Work Text:
Reyna sighed as she slipped her armour off her strained shoulders, wincing as they cracked and ached. Today’s work and training was finally over, and she felt like she deserved a break. Everything had been piling up recently, and she’d barely gotten any time to herself or rest.
Changing into a pair of shorts and her favourite purple shirt, a more comfortable and suitable outfit, she made sure she was alone and snuck out of her room, jogging towards Camp Jupiter’s newly built library. Thankfully and as suspected, she was the only one there, and the rows of novels waiting for her to unravel would be hers and hers alone tonight.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Praetor. So we meet again.” Thalia Grace held her hand out to her, which she shook, shaking her head as she grinned.
“It’s Reyna. I’m not praetor any more, remember?”
“Right. Old habits die hard.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
The Hunters of Artemis had stopped by yesterday, and although they would be leaving Camp Jupiter once more in around a couple days, Thalia seemed to be insistent on staying another month. She didn’t reveal the reasons to anyone, but Reyna respected her and her work enough to not pry.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Not a lot of Romans or demigods in Camp Jupiter liked to read much, so Reyna was usually the only one in the library at any hour of the day, which she would spend browsing and curled up in her favourite large armchair, which was conveniently placed next the adventure and romance sections. Of course, although her heart sometimes ached reading the characters experience true love, something that she knew she would never get to experience herself, she obsessed over the plots and emotional crises the authors put their characters through.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Meanwhile, she’d picked up a little habit, that once she had started, couldn’t stop. Now, before leaving to the library, she always pocketed a pencil, just in case.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Reyna had started writing in the corners of the pages. A couple words and underlined moments that eventually turned into full sentences scrawled into the margin in neat letters.
Can’t she see the red flags? Gosh
Oh my gods I love him so much!
NO DID SHE JUST DIE?
Thank god okay false alarm
Ahhhhhh the ending was so good!
Why isn’t there a third book yet? I can’t wait that long!
I love this moment so much
I ship Alistair and Gavin so much
Nooooo
She betrayed him??? What?!
Victory!
Hey, her name is Thalia too! Coincidence!
Take that you little-
Hannah is so oblivious about her love for Lily
Take a hint!
I love his sarcasm I just laughed uncontrollably for ten minutes
Those small notes made her feel like she was actually talking to somebody. Maybe if it wasn’t for Venus and her stupid curse, she could actually have a somebody. Not watch all her friends experience the feelings she could never feel herself by the sidelines.
Sighing, she put down her book on the small table next to her chair, knowing it would still be there the next afternoon. It was getting late.
She should sleep.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Stripping down to her undershirt, she threw her armour onto the bed, frowning as she noticed it wasn’t made, the sheets in a clumsy pile next to her lopsided pillow that threatened to fall onto the floor. That wasn’t like her. Oh well. Noting the sweat running down her temples and sticking her clothes uncomfortably to her skin, she groaned as she realised that she definitely needed to shower. She’d gone a bit too hard with training today, which she’d done with Thalia. The need to beat that certain girl felt kind of weird, like the summersaults her stomach did whenever she caught sight of the Hunter’s breathtaking face breaking into a smile.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Picking up her book where she'd left it, she flopped onto the armchair clumsily, cursing when the paperback stumbled out of her loose grasp. Crouching down and picking it up, her bookmark fluttered onto her lap. Great, now she'd lost her page too. What a great start. Flipping through the novel in an attempt to refind her chapter, she suddenly blinked in surprise as the bright blue of ink flashed against the dark letters and beige pages flying before her eyes. Turning back a little, her breath felt caught in her throat as she skimmed the two sentences in the margin, one written in pencil and the other in pen.
They should break up, I have a bad feeling about them
I agree, they're such a toxic couple.
She flipped to the next couple pages.
This battle scene is like so exciting!!!
Yeah but there's too much dialogue and not enough description for the fighting.
And again.
What on earth am I reading
Yeah lol isn't this kid friendly?
She ignored the pounding in her head and leaped out of her chair, breaths frantic, and ran down the rows of bookshelves to find the book she’d read and finished yesterday as well. She searched for her favourite moment in the book. Page 143. (Don't ask her why she knew the number. Bookworm things.)
This scene literally made me cry. I wish I could be loved like that.
Ar
They had started to write something… she knew they'd seen it. What made her write that? It was too emotional, too raw. Like another of the tight knots that secured her unwavering mask to her face had been untied. But they didn't know that much. It was fine. They didn't know.
And neither did she.
Because who in the name of the Gods was answering her random scribbles?
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
It had been about a week since it started and the notes kept coming. Over and over. She would write in her usual pencil, leaving the book on her chair, and she always managed to find an answer the next morning. But not once did they let anything slip about their identity.
She kept on trying to find out who was replying to her, crossing out possible candidates every passing day at lunch as she watched the legionnaires eat and chat, all whilst keeping up a conversation with Thalia. They’d really gotten close this past week, and Reyna couldn’t understand why her face turned red around her, and why she always laughed a bit too hard at the Hunter’s jokes. Still, the secret person answering her remained unmasked.
