Chapter Text
Travis has always been kinda "out of place" compared to other people, and honestly, I've never questioned him on stuff like that ever since he told me about his past with his crazy voodoo boss. The dude has been through crazy shit.
Like, enough to break a normal persons mind. So, considering his insane amount of trauma and how badly it goes on to effect him, I've always brushed off some behaviors of his others may see as "odd" or "weird".
I mean you can't expect a dude who's been turned into a reanimated puppet corpse to be normal and all but lately he's just been acting.... Different .
I noticed the change almost immediately when he basically came dragging himself into the kitchen one morning looking like an absolute mess.
His eyelids were barely staying open, dark brown hair in complete disarray, eye bags a darker shade than usual- you know what I'm getting at.
"Did you get a visit from Freddy Krueger last night or something?" I chuckled slightly, handing him the cup of coffee I made for myself just then.
He obviously needed it more than me, plus I could just make another one later, I didn't mind.
Travis carefully took the mug from me and mumbled a small "Thank you", taking a few small sips from it.
Mornings like these were always peaceful, the silence that would fall over us comfortable and calming. This time though, the atmosphere was thick with something that made it feel almost suffocating.
I could tell Travis wanted to say something, and whatever he was holding back looked like it was eating him alive and desperately trying to claw it's way out of him.
His fingers drummed against the porcelain mug, gaze fixated onto the floor, nervous energy basically radiating off of him. I haven't seen him like this ever since Creole's little "revival" plan backfired, and that was just a couple of months ago.
My mind wandered as I made myself another cup of coffee, Travis still standing near me by the kitchen counter. I thought about whether or not I should check up on him. Travis doesn't open up that easily despite how close we are nowadays, so it gets difficult when I want to comfort him without coming across as babying him.
A small sigh managed to escape me as I poured the coffee into my own cup, Travis didn't notice or even hear, he was spacing out again. He's been doing that a lot more for the past couple of days.
I cleared my throat a bit which seemed to snap hin out of his staring contest with the tiled floor. "So..." I started, leaning back a bit against the counter behind me. "Hows everything been going?"
Travis stuttered with his words for a second, staring off to the side again before giving me a small shrug and slightly mumbling his words.
"It's.... been okay for the most part I-I guess.." I slightly nodded my head, holding back the frown threatening to form across my face while keeping the small smile I had plastered on as I watched him fidget around with his sleeve.
"Well both of our schedules are empty today so we could go somewhere and hang out if you want!", "I actually need to run to the store in a bit for some stuff and I might be gone for a bit... Maybe another time?" The rejection hurt a bit, I'll admit that but If Travis had something to do then he had something to do. Period.
He drank the remaining coffee in his cup and looked down at the empty mug for a moment before back at me.
"Can we talk later maybe?" The tiredness In his voice said enough. I smiled and agreed to talk to him whenever he was ready later that day. The atmosphere in the kitchen seemed to loosen up after that which I was incredibly greatful for.
The day carried on as normal after that, I chilled out on the couch, watched Netflix, waved Travis goodbye when he headed out, and spent maybe two and a half hours on extra work that didn't need to be done until next month.
My focus was broken when I heard the front door of our dorm creak open, Travis walking through the door with two grocery bags in hand, placing both of them on the kitchen counter.
"I got that one ramen flavor you've been talking about while I was out, it's in the left bag if you want it." He said absentmindedly as he kicked off his shoes. Meanwhile I practically beamed at the small act, already moving a few papers out of the way of where I usually sit to eat.
"I'm just going to go wipe off my makeup real quick. And don't worry, I won't leave my stuff on the counter like last time." The joke wasn't exactly funny (Sorry, Travis), but it was the fact he was cracking one that made me smile and laugh a bit. I could hear him muffle a small chuckle as he walked off to his roo.
I waited for the small click of his door closing to stand up from the table and over to the counter.
I admit, when Travis was saying who's bag was who's I wasn't really paying attention so before you say anything, no. I did not purposely look through Travis's things, I just can't tell my right from my left without using my hands so I ACCIDENTLY opened his and when I did and saw that it was not in fact my ramen I immediately went to put it back until something in the bag caught my eye.
While Travis was out, he had bought a window lock, a bottle of melatonin, and a padlock with a lock latch along with it. That set off several red flags in my head but before I could make an excuse for him I heard his door creak open.
I quickly put the bag back and snatched the one next to it, quickly sitting back down with the most casual but probably awkward smile I can put on as a now red-cheeked Travis walked back in and over to the counter.
"I'm just gonna go to bed early. Didn't get much sleep last night since I've kinda been..." Travis paused, his hand hovering over the flimsy handle of the grocery bag. "Sleep walking..." He mumbled, wrapping the gray plastic handle around his pale fingers before his eyes fixated on to me.
