Chapter Text
Everything was alright. The late night philosophies, silly banters, those midnight escapades to the greasy food stalls, beating each other's asses over the video games, drooling over girls and crying over future and assignments together...!
This and many more things that they did were just right, together just like two best friends should. It was right, right?
Then when and where did Taehyung go wrong? Why did he wake up one day to find Jimin gone? To find that the very existence of his one and only best friend had vanished into thin air overnight while he was asleep and dreaming of exploring some weird universe with his favourite Chim Chim!
ChimChim... A pet name that Jimin disliked, or so he pretended, Taehyung is sure on the latter.
'Was' sure...
He was blocked from all of Jimin's social media platform out of the blue. All the accounts had turned private. All of Taehyung's numbers were blocked. There was no way he could reach the guy over internet or calls.
He had almost panicked, but then, a thought had kept him from a full on breakdown that maybe, Jimin's phone was stolen? Hacked maybe?
Yeah, that maybe it.
Jimin wouldn't just drop out of his college in the middle of nowhere for nothing, right? The thought alone was extremely absurd.
Taehyung was just overreacting.
And so, he had rushed to Jimin's studio apartment on the other side of the city at 6 in the morning, only to find it locked. He had knocked almost every door like a fucking maniac to receive early morning grumpy snarls and sneers on his face. But nothing about the whereabouts of their neighbour with blonde hair and a non judgemental heart.
Where did his best friend go?
Where did Jimin go?
One could possibly read the devastation and lost expression on the boy's face.
A good old lady had given him the landlord's number and when he heard what the man on the other end had informed him, it was like a blow on his face that he was gone.
Jimin was gone from his life.
For what reasons? He doesn't know.
Why wasn't there any explanation? He doesn't know.
Did Jimin even consider him as important of a friend as Taehyung did? He doesn't know.
Will he ever come back? He doesn't fucking know...
And just like that, eight years had passed.
The once optimistic and always smiling Taehyung with lanky limbs and nest for hair was now a gorgeous man with a fit body and neatly slicked back hair, exposing his flawless forehead.
Currently walking down the concrete path leading to his apartment, Taehyung's mind once again entered the forbidden waters of reminiscing the past, which was more like a ritual at this point.
His best friend used to come visit him in the evening, waiting by the college gate for Taehyung's classes to end and then they would walk away giggling over something silly or complaining about life in general until they reached the–
"Excuse me?" A voice sounded near him. Or was he hallucinating? Taehyung very unwillingly yet politely brought himself back from his broken memoire of a headspace and looked over to his right, from where he had supposed the voice came.
Oh, someone actually did call him and he wasn't hallucinating!
"Yes?" The girl looked no more than fifteen, still probably in high school or something. She had pretty blue eyes, a rarity in his country, so Taehyung was a little amused and maybe he had stared for a little too long and too deep because now the girl was visibly squirming and contemplating whether to go with her plan of asking or simply make a run for her dear dignity and life.
Shit!
"I- I'm sorry. Yes, Miss. How can I help you?" Taehyung said in the most friendly tone he could muster, after taking a couple of steps away just to not further cause the girl any discomfort.
She cleared her throat and asked, "Do you know where is Green Space Housing Society?"
Taehyung narrowed his eyes a little and the girl seemed to have understood his implication because her next words were, "I did check on the maps, Sir. But the roads were blocked due to construction and I'm kind of new here so I didn't know. Please..."
"I'm walking down to the same destination. You can join me." He offered with a smile which faltered as soon as it had bloomed after watching a look of unease pass over her rare, blue eyes.
Get over the fucking eyes, Taehyung!
"If only you wish. I can simply give you the directions if that's what you want. It's just, it's late into the evening and the route is kinda less visited than the main road." He provided immediately, standing there a little flustered at his attempts of damage control.
He really didn't mean to offend her the first time. He's gonna cry about it later at home.
"Uh, okay. Thankyou." She gave a tight smile before falling in steps with him, dragging her trolley bag behind her.
The sound of wheels dragging over the smalls pebbles went straight to Taehyung's head, giving rise to a tiny headache. He already had a god awfully loud day at work today going through the song recording.
So, did he finally manage to be a playback singer?
"Hah" Taehyung almost snorted at his ridiculous train of thoughts but thankfully it was low enough to not scare off the poor girl.
He did get into his favourite field of music industry, but not as a singer. As a recording engineer. Somehow, he always knew, he wasn't that great of a singer anyway. It was just that, during his college years he was too motivated by his best friend's praises.
Silly, yeah. But who wouldn't be swooned over by some sincere praises? No? Okay.
And maybe those weren't as sincere as you thought it to be, his brain provided uselessly, making Taehyung halt in his steps for a quick seconds, before resuming just as quickly.
He hated this. Hated himself for still thinking. Hated himself for still not hating the person who left him stranded on a busy road of life, enough. And the most he hated about himself was a particular constant burn in his heart, that resembled something similar to hope.
Fuck this, seriously. He isn't coming back. It was just another friend who left you. Like everyone before him and after him. Why do you still have to revisit a past of eight fucking years!? Get over!
Taehyung was having a full on aggressive conversation with himself when they finally reached Green Space, his home since past three years.
"This is your destination, Miss. I apologise if I made you uncomfortable before. I'll take my leave now." He said, helping the girl with her suitcase over the lounge's entrance stairs.
