Work Text:
Your hands against mine
With a sigh, Mae pushed open the door to her small room, grocery bags on her shoulders, weighing a ton. After all the time on the road, with all the trauma and grief added to it, she’d thought she could be happy going back to her old job. At least there she didn’t have to fear for anyone’s life or that she might be forced to kill someone. Again.
With a heavy step, Mae went into her room, ready to just drop her bags the next second. But before the door could fall shut behind her, it got held up, the presence of a body behind her palpable. Instantly, Mae turned around, ready to swing her freshly bought fruits against the intruders head.
An apologetic smirk stopped her, Ter’s face filling her both with relief and worry at once.
“Welcome home”, he said, still standing in the frame and holding the door open, “How was your day?”
Ter didn’t live with here. Heck, after they’d reconciled, they’d mostly met outside, but his words were so domestic, so needed, they made Mae’s emotions well up in an instant.
“This is my home”, she grumbled but stepped back to let Ter in. She didn’t know what he wanted, but she also didn’t ask. Mae would much rather have him come by without a reason than hear an excuse or one that would make her worry. Again.
“It is”, Ter shrugged and grinned and closed the door carefully. His slender fingers pushed the wood almost tenderly but precisely and it reminded Mae both of the way he handled a weapon but also how he cared for wounds. Two opposite memories but they all belonged to this one man.
Similar to Phon, Mae thought, even though she’d rarely seen his violent side and only ever when he’d tried to protect her.
Swallowing, she went further into her apartment, kicking her shoes off to the side before placing the groceries on the tiny shelf next to her small fridge. There wasn’t any room to cook and she wouldn’t have wanted to after her shifts, but sometimes she’d allow herself some fresh fruits and that was what the fridge held besides cooled water and juices.
“Something to drink?”, she asked as she stored everything and Ter only let out an affirmative hum.
As Ter sat down on the bed, got off her apron. When her hands went up to the buttons on her blouse, Ter startled and jumped up.
“What?”, Mae asked, remembering how they’d slept in the same bed already. How they’d spent the time in the same room, barely dressed. Her surgery hadn’t happened yet and Ter had never shown any special discomfort.
“You ...”, Ter averted his eyes, obviously shy, “Warn a guy!”
Mae laughed, too exhausted for fake decency.
“You’ve seen me almost naked already. What are you shy for now?”
Ter had turned away, holding the bottle of juice as if it was an anchor, his slender fingers trembling slightly.
“That was an emergency”, Ter muttered, “Now ... I ... you ...”
“Me?”
With no more fucks to give and intrigued enough, Mae stepped closer to the blushing and stumbling man, his usual cool vanished into thin air.
“You’re a lady!”, Ter got out in a rush, “Don’t just undress in front of any man!”
This made Mae chuckle and step even closer. Sensing her approach, Ter’s shoulders grew tense, raising them almost up to his flushed ears. A hand came up and Ter brushed through the hair at his neck, giving Mae the sudden and deep urge to grab it. To hold it.
“But you’re not any man, are you?”
By any god, she really was tired, wasn’t she?
Seeing the tense line of Ter’s back, hearing him stammer around an answer, she stepped back with a tiny sigh.
“I didn’t think you’d care”, she stated and meant their journey together, the lines they’d crossed already long ago.
But Ter jumped around, eyes wide, bottle in a tight grip.
“I do!”, he shouted, leaving Mae perplexed at the sudden outburst, the fierce determination in his eyes.
A sudden banging against the wall got accompanied by a screamed “Shut up!”, taking both of them out of their stupor and pulling them back into the real world.
“Shut up yourself!”, Mae shouted back before looking at Ter again. There was no reply from the other side of the wall.
“I do care”, the man in front of her repeated, quietly this time.
“Oh”, was all Mae could say, her mind a hurricane of emotions and thoughts, insecurities and urges, broken dreams and the tiniest hope.
Now shy herself, she went back to her buttons because it felt like the only thing left to do. Even if it made Ter turn away again, those fierce, determined eyes no longer on her. It felt like a heavy weight got taken from her and she mourned it the very next instant.
“Just ...”, Ter started again, voice a bit more steady than before, “Just be careful, okay?”
‘Why would I do this in front of anyone else?’, Mae wanted to say when a sharp pain went through her scalp, making her utter an “Ouch!” instead.
This time, Ter didn’t turn around. Instead he stared at the window.
“What happened?”, he asked though just as Mae was examining the source of the pain. Apparently in all her confusing some hair had gotten stuck on one of the buttons, holding on with a forceful grip.
“Ah, my hair got stuck”, Mae replied. Frowning, she tried to untangle the mess but her fingers were as muddled as her mind.
An idea formed in her racing thoughts and she stepped closer.
