Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

First, I really want to clarify that I’ve never thought I had a problem with gay people before. I grew up a bit sheltered, but my aunt never said anything homophobic growing up so I don’t even know where this could be coming from.

M and Z have been my roommates for 3 years now and it was never a secret that they were bi. The last few years have been amazing. They’ve really become my best friends and we’re comfortable enough with each other that we’ll all even jokingly pretend to flirt. They know I’m straight and I’ve never felt like they were coming onto me weird or anything.

The problem is M and Z started dating recently. I was so happy for them at first and we even went out for a drink to celebrate when they told me. I guess my only fear was that I would become some kind of third wheel and that since they’re both so nice, they wouldn’t tell me I was hanging around too much or something. I ended up being worried for nothing though. We still do almost everything together and I haven’t really felt left out or overbearing at all… which makes me feel so much more guilty for feeling this way.

About a week ago, I got off from work early and I caught them making out on our couch. I’m usually fine with couples and PDA and everything like that but when I saw it, I felt such a terrible feeling in my gut, almost like I wanted to throw up. We were all embarrassed and I told them that it was fine and I should’ve given a heads up that I was coming back early. I feel absolutely terrible for feeling this kind of disgust(?) because there’s not a single reason for me to feel that way. I thought maybe it was because I wasn’t expecting it but I keep feeling it whenever I see them together now. Even when they’re not doing anything super romantic like just sitting together watching a show, I can’t help but feel really uncomfortable.

M and Z have started to notice how I keep avoiding them and it’s affecting our friendship. Yesterday when we were having dinner, Z fed M something off her plate and I got the same grossed out feeling so I tried to finish eating quickly and leave without causing a scene but I guess I was too obvious. M called me out and asked if I had a problem with them being together and I said no. She called me a liar and even though Z tried to calm us down, the conversation spiraled because I just didn’t know what to say and M kept pushing. We argued and M brought up how I used to bring around the guy I dated (which also was years ago at this point) and how they had to watch me be “lovey dovey" with him. M and Z eventually went to their room but M said something about how she was going to kiss her gf in the room and if that was alright with me since I wouldn’t be seeing it. I told her that I didn’t care and they could do whatever they wanted because it had nothing to do with me and I don't know but M seemed more upset after I said that.

Z and I ran into each other in the morning before work and I could barely look her in the eyes. She’s one of the sweetest and kindest people I know so I feel even guiltier for feeling this way. I still didn’t have anything to say to explain the way I keep avoiding them and now even she’s having trouble hiding her frustration.

I feel like shit. M keeps avoiding me now and if this is how they felt when I was doing it, I really am a terrible friend. M has been upset with me before but never to this extent. I can also tell Z is going crazy trying to find a way to fix things but I don’t know how to tell them that I might be homophobic?

How can I fix this? I just want things to go back to how they used to be. Thinking about them together makes me so uncomfortable and no matter how I’ve tried to reframe it in my head, nothing is working. I’m so confused because I don’t feel like this around other gay couples, just M and Z. They’d each been interested in other people before but I didn’t get the same feeling whenever they told me about those dates. Has anyone else gone through something similar? I need real advice on how to be better because I can’t keep hurting them like this. I’ve been seriously considering moving out to give them more space and see if that will fix things, but that’s the very last option I want to take. They deserve better than a roommate who’s being homophobic. Please help

Bboybest2493: Have you ever considered that you might be interested in dating M or Z? From your post, it kind of sounds like you’re jealous

OP: I’ve never been attracted to other girls before. I think if I was attracted to girls I would’ve already felt something for another girl before

Romanceisntdead: Girl… are you absolutely positively sure you’re not into one of them? Especially bcuz you only feel this way towards their relationship?

OP: I mean I’ve thought they’re both attractive and that M and Z are my favorite people in the world who I can’t imagine living my life without. Dating either of them just never felt like an option I had to begin with if that makes sense ?

