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It was 4am on a Tuesday.
Feliks couldn’t sleep for the third day in a row. It was terrible, really. Whenever he lied down, he found it absolute torture to just let his mind wander freely in silence. That would produce way too many horrible memories.
That night, he was listening to a podcast about the fall of the Soviet Union. It was a topic he was very familiar with, which was probably why he could allow himself to focus on only every third word and still follow the story.
“…and that’s why we need to move Mr Dominik to another room,” said one of Feliks’ colleagues, Tereza. Her short brown hair was tied in a very tiny ponytail at the back of her head. She was the ward sister of their department, orthopedics, which was very busy around the summertime. People travelled, they got hurt doing things they didn’t usually do.
“Feliks? Hello?”
Feliks snapped back to reality. The bright light of their call room hurt his eyes.
“Yes, I’m focused.”
Teraza shook her head. “This is the third week you’ve come to work tired. Please get that under control.”
“Sure thing.”
Feliks lived in a small one bedroom flat in a tenement house in Karlin, Prague. Whenever he came back there, he’d be reminded of his giant Soviet era apartment building where he grew up. This area was so much more beautiful and vibrant with life and yet Feliks always felt like something was missing. The people in the restaurants spoke a language he wasn’t entirely comfortable in, though he understood a lot of it when it was written. He passed all the language proficiency tests in order to be able to work in a hospital as a nurse but learning a few formulas was easy enough. Speaking about personal matters was another matter entirely.
The apartment had only one window, making it difficult to properly air it out. Whenever Feliks drew the curtain, it became difficult to breathe nearly immediately. It made him want to cry every time. Not because it was some giant inconvenience but because he was tired and irritated. Tereza could act like she was concerned as his friend but the truth was that she was his boss and her worry really stemmed from his work ethic being subpar. That also reflected badly on her.
It was 5:20am on a Saturday. Feliks was staring at the ceiling.
And then it was 8pm on the same Saturday but instead of wallowing in self pity for another night, Feliks was getting ready to go out. He was sick of constantly being alone and he knew that Prague had a few interesting clubs. He needed to go somewhere and just forget about everything. Maybe partying enough would make him tired and he’d finally sleep?
The streets of the city center were always busy. Not only were there a lot of people going to parties but there were also plenty of tourists, enjoying the evening view of the historic streets. Feliks sometimes felt weirdly trapped in the crowds. Warsaw was big but in the twenty four years he spent there, he’d never seen so many tourists anywhere. Here, they seemed to be absolutely all over the place.
He walked into the first interesting club he saw. There was an 80s themed party going on. Though his outfit didn’t fit the vibe at all, Feliks paid for the entry and just decided to have fun. His white t-shirt and blue flaired jeans would have to do. Very quickly he realized that most people that came to this club were already in groups. That didn’t matter though, he didn’t come here to make friends. He just needed an illusion of being a part of something.
Feliks was dancing like there was no tomorrow. He tried to pretend this was one of his favorite clubs in Warsaw where he always eventually became the king of the dance floor. Here, nobody paid him any mind. Maybe that was for the best.
Until Feliks noticed him.
He was a tall man with shoulder length brown hair, standing near the bar. He was wearing a black tank top, which showed off his muscular arms and a pair of black straight jeans. Feliks thought he was dreaming. Somehow, he found himself moving from the middle of the dance floor, just to be closer to the man. He was hoping to be noticed but he very quickly realized that if the stranger wanted to pick up people who were dancing, he’d actually move from his spot at the bar. He wasn’t even sipping any alcohol, it was just water with a slice of lemon.
Feliks decided to approach him himself.
“Hi!” He said, maybe a tiny bit too enthusiastically. Thankfully, he got the man’s attention. They locked eye contact and Feliks would lie if he said that the green eyes he saw didn’t make his legs nearly melt.
“Hi,” the man answered a bit unsurely. He raised an eyebrow.
“What’s your name?”
The eyebrow went a bit higher. “Taurys,” he said.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Feliks!”
Taurys nodded but didn’t say anything.
“Where are you from?” Feliks asked. He needed to somehow start a conversation.
“How do you know I’m not from here?” Taurys asked back. He took a sip of his water.
“Well, Taurys is not really a Czech name, is it?” Feliks said and put his hands on his hips.
Taurys smiled. “Ok, fine. I’m from Vilnius, I came here on holiday with my brothers,” he explained and then pointed towards two blonde guys who were clearly desperately trying to join a group of dancers as the new song was starting.
Feliks nodded, though his glance left Taurys’ face for only a second. He was truly a treat to look at. He also seemed weirdly nervous for some reason, though he was clearly hiding it.
“Do you feel like getting out of here?” Feliks offered. Taurys gave him a surprised look.
“I really shouldn’t, I mean-“
“Your brothers have each other. Come on,” Feliks smiled, praying in his mind that this would work.
He really didn’t expect Taurys to follow him out of the club.
“Did I really look that uncomfortable there?” He asked as soon as they stepped onto the street.
“Perhaps,” Feliks said. “Clubs are not your thing, are they?”
