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Despite having “killed” whatever pockets of Aizen’s rebellion had remained, the Soul Society quickly learned that it didn’t exactly mean that the problem of Hollows (or even Arrancars) was actually solved in any meaningful way, just diminished.
Of course, the Soul Society was more than ready for them. If they could beat Ywach and the Sternritters, then they could easily tackle a bunch of disparate and uncoordinated Hollows, but it still was a constant of sorts in their lives.
On a regular basis, two or three Soul Reapers would be sent into the World of the Living to deal with any threats that arose in the time between their patrols. There wasn’t usually much rhyme or reason to who they sent, with the “jobs” being given to whoever was the first to accept.
With that level of freedom in how and when they engage in Hollow hunting, that does lead to…certain consequences.
“Does this skirt clash with my eyes?”
Rangiku Matsumoto, the stalwart Lieutenant of Division 10, had a certain Achilles heel that seemed to crop up whenever the prospect of traveling to the Human world came up; she loved shopping, and buying clothes even more so.
Usually she’d just drag Toshiro or Ikakku along with her as (unwilling) partners, but she had recently gotten into a pretty serious relationship with a certain Espada.
“Does it matter? Your beauty cannot be measured by such a minor alteration to your wardrobe, can it?”
“Heheh…you little horndog…you win, I’ll try it on.”
Ulquiorra didn’t respond to her playful remark. She found it amusing to call out the Cuatro Espada’s “flirting” since he tried to keep up a constant facade of indifference. As Rangiku turned to find a dressing room, Ulquiorra looked to his left, where a very confused shopkeeper was staring back at him.
“Are you…some sort of European?” The cashier asked rather bluntly, confused by Ulquiorra’s pallid skin and dour tone of voice. He didn’t answer the question, only looking back towards the walking Soul Reaper. While he wouldn’t usually be in such a place in *any* circumstances, his love for Rangiku overpowered his disgust with…well…most things. Sensing his eyes on her, Rangiku took a moment to blow an exaggerated kiss to the Espada before moving forward, who only lowered his gaze somewhat in response.
Until very recently, Rangiku had her hair noticeably shorter, almost to the level of being seen as a completely different person to those who didn’t know who she was. Personally speaking, Ulquiorra didn’t care if her hair was long or short all that much (surprise, surprise), but he did admit that each “variation” of her hair had their own unique style. The blonde even once tried to get *him* to try a shorter hair style, but he didn’t really like it.
“N-nice…scarf?” The cashier pointed at the pink cloth which was loosely wrapped around Ulquiorra’s neck. The fabric used to belong to Rangiku herself, where she used it as an accessory in her uniform. When her uniform was damaged after a battle, the blonde offered to make a “keepsake” for her pallid paramour, quickly sewing a portion of the shawl into a little scarf for him. It *did* help ground him when he was lost in his own mind, as the fabric still carried Rangiku’s very unique scent (which was a mix of perfume and shampoo, among other beauty products, on top of her “natural smell”). Despite his dismissive attitude towards things he saw as pointless, he was oddly attached to that pink scarf.
More pointless “small talk”. Ulquiorra forced down the part of him that would have simply blasted the guy to *bits* with his Cero, not because he actually cared about the fool or his safety, but he didn’t want to be the reason that Rangiku would surely get banned from that store, if not the whole shopping center.
“Yoo-hoo! Ulqie!” Rangiku’s voice immediately caught his attention, its chipper tone contrasting with the “hip” music the store was blaring over the loudspeakers. When he began walking, the cashier tried *again* to prod at him with some inane comment or another, but he might has well had never existed for all Ulquiorra cared.
At the entrance to the “ladies” changing room, Ulquiorra stood, obviously out of his element.
“Come on in, you big softie!” Rangiku’s voice came from behind a reddish curtain. It was readily apparent that the Espada had no experience with clothing stores (and why would he? He’s only been in the Human World for a few months tops).
“As you wish. One moment.”