Romanceisntdead: what if you didn’t have to choose? Does M or Z have an opinion on polyamory? If they’re open to it, that could be an option to consider

Professionalh8er: I know what you are

User1349340: OP in your ideal world would you want them to breakup so things can go back to how they used to

OP: Absolutely not! Breaking them up has never been or will ever be something I’ll do. Maybe it would stop me from being uncomfortable but it wouldn’t be worth it. The way that they look at each other with such love and happiness… I don’t ever want them to have to stop that just for me

Professionalh8er: tbh feeling homophobic is normal. they should just date guys anyways

OP: blocked

Bboybest2493: kys homophobe

SAWYCFTCTSHH: do you think M and Z are disgusting for being gay? i’m really not fully convinced this is homophobia. maybe you’re subconsciously feeling left out still?

OP: No I don’t think I could ever really consider M and Z disgusting. I think maybe it’s more about seeing them do things together? Idk it’s so confusing - maybe you’re right though. It’s just like this sinking feeling in my gut when I see them so happy with each other and maybe it is bcuz I feel like I can’t be part of that

SAWYCFTCTSHH: OP that might've just been a huge breakthrough

Belligerent-Bear-617: OP you should really just try talking to them about this. It sounds like you’re just jealous of their relationship and maybe talking it out will help settle those feelings

OP: I’ve never really been one to be so upfront about my feelings. We had a big fight a few months ago because of how I kept bottling up how I felt and M and Z said they felt like I was shutting them out. We were able to talk that through but this time just feels so different for some reason. I think I’m scared of how they might respond

Belligerent-Bear-617: what are you scared that they’ll say

OP: Like what if they hear me and do think I am homophobic and our friendship is never the same? They could ask me to move out and never talk to them and that would be so fair of them

Belligerent-Bear-617: OP it seems like you and M and Z really care about each other. You know them best. Would they really ice you out like that?

Chapter Text

Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for all your help on my last post. I’ve read all your comments, and it really got me thinking about my feelings. I’m very happy to say that I have come to the conclusion that I am NOT homophobic and I'm in love with both of my roommates. So that's cool haha

I’m posting here again to give everyone an update and I actually really need some more advice right now if anyone has the time to help me out again. I may have possibly accidentally made things a little (a lot?) worse.

Two days after I did my first post, I met up with my friend J (23M) to talk through this a bit more. J and I dated before, but it just wasn’t working out in the long term so we decided to go back to being friends. He’s still one of the people who know me best – aside from Z and M of course.

I showed J the post and the comments and he started laughing at me?? He said that I sounded “so gay” in it?? It took awhile for him to get himself together enough to explain but he agreed completely with everyone who said I was probably acting out because I was jealous.

We talked about what I should do about M and Z and how I should handle that whole situation. He thought that I should tell them but I was initially very against that idea. There were never any signs that they liked me as more than a friend.

I was really scared about M and Z being weirded out by my feelings and hating me and kicking me out so that they would never have to see me again. Or worse, that only one of them would like me back and then they would break up and the other would be left heartbroken and alone.

J said I was being stupid and “just friends” don’t do the things I’ve done with M and Z?? Apparently, I spend an unusually large amount of time with them (is it gay to want to be around my best friends all the time?) and it’s not normal to be as touchy as M, Z, and I are with each other. He kept going on about a bunch of other stuff along those lines too but I think he just started exaggerating at some point.

Tbh I didn’t grow up with many friends so M and Z are the first people I could call my best friends. I thought that all those were normal best friend behaviors? I was never a huge physical touch person but with them, it’s always come a bit easier. I really just thought my roommates were being helpful in getting me past my slight touch aversion. J said they didn’t need to sleep in my bed with me multiple times a week to do that, but again, isn’t that just a normal sleepover??

Well anyways, by the end of the conversation, he convinced me that I should go and have an honest conversation with M and Z. I texted them to ask if we could talk the next day and we decided to meet up at the park across the street.

This is where I kind of messed up again. I don’t know, I’m so bad with opening up about my feelings and I knew I should’ve practiced what to say, but I thought the words would flow out naturally when I saw them.

The words that flowed out were indeed not good at all. I got there and M still looked a bit upset while Z had such a sad look in her eyes. It did start out nice though! I apologized for avoiding them and that I hated not being able to see them and spend time with them anymore.