“No,” Taurys shook his head. “The most busy place I’ll visit is a bar when they host a concert and those usually have at most fifty people showing up.”
“You like indie music?”
“Very much so, yes.”
They asked each other more unimportant questions of the sort that evening. They walked to Charles Bridge, slightly closer to each other than either of them would have expected.
“This place is beautiful,” Taurys commented as they were walking. “We just arrived in the evening and didn’t have a lot of time to sightsee.”
Feliks allowed the silence to fill the air. The place spoke for itself.
“So, Feliks,” Taurys spoke up again. “What are you doing here? Also travelling?”
“I live here, actually,” Feliks answered. “It’s only been a few months.”
“And where are you from originally?”
“Actually, it’s funny,” he said with a slight laugh. “I’m from Warsaw, specifically a district called Praga. So I guess you could say I didn’t really move at all.”
Taurys smiled at that comment. It was a small smile, one without teeth showing, but Feliks liked it regardless.
It didn’t take long before they were getting out at the Křižíkova subway station, which was the nearest station to Feliks’ apartment. How he got Taurys to agree to come home with him, he wasn’t sure. He also didn’t know whether the man didn’t take the offer as completely platonic, even if Feliks looked at him with clear thirst in his eyes as he invited him. Throughout the few hours they knew each other, Feliks figured out that he wasn’t easy to read. His answers to questions were short, contrasted with Feliks’ long rambles. A few things he got to know for sure though. Taurys was here on holiday for four days with his two brothers, Raivis and Eduard, both of whom were adopted by his parents when Taurys was five. He liked poetry, indie rock and the color green. He didn’t usually wear tank tops, the one he had on was Eduard’s.
“That’s why it’s slightly too small,” he clarified.
He most definitely never showed up at any parties. By extension, he’d never gone home with any stranger before.
When Feliks closed the door, he wondered whether he should have clarified his intentions before they came here. He wanted to say something regarding that but Taurys was already walking further into his apartment.
“It’s cozy,” he said as he crossed the entrance to the main and only room. He seemed to be taking everything in: Feliks’ small desk in front of the window, the TV on the wall next to it and a dresser. There was a double bed with a couch next to it, both covered in dark red pillows. There was also a small kitchen, which Feliks thanked himself for tidying up before he’d left.
“So-“ he began but stopped when he saw Taurys’ eyes on him. It was the same look he’d been giving him the entire evening. Hungry, absolutely enamoured.
They stared at each other for a few short moments before something in Feliks snapped. He moved closer to Taurys and very carefully began decreasing the distance between their lips. He expected there to be disgust, panic, some kind of violent reaction. So when Taurys grabbed him by the back of his head and pulled him closer, ultimately connecting their lips, Feliks had to admit he was quite surprised.
The kiss was soft, despite the rather aggressive initiation. Kissing back was a true pleasure. He expected a comment from Taurys after that, maybe one filled with regret. Nothing of the sort came though. After the first kiss came another and another until they both weren’t counting anymore.
Soon enough, Feliks’ t-shirt were on the floor. Taurys’ tank top followed not too long after, revealing his well built chest.
“Care to reveal what you do for work?” Feliks asked eventually, his hands resting on the buckle of Taurys’ pants.
He got a small laugh in response. “I actually work in IT.”
“No fucking way!” Feliks exclaimed and even had to move his hands to Taurys’ chest, as if to confirm it was truly there and not just a hallucination of his. “And you’re built like this?”
Taurys shrugged. “Working from home gives you a lot of time to do other things.”
Before Feliks could allow himself to answer with ‘yeah, like me’, Taurys pulled him in for another kiss.
After the fact, they were both lying in bed in silence. Feliks forgot what it was like to share a mattress with another person, to be this close to someone. Taurys was warm and his embrace was so, so inviting. They weren’t saying anything and yet, Feliks didn’t feel the need to fill his thoughts with something. He could just be, content in the arms of a man who he’d only met that evening.
“This was bothering me the entire night,” Taurys suddenly spoke up. “Perhaps it’s not my place to ask but… what drew you to Prague?”
Feliks tensed slightly. The memories of his difficult childhood in Warsaw paired with the amazing sex he’d just had created a very unpleasant contrast. He sighed heavily and chose to at least say something. For some reason, Taurys had earned his trust.
“I was never really liked by my peers. Not in primary school, not in high school and that unfortunately didn’t change in university,” he explained, though he didn’t look at Taurys as he did though. Lying on his chest, without seeing his reactions, somehow made this easier. Or perhaps it was also the fact that they could very easily never see each other again after this night. “Long story short, I was accused of something I didn’t do. I’m a bit of a drama queen so I just had to leave instead of handling it like a mature adult.”
He felt Taurys nod. “I suppose that’s all you’ll tell me for now?”
“Yeah, sorry. I don’t share the crimes I’ve been accused of on the first meeting.”
He heard Taurys laugh quietly.
‘Life is truly peculiar,’ Feliks thought. He didn’t even realize when he fell asleep, not really, but in this half-asleep state, he began wondering whether the kiss on the forehead he felt was real or just a part of his dream.
Though Feliks rarely if ever remembered his dreams before, didn’t he?