Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

„There are over 8,2 billion people alive today. And with birthrates on the rise in some countries while being on a steady decline in others along with the globalization, an interesting trend has been detected in the last hundred years. More and more people discover that their soulmate doesn’t share their birth country let alone speak the same language as them. Scientists –”

With an annoyed huff, Y/N put the headphones dangling around her neck back onto her head. There was a reason why the young woman preferred to listen to music or get lost in her own thoughts instead of listening to what was going on around her.

And if there was one thing Y/N currently was in no mood to think about? If she was ever?

It was the topic of soulmates.

Or romance in general, the woman wasn’t that picky right now. It just… wasn’t really her thing. Never had been, and her enthusiasm for it outside of novels and fanfictions had greatly decreased. Or animes. Uhm, let's just say that as long as it was fictional it was okay. As soon as it pertained real life?

It was so not her cup of tea.

Because yes, she was getting pretty close to that dreaded 30, all of her old classmates were either getting married and or had their first or second kid on their way and seemed to be building their own house on top of that. Some of them even had found their soulmates, but most of them fared more like Y/N with that partner promised by the universe nowhere insight.

Now while she admired people for marrying and settling down despite not having met their soulmate yet, thanks to her job she had seen multiple families going through divorce or other things thanks to the universe and… yeah. Her heart went out to the children caught in the crossfire, and in return? After working for ten years as a kindergarten teacher and never having met her own? She was kind of done with the whole concept.

And don’t get her talking about her friends. No matter if she was talking about her online or offline ones, they all were on a whole other spectrum.

Some were living their life the way they wanted to - travelling or indulging in various hobbies. Like, one of her Exe's had gotten a dog, while another friend was getting her drivers license for a motorbike. And a different one was working as a freelancer? And again, two others were busy raising their own children.

And now she was rambling again. Fricking great.

Also, she hadn't even thought about all of her friends and loose acquaintances yet. Y/N was an introverted extrovert, okay? She made connections easily, but it was the keeping in contact part that was the hardest part. Because most of the time when she didn't reach out, people just... stopped.

But back to the point! If there ever had been one.

Just… why had nobody ever said anything on how hard it was to find ones own path? And why the fuck did she feel so inadequate compared to all the people surrounding her? Not that her family made that any easier, but…!

Noticing the way her thoughts had turned, the woman quickly slapped her cheeks. Damnit, this was just what she wanted to escape during this week.

So, maybe it had been a twist of fate that she had been the only one of her friends who had gotten tickets to that particular concert. Especially because it wasn’t even in the country she lived in, because frankly?

Y/N as well as some of the others had agreed that they would rather go to London than Frankfurt. She didn’t know if it would be different if they had tried that date, but… yeah. And it wasn’t even for a lack of trying during what felt like the Hunger Games of K-Pop, despite many of them being interested in other things as well or with how busy they were…

So yes, both of her ex-partners‘ had tried – yes, she was still friends with them and no, she hadn’t had two partners at the same time – and failed, four different friends and… nada. Just no. Just her. She had gotten what felt like the last VIP-Ticket and had booked the hotel and the flight as soon as she had been able to. And while she had hoped that they would try to get a ticket for Day 2, they hadn’t as well. Something about the prices being to high or not heaving enough vacation time left. Or that they had other priorities, which was alright, even if it had been strange when the woman realized that she would be alone on that trip.

And while Y/N had thought about getting the ticket, in the end she had gotten unlucky, with the website crashing multiple times while she was at work and since the woman wasn’t working in an office job – yeah.

Let’s just say that she still believed herself terrible lucky to have gotten that first ticket during her lunch break. She was only happy that she and her boss got along pretty well, because managing lunch time with a bunch of preschoolers as well as getting that ticket?

Well, the disaster with the second day already proved that it was impossible. But Y/N really was just glad that she could see them one time. That was better than nothing.

Now most of her online friends had tickets to other shows in Europe, like Vi had been to Frankfurt with her older sister and niece. Also yes, she had seen the videos from there and she couldn't wait for her own experience. And Kate was going to Rome with her kid and... yeah.

Stay all around the world, right?

Also, like she had said, she had had taken a whole week off, with the concert right in the middle of it. So she was going to go to Madam Tussauds, take part in a Jack the Ripper London Tour, look at the Buckingham Palace, visit the Tower of London and Westminster Abbey, ride the London Eye and she even had a Harry Potter Tour booked.

And maybe she had never travelled on her own and maybe her time table was packed full, but… she had no idea when and if she would get to London again, so… why not combine most of the things that interested her? Also she had to use the chance that she was alone! That way she wouldn't have to consider anyone else's wants and needs.

So yes, with her headphones playing her favourite songs and suitcase in hand, Y/N ignored the big screen above her as she looked towards google maps. The woman wanted to find her way to her B&B as fast as possible so that her vacation could finally, truly begin.

Little did she know what would happen or maybe she would have listened to the scientist and news reporter going on and on about soulmates and current developments. But… that is all hindsight now, is it?

Long story short, the first part of her vacation was simply amazing. She had been able to see a lot of the places she had wanted to. Like, the Jack the Ripper tour had been spooky and eery and so thrilling that Y/N couldn’t help but make notes, contemplating about writing her next piece of fanfiction in old Victorian England. Or maybe with a serial killer, regarding on how inspiration struck her.

Speaking of spooky – it was really a bit concerning with how real the wax figures in Madam Tussauds looked. Like, she had made a few selfies with them and… yeah. Disconcerting. Sooo… that probably wouldn’t be a place she would return to soon.

As for Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace and the London Bridge – they were quite fascinating from an architectural standpoint and all the history she had managed to catch a glimpse of? Simply fantastic.

The only thing that Y/N really hadn’t been too fond of where the crowds and masses of people. Even with her headphones on, sometimes with music, sometimes without, well… it didn’t make it that much easier. Just, usually she was more of a homebody and 100 % introvert, but the woman had figured that venturing out was probably a good trial for when she had to face humans during the concert.

Which was today.

And all in all? It was magic.

Pure, and simple magic.

Alone during the soundcheck, watching the members of Stray Kids testing the sound system while interacting with the fans made her feel giddy. Watching Seungmin tease Changbin for something or the other and run away, cackling like a madman? Or seeing Hyunjin do part of the choreography but in tiny? LeeKnow and Han goofing around while I.N shook his head looking at them? Seeing Chan smiling at the fans, winking at times? And when Felix at one point waved in what looked to be right her direction?

Yup. Pretty sure that was what ascension felt like. Pure and simple.

So, in her opinion? Every penny, cent, dollar, whatever – it had been worth it. And more than that. Y/N was so ecstatic about everything that at times she even forgot to film everything with her phone. Which she had promised to do, so her friends who had stayed home could enjoy at least bits and pieces of it too.

The soundcheck ended far too soon in her opinion and the time until the concert seemed to pass so unfathomably slow that at some point, the woman wanted to rip her hair out.

And while she did make some small talk with other Stays that were standing in line with her – like, there were some even coming from Bulgaria or France or Poland and it was amazing to goof off with people who for once were as in love with the same music and artists she cherished and listened to – there were some that… let’s just say there was this rather large group of young adult girls that she rather stayed clear off.

But sadly, since Y/N had gotten a really amazing number, she couldn’t really avoid listening to them since they had gotten those directly after her. Especially since like an idiot she had forgotten to charge her power bank and needed her remaining power for photos and videos, but more importantly – for getting back to the hotel. Her music... nooooooooo....

Though getting stranded in London in the middle of the night? Nope, that was not part of her plans.

But still… listening to those girls talk made her want to shower. Like bad. “You know, I'm so happy that we get to be at the front!” One of them gushed. It was the pink-haired one, with high heels so high that Y/N would probably die in, because she would walk one step, trip and break her neck. “Or how else would I finally be able to touch Changbin and prove that he’s my soulmate?! This is my fifth concert and I just know that if I get the chance…!” The others around her started to giggle and fawn, going on and on about what they would do and how one of Stray Kids surely – right.

Someone had clearly forgotten their Delulu pills.

Because having an idol as a soulmate? Hah! Talk about hallucinations! While that sounded great on paper and was a really popular trope in fiction, all the implications? The danger to said artist career? The language barrier? The sasaengs and press and time difference and their stressful schedules?

Yeah… no. Like hell no!

Y/N thought herself mature enough to stay clear from those daydreams. Did she have her weak days? Especially after her last break up and the rejection issues that had started to surface? Again? Like… her most recent ex had been close friends with her her whole life but… when Phi had told her that she was dumping her because of… reasons, like how Y/N hadn’t had her whole future figured out yet… right. She had thought that after being friends with each other for almost twenty years meant that Phi knew how hard Y/N struggled with naming her dreams and how she felt unsure and... fuck it.

Nope. Not going down that path again. Or she would spiral and her rejection issues would show their ugly heads again.

That had been more than half a year ago. And she had dealt with it. Had done a lot of healing. They were friends again. And everything was fine. For their friend group, she had to be fine. And she was. Totally. Everything was a-okay!

Right.

When Bubblegum and her Henchwomen from hell let out a hysterical set of giggles – probably dreaming about their life's as a stay at home mom in the bosom of luxury or something which was quite ridiculous – Y/N couldn't help but flinch.

And maybe feel sorry for their future partners. Like... hell no, would she ever want someone as snobby as that in whatsoever relationship. Gracious no.

To her relief, the people before her in line looked uncomfortable or disgusted as well. The girl next to her – she looked even younger than the Power Puff Girls on LSD – just shook her head. Y/N could even tell how that girl turned to the others, probably her friends, and said “If I ever turn out like them, please slap me.”.

Yeah. Same, same.

It was in that moment and Y/N couldn't help but let out a breathe of relief. Because that was a very, very nice sentiment. So, without further hesitation, she took out her smartphone and shot that message to her different friend groups – and before anyone judged, they were only two. Online and offline aka Stay and Non-Stay. She only hesitated for a few moments before shooting it to the one with her recent ex as well. Like she had said, they were friends. So why shouldn't she?

Luckily, the first one to react was her friend Vi, sending her a gif of a cartoon figure giving a thumbs up. It was clear that the freelancer would stick to that promise. And when Y/N saw a message from another friend in which said woman was apparently cackling loudly followed by a reminder to make as many videos as possible for their Staychat, she let out another sigh. The others would probably all answer over the course of the afternoon, so she turned off her phone in hopes of saving a bit of energy.

Then again... Looking at the stalkerish fanatics in training, the woman couldn't help but shudder again. Stay at home mom? Living on the salary of your partner and doing nothing else? Yeah, no matter how much Bubblegum and the Maniacs were currently spiralling into their little fantasies, it sounded... yeah, just not Y/N's cup of tea. Also, her mother had been at home for like ten years because of her and her brother and... she would never, ever risk even remotely turning into something slightly similar to her. No, thank you.

And she really was just happy that the idols in question hopefully never got to hear what this particular set of hormone driven idiots had to say about them.

Because yikes... poor Changbin.

Although... if she was completely honest she was looking to see that bicep flexed on stage and his dance to his solo song and... great. Now she had agreed with those ludicrous delulu girls. Great. Where was the next shower again?

A few hours and some text messages to her friends plus her neighbour who was looking after her two cats – as well as her having shoved her elbow in one of Bubblegum's lackeys faces – Y/N had finally made it.

She. Was. Standing. Directly. AT. THE. FRONTLINE!! At the barricade! Right in front of the stage! With a clear and unbothered view of... well, EVERYTHING!!!

And while she was a bit sorry for everyone smaller than her? Y/N didn't really regret the reason why Yes, she was wearing her only pair of platform sneakers since she had wanted to make sure that she would be able to see something. Because yeah, she was not small by female standards, but she had feared she would get one of the highest numbers and wouldn't be able to anything and...

Once again, she couldn't believe how lucky she was. And the woman could always take off her shoes. It wasn't like anyone from SKZ would see that she was standing there in her socks.

And she wasn't going to move an inch away from this spot until the concert had ended. For that she had run too hard and stumbled quite a bit and... yeah, once again, she was more than a bit lucky to have gotten this spot. Because Y/N really wasn't a sprinter and the most sports she did was during work when she played with the children and... moving on because concert! Stray Kids Concert!

Maybe she had said it already, but this? This felt like a dream come true. Maybe even like fate. At least a feeling in her gut was telling her that, but she was quick in squishing that down. Most of the time said emotion had helped but not so much in recent times.

Also, she had more important stuff to focus on.

Again, had she known what would happen, maybe she would have acted differently. But once again, that is hindsight, isn't it?

Then, the show started.

And while she had watched two fanmeetings and one concert on Beyond Live, nothing could compare to see it all play out live and in front of her. It felt like a constant adrenaline and dopamine rush and all she could do was hold up her phone in hopes of filming small portions so she would have something to remember this whole night by.

Because the opening song, seeing Stray Kids come onto the stage, hearing them sing and perform and be near enough to see them smile so wide that she feared their faces would split in two at points? Nothing, absolutely nothing beat that feeling in her chest. And all that energy those men showed, it was reflected a hundred times back by the audience.

Everyone around her was either screaming or singing along and Y/N couldn't help but join, possibly butchering the Korean words beyond compare.

And while they all were taking her breath away, Han seemed to shine even more brightly tonight than ever before. Yes, she was OT8 and he was her main bias but to her, the rapper had always stood out a bit more than the others. Han just intrigued her, though she didn't really understand why. The man was just an amazing human and that was enough of a reason to her.

He was radiant.

Like a star that had come down from the heavens to shine on this stage for just a short amount of time. At least in her eyes. Yes, he was her bias and usually always the first one she found in a picture or where her eyes strayed to. Despite that, Y/N couldn't help how her heart seemingly wanted to jump out of her chest.

And listening to their duo stages was like a dream come true. While nothing would ever beat “Volcano” and “Alien” in her mind and she would sell her soul to see him perform those two live, “Truman” had a very special place in her heart and she could feel the smile almost split her face. Because that song? Han and Felix' raps, the red smoke, his voice, the outfits, just everything? Yeah, it felt like she was touching a live wire and burning from within, filled with an energy that she hadn't experienced before.

Once more, she felt lucky that none of her friends were here, because they would tease her relentlessly for how she was acting.

And when the unit song ended and transitioned over to the next one, “Burning tires”? Amazing. Just... so, so amazing.

Had she screamed? Yes.

Would she feel that the next day? Absolutely, but again, she wasn't going to rue that for one moment.

Over the course of the next stages, all that euphoria took root deep in her heart, as if it wasn't intending to ever leave her again. As if that feeling of joy would be accompany her for the rest of her life.

Also, maybe she had blushed so hard during Chan and Hyunjin's stage, but... who hadn't? Huh?! The both of them were amazing! And then the part with the sheets!! Yes. That was the point.

Also, no she wasn't forgetting Seungmin and Minho with Cinema. Y/N had legitly started crying when she had seen the both of them lying down. And sung her lungs out, just like the vocalist had asked in that one life such a long time again.

So yes, all in all it was amazing. Magical even.

And Y/N was flying on cloud 9999 or something, and for sure wasn't coming down any time soon. If ever. Like, this was her home now!

Especially, when at one point Han jumped down from the stage into the area of the security and started goofing around with Stays. Touching their hands, taking their cameras for selfies, just normal fanservice stuff.

So when he came to a stop directly before her, giving her the widest grin possible while taking her phone for a quick photo, Y/N could feel how her heart wanted to literally escape her chest. There was a flash and then the smartphone was given back.

She could feel how his fingers grazed hers and then?

There was a tingling, then it spread until her wrist, where it settled in a warm hum that seemed to envelope her whole body.

Once more, Y/N felt like she was vibrating with joy, because a selfie? With Han out of all people?! That was more than she had ever dared of dreaming and...! She couldn't help but press her phone against her chest, unsure on just how to describe that feeling that was settling in her chest.

That was until she looked at her wrist that still seemed to emit warmth. Fondness. Joy. Comfort.

And in an instant, all that joy and happiness evaporated, leaving nothing but dread and shock behind.

Because right there, under the tattoo on her left arm was a small music note in colour of the night sky.

Shit.

That was not good.

Because while the note looked beautiful, like Y/N could even see the milky way sparkle in the dark blue colour, and she would have loved to have that picture tatted on her body? Well, the look of it and how she could still feel joy and happiness coming from it?

There was no way this thing could be anything but a soulmate mark.

Again shit.

And once more – this was not good!

Glancing around in a panic, Y/N could see that everyone was too entranced by what was happening on stage to have noticed her swiftly but surely stumbling into a hysteric spiral. Like, there was no way. There was simply no way that after Han had touched her for like 2 seconds a mark had appeared. No. Way.

Stuff liked that only happened in the soap operas her parents enjoyed, real shitty romance books or media and sometimes slightly better or even shittier fanfiction. Did she enjoy reading those at times? Well, she wasn't going to deny that!

But... but... but...!

All those protagonists were beautiful. Intelligent. Talented. Self-assured. They had their life's together. Had high paying jobs or were trust fund babies. Had connections, family or friends in high places that could help their soulmate and...

She had nothing of that.

Was nothing like that.

Y/N wasn't anything special. She earned enough to pay for the roof over her head and to put food into her and her cats' bellies while enjoying her few hobbies. As for connections or... no.

Again, there wasn't anything like that.

So all she could do was stare, panic and hysteria bubbling in her chest, at the man who was shining so brightly up there on the stage. Han was magnificent and he truly belonged up there. He owned it in a way she couldn't describe it. And what was most important – up there, among his members – the man was happy. And going from the emotions that came from the mark it was the true kind of happiness.

The one the woman still hadn't found.

With her thoughts going back to all the arguments she had made about why having an idol as a soulmate, her heart felt heavier and heavier. Tears were threatening to fall as Y/N did everything she could to keep herself together.

So this was what crash landing from cloud 9999 felt like.

Because having her as a soulmate? A foreigner, someone not completely familiar with Korean customs, their language or their history? Older as well, not fitting into this centuries beauty standards and boringly ordinary who seemingly just won the universal lotto? Heck, her singing was just good enough for a group of 3 to 6 year old children, but nothing more. Too often had she heard from friends, colleagues and even her own family that her voice made people want to run for the hills. But wait, no time to get side tracked by the small details about why this was...

That was more than just a scandal.

It was a fully blown disaster. Like the size of Hiroshima. Or Pompeii. Meaning, going from older cases were that stuff had gotten official by accident or on purpose, it would affect the whole group. Each and every one. As well as their managers and...!

And that was something she couldn't do to those eight amazing men. They had been on the rise in recent years and she wouldn't, couldn't be the reason for their first real scandal.

Only over her dead body.

Moving more on autopilot than anything else, Y/N shoved her smartphone along with her hand into the pocket of her skirt. That way, nobody could catch a glimpse of it. Nobody would know. Nobody would see. Some way or the other, she would make that possible. Whatever it takes and all that shit.

The rest of the concert passed by in what felt like a blur. Like, she could hear the songs, even managed to plaster a what was hopefully convincing smile on her face while the crowd around her continued to go wild along with the Kids on stage. And while she enjoyed listening to the songs, Y/N couldn't help but spiral down some train of thoughts she had wished to never revisit, but...

Time and time again she had to shake herself out of those stupors, still not knowing what she was supposed to do. Like... nothing she had ever experienced or read had given her any idea and...

Was it pitiful that she thought that at one point Felix had noticed that she was acting off? Probably. And most likely her imagination. But Y/N could have sworn that at one point during the first encore stage that the dancer had been looking at her with a strange look in his eyes.

But what she definitely wasn't imagining was how the warm emotion coming from the mark had started to change during the rest of the concert. And while Han hadn't shown any change except that he had started to glance towards LeeKnow more often – and the other was looking back as well – there was something like worry seeping through the music note. Anxiety.

Which in turn made her stomach sour that much more and at one point she felt close to vomiting. The poor man hadn't even met her and she was already making things harder for him. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. This was not good.

Though no matter how much she tried to calm herself or send some calm through the mark – and how the fuck did authors always make it sound so easy and instinctive?! She had no idea what she was doing and it clearly wasn't working and fuck – going from how the emotion coming from the note didn't change, she was doing a piss poor job. Great.

When she finally exited the concert hall as one of the last people – because she had been in the front line and she was dragging her feet because she literally didn't know what to do – it felt like she was in some kind of trance.

As if her body and mind finally activated the emergency protocol, so now everything felt just kind of numb. Almost as if she was there, but not at all. Or not really. It felt a bit like she was seeing someone take control of her body, with her watching herself move and stuff. Maybe that should alarm her, but... Y/N couldn't even do that at the moment.

So, as soon as she had left the stadium, she sat down.

Direct in front of the entrance.

And while some people gave her strange looks or glanced at her – Y/N even believed that someone or even multiple people had asked her if she was fine, but once more, she wasn't really sure – most probably thought that she was coming off from a concert high or something.

If only that was the case. Oh, how desperately she wished that this was true.

Instead, she just sat there as the crowds thinned around her and the place before the concert hall got emptier and emptier. And while she really should have started to move, she... just couldn't. All her anxieties were echoed back through the mark and the woman felt powerless. In a way that she hadn't even during her last break up or during her childhood.

It was as if her whole being had been put in survival mode. All while the phone in her hand – yes, she was still clutching it like her life depended on it with her hand shoved into her pocket – continued to buzz. Which was probably thanks to her friends. Who knew that the concert should have ended a while ago.

What time exactly, she wasn't sure as she didn't even remember at what time she had walked out of the pit. But she promised them all little films and a glowing review and...

Shit.

She had forgotten to continue filming. Fuck. So not only was she a terribly soulmate, she was an even more idiotic friend for not even managing to do the one thing literally all of her friends had asked her to do.

Right. She was starting to spiral again. Just how was she supposed to get to her B&B like this? Her legs felt like jelly and she was feeling so light-headed, stomach clenching with her right hand shaking, that she wasn't even sure how she was supposed to stand up!

“Excuse me, Miss?” At first, Y/N wasn't sure if the speaker had meant her. But when a hand was laid on her shoulder, it was the final nudge for her to startle out of her thoughts.

Looking up, she saw the face of what looked like a middle-aged Korean man. But that was only a guess since with the exception of the guys eyes, she couldn't make out much of the others face. Might be due to the fact that he was wearing a mask as well as a cap in the middle of the night. Then again, she had seen stranger people in far more impracticable clothing, so... who was she to judge?

Especially since she was only now realizing that her feet were killing her. A fact that was thanks to her not being used to be standing in platform sneakers for multiple hours on top.

So Y/N, gathering all the composure she had ever possessed, cleared her throat. Wouldn't be good if she made more of a fool out of herself than she already was. Stupid cosmos and his shitty sense of humour. “Yes? How can I help you?” And hey, kudos to her! Her voice was only cracking a little, which she counted as a major win in this situation. She had even made the effort to stand up in an attempt to look not completely as pathetic as she felt, which... she hadn't fallen down again despite her shaking legs, so... that was a win?

Despite that, the man gave her a once over. And no he wasn't even trying to hide it, which... great. Thank you very much. She knew that she wasn't Germany's next Topmodel. That she probably looked like trash warmed once over, her clothes dusty from the ground and her make-up was surely not on par with an actress any more, but... No need to rub that in. Especially since the guy kept eyeing her hand that was still hidden in the pocket of her skirt. And don't ask her how she managed to stand up without using it. She had literally no idea how.

But before Y/N could snap at the man for eyeing her like that, the security guy – or at least she thought so – cleared his throat as well. “We've received a report that a distressed looking woman was sitting outside of the stadium after the concert has ended.”

Oh no. Oh no, please, dear god and all the saints and everyone above, this couldn't be true. Hot shame started to flood her whole being. This couldn't be happening. There was no way someone had seen her and deemed her pathetic enough to alert security.

Just what was her life at this point?

Ignorant of the turmoil inside of the woman, the security guard continued. “Which is why we would like to talk to you in a more private setting about what could have happened to you that put you in this state.” Ha. Haha. Ha. Hell no.

First off, and here she could feel her ire and snark come back to life, there was no way she was going to talk with someone who was speaking to her in a tone she wouldn't even use on the most stubborn three-year-old in her care. And secondly, there was no way she would tell a literal stranger about what had happened.

So, when she started to contemplate on how to tell the man to fuck off – but in bit of a nicer way – the man's eyes grew hard. “Please don't make this any harder for me than it already is. I got alerted of a situation and it's in my job description to make sure that nothing happened to the fans attending this concert. So if you would please come with me.”

Right. That sure sounded not fishy. At all.

But... knowing when to give up, she let out a sigh. “Alright. If you insist, I can follow you. But I assure you, nothing happened.” Then, as an afterthought she added. “And if you do anything with or to me that I don't consent with, I'm going to break your nose and blind you temporally. Are we clear?” Alright, maybe she wouldn't do exactly that. Especially since she didn't have her keys with her and thus didn't have anything she could use as an impromptu weapon.

But she knew how to activate the emergency settings of her smartphone and with her hand still in her pocket, it would be pretty easy to do that. Which was a much more peaceful option, but... seeing the security guard flinch at her threat was somehow oddly satisfying.

Then again... which security guard... alright. No. She wasn't going to think about that. Also, there was literally no way that this evening could get any more bizarre, so... with another heavy sigh and feeling a bit clearer than Y/N knew for god how long, the woman started to follow the man.

Fun fact. It got even more bizarre.

Of freaking course.

Because after trailing behind the maybe-security guard for quite a while, she was put in an office and told to wait. There was also a small speech about how someone would come for her surely, but Y/N had just zoned out at this point.

For one, there was no way that she was just being kidnapped. She and the man had passed too many security cameras on their way and she had made sure to wave at every single one of them. Also, they all had moved and the small red light had been on, so the probability of them being broken or off were pretty low.

Alright, maybe she had watched too much Detective Conan, Criminal Minds, True Crime and other stuff. Or maybe not enough, since she had still gotten up and went with a man in a mask and a baseball cap. Right... and she had just participated in a Jack the Ripper tour.

There was no way she could tell any of her friends about that. They would rip her a new one for this stunt, she just knew it.

So... now she was sitting here.

Alone.

In a strange office she was unfamiliar with.

Again. Great.

And yes, she wasn't locked in here, she had checked. If the door had been, she would have taken the heaviest thing she could have found in here and hid next to the door. Even if she would have been able to down only one possible opponent, they would at least know that she wasn't someone to be trifled with.

Maybe that was also just her nerves talking, because it wasn't happening, but... yeah.

At least, she had a clock on the wall so now Y/N knew the time at least. Also, unsurprisingly, it was pretty late. Like, at this hour, she should have been either sitting in the bus on her way to the B&B. Or already in bed, if she had been lucky.

So, with stress and anxiety coming from the music note on her wrist as well, she couldn't help but bury her face in her hands. This was really a trip gone south, wasn't it? Right now, she wished that she had anybody with her, even if that would make the whole situation much more complicated.

Because with all the fear and panic and irritation swirling inside of her, mixing in a dangerous way, Y/N couldn't help but feeling rejected already. As if it was only a matter of time, until even the one person the universe had picked out for her would would declare that she was on her own. That they still were there, but only if this, that and those things happened.

Theme of her life, really.

So, when the clock said that it was almost half past two in the morning – the woman had been sitting here for an hour already – she had had enough. Part of her worries had turned into anger, sizzling in her veins, and all she wanted was to fall into her bed and sleep for what would hopefully be a week. So she stood up, grabbed pen and paper and started to write down her name, phone number and home address. Because she had no idea what was going on any longer and if or what plan they were playing.

Huffing she pulled her left hand out of her pocket for the first time in hours. And when Y/N was finished, she put the piece of paper in the middle of the desk. That way, nobody would miss it.

It was in that exact moment, the door behind her opened.

Chapter Text

To say that this concert had went as Han Jisung, youngest member of 3RACHA, fifth-oldest member of Stray Kids, rapper and so-called male ace of the 4^th generation of K-Pop, had thought would be a crass understatement. It was comparable to telling someone that being eaten by a crocodile was just a bit alarming. Or that a tsunami was just a minor disturbance.

And it wasn't even that he noticed immediately, to his chagrin.

Or, in fact he had felt that extra surge of happiness coming from his wrist. The warmth, the euphoria and the joy, but he had just thought that a fan had done something that Minho had found even more amusing than usual. Or maybe one of their group mates had pulled a stunt that left his soulmate particular happy. They were numerous incidents and stuff, a whole lot that could have improved the dancers mood even more.

What had alarmed him was when a big part of those positive emotions suddenly changed. Drastically. In an instant. Vanished. Poof. Completely gone.

Like, they did a 180 in a few seconds, and the man had to keep himself from stumbling, since it was quite the whiplash he had gotten from it. It took also a lot out of him to not whip around to look if something had happened to Minho. If the man had caught a glimpse of one of their stalkers in the crowd and frozen. They had like four particular aggressive ones that tended to follow them to each and every concert, sent them concerning messages on bubble and through blocked numbers – alright, he was not thinking about that or he would spiral even further.

But looking at Minho had just proven that the man was still enjoying himself. In fact, at that moment he had been dousing Seungmin with his whole water bottle. In any other situation Jisung would have laughed so loud that his stomach hurt.

And the joy he felt coming from his wrist, well the picture before him clearly explained that.

But... it didn't the sheer terror that was swirling along with it.

Which was immensely confusing, made his anxiety spike up, which in turn led to that happiness to concern. Meaning, now terror and concern were coming from that stupid mark and Jisung felt like he was losing his mind.

It was only thanks to his acting lessons that the rapper managed to keep himself from losing it during the rest of the concert. And it was hard. He could feel Minho looking at him concerned, but he had no real time to talk his soulmate. At one point, even the others seemed to pick up on that something was strange. Chan was sending him worried glances as well and Yongbok also seemed to have noticed something.

It was maddening since this clearly wasn't the time or space for it. But again, there was nothing he could do except grit his teeth and endure.

So, when it was finally time to leave the stage after their third and final encore, the man was exhausted. Bone-tired. And all he wanted to do was go back to their hotel, crash and sleep until they had to be on stage tomorrow again. But before that...

Someone grabbed his hand and looking up, he could see Minho looking at him, face in a frown. “What the hell happened up there?” His soulmate sounded worried beyond belief which only added to the stress that was piling up inside of the rapper. As well to his confusion. So he just hissed at the other. “I should ask you that!” When the older just blinked, looking confused, Jisung nodded towards the wrist. The very same one his soulmate had just in his grip. “I suddenly felt you panicking, so I thought something happened to you!” Yes, this was hissed.

Because despite their group-mates, their families as well as the inner circle of their management knowing, their bond was something nobody discussed outside outside of closed doors. And while their fans speculated – heck, they even called themselves soulmates in front of the cameras as if to hide in plain sight – it was better if that didn't come to light.

Their home country wasn't progressive enough for that. And it had been agreed by them and their managers back when they debuted that this fact should be kept under wraps as much as possible. Which was why JYP had eliminated in the first place. Their boss had claimed that it would be easier if there weren't any fated pairs in the group and that Minho was the logically choice to go, since Jisung was a part of 3RACHA and... remembering everything that happened back then still broke Jisungs' heart. And that wasn't even mentioning how little support he had gotten from his parents since then.

His soulmate hadn't deserved it. Neither had Felix for that matter, but...

The rapper didn't want to think about how everything would have gone if Chan hadn't literally went to war in an effort to get both of their members back on the team. And it had worked, something they all were immensely grateful for. Like he said, he never wanted to imagine what his life would be like without the two of them. They were his soulmate and his twin and...

Then all that other stuff and... well, now they were eight and that was great and all. So it was best not to dwell on it too long.

So yes, thank you very much that all those strangers or mild acquaintances around him didn't know Korean or were too busy to listen in. Even though the last hissed sentence didn't clear any of the confusion on Minho's face. “What are you talking about, Jisung-ah? You were the one who started to get anxious during our performance of 'Miroh'! I only started to get worried when I felt you spiralling but couldn't see why!” Now... that wasn't right. Because Jisung could clearly remember that the terror had started during 'District 9'. Shortly after he had come back from mingling with the fans.

In that moment, he wanted to open his mouth but another flash of fear mixed with deep uncertainty came from his wrist. And when he winced, looking at Minho as if searching what had happened to the other man, only a confused and worried pair of eyes was looking back at him.

Which didn't add up to what was coming from the mark.

Or at least not wholly. Because when he closed his eyes, there was that worry. That confusion. Along with what felt like waves of calm that were purposefully sent his way. It was a skill the dancer had perfected when Jisung had been on a Hiatus due to his mental health and...

It was just... the other emotions were too loud. Made it hard to feel what Minho was feeling.

But... if those didn't come from the man before him.

A dreadful thought started to sneak up on Jisung. Like... no. No, that couldn't be true. He couldn't be unlucky. One of the documentaries he had watched years ago had clearly stated that the odds of having a soulmate were roughly around 70 % and out of those, only like 15 % found theirs before their thirtieth birthday.

Something about globalization and birthrates and Jisung couldn't really remember everything that clearly right now. Only that there were circa 70 % who were born with a soulmate – there was even a test were you could check now, so thank you science – 29 % who were born without one and the remaining 1 % who were born with more than one.

They had gotten their blood tested, with him having the highest score of Adelfesyxin in his blood works while their maknae had the lowest in fact. Like, his doctor had joked that his syches gland – the one that produced that hormone – had been the highest he had seen outside of his studies. Which... Jisung didn't really know what was so funny about.

And yes, they all had been tested. With different amounts of protest because that needle had gotten inserted right into their arms and each of them had gotten a huge bruises from the injections. When reminded of that, Hyunjin still started to wail about how he had a scar.

The dancer hadn't, just to be clear.

According to the test results, out of all of them only Jeongin didn't have one, a fact their maknae enjoyed very much. Had said that it made things easier for him as an idol and that way, he didn't have to be to careful. It was also what Seungmin bemoaned, stating that he wanted to wholly focus on their career and his skills and that he didn't have time for a soulmate.

At least not now. Which was why the man was always either wearing gloves when they were out or was just not that keen on touching others.

Which was true for most of them, if Jisung was honest. So he could understand their older vocalist when he eyed the gloves with a longing when they were about to hold a fansign or a concert. Because – and that had been stated by the company often during their trainee days – while fostering the para social relationship their fans had with them, they also had to sell the fantasy that maybe one of those lucky fans found out that they were their soulmate.

Luckily, the percentage of that becoming reality wasn't really that high, as far as Jisung knew. Because most of the time you met because you were working in the same business, so while a few of the idols he knew had foreigners as their soulmate, they all worked in the music industry.