M and Z took that well and we had this whole conversation about how we were all sorry for how we acted and it was going so good, but then M wanted to know exactly what started all of this.

I’m not going to lie. I did panic and (I’m already hating myself this) the exact words I blurted out were “I didn’t like you guys together.”

…I KNOW. I think what my mouth was meaning to say was “I didn’t like you guys together WITHOUT ME”. Um yeah as you can guess, that did not go well. It kind of spiraled from there. Before I could clarify, M and Z recovered from their utter shock and a bunch of yelling and crying happened.

I tried to say something and explain myself, but everything just wasn’t coming out right. I proceeded to do the next worst possible move and told them to try and calm down for a second and yup they actually got more mad.

I may have panicked again... and then I ran off. I didn’t know what to do so I just started sprinting away. And that’s where we’re at now. I'm at my aunt’s house and I really need help on what I should say to try and fix this whole situation.

They've texted and called me, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to respond yet. M has called me a coward a couple times and Z has sent some pictures of animals looking really sad. They’re telling me to come back already because they want to hear more of what I have to say for myself.

I want to go back so badly, but I’m scared I’m going to say the wrong thing again and mess up what I have with them permanently. Can anyone help me figure out a way to talk with them about this? I love them so much and this is tearing me apart.  

iSuKtoes: holy shit I think you are the very definition of gay disaster. why did you go into that convo so unprepared??

OP: I thought I would be able to speak from my heart and that would make it more authentic :(

Romanceisntdead: I am genuinely shocked that this update is somehow even gayer than the first post. Maybe you should try writing out all your feelings on a piece of paper and then reading that to them

OP: Okay yeah that sounds like a good place to start. Thank you.

Lesssbeeeaaaan: my jaw is dropped omfg girl please. there is literally so much to unpack here

Iwillshowyoumysupermassiveblackhole: you went to your ex bf to talk about the girls you like? huh?? that sure sounds like a choice. not a great one but it was a choice i guess

OP: There’s nothing romantic between us anymore. I still trust his judgement and plus he’s already texted me back to help me figure out what to do now

Iwillshowyoumysupermassiveblackhole: what did he say

OP: He's saying I should show up tomorrow or the next day with flowers and a sign that says "sorry i didn't mean it"  

User102928: respectfully, there are actually so many better options

HePingOnMyPong: First off, I don’t think you have to worry about them not liking you back. Truly. From what you’ve described these girls love you so much in a VERY non-platonic way

OP: People keep saying this and I think I’m really starting to come around to believing them. I’m thinking more about what I’ve done with M and Z, and if everyone else is being serious, I don’t think a lot of what we’ve done together is very 'just friends' of us

Titpuncher: I’m actually crying. Do me a personal favor and find a therapist please. Expeditiously. But seriously though, I agree with another commenter that you should write out what you want to say and go based off that. It sounds like you’re not the greatest at saying your feelings under pressure so this would be a good way for you to make sure you’re saying what you truly want to

User102928: OP it’s important to me that you know there is nothing platonic about the way you describe them acting around you. Sure sleepovers can be normal but not multiple times a week?? Girl please bffr

OP: I don’t understand how I was supposed to know that wasn’t platonic. I read that spooning and being spooned can be regular acts of comfort between friends

Titpuncher: god i've seen what you've done for others. please when is it my turn

iLoveTurtles69: OH MY GOD. JUST TALK TO THEM??

OP: I want to :( but I don’t know what to say

iLoveTurtles69: listen to me. really listen here. i think you should go talk to them as soon as possible. tonight would actually be the very best time. you know i think there’s no use in waiting. i promise you that this is all going to work out. you could literally just say "i'm in love with you two and i didn't know how to handle my feelings sorry" and everything will be ok. truuuust me

OP: I don’t know… I was thinking I should give it a day or until the morning at the very least to try again… They might need some more space. I wouldn't blame them if they already hate me

iLoveTurtles69: babe i am on my hands and knees begging you to go to them right now

Chapter Text

Hi, everyone! I wasn’t intending on updating again, but I’ve still been getting some occasional DMs and comments asking how everything turned out. You all were a huge help from the beginning so sharing this is the least I can do.