Pushing the curtain aside, Ulquiorra was greeted with a sight that he certainly wasn’t expecting. Rangiku, who was originally wearing a cleavage-exposing dress, was now in a very firm looking sweater, which compressed her chest to a level that didn’t seem possible, and that same green skirt she was looking at before.
“So? Any thoughts, mister “Cuatro Espada”?”
“I have a few. I do approve of *this*.” Ulquiorra felt the material of the sweater, which seemed to be some form of wool based on how thick it felt in his hand.
“You “approve”?” Rangiku snorted at the comment, seeing at as the attempt at humor it was, despite the slightly derisive way he said it.
“Yes. Your body does do most of the work however. The clothes themselves are rather bland.”
“Good boy. C’mere.”
Rangiku leaned over and planted a kiss onto Ulquiorra’s lips, the embrace only spurred on by the glowing green orbs staring her down. When she leaned back, she heard a strange electronic “song” play from somewhere nearby…before realizing it was coming from her Soul Phone, which she had kept in her bra for “safekeeping”. Pulling the device out, she was met with the unimpressed stare of Captain Hitsugaya.
“Captain! Heeey!”
“Rangiku…weren’t you sent to deal with those Hollows?”
“Was I? Well I couldn’t find any monsters around, so I took Ulqie for a little shopping spree!”
“I can see that. Wait…did you let Ulquiorra into the *woman’s* changing area?!”
“He’s my *boyfriend* remember? it’s not like he hasn’t seen me undress on multiple occasions or anything…right Ulqie?”
“That statement isn’t…entirely false.” The Espada murmured, a bit embarrassed by being seemingly roped into another of Rangiku’s little stunts. For a person who saw herself as the “big sister” of the Soul Reapers, Rangiku seemed to like being as mischievous as possible.
“See?”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re flaking on your assignment.”
“Would you rather have me be in my “bossy workaholic” mode? I could always do that again!”
Toshiro seemed to relent somewhat at that statement, as he himself made the comment that he liked her better when she acted lazy, when compared to how “overbearing” she could be when she’s actually intent on finishing a task.
“F-Fine. I’ll see if any of the other Captains can cover for you…I won’t be so lenient next time okay?”
“Suuure you won’t. You’re the best, Captain!”
“I’m really gonna hear it from the others…goodbye.”
With a very pleased smile on her face, Rangiku placed the device back onto the chair next to her.
“Was that…Toshiro?”
“Yup, he’s just being a spoilsport as always, but I think I got through to him!”
She seemed so excited about something, but Ulquiorra couldn’t read her expression enough to even try and guess. Rangiku was almost *always* grinning from ear to ear, so it was up to her to divulge any specifics.
“I assume you have no intention of pursuing that Hollow?”
“Why would I bother with that same old boring stuff when I have this hunk of a man right here?”
Ulquiorra didn’t respond, as he saw right through the flirty remark for what it was. During the nascent stage of their relationship, Ulquiorra was somewhat put off by how provocative and vivacious Rangiku could be, mainly because his barometer for “social interaction” was mostly based around the other Espada’s specific behaviors.
“You may have *me* convinced, Matsumoto…but what of your captain?”
“Toshi? He’s harmless. Besides, all I need to do is bat my eyes and act a little cute, and he’ll forgive me *immediately*.” She seemed so confident of that statement, which worried Ulquiorra just a bit. Was the “fearsome” Captain Hitsugaya so easily swayed?
“We shall see, I suppose.”
“Ah don’t worry about the Soul Reaper stuff. How about we go find a nice place to relax for a while? My treat?”
“You don’t need to convince me. I am at your mercy, am I not?”
“You’re a quick learner, baby.”
The Espada would be blushing if he could, as even *he* wasn’t entirely immune to Rangiku’s attempts at seduction.
—-Some Time Later——-
Wandering the street for a while, Rangiku excitedly directed a blank-faced Ulquiorra into a cafe she seemed to like, presumably having been there before. Ordering some tea for the both of them, Rangiku claimed an outdoor table for her and her lover, with Ulquiorra simply staring down at the colorless beverage that was slid in front of him.
