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In life, memories are everything, they are extremely precious to a human. Where the possibility of losing contact with others is very high, memories are the one thing you'll always keep of those loved ones. The course of one's life isn't guaranteed, no matter how much one may try to control the narrative, the truth of the matter was— that it was impossible to completely control the direction your life took.
Memories were the most precious thing in the entire world to Toya. Good or bad, he didn't care, all memories were important to him. They showed his growth as a person, these bad memories would prove how far he had come when compared to that low point in his life. His longest, deepest, most pathetic memory was when he had regrettably told his partner that he would quit singing. He was trapped, chained, like a rabid dog. His father kept his heart locked away from it's true calling ass he fell into the never ending cycle of being forced to pursue a path that wasn't meant for him.
God. The look on his partners face broke his heart, he could see the hurt he had caused. The anger that came rushing out as Akito started yelling at him, his true feelings finally showing their ugly head. He had been the cause of this pain, it was because of him that his partner was acting out like this. Every single day since their fight and it's eventual reconciliation, the memory haunted him. Akito forgave him, he knew he did, he wouldn't have run all the way to the cafe in the pouring rain if he hadn't it.
In Akito's eyes, he was the only partner for him, he would refuse to sing with another. It, in a strange way, warmed his heart to know this. Knowing that where Toya didn't even have the ability to believe in himself, Akito believed in him. This was a memory, whilst painful, he didn't want to forget it. It showed his growth as a person he felt, finally having the courage to break free of the chains that bound him.
Forgetfulness is a common thing in humans, as one grows old, one is bound to forget those memories that were once precious to them. The brain is a powerful thing, but it is not all mighty. As people grow older, their brain weakens and those memories from years and years ago start to dissipate. It was something Toya was used to, he had a rather good memory, but if he were asked to recall a memory from when he was 4, he would not be able to do so.
These memories he's made with Akito are ones that he doesn't want to forget, EVER. No matter how old he may get. He fully believed that Akito was his soulmate, they were bound together by fate and would be by each others side for years to com, but— even knowing this. He still wanted a way of remembering these memories that were bound to crumble overtime. That's when an idea came to mind, he was fully aware that it may have seemed cliché to most, but it seemed perfect to him, and so he brought it up as their next video call.
It was 3 in the morning on August 7th 2022. It was summer break, and the call had been going on for upwards of around 6 hours already. Akito was currently complaining about something Ena had done that really pissed him off earlier. His complaints only earning a simple, 'mhm' or 'is that so?" from Toya. Toya was jotting something down in a notebook, as his pencil danced expertly across the paper.
His minimal words, lack of enthusiasm and focus , while they would probably upset anyone else, Akito was used to it. He liked the fact that Toya was a good listener. His dryness didn't mean he wasn't listening in the slightest, it usually meant that he wanted to show he was actually taking in what was being said. If needed, he would always share his input on a situation. Although, this time, something felt a bit off about the way Toya was replying. Maybe it was the slight change of octave in his voice, or the distracted and dejected look on his face, either way something was bothering him.
"OK dude. Spill." Akito finally said, earning a confused look from Toya at the sudden change of subject. "I know you better than anyone, and there is clearly something on your mind. Talk to me, what's going through that brain of yours. I can see the gears turning a mile a minute. I'm worried your head might explode."
"Ah." Toya said as he continued writing, he paused for a moment before saying. "Do you remember when we met?" he finally asked, putting down the pencil and staring in the phone. That question slightly caught Akito off guard, but there was only one answer for such a question as stupid as that one.
"Of course I do. You were preforming on vivid street, and I thought your voice was absolutely beautiful. I was looking for a partner to help me reach my dream, and I thought you would fill the position perfectly. I was proven right, of course." he replied, a smug look on his face.
"Right.. right. But I mean, do you remember the day we met?" Toya clarified, "Like the actual day."
Akito went silent, he couldn't say that he did, who would remember something like that? There were so many days in a year, and all of them eventually just ended up blurring together after a while. He shook his head, "Sorry, no. Why?"
"September 30th, 2018." he paused, looking down at the notebook in his lap. "That's when we met." he had a solemn smile on his face. "It's a day that I don't want to forget."
"You're scaring me Toya, why are you getting sentimental all of a sudden." Akito asked a small frown on his face as he tilted his head in confusion. "And what have you been writing down? You've been writing in that book the entire call, what could possible be that important?"
"You."
"Huh?"