I want to start off by addressing some reoccurring questions and comments to clear the air first:

Yes, I was completely serious about thinking I was homophobic. I was so far into denial that I didn’t even know I had anything to deny.

No, M and Z didn’t know for sure whether I liked one or both of them, but yes, none of the things I previously thought were platonic girl bestie activities were actually platonic.

Yes, when I said I sprinted away from the conversation, I literally took off running away from them. And yes, I also know this is not a healthy way to deal with conflict and I have been working on it ok

And please don’t attack M and Z for how they approached this whole thing too. Yeah maybe shouting and tears aren’t the right way to handle a tense conversation, but if you were face to face with someone who was (accidentally) insulting your relationship and sounding like they were praying on its downfall (I really wasn’t!), you’d probably be pretty angry too.

Alright with that out of the way, spoiler alert: M and Z are my girlfriends!

I’ll start from after I posted the last update two months ago. At the insistence and encouragement of several Redditors, especially u/iLoveTurtles69, I ended up going back to the apartment really late that night. I wasn’t expecting it but M and Z were still up and waiting for me. I thought that they’d be angry and I was really prepared for them to start questioning me immediately and pushing for answers, but instead, they seemed relieved(?) to even see me there. They were so unexpectedly sweet and patient that night, and they let me take the lead with talking and explaining everything.

Huge thank you again to everyone who suggested I write down I wanted to say because my brain just goes so empty sometimes when I look at them. It was beyond helpful to have the words in front of me so I didn’t accidentally shove my foot in my mouth again. I won’t get into the specifics of the conversation because there was just so much we had to talk about and it was so vulnerable and emotional and a girl has to keep some secrets am I right lol

The overall take home point of that talk was that M and Z liked me back! I got so excited and I asked them if it meant we were dating and Z said yes immediately, but M said that I have to take her on a date first and then Z gave her a Look and M changed her answer to a "yeah of course dummy."

Since then, we’ve been on a few dates and I am proud to say I am now a certified Girl Kisser. They have been the best parts of my life since I met them, and I don’t think words could ever fully express the depth of love and appreciation I have for them.

I think that should wrap up everything? We’re still going strong. They're lovely and everything I could have asked for. Our relationship has been a dream. We’ve talked about what we could all improve on when it comes to having hard conversations. A relationship with three people is new to all of us, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I know that not everything is going to be sunshine and roses for us, that inevitably there’ll be disagreements or miscommunications, but we’re going to keep choosing each other every day and that’ll be enough.

This is going to be my final update. Thank you again to everyone who has commented. I really don’t think I would’ve gotten this far without all of your guys’ advice and encouragement. I am so appreciative and so thankful for you taking time to read about my problems and help me figure it all out. Wishing you all the best!

Bboybest2493: Tears are running down my face. This is the sweetest possible ending I could have ever hoped for

SAWYCFTCTSHH: This was such a crazy ride. Who knew from your first post that it would end up like this. Wow. Congrats OP

Titpuncher: I’m so happy for you! Wishing all three of you the best of luck in your relationship!

supercorpwasrealtome: you wish that was you huh

Titpuncher: every day for the rest of my life

Professionalh8erReturns: 7/10. Great story with a satisfying ending but would be better w more straight people

iSuKtoes: bro this is a real person, you can’t just rate their life experiences like that omfg

Bboybest2493: kys and die mad about it

OP: blocked (again?)

iSuKtoes: I am so beyond glad that everything worked out for OP. m and z sound amazing and it’s great all of you worked this out

Romanceisntdead: romance continues to live another day. believe in the power of love y’all <333

Lesssbeeeaaaan: classic case of gays and their inability to not make things as difficult as possible for themselves

SAWYCFTCTSHH: See this feels homophobic but I am finding it difficult to deny

[REAL FINAL UPDATE]

I know I said the last one would be my final update, but I just found out something that I thought you guys would also enjoy knowing.