"It's okay. And thankyou so much, Sir." For the first time in the night, she genuinely smiled and Taehyung almost forgot to breathe.
No. Don't get him wrong. He wasn't being a freak. It's just...
"Uh, sure. I'll just go now. Bye!" He mumbled almost in daze as he dashed to catch the elevator going upwards, not even turning around when he heard the girl calling him out.
Who the fuck was she?
And why did her smile resemble his ex best friend's?
______
"Are you, by any chance, stalking me, Miss?" Taehyung eyed the girl with an accusatory gaze as he stood by his door with a bag containing eggs, bread and milk, hanging by his wrist. He had gone for a lazy morning walk which he wasn't very fond of but it was Sunday and he had a lot of time to spare.
On his way back, he had spotted the girl from the previous night, standing by her door— which by the way was right across his own, casually dressed in a t-shirt that swallowed her whole and a pair of peach coloured pajama pants, probably waiting for someone. She had immediately recognised him and stood straighter, alert, if he may say.
Oh, he hates himself.
"I live here, Sir." She provided, looking dead into his eyes.
Oh— that was not at all a coincidence!
"Alone?"
Jesus fucking Christ, Taehyung, what the hell?
"What do you mean?" Her eyes widened.
"I'm sorry. I didn't– ughhh. I mean it's an expensive place. You live here with someone? Your parents?" He was being too invasive. But he just felt like asking. Something about the girl reminded him so much of the person he had tried to forget. And he was generally curious.
"No. I'm starting my internship as an audio engineer in the city. So my brother had rented this place for me. He's coming over too for a few days."
Makes sense, he nodded in acknowledgement. She wasn't as much of a high school kid as he had thought.
Yeah. No shit, Sherlock!
"That's good. If you need any help with that, do find me. I'm a recording engineer myself, in the BH Entertainment. You c–" And she squealed so loud, Taehyung almost flinched back a few steps in horror. He was just trying be friendly– he thought with a mental pout.
"I'm joining the same company, Sir. Oh my God. I'll need all the help you can provide. Thankyou so much." Her face was lit up like the rising sun after a heavy downpour. So bright and happy, Taehyung almost squinted. But the limelight was stolen by that gorgeous smile that made her eyes go crescent moon shaped, just like...
"It's Kim Taehyung, my name." He smiled amicably. And for some reasons, he noticed her smile fade a little.
Did he say something wrong?
Eventually, she was normal and chirping yet again and introduced herself to be Park Junhi. And Taehyung's head almost reeled with the urge to ask if she knew a certain Park, but he decided, creeping out the same person again and again wasn't a very healthy practice.
Plus, half the country's population is a Park, Sherlock!
They had a good conversation over their professional details and only when the girl's phone began to ring, did they both part to go their respective ways. Taehyung didn't mean to eavesdrop but from what the girl was saying over the phone before disappearing into her house, he sure found out that someone was coming over and was currently standing in the parking lot.
There was this sudden rise of unease in his stomach at the non existent possibility because Ji– he didn't have a sister as far as Taehyung knew. He only ever talked about his younger brother. Maybe, even that, was a lie. Who knows! Taehyung's lips distorted into a mocking laugh, as he shuffled his bag's contents out on the kitchen counter.
______
Coming home drunk was one thing.
Coming home wasted with no sense of clear vision as well as a massive cut on head was another.
"Fuck this. Fuck them. Fuck you all. May y'all rot in hell and get thrown into a pot of cheap boiling wine for your souls to be a gooey mess. Fuck you!" And he cursed endlessly with a lot of gross graphic details all throughout the corridor leading to his apartment. Only until he stumbled into someone, or rather, a man in red night suit with three of his soft silky shirt buttons undone.
Very precise of you, Mr. Kim!
Nevermind him.
So, long story short, he went on a date.
With who?
A tinder match.
In a shitty bar?
What? No. In a classy restaurant.
Ever since his college days, or even school days, he was really popular among girls for his god gifted good looks. But that's it. It ended just there. He might have been blessed with a good looking face but he was equally cursed with an eccentric mind.
And as expected, it didn't sit well with people when he talked about anatomic dissection with great enthusiasm and photographic details or when he proposed his controversial theories about some outdated anime series.
The only person who ever put up with his weird ass was... Let's not go there. Baby is currently drunk and sensitive.
What baby?
Me. Taehyung. Baby.
*Wheezes*
So, getting back to the short story, he was impressed by the girl's modest nature and less dramatic ass. She even had a weird taste similar to him. He was finally starting to believe that he had found the one with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life. When he had asked if he could drop her home, she had said, "Let's take a stroll in the park nearby. It's a nice evening afterall." Taehyung was delighted. She loved evening walks too. But the delight didn't last long. When they were near a secluded unlit corner and he thought they were about to kiss, a big burly man had jumped on him from the bushes and this 'happily ever after' girl had hit him on the head with a stone lying nearby, knocking him unconscious.
He woke up late in the night and headed straight to a shitty bar.
Yeah. He did go to one.
After getting deadass hammered on bitter booze and his forever existing loneliness, he had decided it was time to sneak away without having to pay because his watch, phone, wallet, chain and every other shiny looking belongings were extorted out of him. He wondered how they left his eyes.
What a narcissistic bastard!
