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Hamish had a problem. It was two months after his seventeenth birthday and he had never been behind the wheel of a car, he was watching everyone in his class practicing their driving and then going off to get there license. Even Matt was going to try and get his license. How, Hamish wasn’t sure but he told him to go for it.
Hamish’s problem, he wasn’t sure if either of his parents had a license. They always took the tube or cabs whenever they went to a crime scene, or out in general. And if they needed a car Mycroft would show up with a car for them to use with a driver. Plus he wasn’t sure if the license in his Papa’s wallet was all that legal.
When he got home from school Hamish trudged up the steps with Matt behind him. They had to work on a project for school and decided to get as much done as they could today. “I want to get my license,” Hamish told Matt. “I want to be able to drive Violet down to Sussex or just to places that the tube can’t get to.”
“Makes sense,” Matt said. “You could drive with your Uncle.” He suggested to Hamish.
“My Uncle Mycroft- I don’t think he drives. He just gets driven places.” Hamish told Matt as they dropped their rucksacks on the kitchen table and began to search the kitchen for edible food.
“What about you Dad or Papa?” Matt asked as he grabbed a bag of crisps.
“I guess,” Hamish shrugged with a huff as he grabbed two bottles of water for them. “Ready to get this stupid project finished?”
“I’m still bummed we weren’t a loud to talk about the cracks in time and space,” Matt said as they both grabbed their rucksacks and headed up to Hamish’s room.
“I’m shocked when we asked to do a project on time not being a straight line and being timey wimey and the fact our professor agreed…” Hamish chuckled as he stopped as he heard his Dad coming up the steps from his practice. “Hey Dad,” Hamish said with a smile. “School was good, Matt and I have to work on our project.” He said covering all the basic questions that John would ask.
“Hello,” John said to Hamish and Matt with a smile. Hamish saw that he was tired from work. “Matt will you be staying for dinner?”
“I don’t think so, but thank you,” Matt said to him.
“Oh Dad, can I go driving with you later today?” Hamish asked.
John looked at him as he tried not to worry. “Why?”
“I’m seventeen and everyone is out driving. I want to get my licenses before I graduate and go off to Uni.” Hamish explained to him as he stood on the steps.
“We will talk at dinner,” John told him as Hamish ran up the steps with Matt. He wasn’t going to push it anymore for fear of him not going.
“Do you even have a car to drive?” Matt asked as they walked into Hamish’s room. Hamish kicked the door shut with his right foot.
“I’m sure my Uncle Mycroft is procuring one as we speak,” Hamish shrugged as he plopped down on his chair.
“And you don’t find that, well weird?” Matt asked as he took a seat on Hamish’s bed. He still wasn’t use to the whole British Government was his best mate’s Uncle.
“No,” Hamish said to him. Matt nodded as they began to figure out how they were going to present their project. And how to get themselves a watch like Tennant had in Human Nature and The Family in Blood.
Down in the kitchen John put the kettle on. He was screwed. He knew Sherlock knew how to drive, and that he could drive. But he hated to drive. John. He on the other hand, well he couldn’t drive. It’s not that he didn’t try. He had tried multiple times. But it never seemed to work in his favour.
The first time it became an issue was during the Baskerville case. Sherlock had asked John to drive from the train station to Cross Key’s Pub. He really did try, but the gears wouldn’t shift right and the stops were neck breaking. They were barely out of town when John pulled over in rage. Words were said; John punched the steering wheel a few times. After John calmed down he swapped seats with Sherlock. Slamming the door shut John settled into his seat Sherlock began to laugh hysterically.
The sound of Sherlock made John stop sulking and he looked over. It was one of the very few times John had heard Sherlock laugh in pure joy, and one of the time times it wasn’t murder related. John soundlessly turned his eyes back to the window and things went much smoother from there, even if Sherlock giggled every so often afterwards.
John made his tea, grabbed the paper and headed to his chair. He was about to sit down when Sherlock came in, a grin on his face and a bag full of something from Bart’s. John didn’t ask, for he didn’t want to know. From the size of the bag he knew it would have to be eyes, or tongues, or toes or fingers or worse. “We have a problem,” John told Sherlock as he took his seat, letting out the stress of the day as he sat his coffee mug on the side table and he set the paper on his lap.
