Chapter Text
The loud clamoring of stuck up cookies who thought they were better than everyone else and plates slapping against tables were simply background noise to Shadow Milk. Not that he was lost in his own head, no no no. He was very sure on where he was and where he was going. He simply tuned everything but his own wonderful thoughts out. He was much too busy to care what was going on around him anyways.
"Busy with what?" You may ask. Busy planning his next big prank, of course. It was nearing the end of the year, which meant Shadow Milk had to pull out all the stops to really wow people.
This had to top his personal favorite, covering the office in apples and peanut butter; and be more baffling and unsettlingly organized than when he filled the school ankle high with sand. Glitter bombing was out of the picture because Shadow Milk hated getting glitter in his hair, and it was too close to his sand trick. Originality was scarce, but that's what made this all the more fun.
Sitting and muttering nonsense to himself, scribbling something down in his tiny notebook, then scratching it out had been all that occupied him for the past 20 minutes. Given that lunch period was only 30, he should probably actually eat his lunch. Taking a bite of his sandwich, he noted the bread was slightly soggy. Probably the result of mayonnaise. It was a simple ham and cheese, literally just ham and cheese. And mayo. Shadow Milk likes his ham and cheeses with mayo. No one can convince him mayonnaise does not belong on ham and cheese. Not like there really was anyone to stop him. He didn't have any friends to call his own. (I lwk don't own mayo we got whipped dressing round here)
Very few knew Shadow Milk was the one behind these stunts. Actually, it was only 2 cookies. Those two cookies were his ever so kind sidekicks in crime, henchmen if you will, Black Sapphire and Candy Apple Cookie. They're not his friends. More like acquaintances. Despite that, they're always there when he needs them, ready at his side. The two do dirty work with Shadow Milk at their own will, too, he never asked for help. The blue cookie never really knew why they did. It never plagued him much to ask in the first place. He was pretty sure they were either lonely or unemployed. Or both. Shadow Milk couldn't really talk as he was in the same boat. Now that he thinks about it, he's pretty sure Candy Apple is obsessed with him. Probably trying to get close to him.
School wise, Shadow Milk Cookie's favorite subjects involved the literary arts, Need help with an essay or a book report? He was your guy. He also enjoyed linguistic study outside of school too, so it was relatively fun and easy for him. A bonus. Just because he had a particular interest in the language field, that didn't mean Shadow Milk didn't excel in all his other classes too. In turn, the school won almost every academic competition involving him.
Despite being the prodigy he is, as said before, Shadow Milk does not have any friends. You may think he'd be bothered by this, but it's actually to his liking. Don't get it twisted, the cookie could handle social interactions just fine. He preferred to stay on his own. Even if relations and friendships with cookies did appeal to him, he'd also likely not make friends because of his mischief. If they found out that Shadow Milk was behind all the shenanigans happening in the school, that would be another loose end for him to tie up. Trickery wasn't fun if you got caught, that's the thrill of it. In his eyes, having friends wasn't practical, so he didn't have them.
The end of lunch bell rang loud enough to pull the blue cookie out of his thoughts, in which he swiftly packed his belongings up and made it to his next class. He wasn't in a good mood. Not because he couldn't finish his lunch, that was on him. What angered Shadow Milk Cookie the most is that he still had not even the inkling of an idea for his pièce de résistance.
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Walking into the science room, something smelled off. Maybe it was the stench of stuck up teacher's pets finally getting to him. Maybe it was the teacher's lab coat that was currently on fire. The world may never know.
Hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan... sorry it was stuck in my head i'll go back to the actual story
"AH!!!" the poor guy said in distress. Shadow Milk didn't move. He just sat and stared. The old fool got himself into the mess, and he was perfectly capable of getting himself out. Water goes a long way. Plus, he already had 3 students rushing to his side. That was 4 too many cookies Shadow Milk was willing to interact with. Shadow Milk made his way to his seat, and the commotion settled down just moments after the bell rang.