So as you could assume, he did manage to sneak away and now was bent over someone's toilet seat, wretching his gut out.
"I hate everyone– Ughh... Oh god..." And there came another blob of watery mess going straight down the sewer as the– red night suit guy with three buttons open— caressed his back carefully. And the last thing he remembered was a hand wrapping around his waist as he literally fell into unconsciousness, on his way to the bedroom.
_______
"Jesus, you look as if a truck ran over you and then the driver put you together to escape trials." Yoongi, the in-house producer of BH entertainment quipped in passing as Taehyung settled on the lounge sofa to have his morning dose of the hottest coffee.
"Shut-up, Hyungie. I had the worst day yesterday." He massaged his head pitifully, already wanting to go home and die on his bed.
Everything on one side, and not remembering the red night suit guy wi– yeah okay, whatever. Not remembering that guy's face was on the other side.
Mind you, not a lot of men caught his attention. So, his bisexuality was going kinda hetero for most part of his five years of realisation.
Yoongi glared at him from the coffee machine but didn't say more. Taehyung was rarely throwing a fit to him, so it must really have been a bad day. He took two servings of coffee and slid one discreetly in front of Taehyung's table while he rested his head on the headrest with his eyes closed.
Yoongi's eyes stayed over the band-aid plastered over the guy's right brow as he furrowed his own but he was quick to rush past him when he saw Taehyung's eyes flutter open.
"Awwww Hyungie, I know you love me the most. Thankyou!" He cooed intentionally at the producer's back for the coffee, to which he was replied with a middle finger and "Fuck off, pest."
"No offence taken, Hyungie!" Taehyung laughed loudly watching the tiny, talented but the very grumpy guy bump into all sorts of furnitures as he made way to his office and shut the door with a loud bang.
This Min Yoongi Hyung of Taehyung was a non expressive human being with lots of love in his heart to give. So he did these sorts of secret Santa stuff to avoid getting affection to deal with, in return.
And Taehyung did just that, return the affection ten-fold, that too in the most obvious way, making the guy flustered at more than one occasions. It was fun. And the only non professional interaction to exist in his life, apart from his parents and siblings. And occasional petting of animals on his way to and from office.
His parents lived an hour's drive away from his apartment in the same city. But he wasn't that frequently visiting them. So there was that.
"Excuse me Sir, there's a parcel for you." One of the staff knocked the door of the lounge and peeked his head inside to relay the information to which Taehyung nodded and got up after finishing his coffee. He felt a little dizzy from the hangover, but definitely better than what he was feeling before his caffeine.
The parcel was his new phone and a replacement sim. He had managed to factory reset his old device over the internet this morning and had done the necessary to block his bank card and sim until he gets a new one.
What an extra load of work!
Getting his phone ready and started, the first thing he did was send his Yoongi Hyung a goodmorning kiss text. He hated it. So Taehyung sent it. Everyday without a fail.
"You really must have saved me from being eaten by a shark in the past life to still be alive. Because the amount of times I feel this murderous rage, you would be dead by now if it wasn't illegal, Pest!" Right then, Yoongi walked into Taehyung's office, holding his phone and glaring.
The latter only giggled like a child.
Masochistic pleasures. See, weird kinks!
"Get the recording room ready. We have a single to record." Taehyung nodded and noticed the producer was contemplating over saying more, so he tried to coax it out of him until he finally asked, "How did you manage to get hurt?"
What?
"W-what?"
Taehyung looked on with confusion written all over his face, because the tone which Yoongi used was so rich with vulnerability and delicate care, he almost thought the Hyung asked him to bare his heart about all the times he was hurting.
And oh, lord help Taehyung, he would have done just that if it wasn't for his deep rooted trust issues.
Yoongi must have noticed his inner turmoil visible on his face because he immediately cleared his throat and asked rather plainly this time, ears turning red with embarassment.
"I mean, the band-aid on your head, you know?"
Then it clicked. "Ah that, I just hit my head with the bathroom door after being drunk and clumsy. Nothing to worry about." Ofcourse he wasn't going to tell about his unfortunate tinder date.
It was pathetic to even recall.
How do you land in such questionable messes, Taehyung?
"Oh." Was all Yoongi said before taking his leave. Taehyung too left soon after, to get the microphones, soundboard and other equipments ready and running.
He was sat on his swivel chair, head submersed in the slider buttons in front of him while waiting for the artist or whoever the client was, to come by.
The day was fairly fine and he was feeling good. Except for his curiosity about the red-wear guy. But it was still a good day. And he totally wasn't expecting his Hyungie to stumble on a contract with this very person out of billions of people on the planet.
Taehyung didn't expect to hear his best– Park Jimin's voice behind his back, conversing with Yoongi.
Mistake!
Many people can have that voice.
But you'll still know which one is his— damn the woke brain AI.
He dared not turn his head to confirm his suspicions which were about 80% confirmed from the giggle that boomed across the recording centre. To his delight or disappointment, he didn't know which one, but the 80% Park Jimin himself walked up to extend his hand for a courtesy handshake beside his hidden and presumably shocked side profile.
"Hi, I'm Park Jimin. Nice to meet you."
After a beat of silence, when Taehyung still refused to budge, Yoongi cleared his throat not very subtly for him to take the cue and do the necessary. And he did.
