Work Text:
Benji Dunn was being followed.
It had taken him all of about thirty seconds to figure this out. He’d barely parted with his team in Trafalgar Square when his hackles began to rise, the familiar sense of an intrepid figure, cloaked in shadows, tracing his steps.
Fairly certain that his still-recovering lung would balk at even the most minor confrontation, he decided to press forward. It was hardly his first time being tracked. Years of IMF training had him well prepared for such an eventuality, which coupled with the bustle of central London on a Friday night led to a promising exit strategy.
Feigning ignorance, he continued towards Leicester Square, deliberately darting between swathes of commuters at the crossroads. He didn’t risk a glance over his shoulder, but the pertaining pit in his stomach indicated that the follower remained close. He nonchalantly stepped into a nearby shop (TX Maxx, thankfully packed with tourists), where he absentmindedly pondered over various trinkets, hoping his persistent stalker would have continued on none the wiser.
With no sign of any nefarious figure in the shop, and having decided sufficient time had passed, Benji exited back onto the street, trying to avoid tracking his surroundings. He was prepared to chalk it up to nerves, but he had a gut feeling that the follower remained. Taking a steely breath, at his lung’s grave protest, he stopped walking, ignoring the vague protests of commuters for disrupting their path. Out of the corner of his eye, he was sure he saw another figure, a few paces behind him, stop too. His pulse quickened.
Injured lung be damned, a mix of fear and intrigue led him down an unlit side street, hoping to draw the stalker out. He was hardly one for ego, but he’d just saved the world from nuclear destruction while undergoing a largely improvised lung surgery. He could handle this.
Well disguised foot-steps peaked his attention immediately. He drew in another stilted breath, surreptitiously patting against his trouser leg to check for the reassuring presence of his holstered gun. He turned around sharply.
‘Ok, games up, I know you’re following me. Show yourself.’ He willed his voice not to shake. It did a bit. His follower stepped lightly forward, and Benji braced himself for the worst.
‘Woah, Benji, it’s just me.’ The closer proximity revealed the shorter, not in the least bit menacing figure of his best friend. Benji visibly deflated, his pulse returning to a much safer rate.
‘Oh, Ethan, thank God it’s just you.’ He gave his stalker-turned-friend a once over as Ethan flashed him a sheepish grin. It set Benji’s hackles up again, as realisation dawned on him.
‘Wait, no, what the hell Ethan? Why were you following me? I thought we were doing the whole secret rendezvous thing then going off on our own. I literally thought someone sinister was following me. You nearly gave me a heart attack.’ Benji exclaimed, arms blustering all over the place. Ethan gazed at him fondly.
‘You’re blabbering Benji.’ The agent in question ceased his wittering and articulative gestures, crossing his arms over his chest.
‘That was very bad for my tension pneumothorax.’ Benji pressed. A look of guilt flashed across Ethan’s face. Deciding to overlook the fact that Benji, in fact, no longer had that particular ailment, just the remaining recovering lung, Ethan pressed a gentle hand against the younger agent’s shoulder.
‘I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.’ Benji continued to glare at him a moment longer, before nodding in acceptance. He uncrossed his arms and slumped them against his side.
‘Why were you following me anyway? You could have just, you know, talked to me? Rather than trailing me all the way here.’
‘You know I’d follow you to the end of the world, Benji.’ Ethan flashed him his signature million-watt smile. The one that sent Benji’s heart-rate skyrocketing. He inwardly chastised himself for letting Ethan have this effect on him, all these years later. Come on Dunn, surely that boat had already sailed. He awkwardly averted eye contact.
‘Right. Yeah.’ He said, flustered. ‘Pretty sure that’s the other way round actually.’
‘I’m not so sure.’ Ethan’s smile broadened, doing little to qualm Benji’s predicament. He couldn’t resist the corners of his mouth turning up in amusement. So much for remaining aggravated with the other agent. He tried to compose himself, remain steely.
‘No but seriously. Why?’ Surprisingly, now it was Ethan’s turn to be flustered. It was far more subtle, a gentle flush tracing his face, barely perceptible in the dim side-street. It looked wrong on him. He removed his palm from Benji’s shoulder, taking in a short breath.
‘It’s hard to explain?’ Ethan stated, cryptic as ever. Benji quirked a perplexed eyebrow.
‘Right.’ The silence was short but felt monumental. They both avoided eye contact, Benji awkwardly shuffling his shoe against the slightly wobbly paving slab in front of him. He cleared his throat. ‘Uh, would you like to come back to mine for a bit? No pressure or anything, it’s just quite cold out and this street is a bit grim so might be a bit nicer? It’s in Soho so not far from here, I’ve got tea and some cake. Well, actually, it’s leftover cake my sister sent me and it’s probably gone off now so maybe…’
‘That sounds great, Benji.’ Ethan interrupted, offering a reassuring smile. The younger agent nodded, clasping his hands together.