It hurts me to say this, it really does but when he started walking over to me, digging in his pocket for something I couldn't see shot a sense of fear through me.
I flinched a bit when he suddenly pulled whatever he was reaching for out and in front of me. It was a pocket knife with dark wooden handle, small floral-like designs engraved into it. “I uhm… thought of you when I saw it..” He muttered.
I stared at the knife for a moment, carefully taking it from his hand and admiring it before looking back up at Travis.
His soft red painted cheeks now a bit darker than before. I couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at that, a small smile easily finding its way across my face.
"Aw Travis you shouldn’t have!" I jokingly batted my eyelashes which seemed to get a genuine giggle and a light jab on the shoulder from him. "Whatever, I'm going to bed." The playfulness softened with that, the light chuckles fading as we bid each other good night.
Even after he left I spent a few more minutes admiring the small knife. Turning it around in my hand while folding and unfolding it until I got bored and slipped it into my pocket, deciding to get some sleep along with Travis. I did the usual routine of switching off all the lights, checking the locks, and closing the one window curtain we had.
I switched off the small hallway light as I walked to my room, momentarily pausing in front of Travis's door until I realised how creepy I looked and quickly making a b-line for my room.
Once again, I carried out my routine. I didn't bother getting changed since I wore pajamas all day, but I still brushed my teeth and texted my family goodnight.
I would usually try and fall asleep after this, but my brain was still wide awake and thinking about Travis ( not in a weird way, shut up ).
I tried to push those thoughts into the back of my head but they would just force their way back to the front of my mind.
After more failed attempts of falling alsleep I eventually gave up and reached for my phone, hoping it would take my mind off of everything and eventually make me fall asleep.
I switched from Tiktok, YouTube, Spotify, my favourite games, then games I've download back when I was like seventeen and had long forgotten about. Obviously, I never fell asleep. No matter how much I rearranged my sheets or pillows I just couldn't and it was driving me nuts.
I thought back to the ramen Travis got me. Was it necessarily a good midnight snack? No, but maybe it would help me out a bit with falling asleep. I snuck one last glance at my phone to read the time, 1AM.
I groaned slightly at how late it was as I got up from my bed and made my way over to my door. Even though the chances of Travis waking up from me moving around was low I still always made sure to be as quiet as possible as to not bother him.
I shuffled myself down the hallway and normally I would just walk straight to the kitchen, grab a snack, and make my way back to my room.
This time though I paused at the corner. I don't know why, my body just froze on its own. Now that I look back on it, I'm extremely grateful that I did since just a few seconds later, I started to hear the wooden drawers in the kitchen opening and closing.
Obviously, my first thought was that it was probably just Travis. The only problem though is that Travis never and I mean never gets midnight snacks.
Plus, the dude never even gets up in the middle of the night, he sleeps like a rock. So the two other options I had left were either one; someone managed to break in, or two; It's the nightmare version of Travis's boss and he found another way to manifest himself back into the world of the living.
I crossed the second option off since I doubt he would be looking through our kitchen right now over Travis's room. That was unless he really wanted some three day-old Chinese leftovers.
And even though a robber isn't as horrifying as a guy who can turn you into a melting puddle of flesh and bone on the floor within seconds, it was still pretty scary to be in that situation.
I pressed my back against the wall, clasping a hand over my mouth to silence any loud gasps of air that could catch the intruders attention.
I spent multiple minutes like that just trying to rack my brain for what my next course of action would even be when the threat was only about ten feet away from me.
I mentally went through several different ideas, each one of them sadly ending in disaster when I actually thought about them for longer than ten seconds.
"Maybe I could quietly sneak back to my room?" No, they would just hear me opening the door.
"What If we just walk in and scare them enough to make em' run out the door?" Nope, too risky plus they could have a weapon.
"Why not just rush attack them?" Once again, could have a weapon. We don't even have anything to attack them with....
.
.
.
.
My hand shot down to my shorts pocket and I almost let out a sigh like cry when I could feel the outline of the pocket knife I had accidentally left in there.
I immediately pulled the blade out and flipped it open, holding it tight in my hand to the point my knuckles started to turn white. I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through my veins pick up as the sound of cabinets and drawers being opened came to a halt.
I didn't want whoever was there to get an upper hand by potentially sensing me lurking around the corner.
So, I took the deepest, quietest, breath I could swallow even though it felt nearly impossible to breath in that moment of anxiety and anticipation of who was going to get the drop first.
I took one last possible glance at myself through the reflective metal of the blade before jumping out from around the corner, knife pointing directly where the intruder was standing.