He did look into Park Jimin's eyes. He did slide his own palm against Jimin's extended ones. He even dared to give his signature smile as he introduced himself to be Kim Taehyung, one of the house's Recording Engineer and he'll be leading him from now on for his recording sessions.
Now it was Jimin's turn to resemble a statue and stare with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.
Jimin was looking at the person he had left without an explanation or intimation and only question marks, eight years ago. And he wasn't expecting to find him in an Entertainment company. Not at all. The thought didn't even cross him ever.
Not even after realising that he was sharing his cousin's apartment for a couple of days which happened to be right across Taehyung's.
What were the odds of living in the same building as well as working over the same project, all in the span of less that 24 hours after not seeing each other for eight years.
Wasn't Taehyung a computer science major? What was he doing here? Why wasn't he in the capital, working for some freaking MNC?
But what good was it to ask those questions now. The fate was already clashed. And the right to ask all those questions was already lost!
Taehyung looked at Yoongi with a quirked up brow, when Jimin didn't speak for a long time nor did he make any attempt to let go of Taehyung's hand which were now turning a little sweaty.
"Uh, Mr. Park, I guess the introduction is done for now. So you two can get started with the briefing of lyrics, mood and other aesthetic details to get started with the first session. We will start the track recording from Saturday, so make sure you let Taehyung know all that you have in mind for this song."
Jimin nodded, stealing glances at Taehyung who's unwavering attention was on Yoongi and Yoongi only. When the producer was gone, Taehyung easily slipped back into his chair while Jimin stood there, shifting from one leg to another, searching for words to say but failing simultaneously.
"Hi–" "Why–"
Both said at the same time but Taehyung cut to chase without beating around the bush. "Why are you here, Mr. Park?"
The indifferent and professional tone flipped something in Jimin's stomach. Something unpleasant.
"I- Tae, I'm–"
"Taehyung." He cut in yet again.
"Huh?" Jimin looked with a slight frown, eyes a beautiful shape of dove and shining deep blue but laced with confusion and momentary panic.
The last time Taehyung remembered, Jimin had black eyes. Did he have a transplant?
Are you a fucking dumbass? Those could be lenses, for the love of God, Taehyung.
"It's Taehyung or Mr. Kim for you."
Jimin stood a little straighter hearing that. Did Taehyung not remember him?
Did you give him a reason to remember you with a pleasant peace of heart?
Jimin wallowed in self pity for a while before clearing his throat and doing what he had come for, without swaying in the buried memories from the past.
"I'm sorry. Taehyung it is then. How's your wound?" Jimin asked with concern. Last night when he was dressing it, Taehyung had flinched and moaned in his drunken stupor, almost digging his nails into the skin where he had held Jimin's arm. But as soon as the words left his lips, he gasped lowly, recalling that the guy doesn't remember him from the night.
Probably!
"It's nothing. You don't have to worry. Just banged my head to the– why am I even explaining! You've got nothing to do with it, Mr. Park." He snapped with an irritated sigh and walking away from the near presence of Park Jimin. He was busy–pretending to be busy, setting the switch board with a hundred wires running to and from it, when a very awkwardly standing Jimin blurted something that made him halt.
"It is my wedding present." Jimin said softly, almost afraid.
"Excuse me?" This hard voice was the reason Jimin was afraid about. Taehyung had always been very soft spoken. He could be blunt, but he couldn't be rude deliberately. He knew. So, being on the receiving end of a very ignorant Kim made him feel uneasy with guilt.
Was he the reason?
"I asked you something, Mr. Park. I don't have whole day entertaining your zoning out."
"T-the song. The song is for–"
"You're getting married?" Taehyung swore he didn't want that to sound as eager as that came out. But the damage was already done as he saw Jimin's lips twitch ever so slightly.
"Not me. My brother is. I need a song for my younger brother's pre-wedding video shoot as his gift."
And Taehyung hummed with a virtual sigh of relief. What was he so relieved about?
That night, Taehyung had this strong urge to know Jimin's current life. He knew Jimin was filthy rich and all, but a song for wedding? That fancy of a gift? Was he himself married? Or had a girlfriend? Where did he work? Did he have f– for fuck's sake Taehyung, weren't you bent on not having to do anything with him just this morning?
And just like that, the disappointment of years won over the curiosity of less that 24 hours.
_______
"Why are you here so early?" Taehyung asked with a sour mood when he saw Jimin waiting in the lounge for God knows who. Definitely not him.
"I wanted to meet you."
Or maybe he was wrong!
"Excuse me?" He threw him an incredulous look and Jimin visibly stuttered in his explanation.
"I... I mean... To discuss the song?" He managed somehow.
"You don't have to be this early for these things. You can come around 11 or so from next time." He pressed the buttons on the coffee machine as he spoke.
Unaware to his eyes, Jimin observed Taehyung from the side.
Taehyung still pouted when something wasn't according to his liking. He had grown big, and taller than Jimin. The last time he knew, Taehyung was still a finger shorter than him which used to make Jimin want to protect this misunderstood goofball from the world's cruelties. Taehyung still loved ties. His job profile didn't ask him for an utterly formal dress code but Jimin still saw him in button up shirt and trousers along with a well made necktie hanging around his collars, the two times they have met.
"Stared enough?" Jimin was splashed with a bucket of cold embarassment when Taehyung called him out on his audacity. And if he defended himself, it would be nothing but more shame to add to his daily quota.