‘Ok. Cool. It’s this way.’ He strode forward, ahead of Ethan. ‘Apologies in advance if I walk a bit slow, still feeling a bit fragile, you know? Wow, I sound like an old man. I just mean it might not quite be up to pace with Mr Action Hero.’
‘It’s all good, Benji. I’ve seen already, you don’t walk slow.’
‘Right, the stalker thing.’ This elicited a light chuckle from Ethan, for which Benji retorted with a good-humoured groan.
The walk to Benji’s flat was short and largely silent. It was hardly something they were unused to, having travelled covertly from location to location together on numerous occasions. Still, it was a little strange walking together under more casual circumstances. Benji couldn’t help but feel that something was off. Probably that Ethan was in some sort of trouble. That was usually the case. He wasn’t sure his injury could take any more high intensity missions at the moment.
Eventually, they reached the door to Benji’s flat, where Ethan watched bemused as the other agent fumbled with his keys. He was led up a poorly lit staircase, past other flats, smelling vaguely of damp and hemp. Benji’s flat was at the top; an unfortunate location for his still recovering lung.
‘It’s fine. It’s only temporary, I’m only here for another week or so.’ Benji reassured, as he struggled again with the latch to his door. ‘Just needed somewhere to stay for our team meet.’
He managed to pry the door open, immediately stilling in place at the sight of the room. He scratched the back of his neck, bashfully. ‘Um, yeah, sorry, I wasn’t really expecting any visitors, place is a bit of a mess.’
Ethan glanced around, taking in his surroundings. A few dress shirts were strewn haphazardly over an open suitcase in the centre of the room. The bed was unmade, and he noted an array of medicine bottles on the side table. There was also a television in the centre of the room, which appeared to be wired up to a games console, the controller for which was nestled into the bedsheets. It had a distinct, musky but slightly vanillary, Benji smell to it. In fact, the whole place was inexplicably Benji.
‘Don’t apologise. It’s nice here.’ Benji gave a strained laugh in response. He ushered Ethan over to an armchair in the corner of the room, before disappearing round the corner. The sound of a boiling kettle soon made itself apparent.
‘Would you like tea? I assume you probably don’t want the cake. I really sold it to you.’ Ethan grinned, shuffling deeper into the comfort of the chair.
‘Tea would be great, thanks!’ He called back.
‘D’ya want milk or sugar?’
‘No thanks.’
‘Psycho.’ Ethan chuckled in response.
Benji shortly returned, carrying one mug of black tea and another steeped with milk and sugar. He handed Ethan the former, then sat himself on the edge of the bed, badly disguising a grimace. Ethan winced.
‘It’s not that bad. It’s getting better every day.’ Ethan offered him a consolidatory smile. Almost synchronously, they each took a sip from their mugs.
‘So, now we’re here, can you please tell me what’s going on?’ Benji pressed.
‘I really don’t know if I should.’
‘Please.’ The younger agent implored. Ethan sighed, defeated. He shuffled the chair a little closer to where Benji was perched on the bed.
‘I’ve been thinking.’ Ethan paused. Benji tilted his head, listening intently. ‘What happens from here?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What do we do now? Retire? I don’t think I could retire. I don’t want to.’ Benji extended a hand to rest against Ethan’s knee.
‘You don’t have to, then. I’m not going to. I quite enjoyed being team leader. I want to do it again, once this damn injury is healed.’
‘Yeah, you looked after them well.’ Ethan affirmed. He sighed, failing to meet Benji’s gaze. ‘I couldn’t protect them.’
Benji struggled not to choke on his tea. He sputtered slightly, which triggered an uncomfortable twinge in his chest, prompting another grimace. Ethan mouthed a sympathetic ‘sorry’, for which Benji shook his head.
‘What on earth do you mean? You always put your team first.’
‘But they’re gone, Benji. I couldn’t keep them safe.’
‘But…’
‘No, I need to say this.’ Benji sighed with resignation. Ethan continued. ‘I don’t want to retire. I want to keep going. But Ilsa, Luther.’ His eyes subtly clouded over, and Benji lightly caressed against his knee with his thumb.