And Jisung had always thought himself lucky, because he had already found his very own during his teenage years. In his group-mate, in the first person outside of Chan he had felt completely comfortable with. No offence to Changbin or any of the others, but Minho had... he had been special. Is still special. In his opinion, there was no better person that just fit him. That accepted him. Just the way he was.

So no. That was impossible.

But when Jisung shook off his soulmates hand and started to rub off the foundation he always put on each and every morning right after waking up. In the seven years since the both of them had touched for the first time, he had never forgotten.

Not a single time.

So, when the make-up finally smudged and revealed not only the moon that had been at home right there since before they had debuted together, the rapper felt his heart drop. Because there, right next to Minho's mark, another one was sitting.

A music note.

In the colour of a nebula.

Instantly, the rapper felt his stomach drop. Felt the panic coming from his mark... marks intensify as Minho saw the second mark as well. Which... no. Just... no. This couldn't be possible. This had to be some really bad joke, like the one with the T-Rex during an interview.

Or the spider.

Or that with the police and – alright, their was a whole lot of pranks that had been played on them under the guise of entertainment, but this? This was by far the most nightmarish of them.

Before he could say or do anything, Minho grabbed his wrist again and started to pull him away. He sped past a few of their confused looking members, staff, make-up artists and other people. All while Jisung couldn't help but feel numbness starting to creep over his whole body.

Because this couldn't be true. This couldn't be real. All of this had to be a nightmare and he would wake up soon.

Surely.

When they finally arrived in their dressing rooms – and Minho was quick to close and lock the door behind them so nobody would be able to come in – Jisungs' mind felt totally blank. Normally, that would have been a welcome change, because there were always too many thoughts racing through his head. Making him question the simplest things and overthink a lot of stuff.

But now?

The only thing that seemed to have enveloped him was pure and utter dread. Because unlike Seungmin or Chan, he had always thought that he would never have to fear this particular scenario. Looking at his wrist, realizing that a mark was there and not knowing where it come from. Or who it belonged to.

Because he already had a soulmate. The perfect soulmate in fact, even if that sounded cringe as hell. And having more than one was so rare that Jisung had never considered that he would fall in that small percentage. 

Stupid high dosage of that stupid hormone. Stupid doctor, stupid, stupid, stupid.

And he really didn't know what had the person on the other end of the mark so terrified, but it really wasn't helping with the jitters and shivers that were running down his body. It was as if his limps wanted to compensate for the lack of buzzing in his head and. He. Didn't. Know. How. TO. STOP. IT!

“Jisung, how?” And while normally Minho laying his hands on his face would have been the perfect method to ground him, to put all those jitters and nerves to rest and make him feel more calm, in this moment it only added to them.

Because wasn't getting a second mark being unfaithful to the dancer? Even if it hadn't been his choice? Oh god, Jisung didn't even need the mark, he could already imagine just how hurt the other must be feeling. And it was there, along with the shock and confusion – plus whatever was coming from the second mark, but Jisung was blocking that out as well as he could – and oh shit. He was such a failure as a soulmate and...

Again, this was a nightmare.

When the rapper just opened his mouth and instead of words, only a breathy wheeze came out – because they were gone. Just gone. How could he make it clear to the love of his life that he didn't want it. That he never ever had wanted this to happen and that it felt like his world was suddenly crashing and burning down all around him?

But apparently the other saw something in his eyes, because instead of another question, the dancer just leaned his forehead against Jisung's. “Hannie, please. Breathe and tell me what happened, alright?” There, the little crack in the others voice at the end, it made the rapper want to cry. Really, he would say it time and time again, but he clearly didn't deserve the man. Minho should have been given the world and instead...

“I don't know...” Yes, his words were still nothing more than a wheeze. But at least he was managing to get them out. “It was during 'District 9' when I suddenly started feeling this terror and... I don't know what happened!” And wasn't that the truth? Because again, it should be impossible!

Jisung didn't know a single person with two soulmates. And thanks to being an idol he had met a whole ton of people and... this just couldn't be real. He couldn't be hurting Minho like this!

But instead of voicing the pain that the rapper could feel coming from the mark, the dancer just nodded. “That was shortly after you mingled with the fans, wasn't it?” When Jisung gave a hesitant nod, the other closed his eyes, clearly trying to keep himself together. And probably to hold back from swearing up a storm. “Alright, this isn't good.” Well, yes. Which was exactly the problem Jisung had.

Because putting the fact aside that he already had a soulmate he was quite happy with – and he even the thought hurt like a dagger rammed straight into his chest and twisted multiple times – getting a mark that way?

And while Jisung loved his fans dearly, he wasn't blind to the more... let's call them problematic ones. The more popular they had gotten, the larger that percentage had gotten.

So this? This felt like the prologue to a horror movie. The making of a new stalker. Being connected to a person that was probably so hung up of the concept or the fantasy of having an idol as a soulmate, that talking, working and just existing with them would become nothing more than a nightmare. Especially since they weren't in South Korea right now.

Oh god, he was going to vomit.

While there was a gurgle escaping his throat, there was a knock on the other side of the door. And while Jisung was too busy trying to keep the contents of his stomach inside, Minho started to rub his back while looking around for a bin or something the rapper could barf into if necessary.

When the knocking didn't stop, his hyung just raised his voice, stating clearly that right now was a terrible moment. There was a slight pause. “Minho, it's me and Felix. We saw you and Jisung rushing by and wanted to make sure that nothing has happened.” Oh. Right. Their dependable leader. Always on time. Why wasn't Jisung one bit surprised?

But instead of answering, the rapper just shoved his head between his knees. One of the tricks his therapist had shown him and it was meant to calm him down. Or make breathing a bit easier, he couldn't really remember which at the moment. Like a last resort, since it was much more obvious than to count to ten. Or to put his hand over his heart and close his eyes.

But shit, what else was he supposed to do right now?

“I'm going to stand up and let them in, alright Sungie?” As answer, Jisung just let another gurgle, closing his eyes. Because while he really didn't even more people to witness his life falling apart right now, Chan needed to know. Their managers needed to know and...

Oh god, he didn't have a single idea what would come next. Only he was pretty sure that he wouldn't like it one bit.

So, having understood what the rapper had probably wanted to indicate, his soulmate stood up and opened the door. And as soon as Yongbok as well as Chan had walked in, he could feel himself get pulled in a hug. Which was the younger dancers doing. His twin had often enough stated that in an emergency, a quick hug could fix more than a lot of people believed. He was eerily similar to their leader that way.

Who was talking to Minho in hushed voices, maybe not to spook Jisung. Which too late, because the rapper believed that he hadn't freaked out that bad for quite some time.

“Don't worry, I'm going to take care of it.” And, as quick as Chan had arrived, he had left already. Without saying much else to the rapper, which... yeah. Jisung would really like to know how exactly their leader wanted to fix a situation that was clearly unfixable?

It just seemed impossible.

So, like that Chan informed the two managers, Mr. Kim and Mr. Kang who had accompanied them on this tour. And, according to when their leader came back to them, he had told the rest of the group that something had happened and they were dealing with it. He also told them that they would talk when him, Minho, Jisung and Felix got back to the hotel and that the other four were supposed to go. While they were concerned about what happened, Chan said that they had agreed and that now there wasn't anything they could do except wait. And Jisung couldn't help but feel incredibly bad for putting his friends through all of this.

But then again, he was just starting to get his breathing back under control while Felix hugged him and repeatedly told him that everything was going to be alright. That they would sort this out. That not everything was as bleak as it looked right now.

Hah. Easy for him to say.

It wasn't his soulmate who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed with an indifferent looking mask pulled on his face. All while his first mark was pulsing with hurt and confusion.

And even though Jisung would have loved for the dance leader to be in Felix' place, he also couldn't fault him for that. When Minho got hurt, he pulled back. So, the last thing Jisung was going to do, was being more of a burden to the other than he already was.

Instead, he watched how his soulmate and leader started to talk in hushed voices again. Probably discussing possible scenarios for the future and while the rapper would have loved to participate, even thinking about anything related to his second mark only made him want to vomit.

Everything took a turn for the worse when their managers returned with empty hands.

Like... how...?

But listening to them, they had waited until most of the masses had cleared and had walked among the people and started to listen in to the excited chatter. To see if they could catch a hint of someone talking about soulmates or finding the one you were destined to. But... there had been nothing. Only happy fans gushing about what an amazing concert it had been.

All while the second mark on his hand was pulsating with sadness and frustration. As if his... other one was currently a tiger, held within a cage and longing for freedom. It was maddening.

So, with the managers finished, everyone toned down. Because truly, this was the worst case scenario. If the person on the other side wasn't mature enough to realize what that mark could have as consequences if it became public? What if they already had posted it on X? Or on Instagram? Or facebook? Or Tiktok?

Oh shit, this was bad. So, so bad. This could have such severe consequences for his career as well as his private and work life, he didn't want to imagine.

Once more, his stomach squeezed in a painful way and the only thing that kept him from completely losing his mind was when Minho finally sat down next to him, pulling him close.

Just... what were they supposed to do?

“Wait a second. Chris, what about that woman? What happened to her?”

At those words, everyone turned towards Yongbok. The younger dancer was still holding on to him, patting his back as Minho held him in a hug. But... what was the man talking about? “Felix, what are you talking about?” Yes, Chan looked just as confused as the rest of them, which led to Yongbok rolling his eyes slightly. “The woman I told you about before Minho-hyung and Jisung rushed past us, remember?”

There was a small spark of recognition in their leaders eyes, but despite of that Yongbok just continued. Or maybe, it was more for Jisung, Minho and their pair of managers, since the dancer turned towards them. “There was this woman I noticed during our first encore. She looked incredible distressed and like she was just about to faint. So when we finally left the stage, I asked one of our security staff to look for her and maybe make sure if anything has happened to her.”

And when they all just looked at him, completely flummoxed, he added. “And... maybe it's a bit far fetched, but with how distressed Jisung has been for the last two hours?” - “You mean to say that you suspect that the person with the same mark could be that woman?” At Chan's question, Yongbok just shrugged. “Well... it's just an idea. And better than sitting around here doing nothing.”

While yes, assuming that a distressed woman in the crowd could be connected to that whole debacle was indeed far fetched, something about that... it seemed familiar to Jisung.

Usually, the only thing that greeted them was a sea of happy faces and ecstatic smiles. So... seeing someone in emotional pain was uncommon to say at least. Also... “It would suit the feelings I've been getting.” This time, all of them looked towards the rapper. Maybe it was because this was the first thing he had said in quite a while, but... “Whoever they are, they've been anxious and terrified since the end of 'District 9' so...”

At that, Chan just nodded before turning towards their managers. “Right. Mr. Kim, Mr. Kang. Do you know anything about that woman?” Both managers shook their heads, which great. But at least there was something they could do. Some spark of hope that the person at the other end of this mark hadn't left yet and that they could at least attempt to fix this situation.

Jisung still didn't know how, but...

Here, Minho took his hand and pressed a soft kiss right over their soul mark. “We'll get through this, Hannie. No matter what, you've still got me, I promise.” And the rapper could feel something in him ease and soften.

Right. No matter what, they would be able to get through this together. As long as he had his soulmate and his friend, they would get through this together. They had endured much worse together.

After a bit of asking around, Mr. Kang found out that the security guard Yongbok had asked had indeed found the woman and put her in an office. That had been roughly one and half an hour ago. Since then, the security guard had been looking for the managers, because he was unsure of what to do next. The request in itself had been unusual.

Also, and this their manager told them with a frown on his face, the guard had warned Mr. Kang to be careful when they talked to her. Apparently the woman had threatened the guard with bodily harm and... yes, that made Jisung's heart sink even further.

So much about hoping that this could be solved as quickly and as peaceful as possible. He had been an idiot in order to listen to Yongbok's assurances.

Which meant, that he, Minho and Chan had trailed after Mr. Kang and Mr. Kim. Yongbok had stated that it would probably be best if he stayed back and informed the other members that they would come back in what was hopefully another hour.

And when they finally arrived at the office, both of their managers had informed them that it would be best if they waited outside. Only when they had hashed out everything, they would let them join. But... in order for them to hear what was being said, Mr. Kim and Mr. Kang agreed to leave the door slightly ajar. That way, they maybe could get a feeling for what kind of person they had to deal with in the near future at least.

There was a whole lot of implications in those few sentences. Like, if Jisung would accept the bond from his side, if he would reject it, etc. It made his head spin and... yeah, it was just extremely hard to form a single coherent thought.

Then, the managers opened the door.

And the first thing they all heard was a “So, where do I sign my name on the NDA?” in slightly accented English.

Chapter Text

“Excuse me?” So, maybe getting asked where she was supposed to sign on the NDA hadn't been the most tactful thing to ask. Maybe a greeting would have been a nice start. And the two men who had walked in – both clearly with Asian descent, slightly smaller than her and absolutely unfamiliar – apparently hadn't anticipated it either.

But honestly? At this point, Y/N was just too damned tired and cranky.

The only thing really on her mind was on how she would get back to her hotel fast enough. Especially to her bed so the woman could knock herself out with a pillow. Or smother herself, regarding on her mood. Right now, the chances were 50/50. Whatever was going to happen was probably going to tip the scales in either direction.

Plus, not that she blamed Han for it, but the emotions coming from the mark didn't make things better in any way. In fact, they were making it even worse. Like a thousand times. It felt like an endless loop of anxiety and panic at this point to which she added her own as well so... like she had said, the woman was exhausted.

And like she had already said, she had no more illusion on how this would end.

Because... come on! The person on the other side of her mark lived on the other side of the world, was famous around the globe and... yeah.

Cutting this train of thought short before she started crying right here and now. She had followed it often enough. More than enough. And each time it left her more and more frazzled. The only thing that kept Y/N from losing it completely at this point was her last sliver of pride and the frustration about being dumped in this office until finally someone found time for her. Like a spoiled brat who had thrown a tantrum.

Look... she knew that she wasn't someone important and that there was other stuff to handle. Just, the woman had hoped that at one point before the one hour mark someone would come. But they hadn't. Until now.

Emotionally exhausted, she eyed the tablet one of the men was holding in his hand as he sat down in one of the office chairs in front of her. The other took the one next to her, pulling it on the left of the first man so that they would both face her.

Once again, a wave of loneliness washed over her. Like, she would give both of her lungs to have one of her friends or her father of maybe even her mother – oh god, she must be truly desperate now – here with her.

Because while having either of her friends here would only spell trouble, even more if it was one of her Stay friends. But having her mother here would be a disaster. An absolute, fricking nightmare. The woman had been badgering her for years about when she would finally look for her soulmate instead of being complacent , settle down and start a family as it was proper. So... if the woman learnt about the situation? Yes, it was best not to think about it.

So, for better or worse, there was no one right here with her. Which... some people would probably called fate or something equally stupid. And going from what she anticipated to be in the document on that tablet, it was probably best if the woman got used to that feeling soon.

Letting out a sigh, she just shook her head. “Now, I'm terribly sorry if I come off as rude but... I literally have no expectations that this here is going to take my opinion in any regard, so... Sirs, if you could just give me the NDA so I can sign, I would appreciate it very much.” To say that both men looked stunned would be putting it mildly.

“Do you even know what you're about to sign? Or should we wait for you to contact a lawyer, Miss...?” While reaching out with her hand, she stated her name. Still looking befuddled – it was almost as if the both of them had anticipated this conversation going very differently – the man on the left gave her the unlocked tablet. Which was apple... great. Hopefully she didn't have to do anything except scroll because she was an android user and everything regarding apple was as understandable as algebra to her.

And Y/N hated mathematics with a passion that was rivalled by little else. Except beetroot, but that stuff was just nasty on so many levels.

“And about a lawyer – well, I'm not from here and I don't know how to get one right now so...” At the small look of alarm that crossed the right ones face, Y/N shook her head again. “And no, I don't need one. If you need that on paper, I can gladly sign a document on how I abstain from legal counsel.” Just her signature on another piece of paper. No big deal or anything.

While the left one looked relieved by what she had said, the right one looked still sceptical. “Are you even reading the document you are about to sign?” The woman just nodded. “I do. I'm just a very fast reader,” Thanks to being an avid fanfiction reader since the beginnings of AO3 and fanfiction.net with a hyperfixation on almost anything written. “and like I said, I had already anticipated most of the contents. After all, I was left to think things over for more than an hour.”

At their stunned silence, Y/N did come to the end of the document. And before the last line, there were two other times on it where she had to put her name, but she had read the whole 12 pages before doing that.

And while English wasn't her first language, she was fluent enough to understand what was written there. Even if it was through context a few times. Came probably from the fact that she was the one with the best skills in English at her work and thus was the one everyone came to if they had to write something to the parents or anywhere else in that language. Which was surprisingly often, considering that she was working in a German kindergarten but alas.

Plus, everything what was written there was mostly what she had expected. “But if it puts your mind to ease... to summarize this non-disclosure agreement. In short, it says that I'm not allowed to share the state of me being a soulmate of one of the members from Stray Kids outside of the people who already know. Which includes the members of the group as well as the inner management.” At this part, her heart dropped even more because... of course the other members would learn. It was only understandable and she hoped that whatever this meant for Han, that he would get the support he needed. Rejecting a soulmate or being rejected was supposed to hurt like a bitch so...

“It also states that if I should tell someone of that exclusive information, JYPEntertainment would sue me for breach of this contract, which, put frankly I would never ever recover from. So yes. I understood all of it.” There was a short silence, before... “Did you read the part where you could name one other person that would be included in the contract?” Again, it was the right man and at this point, Y/N started to consider that both of them were either managers or one of them was a lawyer. It would make sense at least.

But... adding another one? The first person she thought of was Phi, which probably wasn't very healthy. Calling the person who had last smashed her heart into little smithereens about the person who would break what she pierced back together at this point.

Yes. That would be a terrible idea. And her offline friendship circle was way too close, it would have been unfair to her and... make hat notion even more terrible.

And her Stay friends? Like Vi?

No. Once again, just no.

This whole... thing... it was probably best if she didn't involve any of the people she knew into it. They had enough going on in their life's, they didn't need her chaos as well. Maybe that was her currently very rattled self-esteem talking but... no.

As for her family? Yes, they all would have too many opinions on how she handled and was handling the whole situation to be much of help in this. Should they ever learn that she had signed an NDA regarding her soulmate, he mother would blow a fuse and Y/N really wasn't looking forward to that explosion in any way. And her brother was having his own child on the way, after having married his soulmate in January.

Winter wedding. Terrible romantic. Especially since the whole ceremony had been outside.

So yes. Romantic. As well as fucking cold. So big surprise, many of the guests, including her, had gotten quite the cold after it. And since the pregnancy announcement had come just two weeks later, Y/N had some suspicions for why that whole thing had been a bit... rushed...

Also, her and her brother– their relationship had been strained since their teenage years. And the woman kind of doubted that the all around situation would improve by it.

Meaning no.

Just... no. She couldn't pile her worries on top of anyone she knew. The only thing she could do was look for her own way out of this.

Y/N had done that in the past. She could do that again.

But instead of unloading all of this onto those two strangers, she just shook her head. “That would only create one more possible liability for the group. So... it's best if I don't do that.” Which was also a contributing factor to her decision. It wasn't even like she was lying to them in order to make herself look slightly better.

Still, that one manager looked more than just a little sceptic. “Could you elaborate on that?”

And... here was that tone of voice again. The one that ticked her off like 99 % of the time. So gritting her teeth and after counting to ten in her mind, Y/N let out an exhale. “Look. I'm not stupid. I know that I'm a foreigner and I've seemingly just won the cosmic lottery in the eyes of most people. Whoop de doo. So I'm quite clear that this?”

Here, she pointed at the mark in her hand that was tingling with an emotion she had trouble naming. Disbelief perhaps? Confusion? Bafflement? It was still mixed with anxiety, which made it even harder to discern. “Should this ever come to light, it would be a huge scandal. It could even harm his or any of their careers. And I refuse, absolutely refuse to be part in anything, anything at all that harms those eight amazing people or what they built.”

At the visible surprise in the men's faces, she just continued. “They all have worked so hard for so many years. Overcome so many obstacles together and I refuse to become another one. Four years, ago their music saved my life, so I...” Another deep breath as tears threatened to spill over.

Because remembering that dark time? No, it wouldn't do anyone any good. She had gone to therapy for it and other stuff and had decided to leave it in her past. There was no need to air her dirty laundry in front of these men.

“I won't let harm come their way if I can help it. So keeping this a secret? I'll do that gladly. So could someone please give me an apple pen so I can sign this things?” Still baffled, one of the managers laid the pen on the table before her, which she gladly grabbed.

Without further ado, she signed her name one the three lines throughout the document. Having done that, she laid the pen and tablet back on the table. “You can gladly check if everything is in order. I also left my number and address on a piece of paper on the desk as well as the document. So should you need anything else of me, feel free to contact me.”

And maybe, she was terribly rude again, but... Y/N just wanted to leave. She could feel herself being this close to losing it completely and... she refused to fall apart in front of a pair of strangers. It wasn't like crying – or bawling her eyes out - could help her in any way so better not waste the tears.

Even if her chest was burning as if someone had poured acid down her throat and her stomach was doing somersaults. Oh, and jolly gee, her hands were shaking as well. Wasn't that amazing? Apparently her body had decided that now enough was enough. Or her psyche, but... meh. Who was really counting.

But really. She needed to get out.

Simple as that.

So, standing up she clutched her skirt while giving both men the deepest bow she was capable off. Probably showing at least a little bit of respect or whatever. So that Y/N wasn't going to make a complete and utter fool out of herself. “I wish you a good night and successful second day in London. Thank you for all of your hard work.” Like, she wasn't completely ignorant on Korean customs and showing at least a bit of respect to those two probably didn't hurt.

“Now if you would excuse me, I'm going to see myself out.” Once again, she knew that she was terrible rude. And that she was trampling on a lot of feet right now, but... When the two men could only sputter an answer, probably once again having not anticipated her reaction, she turned around to flee out of the office.

Only to feel her heart drop.

Because right outside of the office stood Han. And from the look of confusion on the rappers face, he had probably heard everything.

Fantastic.

This was just the cherry on top on a particular shitty cake.

So, looking for words, she let out a wheeze and decided to bow to him as well. Like... what the fuck?! What the fuck, what the fuck?! Why? Why was he here?! He wasn't supposed to... she had never thought...

Tears started to gather in her eyes and, yes. Those were her nerves. Getting completely fried and convoluted and everything and oh my god... she was going to puke. She needed to get away before she emptied all the acid churning around in her stomach on his shoes. Because fun fact, except a few protein bars, she hadn't been able to eat anything today.

With a shrill “Stray Kids fighting!” Y/N righted herself and started to run. Almost as fast as if the devil himself was hot on her heels. And if she almost tripped and fell down a flight of stairs?

Well, no one was around to judge her for it.

If later asked, the woman had no clear idea or faint memory of how she made it back to her B&B. Only snippets and bits. Since no bus had been driving any more, she had caught a cab which had taken her. The driver had asked at one point if she was fine, but... she didn't remember what she had answered. If she had at all.

Y/N only knew for certain that it was almost four in the morning and she was beyond exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. So, without further ado, she rid herself of her clothes and threw herself on the bed.

It was also then, when she connected her phone to the cable and the first thing that was shown was the selfie that had been taken hours ago. A lifetime ago.

And seeing herself and Han grin at the camera, happiness written on both of their faces?

That was the final straw needed for her to start bawling her eyes out.

Truthfully, Y/N didn't make it out of her bed the next morning. The only thing she did, so that she wouldn't worry her friends was send a quick text to both of her group chats. Just stating that she was fine and that her smartphone had run out of battery during the concert. Then she copied the messages and sent them to her mother.

That was when most of the questions started. Especially from those who hadn't been at one of their concerts yet or would never go to. So, eyes itching, head throbbing and stomach still churning, she decided to answer with what they wanted to hear.

Yes, it had been amazing.

Yes, she had had the time of her life.

Yes, she was still bone tired.

No, sadly she couldn't film the whole concert.

Yes, she was heartbroken over that fact.

And so on. To be more convincing, she added as many smileys, gifs and emoticons as she would do normally. Or at least she thought so. But apparently the woman was convincing enough for everyone – and wasn't that sad since some of them had known her for years at this point?

So, before they could smell something fishy, she closed what's app and in a fit of masochism, opened her gallery. Again, her heart seemed to break in a billion pieces when she saw the selfie of her and Jisung. Why oh why had she decided to keep that? It would only hurt her every time she looked at it. Especially when Han decided to reject that soulmate bond. It would only be another memento to remember her of a night that had taken a turn for the worse.

But... when the woman found herself with her finger hovering over the delete button? She couldn't find it in her heart to do it.

Because... she looked so happy. Han looked so happy as well.

If things had gone differently, this would have been her holy grail. The thing she would have saved on so many different devices and printed out often enough so that she would never, ever lose it.

That wasn't going to happen now. But... the thought of sharing that selfie?

It would be even more masochistic. Plus it would only make to much of a noise and they all would add too much attention and...

She just wanted to cut all that action short and go back to sleep. Maybe scroll through instagram – oh wait. Bad idea, if she didn't want to be remembered of yesterday. Maybe Youtube. That sounded more promising. Y/N could just watch a few videos about disturbing history facts and that would keep the short videos mostly empty of anything K-Pop related.

Just as she wanted to say good night to her friends, once more, there was a text message. One that felt like another punch to the gut.

Phi

And? ;) How were the interactions with you favourite Koreans? Are you ready to settle down and ditch everyone of us for your special someone?

Like she said, punch to the gut.

Because while her ex certainly didn't mean anything mean spirited by it, it... it hurt. Ached.

It was a callback to when the both of them had been best friends and hadn't started dating yet. And they had jokingly talked about who their celebrity crushes were. It had been truth or dare and they all had come clean about it. Granted, they had been younger and there had been a whole lot of alcohol involved and... never mind.

Most of them hadn't even been from K-Pop. Gina's had been Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Frederick was Scarlett Johanson. And so on, and so on.

Phi's had been Yuqi from I-dle.

Hers had been Han.

Yes.

So hearing from her ex that old joke? In this situation? It felt like the ground under her feet had vanished once more and she was free falling.

Again.

And Y/N knew... she knew that the other woman hadn't meant it that way. That she couldn't know about what had happened. And if Phi did, she would have never made that remark. Despite their recent differences her ex wasn't cruel. But...

But that didn't take the ache away. Didn't give her the back the air she needed to breathe and... there was nothing the woman could do to keep the sobs from spilling from her mouth. Whatever she had done in her past life, this was surely too cruel no was it?

Though there was only thing she could do. And even with her fingers were shaking as she started heaving as she did so.

'Haha. XD Not really.'

Like, it was sending this back and hope that her friend left it at that. It was only then that she realized that her ex had sent that in the group chat and now? Everyone who was there had seen it already. Read it. And now was leaving teasing remarks about, which again, where probably... like... she knew that her....

Gina

that's so sad lol

Frederick

you'll have better luck next time. I'm sure. ;)

Yeah, she wasn't masochistic enough to endure that for any longer. So, Y/N shot a quick 'good night, going back to bed now' and turned her phone on silent after muting that chat. It was probably best for her if she refrained from looking at that chat for the next few days.

She also considered doing that to her Stay Chat, but her friends over there would be much more suspicious if she suddenly vanished. They were attentive like that, asking when someone was inactive for more than a few days.

Shit! While she adored her fellow Stays for that, it was just... shit. And Vi also didn't live that far away from her, so... SHIT!

So, with a groan, she decided to ignore it for now. Maybe tomorrow, she would come up with an amazing idea! But not today. Just... not today... for now, the woman would just try to sleep.

And that was what she did. The day, where Stray Kids had their second day in London, Y/N spent mostly in bed. Trying to distract herself with Youtube until her eyes were itching once more or sleeping. For some reasons, she wasn't that hungry and she could drink water from the tab, so... she wasn't wasting away.

The next day, she had the Harry Potter tour booked and she wanted to smother her past self for this. And while she didn't remember much about the tour – from the looks she had sent her friends without a comment it had looked very nice at least – it gave her a much needed kick in the butt to collect herself a bit.

Because there had things to be done. Until now, her mark hadn't started to turn black, so Han hadn't started the process to reject her yet. Meaning, she had time until the pain would set in. Yes, she had researched the whole process. For one, so that she would know what she had to anticipate and for the other, if she could do it. Easier to reject someone first than getting rejected right? Meant that the woman would be the one in control and she didn't have to wait for a stranger to do it – because hands down, in the end she didn't really knew the idol. Y/N knew the image of him and what he and the others chose to show, but... there were many more nuances to a person than what was shown on a screen after getting edited.

In the end, as soon as she had read that while the person who was rejecting was in lesser pain, the person who would be rejected would be in agony. Call her pathetic, but... she didn't want to do that to another human being. Even if it meant that... yes. She really was such a people pleaser now, wasn't she?

And maybe she should think about how she felt numb all the time and nothing more but... that would take looking inside of her and Y/N really didn't want to do that right now.

So, her research in her room turned more towards the direction on how to hide a soul mark from being discovered. Many sources recommended a special kind of foundation that was mostly water-proof and only started to smudge if the person sweated for multiple hours.

The stuff was expensive as hell. And came from the US, which in return meant that it would take weeks if not months to arrive at her home.

But... that mark being discovered would lead to so many questions she really didn't have any intention on answering, so while planning to cut a bit shorter regarding her hobbies, she went and bought the stuff. Normal foundation wouldn't do it. For that, there were too many little hands regularly grabbing her hands. Too many times she had to wash them or came into contact with water and... yeah. Cheap foundation would not cut it. At all.

As for the short term solution? Well, remembering how she had almost fallen down a set of stairs proved to be quite inspirational.

So the first thing she did on the third day after that ill fated concert? Y/N bought a brace for her hand. One that was meant to stabilize the wrist and thus completely enveloped it. And for the first time, she thought herself quite clever and was a little proud of herself.

And the rest of her vacation in London? Well... honestly? She slept through it. The woman was just always tired and for some reason, eating had become such a hassle. A few other things as well, but Y/N just looked at foods she used to enjoy and for some reason? Her stomach started churning.

Sadly, she was highly suspicious of why that was.

Nerves.

Simply put as that.

Because she found herself looking at her wrist multiple times each day and... it wasn't turning black. Why wasn't it turning black?

On one hand Y/N wanted to hope, but on the other... the three people who she had been with in the past had in the end all dashed the hopes she had had in relationships. So... it would only fit that her actual soulmate would follow that trend, wouldn't it? And no, the woman wouldn't think about how each new relationship had been less... toxic or hurtful as the one before.

So back to the facts at hand. She knew that Stray Kids had left the UK already for their next stop. And nobody had contacted her via her phone and... to be honest she was confused. Because she didn't understand.

And the mark itself wasn't of any help as well. All she received was a muddle of emotions she couldn't really make sense of. It felt like Han was regularly going through a roller-coaster of emotions. Joy and happiness, guilt, anxiety, fear, anger – at some points it felt like it was too much.

But according to the internet it was completely normal to get overwhelmed by the others feelings after having met. So yeay. Meant that neither she nor her involuntary soulmate were going crazy. Lucky them.

On the other hand, the internet had also said that it was important for the new soulmates to spend as much time together as possible. Made the whole process of adjusting to each other a lot easier.

Haha.

Ahahaha.

Ha.

Funny.

Like really. What a colossal joke the universe was playing on her. Staying near each other. Haha, Stay as in their fandom name... and no this stupid pun didn't make it better! Or did anyone see her rolling on the floor laughing? Just... whoever - good one. She was howling with laughter, truly. Just... whoever was in charge of the K-Drama her life had turned into? She was going to have words for them. Very explicit ones.

Plus, the anger she felt after having read that? Well, hopefully it was better than the apathy that had accompanied her for the first few days. It made her feel more awake at least which should be helpful when she went back to work.

And this was how her vacation in London came to an end. Because on the last day? She entered the plane that took her back home. Back to her normal, ordinary life. Which would hopefully be just like she had left it.

Chapter Text

What the hell? Like... what exactly had happened? The only thing Jisung could do was stare open mouthed after the woman who had just run away from them as if someone was chasing her with a knife. Or an axe. With the intention to harm her or whatever.

And... well...

This was the first time someone had run away from him. Even with his members, like when they were messing around – it was usually the other way around. With the rapper wanting to run away. Or actively doing so.

But this? Jisung had expected anything, everything but this.

“The fuck?” Seems like Chan didn't fare any better, going from the swear. Like, his leader looked completely flabbergasted. And going from the way Minho was only blinking, mouth slightly ajar? Yes. All three of them felt mainly confused.

Maybe Jisung should have expected that she wouldn't react like a rabid fangirl after having heard what she had said in the office. About wanting to protect them, Stray Kids as a whole, even if it meant not having someone to confide in from her side. Like... who did that?

“So, that woman is an experience.” Turning around, the three members looked towards their managers who had just left the office. Mr. Kang was still holding that tablet in his hand, while Mr. Kim was just shaking his head. “And here I was thinking we wouldn't be leaving that office after having her lawyer arrive here as well as multiple other people that needed to sign a NDA too... huh. That are some extra hours of sleep I wasn't counting on.” Well. Looked like the woman, Y/N, had surprised his managers as well.

And when Minho asked them to elaborate on that – which Jisung was very thankful for because had had questions – Mr. Kim only scratched his head. “Well, since normally the soulmate in question is from the music industry as well, it takes multiple meetings with both parties involved, as well as their lawyers for things to be set in ink. But... this woman didn't even wait until Mr. Kang could give her his number so she could contact him if she needed assistance.” At this, all three idols gaped at them once more.

Only this time, it was Chan who recovered first. “Do you mean to tell me that she took off without providing any way to contact her? Seriously?” At this, Mr. Kang shook his head. “Oh no. We have her number and home address, so the agency can contact her if necessary. It's just that she can't reach out in any way unless she goes through the official channels which... she won't get through since she can't talk about why she wants to get in contact with you or anyone from division one. And if she did, she would get sued since most of our employees won't know about the situation.”

For some reason, Jisung really didn't like the implications of that. Because... he knew how hard it had been for Minho and himself when they first met. With the agency breathing down their necks and having suddenly have to hide the marks, because they wouldn't get to debut otherwise and... but he had had his grandmother and friends as well as Minho by his side. And Minho's family had also stuck up for them, never once saying an ill word about how they were both boys at the time and...

So... who did Y/N have? Like, there was no way that the woman didn't have any family or friends. Surely, there was someone she could rely on, so why hadn't she taken that opportunity? To not put them in harms way? Or adding another risk? That... that sounded too good to be true.

“Do we know anything else about her? Like her job, her age, anything?” Again, thank you Chan, because the rapper still couldn't find the right words to express anything that was going on in his mind.

