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Bright, brilliant light washed over Changbin, bathing him in color, the sound swelling around him at the same moment– an act cleverly designed by the production team, no doubt, but it was effective nonetheless if the tug behind Changbin’s belly button was anything to go by. The euphoria swept over him in time to the beat of the upbeat pop song currently testing the speakers of the recently built venue hosting the concert. Changbin was glad there was a barricade in front of him, holding him up because he was sure if it hadn’t been he’d already have slid to his knees and Jisung– most likely Changbin’s favorite person in the whole world who was currently jumping and screaming next to him– would have had to scrape him off the floor.
Changbin didn’t know what caused him to turn and look over at the stairs leading to the sections above him. Divine intervention, maybe? Whatever it was, Changbin turned his head just in time to catch the sight of– Him. Him, the prettiest human Changbin was certain he’d ever seen in his life. Long, lithe, with a razor-sharp, almost comical grin stretching his face, eyes nearly disappearing as he laughed at something the person next to him said. Why were they always laughing? Changbin thought, erroneously, feeling every inch like the dopey protagonist in some 2000s romantic comedy who’d just caught sight of the main love interest for the first time. However, he couldn’t deny that any of them were less than correct, because Changbin couldn’t tear his eyes away until the guy–pink, then purple, gorgeous– had disappeared from his sight completely.
The bass thrummed through Changbin, crescendoing as the lights blinded his eyes and he couldn’t see anyone anymore, let alone the person he’d already dreaming about building a future with. He had to find that guy.
“Wasn’t that incredible?!” Jisung shouted at him, though Changbin could barely hear it through his ringing ears. He grinned his response and followed his best friend out of the venue, the night air crisp against his sweaty skin and in his lungs. “That was insane!” Jisung whooped into the night sky, attempting a jump and stumbling hard into Changbin. “Best show ever, amirite?”
“Best ever,” Changbin echoed, trailing off as a flash of something grabbed his attention just off in the distance, to the left of Jisung’s shaggy mop of curls. Something he knew instinctively to be that guy, even though nothing in his current field of vision reminded him of the man he’d only glimpsed for a few moments inside.
“What’re you looking for?” Jisung asked next to him, always at Changbin’s elbow, as steadfast as the sun rising in the east.
“Nothing,” Changbin replied, distracted, frustrated. He knew he’d seen him again, if only the crowd weren’t so thick–
“Okaaaay,” Jisung said slowly. “You’re looking awful hard for nothing. Hey,” he grabbed Changbin’s elbow, jolting him out of his thoughts. “Wanna go to Shake Shack? I saw one next street over as we were walking to the venue.”
Changbin sighed. His mind must have been playing tricks on him. The guy was nowhere to be seen. “Yeah,” he said, turning to face Jisung. “Sure, why not? I haven’t had Shake Shack in a minute.”
Jisung grinned. “Me neither. Come on, my treat since you paid for the tickets.”
“Okay,” Changbin agreed. He couldn’t resist a glance backward, though, at the steadily clearing street. Nothing. He held his elbow out for Jisung to take. “Let’s go.” Jisung’s hand on his arm was warm, familiar, and it grounded Changbin like it always did. “But only if I can get mint choco.”
Jisung’s look was full of disgust. “Hyung, you’re the worst.”
“You’ll still want a sip, though, won’t you?”
“Ugh… you know I will.”
Changbin grinned.
–
Shake Shack was packed, as expected, so they ordered their shakes to go and sat outside, smushed together at a tiny round table pushed against the brickwork. “Man, I kinda missed these,” Jisung sighed nostalgically before taking a noisy sip of his banana pudding milkshake. Pulling the straw out, he sucked the milkshake out from the bottom and then proceeded to tongue the length of it, his mouth covered obscenely in yellow goo and whipped cream.
