Chapter Text
How do you miss someone you've never met? How do you hold someone who's never been held? How do you deal with an Addams?
Eugene wished he'd found out before there were two of them, because with more of them, came an even blurrier picture. Pugsley Addams was a stark contrast from the tidal wave that was his older sister, but a storm of his own, nonetheless. He smiled, laughed, and shared information about himself, something that had to be pried-and nearly tortured-out of Wednesday. It was clear that despite his unwavering positivity, the family unusualness still took a toll on him and affected him in ways he didn't even realize. His eating habits were one of the things that Eugene likes to think he noticed first.
He'd been around plenty of different types of Outcasts, and no matter the curse given to them, eating dead rodents and bugs was never something that seemed to be a side effect-especially not with something as tame as electricity. Eugene had rarely seen Wednesday eat-he always assumed that maybe she preferred to eat alone, it definitely matched up with her mysterious aesthetic-but these days he was wondering if she even ate at all. While there was nothing he could do about her, he could try to find some way to help Pugsley's odd habits. (He's still not his friend, no matter what anyone says or what it looks like.) It seemed Pugsley ate anything and everything he could find, Eugene was actually a bit surprised his first thought wasn't to eat Slurp-though, maybe it was, he never knew when it came to the other.
Pugsley's morbid fascination with pretty much anything considered 'taboo' was one of the things that not only concerned Eugene the most but almost always ended up with him also in trouble for somehow falling into the place of a partner in crime, even if he swore to himself it wouldn't happen again. Despite his roommate's clear mental instability, he didn't find himself fearing for his own life, but rather for Pugsley's. It seemed that he didn't think twice about any decision he made, that he didn't think about the outcome before he chose to go and do something, that maybe he didn't even care, and that scared Eugene to death. What would he do if that idiot got himself killed? What would he tell Wednesday? Mr. and Mrs. Addams? What would he do with himself? He'd rather not know the answer to any of those questions-which is why he continuously involved himself where he knew he didn't belong, where he knew Pugsley wanted him to be. (Maybe that's why any sort of relationship between him and the boy made his stomach churn and his heart twist, because Pugsley just fucking expected it.)
He assumed that maybe this was how Enid had felt for the past year, and he made a mental note to himself to talk to her in the near future and see if she had any advice for the weird set of siblings. Then again, Wednesday was an entirely different case from her brother, it seemed that the two had almost nothing in common besides their genetic history and deeply disturbed childhood-but then again, Eugene had to grapple onto what little he had. (Did he really have to? No, not at all. So why did he feel so fucking obligated to help?) Lately it hadn't even been the entire getting gutted experience that had usually kept him up at night-it had been Pugsley of all things-and the boy slept like he'd been dead for years. It bothered him, it bothered him a lot, because who did Pugsley think he was to keep him up at night over hypothetical situations? Everything about the pale skinned boy grated on Eugene's nerves horribly. (Even if he couldn't possibly control the thoughts inside his head, it was still very much his fault, thank you.)
Their studying session had been going seamless for almost an entire hour, until Pugsley got out of his chair and twisted the doorknob to leave-immediately sending a wave of panic coursing through Eugene. "Where are you going? You can't possibly be done already, dude, you didn't even do any last night." Pugsley turned around with the same oblivious, yet overwhelmingly knowing look on his face-fuck, he wanted to punch that look off his face. Or kiss him hard enough until he was too stunned to make it again. "I'm going to go check on Slurp, he hasn't been fed in awhile, I forgot to get his mystery meat earlier." That goddamn zombie would be the death of him-maybe literally. Eugene couldn't get over the way Pugsley looked at him like he hung the stars and moon-eyes full of so much adoration and trust that it made him nauseous. He looked at him like he was precious, special, like he was his, and it made something dark and painful climb up his throat-swallowing it before it could lunge itself at the other.
"You shouldn't go alone." Desperate much? He immediately regretted the words-wanting to grab himself by the shoulders and shake some sense into himself-but the way Pugsley's eyes lit up? Yeah, he was done for, there was absolutely no getting out of this now. (Not that he would actually commit to getting out of it anyway.) "That thing's dangerous." Pugsley's smile faltered for a second-but the light in his eyes never faded. "He's not a thing, and he's not dangerous, just misunderstood! You'll grow to love him, c'mon." He was definitely growing to love one of them. He sighed tiredly, adjusting his too big glasses before shutting his textbook and following behind the other-opening the door and shoving past him-trying desperately to swallow the acidic feelings clawing their way into his already toxic mouth. The trip to the shed wasn't uneventful, but Eugene would rather block out Pugsley's insatiable rambling. (If he listens, he may not want to stop, which could be a problem.) There was something about watching Pugsley feed the rancid creature so tenderly that tugged on Eugene's heartstrings-how he looked at the rotting corpse with such empathy, understanding, and happiness. It made Eugene sick in an entirely different way that Pugsley usually did-usually he was sickened by his need to be accepted-but now he was sickened with the gentleness he displayed knowing damn well he couldn't have possibly gotten enough-if any-of that growing up. Why did the thought of Pugsley's upbringing make his eyes burn the same way it did when he'd watch sad movies? That wasn't fair-Pugsley didn't deserve that, not when he was so clearly fine. (Eugene couldn't help but notice how he decidedly wasn't at the same time, though.)
Why did such a sweet, friendly person make Eugene want to puke and sob at the same time? Why did someone who so desperately wanted to get to know him and befriend him hurt him so badly? It didn't make sense-he shouldn't feel this way, that he knows for a fact. Pugsley hasn't even done anything blatantly wrong-he's been a bit insensitive, but how could he not be after everything he's grown up around? Getting gutted for him was probably the equivalent of a Christmas present-another thing that makes Eugene have to bite down on his already abused tongue to stop either bile or tears from forming, another thing that he doesn't understand in the whirlwind of confusion and chaos that is Pugsley Addams-God forgive him, his whirlwind that is Pugsley Addams.