Like, he was still waiting for one of the doors to go up, indicating that this was just another, very elaborate prank. Or for the other shoe to drop, which ever was more likely to happen.

Once more, the two managers shrugged. “No. But you guys don't have to worry. We will forward her name to the PR team and they will find out her social media and other information. It is pretty easy to keep tabs on someone after all, even if they are in a different country. Though... the way she just ran away right now. I could swear I've seen that somewhere before.” Now, something about how Mr. Kim had just said that, set Jisungs' teeth on edge. It wasn't unusual for the man, but for some reason? Right now, it irked him.

Especially when the man shoved a piece of paper in his hand and gave him a wink. “We've already written down her information and I thought you could need it. Also, she also put it in the NDA, so again. In your case, I wouldn't worry.” Staring at the letters and numbers on the paper, he could feel that frustration fizzle out immediately. Like... what was he supposed to do with that?

Feeling the spark of anger coming from his first mark, the rapper turned around at his soulmate. Minho was glaring at the small paper like it had personally offended himself. Then, with a dark look, he turned around and stormed off in the direction of their lockers where Felix had stayed behind.

Jisung didn't even get enough time to call the others name before the other man had already rounded the corner.

“Ah! Now I know why I found it familiar!” Again, Mr. Kim had decided to speak up, only this time it was with a teasing lilt in his voice. As if something about the whole situation was even remotely funny. “She looked just like LeeKnow-yah when he heard that there was pudding as desert in the cafeteria.” Here, the manager had the audacity to chuckle. Which again.

Jisung was having so much trouble finding anything remotely funny about the whole situation. So when the man clapped his shoulder with a “Good luck, young man.” the rapper found it terribly hard not to snap at the older man. Because fuck respecting their seniors and senior staff, he hated being talked down to like that.

Only the small head shake coming from Chan kept him from flipping their manager off. Because ugh... maybe the other hadn't meant it that way but... his soulmate was hurting and the woman who was connected to his second mark was sending so much pain through it that his wrist ached.

Yeah. Funny.

Haha.

The ride back to the hotel was awkward at best. And that was something Jisung, after having spent such a long time with these people, had never anticipated on happening. Like, it had been common in the beginning, but now?

Well, that didn't change the fact that Minho was sitting in the front and was staring out of the window while not making a single sound. And while Chan had briefly brought Yongbok up to date, the younger dancer was just looking between them with worry in his eyes. Not that their leader looked any better.

Or that the clusterfuck of emotions that was coming from Minho – and the rapper wasn't sure if he was happy that his soulmate didn't hide them from him or not. Because... on one hand he wasn't shutting him out, but on the other hand it made him feel so extremely guilty about the whole situation. And the worst part was that there wasn't anything he could do. He couldn't fix it, no matte how hard he wished he could and it was driving him crazy.

So, when they walked into Chan and Changbin's room since everyone had gathered there and Minho declared that he would be sleeping with Jeongin in a room tonight? And left after that?

Well... it would be lying if Jisung said that he didn't have seen it coming.

Because the dancer always kept to himself if he needed to clear his head or if something was bothering him. At one point, the man had admitted that this way he wasn't in danger of saying something he would regret later. So... it was best if one waited until the man came back and was ready to talk.

The only problem was that the four who hadn't witnessed the whole fiasco at the concert were absolutely clueless about what was going on. “What the heck happened to him?” Yes, Hyunjin sounded quite flummoxed while Jeongin loudly bemoaned that he wouldn't be able to spend the next two days as peaceful as he liked. Oh, and Seungmin was seemingly not that happy that he would have to switch rooms at this time of night.

All while Jisung was standing in the middle of the room, looking after his soulmate with was probably a slight look of heartbreak on his face. It was just... since they had switched into the two person apartments, he hadn't had to sleep in a different bed than his soulmate. Because usually they didn't argue and... he was used to waking up in the others arms, dammit.

“Ji, did something happen to him while you guys were at the stadium?” And damn you Changbin for asking him that out of all people. Because how was he supposed to explain it when he wasn't even sure where he should start.

“Oh, Minho-hyung is just mad that Jisung's second soulmate isn't the raging, fangirling bitch he had probably hoped she was.” - “Oh fuck you, Yongbok.” The dancer just shrugged as he sat down in Hyunjin's lap, clearly enjoying the chaos he had just caused. Because the other four were looking wide eyed from Jisung to Chan to Felix towards the door Minho had vanished through. “What? It's the truth, isn't it? It would have been easier for his conscience if she had been absolutely horrible to both or either of you!”

When Jisung just flipped him off, because once again, fuck you Lee Felix Yongbok! The situation wasn't that easy and while maybe that had been a reason for why their oldest dancer had taken off, the rapper knew his soulmate. There was a lot more to it than Yongbok had made it look like right now.

Also, it had confused all of the other members instead of clearing anything up. So whoop whoop. Fun.

Chan meanwhile was massaging his temples as he sat down on the bed. “Sometimes Felix, I forget how much of a gremlin you are.” Yeah. That angel face truly was hiding a demon at times. And from the grin, the other knew it as well.

“Wait, wait, wait. Since when does Jisung have a second soulmate? He already has Minho-hyung, so...?” At Jeongin's visible confusion, the rapper just held up his wrist with the second mark. That action earned him multiple gasps from the people before him as he plopped down on the empty couch. “Well, it seems like I'm among the lucky one percent of humanity who was granted a second soulmate. Isn't that amazing?”

The others ringing silence was answer enough to the rapper. Because honestly? To him, it only complicated things. Like, he was happy with Minho. He had an amazing job, with him and his members just grasping the success they had been working so hard for for years.

So... discovering a second soulmate? One that she was his fan and he had met like this?

It seemed more like a slap to his face than anything else.

And while Chan explained what had happened at the stadium, Jisung let his thoughts drift to the piece of paper that was sitting in the back of his pants. It felt like it was burning a hole through his jeans, with his fingers itching to trace the numbers.

Because, just as their leader told the other's of the brief glimpses they had caught of the woman – and yes, they couldn't be even called anything else – Jisung tried to remember just when he had touched her when he had been mingling.

And the sad thing? He couldn't really recall.

Maybe that was because he hadn't caught a good look at her face when she bowed, but... how was he supposed to connect her to one of the hundred of people that had been looking at him from the crowd. The task felt impossible and made his heart sink. Because... it felt like he had failed her.

Which was kind of maddening since Jisung didn't know her!

But he could recall almost all the details of the day he and Minho had connected, and no, it hadn't been the day they had first met. It had been in the training room, when they had been learning the dance of 'Hellevator' and the dancer had pulled him to his feet when Jisung had claimed that he was too spent and that he couldn't get up.

Everything after that was history.

So... why was he feeling so shitty about not being able to say the same thing about the woman? Which he probably should call by her name, because... in not doing so, the icky feelings in his stomach just rose once more.

“So... what now, Jisung?” Hearing his name, startled the rapper out of his thoughts. When he only blinked at Seungmin, the exhaustion from the concert and everything that happened after finally catching up to him, their vocalist clarified. “What are you going to do now?”

Right. And wasn't that the 1 billion won question?

So with his throat constricting and the piece of paper feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds, the rapper could only shrug. “I... I don't know?”

The second day in London went much more like they had all anticipated. And Jisung had no idea how he managed to deliver the show he did, because for one? He had slept for like three hours. Counted together. Then his wrist was aching with pain coming from both marks and except the essentials, Minho still wasn't talking to him.

Which stung, especially when the rapper woke up from one of the most intense flares of pain he had ever experienced.

So when he panicked, half-asleep and fearing that something had happened to Minho? And only found an empty bed since Seungmin had already risen and went to get breakfast?

Yes, it hadn't been very nice.

At all.

But when he came back, the vocalist could at least assure him that while Minho looked like he hadn't been able to sleep at all, physically he seemed to be fine. Tired among other things, but not too disturb or hurting.

Which meant that something had happened to the woman. To Y/N. Which again, he should really get used to calling her by her name in his head. Doing otherwise made him fill even shittier.

It was also the first time when he considered putting the number in his phone. He didn't even know if Y/N had KakaoTalk. Didn't most westerners use whatsapp? Or telegram? It was during this silent freak out that Seungmin interrupted him that they needed to get ready.

So yes, their second day in London went about as well as it could have in this situation.

And... it wasn't that he didn't have fun while performing. In fact, it was pretty easy to let himself get carried away by the atmosphere, the energy of his members and Stays. Comfortable, like slipping back into an old shoe that still fit.

And the emotions coming from his marks hadn't been that bad either. Minho's was exceeding joy, happiness because honestly? The man probably lived to perform. While at some points, Jisung was more comfortable to hole himself up in 3RACHA's studio, his soulmate bloomed as soon as he set foot on the stage.

It was magnificent and every time he managed to catch a glimpse of the dancer – it felt like falling in love with the man all over again.

As for the other? It was calm, numb so it made it easy to ignore. Maybe Y/N was sleeping or something? But that wasn't anything he could think to hard about. Because if he focused on it? Jisung would fear that he would slip up slightly. And if he decided against mingling with Stays today?

Well that was his business now, wasn't it?

Only when they finally left the stage, reality came back crashing in as the dopamine and adrenaline finally left their bodies. And he could feel immediately from when Minho started to remember everything that happened the other night, with the moon on his wrist possibly vibrating with nervous energy and hurt.

It was also the moment when Jisung decided to put his own feelings as well as that of Y/N on the back burner for now. Was that kind of an asshole move? Maybe. But instead on focusing on a soulmate he hadn't even properly met yet, he had the man he had spent years together with. And that person, his first choice among billions upon billions of people, was in turmoil right now.

So, without overthinking it – a feat that was incredibly hard to pull off – he walked over to the love of his life. And why did he get the feeling that this was something he would have to remind the dancer of in the coming days? Which he would. Definitely. At least ten times a day, if not more.

When Minho looked up, he pulled the other in a bone-crushing hug. The one, where the rapper buried his face in the slightly taller ones chest and just breathed. He could feel how the other had tensed under his hands and how slowly, so slowly it was almost maddening, the dancer relaxed and finally returned the hug.

And even though Mr. Kim was giving them quite the disapproving look, Jisung decided to ignore it. “I'm sorry this is hurting you so much, hyung. If I could, I would change it, I swear. I would never want you to hurt like this.” The 'I love you' was heavily implied, but only because he knew their managers would put even more stress on them should he say that out loud in front of a lot of strangers.

At least, a small part of the pain from his first mark vanished at this. And from the way Minho slumped a bit? And let out a loud exhale while burying his face in Jisung's hair? Well, the rapper figured that with time, they would be okay again.

“It's okay. I don't blame you, Hannie.” Yeah, from the soft tone in his soulmate's voice, they definitely would be. And that seemed to settle at least one of the anxious knots that had formed in the rappers gut.

Things were going to be okay. They always would.

After that, an eery calm settled over the whole. Like the one before a storm. It was as if something inside of Jisung knew that the whole situation was going to blow up, but he didn't know what to do.

For one, their schedules did continue and didn't pause for him to catch a breath and maybe form a coherent thought about the situation. The remaining concerts went and passed, then suddenly they were back in South Korea and their every days were packed full again.

He, Chan and Changbin had started on working for new songs which could be taken into consideration for the comeback after the next one. Sometimes, Yongbok and Hyunjin especially also decided to give their input and both dancers were working on something really, really amazing. And if he wasn't at the studio, the rapper was with the rest of them, either learning the steps for their next comeback or filming content for their reality show on Youtube.

Jisung had hardly time to spend time with Minho on his own. They hadn't gone on any date together in what felt like eternity and while the rapper immensely enjoyed cuddling in bed while watching an anime. Or sitting on the kitchen table, writing down lyrics on his smartphone while Minho cooked something for them.

Meaning, things had been alright.

If only his second mark hadn't started itching like crazy two weeks after that first concert in London. Like, it was just the end of July and... yeah, to be honest, he hadn't though much about it until that point.

Because they had arrived back home when Jisung had woken up, with the urge to scratch off the skin on his wrist. When he had gotten a bit more coherent, the rapper had discovered that the skin around the music note had turned into an angry red. Also there were these black veins that looked like they were eating their way into his mark.

To say that it had freaked him out would be putting it mildly.

And since he didn't want to go to Minho with it – Jisung was working so hard on assuring the man that he loved him to the moon and beyond and that the second mark didn't mean that anything about that would change – he decided to ask the first person who hopefully had an answer for him that wouldn't include any talks about the NDA and knew a bit more about soulmates than the others on his team.

Meaning, he went to Yongbok after practice.

The dancer had taken one look at his wrist and with an unreadable expression stated “So, you started the process on rejecting your soulmate.”. Which what?

He... hadn't? Jisung was pretty sure that he would remember if he had. But then again, the rapper didn't even know what the whole process would entail since he hadn't had time to research the whole thing. Hell, he hadn't even had time to think about if he wanted to. So... how on earth could he have done it without... well knowing anything about it.

So when the rapper just looked at his twin like a deer at the headlights, Yongbok couldn't help but frown. “Jisung, what do you think would happen if you completely ignored its existence? You told me that you were focusing on Minho-hyung and didn't want to think about it.”

Well, not this! So the rapper just fumbled while pointing at his wrist. “I thought that it would give me more time! You know how Hyung gets when he's hurt! I just wanted...” And here he trailed off, fingers twitching as he kept himself from scratching his skin. Because this? This was not good.

“Jisung.” Uh oh. That tone of voice usually meant that he was in trouble. And while Yongbok tried to look empathic, there was a weird mixture of emotions on his face. Almost as if the dancer was unsure on how to feel about the whole situation. “This isn't a song that you can put aside while you work on another one. There is a feeling, breathing human being on the other side of this mark. Which is probably going through a world of pain right now because you unknowingly started the rejection process.”

Here, Yongbok held onto his own wrist and Jisung could feel his heart go out to his twin. He hadn't considered that coming to the other would rip open old wounds. And while he knew that the dancer was alright now, that didn't mean that he had wanted to invalidate the pain he had gone through in the past. “I'm sorry, Yongbok.”

The younger gave him a soft smile at that. “Don't worry, it's okay now. You know that it didn't stick with me, so...” Here, the dancer took a deep breath. “But you really need to think about this, Sungie. And you need to come to a conclusion what you want to do. Because the more uncertain you are, the longer the rejection process will be drawn out.” Here, Yongbok winced again. “And... just believe me when I tell you that it isn't pretty. And hurts like fucking hell.”

Right.

Note to self – rip Hyunjin a new one when he sees him the next time. Or two. Or maybe even fifty ones or more. Or even better, tell Minho that that ferret had been annoying lately and in doing so, set their eldest dancer upon him. And while Jisung knew about the circumstances and everything, that didn't take away from the pain that sometimes crossed Yongbok's face. Never mind that the older one had been hurt back then as well, but...

Logically, the rapper still didn't know how they had won Kingdom back then. But with PD-nim having promised that he would move heaven and hell to let Hyunjin return? That had been enough of an motivator back then.

Still.

Stupid, self-flagging and sacrificial bastard.

But now he knew at least that nothing was wrong with her or his marks in general. So, for the day, he went back to their regular schedule. And while he didn't have much time to think about it, one thing was for sure. He needed to know what that whole rejection business entailed.

So, when his soulmate came to bed that evening – he, Hyunjin and Yongbok had stayed behind in their practice rooms to work on the dance to one of their new songs and hash out a few details – Jisung was already under the covers and reading up on everything the internet had to offer.

Which... it all didn't sound really nice. At all.

Like, he had known that it wasn't particularly pleasant. He had seen the pain Yongbok had been back then. Had seen how the younger man's mark had almost been black after they had finished Kingdom and that it had taken quite some time until the bond had been fixed and the others mark had returned its vibrant colours.

But... apparently Yongbok had been enduring a whole lot of pain without them noticing.

The article he was currently reading spoke of bone deep aches, a burning that felt like was eating one from the inside out. The feeling of muscles getting ripped and – that was the part where he closed the website. Because this had been by far the most visceral one, as it was written by a man who had gotten rejection and...

His heart had already been sinking when he had started researching. And now? Realizing that he unknowingly had put his second soulmate through pain for what probably had been a week already? Because the rejecters symptoms only started roughly about seven days after they had already started the whole process?

Yes, his stomach was churning with guilt and he had to keep himself from cradling his wrist against his chest. His parents had always told him that he was too soft for a boy at times. So, even though he didn't know Y/N, he... he hadn't had wanted to hurt her.

Also, what worried him that while there had been a few glimpses of happiness coming from his second mark, most of the time it just felt numb. And... according to his research that could either mean that the woman had learnt how to keep her feelings from affecting him to a degree or that the rejection process had already started to eat away at the emotional connection or that she was currently suffering from what a few psychologist called SRD.

Or soulmate rejection depression. Apparently that was a thing were in case of getting rejected, the emotion of the one being on the other end of the process got numbed down by chemicals released from the brain. The effects were apparently similar to a depressive episode and... again, that hadn't sounded enjoyable.

Suddenly, it wasn't that surprising to him any more why many people tried to make a soulmate relationship work at all cost. It just... it had never been an option to him before. He and Minho, they had been on the same page from the beginning on how they wanted to make this relationship work and what they priorities were and...

Seemed like he had been too blue-eyed until now. And the rapper really didn't know what he was supposed to do with the reality check he had just received. No wonder Yongbok had looked so troubled when they had talked.

“You don't look very happy.” Yeah, his soulmate could say that again. But instead of the quip, Jisung just let out a deep sigh. “Yeah. I talked with Yongbok and started to research the whole soulmate rejection thing.” Here, he showed the other his wrist which still looked a bit creepy to him. Unnatural.

Minho took hold of his wrist carefully and then started to slightly scratch the skin around the mark. Which felt like heaven.

Still, he couldn't get a read on the other when he looked at Jisung with a carefully crafted neutral expression. “So... you decided to reject her?” And there wasn't even anything he could catch coming from the other's mark, Minho's emotions being carefully guarded at the moment.

“I... I don't know...” And wasn't that the crux of the situation? Because he had started the whole process unknowingly, so he either had to go through without now or decided to abort it and... what then? There was still the piece of paper with Y/N's number on it but...

At the other's imploring gaze, the rapper started to open up about what Yongbok had told him. About what he had read and how he was unsure about what he should do. Because he didn't want to hurt her. But he didn't want to hurt Minho either and... while their managers hadn't said anything, Mr. Kang had asked one time what he had chosen to do, so... he felt pressure coming from that end too and...

He just wanted to go back to things going smoothly. Was that too much to ask?

From the way Minho seemed to mull over what to tell him, it started to seem like that. And it still felt alien to be kept from the others feelings like her currently was. Also, he wanted to ask the other what he should do. Wanted to know his exact thoughts on that and... but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to voice those thoughts.

It took some time until the dancer finally brought himself to answer the question. “I don't think I can help you with that decision, Hannie.” Right. And that hadn't been the answer he had hoped he would get. Which, again, was probably him being unfair to his other soulmate. Oh shit, he was really on a roll right now, wasn't he.

But Minho wasn't finished. “I'm not happy about what had happened, but I can't fault you or even her for that. Neither of you chose to have that mark on your wrists. But I don't want to see you hurt because of something I did, so you deciding to continue the rejection process just because I said so? That doesn't sit right with me. And you also shouldn't contact her because I told you that I think you should.” Damn. The rapper hated how the others voice was breaking a little at some points. And also how much sense it made, almost as if the dancer had been thinking about this for quite some time.

So, inching nearer, Jisung decided to crawl into the others waiting arms. But still, even as the rapper had snuggled closer, Minho wasn't quite finished yet. “I'm not connected to her, so... while I am your soulmate, that doesn't give me the right to dictate how you handle the situation. Your relationship. It's something the both of you should talk about, so that you are on the same page.” Right. That was the most democratic answer one could have probably come up with.

Why did it feel like with each word Minho spoke, bits and pieces of his heart started to break? It was hard to put into words, so all Jisung could do was pull the other man even closer. “You know, even if I don't reject her, she still won't ever replace you.” Because that was something they had talked about in the beginning of their relationship.

With Jisung's parents not really happy that their son had a man as a soulmate and just about how their country wasn't that accepting of homosexuality in general. Back then Minho had asked him if the rapper wouldn't have preferred it if he had been born a woman. Now while it would have made things easier on some points, it would have made being together like they were so much harder.

What he wanted to say – Minho was Minho and he wouldn't change anything about the other. And bigotry, possible scandals or disapproving parents hadn't ever been able to change that. So this? Nope, it wouldn't either.

It also seemed that Jisung's words had reached the other. The dancer gave a soft hum, before pressing a quick kiss to the rappers lips. “I know. And I trust you to handle the situation as best as you can.”

And this was how Jisung found himself, piece of paper in one hand and smartphone in the other at the studio the next day. And the man really didn't know if this was a good idea. But if he didn't at least try? The rapper was going to ask question it until the end of his life.

So, with a deep breath and after going through the pros and contras once more, the rapper made a decision.

Chapter Text

To say that Y/N was having a grand time would be the joke of the century.

Because the day after she returned from the UK, she had went back to work immediately. One one hand, she was quite happy because if the woman had stayed at home? Then she would have only started to overthink and spiral and that would help simply no one.

There was just on slight problem she had underestimated. And that was her colleagues.

For one, most of the ladies she was working with were huge gossips. And nosy as hell. They all liked to talk about the different parents, their co-workers and everything and in-between. Normally she didn't mind it too much, because the ones she was closest with usually weren't really involved.

Wait, what had she wanted to say? Oh yes! Her colleagues! Who were nosy. And liked to gossip with each other.

So, it didn't even take half a day until everybody in her workplace knew she was wearing a brace. And there were also the rumours, coming from some particularly... noisy ones about how that could have happened. The most common consensus was that she had either sprained her wrist or that she had strained a muscle, but there were a few more... uncommon ones. Like her having a sordid BDSM affair and she had gotten hurt by that partner. Yes. That one was a bit extreme, to be honest.

Luckily nothing close to the truth, so that was a relief.

Also she had informed both her boss and her deputy that she was wearing the brace because she had hurt her wrist in London. But that it was nothing major and she was completely fine with going to work. Now if only Marian, the woman who was working the closest with her, wasn't babying her at all times.

Like, Y/N got it. Looking after twenty children between three and six years old wasn't easy.

But... she wasn't an imbecile. And Y/N was still able to do stuff like carry things or play with the more... let's say very... very energetic children. But Marian constantly reminding them to be careful with and trying to do the things she deemed to hard for Y/N while trying to get her to eat when all her stomach did was rebel against anything more substantial than tea or soup? Or cucumber, pumpkin, zucchini and rice.

So yes, Marian trying to shove things like goulash, curry, schnitzel and the like in her face. Because the lady had somehow gotten in her head that Y/N was trying to become vegan and the woman was horrified about that. For whatever reason. Because even if she had decided to go vegan, it was her thing. While she tolerated the older lady... it was exhausting, especially since she used work to take her head off of things.

Was that a healthy coping mechanism? Hell no, but then again, it was better than to stay home and go stir crazy.

So, as soon as she came home, Y/N collapsed in her bed after having fed her cats. And cleaned their litter boy. She was only happy, that both Hercules and Merlin were possibly the most lazy and cuddly cats in existence. Plus sometime they brought her one of the fishing rods or small toy mice when they wanted to play with her. But... most of the times they either sat next to or on top of her on the couch and demanded cuddles and a more... let's say hands on kind of playing. Also, Hercules liked to be carried around her home like a baby.

But yeah, except taking care of her cats, she didn't do much at home. Maybe she cooked her herself and cleaned the dishes. And washed her clothes, but yeah. That was about about it. So what if she neglected her other chores... a lot. It wasn't as if anyone would nag her for it, nor was she going to inconvenience someone with it.

So there.

And when a few of her friends – Gina, Phi and Frederick and this case – wanted to meet at the weekend? To watch some old movies together so they could laugh at the bad cgi or cringe worthy special effects? Well... Y/N decided to stay home.

Because while her co-workers had asked her a few questions about her vacation, they didn't know – or weren't interested enough – to learn more? Her friends were different. They had already asked about her trip multiple times and some, Phi and Gina especially, seemed to grow slightly suspicious that she wasn't gushing and floating on the ninth cloud all the time. And why she wasn't eating much, which... yeah. Y/N didn't have a believable explanation for that.

Plus... she had never been good at faking her emotions, so... it was easier to stay away. If she was happy, she showed it. If she wasn't? Well, her face tended to speak for her at times, so... yeah. Keeping her feelings secret from others really wasn't her strength.

And when she woke on Saturday, feeling number than she had the other days with her wrist hurting like a truck had rolled right over it?

Yeah, she was really happy that she had declined the invitation. Because no matter how much ibuprofen she took – and yes, she stopped after having crossed the recommended limit by one tablet, she wasn't that desperate – the pain lessened only slightly.

So, instead she decided to vacuum her apartment, change her sheets and do the bare minimum of her housework. So that it didn't look as messy as it had. After that, she put in her favourite Disney movie, only for her to doze off with Merlin in her lap who was purring up a storm.

And that was how her weekend went. She was either dozing, cuddling her cats or watching “Wednesday” on Netflix. Y/N had already watched the first season when it had come out so she remembered most of the plot and even when she fell asleep, it was easy to pick up were she had left off.

Also, she had been talking with her Stays. Y/N and Vi had even agreed to meet, to which Yuri and Kate had commented that they were supposed to take photos of their food should they go out to eat again. They had also kept her spirits up, sending her edits to different series and movies. Because a little bit after the concert she had admitted that she wasn't feeling that well. The woman had figured that she was pretty save while being honest with them, since with the exception of Vi they all lived in different cities. So while those women checked up on her online, they probabilities of them showing up at her doorstep weren't that high.

Oh. And she phoned her mother on Sunday, so the other wouldn't get suspicious that something was going on. Apparently, her mom was quite ecstatic since Y/N's sister-in-law was slowly but surely approaching her due date, so the little boy would probably arrive soon. Which reminded Y/N that she still had to get her present for the baby, since she had wanted to wait for that until after the concert. Maybe she would get a teddy or something.

But yeah, everyone in her family was happy and healthy and absolute ecstatic about the arrival of a new addition. And when her mother had mentioned that particular phrase, something deep inside her had ached.

If... if the evening at the concert had gone differently... if her soulmate had just been another Stay she had brushed or touched then... the she could have told her mother that she had good news as well. That she would have finally met her destined person, just like the older woman had always said she would and that she couldn't wait to introduce them to the family.

Which... well, maybe she wouldn't have done that right after the birth of her nephew but... she would have had the option. One she would never, ever have now.

And Y/N would never be able to tell her mother about the situation with her soulmate. About how she had noticed that morning that slowly black veins seemed to envelope the nebula and...

Her mother would just find a way to blame her for how her own soulmate hadn't wanted her. Wasn't like Frederick and Phi not being her soulmate's had been the biggest hang-ups the older woman had had about her past relationships. Stupid, traditionalistic views. Ones that her male ex had shared, since that was the thing Frederick had always held against her.

That she wasn't the older man's destined partner and would never really know what was going on in his head and what he wanted and... bli bla blupp. The man had so many expectations on her and had set her under so much pressure.

Yeah, she really knew how to pick them. Wohoooooo.

At least, when the mark had turned completely black, she could fake it and tell everyone that it was just a tattoo.

So, the conversation with her mother ended on a slightly sour note on her part. Fun. Great. Weren't things just amazing?

When she woke up on Monday, it felt like she hadn't been able to catch an inch of sleep. Which wasn't true at all, but... it seemed like her body had a different opinion. Also, maybe she should be slightly concerned about the fog that seemed to have enveloped her brain.

It... wasn't really that alarming, but... everything happening around her felt like she was watching it through a foggy window. Meaning, starting that morning, it felt like her reactions were... slower, muted and Y/N wasn't sure what to make of it.

The only thing that seemed to be exceedingly clear was the pain radiating from her wrist. And the only positive side?

Well, at least she couldn't feel Han's emotions any more.

Which was fine.

All of that meant that she could leave that part of her life behind sooner rather than later so... that was something nice, she guessed.

Now, if only her colleagues hadn't noticed the change for the worse. Because now, Marian was slowly starting to get even more overbearing, while the others tried to talk to her to take some time off. Something about how she looked to ill to really works, with bags under her eyes and as pale as a sheet.

Great.

That was just the confidence boost she had needed. Thank you very much, everyone.

Apparently, she looked so bad that at point the deputy in charge of her asked for her to come into the office for a talk. Y/N hated talks like that. While she was quite comfortable with her deputy Diana and got along well with their overall boss, being ordered to come in for a talk one hour before her shift ended?

It felt too much like she was going to get reprimanded. And that was something she didn't need right now.

So... colour her surprised when Diana just pointed at the tea and the muffin in front of her and asked her to take one. Like... yes, she hadn't anticipated that. Especially since those were Diana's special home-made banana muffins. Yes, Y/N had the recipe, but no matter how hard she tried, hers never turned out as well as those of her deputy. And the woman knew that Y/N always had a hard time resisting those treats.

Only... now they were standing there and she could already feel her stomach getting queasy. Meaning this felt like a well laid trap. And refusing would probably make one or two alarm bells in Diana's head go off.

Still suspicious about why exactly she was here, Y/N took a muffin and started nibbling. “So... do you know why you're here?” Well, no. But from the way Diana had worded that, Y/N got the distinct feeling that she should.

So when she slowly shook her head, she could see how the other woman started to frown. “Are you aware that I had four of the others come in this week? Asking that we talk to you, since it seems like you aren't doing well? They even suggested calling an ambulance for you when you almost fainted recently.” Her voice was laced with concern which only led to Y/N flush with shame.

Damn. Had she already said that she appreciated some of her co-workers, but they were such a meddling bunch? So she wasn't sure if she should appreciate their gesture or be incredibly annoyed by that.

Also, it wasn't like she had fainted. She had just felt a bit dizzy and had needed to sit down for a bit on the staircase which sadly, some of her other colleagues had noticed. But hey, they had given her chocolate. Chocolate was always nice. And when she had felt better, Y/N had gotten back to her own children.

So like she had said. Not a big deal. Like at all.

And... it wasn't like she could tell her deputy the whole truth. About why she wasn't able to give 100% at work right now. Though... she had the suspicion that Diana would send her home and to the doctor if she didn't say something. Her deputy could be tough as nails which was a huge asset in their work. So... maybe a titbit.

Clutching the brace, Y/N looked to the side, took a deep breath and only when she felt slightly calmer, she turned back towards her deputy. “I'm... I apologize. I didn't realize that I worried any of the others with the way I acted. I'll try to make sure that it isn't so obvious any more.” At her words, Diana frowned heavily. “Y/N, that's not what I meant to say. I wanted to tell you that you haven't been well for some time and that it's noticeable.” Here her gaze got stuck on the wrist, which made Y/N want to squirm. “And I wanted to ask if there was something you needed help with.”

Ugh. Now, the white lies and omissions she had to tell felt even more horrible. As if this wasn't the icing on a particular shitty cake. Because if there was one thing Y/N hated more than beetroot, it was making others worry about her. Made her feel like she was nothing but a burden, a hassle and that that people were better off without her.

So, taking another deep breath, she truly decided to answer this time. “There... something happened in London and I haven't been coping as well as I should. But... if you give me more time, I think it will right itself soon.” When the older woman just shot her a look of disbelief, Y/N gave her a shaky smile, grasping her brace so hard she could feel it despite the 'normal' aches.

Diana just shot her a disbelieving look, before her gaze found her wrist again.

Then, something seemed to click inside the other woman's mind and her features softened immediately. “I think I understand.” Well, Y/N sure hoped she did not. While she knew that her deputy was divorced and was a single mom raising three kids on her own without the father in sight, she wanted to believe that the other woman hadn't experienced what she was going through.

But without waiting for her reaction, Diana stood up and got a piece of paper from her desks. “Look, I'd recommend you getting out this weekend, alright? Meet up with one of your friends, drink until you either puke or black out. Maybe get laid, just... you need to get that sadness, frustration and pain out before it eats you alive.” Here, something flashed over her face. And for a terrible moment, Y/N believed that her deputy had a vague but mostly correct idea about what was going on right now.

“After that? Start taking care of yourself. Cook and eat delicious meals. Work out. Buy clothes you feel desirable and pretty in. Give yourself time to heal and about the person who's currently rejecting you? Tell them to fuck off as often as you can. And if you need them, take pills made out of St. John's wort if your feeling stressed or down. I know they helped me pull myself out of my own SRD. It helps you feel more calm and sleep better.”

Oh.

Soulmate rejection depression.

Y/N had read about that on the internet and she could feel her heart break that the woman before her had had to go through that in the past. And when she looked back at Diana, there was that grim understanding on the other woman's face again. The one that only came from knowing exactly what another person went through.

As for telling Han Jisung to fuck off? Well, there was no way she could do that directly, but... imaging herself just screeching at the guy? Screaming her lungs out, It pulled at the corners of her mouth.

And this time the smile spread more easily across her lips. “Thank you, Diana. Truly.” The older woman just nodded. “You're welcome. And if you ever need to vent, come and find me. I'll be there to listen and maybe I have one or another helpful suggestion for you.” Here, she let out a huff. “But seriously, that person doesn't deserve you in the slightest. So... hold your head high, alright?”

With that, their conversation came to an end. But, right as she wanted to leave the office, her deputy turned around once more. “Also – take the other muffins with you.” When Y/N just blinked at her, because really... she had been barely able to eat half of it, Diana let out a huff. “Don't make me send my daughter after you. Because she will get you to eat those and if that is the last thing she does.”

Yeah... never underestimate a motivated five-year-old. Or any motivated kid for that matter.

So with a sheepish grin, Y/N took the rest of the muffins and excused herself.

Also, after giving Diana's words much thought during her drive home, the woman sat for quite some time in her car after she had parked it in her parking lot. It was just... who should she ask if they wanted to spend time together? It wasn't like any of the friends near her were regularly in the mood for partying or something.

With a sigh, she shoved her phone into her pocket. Maybe tomorrow she would have a great idea or something about what she was supposed to do. Who she should let in and share emotions and stuff.

But Y/N got those pills her deputy mentioned. The apothecary where she had gotten them had asked her if she took any other medications, because apparently St. John's wort could have some side effects if taken together. And no, she wasn't taking any other antidepressant, or anything really except a few minerals and the pills, so she just told the woman behind the counter that there was nothing to worry about. Like she said – she wasn't taking much and the possibility that it would affect those three pills? Yeah minimal.

