Archive of Our Own ^beta

🌻 She never forces eye contact—ever

Regina is always one to see things beyond the obvious. She notices very early on in your relationship with her that eye contact is a real struggle for you, and Regina understands what this means for you. She never asks you to look at her when your having a conversation, because unlike a lot of people, she understands completely that listening doesn’t mean holding eye contact, there are so many way in which a person listens.

🌻 She talks to you while looking elsewhere, so you feel no pressure

She meets you in your comfort zone. Regina is always chatting to you, whether it’s just you two sat on the couch, or whilst she makes the tea, cooks dinner, pretending to read, or simply looking out the window. She makes sure the space your in is safe and comfortable where you can engage on your terms and your terms alone. Not anyone else’s just yours. It caring and it’s understanding. And most of all it’s love.

🌻 She understands your listening style isn’t broken—it’s different

You have had so many people tell you how rude and disrespectful you are for not giving eye contact when engaging in conversation or when listening to that persons part of said conversation, it’s been an uphill battle. And Regina? She would have that kind of language, she shuts that down before the words are even able to leave the person head.

Regina tells people, sharp tone, if and when anyone doubts your way of listening “She is listening, probably better than any of you, she just does it in her own way. Just because she’s not looking it does not equal not listening.”

🌻 She treasures the moments you do make eye contact—but never expects it

Regina knows she’s your safe person, one of the only people you are able to hold eye contact with, but she never expects you to. When she do she holds onto it like it’s the moon holding the stars. She never mentions it, she’s just moves in it. But she feels it, and she will always smile back, small and soft, as she holds your hand or places a palm on the bottom of your spine.

🌻 She notices that Emma is the only other person you can make eye contact with

It happens just once in the space of three months, but then it happened again, and again and again. You were holding eye contact with Emma Swan, in a similar way you did with Regina. But it was different. Regina saw that Emma was another safe person for you, she saw the beauty in of what that was and what it meant for you. It was an unspoken trust between yourself, Regina and Emma.

🌻 She protects your comfort in public

Sometimes people can be thoughtless, they don’t think or don’t understand or both. If someone steps over the line, demanding your ‘full’ attention as they say it, and in a way that is unwarranted, Regina always steps in without question.

“What’s it matter if y/n is looking at you or not? I’d rather not look at you but here we are. She’s listening that’s all you need to know.” Her tone crisp, and lethal. Wrapping round them like a snake around its prey.

🌻 She helps you find alternatives to show connection

Eye contact is so uncomfortable for you and Regina sees that in every conversation, every interaction and so she finds new ways for you to connect.

With her if you can’t give her eyes contact, you both use hand squeezes, shared glances at people, books or other items, kisses, brushing your hair back gently, soft touches. These are all things Regina did to make you feel held and safe, with no pressure on your eyes because she knew how uncomfortable it made you feel and she would never put you in a position where you felt like that. Not ever.

She never makes you feel like you’re not part of the conversation because you look away, she always ensures that you are included and held in the space for as long as you need to be and want to be.

🌻 She becomes fluent in your body language

Regina learns everything she can about you, what you say in the minuscule movements. What they mean to you and to her. The way your hand tugs at her sleeve if you’re too overwhelmed or overstimulated to use your voice. The way your tone shifts just slightly, her understanding your nervous, emotional or overstimulated again.

When you go nonverbal, she understands it on a wavelength that know one else has. She tunes in. She watches. She listens to the magic of your silence.

🌻 She uses her own vulnerability to comfort yours

Regina opens up and explain “I used to avoid eye contact too. I found it uncomfortable I still do. But I was forced into keeping it and I would never wish that on anyone. The way you listen is beautiful and sacred. Don’t let anyone make you so afraid that you do it out of fear my darling.” And her hand finds yours, the other stroking your cheek with her knuckles in gentle, rhythmic soothing circles. “You’re perfect…exactly as you are.”

🌻 When you do meet her gaze, it’s like the whole world softens

Regina knows how incredibly hard it is for you to give eye contact so when you do, she’s always silently proud, and silently celebrates because she knows that giving eye contact is an achievement but also that not giving it does not mean anything is wrong with you, because to her you’re perfect just the way you are. She respects you. She knows what it means for you whether you give it or not and she is proud of you every single day, wether you give eye contact or not, she loves you exactly as you are.

