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Admittedly, despite everything she had gone through during these past 2 years, Mash wasn’t someone you could describe as “confident”. She wasn’t that meek girl who could barely carry her shield when she was thrown into a fight against the end of the world itself, but she was still a naturally shy girl who tried her best to understand a “normal” life after having grown up inside those empty yet comforting white walls. She was learning every day about how to be a normal girl out of her own desire, trying out new things to help her grow little by little but that little to stop her own timidness.
They had won, everyone in Chaldea was still celebrating that even as they “cleaned up what was left.”, she was hailed as part of the heroes who had fought to recover the world and everyone truly admired her for it, both mages that knew far more from the modern world than her and literal vestiges of the past who acknowledged her prowess, it was honestly fascinating for her to imagine so many actually admiring her even if just a few months ago she had come to accept her inevitable end brought by her limited lifespan… Perhaps that same admiration was the reason for her to need to catch back up with everyone after…
She felt strange essentially peeking into the cafeteria, while everyone was calmly eating as they waited for updates regarding Amelia’s mission in Shinjuku, she was away from everyone… Both longing to once more feel “fitting” at their side, while she also awaited for “her chance to strike”. She stared intently at her target as she saw her eating with her friends, still feeling weird about simply not spending time with them. But alas, for what she wanted to beg for, she was still hesitant about just going.
Honestly, she felt rather dumb about worrying over something like that, especially when it came to how she would react. Of course, her request was… Outlandish all things considered, but she truly doubted that it would be so insane as to make her completely think less of herself or something like that… But it made sense for Mash to be so hesitant as despite how much she had truly grown as she helped Amelia stop the ultimate Goal of the first Beast of mankind, she still felt forgotten after what had happened.
As Mash saw Mordred continue talking with those around her, even being reprimanded by Martha as she was “causing” a scene, Mash knew that she couldn’t just wait until everyone magically went away… Even if she could feel her legs shaking, she knew that she wouldn’t get another chance. She breathed to try to calm herself down before she began to calmly walk towards her.
She couldn’t help but feel small as she walked by, even if everyone was still continuing with her day-to-day activities, she felt weird walking among so many living legends she couldn’t reach… Normally on moments like that she would follow people like Amelia, or Dr. Romani to not feel that alone… Alas, in her current situation she couldn’t do much more than brace herself and soldier on.
It didn’t take long before she could begin hearing the ruckus Mordred was doing at her table, even amidst the cacophony of the cafeteria she could still hear him talk in his loud and boisterous voice that was almost impossible to confuse.
“I am just saying Sir Mordred, you wouldn’t get scolded all the time by Martha if you would just stop putting your feet on the table.”
“Nah, she is just a party pooper!”
“Uhh!”
“See, Fran agrees with me, Beansprout!”
Like always, she was hanging out with Jekyll and Frankenstein, after what had transpired in London it was not surprising that the three of them still remained as close friends even if neither of the three was the same ones that had met in that Singularity they had somehow became friends again without much reason, almost as if they were meant to be… Mash had always thought that having friends like that would be simply wonderful.
When she was just mere feet away from the three she instinctively stopped, almost as if she feared getting any closer to them… She felt stupid being nervous around people who considered her as a friend, but she couldn’t help it… Especially by what she thought of asking. For a second she thought about turning back and trying again on another moment, or at least that would have been the plan had Fran not noticed her.
“Uhhhh!”
“Hmm? Oh, hey Mash!”
Before the first Shielder of Chaldea could say anything, she was startled by the three Servants in the table acknowledging her presence, causing her to almost jump out of surprise like a cat, though thankfully she was able to keep her composure… At least to a degree that made her seem only as startled by Mordred acknowledging her.
“G-Greetings Sir Mordred, J-Jekyll, and Fran!”
“Hope your day has been well Ms. Kyrielight, have we gotten any news about how Ms. Amelia and the others are doing?”
Jekyll spoke calmly as he asked her of the current status of Amelia and the others on the first Rayshift mission that didn’t include her, the mention of it making Mash feeling rather… Bitter. But she disregarded those feelings in order to answer the Assassin truthfully.
“It’s going well, last that Da Vinci checked, Ms. Amelia ran again to Jeanne so both Artoria and her are currently taking care of her.”