It turns out that Z actually found my Reddit posts the day that I had run away from them. The reason her and M were so chill when I got back is that they had already read through everything and had time to process while waiting for me to come back.

I guess this situation is so specific that they couldn’t imagine anyone else having that kind of problem? Also, using their real first letters in the name was “sooo obvious” and I was “just asking for them to know it was me.”

I found out when we were all lying in bed and Z was scrolling through her photos to find a picture she’d taken of a cloud that looked like a “cat in a racecar” (sidenote, it totally did look like that). Well, as she was swiping up, I saw a picture that looked exactly like the profile pic of someone else who was commenting on my posts. A profile pic that was so very distinctive.

When I stopped her and asked her to tell me about that specific picture, I genuinely think I heard both of them stop breathing. Then, Z let out the fakest laugh I’ve ever heard from her and jumped out of bed claiming she just remembered she had “something else to do”. M was terrible at pretending she had no clue about what was going on and broke very quickly after Z’s stunning performance.

Maybe I should be more upset that they didn’t tell me immediately that they had found my posts, but since it got me here, I can’t bring myself to be too mad at them (they’re also way too cute to stay mad at).

I think at this point I’m more embarrassed that I jumped immediately to thinking I was homophobic rather than jealous. Now that they know I know that they know, M has been calling me homophobic if I refuse to do literally anything she asks, like if I refuse to be the one to get up and grab the tv remote, suddenly I’m homophobic again. Z is just excited because now she can send me all the Reddit posts she wants.

And that is that! They’re dorks but they’re mine. This really should be my actual last update. Bye!

User102928: It was totally u/iLoveTurtles69 right?? Girl was HUNGRY for that cookie huh

Romanceisntdead: 100%

HePingOnMyPong: I looked through all the comments and nobody else sounded as personally invested as them

iSuKtoes: ^^^

Titpuncher: u/iLoveTurtles69 do you have any semblance of a defense???

                  iLoveTurtles69: not even a little bit, i am down horrendously bad

MiracleOnStageAndInUrBed: wow that’s so embarrassing for u. imagine thinking ur homophobic bcuz ur so out of touch with ur feelings that hating gay ppl was ur first thought instead of considering u just might wanna kiss them. L

OP: Did you seriously make an account just to comment this? You’re ridiculous

iLoveTurtles: we agreed to be nice to her :/ you’re def not in the cuddle pile tn

MiracleOnStageAndInUrBed: im sorry im sorry im sorry

Chapter Text

Six hours. It’d already been six hours since Rumi literally sprinted away from them instead of staying and talking like a normal, well-adjusted human being. Zoey was still losing it.

Like, okay, maybe yeah, Mira shouldn’t have started yelling, and she herself definitely didn’t make things better by tearing up and also snapping a little bit, but somebody had just said they didn’t like her and her girlfriend. The someone being Rumi, their roommate who they both may or may not have a big fat crush on, made it so much worse.

Zoey huffed, scrolling mindlessly on her phone as she settled more into Mira’s side under one of their favorite blankets. She didn’t need to instantly become a track star and start an impromptu 10k though.

After taking several moments to get over their utter disbelief at what just happened, the two had decided to retreat to the apartment. Texting and calling Rumi had gone nowhere fast, so now, their current plan was to wait for Rumi to get back, barricade the door so she couldn’t leave, force a nice and productive conversation, and kisses at the end.

Wait.

No. No kisses. Scratch that. Hugs, big warm hugs for everyone at the end because Rumi is just a Friend. But Rumi looks like she’d be a good kisser. I just know it. Zoey shook her head like she could physically dislodge that train of thought. This is so not the time for that.

Mira shifted beside her, letting out a light snore that she would later deny ever doing. At hour 4, she had let out a frustrated sigh before slamming her eyes closed with a curt “when I wake up, she better be here.”

Zoey stifled a giggle as she glanced up at her girlfriend’s face, momentarily distracted by how cute she looked while sleeping. Her phone buzzed and her gaze snapped back to her screen, hoping that it was Rumi finally texting them back.

She felt a sting of disappointment before curiosity took over. It was a Reddit notification for a post in r/relationships that the algorithm thought she may be interested in. Zoey let out a snort as she read the title before tapping to view the entire post.

