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This is how Peter dies. No he is not being over dramatic, Peter really thinks of all the things he’s had to live through twice, the fourth grade might be the worst.
“I don’t understand why I have to go, you know I’m smarter than them anyway” Peter valiantly tries to persuade Bruce.
“While I understand that chum, you are nine and need to have friends your own age.” Bruce is standing firm on this, he will not allow another child to drop out of school on his watch. Besides, he made Damian go when he was Peter’s age.
“But I’m going to have nothing in common with them and-”
“Peter I’m not trying to be the bad guy here but you have to understand something” Bruce pauses to make sure Peter is paying attention, which he very reluctantly is “You may not be from here and you very well might be smarter than these children but you have to keep appearances of a normal human if you ever expect to fit in. Furthermore-” Peter tunes him out after this. He might be the most stubborn and hyper independent teenage vigilante turned child on the planet but even he knows when he’s beat. Why Peter is nine instead of a more convenient age, like the one he was before coming here, he might never know. This age has cursed him with having to hang out with other nine year olds and their sticky hands and- at this he shivers- simple math. Peter is used to doing complicated equations on the fly while he’s web slinging or putting his deductive skills to work while he’s on a case. Now Peter is going to be reduced to the basics of long division and learning about the states of matter.
“What if they know I’m not like them?” it wasn’t something that Peter was actually concerned with but he was making a last ditch effort to get out of going to class.
“If that happens, and let's hope it doesn’t, then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Bruce really was trying hard to get him to go. Peter would feel worse about making a huge fuss but he’s about to be stuck in an intellectual wasteland for hours upon hours of his day. “Now, will you put on your uniform so we can get some breakfast?” Peter gazes at the uniform that was hung on his door handle- Alfred couldn’t get access to his room because of the web that took up all the space- and grimaced. Bruce had won this round but Peter would get his revenge one day.
“Did Alfred make waffles like he said he would?”
“Yes chum, you can have as many as you want so long as you get dressed and go to school.”
Peter gave him a defeated nod, grabbed the uniform and closed the door to get dressed. Once he was done he raced down stairs and into the dining room where the rest of the family was gathered. He noticed that Tim, Duke, and Damian all had the same uniform on. Huh He thought Steph was younger than Tim or maybe she just goes to a different school? Peter sat down in what has become his place at the table between Duke and Damian and piled waffles with whip cream and strawberries onto his plate. He received a disgusted snort from Damian, who had kept his simple with just a smear of peanut butter.
“Hey Pete, you ready for your first day of school? Got any questions? Concerns?” Steph was really leaning into the older sister role that she claimed on basically day one of knowing Peter.
“I don’t want to go. Bruce is making me” Peter wasn’t pouting but it was a close thing.
“He does have a thing with making sure we all get a “proper” education” She said as she stuffed a chocolate covered waffle into her mouth. Bruce just sighed and passed her a napkin while Duke mimicked wiping the corners of his mouth.
“He’s a little concerned about fitting in.” Bruce that traitor Peter really was going to get revenge one day. He’ll talk to Cheddar about it.
“Do not worry Parker, fitting in is irrelevant to your education.” It was sweet Damian was trying but Peter had the sneaking suspicion that he only liked Peter because of some of his more animalistic traits.
“He’s right, don’t worry so much about it dude. It’ll be fine!” Duke’s smile was bright and he thought it might be that way because he was in his last year of school, he got to be done in a few months but Peter was stuck for years. They all keep saying don’t worry, don’t worry but that’s not helping. All Peter can do is worry. Worry that this alien charade will fall apart, worry that this kind family will find out that Peter has been lying, worry that it will all be taken away from him yet again. There’s a tightening in his chest that Peter chooses to ignore for the moment. The last thing he wants is to be called dramatic for having an anxiety attack at breakfast.
“Alright young masters it is time to head out, please gather in the car.” Peter admires how calm Alfred always seems to be. Even when the others come back beaten and bloody Alfred is always there with a calm face and steady hands. Peter wonders what would become of this family if he were to ever leave it.