All she wanted was to feel less burdened and knowing her own mind and how she tended to overthink things? Yeah, better safe than sorry and if they worked like Diana had suggested? It was a whole lot better than going to her doctor and having to explain why she needed an antidepressive. No need to involve any more people in this. So... small steps.

Baby steps, truly.

But better than nothing.

So, Y/N went to work on Friday and gave it her all to do her best. To not let her co-workers get another glimpse on how something was wrong with her. Or that she was going through things. She thought she did pretty good. As for the weekend? She would manage by herself. Surely. What more was another two days with just her and her cats around.

Though... she hadn't considered her friends. Three of them especially.

And when Saturday rolled around, and Y/N had sat down on her couch? Well she hadn't really anticipated her doorbell to ring. And seeing Vi, bag in one and a huge stack of papers in the other hand? Well that was even more surprising.

“Vi? What the hell?” - “Y/N, hi! How are you this fine afternoon?” And without waiting for the woman to answer, he friend walked straight into the apartment. The freelancer even kicked off her shoes, cooing at Hercules when the cat screamed at her in greeting. Merlin meanwhile was probably under the couch. Or the bed. Whatever fancy her scaredy-cat had struck.

“I'm okay, I guess? What are you doing here?” Because while it was nice that her friend had asked – it still didn't explain why she had been in front of her apartment door!

But the freelancer just gave her a sunny smile before sitting down on her couch. And if she had to push aside some SKZOO plush animals as well as more than a handful of blankets? Y/N was ignoring that. Just like she did when her friend shoved aside some of the stuff that had found their way on her living room table.

Yes, her apartment was still a mess. But if she had known that she would get a guest the kindergarten teacher would have cleaned it up a bit! She wasn't a total slob, honest!

“Well, you told us that you don't feel so well like three weeks ago. And every time me or Kate or Yuri or my sister or one of the others asked if you were feeling better, you just gave us vague answers.” Ah. Shit. Maybe she hadn't been at misdirection as she had thought.

Seeing the guilty expression on Y/N's face, Vi's expression softened a bit. Her tone also grew more gentle when she spoke next. “So me and the others talked and since I'm the one living nearest, we decided that I would check in on you.” Ah. This sounded like an intervention. Why was she getting one? Surely she hadn't been acting so off that she deserved one!

“And looking around, I think you desperately needed some company. And someone you can body double with, so you can get some of your tasks done.” Okay, it wasn't that bad! Surely, it wasn't that bad!

But when the woman wanted to protest, Vi just tilted her head to the side. “I would bet that there is almost nothing in your fridge except those few vegetables of yours and some cheese that even Stuart Little wouldn't dare to eat.” Rude. But true. Also, there was some jam, but... Y/N didn't think that it was worth saying that. It would only prove her friend right even more.

Which was why she let out a sigh, looking slightly to the left as Hercules, followed by his brother laid down next to Vi on the couch. They were probably hoping for some treats, since Phi had always given them some that way. Old habits die hard and what not.

Seeing how uncomfortable Y/N had gotten in that moment, Vi faltered momentarily in her actions. “But if me being here is too much of a hassle, I can leave again. I just thought that we could watch a movie while I read through the manuscript my publisher sent me.”

Ah, yeah. Because Vi was a freelance editor. Meaning the publisher she was working on assigned her multiple authors whose manuscripts she had to read, correct etcetera. She was also in charge of all negotiations regarding said books and... before Vi had gotten into more detail, Y/N thought that it was an ideal job.

It was not. Especially with certain genres she wasn't even remotely interested on the rise.

So yes, most of the time the freelancer was terrible busy. And for her to make time? It warmed something inside her, made her feel cherished in a way few things had for some time. Which was why she returned her friends smile in a tentative way. “Nah, it's alright. We can watch a movie or a series or something as long as your reading your manuscript. After that we can, I don't know, maybe go for a walk? Play some games? Or maybe go out to eat something?”

And for some reason that made her friend wonder again. “You don't want to go swimming? Didn't you go on and on about how you couldn't wait for your vacation so you could go to the lake or pool again? Like the whole day?” The only thing she could do was shake her head and clutch the brace around her wrist.

The mark had stopped aching at one point yesterday, so naïve as Y/N sometimes felt like she was, the woman had believed that maybe the whole rejection process was over. That it was completely black and she could finally start pretending that it was just a simple tattoo she had gotten on a whim.

But nope.

Seeing her hold her arm, Vi winced for a moment. “Sorry, I forgot about your injury for a moment. Swimming wouldn't be beneficial now, would it?” At that, Y/N breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah. But we can go at a later point, okay? When it's fully healed, then maybe we can go to the swimming pool.”

And that was that. They quickly found a movie on Netflix, they both loved to bits. And yes, it was Lord of the Rings, so what? The had the whole afternoon to themselves, so they could easily watch all three of them.

At one point during the second movie, the woman had to go to the toilet, which in turn gave her the perfect opportunity to check. A look at her wrist proved her previous assumption about her soulmark wrong. Because while the mark still didn't look healthy, with dark veins growing through it, it wasn't completely black yet. Meaning, the bond hadn't been completely broken yet. And... Y/N didn't know what to make of it.

Because why would Han Jisung suddenly halt it?

She had read up on it. For him, well he shouldn't suffer too much. A few minor inconveniences, like itching or the feeling as if he was sporting a bruise right now. He wouldn't have to be the one to bear the brunt of it. So...

Yeah, something wasn't right and Y/N didn't know what to make of it. The only thing she could do was wait. And endure the nervous buzzing that seemed to come from it recently. It wasn't that long, just the middle of the first movie. And the emotion wasn't anxiety, but something close and... she couldn't make heads or tails out of it.

It made her shudder a bit as she sat down next to Vi again. The only thing that slightly helped her nerves was Merlin who had decided to sit down on her lap, purring up a storm.

“Are you alright?” Glancing up from her brace, the woman could see how Vi had turned away from the manuscript she was correcting. There was a frown on the other woman's face and she looked quite worried. “Huh?” - “You spaced out right now. Did something happen?” Well, yes and she had missed a big part of the start of the battle of Helm's Deep, but whatever.

Y/N grimaced, carefully stroking her cats fur to ease her nerves. “Just... work has been quite a ride lately and... you already know how life isn't always easy and stuff.” The freelancer gave a huff. “Let me guess – your parents are still ecstatic about the arrival of their first grandchild and are badgering you right now about when you want to start procreating?” Well, more like her mother had recently texted her that she should go out more so she could meet her soulmate, but with her sister in law the older woman had been quiet to a point lately. So... yeah. In the end it wasn't that much different.

So, Y/N just gave a shrug, which made Vi just shake her head. “I really don't understand your family, you know. You can totally make it on your own and after your last three relationships, she should be happy that you're taking a break right now!” Had Y/N mentioned that she had talked with her other Stay friends about her misadventures regarding romance? Meaning that they knew the gist of it? And that most of them weren't big fans of the fact, that she was still friends with Frederick as well as Phi?

Yes. For some reason she just didn't want to think about the whole stuff at all. So as quickly as possible, she directed the topic to the manuscript in front of her. The plot line, genre, characters. Etcetera.

And the freelancer was all too happily distracted.

So with her friend going on and on about what current idiocy the author which her current publisher had assigned her with had cooked up, it was easy to fall into a lull. And since dark romance was all the rage at moment, her friend had quite a few opinions on her current assignment. None of them very good, if she was honest.

The woman didn't even really need the movie at this point. Just listening to Vi was enough to make her feel comfortable. Warm.

Also, Y/N was looking forward to going out to eat. Because like Vi had said, her refrigerator was pretty empty and desolate. And if they had to order something, maybe it would be better if they went out for KBBQ. After all, there was one half an hour away from her apartment.

That was when the smartphone in her pants started to vibrate.

At first, she didn't think much about it. Vi had just fallen silent again, her pen dancing furiously over page after page, so Y/N was looking at the television again. Where Gandalf had just arrived with the Ents.

Maybe Phi had found a plush animal or her dog had done something she wanted to share. Maybe her mother wanted to ask something. Maybe another of her friends needed something. Like, it wouldn't be atypical for their Stays to check in on them.

But when it vibrated a second... then a third... then a fourth time? Well, maybe it was more important than she had thought? Also, she was much to nosy to let it rest now. Because maybe Yuri had sent her another fanfiction she would be able to read later. Maybe something fluffy, maybe something smutty. As long as it wasn't Stray Kids, which the other had accepted when the kindergarten teacher had initially said that she didn't want to read stuff about them at the moment.

Also, the nervousness coming from her mark seemed to increase by the second which would make focusing on listening almost impossible.

And yes, it was a text. Multiple in fact. Via what's app.

But... for one, the number wasn't in her contacts yet. And for another, it was a foreign number. Like... not from Germany. Which made her first thing of a scam artist and she wanted to delete them and block the number without even looking at them. But... some nagging feeling kept her from doing so.

So while Vi was still going through the papers – she could hear the scratching of the pen – Y/N opened the new chat.

And felt her heart drop.

Unknown number

Uhm. Hello.

So... I really hope that this is the right number.

Or this is going to be terribly awkward.

And I really don't know how to start, except...

Hi? This is Jisung?

What. The. Fuck?!

Like what the actual fuck was going on?

Y/N could only stare at her smartphone as the texts kept coming in, with her mind wiped completely blank.

Unknown number

Like, you know...?

Shit, this is already awkward.

And I really don't know what to say.

And I'm rambling and...

Well, Mr. Kang informed me that you have no means to contact any of us should you be in trouble or have questions or need something.

So... I thought that contacting you was the right thing?

The right thing... the right thing? Again, what the actual fuck?! Had someone hacked her phone? Was this a scam? Was someone playing a prank on her, and if so? How had they found out?

She hadn't told a soul about the mark, about Han Jisung, about the catastrophe that the concert in London had been.

So how... how was this happening right now....? Y/N didn't understand.

Is this a prank?

If so, I don't find it particularly funny.

Unknown number

No!

I swear, this isn't a prank!

Like I said, I thought contacting you was the right thing to do.

Especially after everything I've done to you over the last few days

I'm sorry.

I'm so so so so sorry for it.

I didn't intend to hurt you.

I wanted to apologize in person, but with the time difference and I figured you wouldn't answer a foreign call, so...

At that, the smartphone in front of her started to get blurry and it took all out of her not to sob. Because... what was that supposed to mean?

Because considering this really was Han Jisung – he had texted that the managers had given him her number and she knew that she had written her contact down more than once so that panned out. But... he was sorry? What?

She could feel her heart painfully throb while reading that. There was also this burning sensation in her chest, as if she wasn't getting enough air to breathe.

Alright?

Pardon the question, but if you didn't want to hurt me as you said, why start the rejection process?

Because the man wasn't stupid. Y/N knew that about Han Jisung at least – and wasn't it pathetic in how much she wanted to believe that it was truly, honestly that man on the other side of the texts? And not just a scammer or someone trying to pull the wool over her eyes.

She was an optimist, not an idiot.

There was a pause before the next text came.

Unknown number

I'm sorry, I can't answer that question.

It's complicated and at first, I didn't realize I started the process.

Again, I'm sorry.

Ah. I see.

A hollow sob escaped her at that. Because wasn't this the story of her life? So, with tears in her eyes and bitterness colouring her soul pitch black, she couldn't help but type the last message.

You know, for not intending to cause hurt? Well, your fucking shit at it.

So spare me the apologies if you don't mean them.

And with that, she closed her phone, pressing the wrist that was starting to pulse in agony at this point against her chest.

But before she made another noise, there were hands on her shoulders and Vi was pulling her up. “Hey. Hey, hey, hey, Y/N? What's going on?” Hearing that, the tears she had been holding back for weeks finally started to fall and the woman started to howl in pain.

Because how... how...?! Why? What good did it bring if the person... just... how?! Why had he contacted her? It didn't change anything! There was... it just...

At this point, there was snot and tears dripping down her face, while Vi started to panic before her. And the only thing she could press out how sorry she was. Which only led to the woman making soothing noises and petting her hair. “Hey, hey, it's alright, it's fine! You've done nothing wrong, just... what is happening?”

Y/N just gave a hiccup, before closing her eyes. “He just contacted me. Said sorry for rejecting me, but can't say why and... it hurts. It hurts so much, Vi! Why doesn't he just stop hurting me? It's not fair!” The freelancer looked at her, confusion strong and clear on her face until she looked towards the arm the woman was still pressing against her chest.

Then, something seemed to click for her friend as she took Y/Ns' wrist carefully in her hand and got the brace off.

Which revealed the discoloured mark Y/N had seen when she had been in the bathroom. And like she had said before, it was quite hideous at this point, looking unhealthy and sickly. Also, since this morning, some kind of rash seemed to have appeared around it, with the skin around the mark red and full of small pustules. It reminded her of a allergic reaction, as if in just this moment her body was trying to fight it with all its might.

Her friend sucked in a sharp breath, before standing up and getting an ice pack that she carefully placed on the aching soul mark. “I'm going to kill him.” Which made Y/N hiccup. If only Vi knew who was at the other side of the mark, she wouldn't have said that. But the notion alone made a breathy laugh escape her, only to sob even harder after that.

Which in turn made Vi pet her hair while making some king of cooing sound. As if Y/N was a small child or frightened animal she wanted to soothe. And while it didn't make things completely fine, it eased the pain that was coming from it quite a bit. Then she pulled Y/N into her arms. “I'm... I'm so sorry Y/N... I'm sorry you encountered another asshole.”

There was silence except Y/N pressing her face into the others shirt while crying her heart out. It kept going on and on until the woman felt like they were literally no tears left for her to cry. As if she was a well that had finally run dry.

Then... “If you give me his address, I could clobber some sense into his brain. Not sure if it would work but...” Y/N just gave a hysterical chuckle at that. The image of Han Jisung being chased by her friend with a slipper in hand was incredibly funny to her mushy brain for some reason. But...

“Well... I don't have it and you would have to get to South Korea first.” There seemed to click something in the others brain again and Vi gave a hum. “So... we were right about you acting off since you came back from London.”

Yep, they truly had been on about stuff since the beginning. Fantastic. So, Y/N just gave her a grin, that looked probably pitiful most of all. “Well. You can clearly see that I'm just peachy. And I can't tell you guys any about it, which makes the whole thing even peachier! Not that I've been very good in hiding it apparently!” Shit. She hadn't been supposed to say anything about. This was not good, so not good!

Her friend gave her another considering look. “What? Don't tell me you ran into someone working with Stray Kids and you had to sign an NDA so the information you may have overheard would never get out?” Hearing those words, Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry.

Or both. She was so dangerously close to doing both. Because Vi would never know just how close to the truth she had just gotten.

But... going from the expression, that stubborn, mulish look that Y/N was all too familiar with? Not from Vi, but from her children at work. It was the one someone made when they had made a decision that they wouldn't move an inch away from. “Well, I don't care if he is their drummer, their stylist or their freaking manager! You're clearly much too good for him and should he ever have the pleasure to meet me? Oh, you bet, that I'm going to slap the everliving shit out of that jerk should I ever see him! Asshole.” Again, the image of Han being chased by her friend with a slipper in hand was something so insanely amusing to Y/N that she didn't know how to react.

Except giggling.

Which made something in Vi's expression soften again. “Don't worry, I've got you. And I won't tell the others unless you ask me to.” At her words, the woman gave the other another tight squeeze. “Thank you.“ In that moment, Vi took her hand. “ You're welcome. And really. No matter who he is – no man that made you cry like that deserves you in any way. So... tell him to fuck off for me, alright?” Again, the woman gave a hollow laugh.

Because honestly? Maybe she would just get a new phone number. The agency already had her name, so even if she moved at one point in her life? It wouldn't make much of a difference. Also, half-hearted apologies? She had heard too many of those through-out all of her life.

So when she came back and unlocked her phone? And found the last text message?

Unknown number

I know. Still, I'm sorry.

And I don't expect any forgiveness.

Just... I wish I had acted differently.

Hah.

Well, you and me both. And with that bitter thought, she muted the chat. Like really, go fuck yourself, Han Jisung. Hopefully, the guy would restart the rejection process soon, than she could leave the whole thing as far behind her as possible.

Maybe get a few other tattoos around the blackened mark. Now wouldn't that be nice?

Chapter Text

Well... that hadn't really worked out like Jisung had intended. Should he be less surprised about that? Yeah, probably. Because nothing felt like it went according to his plans and wishes any more.

But... maybe it had been too hopeful that simply reaching out would fix everything that had went wrong. Because he had fucked up. The rapper wasn't above admitting that. And he didn't know Y/N, so he didn't know what he could do to make things right. Like, Minho needed space, Seungmin needed time, Chan would get hyper-focused on work and Felix would be fuming but was staying near despite of that. Changbin just got very, very angry and always went to the gym to work through his emotions. Hyunjin was going to rant until he had finished calming down, while Jeongin got silent and you had to wait until he came up to you to mend things.

Like he said – Jisung knew how to treat his friends. Even his family to a point. But here? He was absolutely clueless.

The only thing he knew was that his second mark was pulsing in deep, emotional pain again, so the most likely scenario? The rapper had just made things worse for her. Great. Fantastic.

That didn't want to make him bash his head against a wall. No, not at all.

But hey, since his last messages had gone through, Y/N hadn't blocked him yet. Which was better than nothing. Was it really too much to ask that he wanted to at least be civil with his second soulmate?

Because... while he still didn't understand why he had gotten another one, a part of him – the one that had kept him awake last night because of everything Minho and Yongbok had said – was curious about how.

Because yes, he had had the highest level of Adelfesyxin in his blood, but why had neither the doctor nor management reacted? Because shouldn't they have been aware that he was at a higher risk of finding a soulmate? Maybe they just hadn't really bothered, because he had already found the dancer back then.

And another, much more selfish part of his mind wondered if maybe... if Y/N and Minho touched as well... if they would be soulmate's as well. Because if people had been wrong about him having only one, maybe they were wrong about his love too.

It would make things a bit easier.

Maybe.

But... there was no way to answer or calm any of his raging thoughts in his mind.

So, with a deep sigh, the rapper stood up and started walking towards 3RACHA's studio. Because Minho was still busy with the dancers for their next comeback, so their home would be empty until at least 11 pm. And if there was one thing he didn't want to be right now? Well, that would be alone.

And Chan, the workaholic he was, was most likely working right now. So... maybe Jisung could the emotional state he was in to write some sad or confusing songs. It had been some time since he had dropped one of those.

Fat chance.

At this point, Jisung was seriously considering that the world was just working against him. Or the universe. Or some greater deity ha apparently had wronged in his last life!

Because Chan hadn't been in their shared studio, for a fact! Neither had been Changbin! Because their maknae had badgered his hyungs so those three would go to the fitness studio to work out. As if they needed it. Also, they could have asked him, but no!

And when he had written Hyunjin, he hadn't gotten an answer which meant that the artist was currently drawing and in that hyperfocus of his. So... showing up at his and Changbin's apartment would only end up in annoying the dancer. So... for the sake of peace? Yeah, he refrained from doing that. No need to go looking for problems that didn't exist yet.

So, before he did something drastic like call his older brother – or worse his mother and he really, really wasn't looking forward to her learning about recent developments or her opinion on them – he rang the bell to Yongboks and Seungmin's apartment. And while the vocalist was probably still at the company, getting vocal lessons and improving his range among other things, the other dancer should have finished his physiotherapy by now.

And really, after a few seconds, his twin opened up with a confused look on his face. “Jisung? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at home right now? You said you wanted to talk to Y/N, didn't you?” At that, the rapper just gave a sniff. “Yes. But things didn't go as planned. And now I need brownies.” Another sniff. “And a hug.”

At that admission, his twins face visibly softened. “Oh shit. I thought so already, so I made some. Seungmin stole a few, but there should be some of them left.” Of course their puppy hadn't been able to keep his hands to himself. Which was unfair, since those were his brownies!

So, grumbling about thieving dogs, Jisung walked into the apartment and dropped down on the couch, sulking. Only when Yongbok put those treats in front of him, he grabbed the first one and started nibbling on it. When he saw that the younger man didn't take one, the rapper frowned. “You know, eating one wouldn't completely throw off your calorie count? Especially since you made those, so basically you are their master and those calories are forced to obey you.”

That quip got a small chuckle out of the other. But still, he shook his head. “I'm really not that hungry. Plus, I already ate, so... yeah, I'm going to save them for breakfast.” Yeah... which wasn't as likely as Yongbok made it sound like. The dancer had been struggling with his weight for years and it made Jisung incredibly sad just how careful he had gotten with food and what to eat. It had gotten better, though with a comeback just around the corner? Even Minho had been mostly relying on bananas, chicken breast and protein shakes.

But regarding Felix... there wasn't anything the rapper could do about it and berating Felix hadn't ever helped before so... maybe he should talk to Hyunjin. Or Changbin and Chan. It was more likely that he would listen to those three regarding the matter.

That damn ferret should take his soulmate out for a date or something. A lovely café or restaurant would be a great idea.

“Now, give me that chat and let's see if we can fix the mess you've gotten yourself in.” Well. On one hand that sounded great. On the other – why was the dancer assuming that Jisung was responsible for things going haywire?!

After some pouting – and a brownie getting shoved right into his mouth – Yongbok was able to read the chat after a few seconds. “Wow. I thought you would have at least chatted with her a bit more before things turned out like that.” Awesome. Thank you for the vote of confidence.

Seeing Jisungs' frown deepen, Yongbok was quick to backtrack. “But she didn't tell you to fuck off! And since all your texts went through, she didn't block you at least?” Yeah, that was what he had been thinking. So, with a sigh, he sank further into the cushions. “I hurt her again. Even though I wanted to fix things, I just fucked up more.”

At Yongboks' silence, the rapper threw his hands into the air. “But I couldn't very well tell her that I was trying to look after Minho, so that that soulmate bond wasn't going suffer!” - “Why not?” At that simple question Jisung looked at their youngest dancer. “Seriously? You don't know why I wouldn't want to tell her that? On our first conversation? Really?!”

At that, Yongbok just winced. “Well, you're right. Maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to tell her that in this situation. But Jisung, I hope you know that you'll have to at one point. Because keeping that from her won't help at all– and don't even think about keeping Minho in the dark about your conversations with her.” Jisung shut his mouth with a resounding 'click' because honestly? Until things had calmed down a bit more, he had considered Minho not telling much about what was going on. Keeping his first soulmate happy and all of that.

Also, he literally didn't know how the woman would react! After all, not many people would like to hear that they had to share their partner. No questions asked. And they still were two guys! Jisung knew that many people in the West were more accepting and progressive than here, but he had no guarantee that Y/N belonged to those! So Jisung had to carefully navigate those waters. He didn't have any other choice!

Yongbok just started massaging his temples at this point. “Boy, I really hope that Y/N is more in tune and comfortable talking about her emotions and all that stuff. Because I know that you're better at it than hyung and you fucking suck, Jisung.” - “Sometimes.” - “Good for Minho, but not the point.” Here, the dancer let out another sigh, while the rapper cackled. Hey, at least his humour was still working. “In fact, our sex life is quite fulfilling, thanks for your concern. Should you and Hyunjin ever need any tips...”

Right, at this point Yongbok looked like he was seriously considering who of them was the oldest. By 7 hours and 35 minutes but hey. Older meant older and that was the point. “Look. I know you don't want to hear it, which is why you just tried to redirect. And I know that it will be hard for you with how emotionally constipated hyung is and how much you hate being vulnerable in front of others.” Another deep breath, which made Jisung sober up a bit. Because... yeah, this probably was not the opportune moment to mask his feelings with jokes. And the younger knew him to well to buy into it.

“But if you want to make this work, with hyung and with her, for one you need to be as honest with both of them as much as you can.” Ugh. Sounded nasty. Burden others with his worries and stuff and maybe hurt them in the process. This was going to be fun. And from the knowing look, Yongbok knew exactly what was going on in his head and that he was slowly turning into a sulking toddler. Which he knew wasn't a good look on him, but still.

“Also, for fucks sake, give the whole situation time, Sungie. Emotions don't heal over night. Neither do ego's so for things to progress, don't write her another apology tomorrow. Or even the day after that.” Yeah. Jisung totally had not been planning on doing that. And hadn't considered texting her exactly upon waking up. Right. “Wait for her to respond to you and maybe spend some time with hyung until then.” Well, he had been planning on doing that!

After all, he was the first and leading LeeKnow-expert!

But Yongbok wasn't finished still. “Take him to that cat café he loves so much. And get him pudding like every evening. Make him feel special, so he doesn't feel like you're putting him on the side.” The 'as you did with her' was left unsaid, but the implication was loud and clear. And could Jisung just mention that he hated when his twin was right?

Which only led to the rapper throwing himself back into the cushions while whining. “Why can't things just stay or be easy for once?! And don't say that 'that's life, bro' of yours!” Here, he pointed an accusing finger at the dancer who just shrugged.

Instead, Yongbok took another treat and shoved it in Jisung's face. “Eat a brownie, Jisung. You aren't you when you're hungry.”

Ugh. Munching on his third brownie, the rapper just glared at his friend. Sometimes... just sometimes...

But instead of voicing any of the thoughts that were currently running around in his brain, Jisung just sat up and pointed at the Switch 2. “So, are you up for a few rounds of Mario Kart?” And from the manic twinkle that entered Yongbok's eyes, he would soon get his ass kicked. But meh.

At least he could taunt and mess with the computer. That had to count for something.

So, after getting his ass handed to him, Jisung returned late to his and Minho's apartment. And while Yongbok hadn't been able to solve all his worries, he had gotten the dancers opinion and had a few more options to consider.

First of all – and he had been researching that when his first soulmate finally arrived home – he needed to find a way to reverse the rejection process. Because after some more soul searching and yes, the rapper was going to blame that on that infernal game that was only developed to cause conflict, he had decided that he didn't want to continue the process.

Like Jisung had said, he really didn't want to hurt her any further, so... if he was able to and Y/N couldn't forgive him and still thought him a worthless piece of shit – yes, his self-hate was going strong this evening - she would be to restart the whole process from her side.

At least, that time the pain would be received by the right person.

And yes, he wasn't in the best mental state right now. Sue him. And fuck all of this, he just wanted to nap but his head wouldn't let him.

Also, the tips and tricks on the internet about how body contact like cuddling or holding hands helped? Or spending time together? Or cooking together? Enjoying a meal? Going to the movies?

Well, fuck you internet.

That really wasn't something he could very well do, which in turn only worsened the mood he was in. Because really? It wasn't like he could board a plane and spend time with her. His group would kill him. Management would kill him. The whole company would kill him. He couldn't just abandon his schedule like that! Plus, he got the distinct feeling that Y/N wouldn't be very happy and there would possibly be a shoe or handbag flying his way.

So, when Minho finally came to bed, Jisung was in an immense foul mood. Maybe the size of Japan or something, if not bigger.

And his soulmate gave him a considering look, before scooting over to cuddle him. “Did something happen today? And should I be worried or put someone in the air-fryer?” While Minho sounded pretty nonchalant, Jisung could feel the moon pulse in slight worry so... yeah. He probably looked worse that he thought. At first, Jisung just gave a sigh, but before he could shake his head, he remembered Yonbok's words.

Right.

Emotional honesty.

Ugh. This was going to suck balls and not in the fun way.

So, with a grumble, Jisung closed his eyes. “Well, I tried reaching out to Y/N today and it didn't go as I planned. I hurt her pretty badly, it seems.” And while Minho gave a considering hum, the rapper could feel how the other closed off their bond from his side.

Right. This totally wasn't a surprise.

But at least his soulmate wasn't shoving him away from him, so... that was better than nothing. “So, what do you plan to do now?” At that question, Jisung just shrugged. Again, emotional honesty wasn't coming to him naturally, even if it was with the one person he trusted the most. “Well, I'm planning on reversing the rejection process. And wait for her to respond to my last texts. After that? Who knows.”

And really, he hated how having no plan and no clue about what was going to happen in the future was his only plan.

“Maybe she'll start restart the rejection process. Maybe we will be able to talk like normal human beings. I just... I don't know, hyung. Soon, the ball will be in her court, so...” And yes, he did let a little bit of the resignation he was feeling slip into his voice and into their bond. Just... it felt awful.

And her mark had been sending agony his way the whole evening since those texts and... lying down, with Minho holding him? He just felt exhausted.

When, there was a kiss pressed against his temple. “I'm sure she will choose the option that will be right for both of you.” At those words, the rapper couldn't help but look at the dancer with wide eyes. Because seriously? Where had that come from?

But Minho just gave him a wry grin. “Han Jisung. By now you have to know that you're impossible not to love. So I have full trust in you that everything will be alright in the end.” Well, at least one of them did. Even if that sounded more like something Chan or Yongbok would say. “And if she hurts you in any way, I'm going to skin and make stew out of her.” Alright, that sounded more like the hyung he knew, adored and loved.

And Jisung didn't even try to hide the chuckle that came from his throat. “Good luck with that. But if she anything like you, I'm not sure she'll be as easily imitated as Hyunjin is.” Here, the infamous Minho-glare was turned towards him. “Are you just trying to tell me that I'm losing my touch? How dare you, Han Jisung!” And before the rapper could protest, a certain someone had bitten him and then tickled his side, making the rapper squeal and squawk.

So yeah. There was that.

Also, maybe Jisung had surprised Minho two days later and kidnapped him to the cat café Yongbok had mentioned. Because seeing his soulmate happy and relaxed while feeding the cats and cuddling with a kitten on his lap?

There was little he could have wished more for.

As for Y/N?

Well, after a few more hours of searching, he had finally found a post on reddit on how someone had been able to save his soulmate bond, after he had to move abroad. The circumstances were completely different, but the author had written, that instead of his absent soulmate, he had shown their mark loads of love and sent calming and accepting feelings through the bond.

And after getting a whole load of nothing? That was better than the nothing he had had before. Because apparently fixing wasn't as easy as rejecting and when he had asked both Yongbok and Hyunjin – as well as Chan, because their leader usually knew about almost everything and anything or at least knew of somebody who could help – all of them had come up empty.

So yeah. He had ordered some lotions and creams and was hoping for the best. And that he wasn't going to make it any worse.

Meaning, in the evening, he tried to take care of both of his marks. Take off the foundation and after that the lotion was carefully applied to both of them. And while Minho had raised his eyebrows and blinked at the action, he had joined the rapper the next evening. It was a nice little action and while it felt great sharing this with the dancer, Jisung really hoped that some of that care would somehow make it to Y/N.

Other than that? Well, there wasn't anything new.

3Racha were still working. Sometimes alone, sometimes with others like versachoi, RESTART or Jun2. Meanwhile, their dancers would work together with the companies performers to come up with a new choreography for some of the B-Sides for their next comeback. Also, there was SKZ-Player and it had been some time since of them had dropped an unreleased song and...

Let's just say that it was hectic as usual.

And it was during on of these days, where Jisung was with Chan and Changbin in their studio, when his phone started ringing. Which in itself wasn't something the youngest rapper liked much. But a quick glance proved that it was his older brother and... Jaeseong usually only called if something important had happened, so it was better if Jisung answered.

And before anyone asked – yeah, he thought it a bit ridiculous that their parents had them similar sounding names. They weren't even twins, but 5 years apart, so the older one was approaching his thirties fast.

So, with a wince he tapped Chan on the shoulders and held his phone up so his leader could see why he had to take that. The Aussie just gave a nod, turning back to his laptop so he could play around with some of the tracks they were currently working on. And Changbin was on a snack run, so...

With some worry clouding his thoughts, Jisung answered the call. “Hey hyung. What's going on?” - “Hey Jisung. And not much. Work is the same as always. We can't all say that our schedules are as exciting as yours.” Well, at least the other didn't sound distraught, but more or less relaxed instead, so... it probably wasn't anything bad.

So, as they exchanged some small talk – like what was the matter with his brothers girlfriend, how their jobs went and how Minho was doing, Jisung's mind couldn't help but go into overdrive. Maybe he just wanted to talk about their plans for Chuseok earlier this year? Like, Jaeseong was a doctor and with him being an idol and their father a high-ranking business man? Well... making time for each and everyone could be quite hectic, especially since both brothers and their parents lived in different parts of South Korea.

And since him and Minho had spent the last Chuseok with the Lee's, they would visit the Han's this one.

Hopefully his mother still wasn't irked by that, nagging Jisung that if he had a woman as a soulmate, they wouldn't have to split the years, because Jisungs' father would be the head of the house for both of them.

Speaking of that...

There was one other reason when they called each other. And... oh, he really didn't want it to be true. “Hyung. Did Mom say something to you?” There was a silence on the other end of the line, which in itself was an answer enough.

Which fuck.

Now... it wasn't that Jisung disliked his mother. It was just... she had very clear views and wishes about what she wanted and thought best for their family. Like... how Jaeseong had become a doctor and Jisung had been supposed to go into law.

Yeah. That hadn't worked out that well.

And she had wished for both of them to have beautiful, kind, korean women as their soulmates. But with Jaeseong being born without one and Jisung getting Minho? Plus Y/N, not that she knew about that?

Well... it was safe to say that that expectation hadn't worked out either. Especially since his older brother was dating a fellow doctor and both had now future aspirations of ever having children. So her dreams of becoming a grandmother before celebrating her 50^th birthday?

One can guess, they are most unlikely to be fulfilled.

“Well, you know how our mother gets if she doesn't hear from family for some time.” Ah. That. Jisung couldn't help but groan, burying his face in his hands. “Did she claim that her mom senses are tingling and telling her that someone of her family is having problems right now?” It was something, she did every two or three months, calling each and every member of their family. First Jaeseong and his girlfriend, then him and regarding her mood Minho as well, after that their paternal grandmother, then his aunts and uncles, cousins, the list went on and on. Most of them just went along with that ridiculousness, so... yes...

Again, the sigh coming from the other end was more than telling. “You know how she gets. So since I haven't heard much from you since you came back from Europe, I thought I should warn you that our mothers senses have been tingling again. And that she's probably going to contact you soon.”

Right. Normally Jisung didn't mind his mother nosing around too much, since there wasn't really much he could tell her. While she had come to accept Minho, unlike their dad who had been a musician in his teenage years, other than listening to music and singing along on occasion she didn't understand much about what he was doing. But then again, with their rise to fame and their success, she had started to accept that she had a doctor and a musician as children.

But... the woman was like a shark as soon as she thought that one of them was keeping something from her.

It was in moments like this where Jisung was glad his father and grandmother were as relaxed as they were. And that they kept her in check if she flew too far off the handle.

So... it was probably best if Jisung talked to his grandmother so she could misdirect the woman again. Like... the old woman was crafty and she adored all of her grandchildren and their soulmate's without making a difference.