It was eating her alive.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
The smoky figure of a beautiful woman shimmered in front of her, smiling brightly. She was absolutely stunning- a bit too much, in fact. Maybe because she wasn’t real. Or the lady was, in a sense. She tried to speak, or move, run- anything- but she felt frozen in place with her voice caught and muted. Everything was blurry, like tears were welling up in her eyes and unfocusing her vision, but she couldn’t blink or wipe them away, and they couldn't roll down her face.
“Ah… Reyna. I have not much to say. But know this: No demigod will ever heal your heart, and you will not find love where you wish or hope.”
What does that even mean? She has to get out. She knows who this is. Venus. Her throat doesn’t feel as constricted anymore, but when she retorts back, she sounds raspy and desperate. She shouldn’t. She mustn't show weakness, especially not now.
“What do you mean? What does that mean? I don’t understand…”
“Whether you understand or not doesn’t matter. As long as you know.”
The girl’s—Venus’—face contorts into a scary grin, and she dissolves into powder with a final mocking laugh that sends chills through Reyna’s body.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
She wakes up in an instant, the echoes of Venus’ evil taunt still ringing in her head. How dare she. Even after all this time, it still haunts her, and she hates it. Too much. She shouldn’t be this affected. Unsuccessfully attempting to wipe off the sweat collecting on her skin, to still the shakiness of her breathing and the trembling of her hands, she turns over again, and closes her eyes.
It's just nightmares. What’s the big deal?
Again. She should sleep.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
She can’t sleep. She’s tried blanking her mind, closing her eyes, burying herself under the covers—nothing has worked. Instead, it just seems to make everything so much worse. At this rate, she knows any chance of rest is doomed. She’s given up trying at this point. Getting up and slipping into a jacket, not bothering to change out of her pyjamas, she grabs her pencil and a torch. Since she’s awake, she might as well go to the library.
Walking across the eerily empty paths and fields, she curses at the unfairness of how although she can’t seem to fall asleep in the least, she still feels drowsy and dizzy, feeling tired in a way that makes her want to go to bed. But of course, she can’t do that, can she?
It’s funny how that works. Like she’s stuck in between two things, sleeping and being awake. Somehow, but not surprisingly, it’s worse.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Her bare feet soundlessly padding across the cold marble, she rubbed her eyes, which still hadn't adjusted to the dark of the night. Suppressing a groan as she finally reached the section near her favoured armchair, she turned around the corner to suddenly stumble back in surprise, her back hitting the surface of a bookshelf with a loud thud, eyes widening as she gripped the wood to steady herself.
There was a dark figure sitting on her chair, and she could make out the faint outline of a book and pen in their hands.
It was them.
The person got up the moment they caught sight of her, and bolted, running faster than she'd thought was possible.
“Hey! Wait up!”
But they were already gone, and the only trace or evidence they'd left behind was the blue ballpoint pen that rested on the open page of the book she’d left on the table yesterday after having finished it.
It was also the only thing, the next morning after having woken up with a horrible headache, that convinced her last night wasn't a dream.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Thalia lay next to her, blowing a small bubble of gum as she pointed to the clouds passing up above their heads. The grass tickled Reyna’s back as she shifted against the ground, raising her eyes to the tuft of white in the blue sky that the Hunter had gestured to.
“That one kinda looks like a book.”
“It's just a rectangle.”
“Exactly!”
Funny how she thought of a book. It’s a good thing, though, of course.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Hey Thalia! What did you want to ask me again?”
“Oh yeah, do you know any stationery shops in New Rome? I wanna head there to buy a couple supplies to keep me occupied.”
“Sure!”
Why stationery? What for?
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Thalia went and bought a notebook, pencils and an eraser. But she did also buy a blue ballpoint pen. Now that she thought of it, very much like the one the mystery person had left and lost their own the night they almost got caught.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Can I see some of your drawings?”
“I wouldn’t call them drawings.”
“What, doodles?”
“Nevermind. Besides, they’re personal.”
“They can’t be that bad. And I paid for that notebook and pencil, so…”
“I’ll pay you back!”
“Come on, stop avoiding it!”
“Fine. One of them. And that’s it. Here.”
“Wow! That’s actually really good. What’s that- Reyna? Why did you write my name?”
“Oh… I was drawing you.”
“I’m flattered, but I don’t think I look that good in real life.”
“Nonsense, you look plenty amazing.”
“So do you, Grace.”
“Whatever Avila Amira-something- okay, you know what, forget it. I can’t remember your last name, much less pronounce it.”
As they laughed, her eyes drifted back to Thalia’s portrait of her, with her name scribbled right under, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d seen that handwriting somewhere before.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Jeez Praetor, where were you? I waited for fifteen minutes!”
“Don’t call me that. And sorry I totally forgot, I was busy…”
“Reading?”
“How did you know?”
“Oh, you mentioned it once.”
“Oh. Yeah, I must have.”
The theories didn’t stop, and neither did the small hints pushing her to what she knew with a sinking feeling in her gut was the right direction. But she just had to be sure.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“You look horrible.”