"I'm sorry."
"You better be. I don't want to work with creepy no ones." That hit a nerve.
"I'm not a no one, Tae..." An amused look spread across Taehyung's face as he quirked his brows. "...Hyung. Taehyung. I'm not no one and you know it." Jimin defended as best as he could, only for the walls to shatter with Taehyung's next words.
"Who are you? Have we met before? As far as I know, you are BH Entertainment's client, Park Jimin. I don't remember knowing you more than this. Ever!" With that being said, he left, sipping on his coffee and feeling the satisfaction in his mind after seeing the hurt flash across Jimin's eyes.
His mind sure was satisfied. But he couldn't say the same about his heart. You don't hurt people you care about. He cared. But Jimin didn't. Never had. And Taehyung wasn't planning to waste his care over someone so unworthy.
That probably was the last interaction
"Hyungie, why can't Jeon take over this client of mine. I don't want to work with Mr. Park. I feel uncomfortable." Taehyung and complained to Yoongi one evening, sprawled on the lounge like a dying octopus while the producer played UNO on his phone.
Taehyung was ignored. Royally.
"Hyungie I'm going to upload all those secret songs you saved on that one forbidden pendrive, on SoundCloud and you know I can do it." He threatened.
"I'll punch you on your nose." Yoongi deadpanned him, still concentrating on the game.
"Hyungie I'm 25. And taller."
"I'll fire you. And send you behind bars for breaching company policy. You know I can do it, pest!"
If Yoongi says, Yoongi will.
So the only option left with Taehyung was to whine like a fucking child.
"And you said you where 25." Yoongi snorted so loud, it almost sounded like a foreign melody.
"But you don't listen to me." He whined and moaned and what not. Oh this was embarassing.
"Say, what is your problem with Jimin? He's such a pure soul...."— if only you knew, Hyungie.
"Never talks back. Never blows up on your when you fuck things up and he has to do the whole recital again..."— that's because he has guilty conscience.
"And I know you do all that deliberately just to make him work harder."— that's because... Oops!
"I don't." Taehyung gasped, offended to maximum.
"I'm not blind, pest. You've been working for five years and not even in your training days did you make these many mistakes. Ofcourse you do it to annoy him. But he just takes every blow so quietly. He's such a–"
"Hyungie, one more word of praise and I'll break-up with you." He stood up in a defensive stance, all serious and meaning business.
"And he's such a pretty boy. I almost fell in love." Yoongi teased and Taehyung had this horrified expression, the producer almost choked on a guttural laugh.
"Yoongi Hyung. You–" Taehyung's Hyungie then lost his cool hearing the formal addressing of his name after years and burst into a barrage of chuckling through his beautiful gummy teeth.
"Look at your face. I was kidding. I've been on earth before you. So I know a trick or two to get under your skin, pest." He winked, schooling his expression into a snug smirk.
"Hyungie, what the hell." Taehyung was mad. Like pouting mad. Like, 'don't talk me I'm angry' mad.
"Chill, I'm not stealing your long lost lover boy. You can have him all to yourself. Just don't mess with work and I'll let your tantrums slide." Yoongi said in a straight voice, going back to his game and reclining comfortably on the sofa.
And if it was any relief, Taehyung was thankful for that phone so the producer wasn't looking at his tomato red cheeks.
"He isn't my long lost lover. I just don't like this client because he's an amateur. Rope in someone else please, Hyungie. I'll get going now." He sped away quickly, before Yoongi had any chance to decline his request or show him more tricks up his sleeves.
What lover? For all he knew, Jimin was and will always remain the person whom he trusted and was betrayed in return!
Lovers can atleast be moved on from. You just fall in love with someone else. A second chance? But it's not the same for a friend. How do you reach a comfort level built over years, in just a few coffee shop meetings? How do you be vulnerable and know you won't be taken advantage of? How do you build the trust again? How do you move on from your best friend?
______
"Your coffee." Jimin extended his hands holding the large beverage into his small clutch towards Taehyung who was a bit late today and didn't have time to grab his piping hot dose of caffeine since he was called in for some last minute changes with other project he was a part of.
It was 1 in the afternoon and Taehyung's head rang like a fucking humungous bell, ready to explode any moment. He desperately needed that coffee and there were two ways this could go. He either take the coffee and be a bitch to Jimin like usual, or take the coffee and be civil.
Yeah, not taking coffee wasn't in any way possible because he would probably die of a migraine.
Let's just take the coffee first then we'll decide about the later part, he thought, as he wrapped his hands around the cup.
Aren't we gonna talk about that little brush of fingers that sent tingles all way down to both of their spines?
No, because they are best friends 'only' and if that doesn't convince you, the fingers didn't brush.
Taehyung made sure he ignored Jimin passionately, which meant, no casual conversation and -100% of skin ship. As much as his language of affection meant physical touches, he was not ready to be affectionate to someone who broke his trust and self esteem, which was a story for some other time.
Jimin had a soft smile bloom on his lips as this was the first time Taehyung didn't retort on his gesture with a taunt. Jimin was certain at this point that even if he breathed, it annoyed Taehyung, which in a way wasn't totally unreasonable, given their history.
And obviously, if Taehyung didn't miss fuming over his act breathing, how could he miss this smile and not want to wipe it off his face!