🌻 She recognizes the signs of burnout before you do

She always notices when your whole body slows down. She sees the longer pauses between sentences, the quietness, the way in which even your stims slow, the way your eyes stare off into space. You go quiet for longer spaces of time — too long. Regina, she notices every time and she never questions you or asks you to explain she just lets you be, whilst keeping a close eye on you too.

“Come here honey. Let’s slow everything down, you need rest.” And she would pull you into her arms, you resting your head on her chest as she held you close, and helped you regulate your nervous system.

🌻 She cancels everything without hesitation

When you’re in burnout out, it’s hard to even get out of bed some days. It’s why too often it’s misdiagnosed as depression, with the two looking fairly similar—but burnout isn’t depression.

When Regina sees you’re in it, she cancels everything…meetings, appointments (unless necessary), town drama is ignored, and any mayoral duties are handled, either she works from home or passes anything onto someone else who she trusts until you’re better.

When you worry that she’s putting too much time into you when she could be at work or with a partner who isn’t a “burden” she reminds you “oh my sweet girl, you are not a burden, and nothing, I mean nothing is more important than you.” Her voice soft as she gently rubs her hand through your scalp, fingers soft and graceful until your eye lids flutter shut.

🌻 She creates a low-sensory environment just for you

This isn’t just when you’re in burnout, but she takes extra care specifically when you are—she takes extra measures, extra time to ensure your environment is sensory friendly to help you recover.

She dims the lights, brings in a blue night light, makes sure the house is quiet and lets Emma and Henry know that if they come over, that they are to be silent. She brings you fluffy blankets, weighted blankets, cooling blankets, so you can decide which one you need. Her voice is low, soft in almost a whisper.

She climbs into bed (or on the couch) with you, she holds you close, making sure she watches you as you rest. Whether you fall asleep or not, you know that she’s there and that everything she does is and always will be gentle when it comes to you.

“I love you.” She whispers, as the glimmer of the blue night light washes over you both “I’ll hold you like this, always.”

🌻 She speaks less, and softer

Regina’s usual fiery, sharp voice is put aside when it comes to you. She changes it, makes it softer, more gentle, kinder, slower sentences, or if you need it she doesn’t say a word: she sits in the silence with you and is more than happy to do so.

No questions, no judgement, just her presence, watching over you carefully and with love holding you in the space.

🌻 She offers, never demands

She always takes care of you, asks if you want—but if you don’t then that’s okay. She never forces you, or pushes you if you’re not ready. She’ll just ask;

“Baby…would it help to eat something soft?”

“Do you want me to hold you sweetheart? or would you rather be alone right now?”

And she never forgets to remind you

“I’ll be right here, always, whatever you decide I’m not leaving your side.” And she kisses your forehead softly, with the gentleness she surrounds you with.

It’s always your choice and she makes sure of that every time.

🌻 She helps with daily tasks

She knows that things that come easy to everyone else are harder for you—particularly during burnout, so she helps you with tasks such as brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, helping you change clothes if you need to. She likes being able to care for you whether your in burn out or not—she never infantilises, it’s just wholesome—love and care for her favourite girl.

🌻 She uses magic to help regulate your environment

Despite Regina having magic, she doesn’t use it as much as used to, however when it comes to you that rule doesn’t apply.

She sometimes uses it to create soft spells the replicate the sounds or smells of your favourite places, like the beach you went to with Regina for your birthday last year, the smell of salty sea water, the sound of waves crashing, or the sound of a stream and birds chirping in your favourite forest, or your favourite sound—thunderstorms. The smell of the rain, the sound of it too, heavy against stone or glass, and the rumble of thunder. Regina creates this and more, with the sound and scents to match your needs, you wants, whatever make you feel better and at ease—she does it.

🌻 She lets you go nonverbal without making it awkward

Sometime being in burnout also means you go nonverbal, you stop speaking, it happens, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong, it’s just your way of dealing with everything whilst recovering and still being utterly exhausted.

Regina always adapts, without question. She doesn’t push or judge, she just changes the way she helps. She keeps a notebook near, or speaks in gentle, soft tones, her hands are always touching yours, unless you don’t want her too. She learns to read your body language for answers and communication. Mostly she just sits with you, her skin touching yours, no words needed, just her devotion to you.

