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Eddie took a deep breath, looking himself over in the mirror again.
He was starting to feel ridiculous. He was on outfit number four, but it still felt wrong. The last thing he wanted was for his date to think he couldn't dress himself.
It was just... he was still getting used to being able to dress how he liked again. His ex had controlled almost every aspect of Eddie's life, including what he wore. Even though they'd been broken up for almost a year, Eddie still found himself fighting against that voice in his head.
He sighed softly, looking over his outfit. He tugged on the short sleeves of the black shirt, the top button undone to help him look a bit more casual, like he hadn't spent four hours planning and changing his outfit. The shirt had started tucked in, but now it was untucked, just barely covering the waistband of his khaki pants, the soft corduroy a contrast to the texture of his shirt. His shoes, which had been changed more than once, were a new pair of white Vans that he'd settled on. He'd started with his nicer shoes, but they definitely were too nice for the little cafe where he was meeting his blind date.
"Alright, Eddie." He sighed, shaking his head as he held eye contact with himself. "We got this... It's just one date... that's all Chimney asked for." He shook his hands at his side, then turned and walked out of his room.
"O h, okay ! " Shannon, Eddie's ex-wife, gasped, looking him up and down as he came into the living room. She was sitting on the couch with Chris, their 6-year-old son, watching Cars on the TV. " And uh... why couldn't you have ever dressed up like this for me ? " She winked, and Eddie rolled his eyes, smiling.
"H ush, you. So ... it looks okay? " He asked, smoothing his shirt again.
"E ddie, " Shannon laughed, standing and walking around to tousle his hair a little bit. Eddie softened, leaning into the comforting, familiar touch. " Relax, okay? It's just a blind date. If you really don't like the vibe, you can leave. Absolutely. "
"I know... I know ... I just... " He sighed, shaking his head as he looked away. " I want it to work. " He bit his lip, heart aching a bit. " I-I want to like it... " Eddie looked back at Shannon, and she softened, smiling softly.
"I know, Eddie. " She squeezed his hand. " You've got this, though, okay? I mean ... I know you don't really know this Chimney guy outside of basketball, but he wouldn't set you up with an asshole, would he? "
"N o... I uh ... I set myself up with assholes... " Eddie laughed bitterly, turning to the table to grab his keys and wallet.
"Edmundo." Shannon scolded, expression hardening. "C'mon now... we talked about this. Tommy was not your fault. He's a narcissist, and he manipulated you into seeing what he wanted you to see, okay? It's not your fault."
"I -I know... " Eddie sighed, turning to look at her again. " I know, but it's just hard to... to believe that, you know? I mean, Shan, " He gestured to the couch where their son, the light of Eddie's life, sat. " I let him into Chris's life, and I didn't even know who he really was. What kind of father does that make me? "
Shannon opened her mouth to respond, then sighed, shaking her head. " You and I both know that I don't have an answer for that one- " She lifted her hand to stop Eddie from jumping in, his mouth closing as she continued. " But you know who would? " She quirked an eyebrow almost teasingly. Eddie groaned, tipping his head back to look at the ceiling.
" D on't say- "
"Your therapist." She nodded, patting his chest twice. "Now, stop whining to me and go on this date. Just... forget Tommy for the next few hours and give this guy a real chance, okay?" They held each other's gazes for a beat, Eddie debating texting Chim to tell his guy not to bother showing up. "I swear to God, Eddie, if you're thinking of cancelling, I'm going to drive you there myself." She said sternly.
Eddie chuckled, nodding his head as he put his hands up in surrender. " Alright, alright. I'll go. " He walked around the couch to smile at Chris. " Hey buddy, I'll be back later, okay? Mom and I have a fun surprise for dinner. "
"P izza? " Chris gasped, eyes sparkling behind his glasses. Eddie chuckled and shook his head.
"N o, not pizza. But you know what? " He winked at Shannon, leaning down to whisper to Chris. " I bet if you give your mom your best puppy dog pout, she'd tell you where we're going. "
Chris giggled, pulling his blanket up his chest to hide his smile as he nodded his head. " Okay, Daddy. "
"T hat 'a boy. I love you. " Eddie kissed his forehead, patting his curls affectionately.