"Don't get too happy. A coffee doesn't mean I forgot you are simply a client, Mr. Park. And so, thankyou for helping me. I'll repay your favour however I could." As expected, Jimin's face grimaced in seconds, but he didn't say anything back and simply left.
This.
This was what made Taehyung fume everytime he saw Jimin's face. He always left. Without a fight. Without an explanation. Without clarification.
He did this eight years ago.
He does this now.
Nothing has changed. Nothing ever changed. Jimin from the past was the same Jimin whom he met two weeks ago and they both kept leaving him for the world to call Taehyung unfortunate to not have any friends.
And Jimin was the reason he never tried to make friends ever again because one was enough to scar him for life.
"What the fuck? Watch where are you going!" Yoongi snapped without looking at Jimin who was walking fast with his eyes glued to ground instead of looking up and ahead. He mumbled a small sorry before dashing right through the front door while Yoongi stared with his mouth wide open, ready to apologise for cursing to his clients during work hours.
Ofcourse he cursed the difficult ones after work hours. What did you expect from the most in demand music producer who took pride in his creations?
"Taehyung, what exactly is going on between you and Jimin?" The producer barged into the recording centre with a determination that said— I'll extort every information out of this bastard today. But it immediately deflated when he saw Taehyung covered in snot and tears and a mountain of dirty tissues all across the floor around the soundboard.
"What the fuck is wrong with everyone today?" He let out an exasperated sigh and approached a very much crying Taehyung with caution. He didn't even know to save his life as to what he should do around a crying person, let alone console them
"Pest?"
What the fuck Yoongi, he cursed himself before correcting his words.
"Taehyung? Don't cry!" Good going. Ask him not to cry and he will listen to you. Totally!
"Hyungie you are awful at this. Please don't even try. I'll have seizures." Taehyung retorted as he blew into the tissue paper shamelessly. Yoongi grunted in disgust but didn't leave him. They both sat there until he was done with his cry fest and cleaned up the mess into the dustbin over one of the corners.
Yoongi then dared to speak again with an "Okay now?" To which Taehyung hummed in response and gave him a hug.
"I hate this." The producer murmured, only for the latter to hug him tighter and whisper a genuine thank-you.
Four hours later, they were still struggling with some particular tune adjustment which just wasn't sounding right when Taehyung said, "Aren't you curious about why I was crying?"
"I literally asked you that when I entered the room, pest. How even are you alive, seriously. I would have literally drowned myself if I were to be as dumb as you." Yoongi retorted, frowning at a particular snitch in the graph of the tune he was composing.
Taehyung gasped dramatically at the blatant lie, "You can even lie just to have an upper hand, Hyungie. I'm aghast..."– all the while keeping his palm over his heart resembling a hurt posture.
"You're dying to spill, anyway. So just vomit it for your own sanity, Pest!" Taehyung observed that Yoongi was actually paying attention to him although his expression said otherwise so he continued with a serious tone.
"Him & I have a history. We were–"
"I was fucking right, you little piece of shit. He is your long lost lover, isn't he? I'm such a genius..." Yoongi had his head held high as he rushed with his words in a non dork-ish way, sounding like Archimedes yelling Eureka!
Taehyung narrowed his eyes hard over his Hyungie who matched his glare with his own dark feline eyes. "He was my best friend. And then he left."
There was a beat of silence as the producer tried to understand the reason for this tension between the two parties. But, alas, he couldn't find any.
"And?" So he continued his probe, much to Taehyung's annoyance.
"What do you mean 'and' ? That's it. He left without any explanation. Just woke up and left."
"And that's the reason for you to never have a normal human relationship during the times I've know you?" Yoongi was literally living example of the word disbelief when Taehyung hummed in agreement.
"Are you sure you are this restless and annoyed for just a best friend? It wasn't anything more?"
"What the hell, Hyungie. I told you already. You all could never understand what I and him shared. Just forget it already." He gave up. The producer 'had' to bring up this particular chapter about him and Jimin everytime he mentioned the latter. It was starting to get on his nerves.
______
"Look, I know it's hard and that you've never done this. But why the fuck won't you listen to me when I say how close you are supposed to be to the mic or when to move away." Taehyung blasted at the poor little guy with blonde hair, who flinched inside the recording booth, while he shuffled back his own black strands out of the face.
It had already been three weeks and they were still on the first verse. They had the whole song yet to be recorded and here he was, banging his head over the sound board because Jimin was more amateur than he had ever expected and refused to learn.
"Taehyung, calm down. He's a newbie. You are always so patient with everyone but you've already had an outburst for like 7 out of 8 sessions with Mr. Park." Yoongi said authoritatively from the side of the room.
This really frustrated Taehyung to no end. The one who fucks up, is Jimin. The one who takes the brunt, is him.
Always!
He was so done for the day and now that his favourite Hyungie had reprimanded him for someone else's shortcoming, that too of Park Jimin's, he was at the end of his wits.
"Fine. I quit. Get the guy inside the booth some other sound engineer. I'm out. I no longer want to assist him on this venture. I hope Hyungie will understand and not fire me from the job." He spoke as calmly as he could before slamming the headphones on the table beside Yoongi and slammed the door shut as he walked out.
The recording booth was normally not very excessively lit. This made it easy for Jimin to hide the waterly pearls that had managed to slide down his rosy cheeks during Taehyung's rampage.
