Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Jason wasn’t one for celebrity crushes. He wasn’t one for crushes in general. The only crush he’d ever had was on Piper, and that was from divine intervention, so did it really count?
“My celebrity crush is Perseus Jackson.” Annabeth comments, stone faced.
“Percy doesn’t count, Annie!” Hazel giggled.
“Hey, he was on the news when he was 12, he’s a celebrity in my heart.” She plants a kiss on his cheek.
“I don’t know about you all, but River Phoenix is in my top 3.” Leo pipes up, shrugging.
“I haven’t seen her in anything, would I recognize her?” Jason asks, looking at Leo’s disheveled hair.
“He’s a guy, Jason. And probably not, he died a while back.”
“How is he your celebrity crush, he’s a guy?” Jason furrows his eyebrows.
“I know? Part of the reason why I like him.” Leo raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips.
“I didn’t know you were gay, Leo?” Jason looked almost offended that he hadn’t shared this information with him, his best friend.
“I’m not, I’m bisexual. I like guys and girls. River Phoenix just happens to be one of them.” Leo laughs, throwing his head back.
Jason knew that guys could like guys, and girls could like girls. And there was nothing wrong with that, of course not! Nico was dating Will, Piper was dating Shel, it was all fine! It just had never occurred to him that someone could like two different genders. Logically, it made sense. But it never crossed his mind. Jason just nods, like he wrapped his head around the concept of being bisexual, and the group continued on, rattling off celebrities like mytho-magic cards.

~~~~~

The Zeus cabin was a place of solitude. Except from when his sister visited with the hunters of Artemis, Jason was completely alone. He wasn’t completely opposed to it, he just got lonely at times. Jason began to spiral. Specifically, he started to think about Leo Valdez. Leo was Jason’s best friend through thick and thin. Did Leo think Jason was homophobic? Or worse, not feel the same way?
Jason ran his fingers through his blond hair, breathing heavily. Why was he so obsessed with Leo’s view on him? Leo liked him. At least, Jason hoped he did. He could understand why Leo wouldn’t like him. They’re polar opposites. Leo is Greek, Jason is Roman. Leo was sarcastic, Jason was not. Leo was afraid of Fire, Lightning started them. Leo was everything Jason wished he could be, it gave him a headache.
He decided to work out to stop his mind from racing.

~~~~~

Jason had sweat dripping down his face by the time it got light outside. His head hung between his knees, panting. Jason’s mind still wasn’t quiet, but the bell rang for breakfast, so he’d have to put his problems on hold.
Jason sat at the pavilion, eating eggs and toast, when Leo made his way over to him.
“Man, you look horrible, Jason! How much sleep did ya get?” Leo put a firm hand onto Jason’s back, before quickly retracting it. “Did you run a marathon in your sleep, what’s happening, Jace?” Leo was a bit more concerned now. That, combined with Leo’s touch, Jason’s ears pounded.
“I just worked out, that’s all.” Jason replied, yawning.
“In the middle of the night?” Leo sat down next to him.
“Pretty much.” Jason stuffed another bite of toast into his mouth, every muscle on his body burning.
“Oh you’re actually being serious. Well, rest up dude, Percy’s training the campers today.” Leo shivered.
Percy’s training was a mix between helping new campers hold their swords, and almost stabbing old ones. It was a workout, more than Jason would like to admit.

~~~~~

Jason’s headaches were worse by the afternoon. He decided to go to Will for help; The head healer of camp.
“Hey, Jason! Is everything alright?” Will’s texan drawl slipped through his lips.
Jason made a noise that resembled a yes. “Just a headache, got anything for it?”
Will looks him up and down “Huh. You don’t look like you got hit with anything. What’s causing these headaches?” Will leads Jason to a line of beds, and has him lay down on one.
“I think the biggest contender is stress? Just a lot on my mind.” Jason practically groans, a sharp pain piercing through his focus. He instinctively reaches his hand to his head.
“That could definitely be the cause. Is it stress about Camp Jupiter, or?” Will asks, looking over his shoulder from the medicine cabinet, looking for Ibuprofen.
“Not really, no. I’ve got that stuff handled. Have you ever thought about someone to the point of feeling physically sick? Like the thought of them not liking you gives you a headache and makes you nauseous? Like no matter what you try, you can’t stop thinking about them?” Jason asks, as Will brings over a glass of water for him.
“Sure, I did all the time when me and Nico first started dating, why? A certain someone you fancy?” Will raises his eyebrows, offering a soft smile.
Jason? Liking someone romantically? Now that was one thing that Jason knew for a fact didn’t happen. Jason had never had a crush on anyone, especially not a boy. That just wasn’t what he did.
“No, just someone who has been racing through my mind, that’s all.” Jason replies sternly.
Will nods sympathetically, sitting on a chair next to Jason. “Yeah, I know what exactly is causing your headaches, Jason.”
Jason’s eyes light up “Really? What is it? How do I stop them?”
“Lovesickness, Jason. The cure, just tell them that you like ‘em.” Will stands up, shrugging.
“I already told you, I don’t do that. It’s not my thing.” Jason sits up, his head pounding once more.
“Look, you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want, but until you tell them, it won’t go away, Jason.” Will writes something on his clipboard, before walking away to tend to another patient.
And Jason was forced to be alone with his thoughts. Again.