“Y’know baby…you’re not my first boyfriend, but you’re definitely the closest to a “real” boyfriend that I’ve had in *years*.”
“…Why are you telling me this? Do you have something on your mind?”
“Sorta. Well…remember how I said I could just “bat my eyes” to convince the captain?”
“Yes.”
“I’m no prude or anything, but it feels nice to have a man who isn’t constantly staring at my breasts or my butt. I’m not saying I’m *opposed* to having that kind of attention, but…you’re so much more polite about it.” It was strange to hear this from Rangiku. Usually she just did as she pleased, completely ignorant of what other people were saying or doing in response to her, but…hearing her speak her mind so bluntly was a good sign of how much she trusted the Espada.
“I see. So it is admissible to you when *I* am the one who is…enjoying your figure?”
“Yeah! I kind of feel…trapped by my physical…uhm…proportions from time to time. I *love* how I look, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t exactly like being seen as a slut or anything like that.”
“Who exactly speaks to you this way?”
“You don’t gotta worry about it. You’re my man, I’m your girlfriend, so we can stare at each other all we want.”
“Are you admitting to staring at me, Miss Matsumoto?”
“Have you seen yourself? You’re a total *stud*. A lotta girls would do *disgusting* things to a guy like you if they had the opportunity. I-“
“Hey hot stuff, you on your own?”
Rangiku’s train of thought was interrupted by a man coming up from behind her, seemingly attracted by how she looked.
“Heeey! No, I’m alright. I even have my *boyfriend* with me!” Rangiku jubilantly responded, seeing as she was always happy to be desired by others, even if she had no intention of reciprocating those feelings. The man adjusted the phone he was holding, putting an unrelated call on hold while he chatted up Rangiku.
“That guy?“
“Mhm. Say hello to the nice man, Ulqie~”
“Greetings. You may move along.” The Espada dismissively waved a hand, basically shooing the man like he was a misbehaving dog.
“And miss out on a total babe like that? Fat chance, pal. So dollface, you wanna grab a coffee or someth-“
Moving his hand lower down, Ulquiorra blasted a hole clean through the man’s phone with a fingertip-sized Cero Obscuras, destroying the device without causing any obvious injury to the phone’s holder.
“I believe I gave you an order. Move. Along.” The man leered towards Ulquiorra, who held an unblinking stare right back at him, placing his hand back around the cup of tea in front of him.
“Oooh, you’re pretty cute when you’re so *commanding*~!”
“Y-you just…*fuck this* man! I’m not dying for this!”
The man sped off as quickly as he showed up, running the opposite direction in order to minimize his chances of any *actual* harm from the Espada. Rangiku shot the Espada a mischievous smile.
“You really didn’t like that did you baby?”
“He was bothering you. I refuse to allow that.”
“Don’t worry about me so much, I’m a big girl…not like *that*, but I am.”
“I’m…sorry. I let my anger cloud my judgment.”
Rangiku leaned over the Table, her chest pressing against Ulquiorra’s own as she kissed him on his pallid lips. The contact caused a flood of warmth to shoot through the (otherwise cold) body of the Arrancar, just like it always did.
“You don’t gotta apologize for something like that. In fact…I like it when my man protects what’s “his”…makes me feel even prettier than I already am.”
“I…believe I see the methodology.”
“Grrgh! Get back here you little shit!”
A familiar gruff voice caused both of the two seated lovebirds to immediately crane their necks towards the nearby street, where a red headed boy was running down the block.
Following quickly behind was a very irritated looking Grimmjow, who stood out quite clearly due to his bright blue hair and visible chest scar. He was quite intensely trying to catch up with that child, being directed around the city by a certain small green haired girl on his shoulder.
“Oh! Is that Grim-“
“One moment.”
Using the special Sonido technique known only to Hollows, Ulquiorra phased out of view and back into sight within *moments*, appearing right in the path of the kid’s mindless sprint. Obviously not wanting to collide with the creepy looking man in the white overcoat.