🌻 She protects your dignity

Other people in town don’t always understand, specifically people like Snow, Leroy or other townspeople, but Regina won’t have anyone judging you or justifying their actions because they don’t understand. She protects you at all costs.

“She’s recovering Snow. That means she needs rest. She does not need interfering busy bodies like yourself hounding her with unwarranted questions. Leave her be. Let her recover.” Regina’s voice strong and sharp and leaves no room for any sort of argument.

“You told them to go?” You ask, voice just loud enough for her to hear.

“Always. You come first.” Regina strokes the side of your face with her knuckle, smiling as you’re curled up in bed under the duvet, your cat plushie under your arm.

🌻 She celebrates your slow recharging

Recovering from burnout takes time, so when you finally smile or laugh again? Or when you stim freely? Regina watches with joy in her eyes. She never overreacts to it, but her love for you, the way she doesn’t stop watching you for a single moment as you spin round the living room holding your plushie as ABBA or Taylor Swift plays on the record player. To Regina you freely being you is the most glorious site.

“There’s my beautiful brave girl.” She whispers, shinning with pride.

🌻 She encourages rest—not recovery speed

You’re often itching to get back to every day life, to “normalcy”, but Regina sees that and she knows when it’s too soon or when you’re trying to do too much before your mind and body are there.

She gives you gentle reminders “Sweetheart slow down, there’s no rush or pressure for you to bounce back, take your time, you need to. Remember it’s okay to take as long as your body requires.” Because Regina knows sometimes burnout lasts years and she never wants you to feel that you’re on a timeline to recover.

“You don’t owe anyone a timeline. Not me, not Emma and certainly not,” Reginas hand slips under your chin, holding gently “you. You are so brave by just being you and recovering each day. Slowly. Don’t put pressure on yourself, you’ll just burn out again before you’ve even recovered.” And she presses a soft kiss to your head.

🌻 She tracks your burnout patterns over time

Regina wants to make sure that she knows what didn’t or did work with each burnout you have. She keeps a notebook with all that information in and with time each burnout becomes easier to manage, and not because your masking, no you have learned not to do that anymore—not with Regina or with Emma. Masking doesn’t exist in their company.

Burnout has become easier to manage because Regina has adapted around it. Making sure she has everything in place when it hits, when she sees the signs, she subtly starts moving and adapting herself to the new routine that’s about to hit.

🌻 She reaffirms your worth

You often put yourself down, you feel like you’re a burden or not good enough because of being almost constantly in a state of exhaustion, and when you say things like “I’m useless” or “I’m broken,” or “I hate fucking being like this!” Regina looks you in the eyes, holding your chin and whispers, gentle but firm “You are not broken my darling, you are overwhelmed. You are exhausted. There’s a difference. There is nothing wrong with you baby and I wouldn’t change you for the world, and I love you and will love you through all of it.”

🌻 She never uses it against you

Basic tasks are even harder when burned out, and yet Regina has never once thrown it back in your face, never used it against you in an argument, never uses it to make you feel guilt or shame. She would never even dream of doing such a thing, because to her your burn out isn’t something that you should be ashamed of. It’s your body telling you that you need rest, patience and kindness and that you’ve been pushing yourself too much and too far.

Burnout is sometimes feeling like a thin scraping of butter not quite reaching the corners of the toast but wishing you could.

Burnout is a vulnerability, and to Regina that vulnerability is sacred, and so special and she will hold you and it in her hands and will never let it go.

“You don’t have to be afraid of it sweetheart.”

🌻 When you come back to yourself, she’s still right there

Finding yourself again isn’t easy, it takes time. Each day you try something new that you couldn’t have done in burnout like brushing your teeth or hair or showering more often and without help. You do it. And Regina doesn’t resent or judge. No. She watches you carefully. Smiles when you sit at the breakfast table, teeth brushed, showered, hair still wet and tangled but that’s okay. You did some of the things and she’s so proud of you.

Regina passes you a mug off earl grey tea, a bowl of fruit and yogurt “Welcome back, my darling,” she whispers. “I never stopped loving my favourite girl…that’s you by the way in case you were wondering.”