"I love you, too, Daddy. " Chris grinned up at Eddie, then leaned around him to keep watching the movie. Eddie chuckled and walked to the door, glancing back at Shannon.
"Y ou got this. " She gave him a thumbs-up, smiling.
"T hanks, Shan. " He took a breath, then walked out the door to head to his truck. It was a nicer day out, a light breeze making it feel cool. Eddie started the truck and rolled his windows down, that voice returning , telling him to roll the windows back up because ' I don't like the way I have to yell for you to hear m e ' . As if he didn’t yell anyway.
He put in the address that Chimney had given him, a spot chosen for the date. He had apparently gotten his Captain's help finding a place that Eddie and the mystery guy hadn't been to. Something about “ neutral ground .”
According to the GPS, he had 10 minutes to hype himself up.
He wanted this, he reminded himself. Chimney had been begging Eddie to let him set him up on a date for months ... and Eddie had finally let him. He was trying not to regret it.
He turned the music on, a song that Tommy never " understood, " and breathed in deeply, trying to clear his head. He still swore, despite Shannon telling him otherwise, that Tommy’s cologne still lingered in the truck. And right now, he felt like it was all around him, so the smell of mid-morning Los Angeles was a welcome change.
He stopped at a red light, the cafe just down the street, and took another breath. “ You’ve got this, Eddie… It’s just one date. You can get through one date. ” He ran his hand through his hair, glancing at the cafe as he parked on the street across from it.
The cafe was tucked between a florist and a bookstore, like it bridged the two of them; it looked like it was pulled straight out of one of the period dramas that Shannon liked and Eddie pretended to hate.
Vines were growing along the side, which seemed so odd for LA, Eddie almost wondered if they’d purposefully grown them to make them creep up the side of the building. There were a couple of tables outside, though no one sat at them yet. Their sign hung beside the door with weathered gold lettering that read Petal & Page Cafe.
The stores on either side of the cafe had the same look to them , and matching signs that read Petal & Page . The florist had flowers hanging from the awning, a stand with a ' build your own arrangement for $ 20' sign, with a bunch of different flowers and even vases you could choose from. The bookstore had one of those little libraries out front, with a handwritten sign: ' Trade a story with a strange r' .
Eddie smiled softly, shaking his head. Truly, he would've never gone there, especially not with Tommy ...
He shook his head to clear the thought and crossed the street. It was still cool, the wind blowing gently and making the flowers swing slowly. It gave Eddie a chill, and he wished, just for a moment, that he'd thought to bring a jacket. That is, until he walked into the cafe.
The little bell rang as he entered, and the barista welcomed him cheerfully. It was warm inside, not the kind of warm that felt suffocating after a while, but the kind that came from the smell and the atmosphere of a place more than the actual temperature.
The smell of freshly baked pastries, brewing coffee, and the flowers from next door was the perfect mix of comforting and nostalgic that Eddie hadn't expected.
The cafe itself felt like the perfect mash of the petals and pages part of Petal & Page , respectively. Books lined one of the walls, and each table had a little flower arrangement. The whole place was lit with a soft yellow light, with fairy lights around each window.
Eddie looked around at the patrons, looking for the guy. Chimney had told him he would be wearing a blue sweater and that he had light brown curls and that ' you'll know him when you see hi m', which had just kind of confused Eddie.
Until he spotted the guy.
He was wearing a sort of dusty blue sweater, the sleeves pulled up on his forearms, a white shirt underneath, and showing just at the collar. He had navy pants on that seemed like maybe they were too tight, hugging his legs as he sat at the table, leaning in , reading a book.
Eddie was struck almost violently with the realization that the guy had arrived first. He hesitated, unsure for just a moment, but long enough that the guy had looked up and noticed him.
Eddie sucked in a breath. The guy ... well, he was beautiful. Bright blue eyes that popped and a smile that could've powered the lights in every house across the state. He was huge too, just ... a big guy. Eddie wasn't necessarily short, but the guy was still taller than him. He definitely worked out; his large biceps were even visible through his sweater.
