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“Wheeeek!”
Bob paused in the hallway, the shriek coming from Yelena’s apartment. She had moved in a few days ago and Bob had been wondering if he should get her a house – apartment – warming gift. That’s what friends did, right? He had been trying to hide how happy he was that she was now on the same floor as him.
The door ajar he poked his head in. Yelena was slicing carrots, and a very loud and demanding guineapig was letting her know that breakfast was late. Those wheeks were very familiar.
“Yes, yes porosenok! Keep your hair on…”
“Someone’s hungry,” Bob said and Yelena turned to him with a grin.
“Bob! Meet my little piggie!” she moved to the large cage she had set up on the floor, which had cozy hammocks and fluffy caves for the animal. “He usually has more manners than this. Such language,” she admonished as she fed the pig a carrot slice. Bob smiled as Yelena handed him a carrot and he sat crossed legged on the ground.
“You know guineapigs need company?”
“I know, I’ve just been too busy to get him a friend. I’ll get you a whole gang Kaji!”
Bob frowned and looked up at Yelena. “That’s Malaysian.”
“Yeah, I think he understands it more than English. I rescued him from the lab there.”
“Mine?” Bob asked, stunned and looked back at the now content furball. “…Bob Jr? I thought you had died.” Grinning in disbelief Bob picked him up and brought him up to his face. “It is you!”
“You know him?” Yelena sat next to him.
“We were the last test subjects left. The scientists called him Bob Jr and it stuck. I can’t believe he’s here,” he gave him a gentle kiss on the head and put him back. Yelena was staring at him with a soft gaze that was tinged with unease.
“Do – do you want him back? You’ve already named him…”
“No! Kaji is his name. Maybe we can both look after him?”
“We will share custody. You hear that Kaji? You have a mama and a papa. I’d introduce you to Fanny but I think she’ll eat you.”
Yelena smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. She was in bright blue and mustard brown; in fact she had become some bird of paradise since moving into the Watchtower. He would catch flashes of neon greens and deep purples disappearing around corners, a cacophony of colour. Always her. He felt a little…beige in comparison and thought about his golden suits wrapped in plastic in his wardrobe. Realising that he was staring Yelena looked down at herself.
“What? Is it too much? Ava said I look like a rainbow threw up on me.”
“No, you look…fun.”
“I’m experimenting.”
“I just wear the same thing. Sweatshirts and jeans. Makes it hard for the paparazzi to sell pictures.” That was his excuse anyway. Before he had sent most of Manhattan to the shadow realm people had got pictures of the Void and the internet was filled with detectives. It had not taken them long to piece together that the milquetoast Bob was also some eldritch being. Apparently he had a distinct silhouette, even hidden under layers.
Yelena hummed and looked back at her – their – pet. “It’s not just paparazzi. You have girl fans.”
Bob shook his head and got to his feet. “Nu-uh.”
“Uh uh. I saw one with a poster. She was wearing a black wedding dress. She wanted you to void her,” Yelena stared up at him on her knees, mischief glinting her eyes.
“God…gonna guess she wasn’t in Manhattan that day.” He bit his lip and tilted his head at her. “I figured out where the rooms came from,” he pointed down at Kaji. “They had him in this fake house maze thing, with all of these rooms that had no way out once you got in.”
Yelena got to her feet. “You – the Void – gave ways out.”
“To worse things, yeah.”
“Ways out,” she repeated, and he was caught in her gaze. For some inexplicable reason she was concerned about him, had been from the first. It was something he had to repeat to himself when the dark thoughts surfaced, that she was only sticking with him to tether him to the light in fear of what will happen when it’s extinguished. They were friends and he will do anything to show that she can rely on him. Friends.
More. Never felt this with anyone.
“Do you wanna – do you wanna go and get some food with me? Breakfast?”
“Sure,” she blinked slowly, like a cat and his eyes flicked to her lips as she licked them. “I’m hungry. Wheeek,” she squeaked suddenly and he laughed, breaking the spell he was under. God, he had to get himself under control.