Chapter Text

Percy’s training might have been brutal, but at least it distracted Jason from thinking about Leo. Or at least it would if Leo wasn’t at training as well.
“Alright! Listen up campers! We’ll start with basic sword training. How to hold your sword and how to wield it! Then, we’ll break into groups of two, capisce?” Percy projects his voice an impressive amount, before handing swords to the campers.

“Please for the love of Apollo, if you can touch someone, you are way too close to them!” Percy stressed, moving campers away from each other.
“Keep your hands a decent distance apart! This isn’t baseball!” Half of the campers haven’t even played baseball before. “Don’t swing near your head, plant your feet, and bend your legs a bit! TCB, campers! Timing, confidence, and balance! Do all three and you might live to see next week!” The younger campers faces drops when Percy says the last part.

After Percy went through all the safety precautions, and the drills, he told us to get someone we trusted to practice one on one with us.
“Hey, wanna be a couple?” Leo asks, smirking.

“W-what?!” Jason refutes back, his ears turning a surprisingly violent red.

“Like pair up…? For sword training?” Leo slows his speech down, like he was talking to a child.
“What? Oh. Uhm, yeah.” Jason wanted anything but that.

They both plant their feet, and grip their swords. Leo’s grip was all wrong, and Jason was not in the mood to stay another hour in the infirmary, so he drops his swords and walks behind Leo to correct his hand placement.

“Leo, move your hands further apart, you’ll end up cutting someone,” Jason places his hand over his, moving Leo’s hands — no matter how much his head pounded when doing so. Leo seemed to melt into Jason’s touch, Jason quickly backed up. “Much better, right?”

Leo just nods, committing the position to memory.

Jason and Leo start to spar, practicing what Percy had taught them. By the end of it Leo had sweat dripping down his face. No. Jason’s head started to pound. He cannot think about Leo right now. Did Jason really like him? No. That was impossible. Jason was straight. He knew that like he knew his own name.

“Jace? You there, man?” Leo waves his hand in front of Jason comically.

Jason looks at the way Leo’s smirk is sideways and how his tooth is twisted to the side. How his smile never quite reaches his eyes. And he just nods before Percy pipes alright.

“Good job, campers!! Everyone head over to the pavilion for dinner, you guys earned it!” Percy walks around, collecting everyone’s swords.
Jason gives his sword to Percy before walking back to the Zeus cabin, his head throbbing.

He slams the door shut, a loud bang echoing throughout the empty cabin.

“Luppiter Damnant!” Jason shouts, punching the nearest thing, which just so happened to be a marble wall. Jason wasn’t one to curse, or yell, or get aggressive unless needed. But Jason did not need romance on his plate. Nonetheless with a boy. Jason was better than that. How would New Rome react? How would Jupiter react? If he’d even care.

Jason bangs his head against the wall he previously punched, dropping to the floor as his breathing becomes more erratic. Jason’s mind was running a million miles a minute, why couldn’t everything just be quiet? He didn’t like Leo, that was an idea he put in his head to distract from his duties in New Rome. He wasn’t gay, that was impossible. He needed to be strong for new Rome, and what would they say if he had a boyfriend? And even if he did like Leo, he definitely didn’t like him back. Who would? He’s Jason Grace, always keeps to himself. He’s Jason Grace, he’s always got something he has to attend to. He’s Jason Grace, a Roman in a Greek camp. He’s Jason Grace. He’s — Who is he?

The door to the Zeus cabin creaks open, and Jason is suddenly aware of the tears streaming down his face, and the scratch marks along his arms, deep enough to see blood seeping through the places he had put his anger towards.

“Will said you’d be here.” The voice says from the doorway.

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Piper’s hair was loosely braided, and had a beaded earring in each ear. She was four inches shorter than Jason, but made up for it in confidence. She was in pink pajama pants and white doves printed all around it, matching with a white tank top.

“Oh, Jason.” Her voice cracks, walking forward with more urgency.

Jason scrambles to put on a purple sweater he got from New Rome, quickly standing up, lip trembling. “Knock next time, Pipes” His eyes were bloodshot, Piper steps forward once more.

Piper studies Jason. His disheveled hair, and how his sweater is backwards. She studies Jason in the way that he holds himself like a frail puppy left out in the gutter, instead of a wolf who never showed emotion.

Jason studies himself. Blood slowly dripped to his finger tips, it was warm. He felt a flash of heat hit him like a bullet, but this time it wasn’t blood. It was two arms around him, and her head resting in the crook of Jason’s neck.

Jason broke. His lip quivered, and his throat felt tight. He could barely muster out the word “Sorry.” and he held onto Piper like she was the last thing stopping him from drowning. He fell to the ground, crumbling like a piece of paper being poured with water.

“Jason. What’s wrong?” Piper holds him by his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. He still adverts his eyes.

“Leo.” The room was slightly spinning, he could see Piper’s worry painted along her face.

“Oh gods. What’d he do this time?” She frowns.

“Nothing! That’s the problem! He’s always there with his crooked smirk, and flushed cheeks. Always winking at me after making a witty comment. How his eyes are like a fire you couldn’t put out even if you tried. And the fact that I” His voice gets stuck in his throat, his nails digging into his palm. “I love him.”