Nothing beats the humiliation of having to use a booster seat again. Peter is all of four feet tall and about 55 pounds soaking wet and therefore required to be in a booster seat. The second he saw it he considered just sticking to the wall and never coming back down. As it was, it did take quite a bit of coaxing that only worked because Peter didn’t want to make Alfred’s job any harder than it already was. He may be stubborn but he’s not a complete jackass. Sometimes.
The older children got dropped off first, Tim, Duke, and Damian all went to Gotham Academy. It looked beyond rich with the (hah) gothic architecture looming over the front gates. Peter wished he was following along with them, but no he had to go to fucking elementary school. Not even middle school, how embarrassing. When Alfred rolled up to the school he went straight to the parking lot instead of the drop off zone like he had at the high school. Alfred came around to the backseat and helped Peter get down from the car, not that he needed any help with it.
“Come along young master Peter, it's time to meet your teachers for the coming year.” Alfred didn’t technically need to do any of this. Walking in with Peter and meeting his teachers wasn’t in his job description. Peter wonders why the old man even bothers with him, he isn’t really a part of their family. He’s just some stranger that crash landed into their life and never left, even if they are all being awfully nice about it.
Alfred held his hand out for Peter to take as they crossed the parking lot and he’d never admit that he took it. This stays between the two of them forever. They stopped and let a few cars pass before pushing open the- to Peter- huge double doors at the entrance to Gotham Elementary. A gust of cool air greets the duo as they step into the front office for Peter’s schedule. They are greeted by a kind looking older woman and after a few minutes of polite conversation that Peter doesn’t participate in he receives his schedule for the semester. He didn’t remember the last time he had so many recess breaks in a day but he guesses that it makes sense for the age this body is supposed to be.
Alfred and Peter make a quick loop around to where all his classes are located and Alfred gets all the names of his teachers and their assistants. Alfred walks him back to where his homeroom for the morning is and bids him farewell. Peter goes to find where his assigned seat is and is pleased to find that it’s near the window in the back. He isn’t happy about sharing the table with five other kids if his count of the name tags is correct (and it is because he may be nine again but he sure as hell isn’t stupid). He feels a shift in his hair and reaches up to grab Cheddar to help placate the gnawing feeling that’s growing in his chest. The other kids start to filter in and Peter hides Cheddar in his desk so that he doesn’t startle anyone with the medium sized spider on his palm. The last thing he wants is for Cheddar to end up dying because he was too careless about where Peter brought him out. His desk mates are all chattering around him and Peter listens in on their conversations to see what's what in the world of children.
“Did you hear about what Batman did last night?”
“There was this episode of Star Mice this weekend where-”
“My mom grounded me because I wouldn’t eat my peas at dinner, isn’t she just so mean?”
On and on the kids went and Peter just couldn’t stand it. Talking about parents who are only trying their best, shows that have no relevant meaning, idle gossip about the man who takes care of Peter (not that these children know it). He chooses right then and there to be the weird silent kid if only that means he doesn’t have to participate in any of their talk. He looks around the room to see if everyone is like this or if Peter just somehow got stuck with the loud table. It used to happen all the time in his universe so it wouldn’t be that strange to him if it was happening here. His quick scan revealed that most of the tables were exactly like the one he was at, and if his enhanced hearing was to be believed their conversations weren’t all that different either. He catches sight of a kid, on the bigger side, huddling to himself at his table. The kid looks up and locks eyes with Peter before quickly looking away again. For a moment Peter was sure he had just been transported to when he had met Ned for the first time. He felt his breath catch and tears sting his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. Looking closer he could see the only real resemblance this boy had to Ned was his size and dark hair. The moment was over, and the bell had rung to signal the start of class.
Two absolutely mind-numbing hours later they break for their first recess of the day. It was more of a glorified snack time but Peter quietly pulled out his fruits, veggies, and rolled up meat slices and began to eat. A small thumping noise too low for any regular human to hear came from his desk. Peter sends a quick glance down and sees Cheddar thumping around searching for food. He looks around the room to make sure no one is paying attention to him before he tears a piece of salami off and feeds it to Cheddar. Peter smiles down at his little buddy and continues eating silently until classes start back up again.