"Well, more specifically our memories. Memories of Me, An, Kohane.. and especially You. That's how I know when we met, down to the day. I wrote it down." he said proudly as he held up the journal. "These are things I never want to forget, so I've started writing them down. I want to be able to look back at them 10 years from now with a big smile on my face."
Akito chuckled at his admittance, "I always knew you had a way with words, but— wow." he teased. "Mind reading me an except from it?" he asked, showing true genuine interest and curiosity.
"Sure. I don't see why not." he said as he flipped to a random page in his journal. Letting fate choose his page, there were some things in here that he would rather keep a secret. Things that were close to his heart, that he felt Akito had no business knowing. Still, if he landed on one of those pages, he would gladly read it to him because fate had drawn him towards it.
Luckily for him, fat didn't screw him over today, it had landed on a rather happy memory of his. He cleared his throat before he started reading what he had written down.
"June 30th, 2022… We did it, We actually did it. After years of training, years of failure, years of practice, we have managed the impossible. We have surpassed an absolute legend, creating a bigger event than rad weekend , itself. Everyone did amazing today, An sang beautifully, Kohane's voice really stole the crown and Akito.. Akito did as perfect as always. I helped him make his dream a reality, I did this for him and I'm so happy. No words could possibly describe just how much seeing that wide smile on his face meant to me. This meant the world to him, and we made it happen. I.. helped make it happen. This doesn't mean our work is done though, we may have surpassed a legend, but our next goal is the world. We are going to take the world by storm and truly create a name for ourselves. I'm excited for what;s to come next, I'm excited to see where our talents take us."
Toya smiled as he looked up from the paper, taking in Akito's stunned look. He chuckled at the boys speechlessness as he closed the notebook. "Well?" he asked.
"…wow," Was the only thing that Akito could even manage to say, he had truly underestimated just how well verse Toya was. It was written so beautifully, it felt like he had been transported back to that amazing night. The night all of his dreams had become a reality. "Toya, that's— wow." he paused for a moment before saying, "share another."
Toya followed the same pattern as before, opening to a random page in his notebook and letting fate choose which one he'd read. This one wasn't as happy a memory as the previous one. It had been a few days after he had helped Akito and An's dream become a reality.
"July 8th, 2022… I told my dad about what happened. I told him that we did it, that the turn out was amazing and people loved us. He was there, he told me that he saw the entire thing and then started to immediately critique the group.. my group. He pointed out that I seemed slightly out of sync with Akito, that my voice wasn't as stable as it should have been. He then started to critique my friends. He said that Kohane looked like a trap pig on stage, that An looked distracted… That Akitos voice was a terrible match for mine during our duet I don't care what he says about me, but he started to dig into my friends and that truly crossed the line. They all did amazing, I know they did amazing, everyone knows they did amazing and yet.. my father couldn't even be happy for me for one second? I said some hurtful things tonight, some things that I wish I could take back. Somehow, I ended up at the Shinonome's. Akito and Ena welcomed me with open arms, they asked what happened but I couldn't bring myself to tell them and settled on a simple. 'I just need a break from my dad for a while. They let me stay for as long as I wanted, It.. meant a lot."
At the end, Toya's voice had started to crack a little as the painful memory came back to him. The night he thought he would finally receive his dad's approval. The night he thought, just maybe, he would recognize him as his equal. Oh, how wrong he was.
"Toya…" Akito started, he wasn't expecting this, but it would make sense that Toya kept both the good and bad memories close to his heart. That's just who he was. "Is that why I found you in the kitchen at 2 AM that night?.. because you were writing that?" he asked. "You had immediately closed a notebook the moment I came down, so I assume it was that one?"
Toya's Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, and nodded in affirmation. "Yeah." That night, Akito had woken up due to the lack of warmth next to him. He had offered to share his bed with Toya, just like always, to which Toya graciously took him up on that offer. Although about 2 hours after they had both fallen asleep, he had felt slightly cooler than he had when they first settled into bed. This cool air had woken him up, as he noticed that Toya was gone.
At first he had assumed he had gone to the bathroom, but after about 10 minutes of waiting, he went to search for him. Eventually heading down the stairs and seeing Toya alone at the kitchen table, trembling body, and silent sniffles.
"Toya?" he had asked, the sleepiness evident in his voice. Akito didn't pry, he would never pry, but he did offer the clearly distraught boy comfort as he came up behind him and hugged him from behind, no words were spoken between the two that night. Just a mutual a understanding of what happened.
"I remember." Akito said as the memory started to fade and he came back to reality, it was a hard memory but one that grew their bond tenfold. "You really do have everything, written down in there, huh?" he asked teasingly, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.
