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A goodbye is something heavy. It means that we’ll be leaving the ones dear to our hearts behind. Such is the fact that is well-known to Earthlings.
For someone that’s not good with these – with her mother figure that she sees dying when she was 6… Kana Arima wasn’t the best with goodbyes, and this has stayed true for my whole life.
“Goodbye, Kana. I’ll see you on the other s-”
Sayonara, Akane. I’ll miss you, my friend.
As I laid on my deathbed, it got me wondering… Is death supposed to be this vivid?
I can still… feel myself. I mean, as much as my frail body allows me anyway.
…But then, something strange happened.
A tree.
An apple tree.
In the middle of this wide space, I see it.
Someone’s sitting on the branch, too. Someone… with a pair of wings? They look different, though. The left looks… bony and pristine. The right… looks majestic and… leather-y?
This person is defying any and all logics of Earth.
However, as I approached… them…
“...!”
“You look surprised.”
Someone… Or, rather, a group of people were sitting there, too. They were at my blind spots originally, so their appearances caught me off-guard. The winged human, too…
She feels like she’s somewhat decayed, despite looking as healthy as everyone present there. Still, if something was to tell me who she is, then it’d be her hair. Because, tell me…
Who else apart from Kana Arima has her hair that red?
“...Yeah, well. Is this afterlife?”
“Not quite, Kana-chan,” Akane(?) answered. “It’s like some sort of a limbo, before we can continue on.”
“Wait, what? Continue?”
“Right! I mean, you may notice that… You, me, everyone else present here… Aren’t what you’d call a “human” human.”
“So, then, care to guess what you’d become, me?”
…No, no, no!
“...No! Anything but monsters! I c-can’t do this!”
“Rude,” another voice shot me down. It was a gentle voice, yet in her tone, I can feel like it has gone a bit cold. “I guess they don’t call you “The Genius Child Actor Who Can Lick a Flying Snitch” for nothing.”
“C’mon, Ai-san…?”
“Just noticed me?”
“No… Not really. It just… you were dead, for, like… 70-80 years?”
Frankly, this was confusing. Someone who I genuinely looked up as a mother figure, in the absence of my own… Alive and well, as far as I can tell.
“Thanks for keeping track of that. But, yeah, no… We’re not monsters. In the Earth we’re in — in which you’ll also be transferred to… We’re all humans, like you presently. As your current manager, I can’t say I’m surprised. You never changed, in all of the good ways.”
“T-Thanks? But, what about… I heard from Ruby that your soul was supposedly deleted? Right, Ruby…?”
“I’m Aqua, you dunce,” a sharp voice abruptly cuts through the air.
“A-kun, who are you… Huh?”
Who are you calling a dunce?
I was gonna ask Aqua that. My curse, my crush, my everything…
But, the words were stuck in my throat.
“What? Never seen a girl before? Here’s a hand mirror, catch.”
“Aqua… Why…”
“Why not? At least we get to break free of our old images… Or so that’s what Mother claimed.”
“For the record, I’m not saying girls are less violent than boys, I’m just saying that if you loathe your old self so much, then become a new one – literally.”
“Hold on… We?”
“...I’m not spoiling you or anything, but do you see that Elf standing over there?”
She… looks to be an Elf, like Aqua. Though, unlike… her… She doesn’t have any visible traits of Kitsunes, or Vampires.
…Wait, don’t tell me… She’s… She’s…
…No way, right?
“You know, Kana… You’re pretty quick on the uptake, just like the Kana Arima I loved.” Akane praised me. It sounded a bit teasy, but it also sounded genuine all the same.
“If that’s the case, then why is… she… here? Am I going to die again?”
It’s a realistic question, being face to face with a murderer and all, but…
My spine chilled before I even got the chance to react. A blade inside her cane is already around my neck.
“...If I were to try, you’d be dead in 2 seconds max. Don’t accuse people willy-nilly.”
“C’mon, Hikaru-san, you’re scaring me,” the me from the future spoke up, with a slight chuckle.
“Old habits die hard.”
“So, what’s going to happen to me?”
“Well, you enter the cycle again, I guess. But, we’re here just to tell you what you’re really capable of. It’s those bastards from above restricting us from our fullest potential, but I’ve since deseated them. No one apart from us will be responsible for our decisions,” Aqua said, looking pretty happy and satisfied. “I still can’t forgive that fucking… Crow. But, hey… the past is the past, moving on.”
“Anyway, my dear Kana Arima… Just know that… I’m sorry. I cannot provide you with the comfort you would’ve loved, and I can only do so much as a friend. I wish I could’ve done so much more, but my indecisiveness got in the way.”
Right…
“Look, Akane, this is all I’ll ask of you.”
“...”
Psh!
That was the sound of a meaty slap. One where I most likely will regret forever.
Akane just slapped me.
“Get the FUCK outta here! What do you mean you wanna date me just so you can feel what it’s like to be in Aqua’s shoes? Maybe go date his sister or something.”