Especially since there was something going on in his life right now. And he really didn't need his mother adding to it.

Their call went on for a few more minutes, with him assuring his brother that everything was alright and that they would talk soon again – they wouldn't. It wasn't that they disliked each other, but both were much too busy to keep consistently in contact.

So, after Jisung thanked Jaeseong for warning him once more, he cut the call off. Only to let his head fall against the armrest and let out a loud groan.

When Chan, because he had his headphones on, didn't react, the rapper buried his face in the couch. While his leader had probably ramped up the volume to give Jisung some privacy. Well... while nice and respectful, he'd rather have it that Chan had overheard their conversation so Jisung could rant at him without him having to give context.

This was the scene Changbin walked back into, bags full with instant noodles and ice cream so they could get their creative juices flowing.

Which was probably good, because his own felt like they had run dry quite a while ago.

But still, he could hear their third rapper stop in the doorway, probably eyeing them both up and down. And while Jisung could have stood up and brought up what was bothering him, he hadn't felt up to it. Like, Chan wouldn't have ignored him, but...

Let him roll around in his misery for a while please.

“Did you two argue while I was away?” Hearing Changbin speak up, Jisung just gave a grunt. And apparently, it was enough to get Chan out of his hyperfocus. “No. I just thought he was still on the phone with his brother.” The youngest rapper just grunted one more time, since... meh. What were words? Just a social construct of communication, nothing more.

“And I see that it put him in a right mood.” Without much preamble, Changbin dropped some Pocky on his back, which finally made Jisung turn around. And after nibbling, he let out a deep sigh. “It's not because of Jaeseong.” - “Oh, he's back among the living.” And while the words were a little bit condescending, Changbin sounded mostly nonchalant about the whole thing. Also, he had already sat down next to Chan, so he could give a listen to whatever their leader had cooked up.

Meanwhile, the Aussie turned back to Jisung. “Do you want to talk about it?” Who shrugged. “Well, it's nothing new. Just my mother digging around because of her 'mom sense' and... I just really don't want her nosing around in my private life right now.”

Chan gave a considering hum. “Because of the mess with Y/N, right?” Well duh. What else had recently gone wrong enough that Jisung wanted to keep from her because she would try to... fix it. And for some reason, he surmised that her solutions and suggestions wouldn't be of much help. “No, because of the ridiculous outfits makes us wear time and time again – of course it's about my soulmates!” Here, the rapper let out a groan of frustration.

“I'm still waiting for her to write back while trying to keep things stable with Minho, but since none of us have literally any control over this situation, it makes me feel like I'm slowly going insane! I'm feeling as creative as a sack of rotten potatoes and the emotions coming from both marks make me want to rip out my hair at times! Because both are troubled and again – I can't do anything at this point!” When his last words turned into a shout, it made Changbin look up as well. And their leader look at him with raised eyebrows. “I thought things were looking up?”

And wasn't that the crux about it? All Jisung could do was give a helpless shrug, which made the other two members of 3RACHA exchange worried looks.

Before Jisung could say anything else, he was pulled into a hug by two pairs of arms. “Hey now, it's going to be alright. Just... give it time, okay?” Yeah. As if it was as easy as everybody said. But it wasn't as simple as Chan had just made it sound.

“And if you need one of us to take your mind off of things, just give us a call.” Here, Changbin gave him a devilish smirk. “I'll gladly make you cry in the gym again. I just know that we'll get you to develop a more visible six-pack yet.” Right. Jisung just looked at their gym rat with the biggest deadpan he was able to pull off. “Wow. Another reason. That sounds fantastic, thank you so much for offering.” But honestly? He appreciated it.

Even if the gym was probably not his favourite place to venture out to. There wasn't any cheesecake there, after all.

And true to his and his brother's predictions, his mother truly called that evening. But since him – and Minho as well because of course Jisung had talked to him about the incoming call – they were mostly prepared. And that allowed them to deflect most of her questions and everything.

Like really, his mother learning about Y/N was a thing that could wait until he knew more about what was going to happen in the future. And then a much longer while, because... the woman was a foreigner, which wouldn't please his mother.

At all.

Also, his grandmother hadn't been able to say no to his plea to misdirect his mothers attentions. So, the day after those phone calls he received an amused sounding message from his father who asked if he knew anything about his mother suddenly having trouble hearing? Well, he was clearly innocent about that and couldn't help at all with the issue.

And just like that, a few days passed by again.

Jisung stuck to his new routine with Minho while working his butt off. Because again, there was always a comeback around the next corner. So yeah, at least all that work and practice took his mind away from things.

He also stayed away from social media more than usual. Seungmin had come up to him to say that he seemed down at times. Apparently he and Felix had been talking, since his sunshine twin had seen a few posts – something Chan had admitted to have also seen – about how Jisung apparently had been acting odd in recent times. Had been since London, with keeping away from the pits during their concerts and how according to fans, he seemed a bit more dull during their interviews and... yeah. The rapper just had to admit, he just wasn't as good as keeping his emotions at bay as some of the others.

Even though... according to their second youngest, a few of their Stay had clocked on to the fact that something was going on with Minho as well. Which fuck. That was a first, and not a good one.

So, reading comments speculating about his mental health and/or his relationship with Minho – yeah. That was so not going to help. Luckily he wasn't much on social media anyway. Mostly it was Youtube, and there he stayed away from the comment sections and didn't click on any Stray Kids Videos.

No need for someone to fabricate a scandal. Thank you. But no.

It happened during one of their dance practices. Or well, he just realized it after he had finished. Jisung had fallen face first onto the couch and declared that he was never, ever going to get up again quite dramatically. His legs felt like jelly and his arms were burning and his lungs were aching and... yeah, he was exhausted.

But it seemed like their maknae didn't have any mercy on him.

Because the next thing he knew, was how a towel was thrown right into his face. “Hey Jisung! It's your turn to order food! So we can eat something before we all go home!” The rapper had just grumbled and made big eyes at his hyungs, but for once, nobody was falling for his puppy eyes. Not Chan, not Minho or Changbin

So with a groan, he wiped his face and righted himself while pulling himself up.

When he grabbed his phone, he felt his stomach drop. Because there was a message. That had been sent a few hours prior, but with all of their phones muted... the rapper hadn't known.

One, he had been waiting and dreading for for quite a while.

Y/N

Hello.

So... I know this sounds rude.

But could you please explain why you stopped the rejection process?

To say that he froze up would be putting the whole thing lightly? He felt petrified, as if he had been looking the basilisk in the eye indirectly. Because... what should he do? Should he answer? Just... what?

He was pretty sure that his members had been talking to him, but only when Chan laid his hand on his shoulder, he snapped out of the daze he had gotten trapped in. And when he asked what was going and if there was anything one could do to help? The only thing Jisung was able was stare at them, helpless... because...

Just how was he supposed to answer that?

Chapter Text

So, Y/N was finally on her regular summer vacation. The one were their kindergarten was closed for two weeks so every employee working there could take a much needed break from everything. Speaking the madness that was their daily schedule. And the colleagues.

In her case it was the women she worked with.

Because if she hadn't gotten her break? The kindergarten teacher would have probably strangled her most of them at this point. Because at this point most of them had started treating her like an invalid because of her hand and..! It was just... just... infuriating! Like she had spent the last week were they were cleaning the whole building sitting on her ass because Marian hadn't allowed her to be anywhere near the cleaning utensils and... ugh....

Like, the woman wasn't a small child any more, so for her direct co-worker putting food right in front of her? As well as multiple salves, which she had politely put back next to the others bag. Plus, all the tips about how Y/N was approaching a certain age were the body didn't recover from bruises and injuries that fast any more were not appreciated. Oh, and how she had to eat and take care of herself since she didn't have a partner. Furthermore, the kindergarten teacher should try harder to find a partner since her last break-up had happened ten months ago after all.

That was the point when Y/N had been this close to just strangling the older woman. Like why the fuck did she even keep count?! It was literally none of her business! Just why couldn't she be like others who had literally no interest in sticking their noses in other peoples business?!

And it had taken all of Diana's calming skills to keep the kindergarten teacher from exploding in Marian's face. Her other co-workers had shown a bit more emotional intelligence and stayed clear from topics like her wrist as well as future and past partners.

But now, she was on a holiday.

Finally.

And... after having spent the weekend with Phi, Gina and Frederick because yes, they were still her friends even if she had been absent for a while, she still cared immensely about them. Even if it felt like a chasm had started opening up between them. One she wasn't sure how to cross. Which was one of the reason why she had agreed to that overnight trip.

They had gone to an amusement park for two days and Y/N had enough fun and made more than a few good memories to last her for the next few weeks.

Plus, her foundation had finally arrived so she could finally ditch the brace. Now she wasn't allowed to go swimming any more unless she wanted to have it washed off. And she really, truly didn't want to explain that to anyone of her friends.

It was enough that Vi knew the gist of it. And while it was really relieving that she wasn't alone any more – with her deputy also knowing part of the truth – it also made her feel quite bad that she hadn't been able to tell her friend the whole truth. Even though she had stayed until Sunday, went out and bought groceries and cooked and...

Vi had just put her back together again, piece by piece. And yes, she hadn't only talked a bit about the situation with Jisung, but Y/N had come clean about her other relationships at this point. To say that the freelancer was currently heavily pissed off by Frederick as well would be putting it mildly. She also had threatened that if the kindergarten teachers first boyfriend reared his ugly head, she would put hemlock in his food.

And while Vi had stated that Y/N keeping secrets was completely alright and that she only had to tell her what she wanted to – tell that to the stupid little voice in her head! Plus, the woman was truly a saint. The freelancer hadn't even breathed a word to their Stay friends and kept checking in on her.

It was... sweet.

Also... and that came as a surprise to a few people... Y/N was really, truly, absolutely horrid with accepting help and kindness from other people. Which maybe she was that short-tempered with Marian, but she hardly accepted it coming from her closest friends. Barely from her family. And strangers and acquaintances were definitely not on the short list of people she was comfortable around in that regard.

But yeah. She had been in a pretty good mood.

That her mark had stopped hurting had at first only added to it. Made running around the park, eating snacks and riding roller-coasters until she almost wanted to vomit from the dopamine overload she was currently experiencing. Not that Phi and Gina were any better. The only one who didn't want to go on a roller-coaster had been Frederick, but they had gone to the less exciting rides together. And while the three women had enjoyed the wilder rides, their male friend had gone and watched a movie that had been playing in one of the parks cinemas.

And before anyone asked, yes it was the biggest amusement park in Europe and they had, along with the rides, two cinemas, three theatres and a musical, an ice range with a show and so much more. It was also why they loved to go there once or twice each year. Or more. Sometimes more.

They even had a nearby water park, which Y/N had to sadly decline. But, as sad as it was, she had decline the visit there. So, after two days, Phi and Gina had gone to the water park in the afternoon while Frederick and her had gone to the nearby VR Gaming Center and had played all the games available there. And while that had been quite expensive, it had been so worth it.

So, when they finally drove home, nobody was suspecting a thing! About something going on with her. In fact, Phi had even made a comment about how she was finally back to normal. Happy. Chatty. The life of the party. Just like always. Yeah...

But back to those three days. Because they had just been awesome. And everything was just amazing. She didn't even feel that disconnected from her offline friends any more.

Funny how that disconnection didn't feel that big with the others.

Until she had ran out of tasks to do at home after coming back and realized that after she had received those messages a few weeks ago, the pain had been gradually lessening. And now? The rash had disappeared and while the black veins were still there, the only thing coming from it were flashes of emotions.

Joy. Worry. Sadness. Anxiety. Happiness. Exhaustion. Plus so many more, plus a few she had trouble making sense off.

And during a short time in the afternoon, there was a fuzzy feeling coming from it that she couldn't name or decipher.

That in turn, made her feel even weirder. And she hadn't been able to really talk with either Diana nor Vi because... contacting her deputy outside of work felt wrong on many levels. And when she had shot the freelancer a message, her friend had just responded that she could always hound them on the internet or send someone cosplaying as an axe murderer to her soulmate's house.

Which... while highly creative, was also extremely unhelpful in that case. But it convened the sentiment that Vi still thought she shouldn't contact Han Jisung ever again. Should delete the chat and block the number and everything. Her friend had even said so before she left that Sunday.

So yes, it was the day after she arrived back home from the amusement park. And it was the first time were she was truly on her own, since she had intended it that way. Because Y/N hadn't wanted to be surrounded by humans because...there just had been too many humans around her with too many opinions and too much attitude. And after a while, that exhausted her.

Only... now that she had done her chores and phoned her mother? Well, Y/N was sitting on her couch, Merlin snoring on her lap and Hercules purring up a storm right next to her?

Well, she had time to think.

Which wasn't always a good thing in her case.

So... she couldn't help but being curious. And there was only so much she could surmise and find out on her own. Because what had become apparent and the only thing what the internet had been able to tell her was that the rejection process had been stopped. Halted.

And that was something she didn't get. Yes, Han Jisung had texted her that he hadn't meant to hurt her. How terrible nice of him. A ton of people had claimed that over the course of her life. Her parents, grandparents, friends and ex-partners.

It had become something that had been broken too often in her life. So... give her one reason why she trust the word of someone who barely knew her. Where Y/N only knew the persona he portrayed for the world to see.

So... again, maybe this was the part were she should stop overthinking. And if she hadn't been in such a good and relaxed mood? Well... she wouldn't have dared to text those three messages.

But.

She had.

'Hello. So... I know this sounds rude. But could you please explain why you stopped the rejection process?'

And now she had to live with it, because even if she deleted them, Han Jisung would still see that she had contacted him.

Only...

He wasn't answering. And that was totally not driving her insane.

Nope.

Not at all.

Her insecurities weren't rearing their ugly heads, no sir...!

Because the man could just be busy. He was leading a busy life, producing, learning dances, etcetera, etcetera. So... it was most likely that he just didn't have time to look at his smartphone yet. Which was normal.

Totally normal.

Yeah.

So before she completely lost her mind, she decided to text Vi. Maybe the freelancer could take her mind off of things. Or at least remind her why it had been a terrible idea in the first place.

Soooo... I did a thing....

Vi

Please tell me you didn't text him. -_-

… … … …

Tehe. ^^”

Maybe that wasn't such a good idea...?

Tbh, he isn't even responding. ^^”

Vi

Well, he better not if he isn't intending to treat you right

Or else...

I have ideas...

Ò.Ó

Don't worry. :)

I won't let anyone walk over me again. ^^

I mean... there are only so many Mareks in this world.

Also do I need to remind you that I was the one who ended both relationships who had gotten too toxic?

Vi

With your luck your going to catch them all like Pokémon

All the Mareks in the world

Also you're still talking with Frederick!

And didn't the guy drop some hints that he wanted you guys to try again?

Well... yes. But that boat had sailed in Y/N's opinion. Or to say it in form of a song? “We are never ever going to get back together” by Taylor Swift, if she was correct. Because she wasn't going to go back into a relationship were she had been pressured about sex on an almost regular basis. If she wasn't in the mood, she wasn't. End of story. Or when said partner had whined and gone on and on about how she wasn't ever going to really understand him and wasn't even trying and that she should have been his soulmate and... it had been just way too toxic in the end. And she didn't want to feel that small again, so she left.

But as far as ex-partner went, nothing beat in Marek in the category of most narcissistic and toxic son of a bitch. And that was saying something since she as a teenager had only been with that guy for six months.

And that had been before she had met all of her current friends except Phi, so they only knew the gist of the story. Except Vi. Plus, maybe it was a bit harsh to carry a grudge against a twenty-one unemployed bastard. Who had had the hots for a fifteen year old. While stringing multiple other girls around the same age, fancying himself the emperor of his own harem or some shit.

So yes, she would cling onto that hurt one until she died.

Forgive and forget? Neither was she Jesus nor did she have Alzheimer disease.

But yeah, she'd rather think about the present than past vermin. Like she had said, her relationships had gotten less toxic with each one, but... could anyone fault her for not having dated much?

Vi

Or waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...

DO collect them all!

And then put them in a sack

and smash them with a pan.

Multiple times

Alright, she really adored the freelancer in the most platonic way possible. Again, there was no way anyone else who was as creative with death threats as the older woman was.

But before she could answer, there was a new text message. From a contact called J.

And yes, it had been pretty basic to just save the number under a single letter. But... she couldn't very well have saved it as Han Jisung. Or Han. Or Jisung. If anyone of her friends would have gotten a look at that? No. Just no. She had no intention of having that particular conversation.

So, with short breath, a racing heart and shaking fingers, Y/N opened the text.

J

Uhm...

Well... I don't know how to answer that.

I mean...

I texted you last time that I didn't realize it at first.

Yeah, he had done that. And still... it felt like a hollow excuse. Something others had told her in order to make themselves look more innocent than they were.

J

And I know that it sounds shitty

And like an excuse

And that it doesn't take away the pain that I caused

And it doesn't make anything betterment

And that I can't tell you why yet makes it so much worse.

Now... even if she didn't have the mark on her wrist that was telling her that Han Jisung was currently panicking. Because that kind of... it wasn't spamming, but more or less mass-texting? She herself did that when she was anxious. Or happy. Or excited.

So, yeah, Y/N wasn't sure if she was supposed to find that astonishing or adorable. But right now? With all the emotions that were flooding her system? She was leaning more towards the latter.

Though that didn't mean that Y/N was just about to accept, forgive and forget and everything.

But... maybe. Just maybe...?

Maybe talking would help a bit? Just a bit?

You know, if it protects your privacy you don't have to tell me

And yes, it hurt, but...

I'll live.

As long as it's nothing irrelevant

J

I swear it isn't!

I didn't intend to, I just...

I wasn't careful and didn't read up and

I just fucked up.

And again, I am so sorry for that.

Yeah, that was so much earnest coming from the mark, along with anxiety and panic that Y/N couldn't help but a fondly smile.

Maybe she was an idiot for what she was about to do. Vi for sure would call her one. But... but... it was hard to stay distrustful of an apology if you could feel the others emotions while delivering it. And maybe this would turn into another Marek-situation. Or, on a smaller scale, a Phi-situation.

But she didn't know until she tried.

It's... well, not okay

but

and I don't know how else to say it.

But...

I guess we can talk?

Because I for sure don't want you to feel the same like I did.

J

YES!!!

Shit.

Uhm! Yes!

Of course!

I would love that.

And again, I can only apologize.

This time – and thanks to the relief that was replacing the anxiety and panic at a really high speed – the kindergarten teacher couldn't help but chuckle. Like, yeah. Those walls of texts were definitely more adorable than she would have thought.

You did that often enough. :)

I heard you.

And while I want to tell you that I forgive you for it, that will take time

J

Yes.

Of course.

I completely understand that.

I would understand if you chose to never forgive me for it

I didn't say that.

But I can be a bit unforgiving at times so please

give me time

I'll tell you when I've forgiven you.

Now... why did Y/N have the distinctive feeling that Vi, should she ever read this, would most likely strangle her? Even though she was only giving the idol a chance and nothing more?

Eh. Maybe it was best if she really stopped thinking here. Y/N was sure that her mind would come up with a lot of stuff that would probably never happen or be really, really ridiculous. It was a special talent of her after all.

J

Oh, and I'm very sorry

but we're about to get food

so I don't have time to text any longer :/

Oh... that's ok. :)

Don't worry too much.

Well... that was disappointing. A bit. But not surprising, after all. She knew that Han Jisung as well as his other members were terribly busy like all the time. She could probably count her blessings that even had time for her to answer.

And maybe those were her insecurities talking again. Like... shit. Maybe she should listen to what Phi had told her during their break up. About how it would probably good if she went back to therapy and such. Which yeah, that had been a really nice thing to say shortly after telling somebody they were leaving you. Fun.

Ugh. And yes.

This was what she was talking about. How her thoughts went and spiralled against her will, going on and on. Reminding her of stuff that was barely relevant in that situation and...

Yeah. Spiralling.

Not a fun thing to do.

J

I'm sorry

Like really, that I have to cut this short

Hey, no biggie

Just...

I'm currently on a vacation

so you can text me like...

whenever you want?

Or have time?

Like honestly,

don't worry. :)

J

I can? :O

Oh! Thank you!

I'll text later! :)

Promise

Well, let's see if you really would... and this was the part of her brain speaking that was cynical about other people. About their actions, their thoughts and their behaviour.

Only this time, she would squash that little acidic voice in its root, before it could sour something that wasn't even there.

Alright. :)

I hope you have fun.

And that the meal is incredibly tasty

J

Thank you. :)

See you later.

And take care as well.

And that was that.

With a giddy feeling in her chest, Y/N laid her smartphone to the side and buried her face in the black fur of Merlin. The cat had stayed quietly on her lap the whole time and now that he got her attention? The feline started purring up a storm, demanding pets and cuddles while her other cat continued to snore.

“Oh, what am I doing Merlin?” When the cat didn't gave an answer instead continued to purr, the woman let out a sigh. “Well, as long as you get your belly rubs and treats, you couldn't care less now, can you?” This time, the feline gave a slight meow, revealing his belly to the kindergarten teacher. At that the display? Y/N couldn't help but coo. “Like really, in my next life I'm going to be reborn as a house cat. Nothing to do except getting loved, sleeping, playing and eating.” And from the ongoing purrs? It seemed like Merlin had the same opinion.

So without further ado, the kindergarten teacher turned on the TV and went to Netflix. Because... with it being August, it was hot as fuck in her apartment. Meaning, there had never been a better time to turn on the first Mummy movie from 1999.

Had that movie given her trauma as a kid? Hell yes, but Evie and Rick were such relationship goals in a soulmate pair that she couldn't help but love them. Also the plot was really good, the horror moments not that horrific any more and the humour with Jonathan especially made her giggle like a small child.

Her other options were either the Mummy Trilogy, a Disney or Ghibli movie, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter. Oh. And the Jumanji movies were also great. And Detective Conan and Magic Kaito. So what if her taste in movies was pretty selective?

Glancing at the still telephone, she had to remind herself that she probably should call her mother soon. Her sister-in-law's due date was approaching fast and while she and her brother weren't really close, she couldn't help but worry about her sister-in-law and the little one.

But maybe... maybe she should call in the evening.

If she was truly honest, it was incredibly hard to focus on the movie. And what kept her from fidgeting, was her cat on her lap. Plus, Hercules soon seemed to grow jealous of his brother and started to demand attention as well, making her throw a hair tie again and again.

So yeah, she was playing fetch with her cat. Sue her, apparently he hadn't got his memo at birth that he wasn't a dog.

An hour passed by, then another and her heart began to sink. Every time her phone vibrated from a text, she started to hope only to be let down. One time it was Phi, asking her for the photos of their trip. Because she simply loved documenting their experiences and time together.

The next was Kate who had sent some Youtube shorts about Stray Kids from their latest Music Bank stage along with some edits into their group. Which in turn led to a flurry in the whole group. And while that did give her a few complicated feelings – because that was her soulmate and his friends there, so.... yeah... She liked their songs, liked their content and... it was just complicated.

The third was a text from her mother that everything was all right and there was nothing new to talk about. Which probably meant that a lot of things could have happened, either from them buying a new car or something harmless like them buying a new cat tree for their cat.

If her nephew had been born, she sure hoped that either her parents or maybe her brother would have called her. Or at least they had promised her after all. But... it also wouldn't be much of a surprise if they forgot. Wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last.

So, if her own family was able to forget her again and again?

Like Y/N had said, she was used to people breaking their word. Most of the time she just didn't give them the time to do that any more, so. The friends she had were those she had made before finally coming to terms with that. And maybe being too cautious wasn't the best idea, but it kept her from hurting because most people didn't even put her on their list of priorities.

With her closest friends, she knew that she was somewhere on their lists. And that should she need help, they would be there for her. Probably.

Vi had been. And the other Stays had been involved as well.

Oh!

She had gotten a text.

And dammit, she couldn't help the small, nervous flutter that came up in her chest. That hope that was clambering up her throat. See, this was why she was careful letting others grow close to her. Maybe it was because she had already liked his stage persona and... yeah. She was overthinking things again and...

J

Sooooo

Funny story

I wanted to text you earlier

Innie dropped the rest of his sauce right over Hyunjin

And then Minho threatened Hyunjin if he didn't stop getting sauce everywhere

Soooooooooo...

It was a bit chaotic.

It was really him! Chrm. Hust. Now keep you cool, it was just some texts.

But he had really written back, just as he promised and she couldn't keep the grin at bay that was showing on her face. Because... Y/N had wanted to believe that he would write, but the doubts...

But it sounds really amusing.

J

Well...

Seungmin at least thought so. ^^”

And Felix couldn't stop laughing either

But that's nothing new

Why does it sound like all your meals are chaotic like that? xD

J

Well, not all of them

Sometimes, we are too exhausted for chaos

Other times we eat on our own because of schedules

But if we get together? XD

It's a pandemonium

Well, Chan had said something about that in an interview once. About how Stray Kids being together was always chaotic and loud and full of laughter. And while that was probably an oversimplification, the kindergarten teacher couldn't have helped envisioning them during it.

It was a bit like when her or any of her friends whether it was Phi, Gina and Frederick had been together in the past. Or more recently, when Kate, Yuri, Vi, Lou and the Rest of her Stay group had hung out together that one time.

Well, I think it sounds like great fun. :)

J

^^” Not many out of us would say that

We often heard that we are much too chaotic

Just believe me when I say that I'm not easily shocked

I'm working with kids

So believe me when I say that I know chaos

J

:O You're working with kids?

Yeah. ^^

As a kindergarten teacher

Have for quite a few years if I'm honest

J

Wow. :D

That's literally so cool!

Wait, what? That... that couldn't be right. There was no way an idol, someone who had the dream job of billions of people had just called her ordinary job 'cool'. Because while she enjoyed it immensely at times, that was by far not the reaction she usual got. Most of the time, it was more a 'wow, that must be exhausting' or a ' huh, I couldn't do that' or a 'yeah, I would never chose that career'.

So, to hear those few words? It made her smile even wider and a warmth swept over her. Like... that was not normal. That was really... it just made her happy. Because going from the warm feeling coming from the mark? The man did truly mean it.

And wasn't that a novel concept?

Ah. -^^-

It's nothing special.

More importantly did you guys have a nice meal?

Apart from the sauce fiasco

J

Well...

Yes, we ordered some japchae

And some Sundubu jjigae

And Chan got some lamb skewers with potatoes

Seungmin got some Gimbap

Me and Changbin shared some fried chicken

Oh! And Felix got some pizza!

After that? For like the next half an hour, well their conversation seemed to flow and Y/N had to say that she rarely had such fun texting someone she barely knew.

Because while she knew that she was the most chatty one in her friendship group with all of them listening and conversing with her, this time it felt like she was on even ground with someone. Like Han Jisung seemed to ramble when nervous and so it was quite fascinating to listen to him.

The both of them were able to go from what was for dinner, to their current favourite artists, to if K-Dramas or western series were better, to if advanced mathematics should be considered a torture method or not.

That was when Jisung said he needed to go, because 3RACHA had said that they would meet at the studio later and... yeah. While she would have like to talk him longer, he still had a job. If Y/N hadn't been on vacation right, she wouldn't have had time to text this long either. It was currently 2 pm which meant that it was 9 pm in South Korea – and she couldn't help but admire him for that.

J

But I promise, I will text tomorrow

As soon as I have time :)

:)

It's okay. Don't worry too much

I hope you have fun

And that you guys can make much progress

Take care and sleep tight later. :)

J

I'll try and I hope we will.

Good night and take care as well.

Y/N couldn't help but smile at that. Good night indeed. It as still the middle of the day here, but... yeah, once more she found that little bit immensely adorable. And... she probably shouldn't think that of a grown man.

Then again, she often times found her friends adorable, so... maybe she shouldn't tell it to his face.

I will.

And Jisung?

Here she hoped she could just call him that, because she seriously didn't know how the honorifics in South Korea really worked, since Duolingo hadn't taught her that until now. And... the few K-ramas she watched hadn't nearly been enough to make things more clear, so...

Yeah, she should really look into getting a teacher. Maybe a online course would do something good. Or a private teacher, if it wasn't too expensive. Maybe it was a bit too optimistic, but even if they wouldn't, knowing Korean would probably be useful at one point.

But that was something she could think about at a later point.

J

Yes?

Thank you for keeping your promise. :)

It means a lot.

More than you can ever imagine

J

Oh

Uhm... well, it's no problem!

I always try to keep my promises

So... if I say that I promise something?

You can rely on me to keep that promise. :)

The woman had to sniff at that. The idol had no means to know what that small assurance meant to her. Probably never would. Still... it was something she was so glad to hear, she could hardly describe it.

Just... thank you. :)

Truly.

Chapter Text

To say that Jisung was glad about how the texts went would be an understatement.

Because not only had they been civil with each other, no the texts had been extremely friendly and he and Y/N had been able to talk about quite a lot off stuff. Like food and movies and while he didn't have much time – something that would be the case most of the time – it felt like he had fun.

And while he had been unbelievable nervous at first? For some reason that anxiety had started to lessen the more they continued to text.

A part of him wanted to attribute that to the soulmate fact, because conversing with Minho had been easy since day one. But... honestly, it hadn't started like that. And to compare it to his interactions with his first soulmate felt wrong. Like... a trap that was easy to fall in.

Because no matter what, he couldn't throw the both of them into the same pot. That would just lead to a conflict he really, really didn't want on his hand.

So, he couldn't help but give Minho a bright and happy grin. Because after they had cleaned up the mess Jeongin had made, the rapper and the dancer had decided to stay in the practice room. His soulmate because he had wanted to work on a few extra steps and moves and Jisung?

Well, he had thought texting Y/N while Minho being in the room would hopefully prevent some further tensions that could arise.

And while the dancer seemed a bit hesitant at first, he was quick to ignore the rapper as soon as he started practising. Or maybe the other one was just acting like he was. Jisung wouldn't be surprised about it. And even though he wanted to talk about what the woman was writing?

Jisung would wait until Minho asked. He didn't want to overwhelm his love when he wasn't ready. And when he was, he would hopefully come to him.

So when the clock showed 9 pm, the rapper just gave a sigh. While he had fun texting Y/N, he still had agreed to work with Chan and Changbin on some songs they could maybe put on another album. Or release on Youtube but still... he had an appointment to keep.

Which was why he said goodnight to the woman, got up from the couch and stretched with his spine cracking a bit. It was only then that Minho stopped the music coming from the speaker. “So, did you have a nice chat?” It sounded hesitant, accompanied by a bit of dread coming from the mark. Still, Jisung did his best to keep his tone light. “Yes, she seems very friendly. We just said good night, because I made plans with Chan and Changbin.”

The dancer gave a hum, then stopped in his tracks only to blink at Jisung multiple times. He did it every time he was confused by something and no, the rapper didn't find that trait absolutely adorable. “Wait... isn't she from Europe?” When he nodded in answer – because he still didn't know which country, but since they had met during the first day in London, it was only plausible that she came from there – Minho just cackled. “You do remember that there is a time difference right?”

Again, Jisung nodded because he was slightly confused what was so amusing to the dancer. But then again, it made warmth spread through his chest seeing the other man giggle like that. “You do remember that it probably isn't evening there right now? Maybe midday or noon at most.

Oh.

Oh!

The rapper couldn't help but groan and bury his face in his hands. “Shit. I'm an idiot.” Minho just giggled instead of answering, came over and pressed a kiss against his nose. And while they weren't supposed to do that – management had scolded them more often than the rapper could count about making their bond too obvious – Jisung couldn't help but beam back at his first soulmate. “Well, yes. But you're my idiot, so that's alright.”

With that the dancer leaned away again, despite Jisung making a kissy face. Hey, if he got one, maybe he could score a few more? Especially since the hallway outside was currently deserted. Also... withholding kisses should be a criminal offence in his opinion!

Still, Minho went back to the front. “It's no wonder that Stay put you in paboracha.” Well, that was rich of him to talk about since he was also in that unit according to their fans. Still, Jisung couldn't help the relieved smile that was on his face. “Yeah, laugh about all it you want. But she's still going to go to bed at one point.” The dancer just shook his head at that and made some shooing motions for the rapper to leave.

So Jisung did, with a soft smile on his face. He got out of the training room and left for their studio. And when Chris and Changbin asked him some questions about him texting with Y/N, the rapper couldn't help but smile as he answered.

Because this meant that things were looking up, right?

And for the next days, it truly looked like that. With his mood elated as it was, it felt like all his lyrics were writing themselves. Whether it was the rap parts, ballads or the songs that had that typical Stray Kids sound. Those that their critics and haters called 'noise music'.

Training and schedules also seemed a bit easier. Because with positive feelings as well as calmness coming from both of his marks. It made goofing off and making jokes so much easier, which in turn lightened the mood up of every one in the room. Like, the whole atmosphere was so relaxed, it felt like they made so much progress.

And the rapper texted Y/N when he had time. It was about so much random stuff, even more about their interests and hobbies. Funnily, Jisung still didn't know how old she was. But honestly? She couldn't be that much younger than him, so he didn't waste too many thoughts on it. Also... maybe he should ask were she lived since Europe consisted of more than just one country.

Although, it probably was the UK with how good her English was. Like... it would have been so much harder if she only knew French or Spanish and... while he would probably have considered learning those languages for her, not having to made things a bit easier.

Instead he learned that she was kind of like a jack of all trades regarding her hobbies. She knew how to play the guitar, listened to various kinds of music from all over the world, like drawing, cartoons and anime, was currently trying to teach herself how to crotchet – he could go on and on for quite awhile.

The rapper also learnt during texting a few days later that her brother's – probably an older one – and his wife's son had been born. And that she was looking forward to meeting her nephew.

And she also told him about her two cats, which in turn had led to him begging her for photos. Jisung knew that those would maybe help Minho with some reservations he maybe had about her. Because the dancer had often enough said that you could see a persons true character if you looked at how they treated their pets.

Going from the fluffy and relaxed cats in that array of photos – and the long messages the artist had gotten that regaled him with what those two felines had come up in recent days? Well, the woman seemed to worship the ground her pets were walking on.

Plus, Y/N had also asked about Bbama and boy did he love talking about his dog. It was a pity that the dog couldn't live with them. But... neither him nor Minho had time for a pet in their apartment so...

Maybe he hadn't had time to show the pics to his first soulmate yet, but the rapper could already imagine going through every photo. Or... he hoped so.

Because he still didn't know how to tell Y/N that she wasn't his only one. But... maybe Minho associating her with something positive – aka cats – would help the overall situation?