The day just keeps dragging on and Peter can’t seem to want to pay attention to any of his classes. None of them are challenging enough to be interesting. He had moved beyond this content well before he was nine in his own universe, if he was bored then he might genuinely be dying now. At least he gets to be outside for a while now, the real recess had started and Peter was ready to hide away under the slide with Cheddar so he could be alone for a while. When he had reached the slide it became apparent that he wasn’t the only one to have this idea. He recognized the shoes peaking out from under the slide as those belonging to the not really Ned. No matter Peter wanted to be under the slide and wasn’t about to let some random child ruin his plans.
“Do you mind if I sit here with you?” Well he wasn’t going to be rude about it. The kid gave a short nod and Peter slid down on the opposite side of him. With his back to the jungle gym wall Peter cradled Cheddar close to his chest and ran a finger down his back. Cheddar gave a low chirp in response. The kid sitting across from Peter looked curious about what he was holding so Peter huddled a little closer into himself to protect his little furry friend.
“What’cha got there?” The kid had a pretty thick Gotham accent, Peter was a little worried about his reaction to spiders but his resemblance to Ned made him soften just a tad.
“His name is Cheddar and he’s a rabid wolf spider.” Peter winced the second the word rabid left his mouth. He hoped that didn’t set off any alarms with this kid.
“Hey Cheddar, I’m Ted!” The universe must be fucking with him. Seriously, Ted? What kind of cosmic joke is that? Cheddar either didn’t pick up on Peter’s faint distress or didn’t care. He scuttled over to get a better look at Ted and hunkered down on Peter’s hand.
“Hey Ted, my name is Peter-” He ran his finger back over Cheddar and held him out so Ted could see a little better “-Would you like to pet him?” Peter wasn’t going to just hand over his buddy but a gentle pet he could handle…Cheddar could handle it too. Ted nodded his head and from there the rest of the recess went peacefully. No one bothered them underneath the slide. The sounds of children playing and roughhousing went on around their little tranquil bubble.
That didn’t make up for the fact that Peter had to go back in and suffer through classes until the day ended. That tight feeling in his chest stayed with him all the way until Alfred came to pick him up. The others were already in the car and waiting for Peter when he got in.
“How was day one Pete?” Duke sent a grin over his way.
“Torture, do I have to go again?”
“Yes young master Peter, your education and social development are very important.” Well if Alfred was just gonna put his foot down like that what could Peter do? He’d make trouble for anyone else but bothering the elderly has never set right with him.
For the rest of the ride home Peter remained silent and contemplating. He thought about having to go back and let his brain turn into mush everyday for years. Remaining academically unchallenged and without peers who could match him in intellect. He thought about how long it would be until he could make a friend that would truly understand him. That might never happen because of his unique circumstances. He might have to hunt down an actual displaced alien in order to find someone with a hope of relating to his predicament. Peter thought about how he missed the people from his universe. They certainly weren’t perfect but they were his. MJ liked to sketch and read with him; they’d go out for coffee and discuss whatever it was they were reading at the time. It was like a very exclusive book club, except it was made up of only two people and every two months they tried to find the world’s worst book and argue about what parts were redeemable. He thought about Ned and how he understood Peter on a level no one else could truly reach. Ned was the first one to find out that Peter was Spider-man, he was there to help patch him up after a bad patrol or to cover for him when he was late to school. Ned was Peter’s best friend and meeting that Ted guy really made the absence glaringly obvious. It was like a piece of his soul was missing. There was no one to argue with him about the best Star Wars fight scenes, no one to help run diagnostics on stolen alien tech, no one to have a sleepover with, and no one waiting with the biggest, warmest hug Peter’s ever had. He staunchly refused to cry in front of everyone, especially Damian. He waited until the car was parked in the garage before running off into his giant web of a room.
Peter crawled all the way until he found his unused bed and crawled under it with the blankets. He couldn’t stop thinking about everyone he had lost. Deadpool and his stupid jokes, Daredevil and his shrewd advice, Tony and his mentorship, Aunt May and her burnt cooking, MJ, Ned, Pepper, Frank, Harry, Gwen, on and on the list went. With each name and associated memory Peter felt a stab of pain in his heart. He didn't even notice when his quiet tears turned into gasping sobs. He clutched his chest and curled further into his blanket. It could have been moments or hours that passed, Peter wouldn’t know, until a knock came from his door.