And Jimin knew he was the cause. It wasn't because Taehyung was being impatient. It was because Jimin just wanted more time so that he could talk to Taehyung. Maybe tell him he was sorry. But he was unsure if an apology meant anything after so much time had passed. So he was just trying to stall the recording.
_______
"I'm sorry." Jimin's voice faltered as he tried to squeeze out those words from his constricting throat. Taehyung's gaze was heavy and piercing on him, it wasn't anything pleasant.
He had seen that stare, but he was never on its receiving end. It was one of a kind where Taehyung made sure that his disgust was physically manifested and visible to the person who tried to play nasty with him.
And tonight, Jimin was that person!
"I don't need your sorry, Mr. Park! I'm very much able to function properly without your sorry since last eight years." He said tersely, not even batting an eyelid when he saw Jimin's eyes pooled with water that shined under the ceiling lights.
So now you have the audacity to cry!
"I... I shouldn't have left like that. I'm sorry Tae. I–"
"Don't call me Tae. I'm not Tae. My name is Taehyung. You don't fucking get to call me Tae anymore, Mr. Park." If not for the coffee cup being in a death grip between his fingers, he would be shaking all over from the tremendous amount of anger he felt at that moment.
Jimin momentarily stopped breathing at that vicious undertone lacing Taehyung's voice. He really didn't think his best friend would still be so... Uh... So passionately broken about their fallout.
And it scared Jimin.
He wasn't ready to have this conversation. He just meant to say sorry and that's it.
Fuck!
"Are you done? If yes, please get out of my office while I'm politely asking." Taehyung turned his back towards Jimin, unable to stand the urge to just let all this go and hug the fuck out of his once best friend whom he still very much missed, albeit the anger and hurt.
If Jimin left now, he'll never be able to face Taehyung ever again. It was his fault afterall. He went without an explanation.
"I-"
"I don't want an explanation now, Mr. Park. Please get out."
"Just listen to me this once, Taehyung. I will leave after this." Jimin cried, or so Taehyung made out from the little crack in his voice.
A wicked and almost cruel smirk spread on his lips hearing the last sentence, "Ofcourse you'll leave. You are best at doing that. I've personally experienced it." He laughed, a very dark chuckle.
For fuck's sake, Taehyung. Why being so dramatic...?
He didn't know.
He was hurt.
And until now, he didn't know the depth of the hurt. Not unless after Jimin showed up like a perfect fucking guy with a fucking perfect girlfriend and a fucking perfect job along with a god awfully fucking perfect smile that showed not an ounce of guilt or hurt or sleepless nights.
Was it just him who still wallowed in sorrow of loosing his best friend?
"I didn't..." It was hard. Telling the reason of his sudden disappearance was hard enough, but with the reason came the revelation of the biggest secret he's ever had. And no one knew about it. Not a single soul. Not even his own personal journal that he wrote every night.
He gulped. When Taehyung showed no sign of throwing him out physically, he continued with an almost whisper, "I didn't want to leave. But I had to leave. And the reason was you."
That had Taehyung snap his head towards Jimin so hard, he worried if he sprained his neck or something. But that was a concern for later.
"Me? What do you mean me?" He frowned.
"I... I lo- liked you Taehyung."
What?
"What?" He was stunned and confused had to be the understatement of the year.
"I liked you back then."
"I liked you too Mr. Park. You were my best friend. You were my favourite person. How can I not like you? And you did the same. How did it even occur to you to leave me for that? Were you that fucking dumb?"
Oh but you definitely are that fucking dumb, Kim Taehyung.
"I mean I liked you, dumbass. As in, more than best friend."
Silence.
The only noise in the office was that of two rapidly beating hearts and a clock that ticked ever so slowly. Nothing else. Because Taehyung's mind tuned out every other voice except syncing his own heartbeat with that of the clock's ticking to keep him grounded.
"So you left?"
"I was afraid." His words were so meek, Taehyung hardly was able to hear due to the ringing of his ears. So he took a few calculated steps towards Jimin and stood at a hands distance from him.
"I was afraid because you were a guy, Taehyung. I couldn't possibly have been gay, right? My family would never accept me. The society wouldn't let me live peacefully. I couldn't let my parents down for something so–"
"–so unimportant. Yeah. I get it, Mr. Park." If Taehyung was angry before, for his best friend leaving, he was now on a whole another level of fury.
Jimin panicked.
"I don't mean it that way, Taehyung listen to me. I just didn't want this to be something more. You wouldn't have wanted it as well, right?"
"Mr. Park..." His voice was stiff, cold and dark. Nothing about it was assuring. "... I wanted it, or not, it was none of your business. You knew your parents were homophobic, so you did everything to please them. But you also knew I wasn't, but still, you didn't tell me. Why?"
"How would have I told you that I liked you? It would have ruined our friendship–"
"AS IF YOU VANISHING FROM MY LIFE DIDN'T ALREADY RUIN IN, JIMIN!" Taehyung's voice rose an octave and even the shattering of the coffee cup on the wall beside him couldn't cover the growl so loud. Now, Jimin was literally scared.
"You thought. You acted. You left. What about me?" Taehyung's eyes were a tinge of red on the rims by now, anger and tears bustling with full vigour over his eyes but stubborn enough to not let themselves loose.
