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“Wait, wait, so you were an actual zombie?” Melody asked, sounding half-surprised and half-amused. Soos nodded.
“Yup,” he replied. “I don’t remember much, but apparently I was leading a whole army of those doods! And I kept saying, “Braaaaaiiiiinnns!” He put his arms out in front of him in an imitation of a reanimated corpse. Melody laughed.
“I’m glad you’re back to normal, Soos. Not sure if dating a rotting corpse would work out.”
“I know, right? But enough about me. How have you been since going back to Portland?”
“I’ve been settling back in okay, but I do miss Gravity Falls. It was different than I’d expected, in the best way. But I’m glad that I got to spend my last day there with you, Soos.”
“Me too, Melody.”
Melody looked at the corner of the screen, presumably checking the time. They’d been talking since around 7 PM, but Soos hadn’t kept track of how long their chat had been. “Well, I should probably sign off. It’s getting l—”
Her image froze. Puzzled, Soos asked, “Melody? Melody, are you there?”
“S—s,” her face moved again, but only barely. It reminded Soos of the DVDs he’d accidentally scratched. Melody’s voice was choppy, like a fading connection. “I think we’re b—reak—ak-ak-ing up—”
Melody’s face became a blur of dead pixels, and he heard fragments of her words. “S—-s, I c—-n’t see y—u!” Suddenly, her voice was clear. “SOOS!”
“Melody?” Soos shook the screen, as if that would fix the lost signal. “Melody!”
Suddenly, he heard familiar 8-bit music.
He knew that music. His darkened room became much brighter, like it was the middle of the day. Onscreen, cherry blossom petals fluttered, while little hearts and stars floated like bubbles.
Melody’s face blinked out, before another face appeared. “Hi, Soos!”
Soos would know that cherry-sweet voice anywhere. “.GIFfany? N-no! This is impossible! I destroyed your game! I killed you!”
“Oh, Soos, I’m not an ordinary game, remember? I’m special.” He’d heard those words before, at the mall when she revealed what she’d done to her programmers. “One copy of my game being destroyed was no problem. I can still jump from game to game! I even found somebody.”
”So, then, why come back here?” Soos asked.
“You aren’t the only one I’ll be visiting, silly. I’m gonna make sure no other real girl replaces girls like me!”
How could he not see it before? Destroying one game didn’t eliminate .GIFfany forever. He should’ve known she’d find a way to come back.
But she didn’t just want him anymore. She wanted to destroy every real girl out there. Every girl that would be a competition, a threat.
“What are you gonna do to them?” Soos’ voice cracked as he imagined hundreds of girls being hurt, being killed, at the hands of a psychotic dating sim.
Even after moving on, .GIFfany couldn’t stand the idea of being second best.
The background behind her turned red, and her voice deepened. “I won’t let any other girls shove me aside anymore! I’m everything any guy could ever want, and more!”
“But you aren’t even real! You can’t be here, in the real world. You’re just a game!”
“Oh, really?” Soos’ body spasmed as electricity surged through him. “Was that real enough for you?”
His nerves were tingling, but he glared at her. “.GIFfany, if you hurt anybody…”
“Try and stop me!” .GIFfany taunted. “What will you do? Destroy every arcade game in Gravity Falls? Break into people’s homes to find more copies of my game?” She grinned, her pearly whites shining like stars. Stars that were too close. “You never really killed me, Soos. And you never will!”
The screen blacked out. “.GIFfany?”
Melody’s face reappeared, but it was twisted with pain. Her whole body convulsed, blue lightning encircling her. “NO!”
Bright and sparkling laughter blasted from his computer’s speakers. He turned the little knob to lower the volume, but it only got louder. Static buzzed like flies. That mixed with Melody’s screams made Soos want to scream himself. It made him want to rip the cord from the wall and hurl the computer out the window.
Then, it stopped. Melody collapsed out of view, but Soos heard a loud thud as she hit the floor. With a flash of bright blue and pink pixels, the screen simply read: GAME OVER.
Soos jolted awake.
He felt sick, remembering that voice. The same voice that followed him, stalked him.
He wished he’d never bought the stupid game. He wished he didn’t need it to learn how to talk to real girls. Moreover, he wished he’d listened when he was warned not to buy it. The girl at the store had even pointed out the warning, destroy at all costs. He’d ignored the signs, and he fell for .GIFfany’s charm. He’d caught on to her possessiveness when it was too late.
Worst of all: he wasn’t over any of it. He didn’t still have feelings for .GIFfany—he never really did. Not really. But how could he get over almost being killed by a band of possessed animatronics? How could he get over almost having his brain downloaded into a game? And Melody…
How could he be the boyfriend she deserved? She could’ve been killed that night. If .GIFfany was still alive, who knows what she could do to her? Soos wasn’t eager to find out.
No. He was done with virtual dating. Melody was the only girl for him. She wasn’t part of a simulation. She was a real girl. And honestly? She was better than any dating sim could ever hope to be.
THE END