“...Bold of you to assume I haven’t tried that. She also slapped me, though. Something along the lines of ‘I’m my own individual and besides, I’m not half the human Aqua Hoshino was.’ Yeah, something like that. Then she slapped me again, before chasing me out.”
“Fuckin’ deserved. Why not try with Taiki-san, then? He’s Aqua’s big bro, is he not?”
“...No matter how hard he can try, he’ll only be half of Aqua.”
“Kana. Kana Arima. If I were Taiki-san and I heard that, I’d have snapped real hard. He NEVER wishes for that other half of his! You- You moron! You can’t just say that!”
I still can’t let them go. Memories of you, A-kun… I can’t let them go… Because, who else will remember the you who lived? Miyako-san? Ichigo-san?
But, whose memories are the most accurate? No one can tell that. And so… I’m going to live, not for the sake of you, but for the sake of myself who you’ll always be proud to have standing side by side.
“Listen! Kana Arima… You’re not like this. The you I know… The Arima I know…! She’s dazzling, always looking forward to the future, even in her worst moments! Besides, I won’t let my memories with Aqua-kun be tainted by you!”
…She’s right.
Our memories of A-kun are not one and the same, so it’s better if we never learn more than we knew.
“...Sorry, Akane… And, thank you… For snapping me out of my delusions.”
“Arima-san, won’t you consider-”
“No. Now, please leave. I-I can’t do this…”
That makes the 55th one… Fate’s cruel.
“...A-kun… I-I’ll hold on a bit longer…”
…For that I hope I’ll be reunited with you in the afterlife.
During Kana Arima’s golden years, it was estimated that at least 70 people of all gender identities were rejected by her.
At least, that’s what the news reported. I never kept track of those, because I don’t want to remember… Or, rather, I do not want to be irrational and do something I’ll regret like what I did to Akane and Ruby.
If salvation is real, please heed my pathetic call.
“...Guess that wish did come true, huh? Anyway, Akane… I’m also sorry. I misplaced my feelings, and unintentionally hurt you in the process. Ruby… is she even here?”
“There’s a bat on my shoulder. Guess who,” nonchalantly said Kamiki-san.
…I see how it is.
“Ruby.”
“Hm?”
“I hereby apologize for trying to lessen your individuality and comparing you to A-kun… or should it be A-chan?”
“Whatever, I’m fine with both.”
“...Also, I accept. Memories are wonderful things, and you didn’t ruin your own memories about Aqua, so I’m glad. That’s all I ever wanted from you.”
“...Wait, is Taiki-san even here?”
“Well, Taiki’s absent today, actually. Voice acting gig.”
Aw, that’s a shame. I wish I could clear everything before I go.
Wait…
“Does this mean… I’ll get that piece of shit as my m-”
“...Who knows? All I know is that… If she ever mistreats you, you can scamper to us. Your memories and constitutions are more than enough for that. You’re like 1/16th Lich, by the way.”
“Damn, really? That’s some strong bloodlines. In fact, I can feel myself getting stronger.”
“Not to ballbust, but that’s just you going from an old woman to a young woman again,” Aqua joked.
“Aw… But, oh well… Thanks. And, please tell Taiki-san that… I’m sorry for what I’ve said about him, even in private.”
“...I’ll relay it, me.”
“I’ll be off, then.”
“Anything for the camera before you go?” Ai-san asked me.
To be honest, getting another shot at life… I can’t say I’m that excited, considering my life’s a bit of a mess-up soap opera. But, hey, future me looks happy, so I’ll probably be happy too! Probably…
“...Me.”
“Ya?”
“Tell me what I’m made of.”
“1/16th Lich. 3/16th Vampire, Pixie and Fairy each. And, lastly, 1/8th Human, Ghoul and Kitsune each.”
Damn, a Ghoul?
“So, I won’t be able to eat anything but human flesh?”
“Ew, prejudice. Hate to break it, but I can eat all sorts of things. Cakes, hamburgs, coffee, taiyaki… the list goes on and on.”
“...I see!”
Well, at least I’m pretty optimistic now.
I don’t know what this future will hold for me, but if it’s not predestined, then I’m pretty excited to see what happens next!
“So, this is where we part ways, huh? A-kun…”
“Ya?”
“...I’ll win your hearts this time, mark my words.”
“O-Oh. Well, g-good luck,” she said, faintly blushing in process.
…Heh, Akane, look at me- Wait, wha?
Akane’s also blushing? Something ain’t right.
“...What are you looking at?”
“N-Nothing! Anyway… I’ll go now! Thanks for the tutorial session, everyone!”
“Good luck, and have fun!”
“Seriously, Aqua… You could’ve said that we’re in a polycule.”
“...She’s probably gonna have an ethereal heart attack if she heard that, right Kana-chan?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“Onee-chan, you womanizer.”
“You’re in one of the polycules, don’t make me laugh. Mom? What’s so funny about this?”
“Nothing? I just think young love is beautiful!”
“...Yeah, and you have the whole B-Komachi 1.0 and… Uh, I guess I’ll call her Papa like how she wished.”
“Whatever, papa or mama is fine. As long as I’m acknowledged, I’m fine with it.”