The thing was ... even though the guy looked like he could bench Eddie without breaking a sweat, Eddie got the impression that he was more of a gentle giant. He waved awkwardly, wiping a hand on his sweater, and Eddie couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face then.
Eddie walked over and cleared his throat. " H-hey, I'm Eddie and you must be.. ?"
"O h! I-I'm Buck. " He flushed, flashing that smile at him again. Eddie tilted his head at the name, and Buck caught it. " It's uh, a nickname that started in the academy. " Buck moved around him and pulled Eddie's chair out for him. " I was going to order for you, but uh, I'm not good at guessing someone's drink, and Chim kinda gave the impression that you aren't a... sweet coffee guy. "
Eddie stared at the chair in amazement, heart stuttering in his chest. He knew it was the bare minimum, but it still ... it felt nice. Tommy hadn't done anything like that before, had never even really opened the door for Eddie.
They both sat down, and Buck smiled sheepishly. " So uh... h-how much did Chim tell you? "
"W ell, he told me that you were wearing a blue sweater, you had light brown hair, and that he was head over heels for your sister. " Eddie nodded his head.
"O h... okay, he'd been making it seem like he'd told you all about- " Buck froze, eyes going wide. " H-he just implied that... he'd kinda told you stuff I didn't want you to know quite yet... " Something flashed in his eyes then, something that Eddie recognized from his reflection in the mirror.
"Well, no. He didn’t tell me anything.” Eddie shook his head.
“Okay, good. He uh… he didn’t tell me anything about you either. So… how do you know Chim?”
The conversation, much to Eddie's surprise, flowed pretty easily after that. They talked for a while before either of them even went to the counter to order anything.
Eddie watched with amusement and awe as Buck ordered three different pastries, a coffee, and even paid for what Eddie ordered ... and then tipped the girl way more than 20%. Eddie didn't know who Buck was, but he couldn't help but soften at how big the guy's heart was.
They talked about how Buck and Chimney met, how they worked together on the same team, and Buck even explained how Chimney was like a brother to him before his sister and Chimney started dating. Buck was very fond as he talked about how close everyone was, about how they felt like a family and had each other's backs.
Eddie talked about Eddie's team, too. About how they didn't exactly feel like a team anymore, though he left out the part about his nasty breakup and his ex leaving the team.
"S ometimes I think about transferring out, but I just don't know... there's always that chance that it doesn't work well and then I'm out of a job... " Eddie took a drink of his coffee, watching Buck soften.
"W ell, I mean... yeah, there's that kind of chance with really anything but... I-I mean it's not the same but you took this chance with me - I mean, a blind date and you don't seem like it's going too bad... "
" I t's not, " Eddie said quickly, and he was surprised to find that he actually meant it, that it wasn't just something he was saying to placate the big guy. Buck grinned, his cheeks flushing, and he chuckled, looking away for a moment.
"A h, good. " He cleared his throat and looked back at Eddie, his stomach fluttering as his brown eyes locked with Buck's blue eyes. " Well... if I'm being honest, I've burned through like... five partners in the last year alone and I think my Captain may be trying to find me a new one... " He paused, looking at Eddie, looking nervous again. " He's looking for someone that I could mesh really well with. "
Eddie smiled softly, feeling endeared to him. " I... just may take a look into that, Buck, thanks. "
"Y eah, of course. " Buck chuckled softly, nodding his head.
Eddie lost himself in the conversation again after that. Buck was easy to talk to. The longer they talked, the longer it felt like Eddie had known him for. They moved on from talking about work to talking about hobbies, and Eddie said something that made Buck just absolutely die laughing.
He tipped his head back, hand on his chest, his laugh echoing off the window they sat beside; the whole nine yards. The thing was, Eddie didn't even think it was that funny- Tommy certainly wouldn't have. It felt nice to have Buck laugh at his joke like that. And honestly ... Eddie would've done anything to hear Buck's laugh all over again.
So he did. He told Buck jokes and told little embarrassing stories about himself just to get a laugh out of Buck. And he did. Every time.
It was intoxicating, really, the warmth that fluttered around his chest with every smile, the way his heart stuttered, and the grin that spread on his face from Buck’s pure joy. He loved the feeling.