"I'm so-"
"Don't. I don't need nor do I want to hear your useless apologies. You wanted to leave. Accept it. You wanted me to suffer. You wanted me to–"
"No Taehyung, I never wanted you to be hurt. Hell, I didn't even think you'll be so affected by me leaving. I thought you'll be okay after a few days or mo–"
"YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND."
Fuck! He really was loosing it.
"You were my best friend. We spent almost whole day talking about shits and doing some of them. How did you even think I'll... Wait..." His eyes now settled on Jimin's dove shaped ones and the latter gulped. There was a look of realisation in his eyes, and a very terrible realisation, Jimin could tell.
This was not good.
"So you got over me in months?"
See... Not good at all.
"I didn't mean–"
"Yes you did. You have moved on so gracefully. You were disgusted to see me again. You say you liked me? Lord kill me if I'm wrong but I wasn't even your best friend ever. I was just another friend... No, scratch that. Aquaintance, whom you forgot along your way to the perfect life with a perfect wife and a perfect job."
"Taehyung you are speaking nonsense now." Jimin warned, straightening up at the words from Taehyung. The guy was now just throwing a jab at his personal life which Jimin didn't really appreciate or accept.
Taehyung's eyes suddenly lost focus as if he was drawn to some other universe. They were all over the place instead of concentrating on Jimin. This didn't sit very well with Jimin.
"No no no no... Here I was, running around your college to get something, anything about Park Jimin to know if he was okay. Or if he had left any message for me." Taehyung was frantic and the words tumbled out like a waterfall, heavily overlapped and fast.
And this was the umpteenth time when Jimin froze in his place.
You looked for me that much?
"I had called the landlord of your apartment several times to know if he by chance knew where did you go after leaving the house. Until he finally blocked my number." Jimin visibly gasped at this new information.
What was he expecting from the Kim Taehyung who was by far the most passionate human being he's ever met in his entire life. Jimin didn't know what to say or feel after that. He just stood there like a tree, who's branches had been cut off and was withering slowly under the extreme snow and hail.
"Tae..." The only words he was capable of letting out was a soft whisper of the name he hadn't forgotten in those eight years.
"I had cried myself to sleep thinking I may have done something so awfully wrong that even you decided to leave me. I had suffered from self deprecating thoughts that maybe I was too much for people to handle and no one was willing to befriend me forever. No one wanted me." Taehyung breathed hard, running his free hand into his hair at the anxiety building inside him rapidly.
"I even thought maybe you..." His eyes were wide with terror and worry, but unfocused as he left the sentence hanging in mid.
"No Tae you are not–"
"Now I know I'm not. I'm not unwanted." His sharp eyes were once again on Jimin and this time, something broke inside Taehyung as he said, "It was you who never deserved me! My friendship. My trust. My everything!"
He walked menacingly, like a tiger walking with soft foot to catch his cute little lamb off-guard and have a feast of his soft meat and smear himself with the victory. "It was you who was, is and will always be a coward."
He knew he was a coward, Jimin didn't deny the fact. But hearing it loud and clear, hurt.
"Taehyung stop it."
"Why? Hearing the truth hurt? It should hurt. Hiding your sexuality and betraying your partner is not considered an act of bravery, for your very kind information, Mr. Park!" He clutched on anything and everything he can just to hurt Jimin. He was desparate.
"I'm bisexual, Taehyung. I'm not betraying my girlfriend. And you have no right to comment on my personal life or my sexuality for that matter."
"Your girlfriend should know it." Taehyung was by now crowding Jimin's personal space with hot breaths and a brutal smirk. "She wouldn't know when you'll be trying to bed her brother or guy friend–"
Slap!
Taehyung was thrown off to his left with a sharp sting on his cheeks, still fuming. Whereas, on the other hand, Jimin had a distraught expression on his entire face. Insecurity, worry, hurt, disgust, anger, guilt and every other negative emotion was fused into something very sad and dark in his heart.
"Enough!" It didn't come out as strong and angry he had expected, rather, it was pitiful. "Enough of this, Taehyung."
Oh but Taehyung wasn't done. Eight years of yearning wasn't going to waste right here at this moment.
Yearning?
"Hurt, didn't it? It should hurt good. I'm not a fucking saint to let go of everything I went through all these years. I may have never liked you like you liked me. But I loved you enough to hate you now, passionately, dear ex best friend!" He grinned, a toothy grin. It was insane. The smile was that of a psychopath.
"Don't do this to yourself."
"You don't get to order me, Mr. Park. You are just a client while I work here as a permanent employee for five years." Scrambling himself upright again and leaning into Jimin's eyes yet again, he spoke with clear determined stance, "And you are just a visitor to this hurt club while I'm a regular resident since eight years!"
Jimin took a sharp intake of breath at the words. They held more depth than Taehyung was letting on. What was this all about? Does loosing a best friend really hurt that much?
You really prove the point of Taehyung, Jimin! You never considered him your best friend, did you?
No. I loved him. He was always more than a best friend. He will always be.
Jimin closed his eyes shut, letting everything sink in as a tear slipped out of left lid all the way down to his lips, spreading a salty taste of truth over his wounded lips as well as heart.
Sparing no more words or glance, he turned on his heels and walked out of the office, leaving behind, a reduced-to-nothing Taehyung.