Sherlock set bag into the fridge and then walked over to where John was sitting down. “What, love?” Sherlock asked him.
“Hamish and driving.” John said his voice was cold and fearful.
“Oh,” Sherlock said as a smile spread across his face as he tried to suppress a giggle as he hung up his coat on the back of the door.
“Laugh. It’s funny, I’m a 54 year old man and I can’t drive,” John said annoyed as he tossed the paper down onto the table next to him. Sherlock walked up from behind John, he leaned over, wrapping his arms around his neck and his hands ran down John’s chest. He kissed him on the back of his neck and then he moved to the side of his face and the moved to the side of his mouth.
“I still love you though,” he whispered into John’s ears. John forgot about his tea as Sherlock seemed to make his way into John’s lap, his hands wrapped around his neck as they had a nice snogging session. It was interrupted when they heard Hamish and Matt heading down the steps like a herd of wild Elephants. Matt headed home, and Sherlock called to get some Chinese.
Once the takeaways were delivered John set the table. Hamish took a seat and began to fill his plate with food. “So… can we go outdriving?” Hamish asked again as he looked at his Dad.
“Uh… ask your Papa,” John told him as he looked at his plate of food.
“Why?” Hamish asked him.
“Yes John,” Sherlock had a cat like grin on his face as he looked at John. “Why can’t you take our son our driving?”
John pressed his lips together and furrowed his brow. Sherlock was going to pay for this. “You know why Sherlock!” he hissed.
“I don’t know why,” Hamish interjected as he put some soy sauce onto his plate.
John looked over at Sherlock who was trying very hard to hide the smile that was plastered onto his face. “You are dead,” John said glaring at Sherlock as Sherlock began to stuff his face with dim sung. “Is Violet also getting her license?” John asked pushing the food around his plate.
“Dad, why can’t you drive? Did you get arrested?” Hamish asked him.
“There was that time you didn’t show up to Majesty’s court when you had the ASBO,” Sherlock reminded John his mouth still full of food. John rolled his eyes and kicked him from under the table. Sherlock shut his mouth and chewed his food up.
“Shut up Sherlock!” John hissed his eyes narrowing at him. He was going to pay even more now.
Hamish’s eyes crew wide as he looked at his dad. “You got an ASBO?” he asked a tad bit confused on how that worked out. He was seeing a whole new side to his Dad and he was a tad worried to know anymore.
“No!” John yelled. He cleared his throat and then began to talk. “I can’t drive. For I don’t have a license.” John told his son.
“Well you can renew it,” Hamish said putting a pot sticker into his mouth. This time he was going to chew it like a normal person and not have his did abuse him by kicking him from under the table.
John shook his head. “No, I’ve… I’ve um, never really had a license….”
Sherlock covered his mouth to stop from laughing and his food from coming out of his mouth and ending up all over the table. John turned his head and pointed his knife at Sherlock. “You’re sleeping out here on the bloody couch!” Sherlock immediately tried to stop his laughter. Key word: tried. He looked more like he was choking on his food than eating.
Hamish looked at his dad, “Dad… you can’t drive?” he asked him. He didn’t know how that worked his dad could do most anything. But the fact he couldn’t drive was hard to Hamish to wrap his mind around.
“Automobiles and I never got along…” John trailed off as Sherlock made some sort of snorting noise.
Suddenly Hamish got a gleam in his eye. “Brilliant! We can learn together!” he cried out. John nearly dropped his fork as Sherlock burst out laughing again, doubling over as to stop the pain in his stomach.
“What?” John asked his son hoping that he misheard him or that he was kidding.
“We can both learn,” Hamish said with a smile as he ate some more of Chicken Kow. “I’m sure Uncle Lestrade knows how to and can help.”
“Yes,” Sherlock said his face bright red. He looked up as he had composed himself for a moment. “Please can Uncle Lestrade teach and I watch?”
John glared at Sherlock. “Don’t you have a case to solve?”