"The fuck are you doing-?!" Was all I could manage to yell before the rest of my words got stuck in the back of my throat as I recognized the shadow figure blankly standing in the middle of the kitchen.
For a moment I just stared at the back of the ' intruder ' as I slowly lowered the knife with a shaking hand as all the terror, fear, and anxiety I felt mere seconds earlier faded into confusion.
"Travis?" He didn't respond. Didn't even move an inch.
"Jesus man, you scared the shit outta me! I thought someone like, broke in or something." I weakly chuckled a bit, my voice still slightly shaky from the intense adrenaline that was slowly beginning to wear off as I tucked the knife back into my pocket.
Travis still remained silent. I didn't speak either for a few moments, silently praying that he would offer any sign of awareness. The air in the room never settled.
It stayed tense... dangerous even. I took a hesitant step forward, the weak smile I had faltering as I carefully approached him like he was some sort of rabid animal that could snap at any moment.
".... Travis?" I asked, my concern and fear clear as day now for him to hear.
I was close enough now to peer a bit over his shoulder, and I instantly regretted it. I froze in place, my breath catching in the back of my throat as the metal surface of the large kitchen knife he was gripping reflected myself against the dim light above us.
I stared at the reflection of myself, my gaze slowly moving up towards Travis. His head was slightly turned down, shadow casted over his face and making his expression impossible for me to read. I took a step back.
That's when he moved. He didn't take a step, I don't think he even breathed, he only tilted his head a bit over his shoulder.
The second I met his eyes, I knew something was wrong. Instead of the warmth that would gently run through me whenever we met eyes, a rough shiver of cold shot through me.
At first, I wasn't even sure if I was looking at Travis's real eyes. They didn't carry the usual softness or vulnerability, no.
It was cold, crazed, unblinking, wild. I've never seen him look at someone like that before. And I wish I never had to, especially if it was me who he was staring at with a glint of murderous intent.
We stayed frozen in place. I didn't move, and neither did he. Well, at least until a crooked smile twisted it's way onto his face. That's when I moved.
That's when I turned my back and tried to make a run for it. It was like turning around on a weeping angel. You take your eye off of them for one second and they're suddenly breathing down your neck.
Sadly, my "weeping angel" didn't breathe down my neck. No. I was immediately tackled to the ground, hitting my head hard on the wood floor.
I didn't even have time to register the pain before he managed to throw himself on top of me, one hand wrapping around my throat and the other raising the knife above his head with a low chuckle that slowly erupted into laughter.
I suddenly acted on impulse, I didn't want to hurt Travis. I would rather hurt myself before resorting to harming him, but right now my adrenaline was piloting my body, not my brain.
I managed to use my free hand to punch him across the jaw, which caught him off guard long enough for me to pin him down, knife still somehow gripped tightly in hand as if it was some kind of life source.
Don't know how many times we rolled over each other like that. One moment he would be on top of me, ready to plunge the knife deep inside my chest then suddenly I would fight my way back above him, using all my strength to keep him held down until he would force his way back on top.
It didn't take long for me to grow exhausted, Travis somehow barely showed any signs of giving up. His pants for air were shallow and low, mine were heavy and desperate as my limbs began to give up on me. Travis could tell I was starting to get worn out, the crazed smile he somehow kept plastered on widening when he realized, small giggles erupting from the back of his throat as he stared down at me.
I was too exhausted to move anymore, my limbs ached from the multiple harsh slams I took to hard floor along with the flimsy attacks Travis threw at me. Scratches, quick punches that seemed to miss me just by an inch, I even had a bite mark around my wrist that I probably should've gotten checked out.
He managed to overpower me again, this time I didn't immediately fight back. My whole body was aching and I felt like I was choking on my own gasps for air. He wrapped a cold hand around my neck again but unlike last time, he didn't immediately raise the knife. He only stared down at me, almost as if he was studying me.
"So this is what he gave him up for?" He chuckled coldly, resentment disguised behind the false giddiness that wa beginning to slip. He slid his hand up a bit to tilt my head around like I was some kind of high-quality meat.
" Why- Why are you doing this... ?" I managed to choke out breathlessly. His hand froze around my chin, his smile loosening and his eyes narrowing down at me. I felt my own eyes start to water a bit. Could you blame me, though?
I'm staring up at my roommate, my friend,
my crush
who looks like he has every intention on gutting me like a fish right then and there at any moment. I thought I could have trusted him...
And yea, maybe it was stupid of me to trust a guy who helped murder people (in a way..), but I could still see someone in there..
Someone who could be soft, gentle, open, healed .
But, here I am now. Staring into the crazed eyes of my murderer who only barked out a laugh in response to my question. "Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this?!" He echoed, raising his voice with a tone that for once didn't sound cheery but almost offended.