Changbin grimaced, grossed out and yet still somehow endeared, which was a usual way to feel around Han Jisung. “Now who’s the worst?” he muttered to himself before turning his attention to the street in front of them, idly watching people as they passed by. It was nice to decompress a bit from the overstimulation of the concert, his ears still ringing some from being surrounded by a wall of sound for hours. Compared to where they’d just been, the everyday noise of the city seemed quiet in comparison.
A laugh caught his ears, and Changbin turned his head, following the sound of it; his eyes widened as he gasped. “There he is!”
The same shaggy hair, the same foxlike grin– across the street, leaning against a railing. It had rained during the concert and now the city looked extra sparkly and neon, framing the mystery man who’d so completely caught Changbin’s attention in detail.
“There who is?” Jisung craned his neck, trying to see over the crowd. “Who’s got your attention now?”
“No one,” Changbin shook his head, but he still hadn’t torn his eyes away. He watched the guy laugh, head tilted back, full-throated, throwing his entire body into it, and Changbin was charmed. He was so pretty it genuinely made Changbin’s head hurt. He was so pretty he didn’t even seem real.
“Who’s pretty? That guy?” Jisung pointed, crashing into Changbin’s thoughts. He hadn’t meant to say that part out loud. Jisung’s face screwed up, eyebrows drawing together. “I guess? He’s okay. Hey, hyung,” he grabbed Changbin’s forearm, “want a sip of my milkshake? It’s so good.”
Changbin barely heard Jisung, shaking his head minutely. “Inna minute,” he murmured, finally making up his mind. This was his chance, he could recognize the universe doing him a solid when he saw it. “I’m gonna go talk to him,” he said decisively, standing up. “Watch my shake.”
“Hey– wha–”
Changbin made his way across the busy, pedestrian-filled street, bowing at the one car that meandered in front of his path, keeping the guy from the concert in his sights the entire time. He lurched to a stop at the curb, realizing belatedly that he had no idea what he was going to say once he got in front of the man. That was okay, though, he thought, divine providence had gotten him this far, he was sure his brain would come up with something brilliant to say. Any moment now.
Aaaany moment.
The man clocked him from a ways away and watched his approach, his smile dropping into a quizzical expression that made Changbin think he should probably reshape his face into a more pleasant one. Was Changbin glowering? Goddamn it, he probably was. Changbin affixed a smile and hoped it didn’t look equally as scary, though the raised eyebrows on the dream man didn’t assure Changbin that he’d fixed anything. “Um…” the man said softly, his friends turning to look weirdly at Changbin too. “Can I help you?”
Changbin wanted to say so much. You’re so pretty I want to put you on my wall like a painting, or, I want to commit your mouth to memory so it stays with me forever. I want to know what you look like when you’re happy, or even when you’re mad. I want to be the reason you smile. I want to share my milkshake with you– Changbin shook his head. No, that wasn’t right, he only shared milkshakes with Jisung.
Changbin opened his mouth to say all of that, and more, and–
–and nothing came out. Damn it. “You– pretty,” he squeaked out, feeling his face go hot.
“Uh…thanks?”
Since the ground had ungraciously not swallowed him up where he stood, Changbin only nodded, skirted a short, but deep and apologetic bow, and immediately turned on his heel and booked it out of there. He had never humiliated himself so thoroughly before. His tongue felt thick and stupid in his mouth. He was usually so confident, so assured of himself. What the hell had just happened back there?
Jisung was exactly where Changbin had left him. Changbin more than expected him to be laughing at him, but Jisung was quiet. He patted Changbin commiseratingly on the back and handed him his shake, and together they gathered their things and took off for the bus station.
A few minutes went by before either of them spoke. “You alright?” Jisung asked softly, handing Changbin back his milkshake.
On reflex, Changbin folded Jisung’s hand into the crook of his arm, like he always did. He grimaced. “Yeah, m’fine. Just a bruised ego more than anything.” He stared down at the pavement in bafflement. “I just couldn’t believe I froze up like that. I never freeze.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I freeze all the time.”