Alright, he was overthinking things again. And maybe that was why he hadn't shown the dancer yet. Like... the other was asking on occasion, but he didn't want to overwhelm his love so...

Yeah. Things were fine. Not perfect, but Jisung was slowly getting there.

So, Seungmin coming up to him, a small frown on his face?

Well, Jisung had thought it would have been about many things. But not about his second soulmate.

So when their second youngest suddenly showed up at their studio and asked to speak to him alone? Well, both him and Changbin were visibly confused. Their leader meanwhile just gave a long-suffering sigh, before vacating his chair and telling their other rapper that they would go on a quick food run. Which maybe wasn't that bad of an idea since they had been holed up for over an hour and the last thing Jisung remembered eating was some sushi before dance practice.

And that had been like five hours ago.

Huh.

So, after the other two producers had left and closed the door, Seungmin pulled Chan's chair towards the couch Jisung was lounging on while writing lyrics down on his phone. What could he say? The couch was just his favourite place in the whole room. Also, majorly comfy. And perfect for a quick nap, but now he was getting off track.

“What do you know about your second soulmate?” And... that was beating the whole conversation to the punch. No nice chit-chat – not that they needed it with how much time they spent together – and no beating around the bush. Just plain old Seungmin.

Only... Jisung would have been a bit less confused if the other didn't look so serious. Or even a bit worried. “Well... I know her name, her hobbies, some of her favourite foods...” And the rapper couldn't help but trail off at the blank stare he received. “But... I think I yapped about that before, didn't I?”

“You did.” After that, Jisung could only stare at his friend because... what was he getting at? Like... was there something the rapper had missed or...? So, he pointed towards the vocalist, trying to gesticulate that he should give at least a bit of an explanation since the youngest producer was more than a bit lost.

Luckily, Seungmin decided to have mercy on him. “But I wanted to know what you know about her. Not of her.” After a few very confused blinks – seems like Minho had rubbed off on him over the years – his friend started to further explain. “How old is she? What's her birthday? Where does she live? What's her nationality? Does she have any allergies? Who are her friends? What about her family? Do you have a photo of her?” A short pause and when Jisung didn't say anything, the vocalist asked the question that made his stomach drop.

“Do you even know what she looks like?”

Because the last thing was kind of a heavy question.

Like... Jisung hadn't been able to catch more than a glimpse of her face, and had seen her back only for a short while, so... Also, he didn't really know the answer to the other ones. Like... they were pretty basic, but... Well, the producer knew about her nephew and brother, but... not much more.

Why did all those questions sit really... why did they make him feel so wrong? Or like wrong-footed? As if he had been caught completely off-guard?

So, mood a whole lot fouler than for quite some while, the rapper couldn't help but glower at his friend. “Is there a reason why you're asking me all of this?” Instead of answering, Seungmin's eyes turned into slits. “So you don't know.”

And somehow, with how the vocalist said that? It really didn't sit right with him. “Maybe I don't know everything, but I text with her about a lot of other stuff.” At that, the vocalist just shook his head. “About both of your hobbies right? You know that a lot of that can be found in various of our v-logs, episodes and interviews? So, if you're only texting her, how do you know that she's telling the truth.”

Now, he really disliked what his friend was implying.

Because while it wasn't wrong what the other was saying – there was so much of them out there and it could be possible to fabricate a personality around all of that – but... no. Y/N wouldn't do something like that.

And yeah, they had stalkers. Sasaengs. People who would do so much, maybe even sell their soul to force a connection with them. They hacked their phones, looked through their trash bins and followed their every move. Some even waited outside of the JYPE building or right across their old dormitory. Hell, some even bought fancalls and one recent pair always found out the hotel they were staying at during concerts and booked there too. Luckily, their new home wasn't that obvious, so they hadn't seen any of their more... known faces around. So, to keep it, they all wore caps, and masks and baggy clothes to keep themselves as incognito as possible when they went out.

Jisung knew that all of that. It was all part of being successful, part of the darker side of the entertainment industry and by this time, they all had experience with people like this.

And the rapper knew that his second soulmate wasn't like that. Everything he had ever felt when they had texted – it had been caution and hope in the beginning and now? It was only happiness and joy.

So there was no way that she was fabricating anything. He would feel if she would do that.

Seeing the mulish look on his face, Seungmin's face softened a bit. Almost as if he was feeling guilty. “Look. I don't want to hurt you. But please be more cautious while texting her. And maybe ask her a few personal questions, instead of...” Here, he just trailed off, looking more uncomfortable than he did most of the time when he talked about something unpleasant. “I'm sorry Jisung. Just be more cautious, please.”

Yeah, right.

Instead of answering, Jisung let out a grunt and grabbed his jacket and phone. And when Seungmin asked where he was going, he just pressed out that he was going to take a walk. After all, the rapper didn't want to worry his members.

He had once before and... no, there was no reason to repeat any of that.

So, a walk along the Han river sounded perfect right now. That way he could clear his head as well as blow some steam off.

What he had forgotten was that taking a walk made him think as soon as his temper had simmered down. And the truly sad thing?

Seungmin wasn't entirely wrong.

While he still refused to believe that Y/N had fabricated anything she had texted him, it was true that he had gotten carried away and he really didn't know that much about her. Or at least not what other people would ordinarily ask others at first.

Also... maybe there was some truth in the vocalists words.

So, without thinking about it further, Jisung pulled out his phone and opened his only chat in What's app.

Hey.

Can I ask you a quick question?

Luckily, he didn't have to wait for long as he sat down on one of the benches. Jisung was also a bit surprised that he hadn't gotten a message from Minho yet. Because the dancer surely must have felt how he had gotten worked up. Or maybe his love was waiting for them to talk at home, which was most likely.

Y/N

???

And of course. :)

But... are you alright?

It seemed like you were really annoyed a while ago.

Or maybe angry, so...

Ah.

Yeah... well, someone told me something I'd rather not have heard

Especially since he's right.

So...

Y/N

~gasp~

How dare he be right when you don't want him to!

Preposterous!

Reading that, Jisung couldn't help the smile that stole itself on his face. Like, honestly... how come that both his soulmates had the ability to make him smile with just a few words? That had to be some kind of superpower.

Yeah, I know.

How dare he!

But...

Back to what I wanted to ask...

Y/N

Yes? ^^

Would it be alright if I'd call you later?

So we could maybe... talk?

Like... really instead of just texting?

For a few minutes, the only thing Jisung could see were the three dots indicating that Y/N was currently writing.

Y/N

asdfghklö!

Uhm!

I mean...

If you want to! O.O

And only if you really have time!

If you're busy with work

or if you have an appointment with the other members

or if you're too tired

or...

uhm

Well... what I want to say is....

yeah, of course. :)

I don't have any plans except cuddling my cats

And maybe play a bit Baldurs Gate

Jisung couldn't help but chuckle at the anxious ramble. Because he could feel her nervousness along with the joy spike from her mark. Which all in all? Made him slightly better. That she was looking forward to them talking on the phone.

You still haven't gotten into Gale's pants?

Y/N

… … …

I should have never told you about my current romance choice

You are a menace!

Hehehehehe

Y/N

=P

But talk to you later. :)

And don't forget to take a break and maybe it something tasty. :)

Yeah, yeah, you too.

Man, you sound just like Chris.

Or Changbin and Minho, always nagging me about taking care

Y/N

You know that this is a really big compliment? ^-^

But talk to you later. :D

At that, Jisung just shook his head with a smile and put the phone back in his pocket. Now he just had to inform Minho that he intended to call her. Because if the dancer would learn that from someone else, another misunderstanding could probably rise up.

That was the last thing Jisung wanted.

Right, he could only hope that those two would turn out to be soulmates as well. It would be ideal and, but for some reason the rapper didn't believe that the whole thing would this simple. So, if that wasn't going to be the case, maybe they could be friends at least.

But for that they would have to start talking with each other as well. And maybe... just maybe those cat pictures could be an icebreaker? Though, he shouldn't show Minho those when he was about to call Y/N. That could leave the wrong impression.

Oh damn, he wasn't used to think that much about interacting with his love and friend. Those were the moments the rapper usually just let go and-!

Great. Now he was just lamenting about his not so hard hardships.

Instead of doing that, the idol should make a list of question he wanted to ask the woman later. Like where she lived for example. Maybe that would ease Seungmins' worries a bit. Because he knew himself and he fully expected that should things go like when they were chatting?

Well, their conversation would derail pretty soon anyway. Of that he was sure.

So, before going back to 3Racha's studio, Jisung decided to visit Minho so he could talk to his first soulmate about talking to Y/N. Which took a bit longer than some might have expected – or not – since Minho was currently busy.

Only this time he wasn't working on a choreography, but he and one member of their newest boy group were doing a dance challenge. Him and Kang Juwang had met in the training room and were now filming the reel for tiktok and instagramm. And from Jisung could see – he didn't dare to enter the room because he didn't want to disturb them – it was showing the dance from Kickflips new song.

It took them a bit of time, but honestly? Watching Minho in his element was always a blessing, no matter how long they would be working together.

Only after Juwang had said his goodbyes to Minho and left, the rapper walked into the room. The love of his life was currently wiping the sweat off his face so he didn't see Jisung approaching. After making sure that no one was watching, he threw his arms around the dancer and pressed a kiss onto the others neck.

His soulmate gave an adorable squeak, before turning around with a frown on his face. “Hannie! Do you have to startle me like that?” Instead of answer, Jisung puckered up his lips, ready to beg for another kiss. Minho let out a laugh at that. “You are incorrigible, you know that.”

“Only for you.” And wasn't that the truth? “I'm only like that for my beautiful and astonishing and breathtaking soulmate.” Again, the dancer laughed heartily before pinching the Jisung in the side. Which let to the rapper letting out a loud squeal. “What did you do this time, Hannie? Or what do you want from me?”

Damn. Minho knew him too well by now.

So Jisung gave him the most sheepish grin he could pull off. “Well... what would you say if me and Y/N would talk on the phone later?”

As soon as the other heard him mention the woman's name, the dancers shoulders sagged a bit. As if he hadn't wanted to hear that. “I would wish you the best of luck? And if you would want me to be there during it. Or do you want me to stay away? I mean, I could cook something for us or go to the gym with the others.”

Huh. That had been something Jisung had never even thought to consider. Not the part about him being away, that was just... no.

So Jisung just beamed at the other. “If you would want to be there – maybe not on the phone but in the apartment with me? I would love that!” Because Minho had an incredible calming effect on him. And again, maybe that though was selfish, but his love showing interest in his other soulmate? It felt like a step in the right direction.

But only if the dancer really wanted to do that. Which Jisung wasn't really that sure about since the dancer seemed to be less than ecstatic about it. “Are you sure? I thought you didn't want any of us in contact with her.” Huh. Why and when had he given that impression?

He could only stare at his soulmate with an open mouth. Like... what? “Huh? Why do you think that? I thought I talked to you her and took your opinion into regard and everything.” Minho just shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Well, not you, but I overheard Hyunjin and Seungmin talking recently. And Hyunjin had said that one would appreciate some privacy with his soulmate and Seungmin asked a few more questions and...” The other trailed off, face growing a bit stoic.

There was a silence enveloping the both of them. Huh. It seemed like instead of him overthinking a situation it had been Minho this time.

So the rapper just tightened his hug around his soulmate, as if wanting to make sure that he he could cuddle the insecurity out of the other. “Minho, if you want to talk to her, I could ask her and then give you her number. I would never mind. And I'm sure she wouldn't mind either.” Like, he couldn't imagine anything else.

After all, Y/N had been at the concert, so she was a Stay. And furthermore, she was his soulmate. He had literal not a single doubt in his mind that she was among the fans who adored the dancer as well.

Right. There was no way.

No single way that she was one of those people who called his love cold, mean or unfeeling. No way.

At that, Minho gave him a wobbly, unsure smile. And while he didn't say anything else, going from the mark Jisung thought that the other appreciated it. Maybe that would also ease some insecurities his soulmate had, but hadn't talked about yet.

“If you say so.” Instead of answering, Jisung just nodded. Because he truly believed that. “Then how about some mandu as well as some fried chicken? As well as a few side dishes?” - “Sounds heavenly, hyung.” Like really. That sounded like such an amazing idea and he could almost feel himself salivating at the thought of some home made food.

The other just glanced around and when nobody was still in sight, Jisung got a small kiss against his forehead. And a sharp slap on his behind, accompanied by some words on how he should stop procrastinating and go back to doing his job.

Which he did.

And after some more or less successful writing and producing session, he went home with Minho at roughly 10 pm.

Also, what made him laugh was a message he had received from Hyunjin.

Jinnie

Can you please tell me why your soulmate threatened to feed me tissues?

And fry me?

And switch all my paints for sauces?

Because I did nothing!

Nothing you here!

Don't know.

You probably deserved it tho

Jinnie

-_- You probably deserved it tho...

No, I certainly did not!!

Like he said, Jisung could only laugh at that. Typical banter between those two and he would only intervene or partake if he was in the mood. And right now? He wasn't.

Instead, while Minho had went to the kitchen while the rapper sat down on the couch. Since they had an open kitchen and he was going to put his phone one speaker, his first soulmate would hear everything. And if the dancer didn't understand something, he could always ask Jisung at a later point.

Now he had only to remember to tell Y/N that Minho would be in the background, listening in while cooking. Which, again, she hopefully had nothing against.

Huh...

Maybe Jisung should warn her via text? So that he wouldn't surprise her.

Hey, uhm...

Fair warning?

Y/N

Yes? :)

What is it?

Would it be okay for you if Minho would be cooking in the background?

Y/N

Of course that would be okay. :)

Why would I be bothered by it?

I just wanted to check. ^^”

Like, maybe that would bother you...?

Y/N

:D That's sweet.

But honestly?

I'm not bothered. XD

I would rather ask him if he truly wants to listen to me yapping about why Naruto is superior to My Hero Academia?

:O

How dare you!

My hero academia is peak!

Y/N

Even better than SpyxFamily? Ô.o

… … …

You drive a hard bargain.

But I admit

SpyxFamily is the superior choice.

Y/N

I knew it. ^^

So, while rolling his eyes a bit, Jisung pressed the call button. And he had no idea who of his soulmates he had to thank for it, but... hearing Minho rummage through their kitchen in the background and after having joked with Y/N for a bit? His nerves had settled a bit.

And the first thing that greeted him was the view of a shirt clothed and some very short shorts. And legs, in a cross-legged position.

The only thing Jisung could do was blink, greeting getting stuck in his throat.

Now... maybe he should have thought more about what symbol he had pressed. But since the rapper and and the rest of his members usually only used video call? Well... he clearly hadn't thought things through.

Since... legs.

Uhm.

Just why did both of his soulmates have amazing ones?

He could hear Y/N chirp out a greeting, sounding extremely happy about calling. And really... the rapper should answer it. Like, it would be really strange if he didn't.

But for the life of him, Jisung could only manage a croak, like...

The rapper could hear Minho pause behind him, while a confused noise came from the speaker on the phone.

Then the phone was grabbed and he stared at a perplexed looking face of a woman wearing without make-up but with headphones on.

Jisung blinked.

Y/N blinked as well.

The next thing he heard was probably one of the loudest shrieks he had ever heard in his life. And knowing Jeongin, that was quite the accomplishment. Was anyone surprised that he screamed back?

Chapter Text

To say that Y/N had been more than happy that Jisung wanted to call was putting it mildly. Like... calling the north pole a little bit chilly or something. And... yeah, she had been extremely happy, alright?

The kindergarten teacher had even considered for a moment if she should style her hair, pull out her fancier clothes and put on some light make-up. Maybe even dress in her favourite outfit. Only face-palm because... it was a phone call. Han Jisung would only hear her face and not see her.

Also... it was freaking hot. Like... it was 37° outside and the only reason why she was still alive was the ventilator, cold water with ice cubes and lemon slices as well as the ice cream she was munching on while playing Baldurs Gate.

So yes, if she wore anything else than a loose shirt, a bra, her underwear and her shorts? The woman would probably suffer from a heatstroke. Also, Y/N despised the feeling of sweaty clothing stuck to her skin.

After taking a quick shower she refrained from putting on make-up and the whole she-bang. Like... she wasn't even planning on going out later. Because it was during the week and all her friends were busy with work. And... yeah she could go visit Phi and take Kimchi for a walk, but...

Again... it was hot.

And nobody was going to get her out of her apartment if it didn't mean they were going to the pool. But again, it was Wednesday. So yeah. If she wanted to go, the woman would have to go by herself.

Y/N was much too introverted for that shit, so no thank you!

So she had just dried her hair with a towel, dressed herself in her typical summer inside outfit and put her headphones on. Because from her calls with her mom the kindergarten teacher knew that the person on the other end would understand her much better if she wore them.

After all of that she went back to her couch and continued the game. And, because Y/N was feeling funny, she decided to lean her phone against her cat. Hercules only looked at her, completely unimpressed before going back to sleep. Her poor cats were suffering from the heat as well, but except stroking their fur with a cool and damp face cloth.

But she had done that like maybe half and hour ago and with the both of them lying in front of the ventilator? Y/N didn't want to risk them falling sick.

Where was she?

Ah! Right!

Pure, undiluted happiness.

Like, the woman had so much trouble focusing on her game, it wasn't even funny. So, when Jisung texted her that Minho was going to be cooking in the background and perhaps listen to their conversation? At least it felt like that fact had been implicated in that question.

Honestly, she wasn't that bothered. After all, both men shared an apartment and she was fairly sure that Han had already talked to the second oldest member about her. Also, as far as Y/N knew, LeeKnow was one of the nicest people on the earth. Plus, he was her soulmates self-proclaimed soulmate.

So after having answered the others question, she had put the phone back against Hercules back. The cat still hadn't moved. In fact, when the phone started ringing a few seconds later, the lazy bum didn't move either.

Busy with saving her file, the kindergarten teacher accepted the call via her headphone.

Save to say that the next few minutes were pure chaos.

And maybe, just maybe, Y/N had let a out a whine as soon as she had thought about throwing a blanket over her lap and legs. Because those shorts? They were much too short. Like... so short that she wouldn't even wear them outside and... like... with that dreaded 30 approaching? And since she didn't fit into the normal beauty standards and...

Right. This was her self-esteem talking. And all of her doubts rearing their ugly heads.

She was only happy that her shirt didn't show much cleavage. Or else the kindergarten teacher would never, ever recover from it.

As soon as the woman had her language skills as well as her blush back under control again, she picked up the phone. And the urge to just slam the red phone button was kind of overwhelming, but...

That wouldn't be of much help in the end. It wouldn't...

So, with a still very flushed face, she picked up the phone again. Only to be greeted by a black screen as well as her face in that smaller window. And gosh, did he look handsome. Not like those concept photos Yuri, Lou and Kate had sent into the group. Jisung was just there in was what looked to be a pretty comfortable shirt, no make-up and his hair looked as if he had run his hands through it multiple times.

Also those big eyes. Looking at her, which made the whole situation seem even more unreal. Like.. huh...?

What startled her out of her stupor was when she could hear a loud whine coming from her headphones. As well as was probably some Korean curses, but... hers wasn't good enough to figure out what exactly her soulmate had said.

“Why didn't you warn me that this was going to be a video call?” Again, that sounded like a whine, but she really, really couldn't help herself. Instead of an answer, he let out a cough while looking to the side. There was also a slight blush on his cheeks, just like there was one on hers. Because shit, this was a little awkward.

“I – I'm so sorry! It's just, me and the others, we are usually doing video calls most of the time so I – I didn't think!”

Hearing the other apologize, tugged a smile back on her face. Why... just why wasn't she really surprised about that?

Maybe because it wouldn't be that unlikely for it to have happened to her. And no, she wasn't just saying that. Because Y/N herself found herself sometimes doing things on autopilot. Most of the time, it went well.

But sometimes?

Well, sometimes the end result was quite hilarious.

Just like in this case. Y/N would bet half of her book collection that she would laugh about that stuff in a few days earliest and two or three months at latest. Maybe she would joke with Vi about it. The artist would probably be able to smile about it too. Or maybe just facepalm, because the whole thing was weird as hell.

Like... really, this was ridiculous.

So, when Jisung stopped rambling for a moment, she gave him an embarrassed smile. “Look, it's okay. Mistakes can happen.” When the other just blinked at her owlishly, Y/N couldn't stop the giggles. Because really... “And next time I know that when we agree to call each other, that I should style myself a bit.”

When the idol blinked again, she pointed at her face, with her smile a bit more sheepish. “Well... no make-up.” Then she pointed at the old shirt. “And that thing is hardly... well, anything.”

Apparently her words seemed to confuse Jisung even more. “But... why would you need to do that? I mean, you're at home right now, so...?” Well, yes, but how did she explain that even when she went to work, most of the time she only wore light make-up. And since she was working with kids, her clothes were casual and comfy.

So for things like dates and well... she had some fancier clothes. And originally, she had planned on making herself a bit more presentable for her soulmate. The man was surrounded by beautiful people all the time. Like Hwang Hyunjin. Or Hwang Yeji. Or LeeKnow. And the kindergarten teacher knew that she couldn't hold a candle to them. She didn't even want to and knew that trying would be a waste of time.

Still, Y/N didn't want to look like the thing that came out of the sewer. Or the Thing from the Addams family.

Which she currently did.

Or maybe almost. After all, she had showered.

When Y/N didn't answer and just kept pointing at her face. Because... talking about what was currently going on in her head would make her so very, very vulnerable. And she definitely wouldn't explain that all just now. It... no. She didn't know the other that long so...

The other blinked a bit, before pointing at his face. “I mean... I'm not wearing any either. And my clothes aren't that fancy either.” At his tone, Y/N couldn't help but smile. “Well, you look amazing, so yes. There's that.”

At her compliment, her soulmate just started to laugh. “Ah. Thank you. But if that goes for me, then it applies to you too.” Huh. Agree to disagree, but she wouldn't start to argue about that.

It was during that moment, when Hercules gave a loud meow. When she had started screaming, both cats had abandoned her for their favourite hiding spots. And now, the more fearless one of the two brothers had come back, protesting loudly about the treatment he had received.

So, she leaned her phone against a cushion – it was the PuppyM one and yes she had cushions from all eight SKZoo's on either her couch or her bed – and pulled the cat on her lap. Who just started to purr in content.

There was a coo coming from the phone and Y/N couldn't help the relaxed smile that pulled up on her face. One, that grew only wider when another, different coo came from her phone.

Because there in the frame, right next to Jisung was LeeKnow. Looking just as soft as Jisung did in that moment. Or Lee Minho, but maybe she should ask him if she could speak to him informally first. Since that was a huge thing in South Korea and... yeah, she shouldn't overthink too much.

Especially since the dancer was the first member of Jisung's group she had met. And running past a few of the members while escaping that stadium did not count. Hell, she didn't even know who it had been and...

Yeah, adjusting the phone so Hercules could look at the display, blinking slowly was probably a good way to make a favourable impression on the man. “Aiooo baby....!” Yes, going from that tone, her cat was doing really well.

And the woman couldn't help but beam as she watched the two men. Because while Minho was looking at Hercules, eyes almost glittering with adoration, Jisung was gazing at the dancer with such a fond expression, it made her feel warm inside and out. That emotion was only amplified by what was coming from her mark.

Really, it made her feel jealous for one quick moment. Y/N knew that those men all shared a very close bond, one that she could only hope of ever achieving with anyone.

And while she was pretty close with her friends? It seemed different. Right now, Vi was the one closest to her, but even the artist didn't know everything. And Y/N had agreed to that and she didn't regret it one bit.

Just...

Alright, the woman didn't even know what she wished for in that moment. Maybe just for someone to look at her with that much adoration. But meh. That... was probably just a pipe dream.

So, instead of focusing on that feeling, Y/N decided to call for her other cat. And while being the biggest scaredy cat in the world, Merlin came out of his hiding place, peaking towards the display. Which resulted in another “Baby!” and a small laugh coming from her soulmate.

Well, maybe now was the time to introduce herself. And hope that she didn't botcher that Korean greeting as much as she feared. “Hello, my name is L/N Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you.” At the phrase, both of them looked at her, more than surprised.

And the next words that Jisung spoke to her – in Korean as well – were much too fast for her to understand. So, Y/N couldn't help but wince. Which made Hercules look quite affronted. In fact, the cat stood up all proud and huffy and left her lap. Not that it mattered much, since his brother was clearly happy enough to take his place.

“I'm sorry, that was way to fast for me... Sadly, I'm not that good yet.” While Minho blinked at her, clearly trying to comprehend what Y/N just had said – the dancer probably had the same problem she had had right now, with the woman having spoken too quick – Jisung made a sound of understanding. “So, you're learning Korean? Are you taking a course or...?”

“Well, I've been talking to a private teacher for like two weeks? But I haven't learnt much yet.” And here, it was going to be a bit embarrassing. “Like, I've been using Duolingo as well and I'm trying to get as good as fast as possible, but it's pretty hard. I'm sorry that I'm not faster in learning.” Hearing that, Minho nodded, face empathic. “Don't worry. English is hard also.” And all that was said with that tiny accent that so many fans including herself adored.

And nobody could judge her, since the rapper was looking at his teammate with hearts in his eyes as well. Especially since Minho pointed at her with a glare. “Now. Give me back kitty. Cute. The name? Or...” Here, he seemed to struggle, apparently lost for words. Which made Y/N laugh. “200° degrees in the air fryer?” The resulting “Hmpf!” was answer enough.

It was safe to say that they didn't get much talking down at that point. In fact, since that moment, it seemed like Lee Minho had take over the call. Not that Y/N minded. It was always so very, very endearing and wonderful having people coo and fawn over her cat.

It was marvellous.

And even though the dancer wasn't that good in English and her Korean was severely lacking, they somehow made it work. In the end, both idols knew more about Hercules and Merlin than they probably did about her. Which was absolutely fine. Y/N enjoyed talking about her cats more than she did about herself.

All too soon, the call had to end since it was getting rather late in South Korea and none of the two had eaten yet. Now, Y/N knew from the bubble app that Minho was currently dieting, because he had said that some people he had gotten a small tummy. Which... she couldn't really believe, but... who was she to say anything about his weight, especially since she had only... right.

Not her business unless someone said something to her about it. Then the woman could tell them that in her opinion they all looked incredible and the main focus should be that they were happy and healthy.

So, Y/N bid them goodbye and wished them a relaxing evening. And maybe Minho had ordered her to send as many cat photos as possible. And yes, Jisung had laughed quite hard at that.

It was save to say that roughly ten minutes she got a text from an unknown number that only said “Kitties. Now.”. Well... who was the woman to refuse? Also, maybe she got a bit cheeky and after sending a photo of each of her cats and asked him about his.

Which resulted into quite a long chain of messages regarding each of Minho's three cats. It was... so extremely gratifying to read those texts and to see how excited the dancer got.

Plus, maybe Jisung had texted her in a humorous tone if he was getting replaced right now. And just maybe she had replied that the whole soulmate thing was just a ruse to learn more about Soonie, Doongie and Dori.

And when she went to sleep that night, it was with a much better mood than many times before.

Only to wake up to a text from another unknown number.

unknown

Good morning, this is Kim Seungmin.

I took your number from Jisung's phone, since he refused to give it to me.

And I'm writing you as I have a few questions about your person that Jisung is either unwilling or unable to answer.

Yeah... right...

Like, this was so absolutely not suspicious at all...

Y/N couldn't help but squint at the phone. Because... was it possible that it had gotten hacked? And was someone now trying to get more information out of her?

Oh hell no! There was no way that she would let that happen! The woman was already this close to deleting the chat, when a pretty foolish thought entered her brain. Because... what if it truly was the vocalist? Which yeah, was pretty stupid since he didn't have any real reason to contact her. At least, as far as she knew.

But if it truly was the man? Well... she didn't want to get on his bad side.

So, after considering what she should do, she opened her chat with Jisung. Because if his fellow member had done something, it would be easier for him to find out than for her.

Stupid question ^^”

Is it possible that Seungmin got my number from your phone?

Because I got a text that was kind of suss and...

better safe than sorry. xD

After that, she put her phone away, since she had no idea when her soulmate would be able to answer. Could take a few hours if he was in the studio with Chan or Changbin or learning a new dance or just busy with his schedule in general.

So, Y/N decided that it was probably for the best if she did some chores. Like... she definitely needed to change the sheets on her bed and with two cats? The whole endeavour could take longer than she sometimes wished. Or planned for.

Then she decided to fold some laundry when there wasn't any message. This went on for a while, with the woman keeping herself busy until she heard the familiar message tone..

J

o.o He did what?

Well, I got a text from an unknown number

And it said that it was from Kim Seungmin, that he has questions and that he took my number from your phone. ^^

J

:O That little...!

Wait a moment, I'm going to ask him.

There was a short pause and then...

J

That little shit! Ò.Ó

I am so sorry!

He totally did that!

And he had the audacity to call you a snitch!

LOL. XD

Alright, at least I know now that my phone hasn't been hacked.

J

It wasn't...

-_- It's just a very bad puppy who apparently has no sense for personal boundaries.

Again, I'm so sorry... he really shouldn't have done that.

Don't worry about it. :)

I was just worried that your or Minho's information would get leaked.

Now that I know that this isn't the case, I'm not bothered. ^^

J

You sure? ôo

If you are, I could talk to him again.

Make sure that he wouldn't bother you again.

I am. ^_^

Don't worry about it.

And I'll just ask him what he wants.

J

Careful, he bites.

Isn't that more of a LeeKnow thing?

And with that Y/N closed the chat with Jisung to switch over to the one with Seungmin. And honestly, maybe that thought was a bit pitiful, but the woman couldn't help but smile about how she would be able to briefly text another one of the Stray Kids members. She had been a fangirl for too long and in this moment? It showed.

She could just imagine Kate or Vi completely losing her marbles. As well as her other Stay friends. Outside of them, maybe Phi would still be happy for her, while the rest would probably be in a bit of disbelief. Furthermore since she didn't have a particular good explanation for why she did

But back to the situation at hand. Because she still had a vocalist to respond to.

Again, that thought made her feel impossible giddy beyond compare.

Excuse me for taking so long to respond.

I just had to made sure that you were who you claimed to be

and not someone phishing for information or a conman or something.

unknown

Yes, Jisung said that you told him I messaged you.

Are you ready to answer my questions now?

Huh. Well... that was pretty no-nonsense. But then again... maybe after exchanging cat pictures with Minho after speaking to the man one time she had thought that... never mind.

As for questions?

Uhm... sure?

As long as they're not too invasive or private I've got no problem with that.

What followed could mostly be compared to a job interview, if little else. Or an interrogation by the police, if Y/N would choose to be a little less kind. It started from her date of birth, to her current work, her hobbies, her blood type, her MBTI, her aspirations, where she lived, to the members of her family, her friends, her favourite vacation spots and so on.

And the kindergarten teacher tried to be as honest as possible. The only thing she kept to herself was that she was still an avid reader on AO3 – listen, those fanfictions were good and much more to her liking than 99% of the books she found in regular stores. Also, frankly speaking, t wasn't the vocalist business if her fantasy and adventures novels were from her most beloved site on the internet. Or tumblr.

Period.

Also, was it kind of sad that her only aspiration left in life was to live happy?

Like, Y/N wouldn't mind seeing more of the world, but her main goal was to have more good than bad days in a week so... it kind of felt a bit shallow telling that to somebody who was as hard working as Kim Seungmin was.

But at one point, it seemed like Seungmin had run out of questions to ask her. Or he was getting more to the end of his list since the pauses between them were getting bigger. And when she started to get slightly annoyed – because really, she had no idea what her username on X or Tiktok were! She didn't post, she had just gotten the first so she could get faster updates from the official Stray Kids account and she couldn't even recall the last time she had been on Tiktok! - she had to remind herself that a) she wouldn't lose her patience with one of her soulmates friends/chosen family members and b) that he had a very good reason to be suspicious of her.

Like she didn't know much, but she had heard enough through the grapevine to know that they all had some problems with stalkers and sasaengs. And if Y/N could at least put those worries to rest, she was glad to help.

Still... being that insistent on her usernames... never mind. It was all water under the bridge or whatever. But despite that... she still had to save that number under a contact... and... well... since nobody was going to see it and know what it meant?

Well, Y/N decided to get a small revenge that way.

minimenace

I would have one last question for you.

And this one is really important as well.

Maybe even the most important of all of them.

Ah. It was nice to see that her gut feeling had proven true at this point. Maybe now she could go and make herself something to eat. For some reason, she felt like she could eat a whole cow.

But still. She couldn't help what exactly the vocalist meant by that. Maybe Y/N had missed something, but... what else could there be?

:) Shoot.

minimenace

Who is your bias in Stray Kids?

Say it's me, then I'll never let Jisung live that down.

Alright. Now that... that was devious. The woman could only cackle at imagining the chaos the vocalist would sow with those words. And... the little devil on her shoulder was currently howling with laughter. But...

Hm... I would say yes, but change it to Changbin.

Sounds less like you came up with a prank to annoy them. ;)

minimenace

Huh.

I like the way you think.

Keep this up and this will turn into quite the fruitful relationship.

Also, I would ask you to keep from mentioning to Jisung that you're older.

Huh?

Why? Oo

minimenace

Because now Noona has a boyfriend.

And I'm never going to let him forget that.

This time? Y/N was howling with laughter. And to hell with her being annoyed. If Seungmin was going to include her in the shenanigans he was pulling with his fellow members? Then she could endure all the questions he had.

Hell, this was gold!

Wouldn't it be more correct to say Noona has a soulmate now? xD

minimenace

That would make the whole thing to obvious.

Just leave it to me.

And remember.

Don't mention your age around him!

I bet that that idiot only remembers to ask you in like six or eight weeks.

Lol

Don't worry, my lips are sealed. XD

Who am I to deprive you of your fun.

minimenace

Very good, my accomplice.

You're welcome. ^^

Just...

xD

Text me how he reacts to your pranks please. XD

Like.... that will really make my day.

minimenace

Mayhaps.

And... that was the last thing Seungmin wrote. Which honestly, wasn't that surprising.

But... now that she had more contact with Jisung as well as two other members? Maybe she really should increase her Korean lessons.

Chapter Text

To say that Jisung was slightly apprehensive of asking to call her again was putting it mildly. Like, in the end it hadn't turned out too bad. Like... Minho and Y/N were texting. Not on a regular basis. And their exchanges weren't that deep – it was mostly about Soonie, Doongie, Dori, Hercules and Merlin, but he got the feeling that if either of his two soulmates heard him say that, he would probably get quite the tongue lashing.