"You, this whole place has been holding us- Me back from returning to him! If Travis can't leave all this behind himself then I'm going to have to force him to. Force him to realize that we don't need anyone but him and-" I unintentionally began to mute him out as he rambled. My eyes desperately scanned around me, searching for anything I could use to get the upper hand against him other than my fists.
Unfortunately, there isn't really much you can use as a weapon in a small narrow hallway. I was about to give up and listen to Travis ramble until he got bored and killed me until I spotted a familiar wooden handle tucked understand me.
The knife must have fallen out my pocket during the struggle, and yeah maybe Travis had a knife like ten times bigger but it was better than nothing. I made a quick glance up at Travis to see him still talking about.. Whatever. I kept my eyes on him as I slowly inched my fingers closer to the knife, my eyes fixated on him.
The moment my fingers grazed the wood, I instantly gripped on to it and used all my remaining strength to grab Travis by the neck and force him on to his back. I didn't give him the chance to even realize what was happening when I pointed the sharp side of the blade toward his stitches, causing him to instantly freeze.
We both sat there, him looking down at the knife and me staring daggers through him as we caught our breath. Travis was the first to break the silence, letting out a breathless laugh as he looked up at me with furrowed brows, his wide smile now weak and slightly trembling. "You wouldn't dare... Kill me, and you kill Travis..."
"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I nearly growled, pressing the blade closer against the stitches which earned a slight wince from the man under me. "What? Travis hasn't told you yet?"
He had the audacity to giggle again, to taunt me with sly eyes as if he didn't have a knife pointed at his neck and pinned down to the floor. It all fueled the growing aggravating that was beginning to boil underneath my skin. I didn't care if this was on purpose.
"Tell me what?" My voice accidentally trembled, "What the fuck is happening?!" I raised my voice louder, trying to cover up the way my voice had faltered and exposed something dangerous. Hesitancy.
Travis only chuckled, his gaze shifting to amusement as he watched. "I'd just love to tell you! I really would, but unfortunately I think it would be much more entertaining to watch Travis try to explain this to you."
I raised a brow at his words, my confusion only fueling his amusement. "He can deny and avoid the truth all he wants, but deep down he knows it's there and it's only a matter of time until someone finds it out for themselves." He hummed lightly. It started to feel like he was treating this like some sort of game that he had complete control over.
And he did.
He knew I wouldn't cut his throat, my words didn't even mean anything to him. I was the one who was supposed to be in control here, I had the knife pointed to his throat. I could easily kill him, that should've been enough for him to surrender. But he didn't.
He just kept toying with me, staring up at me like all I was were some kind of special or exotic animal you would see at a zoo. Something inferior but far too interesting to just be thrown out like any other.
Tense silence fell between us for a moment. "You won't let me go, will you?" He titled his head to the side almost playfully lifting up his chin to bare his throat even more as If the blade couldn't even cut a stitch.
"Fuck no." I barked, Travis let out a dramatic sigh at that. He probably would have crossed his arms if he wasn't being pinned down. "Hmp. Figured." He spat back, grin faltering as he slightly rolled his eyes.
"Well then, I guess I'm going to have to try again another day! It was nice to finally meet you Brian, I cannot wait until we meet again." More giggles erupted from him, as if the mere thought to him was exhilarating. I couldn't even muster a word out before he suddenly passed out, leaving me alone. Confused.
I just sat there, didn't move my legs on either side of his torso, blade still titled at the same angle. Frozen. I could still feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, the hand I kept clasped around his throat trembling while the other quivered and near vibrated the knife I was still gripping on to.
How could he just fall asleep so easily like that, after what he had just done? How dare he even look so at peace like that after trying to take my life. It felt like some sort of whiplash to see him go from someone unrecognizable. Violent, murderous, and full of bloodlust and then suddenly to the "him" I knew.
Vulnerable, peaceful, soft-
I took the knife away from his neck, discarding it somewhere across the floor so I could bring my hands up to my face. I was too soft when It came to him. Even when he pointed the knife at me, ready to kill me without a single sign of heistence in his eyes.
No matter how hard or deep I tried to search for the same warmth he looked at me with only hours earlier, there was nothing.
Yet I still held back.
I dragged my hands down my face with a groan at my own stupidity. A small huff exhaled through my nose as I shuffled off of Travis, leaning my back against the nearby wall as my body slowly surrendered to exhaustion.
I would make sure Travis explained everything to me tomorrow. But for now, I just didn't want to think. Not about the struggle, not about the betrayal, or even the way my heart felt like it was being plucked apart one by one.
I would confront all that tomorrow when my heart has calmed down.