“Stop.” Ulquiorra muttered, putting on his more intimidating tone of voice that he purposefully refused to use during his time with Rangiku. The kid, not sure what to think, did as he was told, allowing Grimmjow to easily catch up. Before he could grab the kid, Ulquiorra beat him to it and gently raised the kid into the air, looking him dead in the face, the child’s eyes innocently staring into his.
“Ulquiorra?! The hell ‘re you doing here?!”
“That is none of your business. Whose child is this?”
“Eh? That’s Ichigo’s brat. His old lady asked me to keep an eye on him while she and Ichigo were busy at some charity drive. I’m honestly kinda pissed that I let that redhead talk me into this…*and* you Nel.” Grimmjow turned to the green haired girl on his shoulder.
“Nel didn’t tell you to do *anything* you didn’t wanna do anyways! You can’t just pick on Nel because I’m small!”
“Ugh…why did you even go back to bein’ a kid?! You have that stupid bracelet don’t you?!”
Ulquiorra glanced at the child in his hands, who seemed to have this…odd sense of recognition in his eyes, not crying or screaming, just…looking.
“Ichigo’s child…”
“Ulqie! What happen-oh…phew, you have it sorted?”
Rangiku, her mind finally catching up to the rather sudden situation, managed to catch up to the group, watching as Ulquiorra silently watch the child’s every move.
“Yeah, the kid’s name is Kazui. Apparently he sees all of us, Arrancar and Shinigami, as his freakin’ aunts and uncles.”
“Aww! Hey there little Kazui! You’re such a little cutie!” Rangiku babbled incessantly, her already quite energetic personality combined with the joy of seeing a smiling child.
“You know this child?”
“Yeah of course I do! Kazui *loves* his auntie Rangiku, doesn’t he?”
The child cooed playfully at the buxom blonde, before looking back at Ulquiorra for what seemed to be approval of its actions.
“What do I…do with this creature?”
“It’s not a “creature”, babe, it’s a *child*. Y’know…reproduction and all that?”
“I understand the concept, yet I’ve never seen a *real* child before…Nel’s…bizarre form does not count I’d assume.”
“Nel’s not really a child! Nel is aaaall grown up!” Nel seemed indignant to the idea that her “child” form actually changed how mature she actually was, but Ulquiorra didn’t respond.
“Look, I gotta bring that little stinker back to his house ‘fore Ichigo gets back from that stuffed-shirt B.S he was dealing with…so just…gimme the kid.”
“No.”
“W-what?”
“I will bring the child home. If this child is truly Ichigo’s…then I would assume its mother is…Orihime.”
“Uh…the ginger girl? Yeah.”
“Lead me to their home.”
“Nel is great at directions! Nel can do it!” Nel waved her arm wildly, almost falling off of Grimmjow’s shoulder in the process.
“Watch it will ya? I ain’t gonna be blamed for you being a klutz!”
———————
Around fifteen mintues from their chance encounter, Ulquiorra, Nel and Grimmjow had found their way back to the Kurosaki residence.
“Uh…that ain’t good…” Grimmjow froze in his tracks for a moment, causing everyone else to look at him.
“What?”
“That car’s Ichigo’s ride. Means he’s probably home now…crap.”
Instead of worrying or trying to hide, Ulquiorra simply floated over to the door, holding Kazui in his arms with a level of care that one wouldn’t expect from an Arrancar of his status.
Raising an arm, Ulquiorra gently tapped against the door with his fist, not sure of how to get the attention of the home’s occupants in a way that would be more efficient. Within moments, the short haired visage of Ichigo himself appeared as the door swung open.
“Y-yeah? Where’s the fi-ULQUIORRA?!?”
“Ichigo. I believe this is your spawn?”
“D-Dad!” Kazui cheered, his grasp on Japanese still kind of iffy (he was still a pretty young kid after all).
“Where the hell did you find my son?!”
