Work Text:
The ice cream shop stood at the end of the street, terracotta flowerpots flanking either side of the entrance. Tenten had heard about the shop from her parents, knew a former shinobi and his wife opened it less than a month ago. A chalkboard sign outside advertised killer ice cream with the message flanked by shuriken and kunai to reinforce the pun.
Cold air wafted out from within the store, almost caressing Tenten’s hot, sweaty cheek. Rock Lee and Might Gai must have been roasting inside their polyester jumpsuits, whatever moisture wicking and air circulation properties Gai claimed they had. With the late summer sun at its afternoon peak, even the droplets of sweat beading under Tenten’s arms seemed to instantly evaporate into a sticky mess. A strawberry sundae with chocolate fudge sauce, sprinkles, and whipped cream did sound appealing.
“Ice cream sounds good,” Tenten ventured to her teacher and teammates. “What do you say?”
Her wallet freshly flush with cash from her last mission payment, Tenten could afford a fleeting indulgence. Neji, Rock Lee, and Might Gai also had their cuts from the mission stowed in their pockets, fresh from the same mission she'd just completed that morning.
“Shinobi must remain in peak health, and such unhealthy diversions should be considered sparingly – if at all. I would advise you strengthen your powers of self-discipline, Tenten. If you wish to make jounin as I have, that is.”
Neji’s crisp, aristocratic voice sounded from beside her. The stilted cadence of his responses and the formality of his language had a way of making his answers sound all the more dismissive. All the more ridiculous, too. Jounin or not, a cup of ice cream wasn’t going to make or break the hokage’s decision to promote her. Tenten drew her lips into a thin line so she wouldn’t answer his dig at her insecurities in kind. Some sweetness on his tongue would do him good, Tenten thought. Something other than the sour pickles he's always apparently sucking.
“I agree! But once in a while, having a treat is not a bad thing,” Lee interjected. “Tenten is right that a reward for a job well done is entirely appropriate once in a while.”
Tenten and Lee exchanged a quick smile, eliciting a disdainful sniff from Neji. In the brief twitch across Neji’s face, Tenten sensed a hint of jealousy – or maybe it was resentment that he’d been excluded from a joke at his expense. Maybe she shouldn't have so quickly dismissed the rumors that he favored her with a desiring eye. Regardless of Neji Hyuga's unspoken romantic aspirations, the Hyuga genius wouldn't win her over with disdain for her human weaknesses.
“You two may do as you wish,” Neji said. “I, for one, will abstain.”
“Now, Neji," Gai began. "It wouldn't hurt you-"
"Hm."
Their teacher sighed and shook his head at the pavement. Even Gai-sensei wasn’t immune to the air conditioning and sugary smell of waffle cones cooking on the iron. Tenten peered to her left to see Neji’s face turned to the park on the opposite side of the street, his shoulders stiff. Her Hyuga teammate had to admit that a sweet treat following a weeklong mission wasn’t entirely repulsive. The richness of chocolate ice cream paired with the cocoa’s hint of bitterness would surely be his undoing.
"Treat’s mine, team!” Gai declared, to Lee’s whoop of joy. “You performed impeccably over the past week, and our client had nothing but praise for us.”
“Thank you, Gai-sensei! Your generosity and goodwill shall not be forgotten!”
Lee rushed to embrace his teacher with a tackle, almost knocking him into an old woman’s shopping basket. Heat rushed to Tenten’s face as she muttered an apology to the woman.
“That’s really nice of you, Gai-sensei," Tenten said, once the disgruntled old woman shuffled on. "We all appreciate it.”
Neji grunted. Whatever his annoyance that Tenten saw fit to speak for him, Neji respected authority enough not to express ingratitude for his teacher’s gift. Tenten saw a tiny window for victory, if she could convince him to try a little taste of ice cream. Just a lick wouldn’t devastate his physique or metabolism, she’d say. If he then refused to place his health in further jeopardy, none of them would force him to eat more. Not that they'd probably need to coerce him whatsoever.
He could even spit the ice cream into a napkin if he found the taste that unpleasant.
Gai and Lee ordered a banana split to share, while Tenten left the counter cradling her strawberry sundae. The teenage girl scooping the ice cream shrank back when Neji met her what would you like with a scowl. Tenten once again found herself playing the apology game on behalf of an oblivious teammate.
Team Gai found a booth by the window, positioned for a prime view of the river. Neji filled a cup from the water fountain in the corner and sipped with his chin held high. Tenten would have laughed at her teammate if she didn’t already bristle with annoyance at his usual snobbery.
“I’m disappointed that one of the hidden leaf’s most esteemed jounin would encourage such vice,” Neji hissed when Gai left to use the bathroom. “Might Gai surely knows better than to let his own weakness overtake him and sway him into fostering bad habits in his team.”
“Relax,” Tenten sighed. “It’s not like he’s buying us copies of Makeout Paradise and a bottle of sake each.”