Toya chuckled softly as he nodded, "yeah.. I do." he flipped through the journal, this time looking for a specific piece it seemed, smile brightening as he found it. "Going a little further back this time."
"March 23rd, 2022… Today at practice, it was just Akito & I. The girls had called out because An had asked Kohane had asked her to accompany her to the grand opening of this new exhibit at the art museum. She was excited, saying this would be her first ever date with Kohane and that she wouldn't miss this for the world. There was nothing important coming up, so we of course let them be and miss practice this time. We all deserve a break some time, right? Akito & I spent about an hour or so practicing our duet, before we finally took a break ourselves. With the lack of the girls, and the noticeable lack of vocaloids, we started talking, about things. About personal things, about feelings. The bond between An & Kohane had made us rethink our own relationship, and well,, let's just say, my first date with Akito is tomorrow. We're going to a carnival that's visiting town. He claims he's just going for the food, and didn't want to go alone, but I like to think that he wanted to go with me specifically. While I may not like the rides, I am truly fascinated by the performances at carnivals. First date with Akito.. I'm excited."
Akito's eyes widened slightly as blood rushed towards his ears, it shouldn't be embarrassing. It really shouldn't, they had been dating for about 6 months now, so things like these should no longer embarrass him, but— they did. "Ah—" Akito started, clearly speechless about the very personal excerpt in the journal, he was getting a sneak peak into Toya's inner thoughts. Toya was always such a stoic person, someone who was often seen as hard to read. They had been singing partners for 3 years, they knew each other better than anyone, and yet Akito still often wondered what truly went through Toya's head.
He was the type to be able to see even the slightest difference in his soft smile, the type to know exactly when a smile was fake. When Toya was faking a smile he did this little slight wrinkle with his eye brow as if he was trying to force the smile out. It was something most others would never notice, but was really noticeable to Akito. Even still, despite knowing him inside and out, he liked having the journals to look back on, so he could know what he was really thinking.
"What do you plan to do with all of those?" Akito finally asked the question he's been wondering since the beginning. Where did Toya plan to put these journals when their pages were all filled with contents? There had to be a certain place he put them, right?
"A time capsule." he stated. "I have this little unused chest that I want to put these in, then 10 years from now, I want to open it up again and read about all of our adventures. This is only the second journal, I don't write in it every single day, only on days where something memorable happens." he smiled down at the closed journal in his hand, the front of the journal was littered with little doodles of him and vivid bad squad, him and miku, and most importantly, him and Akito. It was clear that there was a lot of love put into this notebook.
"I see…" Akito mumbled softly, "Hey, can I come over real quick?" he asked swiftly.
"Huh? Why? It's like 4 AM." Toya stated, confused by Akito's sudden insistence on coming over at such a late hour. It's not like it mattered, his dad was out of town for a business trip so he was home alone. Still, it was late and as much as he wanted to see Akito, he didn't want him to feel forced to come visit him so late.
"I know, but I'll make it quick, OK?" Akito replied. Akito climbed out of bed, he grabbed his earbuds and put them in so that he could still hear Toya. "I'm putting you in my pocket, OK? So I'll be going a little dark right now." he put his phone into his pocket before grabbing his house keys and practically sprinting down the stairs.
His night owl of a sister was in the kitchen fixing herself a bowl of cereal, and she could barely get a word in edge wise as Akito swiftly stated. "I'm going to Toya's don't wait up." before running out the door. He could hear the mild complaints from Ena, but overall he didn't get a chance to fully hear what she said as he ran towards Toya's house.
He could hear the muffled chuckles coming from the other side of the phon, "Akito. I'll still be here when you arrive. You don't have to run." he teased, laughing about how Akito felt the need to run to him, it's not like he was going anywhere, but he gained no response to his statement as he heard the muffle sounds of breathing, and the a couple minutes later the echoed sound of a soft rat-tat-tat at his door.
Toya immediately opened the door, a clear indication that chances are Toya was waiting by the door for him to arrive. He smiled as he invited his partner in and ended their 7 hour long call finally. "Hm. Record time." he teased, "You made it here in just 8 minutes, last time it took you 15. OK, so what was so important that it couldn't wait for tomorrow?" he asked as they headed upstairs towards his room.
"Show me more of your journal." his words sounded more like a demand then him asking to be showed more, which caused Toya to chuckle at his words. At the realization of how rude he sounded, he followed it up with a quick. "Please?"