Eddie had spent the last eight, almost nine, months thinking that he’d never find love again- like Tommy had taken every little bit of it with him when he’d slammed his door and stormed out.
But sitting there, with the ray of pure sunlight that is Evan Buckley, Eddie started to think that maybe … just maybe he could watch something start to begin again.
It had been almost two hours already, and Buck had gotten them both another drink, and they’d settled at their table again. Piano Man by Billy Joel started to play, and Buck chuckled softly as he shook his head.
“Y ou know, ” He set his drink down, leaning against the table, flexing his arms and making Eddie’s cheeks flush as he gazed at him. “ While this is one of the most popular Billy Joel songs, Summer, Hughland Falls is by far the best. I mean, I have all his CDs and I started collecting his vinyls too, now that I’m settled . It’s just- that song, man. It hits different. ” Buck smiled, shaking his head slightly as he looked at Eddie.
“Y eah… I mean, that’s a great choice. But uh… ” Eddie smirked, taking another sip of his new coffee. “ I think that Goodnight Saigon is the best. ”
Buck sat back, eyebrows lifted in surprise, but his smile didn’t falter. “ Wow… I u h… I-I’ve never met a guy who likes Billy Joel the way I do. ”
Eddie shrugged. “ Yeah, well… Goodnight Saigon speaks to me, you know ?”
“Y eah, I get it. It seems like something you would connect to, brotherhood and- and the soldier thing. ” Buck nodded his head, his smile still warm.
“I … didn’t say I was in the military? ” Eddie tilted his head, confused.
“ I ’ve worked with enough guys who were ex-military to notice the look. You all have it. ” Buck gestured to Eddie, and he glanced at himself. He was still sitting pretty straight in his chair, angled to keep an eye on both entrances to the cafe.
“R ight… well… yeah, I was in the Army. Did my ten years and got out. ” Eddie looked at the table, spinning his cup in place. “ Didn’t know what to do when I got back, but… I wanted to help people and that camaraderie again, so when uh… ”
He thought, for just a moment, about mentioning Shannon, glancing up at Buck. But he decided against it. It wasn’t worth the risk of scaring Buck away.
“W hen I moved here, I saw something about the fire academy, and I joined up. I’m still in my probationary year, though. ” He looked up at Buck again, worried to see something like pity, but found awe instead.
“W ow… I mea n… I thought you were pretty cool before, but the Billy Joel thing a-and then the hero thing… ” He chuckled again and shook his head. “ You can have my back any day, Diaz. ”
“Y ou uh… You can have mine too, Buckley. ” He chuckled, biting his lip and glancing away from the bright smile Buck gave him. It took his breath away, and he didn’t want to risk making a fool of himself.
All together, they were at the cafe for four and a half hours before Eddie sighed and rubbed his hands together. “ Thank you so much for this, Buck. It’s u h… It’s been great. Bu t… I’ve got to go. ”
“O h! Yeah, for sure! ” Buck nodded, rubbing his hands on his pants. “ It’s been… I … well, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date this great. ”
“Y eah… me too. ” Eddie smiled softly. He stood up, and Buck followed suit, pulling his phone out.
“C -can I get your number? I … well, if you don’t end up joining the 118, I’d still like to be able to see you again. I-if that’s what you want, I mea n… I don’t - well, you don’t have to… ” Eddie looked up at him and frowned slightly. Buck looked … nervous, like truly nervous for the first time since Eddie had known him.
He wondered how nervous he’d been the whole time, if Eddie had spent the entire date missing tells he didn’t know to look for. He thought back to the way Buck had been shifting in his seat, the little rants he would go on that would stop abruptly. The almost intense eye contact before the hard correction into no eye contact.
Buck had been just as nervous as Eddie had been.
“O f course, Buck. ” He nodded, reaching out for Buck’s phone. He put his number in quickly, then handed it back to Buck, watching as the relief settled on his shoulders. “ You better text me. Especially if you remember what that movie was that you wanted to tell me about. ”
“O h, definitely. ” Buck chuckled sheepishly, smiling at his phone before tucking it in his pocket. “ Well… I’ll walk you out then. ”
“Y ou don’t have to- “
“N -no, I know, and feel free to tell me to fuck off, but… You know, I u h… I want just a little more time with you… ” There was that nervousness again. He was adorable.
