Work Text:
"I love you"
Hawks nearly chokes on his coffee, jolted out of reality. The message on the screen screams at him: "Answer!" He really wants to respond; he wants to say so much. But his fingers freeze, refusing to obey.
His instinct worked. A shiver runs down the hero's spine, an unpleasant, uncontrollable tremor.
Hawks doesn't open the chat, just stares at the notification banner with a mix of fear and hesitation. What's wrong? Is he scared to respond? Yes. He's afraid of making a mistake. Children learn from mistakes, while adults suffer because of them. And Hawks, a "big bird," has suffered from mistakes — his own and others — ever since he was small.
"I love you" reads the contact labeled "Hotshot." Calling Dabi by his real name would be reckless and foolish.
Hawks wants to write "I love you too." But his instincts, unlike himself, are not mistaken. So, like a loyal spy, he obeys, suppressing his feelings. Instead of the heartfelt reply he longs to send, he types a simple "What?" Now his fingers obey. That means it's right. His body ignores the heart's urges, it follows the commands of his mind.
Everything happens just as it should.
The hero finishes his now-cold coffee and tosses the can away. His wings spread instinctively. He needs air. Higher, higher, higher. To where there's only the fierce wind all around. To where there's only sky in every direction. The sky, drawing closer and closer…
The workday passed in a blur, as if Hawks were not even human but some sort of robot. He caught a couple of crooks, stopped a store robbery, saved a child from being hit by a car. He smiled as usual, posed for photos with fans, played the role of his usual, charming self. Nothing betrayed the storm raging inside. But inside, he was churning. Here and now, the hero could find no peace. Not on this street, not among these people, not in his usual routine.
The day had been completely unproductive. Hawks knows his bosses will reprimand him later. Dabi threw him off. Disrupted his usual rhythm. Knocked him off balance. If this was some villainous plan to reduce heroes' effectiveness, then that patched-up bastard deserves congratulations! He did a fantastic job! Wow, excellent game with feelings. Bravo, Dabi, bravo.
Hawks ignored every notification from the contact "Hotshot." Yes, he'd even set a unique notification sound for him. The clucking of chickens. Don't ask why.
His bosses wouldn't like him ignoring his League contact like this. They'd give him an earful. The rational part of Hawks scolds him, listing off: unreasonable, unprofessional, unacceptable . Too many "uns" and only one "but." Hawks — the one who's not rational but simply human — is afraid. He's scared of what might be waiting there.
The hero postpones this matter, putting it in a drawer "for later". There are more important things to do right now. Like paperwork, for example.
Hawks doesn't leave things for later. He knows how "later" has a way of piling up, turning into a massive snowball. He tackles problems right away. Better yet, he deals with the problem before it even appears, preventing it altogether.
Letter by letter, line by line, page by page. The matter he put "for later" inches closer. But paperwork, though it feels endless, isn't actually eternal. Hawks wrote to the end.
Come on, Hawks isn't some clueless little fledgling anymore. He's a professional winged hero. He can put on a brave face.
"I love you."
A second message.
His heart wants to sing, realizing this isn't a mistake, that no one mixed up contacts, that it's not some autocorrect prank.
"The little devil stole my phone. She didn't send you anything stupid, did she?"
A third message.
His mind delivers a cold slap to his childish naivety. Where does he even get that from? His trainers nearly stamped it out of him from the start…
Oh, so that's why his instincts were screaming. Well, yeah, he should have expected this. Dabi couldn't have written it himself. It was Toga's prank, nothing more. It could have been anything — but the truth. It could've been a lost bet. Or a prank from Dabi. Or something else. Hawks would've ended up humiliated, the laughingstock for the villains. Then they'd take screenshots and post them online for everyone's amusement.
Thank goodness Hawks is a spy through and through. That he doesn't know how to listen to his heart, only acts as he should. As is right.
Looks like Toga deleted all her messages. Wonder how many other people she "confessed her love" to, pretending to be Dabi?
His obedient fingers erase the vulnerable, heartfelt "I love you too."
"Nah, all good, man, don't sweat it"
Message sent.
***
Dabi checks the reply almost immediately. He hadn't been sure the featherhead would respond at all. First, Hawks decided to play dumb and ask again, then to ignore him, and finally to act like nothing happened.
As if Dabi hadn't just confessed his love.
The villain wants to burn his phone. Or at least throw it at the wall. But the poor device isn't to blame for his love life going sideways. And he really doesn't feel like buying a new one.
Instead, Dabi tosses the phone onto the nightstand, as if it were the source of his pain. As if the smartphone were burning his fingers. When in reality, it's just that one message that scorches his heart.
Dabi buries his face in the pillow and lets out a long, painful, muffled howl. Like a wounded, dying animal.
Hawks will never know that Toga never took Dabi's phone. Those messages were written by Dabi himself. Written with his own fingers, about his own feelings. That Dabi simply didn't have the guts to continue after that.
So, he's brave enough to punch anyone who crosses his path? Brave enough to seek revenge on his father, even if it means burning himself up? But when it comes to confessing his feelings, that's it? Five words is his limit? Anything more, and he's terrified? Pathetic coward, hiding behind an innocent girl. A pathetic coward who only manages a couple of messages. A pathetic coward who hides his heart behind walls of fire and smoke.
He's like a little boy hiding behind his mother's skirt. Hiding because he's not ready to take responsibility for his words. Hiding because he's not ready to face the consequences.
He hates this day. He hates the moment he thought confessing was a good idea. He hates his own weakness and inability to follow through.
He's disgusted with himself! Ha, what a pity. You can't love someone who doesn't love himself. His feelings have never led to anything good.
"Nah, all good, man." Simple words. The relaxed tone comes through in the casual message. Dabi can almost picture Hawks saying it with that carefree ease.
Simple words that sear into his memory and leave a burn on his heart. Dabi forgets nothing. Dabi never stops feeling. He replays old memories over and over, so he'll never forget. So the old feelings never leave him. He won't forget today either. It'll stay with him forever.
Just like always. His whole life — a pathetic spectacle.