Ethan locked eyes with the other agent, his gaze intense. ‘I’m not too sure how you come down from preventing the destruction of the world. I mean, yes, we’ve done it before, but not like this. And it’s made me think. Ever since Julia, whenever someone’s tried to get close, I’ve tried to distance myself. I thought they would be safer that way. But apparently that’s not enough to protect them.’ He averted his gaze to visually trace over the medicine bottles next to Benji’s bed. ‘And then I nearly lost you too.’
‘Ethan, none of that is your fault. And I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.’
‘We can’t be sure of that.’ The statement hung heavy in the air. Benji hated to feel its weight, but he knew it resounded true. It had been a close call for them both.
‘Which is why I’ve been thinking.’ Ethan continued. ‘There’s really something I ought to do. I always told myself it was a terrible idea. But I don’t think it is anymore? But then I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. Which is why when you left, I decided I’d go the same way too.’
Benji narrowed his eyes. ‘That makes no sense, Ethan.’
‘I needed time to think things through a little. But I now know that you not knowing doesn’t really keep you any safer. You almost died anyway, in which case what was the point? I might as well just tell you.’ He drew in a breath. ‘The thing is, I guess, I like you?’
‘Well yeah, I should bloody well hope so. We’ve worked together for twenty years.’ Benji laughed, careful not to jostle his side, lest he twinge his lung again. ‘So, you followed me because you like me? This is still super weird, Ethan.’
‘No, as in, I like you. In fact, I think I’m in love with you, Benji.’ All colour immediately drained from the younger agent’s face.
His first instinct was to laugh. He forced that one down, that would be incredibly rude. His second instinct was to be angry. Twenty years he’d been pining over his team leader, watching him seamlessly flirt with Ilsa, then Grace, resolutely forcing himself to bury his feelings. He’d convinced himself it was futile. No hope in hell that his feelings could be reciprocated.
He ended up going with his third impulse, which was to pace around the room, ranting.
‘You what? That’s just, wow.’ He plastered his hands on top of his head, tugging gently at his hair. ‘That genuinely makes no sense. I mean, why?’
‘I understand if you don’t feel the same, of course. I just wanted you to know.’
Benji sputtered. ‘Of course I do. Have you seen you? You’re literally perfect, insanely fit, and somehow you don’t find me completely off-putting, which makes you even more endearing, and did I mention you’re insanely fit?’ The light flush returned to Ethan’s face, causing him to avert his gaze back down towards his tea. Benji gave a disbelieving laugh. ‘You like women.’
‘So?’
Benji scoffed. He removed his hands from his head, gesticulating towards himself.
‘I guess I’m not the only one who’s, what did you say, ‘insanely fit’.’ Ethan retorted. Heat flooded across Benji’s face. He gently sat back onto the edge of the bed, returning his hand to its prior position on Ethan’s knee.
‘You’re serious?’
‘You can always trust me.’ Ethan placed his hand atop Benji’s, mirroring his previous caressing motion. Benji swiped his other hand down across his face, clammy with sweat.
‘Holy shit.’ He choked. He removed his hand from his face before tucking it round the back of Ethan’s head, using it to press their foreheads against each other. Again, it was familiar. They had assumed such a position back on the plane, unsure of whether they’d make it out alive. Now, however, it felt wholly new.
‘So now what, then? I don’t think things can just go back to normal. Not that they would anyway, of course. It’s just, that’s pretty huge. Brilliant, though. I’ve liked you for years. Pretty much since we met, I think. Was it obvious? Sometimes I thought it was obvious, but often you seemed like you had no idea. I never thought you’d like me back. I think…’
He was swiftly interrupted as Ethan closed the minimal remaining distance between them, planting a keen kiss against Benji’s lips. Benji’s rambling was cut off with an initial indignant squawk, before he registered what was actually happening, and was shook with the feeling that he really didn’t want to ruin their first kiss with his wittering. He cut off the tension in his shoulders, applying a light pressure in return against the other agent, using the hand resting against Ethan’s head to run through his neatly trimmed hair.
Damn, Ethan’s honeypot victims were lucky. Ethan kissed like his life depended on it. Fitting, of course. Not too hard, but with the sort of intensity he seemed to apply to everything. It was legions away from the bumbling first kisses of Benji’s past, the two of them slotting effortlessly together. Ethan moved gracefully, with an alluring confidence which the younger agent aspired to match, tracing his tongue lightly against Ethan’s lower lip. He tracked a trace of mint lingering against the other’s mouth, wondering with a swell of delight whether Ethan had prepared for this eventuality.
After what felt like an eternity, yet somehow still not long enough, they parted lips, foreheads continuing to rest lightly against each other. Benji stifled a bewildered chuckle, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. He pressed another brief kiss against Ethan’s cheek.
‘I love you too.’