“Gee, thanks. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
“Oh? What were you doing?”
“Nothing much. Just writing, stuff like that.”
Writing, did she say? What, like scrawling little replies to her notes in the margins of the library’s books?
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Reyna could be a little ignorant at times, but she most certainly wasn’t dumb. She wasn’t denying it- Thalia had been the one replying to her. Who else? She knew it was. The ballpoint pen, the references to reading, the way the mystery person talked, the handwriting… It all added up.
But now, she just had one last question left unanswered.
Why?
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
It was a little after midnight, and she crouched behind one of the library's many bookshelves, eyes patiently watching the entrance to the library for any sign of movement. Nothing. She'd been here for around fifteen minutes now, and her legs were going numb from squatting for so long. Now all she-
Wait. A creak echoed through the building as the double doors eased open slowly, and she held her breath, like her pounding heartbeat was louder than the sharp sound of the figure's boots against the polished floor as they walked over to her armchair, where her latest read lay open. The moment they sat down, she sprang from her spot on the cold marble and ran over, almost stopping in fright for a second as the person fumbled for a weapon they then realised wasn't there.
“Stop where you are!”
They froze, and as the stone set into their silver circlet, that wrapped around their forehead, caught the moonlight filtering in from the library's large windows and glinted, she knew her suspicions had been correct.
“Hello, Thalia.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“You knew the whole time, didn't you?”
“I wouldn't give myself that much credit. I suspected eventually. You weren't exactly subtle.”
“Well you didn't really see it coming, did you?”
“No, I didn't.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Why did you, actually?”
“Do what?”
“Reply to me.”
“I don't know.”
“Liar.”
“Of course.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“I like girls.”
“What?”
“I like girls.”
“You mean like…”
“Yeah.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“No idea. Just wanted you to know.”
“Oh. But aren't you a Hunter? You guys are supposed to remain maidens.”
“I mean technically we're only supposed to dislike boys, so…”
“Oh. Yeah okay. You sure?”
“Nope. I just don’t care.”
“I don’t think that’s very smart. Or safe.”
“I’m fine. Does… does it bother you?”
“What? No! I'm, well, bi. Actually.”
“Oh. That's cool.”
“Why are you smiling so hard?”
“Nothing.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“I haven't been honest with you.”
“Hm?”
“I have… a curse.”
“What?”
“From Venus.”
“Venus… You mean Aphrodite?”
“Yeah. Goddess of love.”
“Gods I hate that woman.”
“Careful! She'll hear you!”
“Nah. I’m invincible, remember?”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“You never finished telling me about that curse of yours.”
She froze beside Zeus’s daughter, but then relaxed and turned to face her. “You’re right. I didn’t.”
“What happened?”
“I… Venus once told me: ‘No demigod will ever heal your heart, and you will not find love where you wish or hope.’ Real fun, am I right?”
There’s a curt moment of silence before she gets a reply.
“It haunts you.”
Reyna opens her mouth, frowning slightly, before her jaw goes slack and she sighs. Thalia’s electric blue eyes are calm, and unwaveringly holds her gaze, waiting.
“Yeah. It does.”
They don’t talk about it again until a while later.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Praetor?”
“Yeah?” She doesn’t even complain about the incorrect nickname anymore.
“Can I tell you a secret of my own?”
“Sure.”
“I like someone.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. But I don’t know if they like me back.”
“How could they not?”
Both of them don’t notice that the other likewise refuses to meet their eyes, for different yet similar reasons all the same.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“I hate my curse.”
“Huh?”
“I hate it. So much. It’s just not fair! It’s not…”
She doesn’t know when was the last time she cried, especially in front of someone else. It feels refreshing, like she’s been trapped in a piece of tight clothing that suctions onto her skin, making it burn and sweat, and she’s finally just changed into a loose thin shirt.
“Hey, you’re okay.”
“Sorry. I just-”
“You have nothing to apologise for. Everyone has to let go in a while.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?”
“Don’t play dumb.”
“Yeah. I kinda do.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Do you know how hard it is? To watch everyone else get into couples, to watch those you tried to love reject you for someone else? Knowing you have no one to turn to but yourself? The curse doesn’t seem so bad at first glance, but I just… want to have somebody to love. Someone to love me. Because I know that no matter who I love, they’ll never love me back.”
“I… never saw it like that.”
“Nobody else ever did.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Sorry I trauma dumped onto you earlier.”
“Nah, you’re good. We’re quits now. I told you about my mother, remember?”
“That’s different.”
“No, it’s not. Everybody’s got problems, and none of them is less or more important than another. Everybody deserves to be loved, and everybody deserves to be helped and recognised.”
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“Hey Praetor.”
“You just kissed me.”
“I know.”
“You just-”
“I just kissed you.”
“You can’t just go back to drawing like it’s no big deal!”
“It is no big deal. Just like your curse. I’ll show Venus and everyone else that nothing is ever going to stop me from loving you. And that’s final. Now please say something before I embarrass myself.”
“I love you.”
“Yeah, that works too."