Everyone else went to sit down, awaiting instruction from the newly burnt cookie at the head of the room. There was an awkward beat of silence before he cleared his throat and began with lesson. Nothing much, just a repetitive, boring, speech filler filled lecture about cells. Shadow Milk wasn't really paying attention, he knew whatever assignment that was given, he'd pass it. What could he say? He was running a tight schedule and didn't have time for meaningless incessant YAPPING from someone who probably lied on their resume. Shadow Milk believes he'd be a much better teacher, but he has no interest in the field of education. His last nerve is thankful for it.
Shutting out his teacher's unceasing rambling, Shadow Milk continued his mental search for the perfect trick. Feigning engagement by aimlessly dragging his pencil across his notebook page, he secured safety from being called out for not being all there.
Shadow Milk needed something big, bold, flashy, showstopping, extravagant, and secretive at all the same time. And something that wouldn't hurt his wallet. Nothing comes for free of course, but money is hard to come by if you were jobless (which Shadow Milk indeed was). While the blue haired self proclaimed prodigy was committed to his work, that doesn't mean he was willing to sacrifice his free time for minimum wage. He may have been a man of many faces, but exhausted 16 year old McDonalds cashier was not one of them.
Somewhere amidst his day dream, his pen continued moving but his eyes drifted. When he finally snapped out his daze, he was making eye contact with some weirdo for who knows how long.
Shadow Milk stuck out his tongue and made a taunting face. He said nothing, because supposedly actions speak better than words. Harmless, right? Wrong. Since he was no longer looking at his "notes", the teacher noticed and thought it a wonderful time to call him out.
"You, the blue one in the back." He said, as if Shadow Milk was some everyday joe, or worse, a pest. That was spite on his name he wouldn't stand for.
"Do you have something you want to share with the class?" The disrespectful cookie inquired. Shadow Milk just sat, dumbfounded that he, of all people, was about to be scolded.
He did not stare blankly, no. He bore his gaze into the professor ahead of him like a squirrel in a staring contest. (Honestly squirrels staring people down is a weird sight)
Breaking eye contact after maximum 4 seconds by slowly closing his eyes and leaning back, he simply replied back with "No."
Shadow Milk was, by no means, a shy cookie. If the underqualified teacher wanted a show, he'd get it. And, in the event he couldn't handle the heat -pun intended - he should get out of the kitchen and leave it to the professionals.
"Then may I continue my lesson without anymore disruptions?"
That statement was particularly infuriating, as there were other cookies throwing paper airplanes across the class as they spoke; yet the old and probably geriatric fart wanted to hone in on him.
"Well, I don't know. Can you?" He deflected.
Shadow Milk had been to detention before. He was not an goody two shoes or a 'i'll put up with anything" quiet kid. He was waiting for any reason to go off on somebody. He loved a good argument. That being said, the amount of times he's consulted with the principal about his attitude was not a pretty number.
"You're testing my patience, young man." He clapped back at Shadow Milk, getting effectively egged on by a kid three times younger than him.
Shadow Milk hated being called 'young man'. Not when it was out of respect of course; but when belligerent and uneducated adults called him it in a condescending way. The mischievous cookie could go on for hours with the professor, snap back with "Yes I am, you're failing spectacularly!" - oh how he yearned to say such a thing - but he didn't. Instead he threw the teacher a look up and down. One that said "with all due respect, sir". The teacher lightly scolded him, more of his vexatious blabbering yada yada respect your authorities blah blah blah. After some slightly slanderous words against Shadow Milk Cookie's name that he would totally get the geezer back for, the 'lesson' - if you could even call it that - continued.
(The professor's name is Chocolate Wafer Cookie so it's Mr. Wafer; shadow milk doesn't like him and doesn't call him anything)
i'ma be so real i wrote the first chapter on paper and I'm just posting it to a03 so it doesn't get lost and- Huh? you want the rest of the story?
does that mean you're... enjoying the writing? Maybe even... enjoying the fic? WELL THATS TOO DAMN BAD (keep digging) I'M NOT TYPING THE REST OF TS
This fic isn’t finished fuck you go find something else to read you yaoi fiend