“ I ’d love that, then. ” Eddie brushed his hand against Buck’s , smiling softly.
“P erfect. ” Buck laughed sheepishly, walking out of the cafe with Eddie. Buck held the door open for him, and Eddie walked through, cheeks flushing as the smell of Buck’s cologne enveloped him.
They walked in silence for a moment, Eddie taking the long way by walking down the street to cross at the crosswalk rather than just straight up crossing the street. He thought back to post-date walks with Tommy, the silence that followed then hadn’t felt like the silence with Buck did.
Eddie opened his mouth to mention it, to finally bring up his piece of shit ex-boyfriend, but Buck spoke first.
“Y ou know, Christmas is coming up soon. ” He glanced at Eddie. “ I-I don’t know if you’re one of those people who get pissed off when others skip Thanksgiving, but… I prefer Christmas. Thanksgiving was always… ” He scoffed softly, shaking his head. “ Awful. ”
“I uh… I like Christmas too. ” Eddie chuckled softly.
“Y eah? Cool. I u h… I always liked the Christmas lights, specifically , like driving around and looking at them. But my sister used to take me to her friend’s house when they did Christmas movies. ” Buck went on about the little traditions they’d started and how Buck had done his best to keep them up while they were apart.
Eddie could’ve spent the rest of the day talking about Christmas. He wanted to hear everything he could about it. He was animated, using his hands as he talked and glancing over at Eddie a lot .
They crossed the street and headed back toward Eddie’s truck, Buck’s rant coming to an end. “ Did you uh… did you take the long way to get to your car? ” He chuckled, glancing at him.
“Y ou- I- yeah… ” Eddie laughed softly, looking up at Buck. “ Turns out I uh… wanted to be with you longer too… ” They stopped beside the truck, and Eddie turned to face him. “ Thank you again. For everything, Buck. It was amazing. ”
“Y -yeah… uh, no problem. ” He smiled at Eddie, and this time Eddie didn’t look away. He held Buck’s gaze and just basked in the warmth and the light from Buck’s smile, finding himself smiling too.
“I look forward to hearing from you again, Buck. We’ll have to do this again. Soon. ”
“Y eah, very soon. ” Buck’s hands fidgeted at his side, and he cleared his throat. “ Wh-what are your thoughts on uh… on- first date kisses? ” Buck’s cheeks were flushed, and Eddie could feel that his looked similar.
“O -oh uh… I-I… ” he glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck. “ I typically don’t - “
“O h, yeah, no for sure. I understand- “ Buck said quickly, taking a step back. Eddie stepped forward quickly before the space between them could grow any further, taking Buck’s hand.
“B ut I can make an exception for you. ” Eddie’s voice was soft, but firm. He watched as Buck relaxed again, his blue eyes softening.
Buck leaned in first, cupping Eddie’s cheek gently, the soft touch sending shivers through him. Their lips connected, soft and warm, and Eddie’s stomach exploded with butterflies.
Everything around them faded; there was nothing but Buck and his touch. The way his hand still held Eddie’s face like it was a treasure to cherish, his other hand snaking around Eddie’s waist and pulling him slightly closer.
They broke apart too soon, pulling back but not enough to leave too much space between them. Eddie’s hand was on Buck’s chest, his other on his arm. His heart was racing, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss Buck again … but something told him that there would be more to come.
“T hat was uh… wow, ” Eddie said, feeling pretty lame . But Buck laughed, not like he was making fun of Eddie, but fondly.
“T hank you. You’re not too bad yourself. ” He reached up and brushed the stray hairs out of Eddie’s face, smiling softly. “ I’ll see you around, okay ?”
“U h- uh, yeah. Definitely. ” Buck chuckled, leaning in and pecking Eddie’s lips again before taking a full step back. “ Bye, Eddie. ”
“B ye, Buck. ” Eddie gazed at him a moment longer, then turned and got in his truck.
After eight months of hating life and not believing in lov e… Eddie could feel the start of it all over again.
And he was happy to let it happen with Buck.