“Come in” his voice was hoarse and his head was starting to hurt. He must have been crying for longer than he thought. The door opened but Peter couldn’t see who it was through the thick webbing that made up his nest. A vibration came from the direction of the door. Someone was plucking a strand of his web. It was something the Bat-clan had taken to doing to alert Peter that they were there in addition to knocking.
“It’s Duke, I’d ask to come in but I don’t think I can.” Peter didn’t really want to see anyone right now, but these people took him in when they didn’t have to. He might as well see what he needs from him.
Peter silently dried his face and crawled his way to where the door was, he stayed in his web out of a feeling of safety and comfort instead of coming down to the floor.
“I just wanted to ask if everything was okay? You seem pretty upset.” Duke spoke in a soft voice that Peter recognized as the victim handling voice. It was the one he used when there was a startled child or especially worked up victim. It made Peter’s hackles rise in defense. He was not some scared child hiding in the closet from a spooky monster, nor was he inconsolable. He just had a bad day, he thinks that should be allowed.
“Everything’s fine.” He just wanted to go back under his bed and turn away from his thoughts. If he could just stop thinking for a little while everything would be just perfect. Maybe.
“I don’t think it is fine, you’ve been locked in your room for three hours.” Duke was searching Peter’s face, and he must not have liked what he found if the tightening around his eyes was any indication.
“Did something happen at school?”
“No, not really.” That wasn’t a good enough answer and Peter knew it. He just didn’t want to talk about it yet, maybe never.
“Do you just want to take your mind off of it for a while?” Duke must be a mind reader or something. Peter nods his head and Duke motions for him to follow. They reach the downstairs TV room, the same one Peter had pranked Dick in.
“What game would you rather play, Super Smash Bros or Mario Kart?” Both were easy games that didn't require much thought but Peter felt like the colors of Mario Kart would feel better right now and so he said as much. They played in silence for a while before Peter slowly started getting into the competitive spirit of things. Before he knew it an hour had passed and he didn’t feel that sharp ache in his heart anymore, there was still a rather empty feeling, but it was slowly being overshadowed by contentment at just being here with Duke.
Duke had paused the game and turned to Peter “Are you ready to tell me what happened? You don’t have to but it might help.” He looked so open and honest that Peter wanted to try, he thought that his friends and family back home would have wanted him to try.
“There was a boy in most of my classes… He reminded me of someone from back home-” Peter takes in a shaky breath “I guess it just made me realize I’m never gonna get that back.” Duke couldn’t pretend to understand losing your whole world, but he did understand loss, everyone in the family knows it intimately. Luckily it makes them equipped to help out in situations like this.
“I bet that sucked, what do you think your friend would have said about it?”
“He would think it’s so cool that there’s practically another him running around.” Peter felt a fond smile grow on his face. For the first time today the thought of Ned didn’t make him feel like he was dying.
“He sounds cool.” Duke was trying his best to be open and help direct the conversation somewhere helpful. It’s always tricky because it feels like there are landmines everywhere and you can’t see them. All he could do was stay in hopefully neutral territory and lend a listening ear if Peter was willing to take it. Duke let his hand fall on the couch between them and Peter started fidgeting with his fingers without paying any attention to what he was doing.
“He was cool, the coolest. He gave the best hugs.” Peter couldn’t say more without getting choked up again. It’s not like Ned or MJ were dead, just gone. In a place where Peter can’t ever reach them again. He shakes his head to remove the thoughts plaguing him. He starts to say something else but then Alfred comes in and informs them that dinner was about to be served.
“...Thanks, for helping me and listening.” Peter didn’t want to be ungrateful, but he also didn’t want to acknowledge his breakdown.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m here for you if you have a bad day, we all are.” Duke sent a smile at Peter and hesitated before ruffling his hair. Peter sent a glare at him and tried to smack Duke's hand away. Duke laughed as he ducked out of the room to clean up for dinner. He looked at Duke’s silently retreating back and found himself grateful for everything he’s found in this universe. It was a bad day and he’s going to have more of them but at least he knows there’s someone to hold his hand if he needs it.