“Bye, Kaji,” he said and Yelena blew a kiss at the guineapig.
“Don’t have any parties!” she added and they made their way to the elevator. Bob insisted that they use the back entrance, but his wannabe goth bride was there, along with others.
“Fuck,” he hissed and Yelena grinned widely.
“I’ve been practising my autograph.”
“Don’t you dare,” he grabbed her hand and pulled her away. Yelena waved at them and Bob caught the clear jealousy on those faces. Oh if only they knew they had nothing to worry about. She had shown not the slightest interest and if they spoke to any of his exes they’d burn those signs.
Yelena looked back. “We are going to find some friends for our son.”
“Lena!”
He hooked his arm around her waist and in a blink they were gone. They materialled outside a café a few streets away. Yelena gasped in his arms.
“What? How?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never done that before.”
“Wow. That’s one way to get away from them. You’re red,” she added and he puffed out a breath. The street was largely deserted, thank goodness. Bob narrowed his eyes at her.
“They’re gonna think we have a kid.”
“We do. Also, a step dog called Fanny Longbottom.”
“Right. I promise I won’t shirk my responsibilities.”
“I had no doubts,” she smiled, teased and he loved how easy this was with her, how quickly they had fallen into this groove. They sat at a booth and Bob stared at her as she looked down at a menu, forgetting his own. He wished it could be like this – them – all the time.
It could be. I could do that…
He realised she was speaking and shoved that thought away. “Sorry?”
“Would you date one of them? Your groupies.”
“Please don’t call them that. And no, I wouldn’t.” Not now, not with the woman sitting across from him. He cleared his throat and looked down at his menu. “Would you?”
She scoffed in answer. “No, I find the whole thing gross.”
“What do you mean?”
“After my first kiss with a boy I felt nauseous for hours.” She shivered in mock disgust and something sharp happened inside him. “Or it was just a bad kiss. Or both. I dunno.”
“So…you’re gay?”
“I’m not…anything. I had crushes on boys as a kid but the last few years…there’s been nothing. Guess I’m a freak huh?”
“No, no I never said that.”
“No? I shouldn’t go join Wednesday Addams outside of the building?”
He chuckled. “No. But…never?” he asked, curious as a waitress took their order before settling down drinks. They got pancakes. When they were alone, Yelena spoke, stirring her milkshake with a paper straw.
“Nothing that lasts. I just don’t think I have that thing in me,” she shrugged and then guffawed. “Literally.”
“Oh god.” Bob lifted his menu to his face as Yelena laughed.
“But then I’ve only been a free person for awhile. I haven’t had many…opportunities.”
Bob would very readily be an option – a guineapig if you will – for any and all opportunities but he kept his face hidden behind the menu. Their pancakes arrived and he realised how hungry he was. He poured the berry compote on top and tucked in.
“What about you?”
“Huh?” he had his mouth full of pancake.
“Is it in you?”
He swallowed before he choked. “Uh…yeah. I’ve had girlfriends but nothing ever worked out. The drugs and the inevitable,” he whistled and dived his hand onto the table. He had got an email from a girl he met in Kuala Lumpur; they would get high together. She was in the states and had gotten clean. He had not responded. He couldn’t.
“But now you’re clean.”
“Yeah…” The serum had made it impossible to get intoxicated. It had also cured his back pain, which is what lead him down his opioid path to begin with.
“So you could date again?” she asked, munching.
“I won’t. For the first time I feel like I’ve got something good. Friends…you.”
Yelena smiled. “I feel the same. I don’t want things to go bad. I’m happy. You make me happy.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean look at me,” she motioned at her outfit with her fork. “Before I met you I’d be in sweatpants I had on for days.”
“I shower every day now,” he admitted and she nodded vigorously.
“Me too! See? Who needs to be filled when you have friends.”
“Uhhh…”
“Don’t answer that.”
“…wheek.”