Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Saebyeok never really knew what to expect when she got to the south, since it had always been a mirage to her, like a shimmering promise without shape or detail. Life before that was nothing but tunnel vision, constantly on edge, doing whatever it took to escape North Korea—a mission her family had all accepted, knowing there was no turning back. Now, with her father’s body resting somewhere at the bottom of the Yalu river and her mother’s whereabouts unbeknownst to anyone after being taken away by Chinese authorities, Kang Saebyeok was left to care for her little brother in a whole new world outside the borders.

And this new place doesn’t exactly reward the sacrifices they made to get there.

Every day feels like running a marathon just to make ends meet, to scrape together the next meal, to keep herself and Cheol from ending up rotting on the streets like dogs. Saebyeok had to make the painful decision of leaving her brother to an orphanage, knowing they’d take care of him way better than she can as of now. Every time she drops by and visits, she would always promise that she’d come back… though the promise still hangs heavy, as she has yet to fulfill it.

But even with this humble blessing of her brother in a safe place, an opportunity to pursue other things, Saebyeok barely gets by to even support herself— with the weight of survival always pushing her into situations she never imagined. As if work wasn’t already a very scarce commodity, the cold stares and whispers that came her way whenever she’s revealed as a defector cornered her into jobs that paid too little and demanded more than she could give. Caught in this endless cycle of chasing something just out of reach, she learned to move quietly in the shadows. Running errands for questionable people, pickpocketing strangers—She usually targeted places like off-track betting facilities, where people flaunted their winnings, carelessly stuffing money into their pockets without a second thought. It was there that she could slip in, quietly snatch what she needed, and vanish before anyone even realized she was around. Each desperate, but deliberate choice reminded her that life outside North Korea was no gentler. But there was no other option. Survival of the fittest, as they say. 

With this non-stop grind that she can’t afford to slack off on, Saebyeok collapses on her cheap mattress every silent night that goes by as exhaustion pulls on her like an anchor. She always succumbs to the deepest, most numbing sleeps that always feel so heavy, yet always too short to really drive away the dread that eats her alive. And every time she drifted into that fragile state, the same dream returned.

– 

Every time, Saebyeok found herself sitting on a mini staircase tucked in a high corner in the room, where she could oversee everything: an  isolated room that had walls that glowed a deep, unsettling red beneath a painted sunset sky with prop-like paths, houses, and plants that imitated a small Korean neighborhood. The strange thing was that scattered throughout this surreal space were people dressed in green tracksuits, each marked with  3-digit numbers over their heart. They moved in pairs, quietly playing games with small, shimmering marbles. Each pair played a different type of game– some playing the simple Odd or Even game, some competed in who can throw the most marbles in a self-dug hole, and some even created their own game for themselves. 

“Hey,” a voice from behind called out quietly to her. “Aside from your family, what else would you wanna spend the money on?” 

She turned her head quickly. There sat a young woman perched two steps higher, her black hair streaked with brown and orange highlights, damp and sticking to the sides of her face from the room’s humidity.. She tilted her head, her cat-like eyes staring in curiosity waiting for her to answer. 

Money? What money? Saebyeok didn’t even know what she was talking about, where  they were, or who she was even talking to. But strangely, the words came to her naturally. 

“I’d like to go to Jeju Island.” 

The woman sat up, looking up at the fake sunset the walls and ceiling masqueraded itself as. A warm smile slowly appeared on her face, like she was living out a daydream in her head. 

“Once we get out of here, we should go there. I’ll teach you how people here in the South spend their money! We’ll have a girls' night out and make mojitos and everything.”

There was something about how the woman said it, like the trip was a dying wish—-something she wasn’t sure she’d ever reach. Saebyeok didn’t know who this woman was, or what this strange place even meant, but the weight behind those words felt like something she didn’t fully understand, something important she wasn’t meant to grasp just yet. 

— 

Like a snap of a finger, the dream would end just like that, and the cycle of her daily life repeats. 

Chapter Text

Saebyeok never thought she’d see the ocean in a good way again. 

Not like this,  not with the salty wind tugging at her clothes, the soft crash of waves against the shore that reached her feet, and the sun dipping low over Jeju Island’s horizon, painting everything in a tired, golden light. Like the painted walls in her dream. 

It was very unlikely for her to act on impulse without thinking things straight, but here she was, taking a breather for once on a popular vacation spot that was an hour away from the city. With the help of a few extra favors she indulged in a few extra pockets she stole from, she was able to gather enough funds for an affordable ferry that went straight to Jeju. 

This was reckless. Stupid even. She didn’t really have any business here or any specific agenda to follow. It’s not like she could completely relax and splurge either, with the island’s overpriced food stalls and shops. The mysterious woman’s voice had her moving like in a trance, as one day she just packed her bag and went.

“What the hell am I doing?” she thought to herself with a frown, looking at the endless view of the very real sunset and ocean. 

She crouched down and let the waves lick at her fingertips. It was warmer than she expected. Back in the North, the waters of the oceans were freezing cold, a constant reminder of the life everyone she knew sacrificed everything to escape from. For freedom. 

Freedom? What a joke. She was still trapped, still scraping by, still so far from the life she’d imagined when she first crossed the river. But for this one moment, with the waves murmuring in a language she almost understood, she let herself pretend and savor this moment.

A distant cheer pulled her from her thoughts. Behind, a group of tourists clinked glasses at a bar, their laughter bright and careless. Saebyeok’s fingers twitched. Such easy targets, but she stopped herself from going to them. Not today, not now.

Instead, she wandered further in the shore to the opposite direction, where the crowds thinned and the lights from the boardwalk faded. The dream clung to her like a second shadow, The woman’s voice echoing in her head.

"We’ll have a girls' night out and make mojitos and everything."  

Was she losing it? Had hunger and exhaustion finally worn her down to hallucinations? Or was there something else—something she couldn’t explain—threading her life to a stranger’s? Or had something unexplainable been at work, tying her to a woman she’d never met?

(at least, not in this life?) 

A flicker of movement caught her eye.

Near the edge of the tide, a figure sat alone on the sand, their silhouette backlit by the dying sun.

Saebyeok squinted.

She must’ve been staring for so long as the figure slowly turned to face her, and she couldn’t believe her eyes. There the woman stood, with a face Saebyeok has seen too many times. Her hair was the same black streaked with brown and orange highlights, swaying as the wind blew in their direction in the sunset. She tilted her head, her cat-like eyes staring in curiosity. 

"Yah,” The woman called out,  “What’re you staring at? Never seen a girl enjoy a sunset before?” Her voice carried that same teasing lilt from Saebyeok's dreams.

"You—" Saebyeok barely trusted her own voice. "I know you."

The woman raised an eyebrow, a huff of amusement escaping her lips. 

“Yeah, I was just about to say the same thing.” She gestures to herself 

“Jiyeong. Have any idea where we met?” 

“I.. I don’t know.”

"Huh." Jiyeong  scooped up a handful of sand, let it trickle between her fingers. " Funny. I think you’re the one I’ve been dreaming about, you know. "

The waves hushed. Somewhere, a gull cried. Saebyeok forgot how to breathe.

"What... did you dream of?"

Jiyeong's eyes crinkled at the corners.

"Enough to know I owe you a mojito. "