Sherlock shook his head. “Not, but I think I should call Lestrade…”
“I swear Sherlock if you do-” John yelled as he lunged for Sherlock’s mobile.
Hamish grabbed is plate and drink and made his way out of the kitchen. The row had begun and he was all too familiar with how they ended. He climbed up the steps to finish his dinner in peace, as well as call Violet and tell her about the news he found out about his dad. He still had questions about the ASBO.
~~~
The next day the Watson-Holmes family and Lestrade bundled into a car Mycroft indeed procured out of now where. Two of the occupants in the car were very much excited for the day ahead of them. One was debating if this was his division and one was decidedly grumpy. John’s attitude continued out to the county side. Lestrade decided Hamish (and John) could practice out here, fewer people and things to hit. London wasn’t really conducive to driving practice.
Sherlock got out of the car and headed into the back with John as their son got behind the wheel of the vehicle. This should have a monumental time in Hamish’s life, and John and Sherlock should have been excited and all weepy like most parents but John sat in the back brooding and Sherlock was a case of giggles.
Hamish buckled himself up, as did everyone in the car. “Okay,” Lestrade began as he looked at Hamish. “Now easy, not too much pressure on the gas.” Lestrade said as they jerked forward and then eased into a steady driving pace. Hamish was going 15 mph in the empty lot. “Easy no?” Lestrade asked him as Hamish nodded his head. His hands on three and nine like they should be.
Sherlock looked at John. His arms were folded over his chest as he sat in the back still brooding. He was taking over Sherlock’s role for the day.
“Can I go faster?” Hamish asked as he came to a less jerky stop this time. Lestrade nodded as Hamish pressed the gas and they got up to 40 mph.
“See it’s easy John,” Sherlock told him with a smile. Sherlock tried to lean over and kiss John but he was in a mood. He placed his hand on his knee and gave it a little squeeze.
“You are going to pay for this,” John said to him through his teeth. Once Hamish rounded the last corner he stopped the car, put it into park and turned around to let John know it was his turn. Sherlock gave him a good luck kiss, even though John didn’t return the kiss. John shakily got into the driver’s seat. He buckled up, made sure his son was buckled and then lifted his foot from the break and set it on the gas. The car didn’t move. He pressed harder but the car still didn’t move. Lestrade cleared his throat and tapped the gear shift. It was still in neutral. Oh John thought. He sheepishly changed gears and attempted to inch forward. Somehow they stared to zoom towards a fence instead.
“Christ!” Lestrade yelled as John managed to slam on the breaks inches away from the fence. Sherlock said nothing as he looked at his son. Hamish was white with fear. Sherlock was hoping he didn’t get sick and vomit in the back of the car.
John threw the car into park, unbuckled his seat belt and yelled. “I’m done!” he was beyond embarrassed. He got out of the car, slammed the door and walked a few feet away. Sherlock unbuckled himself and followed his husband out of the car.
“John-” Sherlock said as he tried to touch his shoulder.
“No, I’m done Sherlock,” John said jerking away. His face was red and his voice was growing louder as he spoke. “You had your laugh now we are done.”
“John, you said that you always wanted to set a good example…”
“Fuck that Sherlock I’m not driving!” John yelled as he turned to him.
Hamish looked out the car window at his Dad’s. “Why did you let my Papa talk you into this?” Hamish asked his Uncle as he climbed from the back of the car into the driver’s seat.
“I didn’t think… I was wrong,” Lestrade said as he looked over at Hamish.
Outside Sherlock was trying his best to sooth John. After he ranted a few moments he stood there looking defeated at Sherlock. He drew John into a hug and held him close. “You’re not a failure John. And you’re not going to let this beat you. You’ve beat worse enemies than an old Rolls Royce.” Sherlock explained as he stole a kiss from his lips. This time John kissed him back.
“But the others didn’t have the ability to take out a fence.”
“I beg to differ,” Sherlock said looking at him. John chuckled a little bit and turned to watch Lestrade giving Hamish a few more lessons. Hamish zoomed around a few more times before bringing it to a smooth stop.