Her answer seemed to make the trio look noticeably calmer, with Mordred in particular looking proud of herself as once more she began resting her feet on the table.
“With Father with her, Mother will be able to complete that mission in no time!”
“Uh!”
“Y-Yeah… Just please stop resting your boots on the table.”
“Haha, it’s nothing Beansprout! Everyone finished eating so what’s the harm!”
Even while she was out of battle, Mordred kept her confidence and natural charisma. Mash couldn’t help but admire her intently for a few seconds before she remembered once more the reason for her appearance, causing her to take a deep breath before talking once more.
“A-Also Sir Mordred I…”
“Hmm? What is it Mashu?”
“Could… I ask you something?”
She could feel her own face begin heating up by how nervous she felt, she couldn’t help but grab ahold of her own sleeves as she waited for the Knight of Treachery’s answer.
“Oh. Yeah, sure, go on.”
“Ah well… You see…”
While she was happy that Mordred was willing to hear her out, she simply… Couldn’t speak with them at that moment, especially not about that sort of thing with others. She looked nervous as words didn’t seem to leave her mouth, watching as the Knight of Treachery looked at her expectantly. She almost felt the need to excuse herself and just leave, as awkward as that may be she simply couldn’t think of what else to do.
She could feel her heart racing rapidly as she couldn’t speak. She was afraid even though she doubted that she would be judged by what she wanted to say, she felt pitiful once more.
“C-Could-”
“Actually, Sir Mordred, I think Ms. Kyrielight wants to speak with you privately.”
Before Mash could finish speaking, the kind words of Dr. Jekyll seemed to catch everyone’s attention, like saving grace giving her room to breathe amidst her small panic attack. She turned around to see him who was merely smiling gently, as if without words he had been able to understand her own nervousness.
“Should have said it before Mashu! After all, I finished eating a while ago.”
In almost an instant, Mordred basically got out of his chair, expectantly looking at Mash who still felt rather nervous all things considered. Sometimes Mordred’s eagerness seemed to borderline on being reckless… But she knew that deep down she meant well, which is why she truly trusted her in this regard.
“I-If you don’t mind, follow me Sir Mordred.”
“Got it! See ya later!”
As Mash began walking out with Mordred following behind her, the knight began waving her hand towards her two friends who quickly followed in response as they watched them both leave.
“Honestly, it’s good to see that Ms. Kyrielight trusts Sir Mordred with whatever is bothering her.”
“Uuuuuh!”
Fran calmly agreed with Jekyll as he kept on sipping on his own beverage, curious about what Mash may need Mordred for but fully respecting her privacy at that moment.
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As Mordred followed Mash, they couldn’t help but notice that she seemed rather… Anxious, at least more than how she usually was. While their memories of their past meetings were rather hazy, Mordred could always tell that despite how shy Mash was she seemed to have “grown” with the years, especially from what he had been told about her from his mother.
Even as he walked without much worry, he couldn’t help but constantly keep her eyes on Chaldea’s Shield Maiden who seemed to walk solemnly across the empty halls, not even saying anything as she kept on walking as her gaze remained lowered.
Truth be told, as they kept on walking in complete silence Mordred couldn’t help but feel… Weird. She wasn’t that used to long periods of time without talking with someone else, whether it was back with the Round Table or in Chaldea… She didn’t even know how to actually “break the ice” at that moment. Should he try to crack a joke? Ask how her day has been? She just… I didn't know what to do. But before the Treacherous Knight could even say anything, Mash suddenly stopped in front of a room, quickly opening its door before turning to see Mordred again.
“W-We are here Sir Mordred.”
Mordred merely looked inside the room and began walking in without saying much of anything. It didn’t take long for Mordred to realize that he had entered Mash’s room judging by the decoration it had, even noticing some memoirs from the singularities they had conquered laying about in different parts of it. Before he could say anything else, he could hear the faint sound of the door being locked before staring at Mash.
She looked extremely nervous, still looking at the ground as she was holding onto her own sleeves. Mordred didn’t know what to say or do, but he could feel his face getting ever so slightly warmer as he kept on staring at Mash.
“S-Sir Mordred… B-Before I say anything else, can you promise me that… You won’t tell anyone else?”
“S…Sure.”
“Regardless of… What I say, please don’t tell anyone else… N-Not even Ms. Amelia.”
