for you in invisible ink so my siblings dont read it, then ill have them send it to you"
"smart" you replied "but how will i send letter back?"
"you cant. you can write me letters and then ill read them when i meet you ok?"
"but-"
"ill be excited to read them"
the sound of a lighter flickering brings you back to the present
"addict"
childe blows out smoke into the air "cut me some slack"
"dont get ashes on my damn carpet again"
"yeah, yeah" he looked at the ash tray you had brought just for him sitting next to the lamp. he rolled the cigarette between his fingers
you see the eyebags on his tired face. "are you taking care of yourself?" your voice full of concern
"are you?"
"shut up..."
"just go to sleep alright? you worry to much"
"i cant my hearts beating to fast"
"hm? from what?" childe chuckles
"probably that sugar stuffed cake you ordered to my house the other day"
"that wasn't me i told you it was the water that got it for you"
you rolled your eyes "how in the world- im not even close to any water what are you on about?"
"you are."
"can i be closer?" you decided to play his stupid game
"one day"
"if i get closer do i get more things delivered?"
childe side eyed you "is that all you care about?"
"no theres also the money and gifts you send me to-"
childe shoves a stuffed animal into your face weakly "your so fake and shallow"
you laugh "hey! hey!"
"wait...is this the whale plushie i sent you a few days ago?"
"maybe" you mumble into the whale stuffed in your face
childe throws the plushie away and kisses your forehead. the small warm light illuminate your faces, the smell of sweat and cologne filling your nostrils. childe breaks away and takes another puff.
you talk about everything that happened while he was away. rambling on and on about stupid drama or things that seem like such a big deal to you. childe finds them mundane but likes the difference of your life from his. soon you start to doze off but you try to fight it. you didnt want to fall asleep because you knew what followed "i hate waking up to just your scent. i want to see you, ajax"
childe stops. you used his real name. and he knows you did it on purpose. it was his weakness. childe looks away "you vixen. i told you not to do that"
"im sorry i di-"
he cuts you off with his tongue in your mouth. the passion was there as he held the side of your face closer. you put your hands on his shoulders. after awhile he breaks the kiss.
"you know i hate leaving you. dont make it harder for me ok?" he kisses you again before sitting back up
"disgusting...tastes like cigarettes."
"you know that yet you stay. ill never understand you"
"i dont know either"
childe smiles as he sees your eyes struggle to stay open. "good night." childe says something in Ukrainian you dont quite catch on your way to sleep. when you wake up the only thing by your side is a bouquet of flowers and a post it
"thanks for all the letters i stole them from the kitchen counter. you ever clean around there? i think ill only be away for two weeks this time so expect me breaking in again soon. also i feed the cat some fish. he's fat.
ps i may of stole your perfume dont worry ill send some money to compensate once i get my paycheck
love, ajax"