It was a bit of a guilty pleasure, but she ate these types of things up. It was always so entertaining reading and commenting on posts where the answer is so obvious to everyone except the OP. Being at the center of problems seemed to bring the idiot out in everybody, and most of the time, they just needed a nudge (or shove) in the right direction.

A soft “oh my god” slipped out of Zoey’s lips as she continued to read. Her heart was racing and she felt like she was barely breathing by the time she got to the end of the update. “Oh my god, oh no, that’s our idiot.”

Mira had begun to stir as she felt Zoey progressively stiffen next to her. She let out a heavy sigh before nestlng closer to her girlfriend, keeping her eyes shut.  “Who’s our idiot?” she asked in a gruff, sleep-addled voice.

No longer able to contain the energy bubbling inside, Zoey leaped up off the couch. Or at least she tried to. She’d forgotten to take into account the blanket wrapped around the both of them.

The result was her falling face-first into the carpet while Mira was pulled halfway off the couch, a surprised yelp escaping her.

“Zoey!” Now, fully awake, Mira turned an irritated glare onto her. “Really!”

Zoey let out a squeak as she worked to untangle her legs. “Sorry! I’m sorry! But you have to see this!” She shoved her phone straight into Mira’s face when the girl pulled all of her body back onto the couch. “Read ALL of it.”

Mira grumbled, still visibly upset over her rude awakening, before grabbing the phone and holding it an inch from her eyes. “This better be worth it or you’re losing bed privileges tonight.”

The other girl didn’t have it in her to make her usual jokes about how Mira looked like an old lady when she read without her glasses. Instead, Zoey was basically vibrating as she waited for Mira to finish and come to same conclusion she had.

She watched as Mira’s eyebrows rose and her jaw dropped with every line she read. Mira’s eyes stayed glued to the screen as she asked, “Is this…?”

“It has to be right?!” Zoey basically yelled. If that was Rumi, then she was totally into them. She wanted them the same way they wanted her. This changed, like, everything.

Mira’s head shook her head as she responded, “M and Z? This is so not subtle. That is definitely our Rumi.” A small smile was starting to form on her face before Zoey’s hand shot out and snatched her phone back. “Wait! Zoey! What-“

“Can’t wait. I need to respond. Like, now.” Her thumbs were flying across the keyboard already posting one comment before she could think.

“Wait, wait, just hold on a second,” Mira pleaded before Zoey could type out more comments. She reached down and tugged on Zoey’s arm to get her back onto the couch with her. “What are you saying? I don’t think you should tell her that it’s you responding. She might get more in her head about it.”

Zoey chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. Mira was right. Rumi was the type to overthink and they couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t somehow convince herself Zoey was lying to get her back to the apartment so they could kill her with hammers or something else equally stupid.

But… she still wanted Rumi back as soon as possible. Now that they knew how she actually felt, Zoey didn’t think she could handle waiting a whole night to talk to the other girl.

Her phone vibrated and both their heads immediately turned to see Rumi had already responded to Zoey’s first impulsive comment of {OH MY GOD. JUST TALK TO THEM??}

Mira took a steadying breath before saying, “Alright, yeah, we can work with that.” Her brows furrowed as she thought for a moment. “Okay, say something about how it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know what to say, that everything is going to work out. We love her so it’s all going to be okay.”

Zoey nodded resolutely as she began typing out her response. What Mira said sounded good. She could say that in the totally natural way an unbiased third-party observer would. She was just about to tap the post button before Mira’s hand grabbed hers. “Huh?”

“Wait, erase that part at the end that says, ‘they for sure love you too.’ That might be too obvious.” Zoey pouted even though she knew Mira had a point. Mira’s eyes softened, bringing one of Zoey’s hands up to her lips to place a kiss on the back of it. “It’s true, but we can’t come on too strong. We know how our definitely not homophobic girl is,” she said with an eye roll full of affection.

Zoey’s cheeks flooded with red. Mira must have a superpower or something with the way she always effortlessly made her weak. “Gay,” she half-heartedly mumbled as she took her hand back to erase the last part of her comment and send it.