“You do not,” Changbin scoffed.
“I do! I do, all the time! You just never know about it because–” Jisung shut his mouth so quickly Changbin swore he could hear it click shut, and swiveled to face forward again.
“Because what?”
Jisung shook his head.
Changbin stopped walking, grabbing Jisung’s wrist to halt his movement, too. “Jisung, because what?”
Jisung stared at Changbin for a long moment, too long, his face screwed up like he’d eaten something weird. Changbin was almost at his wits’ end. What a strange ending to such a beautiful night. “Jisungie, please don’t be like this,” he said, his voice going up in a cutesy whine, trying to lighten the situation because he just hated how heavy everything had gotten all of a sudden.
“God, hyung, please don’t,” Jisung muttered, “or I’m gonna–”
“Gonna what? Huh, Jisungie? What are you gonna do?” Changbin wheedled, even more saccharine, ducking down and trying to poke at Jisung’s flaming cheeks. “Do you want Changbinnie to stop? Do you–”
Changbin never finished what he was saying because instead Jisung lunged forward, smacking Changbin’s mouth with his own in a kiss so quick Changbin wasn’t even sure it had even happened. Changbin was so stunned he didn’t even register what had happened until Jisung had backed up and was squarely walking away from him, his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders up by his ears. “Hey– Jisung!” he shouted, chasing after him when he refused to turn around or stop. “Wait!”
He grabbed Jisung’s arm again, gently coaxing his hand back into his own. “What was that?” he asked, as gently as he could, because Jisung looked like he was two seconds away from bolting down the street again. “Hey– I’m not mad,” he quickly clarified at Jisung’s screwed-up, red face, at his chewed-up bottom lip. “I just want to know what’s going on.”
Jisung looked for a hot second there like he was about to explode. And then, he sort of… did?
“I love you,” he burst out, so fast Changbin needed a second for his brain to catch up.
Damn his brain’s slower processing speeds. He could never keep up with quick-witted Jisung and– “What?”
“Nevermind,” Jisung said waspishly, jerking his hand back, but Changbin wouldn’t let go. “Hyung,” he whined, tugging on it.
“You love me?” Changbin asked blankly. “Like, in a friend way? Or something… more?”
“You think I would get this squirmy if it was just as friends? Do you think I would care about you running after other guys if it was just as friends?” Jisung scoffed, looking away but not before Changbin saw the tears sparkling at the corners of his eyes. “It’s not like it’s a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”
“It is a big deal. Jisung,” Changbin softened his voice and his hold, threading their fingers together, bringing them closer. “How come you never told me?”
Jisung waved at the street behind them, at the boy that had so captured Changbin’s attention, now lost to the crowd. “Gee, I wonder why. Why don’t you, I dunno, go share a milkshake with your pretty boy?”
“But I don’t want to.”
“Huh?”
Changbin licked his lips. He needed to get this right, or he was going to mess everything up. “When I went to go talk to that guy. All I could think about was how pretty he was–” Changbin could see the visible clenching of Jisung’s jaw, and rushed on. “All I could think about was that even though he was so pretty, I could never share my milkshake with him. Because I only do that with you. I only want to share my milkshake with you, Han Jisung.” Jisung barked out a watery laugh, and Changbin brought them closer, wiping a thumb under his eye, delicate. He held up his melting mint choco milkshake. “Do you want to?”
“Do I want to share your milkshake?” Changbin nodded. “And to be clear,” Jisung’s teeth finally let go of that plush bottom lip. “We’re not just talking about milkshakes here, right?”
Changbin chuckled, reaching out and thumbing that lower lip. He may have wanted to commit that other guy’s lips to memory, because pretty, but he wanted to kiss these for as long as Jisung would have him. “Usually I’m the slow one,” he teased.
“Hey!” Jisung said, indignant, but Changbin didn’t give him a chance to protest any further. Nope, he gave him something better to do with his mouth. Like kissing Changbin back.