“Can I help?”, Ter asked in that very moment and Mae watched his fingers tightening by his side, pearls of sweat running down his nape.
“Could you?”, she asked, wondering if it sounded as shaken as she felt or if it was as flirty as she’d hoped for.
Slowly, Ter turned back again, gaze shielded but barely. His eyes followed her fingers pointing to the button at fault and after swallowing once, Ter nodded and moved in.
His hands had barely touched the spot where hair and button connected when Mae wondered if this had been a good idea. Her heart started beating with the kind of speed she’d find worrying on anyone else. She couldn’t but stand still though, pulse on her tongue and desperately trying not to lean in, not to loose herself in the proximity she’d never expected to crave.
“Oh that’s a stubborn one”, Ter muttered in front of her, focused on the task at hand while his breath hit her collarbone.
Was this urge even reciprocated? Was he only politely honouring Phon’s wishes or had he found his own reason to be close to her? The way Mae had? A way that would involve more than protection?
“Got it!”
Mae had barely been able to concentrate on the current task but when Ter looked up with a proud smile, fingers slowly letting go of her blouse, there was no way for her to restrain herself any longer.
With one swift move, she grabbed Ter’s hand and held it between her own, the slender fingers instantly curling around hers.
“Thank you”, Mae whispered, unsure what to do next. Ter was right in front of her, wide eyed and stunned, so different from the weeks and months they’d been on the road together. A new side she would love, Mae realised. A new side to the man she’d come to like, to want even. And it made her wonder how many more sides to him there were to explore and find out.
It was a goal. A wish. A dream she hadn’t believed she could dream again. Not without Phon. But here Ter was, letting go of more and more walls around her, showing her his confusion, his vulnerability, his worry.
And Mae wanted nothing but to show him herself, too.
Ter’s fingers were still curled around hers, instinctively or purposefully she didn’t know. They were cool and smooth, surprisingly so despite his job.
“Your hand is cold”, she murmured and Ter nodded, a bit dazed.
“The bottle was cold”, he replied in a similar murmur, low as if it was a secret.
“Right”, Mae let out a chuckle at that.
Shy and locked, Ter still made no effort to get out of the hold. His gaze flittered back to Mae every other second and despite her own nervousness, Mae felt in control for once.
“You don’t have to ...”, Ter said, pointing towards their joined hands with his chin.
“Right”, Mae responded, “But what if I want to?”
There was another stunned silence, Ter’s eyes searching hers for answers that were on her tongue, ready to be unleashed but maybe not yet ready to be received.
“Okay”, Ter swallowed, “But didn’t you want to change?”
Oh! Yes!
Mae laughed as she remembered her own state, the reason why she’d even come into the situation with Ter so close, his hands at her skin.
She lifted Ter’s hand up to her lips and kissed it, the pressure enough to make sure he knew it was real. Then she let it go but watched as he stretched his fingers as if they were tingling.
“Don’t leave”, she said before turning away to undress properly and get into something more comfortable.
“No way”, she heard a quiet murmur behind herself and it heightened the butterflies in her stomach.
When she turned back, he was once more seated on the bed, eyes averted but his shoulders less tense. Cute she thought and nudged his shoulder.
“You want to get dinner?”, she asked and enjoyed the way his gaze wandered over her from top to bottom. She wasn’t even wearing anything fancy, only simple loose shirt and one of her favourite light skirts, but he seemed to soak her sight up all the same.
“Are you still hungry?”, he asked, knowing that she usually ate at her workplace.
Mae shrugged.
“Not much, but I still have a bit of an appetite left.”
She said it with a wink, a daring move she hadn’t made in quite a while. One that confessed and promised at once. A wide grin settled on Ter’s face and he brushed his ruffled hair back before getting up.
“Sure!”
And then he held his hand out. The one she’d caught just minutes ago.
“Let’s go?”, he asked and without allowing herself one more second of doubt, Mae took his hand, intertwined their fingers and held on tight. His hand was warm now, comfortable against her own skin. A reassurance that was both reassuring and exciting.
Maybe, Mae thought, it was time for yet another dare, another step.
And so she leaned in to press her nose and lips against Ter’s cheek, soaking in the scent that was so very much his.
“Yes”, she whispered and leaned back with a smile that stretched her cheeks wide.
Once more, Ter looked stunned, shy and as if he was about to vibrate out of his skin. But his hold on her hand stayed tight and Mae dragged him out of the room, down towards the street and a busy life she’d wanted to flee only minutes before.
“What are you in the mood for?”, she asked and looked back to see him smile at their joined hands as if in a dream.
Another side, she realised.
Another moment they got to have.
Another love.
And she memorised it to her heart’s content.
the End