“Grimmjow had lost sight of him. If it weren’t for my intervention, your child may have been chased across half of the prefecture.”
“Knowing Kazui? Probably, that kid’s a *machine*. I…uh…didn’t expect to ever see you again, either…”
Ichigo felt pretty awkward in this moment. Here he was having a plain, almost blasée conversation with the same Arrancar who had nearly killed him during their last interaction, yet it didn’t seem like he was after revenge or anything, simply doing a genuinely good deed.
“Because I died? I know. It seems not even death is a respite for my kind…”
“Ichi! Where did I leave my-*Kazui?!*” Orihime was looking for something behind Ichigo, but her attention was immediately focused on the small boy held in Ulquiorra’s grasp.
“Ori?”Ichigo practically jumped out of his skin, both due to the sudden appearance of his wife, and the return of one of his *many* enemies.
“H-huh? Ulquiorra?! You’re alive?!” Orihime seemed just as surprised to see Ulquiorra as Ichigo was, if not even more so. The Espada’s “last words” were even directed at her, before he faded into dust right before her eyes. She seemed like she thought she was simply hallucinating, experiencing some form of PTSD from her imprisonment in Hueco Mundo.
“I am.”
Hurriedly, Orihime ran ahead and took Kazui from Ulquiorra, who didn’t resist as the child was taken from his grasp. As Orihime looked at the Espada, Rangiku made her way up the road to Ichigo’s home.
“Sorry for any inconvenience, guys…Grimmjow here said-“
“Hey Rangiku…*wait*! Why are you just hanging out with Ulquiorra?!” The poor “Mister Kurosaki” almost fell over from sheer confusion as the blonde stepped into the doorway like nothing was even wrong.
“What do you mean?”
“Is this some kinda trap?! I’m not gonna fall for that stuff!”
“Hoooh boy…”
——One Very Labored Explanation Later——
Sitting on his couch, surrounded by the group that just appeared outside his home, Ichigo was processing all of the information he was given from each party. From Grimmjow’s “accidental” misplacement of his son to Rangiku’s new relationship with the Cuatro Espada.
“So…those “rumors” ‘bout Captain Hitsugaya and Tier weren’t rumors after all, were they?”
“Nope.”
“Freakin’…man, now I know why he got so cross at me when I asked him about it.”
Ulquiorra was the only person who wasn’t seated, instead choosing to creepily stand behind Rangiku, who had used the extra space on the couch to lazily drape herself over the seat like a sculpture.
“So…Rangiku…Ulquiorra hasn’t done any weird stuff right? No…mind control or something?”
“I’m kind of offended that you think so little of me that you’d assume I had to be *brainwashed* to find him attractive…”
“That’s not what I meant! It’s just…I got some personal hangups when it comes to trusting people who tried to straight up *murder* me in the past. Hell, I’m still kind of on the fence about having Grimmjow near my family as often as he is, but Ori eventually talked me into making him Kazui’s “godfather”.”
“You look so pretty, Rangiku! Did you grow your hair out again?”
“Mhm! I felt like I needed to go back to basics y’know? Besides, Ulquiorra said he likes my hair no matter the length, so I went with my gut.”
“You needn’t ask me to decide on matters concerning your appearance. I shall cherish you no matter the form you take.”
“That was…weirdly cute comin’ from a guy like you, Ulquiorra…” Ichigo glowered, a bit put off by seeing one of his old Soul Reaper allies in a (seemingly) committed relationship with an Arrancar of all people (hell, he had assumed she was already dating someone else before he sort of…distanced himself from the Soul Society).
“I don’t need you to approve of my actions, Kurosaki. What I feel for Rangiku is entirely of my own choice, not to earn your respect.”
“Yeah…I guess I can understand that.”
“Wait…so you and Ulquiorra are *actually* a thing?”
“Mhm! He’s very well behaved isnt he?” Rangiku beamed with pride at getting to flaunt her relationship, especially with a “stud” like the Espada.