Upon the mention of his mother, Mordred began feeling more pressure than usual. By all means she knew that Mash and Amelia were rather close, with Amelia often being among the people Mash would go to to ask for advice or help with anything, so for her to explicitly want to keep something secret from her was…
“… Sure, I won’t tell anyone Mash.”
Even though she still had her doubts, she could tell that Mash needed her help with whatever was currently bothering her…It was the least they could do after all. Mordred’s answer seemed to be what Mash wanted to hear as amidst her concerned face she cracked a sweet smile before she spoke softly.
“… I need you to train me.”
“… Excuse me?”
Admittedly Mordred didn’t know what they were expecting after Mash told them that she wanted to tell them something… But thanks to where she had taken him, it was easy to see why his mind began wandering to “certain” scenarios. That aside, he was truly taken aback by what she had said, looking at her with a rather confused look.
“Uhh… I mean, if you want, I can show you some hand-to-hand techniques I learned back in Camelot. Though if you want to actually properly learn stuff like you should ask someone like that Centaur or the Shadow lad-”
“N-Not like that… I want you to help me train again, as a Servant.”
The room became silent as Mordred stared at Mash who kept on tugging at her own sleeves while avoiding his gaze… Slowly but surely everything was beginning to click to him.
“… Did Ms. Amelia tell you what happened after w-… She defeated Goetia?”
Her voice sounded bitter, almost nervous to even utter that name after what had happened, Mordred could only gently scratch the back of his head as he spoke.
“Yeah, well roughly… She told me that you…”
“That I died...”
To a Servant, death was nothing but the end of their story in life, after that they would be elevated as true legends in Human consciousness that could be summoned again and again to help fight for humanity… But for a human like Mash that experience was almost impossible to describe.
Truth be told, no one had the full details as to how she came back, it happened so fast that nobody had time to truly react towards the gravity of the situation aside from Amelia herself who burst into pure rage against Goetia for having robbed Mash of what little time she had left… It was impossible to think of how that may have affected Mash herself.
“After I somehow came back, I seemed to have lost my connection with Sir Galahad which is why I currently can’t fight alongside Ms. Amelia and the others.”
“…”
Mordred still had mixed feelings about Galahad, while she obviously saw him as a pretentious asshole by how high and mighty he acted, it was hard for her to truly hate him as despite everything he seemed to have been of help by lending his power to Mash in order to help fight against the Incineration of Mankind, but now that he was gone Mash was left “powerless”.
“Of course, I still feel blessed over having an actual life as whatever brought me back allowed me to actually live beyond my 18 th birthday… But I can’t help Ms. Amelia anymore.”
She seemed tired and hurt by what she was saying, almost as if she was on the brink of tears. And who could blame her? Throughout most of her life she was raised to be a weapon, she grew up as someone by fighting alongside Amelia… And now, while she is still risking her life to fix everything, she is forced to sit back and watch.
“Da Vinci told me that I could still help in the command center, but I want to be at Ms. Amelia’s side… That’s why I need you to help me learn how to fight against Sir Mordred.”
She seemed to be begging as she spoke, using what little confidence she had left in order to get her words across.
“Look, I truly do understand where you are coming from Mash and honestly I am sure Mother would empathize with you but… You are now a Human.”
The last thing Mordred wanted to do was insult Mash, she wouldn’t want to be the one to call her useless and to stop trying to force herself to help because he knew that that wouldn’t deter Mash in the slightest… She wouldn’t want to insult her pride like that, but she had to at least help her understand her situation.
“I know you want to help, but even great mages can barely hold off a Servant. Mother at least is constantly protected by her knights, but if you tried to help who knows what could happen-”
“I am aware of that Mordred and…Do you promise me to not tell anyone.”
“W-What do you mean-I already promised you that-”
“Please… Just promise me that you won’t tell anyone this.”
She didn’t know why Mash needed to confirm her secrecy, but that desperate yet fierce look in her eyes confirmed everything she needed to know, she couldn’t deny her that.
“… I promise.”
Without saying anything else, Mash merely took another deep breath before light began radiating from her body, catching the Treacherous Knight off guard as he instinctively got in a combat position before her body began relaxing as amidst the light she saw how Mash changed from her normal outfit to the one she wore when using Galahad’s powers.