They made it up to Toya's room, where Akito immediately climbed onto the nice beautifully made bed, he took the time to take in his surroundings as he looked around the room. This wasn't his first time at Toya's house, he had been there plenty of times before, but every single time he felt the need to take in the beautiful scenery. His room was a far contrast from what Akito's was at home, it really was funny just how different the two were, and yet they still clicked together perfectly like puzzle pieces.
Toya let out a hum of acknowledgment as he grabbed the journal off his desk and took a seat next to Akito on the bed. Almost immediately, Akito wrapped his arms around Toya's waist and laid his chin on his shoulder as he watched him flip through the journal, looking for the perfect entry to read out loud.
"April 19th 2022.. I had my first kiss with Akito today, it was.. sickeningly sweet— but i would go through that sweet torture again and again a thousand times over if it meant I could kiss him as many times as I wanted. I could taste the remnants of deserts from dinner time on his mouth, I think he had… cheesecake? That's probably what I'm tasting, the taste is lingering in my mouth, but that's fine. I got to kiss Akito! That's what matters to me at the end of the day. You could tell that we were both cl;early novices and had never kissed anyone before, we struggled with figuring out how we should do it before eventually deciding to just 'wing it' as Akito so eloquently put it. It all worked out in the end, as he leaned up to kiss me. I never would expected he would make the first move, but I'm happy that he did. God. I'm so so so happy right now."
Toya smiled as he finished reading the entry and looked at Akito whose face was now buried into his shoulder. He let out a groan of soft embarrassment as he tried to calm his racing heart, he remembers that day just like it was yesterday. They had come a long way since then, while kissing one another was still slightly nerveracking, they had gotten better at it. It had gotten to the point where sometimes they would kiss just to kiss, Toya was usually the one to surprise him with a kiss these days.
"Akito. Look at me." he stated.
no response.
"Akito, please." he whispered, slipping a finger under his chin ss he tilted the boys head up. He could see the genuine feeling of sheer embarrassment covering his face. He chuckled at the redness of his partners face, "You have a little something… everywhere." he said softly as he leaned in and left a quick peck on his lips, which only caused Akito to groan more loudly.
"I regret coming over," he mumbled softly as he buried his face in Toya's shoulder again.
"No you don't"
"… you're right."
Comfortable silence engulfed the both of them, as they just sat enjoying each others presence. Toya let out a hum of contentment as he closed the journal and place it on the nightstand before turning towards Akito.
"Akito. All I want to do is to create more memories with you, I want our relationship to keep growing and blossoming. I want to fill out ten.. no.. a hundred journals of just our adventures together. These journals, they mean more to me than anything. Only rivaled by you, yourself. These are remnants of our time together, descriptions of the things we've gone through together. These journals.. they're us." he explained softly, a hint of a smile on his face as he thought about all he's written in those books.
He went silent for a moment before continuing, ".. would you like to write something?" he asked as he reached over and grabbed a blank journal out of his miniature bookcase, this time grabbing a pen out of the penholder as well. He clicked the top as he handed it to Akito, and placed the journal onto the gingers lap.
Akito was silent for a moment, hesitating for a moment before taking him up on the offer. He sat silently, staring at the blank page Toya had opened to, trying to figure out what to write. He wasn't as well-verse as Toya, nor did he have a way with words, actually he often struggled with what to say, but if Toya trusted him to do this. He would— and so he started writing.
"August 7th, 2022.. First entry of this journal, Today I found out that over the past 4 years Toya has been keeping track of all of our memories. Every time we did something, happy or sad, he's kept track of it. I shouldn't have expected any less from my partner. He's always been… like that for as long as I could remember. It's nice knowing that there will always be someone out there who remembers the things I don't. I— God. I love him so much."
Akito smiled as he finished his entry and handed the pen back to Toya, he was happy with his entry and honestly getting out his feelings felt better than he thought it would. He would assume he'd feel cringy or girlie doing so, but it didn't feel like that at all. It felt rather calming, actually.
"You're free to keep that by the way, I have like 20 journals." Toya stated as he put the pen away and turned towards Akito again, rereading the entry he had written and smiling softly. "Great first entry."
Akito grunted in agreement as he smiled down at his work, closing the journal. He wasn't sure how often he'd actually use this thing, but he had to admit. It was nice to have, and he knew where he might forget to write in it, Toya certainly wouldn't forget to write in his.
When together, they were experiencing the same exact things. However that didn't mean that they were feeling the exact same, they were completely different people. So it was nice being able to see two different sides of the same coin.
These were THEIR memories, the ones they made as a team, together.
They would always be important to them.