“He thinks he is cool like James Bond now,” John laughed.
“Oh no, not him to,” Sherlock moaned as Hamish pulled the car up next to his Dad’s.
“You want try again Dad?” he asked. John took a deep breath. He was a Watson. A soldier, he could master driving a car.
“One more time,” he said it coming out less confident than he had hoped. John sat one more time behind the wheel. Lestrade moved into the back with Hamish and Sherlock headed up to the passenger seat. Thinking this would help put John at easy. John put the car into gear and pressed lightly on the gas as the car moved.
“See you got this,” Sherlock told John with a smile. Hamish and Lestrade stayed quiet in the back of the car. John gave the car more gas as he turned a corner. He was getting the hang of it. But then it happened. As John was turning another corner there was a skip.
“At least we know the airbags work,” Sherlock told John as they waited for a ride to pick them up. They had decided to call Mycroft since it was his car that John had just totaled.
“Funny,” John said as he sat on the ground and pulled his legs close to his chest. He looked like an upset teenager.
Sherlock sat next to him. “It just takes practice. You were doing so well till the skip jumped out in front of you,” he said nudging him with his shoulder.
“It’s an inanimate object Sherlock. It can’t jump.” John said defeated.
“Could be our enemies at work. I can see your blog now: A Study in Skips.”
John elbowed him, “not funny.” But he was laughing as he told him that. John sighed as he laid his head on Sherlock’s boney shoulder. Now they had to figure out how to explain this to Mycroft.
“Dad,” Hamish said sitting down next to him. “Are you okay?” John lifted his head and looked at his son.
“Yes Hal. Sorry about all of this,” he said as they looked at the car. John was screwed if he was going to have to pay to fix it.
“It was interesting. Um, so I was thinking when Uncle Mycroft gives us another car, since I wasn’t the one to cause the accident, can I just go out driving with Uncle Lestrade?”
“Yes,” John and Sherlock both said to him as a two black cars pulled up to their rescue, or their demise depending on who you asked.
Mycroft listened patiently to their elaborate explanation (or lie) about what happened to the car and the skip before he handed the key’s over to Lestrade. “For Hamish’s use only.” He then turned to Sherlock and John. “I’ll bring these two home.” He said as Sherlock rolled his eyes as John hit him in the arm.
“Thank you,” John said.
Lestrade smiled as he handed Hamish the keys to the new car. “I promise to bring him home in one piece,” he told John and Sherlock. Hamish waved to his dads as he got into the driver’s seat of the car. John waved back as he dragged Sherlock to Mycroft’s car.
They got in, shut the door and the car turned around and began to make its way back to London. “Now, what really happened to the car?” Mycroft asked. He raised an eyebrow as his focus narrowed in on John. “Doctor Watson?”
John blushed deep red. “I um… didn’t see the skip. I…I’m not- I can’t drive,” John admitted to him as he waited to hear how much he owned in damages.
Mycroft nodded. “Not to worry Doctor Watson. Neither can I.”
“Is that supposed to make him feel better?” Sherlock told his brother as he rolled his eyes.
“It’s fine-” John sighed. “Let’s just not speak of this okay?”
“You might want to have a word with Lestrade about that one.” Sherlock said as he raised his eyebrow to John. John rolled his eyes and hit his head against the wall. He was screwed.
~~~
“You can do this Hal,” Violet said as they waited to be called to take their driving portion of their test.
“If Matt can pass, I can pass,” Hamish told himself more as he kissed Violet on the nose. They had decided to go together to be each other’s good luck charm for then they had to drive.
“No, you can pass because you are Hamish Watson-Holmes,” Violet pointed out to him with a smile.
“Yes, where the Watson part of me can’t drive and the Holmes part of me has… well not,” Hamish paused. “Shall we say a proper license?” Violet looked at him and all she could do was laughing.
Hamish did pass luckily. As did Violet, they were both licensed drivers. Mycroft let Hamish use the car he used to practice driving when John and Sherlock surprise him and said he could take Violet down to Sussex for a weekend to visit her Grandmother and well just drive.