For a few seconds she was in complete disbelief as just mere moments ago she had been told that she had completely lost her connection with the Knight of the Grail yet she seemed to have recovered it.
“… Ghhhh-”
But just as fast as that surprise appeared, it began fading as sparks of energy began leaving Mash’s body as she began to shake, Mordred didn’t even hesitate for a second as he immediately rushed at her side moments before she collapsed in his arms.
“Mash!”
The Shield Maiden could barely stand on her legs as almost her entire weight was on Mordred’s body, the knight could hear how ragged her breathing was as she returned to her usual outfit, clinging onto Mordred’s body.
“I-I… I-I am… F-Fine.”
“Like hell you are! Come on, I will take you to the infirmary to-”
“NO!”
Even if completely battered, Mash still used what left she had to shout at Mordred because of that idea before she began to cough a little. Mordred began scanning the room before looking at Mash’s bed, carefully helping her walk to it in order to sit there as she began calming down.
For a few seconds Mordred instinctively held Mash close to her as she breathed heavily to prevent her from falling out of her bed. She merely looked at her with worried eyes, finally understanding why she didn’t want her to tell that to anyone else.
It took a few minutes, but Mash finally returned to her usual self, breathing normally before she kept on looking at the ground solemnly. The silence of the room seemed to be deafening until Mordred decided to talk again.
“…When did you recover Galahad’s powers Mash?”
“… I didn’t.”
“Then how did you do… That?”
Mash seemed to look completely pained by that, almost ashamed of it as she began talking.
“A few weeks after Goetia’s defeat, I tried to manifest Sir Galahad’s powers in a test run by Da Vinci, I seemed to be able to use them before I collapsed like before, albeit almost instantly… Currently I seem to be able to hold that transformation for a minute… I think.”
That explained why upon returning to that form, Mash didn’t seem to say anything as Mordred stared at her; she was trying to keep ahold of it.
“… She told you to not do it again, didn’t she?”
Mash’s sudden silence answered that question simply judging by how she held onto her own skirt as Mordred uttered those words was all she needed to understand.
“Da Vinci cares about me, and I couldn’t be more thankful about it but… I just want to help everyone; I don’t want to be left behind again.”
As she talked, her words seemed to crack. Mordred could see that frustration and sadness that filled her every thought… It was pitiful to see.
“I am sorry if I am dumping all of this to you but… I just didn’t know who else to go to. Da Vinci is the only one who knows that I can do that but Ms. Amelia would just agree with her and people like Father would be too afraid of hurting me if I begged them to train me.”
“And you don’t think I would also be afraid of hurting you Mash?”
Her words sounded cold but were honest, despite how cruel and imposing Mordred was he wasn’t heartless like the one who made him into a weapon… He considered Mash as a friend, and she wouldn’t want to actually hurt her severely.”
“… I went to you because I trust you Sir Mordred… Y-You are someone who I have admired for a long time now… I know you wouldn’t break me, nor treat me as if I was made of glass.”
Yet, Mash’s words were also honest as even if she was desperate as she spoke, everything she said came directly from deep in her heart… Truly digging deep into Mordred’s being as she heard them.
Even though quantifying how much time they had known Mash for was hard, Mordred could confidently say that she was a friend to them, someone who actually took the effort to reach out to them to become their friend… They truly appreciated her like they appreciated people like Jekyll and Fran.
Not many people came to her because they needed her, during most of her life she was merely a Knight at the service of the ideal of her Father, fighting to keep her ideal Kingdom alive against the endless enemies they had… It was the first time someone needed her, not someone else.
“… I am not a good teacher, or even a teacher at all Mash… But if you want someone to help you out, I will do my best.”
Mordred was afraid of hurting their friend, someone that they truly cared about… But they also knew that not being there for her wouldn’t keep her safe either, Mash was truly set on being able to protect her Master once again… So, the least she could do is be there as she slowly returns to that place.
The Shield Maiden didn’t immediately answer as she merely began quietly sobbing at her response, trying her best to muffle her tears before she lounged at her friend in order to tightly hug her as she cried in her shoulder
“T-Thank… Y-You… T-Thank you!”
At first Mordred didn’t know what to do, seemingly freezing as Mash held onto him, but he quickly relaxed and returned her hug, holding onto her as she began crying out of relief… Not saying anything as he tenderly rubbed her back, letting her let all that out.