“No, that would indeed be bad because we are all underage!” Lee concurred.
“Yeah, and we all know how you are with sake.”
Lee’s neck shriveled into his shoulders and bright red splotches spread across his cheeks. Lee stammered that at least the ice cream shop didn’t have an alcohol menu. All the better to avoid any more embarrassing incidents. He popped a cherry from atop the whipped cream into his mouth and chewed twice. His bushy eyebrows shot up – and Tenten prayed that the trace amounts of liquor wouldn’t be enough to trigger a meltdown.
“Lee, eat or the ice cream’s going to melt,” Gai said, once he returned from the bathroom.
“I was awaiting your return, Gai-sensei.”
No signs of a super-powered trance state yet, Tenten thought. Shivers ran in waves down her spine. She slipped a spoonful of strawberry ice cream into her mouth. Lee and Gai attacked their ice cream with abandon - almost as if they'd started a silent eating contest. Lee complained minutes later that he had a brain freeze, which Neji met with an eyeroll.
“I simply don’t see what’s so tempting about this ice cream, when it corrupts both the mind and body. The latest in nutrition science holds that no amount of added sugar is healthy to consume.”
“Congratulations to you, then,” Tenten shot back. "I'm sorry that I haven't been reading nutrition journals in my free time. But you know something? Being this much of a jerk all the time is going to give you a heart attack."
In the half-second after her retort, Tenten realized that she didn’t need to play Neji’s game. Her backlash wouldn't shock him into shedding his feeling of superiority. To him, it was more evidence that he was right. She’d end their exchange more aggravated and resentful than she’d been before she opened her mouth to disagree.
“I find that you’re behaving rather childishly. It’s almost endearing.”
Bastard. Tenten cleaved a sizable chunk of ice cream from her cup and jammed it into her mouth. She locked her teeth and grimaced at the freeze. Neji raised his brows at her discomfort and sipped another mouthful of water, careful not to let any of the ice touch his teeth.
"Though you should note that I said almost endearing," Neji sneered.
“You know what? I didn’t touch the right half yet, so you’re more than welcome to taste some if you’d like.”
“That’s quite alright.”
“You’re afraid, aren’t you?” Tenten smirked and leaned back with her arms crossed. The edge in her voice caught Lee and Gai’s attention, melting ice cream dripping from Lee’s spoon as his round black eyes stared at her. “If you taste just a bit, you’re worried you won’t be able to resist having more.”
“I-”
“Come on. You’re a jounin, yeah? Means you’ve got superior self-control and discipline that I, a mere chunin, lack. Test yourself. It won’t hurt you.”
“Y-yes. I am indeed a jounin of the hidden leaf and I consider myself quite adept at tempering my passions. That’s why I have no interest in your ice cream.”
Neji squeezed his water cup until Tenten braced herself for the snap of plastic cracking in his hands. She’d eroded his confidence – until he stood with his back against the wall while she pressed him harder. Quite a reversal from their usual dynamic, and Neji looked lost.
“Neji, you really should try some! It would do your mood much good!” Lee exclaimed. “You will perhaps not be so glum after you give it a taste!”
“I don’t think I will.”
“I knew it. You’re afraid. Scared of a little ice cream.” Tenten’s teasing sing-song drew a blush to Neji’s white cheeks.
With the full attention of his team and teacher, Neji couldn’t well back down. His white eyes searched Gai-sensei for help – surely he’d be the voice of authority and shut down his students’ petty contest. How unfortunate that Gai loved a good contest too much not to watch the table with rapt attention to see who would fold first. Tenten grabbed a clean spoon and nicked half a spoonful of ice cream from the untouched side of her sundae.
“We’re waiting for you. Do you really want to hold us up like this while we’re all watching?”
Tenten snickered when Neji clenched his white eyes shut and turned his head to the side. The spoon held steady in her hand as she coaxed him once again – promising that it wasn’t poison and that a touch of sweetness wouldn’t corrupt him.
“Come on, Neji!” Lee pleaded. “Any minute now, or the ice cream will melt on the spoon!”
“L-let it.”
Neji's pale knuckles turned paper white in his lap. The taste of his torment galvanized Tenten, more than she'd expected.
"You want to know something about me? I don't like hanging out with guys who can't do anything fun. Seriously? It's just ice cream and you're being super weird about it. Couldn't imagine dating anyone like that," Tenten said, drawing the spoon closer to her lips. "Lee and Kiba are always up for any-"
"Fine."
Without further comment, Tenten presented the spoon to Neji, who took the handle before swallowing the dollop of ice cream. The Neji Hyuga she knew would die before any of his teammates fed him anything, let alone in public. Tenten had enough restraint to avoid humiliating him to the point that he'd shun her during training the next day.
"Not bad," he muttered. "I...wouldn't be opposed to having more."
Lee hid his grin behind a bandaged fist. Tenten was less discreet about her triumph.
"Now, does this place offer samples?"