A few weeks later, John passed to. Barely. He almost killed the instructor in a roundabout but she let him pass. John knew she felt pity on him. But he took what he could get. As for their celebration of John passing they allowed Hamish and Matt head to Italy for the week over their Holiday break.
That week Sherlock didn’t allow John to leave the bed. Except when John took Hamish’s car and drove across town to pick up a new box of condoms, since he could do that now. It was nice to spend that entire week just the two of them. No cases, no distractions. John realized that Sherlock never complained once about being bored.
When Hamish got back from Italy he saw that his Uncle had taken the Rolls Royce. He was a tad sad but he knew he wouldn’t have the car forever. But now he had to get a job to save up for a new car. He didn’t want to have a license and not be able to fully use it.
Come down. I have something for you-Mycroft
Hamish looked down at his phone; he jumped off his bed and ran down the steps. “Dad! Papa! Uncle Mycroft has something for me!” Hamish yelled not wanting to see if they were snogging on the couch or not. They had just got home from a case and they tended to do that now.
Both got up and followed their son down to the street. There Mycroft stood next to a yellow car. Hamish smiled and then looked a bit concerned about the car. Mycroft handed him the keys. “Thanks Uncle Myccy for the car… even though it’s yellow.
“I felt it would be useful to have one, and well if you get a few dings it won’t be heartache,” he explained to Hamish as he took the keys and then looked into the car. It was new for it had an aux cord for his iPod
“No,” Sherlock said as he walked over and took the keys from his son’s hand and handed them back to Mycroft. “Take it back.”
“Really Sherlock, don’t be a child.” Protested Mycroft.
John huffed; it was always a power struggle between the two Holmes brothers. It was a tad annoying now after all these years. “Sherlock this is really nice.”
“I don’t you want you tracking our son Mycroft. He won’t be taking your car.” Sherlock said not looking at John for he was taking back his comment about it being a nice gesture from his brother.
Hamish looked up from his car and looked at his Uncle. “You don’t have my new car with a tracker on it do you Uncle Myccy?” he asked him.
“It’s for your safety.” He said.
Hamish rolled his eyes and walked away from it. There went the idea of a new free car. “Has the idea of being normal and non…. British Government and all secret codes and James Bond ever crossed your mind?”
Mycroft looked at him a bit puzzled as John snorted. “No. Hamish you never know.”
Hamish shook his head. “I’m not driving a car that is like a personal tracking anklet criminals wear; it’s bad enough you have a device in the shoes I wear.”
“See,” Sherlock said. “How did you know about those?” he asked.
“I’m not an idiot Papa.” Hamish said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Mycroft walked over to Hamish and handed him the key’s again. “Well I thought you should have it. It’s very important to your parents’ history.”
John looked at the car again. Realizing that Mycroft had a once black car painted yellow. No doubt since there were few yellow cars in London and it would be easy to find. But it wasn’t the color. John thought back to one night before Hamish came into their lives when Mycroft had his minion picked them up from a crime scene.
John looked at Sherlock and he was thinking the same thing. They had always kept their sexual part of their relationship behind closed doors. Sure they would sneak a kiss here or there at a crime scene but that night something had them both worked up and they needed to relieve that built up tension and adrenaline and so they did.
“It’s the car I first kidnapped your Dad in when he met your Papa. I did have it painted a new color thought,” Mycroft explained as he saw John and Sherlock both breath out a sigh of relief. Mycroft knew that they were thinking and then turned to them, “I had that car destroyed.”
“What car…” Hamish said as he took the keys back from his Uncle.
“That’s a story for when you are older and drunk,” John said cutting of Sherlock before he could speak. “Are you going to pick up Violet and show her your new ride?”
“Yes, get the laughing out of the way,” he said as he checked for his wallet. Hamish thanked his Uncle again. Mycroft got back into the black car and headed on his way. Hamish bid his dad’s goodbye as he drove off to get Violet.
“The flat is empty,” John said to Sherlock as the sun began to set. Sherlock’s lips curled into a smile as he took John’s hand and pulled him back into 221b. He knew what they would be doing the rest of the evening.