And another sad thing was that Y/N's vacation had ended, which meant that she couldn't answer him whenever Jisung texted her. They had a strict no-phone policy around the children at her work space, so the kindergarten teacher could only write in the morning, her break or after she had left.

Rarely had he cursed the time difference more.

Or the fact that with this close to release of their next album, all of their schedules were packed to the brim. Because there were photo shoots, music videos and teasers and so much more to film, as well as... yeah. Sometimes Jisung didn't even remember how he had gotten into his bed.

He was just so extremely lucky that he had Minho always near him. And that even when he couldn't really text, Y/N always left really anecdotes about her day. About how a few girls from her group had decided to turn her into a flower dragon and had put daisies and dandelions into her air. Or when a boy had jumped onto the table, claiming he was spiderman. Or when one of the new children who were only starting daycare had smear strawberry jam all over themselves, her co-worker as well as the table.

Y/N claimed that she was just lucky that the co-worker didn't know their music, because she would have been decidedly unhappy that the woman had started humming jjam in that moment. Which really... the idol would have loved to see this.

She also told him that her nephew had been finally born after two days after she had gone back to her job. A healthy boy named Charlie, which Y/N hadn't been allowed to visit yet. A fact that made her slightly sad, but apparently her mother, brother and sister-in-law wanted to make sure that the baby would get infected from the various viruses that were regularly sweeping through the woman's workplace.

So yeah. While it was totally understandable, Jisung could understand why that had gotten her down a bit. Especially since they hadn't even said when she would be able to see the baby at a later point. When asked, her mother had just said “not for a long time”, so... yeah.

But... speaking of seeing things... and on a slightly unrelated note...

Looking at his second soulmate's profile picture that was not a selfie, he couldn't help but kind of wish that he had some kind of picture of her.

Or with her.

But the last part, well that would have to wait until they would be able to meet face to face again. Which... was kind of hard with the distance between this and the rapper had no idea how to start this conversation.

Argh... he really shouldn't think to hard about stuff at almost 4 am. It made Jisung's brain just feel sluggish, even more when he knew that he was supposed to wake up in four hours again for the next photo shoot for their third concept.

So, the rapper couldn't help but whine in the pillow. Which earned him a light pat from Minho, who was laying next to him, close to dozing off. “What's the matter, Hannie?” It was pretty slurred, so yes. His first soulmate was close to drifting towards dreamland. Which made Jisung only feel more bad about having disturbed the other. “Nothing. Just go back to sleep.” When the dancer made a concerned noise, the younger let out a sigh. “I just... I recently noticed that I don't have a photo of Y/N and... don't know. It irked me just now.”

There was a sigh and Minho buried his face into the pillow. “Dummy. Just ask her.” And with that wise words, the other was gone. At the soft look on his soulmate's face, he couldn't help but press a kiss against the others forehead. Then his nose.

And without thinking much further about it, he shot Y/N that message before falling asleep as well. Just... when he woke up? Her answer hadn't been exactly what he would have anticipated if he had had the time to think about it.

Y/N

I mean sure, but...

Like... one of us together?

Or... like one of just me? Oo

So... yeah. Maybe his brain wasn't functioning properly, but that sentence made no real sense to him.

Well, one of you. :)

Because while photoshop can work some wonders, I would prefer a real one.

Glancing at the clock only showed that he would have to wait for a few hours, because if Y/N had even an inch of self-respect, she should be asleep at this point. Well, the same should be said about him, but... yeah. They had a schedule. A pre-recorded Interview that would be shown shortly after the next album dropped.

So setting his phone back on his night stand, the rapper stretched and yawned, feeling his bones crack in places. It was in that moment that Minho came back to the room, looking as bleary eyes as Jisung felt with two cups of coffee while still wearing his sleep wear.

When the rapper just made some grabby hands in the direction of his mug which the other gave him along with a soft kiss to his temple. “Good morning Hannie. Did you sleep well?” As an answer, Jisung let out a hum, sipping at the scalding hot beverage. “Mh... too short... want to sleep for five more minutes...” Minho gave him a knowing glance, a smirk playing on his lips. “You're saying this as if you're not going to continue slumbering in the car.” Which... true, but a bed was so much better than a car seat. A sentiment that he conveyed with a pout and a big pair of puppy eyes.

And... sadly a glance towards the clock cut their leisurely morning short. And honestly? With all the stress surrounding getting ready and the interview itself? The strange message kind of slipped his mind.

Only when everything was dealt and done with had Jisung time to look at his phone again. Meaning, when he and most of the others had their make-up down and were waiting to be let into the room with the interview. And what he read there made him frown even more.

Y/N

Nah. XD I'm honestly shit at photoshop.

I'm talking about the selfie you made during the concert

I still have it saved so I could send it if you want. ^^

But if you don't want to, I can send you one of me only.

Your choice. :)

Now... there was a slight itch in the back of his brain. But for the life of him his brain wouldn't spat out a memory or something else. Just... this inkling. Which in turn made him feel bad about it. Because there was no way that she would lie about something like that.

And that would also explain when Jisung had touched her. Until now the rapper had thought that it had been a brief touch of fingers when he had run past the Stays in the front rows. Or those he had fist bumped or given a high five.

Because selfies... It was a bit rarer for him to do those.

At the same time it was a small relief that their first interaction if he could call it that hadn't just been a brief passing, but on the other? “Guys, do you remember me taking a selfie with a Fan during the first day in London?” At his question, Changbin as well as Hyunjin both looked up, exchanged some glances before shrugging. The others were either busy or the moment or hadn't heard, but Jisung imagined that they would answer differently.

Right. If he couldn't recall, there was an even smaller chance the rest of his members would.

Well... if you would share it I would be very happy. :D

Like... if this was true, then it would be such a huge coincidence. Maybe it was a bit strange, but the rapper couldn't help but feel slightly happy about how there was one. Despite of the evening having ended less than preferably.

But it was probably better if he didn't think to much about it. It was already in the past and while he had fucked up big, they were on better terms and his second soulmate had accepted his apologies.

Then, even though his second soulmate was at work, it didn't even take like a minute until he could see the notification for a new message popping up. And when he opened it, he couldn't help the smile that kept blooming on his face.

Because it was quite the nice photo, if he was honest.

The both of them were holding up a peace sign towards the camera and Y/N was beaming so brightly as if the sun was shining from her eyes. His own grin was quite wide as well and there were like a million lightsticks in the background.

And yes, there were parts of other peoples faces in the frame as well. It was also just a little bit blurry, since apparently the idol had been unable to keep his hand still.

It looked genuine. Real. And that was what made the selfie so beautiful.

So without even thinking much about it, he walked over to where Minho was sitting on one of the chairs. “Hyung, look. Apparently I took a photo with her.” And maybe he was only a tad excited about it, but... Jisung was just happy that he could use it as her contact info. Plus, that in theory he could show that photo around just like the ones he had with Minho.

“Well, no wonder you took one. She looks cute in that outfit.” Now that was the teasing remark he absolutely had expected. Still, Jisung couldn't help but note that his love's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he looked at the picture. Even though that was pretty fast concealed with how the dancer poked him in the ribs. And the rapper couldn't help but shriek, momentarily forgetting about that tone of voice.

Still, he couldn't help but smile wide as he sat down next to him, slightly breathless from the tickles. “Man, I can't wait until we can meet her and we three can take a photo together.” Like, Jisung didn't know why he liked that thought so much. But yeah, he was still ecstatic about how Minho and Y/N had started texting.

Still, again, there was a conflicted look on the dancers eyes. Like, the rapper really couldn't put his finger on it.

But before he could do something a melody, much too familiar and more than a bit haunting started to play. And swirling around, he could see Seungmin holding up his phone with a wide smirk on his phase.”

“Excuse me noona, do you have a boyfriend?” - “KIM SEUNGMIN – WHY?!”

It was safe to say that while screaming his lungs out, Jisung made a dash towards the vocalist who looked even more tickled about his reaction than he usually was. And while everyone else was laughing at him, he was fairly sure that in a few seconds Changbin and Chan would help him.

God, why had they ever thought that publishing this was a good idea?!

Sadly, for some reason it seemed to become a trend for Seungmin to play that damned song more often. Only around Jisung and only his part. And when he had questioned just why – the vocalist had just smirked again, again and again without offering an explanation.

Not that that was untypical. Still... that was a new kind of torture he had no idea what he had done to earn it. And none of his other members nor his two soulmate's showed him any pity.

Minho had just smirked and Y/N had sent him some 'lolololol' and laughing smileys.

Traitors, the lot of them.

But Seungmin being more and more of a menace didn't end there. And while it was confusing, most of the time it was also a bit funny. After Jisung got over the fact that his friends jokes suddenly seemed to be mostly on the rappers cost.

Sometimes, it even seemed like his second soulmate was in on the jokes at times, because sometimes, Seungmin teased him about things he probably talked about with the kindergarten teacher. And while on one hand he was happy that they seemed to get along pretty well, some times it irked him a bit.

It was when he was whining to Y/N via text – and yes, he wasn't above admitting that. Because the vocalist had told him a while before that Changbin was Y/N's bias. And if that was the truth, that was completely fine and cool and everything. But from the tone his friend had used, it was clear from the tone that he was being a menace again.

And from the many 'Lololol'? Yeah, those two were clearly being menaces together.

“Jagi?” - “Hm?” There was some amusement in his loves voice when he came into the bedroom. And looking up, the rapper could see that Minho was holding a package in his hand. “Did you order something online?” At that question, Jisung had to think about it for a moment. But... while he preferred online shopping, the rapper didn't have had time to order something in the last two weeks.

Minho just hummed for a bit, before falling silent. Then there was a small “Huh”. And... what was 'huh' supposed to mean? But before Jisung could answer it, his soulmate gave him the package.

It wasn't really big. Not bigger than his hand.

Only when he read the address of the sender did he do a small double take. Because that was Y/N's name that was written there. What was just a bit surprising was that it wasn't from the UK. It was from Germany.

Huh.

Strange. But then again, he had never asked her where she lived. Jisung just had thought and... huh. Seemed like he was wrong again.

Damn. He should probably really work on his conversation skills. Maybe he would just have to listen to Seungmin for once.

Ugh.

So, without much hesitation, he started to unwrap it – because everything looked legit and while he didn't know where Y/N got his and Minho's address from – there was little doubt that it was from here. Or at least it should be.

But apparently, his first soulmate was a bit more suspicious than him. Before he could get the contents out of the box – stupid tape was in the way – Minho took it out of his hands again. “Jisung? Before you open it, could you please ask her if she sent you something?” Ah. It almost sounded like the other was scared of something.

And that reminded him of what had happened to another idol a few years ago. Where a sasaeng had put glue into the idols drink they had gifted to them. Jisung hadn't known the idol himself, but that incident had been enough of a warning for all of them.

Or the multiple cameras hidden in plush animals and other objects and...

Yeah. He kind of understood why his soulmate was feeling cautious. Jisung could feel the emotion coming strongly from his first mark.

So without protesting he took his phone and sent a text. It didn't even take long until there was a reply.

Y/N

Ah.

Yeah. :) I sent one.

It was supposed to arrive in three days

But I think they were a bit faster, which is a good surprise I guess

Three days... it was going to be his birthday in three days.

Oh...

:O You mean it's a present?

Y/N

Yeah. ^^

It's why I asked Seungmin for your address a while back. ^^”

Sry, I wanted it to be a surprise

It's not much, but I hope you like it.

“It's from her.” And Jisung couldn't keep the smile from his voice. Because... he hadn't really thought that she would do gift him something. Looking at Minho, he could see how his first soulmate gave him a soft glance.

Thank you. :D I'm looking forward to opening it.

I'm sure that I'll like it very much.

Y/N

Meh

Just wait until you unpack it. ;)

Oh, and I need to go back to work.

Talk to you later~

And with that, she was off again. So Jisung put the box on one of their shelves, where it sat until his birthday. Yes, he had taken the actual present out of the carton. It was a small box, wrapped in blue paper that had golden notes on it.

But since it was on a shelf in their living room, he walked past it multiple times a day. Which in turn made him wonder about what was inside.

The rapper had also seen his soulmates glance at it more than once.

Then the day before his birthday arrived. It had become part of their tradition that they would celebrate among them the day before. Because on the actual date, they had the live stream which had to be prepared and... let's just say that most of the time it was much too complicated to arrange all of them meeting on the same date. Also, since both him and Yongbok had theirs so close, they usually celebrated together.

And the day after that? They usual spent time with their families. Like Chris and Yongbok video-called theirs and the rest of them went home for the whole day.

So yeah, on the 13^rd September they all gathered in Jisung and Minho's apartment and ordered from their favourite restaurant. Then, after the others sang for them, they opened the presents. They weren't expensive, most of them just trinkets, gag gifts or stuff they thought the recipient. Like the time Minho had gotten Changbin those pink panties.

This time, their oldest dancer had gotten Yongbok the same cat accessories the staff had gifted him last year during the live stream. And he himself had gotten a headband that was sporting some alien antenna from Seungmin. Honestly, he was just happy that he hadn't gotten anything related to “Noona, do you have a boyfriend”.

All in all, they had a grand time. There was beer and soju and then Chan brought out the karaoke machine and they had sung out their hearts. At one point, with Changbin as the first one to fall asleep on the couch, they started to call it a night. Because Jisung had to wake up early tomorrow for his extended schedule and every one of the members was drowsy at best, bone-tired at most.

And when the others had left and Minho had said that he was going to put the last remaining dishes into the dishwater. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Chris and his habit of starting to clean as soon as one of their get-together's started winding down, they would have probably have to clean up stuff for the next hour or so. Like, there had been streamers and confetti everywhere, so yeah.

Everybody say 'Thank you, Hyung”. And with that he meant mostly himself and Minho. Or... only his love because by now they all knew that Jisung was really shitty regarding keeping a place orderly and stuff.

But that meant that he had time to open the one present left. The one that YN had sent him a few days prior.

And since he didn't want to make a secret out of it, he took it off the shelf and placed it on the table in the living room. “Hyung, I'm going to open the last present.” There was a little bit of cluttering noise coming from their kitchen, before he could hear his soulmate. “There's a present left? I thought you and Yongbok opened them all.” - “Yeah, but I kept Y/N's on the shelf so I could open it when the others are gone.” Because while he didn't have anything against sharing it with Minho? Well, call him selfish, but he didn't want his first present from her be something the guys would be all over in a few seconds.

When the dancer came out of the kitchen and into the living room, the rapper had already unwrapped the paper and by now was holding a small black box in his hands. One, that usually contained jewellery. Like rings, amulets, all those stuff. And it wasn't like he had never gotten gifted jewellery before.

Just... why would Y/N give him some?

And why was Minho looking like someone had farted right in his face? Also, it was accompanied by a feeling that was similar to when his love had gotten a stomach bug. Which was a tad confusing, but maybe the mix of what he had eaten this evening had been a bit too much? Wouldn't be the first time.

But when Jisung asked him what was going on and if he was alright, the other just shook his head. Okay...? Maybe the dancer would tell him at a later point was going on. For now he would trust his soulmate that he would tell him when he wanted to.

So, without waiting for long, Jisung opened the box. And couldn't help but blink, just like Minho next to him did.

Because there, inside of the box were two bracelets. Not a chain, a ring, an earring or a single bracelet. Not, it was two

One was woven with some kind of red thread, with small golden stars and little black beads that for some reason seemed slightly familiar to him.

The other was with a mint coloured thread, but with golden paws and the same little black beads that were on the other one.

And they also looked self-made. Like, not in a bad way or very way, just some small irregularities. Like at some points the knots were a little bit uneven, but... with the way they looked, it seemed like was much care had gotten into both of them.

They were cute. Beautiful. And he couldn't help the warmth that started to flood his systems. Like, this kind of gift was more aligned with what he got from his friends. Not something expensive, just something the other person had put thought and care into it.

Which was when he saw the card stuck on the inside of the lid of the box. Carefully, the idol pulled it out from under there. And on the other side were words, written in Hangul. “Happy Birthday, Jisung. :D I hope you have spent a wonderful day surrounded by friends and love. I want to wish you only the best for the next year, so much luck and love, so I wove all those wishes into those bracelets for you and Minho. ^^ Take care and stay healthy.”

Jisung couldn't help but wonder how long she had worked on those, since the kindergarten teacher had never mentioned that she could knot bracelets. He knew about most of her hobbies, but that was new.

So without hesitation he pulled out both bracelets and held out the mint one to Minho. Because if he had understood the card correctly, those bracelets were for him and the dancer. Who looked visibly puzzled. “Ji... Hannie, are you sure that you want... can give me this one? It's your gift after all. You shouldn't give one of them away without asking.” And why did he sound so hesitant? It was almost as if he was scared that he would step on someone's toes. Like, it was pretty atypical for him.

But still, he wasn't going to ignore the dancers feelings. And if Minho thought that it wasn't appropriate giving him the mint one without asking, then he would ask. So he grabbed his phone, after all he still had to thank Y/N for her gift.

Hey Y/N. (^_^)/

I wanted to thank you for your gift.

They are really beautiful.

And they made me very happy.

And since it was already after midnight at this point, she was quick to respond.

Y/N

:D Ah, right it's already past midnight

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wait...!

[voicemail]

What followed was quite an off-key rendition of 'Happy Birthday' which made both Jisung cackle and Minho shake his head with something to a smile. Now he remembered that the woman had told him that she wasn't very good at singing. Though this sounded like she was trying to come off more over the top than sounding good.

Good, she was more than a little bit ridiculous.

Wow! That was a 5/10

Kudos to the extra effort

Y/N

Meh. :)

Just wanted to congratulate you. ^^

I hope you had the most amazing day.

With loads of cheesecake and sweets and joy...

Yeah... ^^ Just hope you had a great time.

Yeah, I had. ^^

Thank you so very much.

Y/N

You're welcome! :D

But quick question – shouldn't you go to bed? Oo

Like, isn't it really late over there?

And I thought you told me that you had quite the schedule in the morning.

Here he could hear his first soulmate let out a small laugh. “Ah, she sounds just like the others. Like Chan, that motherhen.” Which true but also... “Well, she also sounds very much like you, you know?” Hearing that, the dancer gave a huff and rolled his eyes. “Lies and slander. You know that I'm cold-hearted and I literally care for anyone except my sons.”

Yeah, yeah, of course. Instead of saying anything, Jisung just decided to press a kiss against Minho's cheek. Because on one hand, he found his love just outright adorable when he got like that.

And something about him comparing the both didn't seem right. Like a hidden pitfall he could too easily slip into.

Don't worry, me and Minho will go to bed soon. :)

I just wanted to thank you for your gift before that.

And maaaaaybeeeeeee

Y/N

?

Ask you a question. ^^”

Y/N

Ah!

Okay? Shoot. :)

It's about the second bracelet.

Y/N

You mean the one for Minho? ^^

The rapper couldn't help but let out a sigh at that. And looking at his first soulmate, he could see how the dancer just blinked again. Almost as if he hadn't anticipated that.

Yeah. ^^ I was kind of unsure if it was for him or not.

Y/N

Of course it's for him. :)

I remembered that one of you said at one point that you lost yours from Jeju island

So...

And I don't want to overstep!!!

I ordered some pearls made out of volcanic stone

and some threads and some more pearls

… and I thought that I would weave you one that wouldn't rip so easily. ^^”

So that the both of you could wear one. ^^”

Like I said, I hope I didn't overstep.

You didn't!

:D Like, I think it's a really creative idea. ^^

And very thoughtful.

Y/N

:D Ah! Then I'm so very relieved.

And that was that. They texted for a bit while Minho sat next to him, holding the mint-coloured bracelet in his hands. Also, Jisung couldn't help but note the lost look on the others face. As if he wasn't sure what to make of the piece of jewellery.

So, when he turned around, a question on his face, his love just shook his head. “It's nice of her to include me in your present.” That... wasn't what Jisung had wanted to ask.

But he could recognize when his first soulmate was starting to warm up to an idea. When he became less guarded, so the rapper would take it as it was. A small sliver of hope that both his soulmate's would perhaps become friends in the future.

If they weren't soulmate's too. Jisung knew that Minho was only interested in men, but there were platonic ones out there, weren't they? After all, asexual people existed and...

Right. He would think about that at another time.

And maybe... maybe if things continued to go that smoothly? Then the rapper would soon be able to talk to her about the fact that she wasn't his only soulmate.

Puh.

That wasn't a conversation Jisung was looking forward to. But... he had to do it. He just needed the perfect opportunity.

Chapter Text

Honestly, Y/N was a little bit over the moon. Slightly. Like... a perfectly normal amount. Like, she wasn't floating on cloud 9999. Again. Last time hadn't ended so well, but this time?

Well, how did the proverb go? Good things come in threes? Well, at least for her right now, it seemed to come in twos.

Because Han Jisung had liked her birthday present. Honestly, at first she had been pretty sure that he would. But then the kindergarten teacher had sent it and... yeah, the little voice in her head had started to rear up it's ugly head.

Like how it was cringe. How it wasn't even anything valuable. And how she could have... should have tried a few more times before deciding to go with those two. It wasn't like the kindergarten teacher had sent them her first tries.

Or her tenth. Or...

Let's just say that she had a whole box full of bracelets which were even less good than the ones that she had sent them. Ones that she should probably burn somewhere, because frankly they were hideous. An abomination. Something that was never, ever going to see the light of day.

But hey, at least now Y/N knew how to make bracelets. That was probably going to become useful at some point. After all, she could always teach the eldest kids at work. Or... she could think of something or the other.

Had she, for a quick moment only, considered making herself one as too?

Well, yes. But that present wasn't about herself. She wanted to make her soulmate happy. And since those bracelets connected him to another person in his life that was evidently so very precious to him? Yeah, she wouldn't want to intrude on that.

After all, she and Jisung shared a mark, right? That was enough. One that was emitting happiness, which in turn made her feel giddy. But hey, at least the rapper had had a nice day.

Which was going to be maybe one of his last, more relaxed days for the foreseeable future, now that she thought about it.

Especially with their Comeback. Like Jisung had told her, the week before the comeback alone was stuffed full with photo shoots, pre-recorded interviews, different variety shows and dance practices for mini fanmeets and...

Her head had already started spinning when the rapper had tried to tell her a little bit about his upcoming schedule, apologizing for how he wouldn't have much time to call since he was going to use to try to sleep. As would the other.

Well, if she was honest, with the middle of September being here, her workload also increased. It just, with the summer vacation being over all the children had returned from places like Hawaii, Dubai, Sidney, their grandparents, a farm in the alps... let's just say that some of those kids had seen more places than she probably ever would.

Not that she minded, it was a pretty awesome to hear them talk and show around the photos of stuff they had seen and...

Let's just say that it was very adorable. And even those who stayed at home like she did had many amazing stories to tell. Some played games with their siblings. One got a puppy. And so on. It was really heart warming.

And if the older kids didn't pull her attention, it was the younger ones who had just started kindergarten did need her. Some needed diaper changes, others missed their parents quite terrible, while some of them had a few problems with sticking to the knew rules. And that was not taking the parents into account. So yes.

Y/N could go on for some time, but that would be quite boring to anyone not working in childcare.

Just... it was exhausting and while she had more free time than Jisung or the other boys, she didn't have the energy on some days. So most of the time, the kindergarten teacher sent him a few well wishes over the day, questions about how his days went. A good morning before she went into work. A good night shortly before she went to sleep. It wasn't much.

Also, she tried to watch his livestream, but sadly it wasn't during her break. So she had to do that when the woman came home. Same went for Felix livestream. And she couldn't help but giggle at all the funny toys either of them had received. Like, someone had seen it fit to gift her soulmate a glittering space suit, which yes, he had tried one.

As for texts? Well, his didn't look very different, while both Minho and Seungmin had ceased writing completely. But the rapper assured her that everything was alright, just stressful.

And she could feel the exhaustion coming from her mark, paired with joy and other positive feelings. Sometimes annoyance, but that was to be expected. So Y/N did her best to shield him from her own and send back as much calm and happiness as she could.

The woman wasn't sure if she was doing a good job or not, since all she could do was rely on the internet and a book she had ordered from amazon. But Jisung hadn't said anything, so it was probably alright?

It was just... in these moments the kindergarten teacher wished that she didn't live where she did. Or that she had a job like Vi where she could work from almost every where in the world. And now that was going to sound very trade wife like, but... sometimes she wished that she was there, in that apartment. That she could help both him and Minho. Like, cook for them, get the beds ready, do other stuff that needed to be done.

Ugh, she could already feel her past self shrieking in disgust. And Y/N still didn't want to be a house wife. She wasn't made for that, had realized that in the two weeks were she had done almost nothing during her break.

But working from home as well as helping your soulmate? That sounded pretty good. Then again, she loved her job too much to give it up, so... Plus, Jisung hadn't even said what kind of soulmates he wanted them to be. Like, there were different kinds, she had read up on that.

Platonic, romantic, sexual, familial, some that ticked off more boxes than others, some that were only one.

And yes, Y/N would certainly like to try the romantic kind. Wasn't even that opposed to the sexual much to her surprise, but if the rapper intended a platonic or familial? That was alright as well. Maybe that sounded so, so, so pathetic but the thought of her soulmate wanting her in her life was...

No, she wouldn't grovel. Y/N still had her pride and she wouldn't let anyone walk over her like she had done in the past. It was just...!

Gosh, they really did have to talk about the serious stuff at one point, didn't they? And as much as she enjoyed their ramblings about different anime or games or documentaries, it didn't take away that fact. It was just... if the woman was completely honest, she was a bit scared of such conversations. Because most of the time they didn't end that well.

Meaning yes, she spent her days with a swirling mix of anxiety, elation and exhaustion in her gut.

And then?

The comeback had arrived.

And no, Y/N wasn't going to regret the voice mail she had sent where she had literally shrieked. About how awesome it was. And how great the songs were. And the music video. Just... everything. Okay, there were multiple voicemails about different instances that she had just thought were amazing.

Also, maybe she had sent a text to Minho that she really loved the choreography and all of their hard work. And Seungmin too, how he had done an amazing job and that she adored his parts. So yeah. Plus, both of them had actually replied. The dancer had thanked her while the vocalist had roasted her about foaming from the mouth or something. Which rude, but true.

As for the others, well she asked Jisung to tell them how she thought they all had done such an amazing job. Like, they were totally right about the whole album being an avengers team. Y/N wasn't even able to pick her favourite track. Like, it changed all the time.

So yeah.

Everything was just great.

And except the fact that the woman wasn't able to speak to her soulmate much - or at all, really – everything was well. It wasn't perfect, but things rarely were. So things were good. Everything went as much as she expected they would, which wasn't open.

“Y/N. Hi!”

That was at least until she left work one day and there was Frederick, dressed to the tee.

Standing in the front of the kindergarten. Her work place.

With a gigantic – and no, she wasn't exaggerating – gigantic bouquet of red roses. Like, there must have been roughly fifty flowers in it or something.

And despite the baffling scene - with the families she was working with as well as one of her colleagues that had left at the same time as her around her, looking at her – the only thing that came to her mind was 'But I don't even like roses'.

Because she didn't. They were okay, the woman guessed. But no, not her favourite.

And Frederick knew that. Just like he knew where she worked. Because they were friends. And she kind of had been working at the same place for years and he had came by when they had been in a relationship, so... yes.

Just... the whole thing was surreal.

“Frederick? What are you doing here?” Like, that was the next thing that kind of baffled her. Because again, it didn't make any sense. Especially because the woman really didn't know why he was dressed like that. What the roses were for. Just... it was strange.

Her friend just blushed, starting to stutter. Which in turn made the people around her coo and... it was mortifying. While Y/N was used to have some attention on her, this was way too much. So, she let out a deep sigh when he still didn't seem to know what to say. And while normally she would be a bit more patient? Not... not right now.

More over, he was standing outside of her kindergarten. So no, the woman wasn't going to be patient.

“Frederick. Why are you here?” So maybe she was a bit more snappish with him than she usually was when she repeated that question. And at that, her friend flushed a deep red hue. “I... I just... I wanted to ask you if you wanted to try again.” Hearing that, the people around her gasped which... was kind of funny since they all tried to act like they were leaving or not listening in.

Which... kind of made the words tumbling out of the man's mouth even more baffling. What did he mean about wanting to try again? Like, try what? Baking a cake? Playing mini-golf? Going on a hike? They had done a lot of things over the year that in the end hadn't panned out directly.

And with the roses, it – look, she wasn't dense. But the scene in front of her just didn't compute. Didn't make any sense.

But while Y/N just stood there, gaping like a fish stranded on water, her ex just continued. “Because we had such a great time at the amusement park.” Uh huh. Yeah. They had. The woman wasn't going to deny that. “And we've written over the last few weeks and those were incredible nice.” Yes, because she had written with all of her friends, online and offline. It wasn't something new, like if they hadn't done anything to her she wasn't going to be mean to any of them.

Here, Frederick started to fidget, as if it was making him nervous that he had to explain everything. “And it just felt like the old spark was back, you know?” No, she certainly didn't. Because she didn't make a habit of reheating old relationship. Whether it was a friendship, friends-with-benefits or a romantic relationship. “So I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be my girlfriend again?”

No. Definitely no.

Because when it was over? It was over.

The End.

The only exception was that a romantic relationship or a friends-with-benefits could turn into regular friendship if the other person wanted to as well. But nothing more.

And she had thought that she had made it very clear when she had broken up with him.

But here she stood, her ex going down on one knee in front of her and holding out those damn roses like he was doing some grand romantic gesture. And every one was either clapping or beaming at her. It felt nauseating to a point. As if Frederick had just cornered her and was holding her at gunpoint.

So, trying to shake that uncomfortable feeling from her bones, Y/N took a deep breathe. Because what was coming wasn't going to be easy.

Looking her ex deep in he eyes, willing her hands to not shake, she said load and clearly “No.”. And the kindergarten teacher could see how Fredericks smile feel in an instant, before he forced it back on his face. Only this time, it was much more shaky. “But Y/N, don't you see? We both have grown so much over the years and we could make it work this time!!”

Yeah. No. Still no.

Also, suddenly the whispers around her stopped and the parents were suddenly ushering their children into the cars or on their bikes or... they were just leaving fast.

The kindergarten teacher just shook her head. Because while she had grown up over the least six, right now it didn't feel like he had.

Since this was exactly what he had done when they had been together. Nothing of this scale, but small things. About how if she really loved him she would do this or that for or with him. Or when they had argued he would make those grade gestures of romance. Or he would gift her things when...

Long story short, let's just say that they both hadn't been good for each other. Y/N had let him walk over her way too much and... she hadn't made her boundaries clear from day one. And that wasn't a mistake she was going to repeat.

Also... she had Jisung. And while she had no illusions that there would be hardships in that relationship as well? So, to do something so phenomenally stupid as getting back together with her ex? Nah. Still, just no.

So she crossed her arms, trying to keep the nausea at bay. “Frederick, do you really want to list me all the points on why we broke up back then?” When he remained silent, the woman let out a light exhale. Yeah, she hadn't thought that he would have wanted for her to air out that particular dirty laundry. So she just continued. “And if you can't respect that you're not getting anything more than friendship from me, than we're going to go our separate ways from now on.”

And kudos to her, she kept her voice very even, not letting any of the anger and mortification slip into her voice. God, this was humiliating. Soon, every one affiliated with her work would know what happened and the whole situation would probably follow her around for the next years. Because while there would be new scandals, the old ones always did get warmed up every once in a while.

While Y/N had gotten lost in her thoughts, her ex had started stammering. How she couldn't mean what she had said and that they had made a great team and ended the rant with a whined “Princess, please...! Don't let your fear of commitment break both of our hearts.”

Okay, first of all – Y/N had always hated that nickname. Made her feel spoiled and rotten, especially since Frederick had used it in past arguments where he had accused her of just being that.

Second – bold of him to assume that her heart was involved in any of this.

Lastly and third – she didn't have a fear of commitment. She had one of empty or broken promises. That was a whole different shtick.

So the woman couldn't help but groan. “Frederick. I don't know if I should start singing Taylor Swift's 'We are never ever going to get back together' for you to understand.” And somehow that seemed to hit close to home, since except being red in the face, he started to pale. But Y/N was on a roll right now. “Or if 'Toxic' would be the better option. And I won't start begging you to stop this foolishness or even question what possessed you to make you think that this was a great idea.”

Here, he the man gave her a defeated a look, almost as if he wanted to bring his last argument to convince her. “But Y/N. Don't you remember what a good team we made? We could have that again, make each other happy!”

At that, she really started to rub her temples. “Frederick, I don't need you to make me happy!” - “Ah, so you have a partner and just kept him from all of us!” Oh fucking shit! Of course that was what he got from that! Also, there was literally no reason for him to sound that jealous, since it wasn't his business at all.

And she could argue the fact. Maybe should, since he probably would go to Phi and Gina to cry about what a bitch she had been just now. Whatever.

Was it sad that the guy really hadn't changed at all over the years?

Exhausted and annoyed, the kindergarten teacher took a deep breath. Felt like that was all she could do to keep a level head. “You know what, I'm not going to make a comment on that. Think what you will, I literally don't care.” Here, she turned around, walking towards her car. “Text me when you want to be friends again and talk about this normally.” - “But-!” - “Go home!” And yes, maybe the last snap hadn't been necessary, but... at this point it felt like nothing would get trough to the guy.

Anger accompanying her steps, Y/N walked over to her car pulled open the door and sat down. It was at that point that the feelings inside her started to bubble up. Hot enough that she wanted to scream. But she was still in the parking space of her work place and if she didn't want something, it was that someone would witness the following outburst.

So to at least get out a bit of the frustration, Y/N grabbed her phone and shot a text message to her Stays. After all, that had been the last chat since before running into her ex she had shot them a text about something that had happened during work. Great, she wasn't even able to recall what.

But a quick 'I HATE men!!' was sufficient to portray that she needed someone to talk. Soon.

Before she did something stupid like run Frederick over with her car. Like really! A normal person would have at least asked her out again at a restaurant or at movie night or ANYWHERE else than her workplace!!

The man knew that she hated being put on the spot like that! That she almost always caved under public pressure! This... it was just so highly manipulative if he had relied on using the circumstances to make the whole things easier for him.

She hoped he hadn't. Because if he had?

Then Y/N would probably have to remove him from her small circle of friends. Like honestly, she had trusted him enough that he would leave the manipulation tactics behind when they had agreed to be friends.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... this was a headache she hadn't needed. Along with the spike of panic from her mark. Just... hopefully nothing had happened to Jisung or she would literally flip her shit today.