“I guess I never imagined him as the “dating” sort of guy…he always had a lot on his mind…”
“Oh he’s such a sweetheart! Underneath the grim voice and…sorta demonic eyes, he’s such a loving man~.”
Ulquiorra, for his part, wasn’t too concerned with any validation from others, but he did enjoy hearing Rangiku giving him such glowing praise. Plus, this was the first time he’d seen Orihime in person since his “demise”.
“Ulquiorra…I…I’m sorry for not saving you…back in Los Noches…”
“Your healing power would have had no effect, im afraid. My battle with Ichigo destroyed most my vital organs, not to mention how I had lost an arm…but…now that I’m here…facing both of you…I cannot find it in me to even desire to seek revenge, or to cause harm to any of you.”
Ulquiorra seemed almost *disturbed* by that revelation, only realizing how much he’d changed after being resurrected at this exact moment. The Ulquiorra of old would have simply slaughtered every man, woman and child he’d come across. But those words of Ichigo’s shot through him.
“-Is it because I’m becoming more like a Hollow…or are you becoming more human?”
While the words were purposely spoken to try and rattle him during their battle, he hadn’t truly put much stock into those words for some time. Here he was, standing before the man who killed him, and the woman who he’d kidnapped as part of Aizen’s schemes…and he felt nothing towards them. No sadness, no anger…not even pity.
From the perspective of the others in the room, Ulquiorra was staring into space, his eyes visibly trembling as if he was *seriously* contemplating something.
“Ulqie? You feeling okay?”
That voice. It wasn’t Orihime…it wasn’t Aizen…was it Rangiku? Her voice, low and melodic, caused him to snap out of his self-imposed mental spiral. Without even a word to explain himself, he simply looked down at the reclining blonde.
“Yes. I am…fine.”
“Well…you know you can talk to me about whatever’s going on in that brain of yours, right?”
“Yes. That will not be necessary, I assure you.”
“C’mere.”
Lowering his head, Ulquiorra let the buxom blonde stroke a gentle hand over his cheek. He felt…at peace, if such a thing was even possible for an Espada. When Rangiku felt like she’d done all she could, she kissed him as he returned to his usual stance.
Was this what Ichigo was fighting so hard to achieve? This little slice of peace, where all the problems of the world didn’t matter, even if just for a moment longer? It should be preposterous to even consider that idea, but…Ulquiorra wasn’t convinced that *anything* was truly so black and white.
There is no such thing as an unbreakable peace. Even if his very presence wasn’t a hazard to others, there would come those who sought power, wealth or control over others, even if it meant death and chaos would be the new normal.
If being at peace made him feel…like this, he would fight to defend it. Even if not for the benefit of Ichigo or the others, then purely just for his own peace of mind. While it may be vain of him to say this, now that he has experienced some level of happiness, he refused to let himself backslide to the “old” Ulquiorra.
“Hey, Ulquiorra, how about next time you come around, we can spar a little? See if either of us has gotten rusty over the years?” Ichigo looked up to the Espada, who was still looming over Rangiku like a gargoyle.
“I accept your request. I too am…curious if I can still make use of all of my abilities in this…”new” body.”
“Aww, look at you two getting along…in your own strange way, of course.” Rangiku cooed at Ulquiorra, internally satisfied to see him opening up towards people who weren’t either Rangiku or her understudies. The Espada didn’t rise to her little playful jab.
Would he ever truly understand humanity, or even his own ever-shifting mind? No. It was almost certain that he’d be vexed by this new world he stumbled into post-revival for the rest of his existence
But it wasn’t a *bad* thing. Not by a long shot. In fact…he kind of preferred it this way.
“Y’know…maybe we shouldn’t let Grimmjow babysit…” Orihime seemed to come to some form of conclusion of her own, thinking on how close her son was to being in harms way all because Grimmjow had a momentary lapse in judgement.
“Yeah, I’m kinda surprised you agreed to that, honestly. He’s crazy even by Arrancar standards…”