{iLoveTurtles69: listen to me. really listen here. i think you should go talk to them as soon as possible. tonight would actually be the very best time. there’s no use in waiting you know. i promise you that this is all going to work out}

Mira smirked in response to the taunt and reached across to pinch her cheek lightly without a word. Zoey batted her hand away, pointedly staring at her phone and not her girlfriend. “Stop that.”

Mira, in fact, did not stop that. In her periphery, Zoey saw both of Mira’s hands coming towards her. Her own hands shot up to intercept the threats. From there, they devolved into a mess of wrestling and laughter.

“Ha! Gotcha!” Zoey gazed smugly down at Mira. She was straddling the other girl’s hips while using firm grips on her wrists to keep her from escaping.

Instead of being annoyed though, Mira didn’t look all that defeated. She said dryly, “Oh no. A pretty girl is on top of me. This is my worst nightmare. Hopefully, she doesn’t do anything worse like I don’t know, kiss me or something.”

Zoey laugh rang through the apartment. She’s so cute it’s unfair. She leaned down so that her lips were inches from Mira’s. “Sorry, babe, kisses are for winners.”

“Ugh,” Mira groaned with frustration, the background filled with Zoey’s soft giggles. Their eyes met, and for a moment, everything else fell away and all they could think about was how lucky they each were. Zoey released her grips on Mira’s wrists, choosing instead to lie completely flat on top of her. “Oof.”

They stayed like that for a bit, finding comfort in each other’s presence. It didn’t take long though for Mira to break the silence. “Do you… do you think she didn’t tell us because she didn’t trust us? I mean, she put all of that out there for actual strangers to see, but she didn’t tell us any of it.”

Zoey stiffened before forcing herself to relax, wrapping Mira tighter in her arms. The thought had briefly crossed her mind earlier, but she understood how the comfort of anonymity made it easier to talk about your vulnerabilities. Compared to someone like Mira who’d rather face things head-on no matter how messy or complicated it might be, both her and Rumi tended to take a more avoidant route.

“I don’t think it really had anything to do with us specifically. From what she said in her posts, I think maybe she’s just scared and she, like, really does not have experience talking about her feelings you know.”

Mira hummed, contemplating the answer. “I still don’t like how she hid this from us. She still could’ve not run away. But I mean, I guess I didn’t have to lose my cool so fast either though.”

“Wow, so self-reflective,” Zoey teased. “And you know, to be fair, she did try telling us this earlier. She was just like really bad at it.”

Mira snorted. “Understatement.”

“But yeah, I know,” Zoey sighed, “we’ll just have to train her out of that huh.” That got a laugh out of Mira. “Make sure she knows she can talk to us instead of randos on Reddit first.”

“Yeah, we’ll work on that.”

The moment was interrupted by Zoey’s phone going off with a notification. They’d definitely be returning to that conversation later. Hopefully, with Rumi there too next time.

“That’s gotta be her!”

Mira’s hands settled on her girlfriend’s thighs as Zoey sat up and leaned over to grab her phone. Mira still seemed perfectly content in her current position, making no move to shift the other girl off. “What'd she say?”

Zoey’s mind was working a mile a minute. She’d read Rumi’s response that made it seem like she was leaning towards not coming back that night and Zoey found that unacceptable. Absolutely not was she waiting one more night. Before she could really think it through, she had already typed and posted her response.

Mira’s eyes narrowed at the silence she received in lieu of an actual answer. She propped herself up onto her elbows. “Zoey…” A nervous giggle now. “What did she say? And what did you say?”

Zoey turned her phone for Mira to read. Oops.

{OP: I don’t know… I was thinking I should give it a day or until the morning at the very least to try again… They might need some more space

iLoveTurtles69: babe i am on my hand and knees begging you to go to them right now}

Mira smacked Zoey’s thigh before falling back with a long groan. “Zoeyy, you make us sound so desperate.”

“I am desperate!”

“Not that desperate!”

“I’m a yearner at heart, Mira.”

“So not what that means.”

“Hush now.”