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Idk ficlets
“ENA you’re not gonna believe what I fucking found on Runazon dot com!”
Dwessie ran into the shitty apartment she shared with her beautiful fucked up polygon GF, she (Dwessie) was holding a Runazon box that was honestly 90 percent duct tape. They’d shop small if they could fucking find anything at the real store, but nooooo.
ENA stared at the fucked up tape mess in her shitty glitch wife’s hands. She tilted her head a little bit and poked the contraption with her pointy polygon fingie. “What sorts of magical treasures can we uncover beneath this labyrinth of tape?” ENA asked with equal parts anxiety and excitement.
“Something you haven’t had since we got together because my dumb ass doesn’t cook.” Dwessie replied, answering absolutely zero questions.
ENA, fed up with the silly bullshit, takes a knife out of her “inventory” and slashes at the tape like it’s some dumbass man trying to get you to go home with him. Inside she finds a questionably sussy packaged Turron!
“It’s the only one I found that’s the right kind” Dwessie admitted, “The Italian nut bar kind made my fuckin teeth hurt btw.” She made sure to actually pronounce B.T.W like the millennial fuck that she is.
ENA starts unwrapping the Turron, excited to finally have her most favorite snack, even if it’s from a fucking corporation and not her glitchy ass version of Peru. “I can barely contain my excitement!” she cheered.
Once unwrapping it, a giant (like surprisingly big, the size of a small sheet cake) gooey version of the exact Turron you saw in the show, complete with unidentifiable, unknowable, but adorable random candies on top.
“Holy fuck how are we supposed to eat this entire fucking thing?” Dwessie bitched. Even if it’s delicious that’s too much dessert for two “people” (or whatever you’d call these silly broads). Even ENA had no idea how to eat all that bullshit, but she was ready to try, and so hype to see her strange wifey try her absolute most favorite food.
ENA cut up little normal pieces of Turron for her and her beloved, serving the snacks on their best melamine thrift store plates that don’t fuckin match anything. She lovingly served one to Dwessie, making sure to give her her favorite shitty pink plate and the Small Fork. (They mostly use small forks in this house bc they are both autistic)
“Thank you, my dearest love!” Dwessie chirped, being a simp for the polygon lady as always.
ENA stared impatiently while Dwessie took her first bite.
“Hm.” Dwessie hummed with her mouth full. “I thought I’d taste the syrup more?” she kept chewing.
ENA enthusiastically took her own bite and smiled.
Dwessie continued chewing, analyzing the flavor and texture. “It’s kinda generically sweet but not in a bad way—Jesus Christ is that sesame?????”
There was no way Dwessie was gonna help finish this whole thing. The candies, while cute as hell, were hard to chew.
ENA grabbed the rest of it and slammed it against her face. As she did so, it disappeared, like a GameCube character’s eating animation.
Dwessie wondered if ENA even has time to savor the things she eats when she devours them like that instead of at least grabbing a bite first like what society would call a “normal person”. She also wondered how hard her beloved polygon princess would cry if she knew Dwessie thought it tasted completely fucked.
“It is most certainly made in a factory. Homemade is superior.” ENA casually stated, as if to give Dwessie a way out. Dwessie had to think carefully of what to say next, so of course she’d whip out a shitty one-liner.
“It’s no Tiramisu.”