Just when she drove up into the drive way of her apartment, her phone began to ring. Which probably meant that either Vi or Lou or Kate or Yuri or one of her others Stays was calling her. Which was a bit unusual, but she wasn't above a little bit of companionship. Relieved, she pick up the call without looking at the callers ID.

What she didn't expect was the whine “What did I do?!?!?!” before she could even grumble out a greeting. Like huh? What the hell? That couldn't be...

But yes, a glance to her screen showed her that it was Jisung who had called her. Which just presented the question of why? And what was with that greeting? The woman was just a little bit confused.

She couldn't even get a word in except “Jisung, what-?” before he started ranting. “Like, I know that I've been terribly busy-” - “Jisung...” - “and that I didn't have much time recently,-” - “Jisung.” - “but I really planned to call you soon-” - “Jisung! Breathe!” Like honestly, the woman knew that he was one of the fastest rapper on the world, but... if he went on like that she feared that he would choke on air or his own spit.

There was also a grumble in the background. Some slurred Korean words Y/N had no idea or even chance of understanding. Maybe that was Minho. It could be that they had fallen asleep in the couch which was why the dancer sounded like he had just got woken up.

Well, luckily it hadn't been Hyunjin who had awoken him like that. Or else he would have gotten the air fryer. Huh, maybe Felix was safe as well.

But after the last 'Jisung', the rapper at least fell silent. Although the woman could almost feel him vibrate through the phone. “Jisung, you didn't do anything wrong. Why would you think that?” There was a short silence and then... “Because you texted me 'I hate men' in German?”

Huh?

Now that didn't sound right. She had texted her Stays, not her soulmate. But if he had gotten it then... oh... oh no... this was bad.

So the woman let out a loud groan. Of course this had happened to her. If there was a way to make a fool out of herself, she was sure to find it. This was just another instance were she had proved that fact. Which made her start to whine as well.

Just no... no. Why her? This was just...

Which resulted in even more grumbling coming from the phone that was decidedly not Jisung. And while Y/N just rued that she had woken up this very day, there were a few whispers until... “Sorry, I had to leave or Minho would have waken up completely. And he's so terribly grouchy when he gets way too little sleep.” Well, she could very well understand that sentiment.

The woman let out a sight at that. “Yeah, I understand that. Is he alright?” There was a slight pause, then a light exhale. “Yes. He's just tired. We all are, honestly.” And the man really sounded like that. And he had written on bubble a few days back that he was so incredibly tired as he had only slept for three hours.

And apparently – somehow - her text had alarmed him enough to call her despite his exhaustion. That didn't make her feel better in any way. Like at all.

“I'm so, so sorry. I really hope you can catch a breath soon.” Hearing that, the other let out a quiet chuckle. “Eh, maybe for a week. Because then the end of the year will be approaching and we'll have to prepare for that.” Ah, yeah. All those special stages and everything.

Even more guilt started to churn in her stomach while listening to that. “I'm so sorry...” Yes, that was even more of a whisper, but she really didn't know what else to say. But instead of saying anything, the idol just chuckled. “Don't worry, it's nothing we can't handle. We'll just sleep when we're on a break.”

Now, that didn't sound very healthy. But Y/N had to trust the man that he knew what he was doing. Also, it really wasn't her place.

“But what did you mean with that comment?” Ah. Of course Jisung wouldn't just let that matter drop. And honestly, the kindergarten teacher probably owed him an explanation. After all, while she hadn't meant to send him the text, Y/N couldn't just not explain it. Also, there was still that nervous under tone. As if he was kind of dreading her answer.

So, letting out a puff of air, she leaned back against the head rest of her car. “My ex-boyfriend showed up outside my work at my work and stressed me really out.” - “Do you mean Frederick? I thought that you two were good friends.” And his words kind of brought a huge smile to her face. Because it showed that he had listened to her and while her friends would say that it was the bare minimum, it just made her happy.

“Yeah. And let me tell you I've rarely been more humiliated in my life.” Like, there were just a few instances that came close to what Frederick had pulled not even an hour ago. Most of the time it had been thanks to Marek. Some had been... yeah, it wasn't the first time she herself or someone else had made a fool out of the woman.

There was a short silence and then a bit of rustling. “O...kay? What did he do?” - “Asked me if we wanted to get back together again.” The silent this time was much, much more poignant. Then there were some muffled Korean words, like she thought she heard “Wait a minute” and something that sounded decidedly like a curse word. Maybe “Shit” or something.

Though it was more likely that she had misheard. Because other than being her soulmate, the man had no reason to react to that statement.

“So, what did you say?” And why did his voice sound a little strained? Weird. She was probably imagining it. Or it must seem that way due to the connection. After all, she was outside her apartment, so her internet connection was a bit sketchy.

And she could leave the car, but she didn't want to risk running into her neighbors. Y/N found she had had enough social excitement for one day. As well as for the rest of the week.

The woman grumbled a bit. “Well, I turned him down, obviously.” There was a small crack in the audio, which made her pause a little. “By the time we broke up we both weren't good for each other. And I care too much about my mental health for a repeat performance.”

This time, she could hear the sigh. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” Again, Jisung's voice sounded strained. And by now, there was this strange emotion coming from her mark that she couldn't really name. Just... like the kindergarten teacher had said, it was strange.

“Well, there's not much to tell.” Because in the end, it wasn't. Just Frederick acting just like when they had been in that relationship the man had wanted to warm up again. “He showed up outside my workplace, huge bouquet of roses in his hand and asked me if I wanted to try again. Since we're so much more grown and all that stuff.”

Another short pause and then... “But... you don't even like roses.” Thank you! And while that sentence alone made her smile, what followed next made her want to giggle like a school girl. “Didn't you mention that one of your favourite flowers are the cosmos flowers?” Hearing that, she couldn't keep the joy out from her voice. “Yeah. I mean, I like multiple, like jasmine smells terrific and chrysanthemums are just so very beautiful and vibrant. But...” And here came the real reason. “blue cosmos flowers remind me of the sky. So I like them.”

And there was that. No further reason. She just like the sky. And the colour blue. Which hadn't changed since she had first gone to school.

But Jisung mentioning those... it meant that he had listened. Like, she probably had mentioned them once or twice? Because she wasn't that big on flowers and all. After all, they knew each other for what? Maybe two months. And... he knew.

Frederick hadn't. And Y/N wasn't even sure if Phi knew. She would have to ask her oldest friend.

“Well, you told me. Also, those are hyungs birth flowers, so it was pretty easy to remember.” Right... cosmos flowers had been mentioned in the lyrics of 'Want so bad'! How could she forget? So Y/N just gave a small chuckle. “Yeah. I kind of forgot for a moment. I'm sorry...” - “There's nothing to be sorry about. And I probably should go to sleep but...” And while it was a bit sad to hear that, glancing at the clock showed that it was past midnight in Seoul. Her soulmate should really hit the hay, especially since he had to wake up early next morning.

“Can I ask you one question before I go?” Huh? That was a strange question. Because of course he could. And if she didn't want to answer, she was confident enough to tell him so. At least that what Y/N told herself. It was much more likely that she would blurt the answer out despite of that. Still... “Of course you can.”

Another short silence before the idol decided to speak up. “Why did you break things off? We never really talked about that your past relationships before, so...” And why did he sound so hesitant? It wasn't like she had made a secret out of them. They had just never come up. “Well, he started to pressure me into things I didn't want to do.” Which was a very neutral way of putting things. “Frederick always expected me to know things, and when I didn't, he blamed me for not being his soulmate and good enough for him. And when we would argue, he apologized and promised to never pressure me like that again, only to break his promises a few days later.” Still, a very roundabout way of telling things. Just... maybe in the future she would go into more detail. Right now?

It hit a bit too close to home.

Meanwhile Jisung made a sound that seemed like something had clicked in his mind. “So is he the reason why you said that you hate broken promises?” Ah. Another topic that Y/N really didn't want to talk about while sitting in her parking lot. Because if she got honest about, the kindergarten teacher would probably cry. Or become slightly depressed, so no. Like the woman had said, she refused to become another public spectacle today.

Which is why instead of answering clearly, she gave a hum. “Let's just say he added to that particular character trait of mine.” At the disappoint “oh”, Y/N just shook her head, well aware that the man couldn't see it. “I'm sorry Jisung, I'll tell you another time. Just... I'm not in the best head space right now.”

Hearing that, the idol started to sputter that he hadn't intended to pressure her, which... was sweet, she guessed. Which in turn made her laugh lightly. Honestly, she hadn't thought that talking to him would made her feel a bit lighter.

“That's okay. Just take your time and you can tell me when your comfortable.” And while he sounded relieved, there was still a small inkling of that strange emotion coming through the mark. “Also... I know that it isn't in my right, but please don't get together with someone who made you cry in the past. Nobody is worth your tears.”

Agh! That... that was cringe! And overkill! And so sickly lovely that if she hadn't felt the earnestness coming from the mark she would have winced. Hard.

But with that she just let out a high squeal when Jisung groaned on the other side. “I'm sorry. I'm clearly way too tired to be allowed to talk to anybody.” Which again made her laugh, though her cheeks still felt like they were on fire. “Yeah, yeah, I get it Casanova. Go to sleep before you get even more sappy.” There was a slight pause. Before she could hear him agree.

Their conversation only lasted a few more minutes, before they cut the call. And Y/N thought she heard the idol mumbling about “Who the hell is Casanova” or the other. The woman couldn't be sure.

Letting out a deep breath, she finally shot her Stay friends a text. Only this time it wasn't 'I hate men' but 'Anybody want come by and help me hide a body?'. And Vi was the first to reply with 'Soulmate or Ex' which was quickly followed up by a short explanation of the stunt Frederick had just pulled. And yeah, she had allowed her friend to tell the others that she had found her soulmate and they were currently trying to be friends.

Had she said that she had the best friends? Because even though, Kate, Yuri and Lou had literally no idea just what was going on, they didn't ask many questions and just accepted that something had happened. And apparently were little surprised that the soulmate they had just learned existed was a piece of work.

Alright, she should set that record right as soon as possible. Plus, Y/N didn't know if she should feel insulted that they really believed her luck with partners was that abysmal.

While her online friends verbally ripped Frederick apart in the chat, she finally exited her car and went up to her apartment.

Here, she put away her stuff, fed her cats and then, it was already time for her weekly Korean lessons. If she had missed those because of her ex, she would have been seriously pissed. Like, she needed them for progress! Also, they were really expensive and... Y/N just needed to get better as soon as possible! That was majorly important.

Only when those were finished, did she look at her phone again.

Now, the way that the Stay chat had exploded wasn't much of a surprise. But Phi's message spelling out “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” was. Because... she had been away from her phone for like three hours. And while she had a faint idea why and where it had come from and what her best friend meant... the wording kind of tripper her up a bit. Like... what the hell?

Chapter Text

Something was weird.

And Jisung wasn't really sure why. Because after the call with Y/N the night before, something strange had settled in his gut. Like, the idol couldn't really put his finger on it.

But he had woken up and when he recalled the call, he kind of felt a bit irritated. Not by much, just... the thought about that Ex-boyfriend of hers waiting outside of her work left a sour aftertaste in his mouth. Even more so, since apparently the man had seemingly embarrassed her quite a bit. Jisung could still remember the hot flashes from his second mark that had left him uncomfortable as well. Which in turn had led to Minho wondering what was going on.

At least he had an explanation for that. Now he just had to figure out what was bothering him so much about Y/N getting asked out by her ex. Like, it was her choice. Even though Jisung was her soulmate, he didn't have a say in her love life.

After all, there were people who had relationships outside of their soulmate's.

So sue him for sitting on the couch in their studio and maybe, probably, eventually pouting. A little bit.

Also, for some reason his productivity was down the drain that day. Like, nothing would flow and he was staring at like two lines of lyrics while Changbin and Chris sat in front of the laptop, talking about the bridges.

Was he glad that today they had a small break from all the comeback stages and everything else? Hell yeah. Even though they all didn't have much free time, it was a step back to their usual routine that, while stressful, didn't feel like they had to wear their idol personas 24/7. Now while theirs were very close to their true self's, it was still exhausting.

Just yesterday it had felt like his soul had got sucked out of his body with how exhausted he had been. Not that any of his members were any body. Minho had collapsed on their bed, while both Chris and Jeongin had still been asleep when he and his first soulmate had been dropped off by Mr. Kang. Well, Changbin had also carried Hyunjin up to their own apartment, since the dancer had been so groggy that he couldn't even walk in a straight line.

He still wasn't sure how Seungmin and Yongbok had managed, but it was possible that they had just crashed into their beds like him and Minho had.

So, it had been a bit surprising how that text from Y/N, paired with the flashes, had unsettled him enough that he had felt instantly more awake. His love had been so out off it that he couldn't even remember Jisung talking on the phone. Or the dancer would have brought. Right, he still needed to talk to Minho about the call. Maybe his love would have an explanation for why he was feeling so weird right now.

Oh and maybe he should check in on Y/N except the usual good morning and stuff. Since the emotions that were coming from his second mark were a bit all over the place.

Great.

Now he had gotten lost in thought again. So Jisung just let out a huff, sitting up. “I'm going to go on a quick snack run.” At least that made the both of them snap out of it for a short while, with both of them rattling down their orders, which weren't hard to remember. Most of the time it was similar things so...

So he grabbed his backpack, his headphones, mask and pulled his hoodie over his head and went out. And if he took a slightly longer route just to clear his head a bit, well... Jisung felt like he needed that. And it did help a bit.

While he couldn't identify the sticky feeling in his chest, it made breathing a little bit easier.

And if he snacked on one box of Pepero? Well that raised his mood a bit as well. He also shot a quick message to Y/N.

Hey, just wanted to check in.

Is... everything alright over there?

Do you want to like talk?

If not, I can always send you a funny meme or something?

Just... the emotions coming from your mark are all over the place...

Okay, maybe it had been a couple of texts. But, Jisung could feel that something was going on, most likely related to the incident with her ex yesterday. And it didn't feel like she was terrified or anything. It was a weird mix of anger, defeat and stress coming from it.

Now while she had confided in him yesterday, the rapper didn't know if she wanted to again and... it made him want to scream a bit. Especially since unlike with Minho he couldn't just take the train or a taxi so he could visit and...

On some days he would really love to have his own manual on how adult life and some stuff was supposed to work. Like a cheat sheet or something.

He also shot a quick text to Minho, seeing as how his love wasn't at the company today. The dancer, along with Jeongin and Felix had a reality show appearance today, while Hyunjin was at the dance studio filming some content and Seungmin was going to his vocal lessons. Or maybe he had confused ant the singer was filming another episode of 'Song by'.

Hey love.

Hope you're having fun. :*

Please don't fight the hosts. <3

Love

No guarantees.

I'll tell Felix you said that~

Love

Bah!

Don't involve my sweet summer child in this.

<3<3

Was he happy that Minho had been able to write back immediately? Yes. And was Jisung even happier with the banter that had followed? Yes, very much so. It lifted his spirits every time.

Which reminded him that he still had to talk to Minho about the phone call they had had. And that in turn made the icky emotion in his gut swirl again. Huh... maybe talking to his first soulmate would make things a bit clearer. Because his lover had the ability to sort through his mind in a way that few people could.

So Jisung did. When he was finished after their recording session, he went and got them some take-out. Because after all this time he was still a hazard in the kitchen and Minho would be way too tired to cook. But yeah. Regarding that, he had really lucked out in the soulmate department.

Then again, that made him wonder if Y/N knew how to cook as well or if she was just as hopeless in the kitchen as the rapper was. Also, she hadn't replied yet which was a bit odd, but it wasn't something the rapper would pressure her on. His second soulmate would talk to him if she wanted to. And once more, he wished that they lived closer so Jisung could have come over with a her favourite drink or snack.

At least he had a credit card, so he could buy stuff like that as well as take out. That had to amount to something, at least in Jisung's opinion. Because no matter who he was with, they at least would never go hungry or thirsty. So yes.

Minho seemed to be very glad about the fact that a warm meal was prepared for him. And since the rapper had waited for him to come home, they spread all the food on their couch table, huddled together under a blanket and put on some anime from Crunchy Roll. They had watched One Piece before the comeback, but now? While Crunchy Roll had remembered the last episode they had watched, none of them had the faintest clue about what had happened in the last arc.

Maybe they should have picked a less extensive anime, but... oh well. It hade been fun.

So, the both of them decided to watch another series. Something shorter, which was why they settled on “Frieren – After the Journey”. The second season hadn't aired yet and there weren't too many episodes in the first one, so that gave them some time before it aired.

And maybe with all of the cosiness, Jisung kind of waited to tell Minho about the phone call. It was just such homely mood and... alright, sometimes he was a coward. He just wanted to enjoy the atmosphere a bit longer. Especially since Minho was slightly scratching his head, just like he would do with his cats. And it was the most soothing thing ever. Like Jisung completely understood why it made them all purr the way they did.as during the end of the third episode, after they had stuffed themselves to the brim with food, that his phone vibrated. And once more. From the way his mark tingled with a swirl of emotions, he knew that those texts were from Y/N.

By the fourth text, Minho let out a little sigh and stopped the episode right in that moment. “Just text her back. I know you want to know what she's writing to you about.” Now while his voice was pretty level, Jisung couldn't help but feel slightly guilty about it. Only a tiny bit, but still.

Still, he took out his phone and held it in a way in which allowed Minho to look at them as well.

Y/N

Hey...

I'm so sorry that I have troubled you this day

Just... today was wild. :/

That doesn't sound like a good thing. Oo

Y/N

It's... just the stuff with Frederick made work so much more complicated.

Really? :O How so?

Reading that, Minho furrowed his brow. “Frederick situation?” And it made Jisung flinch a bit. “Do you recall me getting out of bed yesterday night?” Hearing that, the dancer made a quite hum. “I remember you moving. And I think you said something?”

Well, now that made him feel even guiltier about the whole situation. But it made telling his love about what happened easier, since he already had some context clues. So, while Y/N's texts kept trickling in, the rapper told his first soulmate about what had happened before.

And yes, he was still replying. He wasn't Changbin, so he was somewhat decent at multitasking.

Y/N

Well, a lot of parents witnessed that debacle. -_-

So my boss called me to the office.

And I got this really long lecture on how my private life was not

to interfere with my workplace again.

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

But that wasn't you fault!

Y/N

I know, you know, Lee know

Hehehe

Btw, Minho's next to me.

Alright, that had made him snort. And Minho had cackled as well. Like, neither of them had thought she would make a joke in that situation.

But lightly before this point Jisung was finished with telling what happened. It had made the others brow furrow. “Huh. Well that sounds like somebody should be minced and cooked.” It made Jisung exhale in relief. There was nothing coming from his first mark and his words indicated that he wasn't hurt or angry hearing about.

Maybe a little miffed about what that Frederick guy had pulled. But then again, many people would be.

And shortly after that, she had made both of them laugh like that.

Y/N

Hell, even my boss knows that!

But she still had to.

Ah! :D Hi Lee Know!

Now if my coworkers would stop gossiping about why I would

reject such a fine man.

I... hope that's sarcastic.

Y/N

Sadly, no. ò.ó

Because excuse my French, one of them who had seen the start

is kind of a hoe. -_-

Like, she saw the roses and thought njom njom njom.

Oooh!

Of course! The njom njom effect.

Again, that made both of them snort. Because it was slightly unhinged and he wasn't used to reading stuff like this from any one out of his group. Like, he knew Minho's friends, Chris' and Yongbok's could be like that.

So he wasn't surprised by what his love said next. “Tell her that the njom njom effect is essential in making a decision about someone. It really sells the point.”

Minho says that that's very logical.

Really profound.

She should base her whole life on that.

Y/N

That Lady's life is more of a mess than a your old

dorm room.

Which made Minho cackle again. And true, but rude! It wasn't like he was lazy, Jisung just had better things to do than organize things and put stuff away and such! So the rapper just grumbled while laying his head back on his love's shoulder.

YAH!

Y/N

Don't @ me!

I've seen recordings of your old dorm!

And the other members confirmed it often enough. :P

:/

Yeah yeah yeah.

Y/N

;*

Anyway... so yeah, I got lectured by my boss

my coworkers are either pitying me

or thirsting over my ex.

Which I mean – good riddance? If you're desperate

I guess?

And don't get me started on the parents.

-sigh-

Can somebody please take me out?

Like with a sniper rifle, not on a date?

Again, it came with such a dry deliverance, that both of them snorted. Like... that woman in an annoyed mood was a riot. And Jisung would love to see her going up against Seungmin while feeling like this. It would be pretty savage. Or maybe her and Minho squabbling over nonsense would also be quite amusing.

Oh, he hoped that she would come to Seoul soon. They would probably have such a great time.

Y/N

Also my oldest friend wants to talk

and is mad at me.

Because apparently I was way too harsh while handling Frederick.

-_-

Because “He's SeSiNsItIvE!”

Bah!

Uh oh.

But... why is that her business?

Y/N

Beats me!

Like, I know we're all in the same friend circle.

But come on! -_-

Since when is my private business literally EVERY ONE'S

business as well?!

Jisung couldn't help but wince at that, while Minho remained stone-faced. Because that sentiment was exactly why they were hiding the most personal stuff from the media. Because they didn't want some things to get public.

Like that they were each others soulmate's. That Minho was gay. That Jisung wasn't that close with his family as he had let all of their fans believe. That he would never show his complete tattoos, as he had already seen the way some people decided to copy it.

And while Chris as well as Yongbok had sued some of the people that had it out for them?

Fuck, they were a lot more. And disregarding the haters on the internet, there were enough sasaengs and stalkers to make their life's more complicated. They were the reason why all of them had apartments in the upper levels of their respective apartment buildings. Also, those weren't even in their name. Instead, they had been in the names of Mr. Kim, Mr. Kang and another manager that worked with them. That way it was harder for them to find out where they lived.

Now, him and Minho had planned to buy their own house after their military service. Get someone vetted by the company to look after it and their future pets. They hadn't talked about children – the thought too far away at the moment, especially with the tours and the comebacks and... - but Jisung wasn't completely opposed to it.

The rapper just hadn't considered it yet. So, it would most likely depend on his partner. Partners. Huh.

Now that was a wild thought. Where had that come from?

But before Jisung could further contemplate it, there was a new message that had popped open in What'sapp. Something about a group chat called “Area 51”?

Love

your friend idiot

Y/N

LeeKnow! Hi!

I am so sorry to disturb you, but GAH!

I'm am THIS close to throttling someone!

I just needed to get this of my chest

before I EXPLODE!!

Love

mm. threat airfryer

works here.

Reading this, Jisung couldn't help but glance over at his first soulmate. And while his fingers were flying over the screen, Minho looked... content. Peaceful.

As if it wasn't some BIG THING that they had their own group chat. It made him want to vibrate out of his seat and the rapper couldn't help the squeal that escaped his throat. Which in turn made the dancer pat his head. “Don't make it weird, Hannie.”

Now, while that was wild coming from Minho out of all people, Jisung just beamed at him. “Too late. Already weird about it.” Which in turn earned him a soft look and a flick against his nose.

Hyung is right though

Shouldn't your friend be on your side? Oo

Because I personally wouldn't like being cornered

like that

Love

would hate.

Y/N

She wouldn't either!

But like I said

“FrEdErIcK iS sEnSiTiVe” according to her

Shit... Again, I'm sorry that I'm unloading that on

you two.

You surely have better things to do than listen to

me rambling on about my stupid ex-partners and

how they treat me. TT_TT

Sorry...

Partner's? As in multiple? Had there been another old boyfriend bothering her? Jisung wasn't sure why that thought made his stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. And from the look Minho had shot him, he had felt it as well.

Love

your man taste bad or what?

“Baby?” Like, that had come a bit out of the blue. As had the sharp sting from his first mark. And there was a small flash of guilt flashing over his love's face. “Ah. Shouldn't have written that...” Well, that was weird. As was the strange feeling.

It felt a bit like the one that had been churning in his stomach time and time again. The one that he couldn't put his finger on. So... maybe Minho knew what it was. If he experienced it as well. “Do you want to tell me what that feeling was?” And he was careful that he said that all soft, in the most non-accusing way possible. But his soulmate just shook his head. “No. I'll handle it, don't worry.”

Okay. Now those words made him indeed worry.

Though when Jisung wanted to ask again, his love once more shook his head. “Really, Hannie, it's fine. You don't have to concern yourself with it.” Which okay... if the other was truly sure?

Y/N

Hey!

I'll have you known that my taste is very varied!

And... alright...

Maybe some of my exes have been... problematic...

Oh shit.

I'm sorry to hear that...

Y/N

But my last one was the least toxic!

I swear I'm learning!

Love

and now Han you soulmate

poor woman

Now that made Jisung bite the other lightly in his earlobe. Like! That was cheeky! Which in turn made Minho make a sound that was somewhere between a giggle and a moan. Honestly! Normally the rapper was the brat out of the two of them!

Not the other way around!

Y/N

Hey!

You already know that Han is the best soulmate

there could ever be!

After all aren't you two as well?

Reading that, Jisung could feel his heart stop beating for a short moment. He could hear Minho suck in his breath and then a scared whisper. “You told her?” No, he hadn't. Which was why the rapper shook his head. Because there was so much fear in his love's voice.

And Jisung could imagine where it came from, even if he thought that they didn't have anything to fear from Y/N. And it was fear, maybe even terror, that was getting emitted from his first mark like a... alright, he didn't have a good comparison.

But for them, one of their greatest nightmares had always been someone finding out about their status as soulmate's. Back when they had never thought that either of them could have a second one.

Them getting found out would spell doom not just for them, but for their whole group. Same Sex Soulmate's or couples or marriages were still not as accepted as all of them would like. And with their idol-status?

They would get ripped to shreds by Dispatch and the whole Internet...

Also he could hear his soulmate's rapid heartbeat as Jisung typed his follow up text. Because they had to know how she found out. If there was a crack or a flaw in their act. In their personas or if it was solely because the woman knew them privately now.

Huh?

What do you mean?

Y/N

Uuuuuuuuuhm...?

The whole Minsungspiel?

Like... you've been calling each other soulmate's

since like shortly after debut? Oo

Or don't you do that in private?

Love

hehehehehehehe

Y/N

Did I overstep? O.O

Her response made the both of them exhale in relief. Sag against each other and the couch. And that again, felt wrong too.

Because it wasn't fair that Jisung kept it from her. Like, she had a right to know that she – in a sense – was and would always be sharing him, since Minho would never, ever go anywhere. And the only way that Y/N would get out of that was if she decided to sever the connection.

The rapper just... couldn't do that. After talking with Felix and knowing what it had done to her? There was no way. Jisung couldn't do that again.

Oh no no no!

It's just...

We have to be careful with that matter.

So every time it comes out of the blue?

Me and hyung get defensive.

Y/N

Ah! ó.ò

I understand...

I'm sorry that I startled the both of you like that.

Love

no worry

After that, Jisung turned the topic towards the anime they were currently watching. Which Y/N seemingly knew too. So they texted about that for a bit, before Minho wrote that they would have to go to bed now since they had an early day tomorrow.

Which wasn't a lie. They hadn't told a single lie in that group chat.

So why did he still feel so rotten?

After he had bid her good night – the woman had thanked them for lending them an ear and for letting her vent – the rapper closed his eyes. Mentally getting ready for what he needed to say.

“Baby? You know that I have to tell her at one point.” After uttering that, Jisung could hear the others breath hitch. And his heartbeat skip a beat since he was leaning against his soulmate's chest.

It made feel the rapper even more torn about the whole thing. Like, he had never anticipated it for Minho to be easy. But he also didn't know how to make it easier. “I want to be friends with her and get to know her better, hyung. Like... she's really nice, has a vicious sense of humour and... I can't keep it from her forever.” Another skipped heartbeat and a deep feeling of resignation that seemed to pour out of the first mark.

It wasn't heartbreak. But it was something that was lightly familiar to it.

“I know Hannie.” It was so soft, that Jisung almost hadn't heard it. It sounded tired, as if the dancer had already seen it coming. “You know I've been texting with her as well. And for a woman, she's alright I guess. Like you said, funny. Loves her cats and no bad person could ever be this nice to them. Just... can you please give me a bit more time? Before you tell her?”

It was in that moment, that it hit Jisung. That this was the first time they had talked about that particular topic with each other. About him telling her.

And he hated how insecure it made feel Minho. And that he couldn't do anything against it.

So yes, the dancers soft and earnest words struck a chord inside of him. Which was why he cuddled into the others side. “Of course. Take the time you need. I'll always wait for you.” And when the dancer just gave a slight hum, the rapper added a small. “I love you, hyung.”

The following “I love you, too.” settled his mind and heart a bit as well. Because that was something that would never change. And together, they could get through everything.

Plus – who knew? Maybe getting a third would add something that they hadn't even known that they would need.

The next two days were back to their stressful comeback routine. Interviews, appearances on shows, while also working out. Again, it was very exhausting and when Jisung stumbled into the apartment that day, all he could do was a very long shower, pull on a shirt and grab some leftovers from the fridge.

It was late in the evening and Minho was going to come home in a few hours since he wanted to meet up with Yongbok and Hyunjin for danceracha stuff. Maybe they were coming up with a new dance for one of their next songs. His love had texted him that it could go well past midnight so he shouldn't wait up.

So here he was sitting when his phone started to vibrate. While munching on his bite, he pulled it out and frowned at the screen.

Y/N

Hey, I know that you had a long day...

But could I ask you something...?

Okay... why did he get the feeling that something had happened? Like... they had texted back and forth when they had time. And while she hadn't been in high spirits, things had been okay. And there had been nothing from her mark, so maybe she had either learnt to block them or there was nothing much. It made him curious about what the kindergarten teacher wanted to ask.

Yeah. ^_^ Shoot.

Y/N

Could we video call?

I would really need a friendly face right now. :/

Like, to talk to.

And Vi is still at work.

And the others don't know too much.

And I don't really want to know what Gina thinks

Yeah, of course. :)

Just fair warning. ^^”

I'm pretty beat, so...

Y/N

O_O Oh shit.

We don't have to if you're tired!

Nah, it's okay. ^^

I just told you so you wouldn't be surprised if I

fell asleep at one point. ^^”

Y/N

If you sure? o.o

And I wouldn't have judged you if you did!

You know that I sometimes take naps after work.

And my job is less exhausting than yours. ^^”

Pssht!

There isn't a single not exhausting job out there!

So be nice to yourself. ^-^

Y/N

Yeah, yeah. ^^

So... it's okay I'll call you?

Yup. ^^

Just hit that call button.

Now, since she had said that she wanted to talk face to face, Jisung propped his phone against the container his leftovers had been.

And as soon as the rapper was finished, the screen lit up about the incoming video call. When Jisung clicked on the answer buttons, her face plopped up. Uffz, she looked just as tired as he felt. And angry. Very, very angry. So something had happened.

But still, as soon as she saw him, her whole face lit up. “Hi. Sorry to disturb you this late. Hope I'm not keeping you awake.” Hearing that, he shook his head. “Nah. It's okay. If I had been too tired, I wouldn't have agreed to talk.”

Through the screen, she gave him a tentative smile. “Thank you. So, anything about your day that you can share with? After all, I've already singed an NDA, so...” Here, she winked, still a bit unsure, but there was this mirth in her eyes. It made him smile as well. And fuck it, she was right. Y/N had already signed it, so nobody could be pissed at him for telling her about his day.

And while Jisung was regaling her about what happened in the dressing room, all the chitchat he had heard and what they had to do in the show. It had simply been a show where the rapper had been allowed to taste some food others had cooked. And boy was he glad that he didn't have to cook. He could only do that if he had Minho by his side.

That anecdote made her snort. Very unladylike, but very honest. “You mean like your Ramyeon? The One Million River Ramyeon or something like that?” There was something familiar about it, but the rapper really couldn't put his finger on it. “Yeah, I'm totally lost without someone else in the kitchen. I'm lucky when I don't burn water.” Which maybe was an exaggeration. But it made her smile again.

Then she hesitated, expression a bit unsure. “I mean, if you want to, I could cook for you?” That made him blink. “You would?” Because that sounded great. Like, Jisung loved food. And now he was getting curious about what dishes she could make.

Like, they had eaten some “Schnitzel” in Frankfurt. And some “Köttbullar” in Amsterdam. It had been very tasty and while the European restaurants weren't bad, Jisung hadn't found a good restaurant here in Seoul yet. So... maybe Y/N knew how to make them? That would be phenomenal.

And she smiled, a warm one that split from ear to ear in the most beautiful way.

It was in that moment that it hit Jisung. Y/N was beautiful. From the way her eyes crinkled, her nose scrunched up, her lips... yeah. She was beautiful.

“Yeah. Of course. I love cooking for others. Not so much for myself only, but if I can make others happy with a dish? Then yeah! Sign me up.” Again, she looked so genuine. It painted a picture in his mind, a very domestic one. Of her and Minho in the kitchen while he was setting the table. Huh.

Jisung couldn't help but return the smile. Then he held out his pinky towards the screen. “Pinky promise?” Just like that, the woman extended her pinky finger as well. “Pinky promise. I'll make you the best lasagne there is!”

From that point forward they mostly talked about different foods. Comfort dishes, snacks, the ones they were currently hyper-fixating on. Or their guilty pleasures.

Their call went on for roughly thirty minutes and Y/N as well as him, started to yawn more and more. The rapper wasn't sure who had started, but he felt content and with his belly full, Jisung was feeling sleepy. “I'm sorry that I have to cut this short. But if I don't go to bed now, I'm going to fall asleep on the kitchen table.”

It made her snigger and coo. “Aww, you poor baby...” And he was ignoring the way his heart jumped a little bit hearing that. “Then I'm not going to hold you up, okay? We'll talk soon.” Now that sounded nice. Really nice. Because even though the comparison was unfair, it was just as easy as spending time with her as with his members. Even maybe a little bit like Minho.

And that was why it was unfair. Because no-one had ever come this close to feeling like that.

So he held up his hand to wave at the screen. “Bye bye. Take care!”

It was in that moment he saw her eyes widen a bit and there was a quick flash of confusion coming from his second mark, before a smile was plastered on her face. Though it didn't fully reach her eyes. Who looked... shocked? What? “You too. Sweet dreams and I hope you can relax a bit.”

Then the call disconnected and Jisung stood to clean up the dirty dishes. He couldn't help but wonder about the strange way she had looked at him for a moment, but... maybe he had imagined it? That could always be possible. Plus... the only thing she had been able to see was him and their kitchenette in the back, so there was nothing that should have tripped her up.

And then, like fifteen minutes later, when he had laid down on the couch in order to wait there until his first soulmate came home, there was a dull pain coming from one of his marks, that cut abruptly off.